POV: Jordan

I sat next to Alex, brushing my hand through his fur, mascara running down my face. Blood ran down his arms and onto the floor. I was crying, holding onto him and coddling his face. I almost kissed him, but then I turned my head sharply to the camera. "Don't blame me, love made me crazy. If it doesn't you ain't doing it right."

The camera cut to me strutting down a red carpet with a sleek purple dress, the room pitch black. Marble pillars stood alongside me, their torches lighting to my presence. "For you I would cross the line. I would waste my time, I would lose my mind...they say she's gone too far this time."

The lights cut out and I fell to the floor. Trees sprouted around me, flowers growing at an alarming rate. The sun shone on my green dress as I laid in a field of daisies, looking up into the sky and smiling. "I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy."

The floor below me disappeared and I was falling out of the sky, clouds puffing around me and the wind blowing through my fur. "And baby for you I would fall from grace, just to touch your face, if you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay."

I fell to the ground, my eyes slowly closing as "Vote For Jordan", flashed onto the screen.

Alex and Nathan were whispering to each other behind me, they were talking about how I felt towards the video. Of course I liked it, but seeing Alex like that...again...willingly. It just didn't sit right with me, and I knew I was going to have to make more of these stupid videos. Credit where credit was due though, Nathan was an amazing visual editor. And apparently, I could sing.

Alex put his hand on my shoulder. "This looks amazing! We were really good together!"
I smirked at him. "Don't get too confident wolf boy, I won't be doing another one of these for a while."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Still, you're definitely going to get more carnivores on your side. You looked really pretty too."
"Thanks," I said, feeling a warm sensation in my chest.

Nathan broke up the conversation. "Ok lovebirds, Jordan and I need to focus on more stuff for her campaign." He looked down at his phone and sighed. "Looks like you have to go Alex."

Alex shrugged his shoulders again and looked towards me. "Don't worry, I won't be in the hospital for much longer. They told me I'll be back next week."

"NEXT WEEK?!" I jumped my chair and flung my arms around him.

"Whoa," he said, awkwardly patting my back.

I pulled away. "Sorry, I-its just...wow." I was so damn happy to hear that. I finally got some good news after everything. All I wanted was for him to get better, all I wanted was for him to be happy. It seemed like that time was finally coming for him.

Alex packed up his bags, the bandages on his arms completely gone, the scars covered by his ever increasing grey fur. Then he headed out the door with a wave.

Nathan looked towards me. "You still like him, don't you?"

I slumped back in my chair. "Of course I do, how could I not?"

Nathan agreed and sat down at his desk. "Ok, next course of action is to post the video, see what Brittney does, then counter it."

"When are we ever going to go on the offensive? It seems like we're just waiting for things to happen."

"That's exactly what we're doing." His eyes were glued to the screen. "Brittney will be the first to post a video, we'll see how the school reacts to it, then we'll counter it. Her last video went over well, shifting most of the carnivores to her side."

"So, we're just playing the waiting game?"

"You may be playing the waiting game, but I'm thinking of everything that could go wrong, and a solution to get us out of it."

Now was my time to make a comment, hopefully something he would remember. "You seem to be very good at this espionage and strategy stuff."

He nodded his head, taking a quick glance towards me. "When you're forced into situations that activate fight or flight; fight is the only thing that comes to my mind." He smiled again, a cute smile, one that showed no murderous intent. Although he seemed to be getting better at hiding it.

A wave of untrustworthiness flooded my body.

Fight or flight, huh? Seems like we're just doing the flight portion...unless.

"Nathan?" I asked. "What happens if Brittney does come after us?"

He continued typing on his keyboard.

"Nathan?" I asked again.

He dug through his backpack, pulling out a tablet and connecting it to his laptop.

Fine then.

I finished up some homework on my laptop, wondering if I could ask him to help me with my math homework, then deciding against it. Whatever was up with him, I didn't want to get in the middle of it. Yet, strangely enough, I did. I was intrigued by his antics, by his posture, his composure. He was calm, held together tightly by thick threads, but I wondered if they were fraying at the ends, only because of his comments and darkening tone.

Nathan posted the video and we waited for the comments, the likes, the views to flood in. It only took a couple of seconds before I received hate messages on my phone, horrible texts and millions calls. Nathan told me to ignore them, as he stared intently at his screen. I could see the view counter tallying up with each second passing. I knew it was only a matter of time before Brittney saw it, or perhaps she already saw it.

My question to Nathan was immediately answered when there was a knock at the door, and he got up to answer it.

I could see Brittney's tiny frame leaning against the door, and I scooted my chair closer to listen in on their conversation, although it seemed like Nathan wanted me to know who was here by the way he addressed her presence.

"Hello Brittney," he said with a toothy grin. "So nice of you to show up."

Brittney tried to look into the room, but he blocked her movement. "Ugh, what is your problem?! Who even are you anyway?!" she said.

"My name is Nathan, although you don't know who I am. I'm helping Jordan work on her campaign."

Again, she tried to push past him, but he shut the door right in her face...hard. I heard someone stumble backwards outside the door, and my eyes grew wide. "What did you just do!?" I yelled towards Nathan.

He smirked and sat down at his desk, ignoring the shouts from Brittney outside. "I shut her up."

I swallowed hard, wanting to go check and see if she was ok, but judging by the sound of footsteps stomping away, she was perfectly fine.

I turned to look at Nathan. "You-you can't just do that!"

"I can, and I just did," he said with no emotion. "Now, I'd like you to drop the matter, it's not important."

"Not important?! That okapi out there has the potential to ruin everything! To destroy us! And it doesn't matter to you!?"

"Jordan," he said, his tone dark. He looked at me from the sides of his eyes. There was no way this hyena was who said he was. "She holds no power over us. She never has, and she never will. We're carnivores, and she's an herbivore."

I shook my head. "We may agree on some things, Nathan, but this one in particular, you're wrong." He shrugged his shoulders, ignoring me for the rest of the day.

What the hell was wrong with this hyena? What crazy trick did he have up his sleeve?

Was he just a psycho in disguise? Was he a predatory offender? No, the school wouldn't allow him back if he was. But he never answered my personal questions, and he seemed quite gifted on finding, and hiding information. For all intended purposes, he could've been just another meat-crazed carnivore, biding his time to attack Brittney.

Another dilemma crossed my mind: would I stop him if he attacked Brittney? Or would I let it happen, and leave him to suffer the consequences. There was no denying his usefulness towards the Student Council project, I just hoped everything I thought about him was wrong.

Steven, he would know what Nathan is up to, or at least give me some context to his abnormal behavior. I packed my bag, stuffing my laptop lazily in and hurrying out the door, only giving Nathan a vague description as to where I was going and what I was doing. He didn't need to know I was trying to dig up dirt on him, just anything to soothe the nerves that flared up when I was around him.

I knocked on his dorm room door. Dalton answered, looking tired and fed up with something. "Hey Jordan," he said. I kinda felt bad for him, he seemed to be going through something. I shook the thoughts away, he was horrible to everyone, there was no way I was going to give him any sympathy.

"Hey, is Steven around?" I asked.

"Umm…I think he's in the math hallway, tutoring freshman. That's where he usually hangs out."

"Thanks," I said about leaving, but Dalton spoke up before I left.
"Is-is Alex doing better?"

I turned on my heel. I wasn't angry, but I didn't want to tell him the whole truth. Or maybe he already knew everything from Steven, maybe he actually did care. "He's doing better now, he told me he would be back next week." Dalton sighed and thanked me, and I left with more questions than answers. Whatever, I didn't care about him, and neither did Alex.

Dalton was right, Steven was in a math lecture room tutoring freshman. There were carnivores and herbivores, all of them working together to solve a tough problem when I walked in. Steven took notice and smiled, telling the students he would be back soon.

"Did you hear the good news?" he said.

"Yeah...but that's not why I'm here." Steven raised an eyebrow and I elaborated. "It's about Nathan...I'm worried about him."

"Nathan? Why him? If anything, Dalton is the one who needs to be worried about."

"What, why do you say that?"

Steven shrugged his shoulders. "Ever since he heard about what Alex did, he's kinda fallen into a depression himself. We've tried to help him through it, but he has no motivation to do anything. He just sits in the dorm room and sulks. It's not good for him. I know he isn't the best animal, but Alex's attempted suicide has changed a lot of animals. And I think Dalton for the better."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, immediately regretting my thoughts towards Dalton. Maybe I could do something about it, but he wasn't my concern right now, it was Nathan. "Back to Nathan though. Do you notice him acting strange at all? Like, he says things, does things that just make you wonder?"

"I don't know, to be honest, I don't really pay attention to him. He has his own set of friends, we hardly do things together. But I'm glad you asked him to help you out in the audio visual club, he really needed that release." He smiled, his tail wagging happily behind him. Steven was a character, definitely one of the best animals this school had to offer. I hoped nothing Brittney did ever affected him, he didn't deserve it.

"Sorry for asking," I said. "You're the only animal I can talk to about this. But there's something about Nathan that just rubs me the wrong way. The things he says, the stuff he does, it freaks me out. Brittney came by after we posted our video, and he slammed the door in her face."

Steven gave a slanted smile. "We've known each other for awhile-Nathan and I-but I can't really say he's done anything that seemed weird. He's mostly just content with everything. He really likes to focus on school. But that's about it."

I sighed and looked into the lecture hall, before looking back towards him. His eyes really were a golden color, just like Alex had said. "Well, thanks for...clearing something up. Hopefully he doesn't eat me." I chuckled and Steven gave a nervous laugh. "I'm kidding," I said.

"I know," Steven responded with a light hearted laugh and we both went our separate ways.

I walked back to my dorm, falling into my bed and wishing sleep would take me faster than the questions flung at me. I knew sleeping early was a bad thing, because I would wake up in the middle of the night. But I couldn't get out of the rhythm, and I was missing roommate nights, which actually sounded more fun than being in the audio visual room with Nathan.

️ ️ ️

Walking the halls of the school was terrifying. Everybody was looking at me, whispering to each other as I made my way from class to class. I knew what they were talking about, it was the video. Some animals weren't too happy that I used Alex to gain more views, for animals to take me seriously. Well, he did consent to it and he was happy to do it. So it's not like I forced him into it, he knew what he was getting into. And so did I, but at least the bathroom hallucinations were fading away. Maybe I just needed to see him more, that seemed to be the cure.

Also didn't help that the students were seeing a completely different Jordan than the one I portrayed on my videos. I was still wearing Alex's grey hoodie with my long jeans. Still hiding away in my classes and never really talking unless I was spoken to. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, I was beginning to like the silence and the loneliness, I was beginning to turn into past Jordan. The one who stayed in her room for hours, reading books or browsing the internet. The one who didn't really have any friends.

I was waiting just for Alex to get out of the hospital, just to finally show up at school. I never got enough of him, never enough. I wanted to feel his fur, to stare into his eyes, to hear his deep voice. Everything about him, I just wanted him. He's all I could think about, clouding my mind, making me forget school assignments, forgetting times and past conversations. I thought my feelings towards him were gone, destroyed. But they never left, they were just buried alive, waiting for the perfect time to surface.

He didn't like me romantically though. Of course I had to learn that the hard way, of course we couldn't have just ended it with a kiss.

An idea burst into my head, and I ran to Mrs. Baker's office. It had been awhile since I've talked to her, mostly because she was busy with school stuff, and I was busy with the Student Council advertisement stuff. I was also scared to hear what she would've said about the videos I've posted. She never seemed to care when I presented the idea, but maybe I took it too far.

Mrs. Baker was working hard on assignment, her eyes glued to her computer. She took a quick glance towards me and smiled. "Nice to see you again, anything you need?" She always put everything on hold to talk to me, to make sure I was ok.

"Actually, there is one thing. I need an off-campus permit."

"What for?" she said, pulling out the slip and filling it out, handing it back to me with a smile. "Ah, I think I know. You want to go visit Alex, don't you?" I nodded my head and looked over the slip in my hands. As always, Mrs. Baker put down the perfect times, and there would be no repercussions if I were to return late. I'm sure she did the same thing for Steven, I mean, I was the one who asked her to do that.

"Thank you," I said, slipping out of her office, looking towards Brittney's, then leaving the administration office.

The memory of Brittney ripping out a tooth never came back to haunt me. It was in the past, and it was going to stay in the past. The tooth was fixed, and Alex was the only thing I cared about.

He was the best thing that's ever been mine.

️ ️ ️

I stood smiling in front of the hospital, knowing who awaited me inside. I just had to walk up to the receptionist, tell her which room I was going to, then take the elevator up. Simple and easy, so why was I shaking? Was it from excitement, or nervousness? Last time we saw each other we did an interview, and I quickly realized just how different Alex actually was. He wasn't sad anymore, wasn't depressed. He was able to answer my questions, and throw a little bit of shade towards me as well. I liked the new Alex, but the old one was sweet and kind-hearted, I hoped that part of him stayed.

The nurse allowed me to see Alex and my heart fluttered each time the elevator stopped to pick up new animals. I was getting closer and closer to his floor. Closer to the animal I loved, closer to the animal who didn't love me back.

So, who did he love?

Did he even like girls?

DID HE LIKE GUYS?!

I ran through the hospital halls, flinging open his door without any hesitation. He was sitting on his bed, his nose buried in his phone. He looked up at me and smiled, the smile that melted my heart. Everything about him was perfect, and I was entranced in his eyes. In everything.

"Hey Jordan," he said. He was wearing a loose white shirt, which highlighted the body underneath. I couldn't stop staring, I knew I had to pull away, but I just couldn't. I knew my mouth was slightly open because Alex was staring at me as well, a confused look on his face.

"Oh-right, hey Alex!" I said, pulling him into a hug. Even if I just saw him yesterday, it felt like I hadn't seen him in years. He smelled of mint shampoo and his fur was soft, just like I knew it to be.

"What are you doing here?" He seemed surprised, and honestly, I didn't know what I was doing there either.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I just wanted to see you...again. I miss you."

"I miss you too, but don't you have some Student Council stuff you're busy with?"

I waved him off. "That's what Nathan is for."

He shot me an even more confused face, and I told him I would explain later. I just wanted to talk to him, to hear his voice and no one else's.

"Well," he said. "We've made a lot of progress-Dr. Sherman and I-so that's new. I'm feeling much better, if that makes a difference in anything. And I heard about Dalton feeling depressed from Steven."

"Yeah," I said, sitting down on the leather couch. "He didn't look too good when I went to talk to him. Steven says he might just feel guilty, but you can never tell with him."

"Well, animals who have done bad things in the past still deserve some sort of sympathy, especially when you can tell they're trying to change."

I rolled my eyes. "Right, like Dalton is the type of animal to change."

Alex scratched his ears and fiddled with his hands. "Actually, I'm glad you're here. There's something I need to tell you." I focused all my attention on him and he sat next to me, avoiding eye contact. "It's something that I just recently discovered, well, not recently. I don't know, I've been thinking about it a lot, ever since I came to this school and I didn't really know what those feelings were until I actually internalized them."

I braced myself for whatever he was going to throw at me. Had he been cutting himself again? Maybe another suicide attempted? I was scared to hear anything come out of his mouth, but luckily, silence blessed us for a couple seconds. Then he opened his mouth and spoke. "I know you like me, and I'm sorry I can't return those feelings, as much as I know you want me to. But there's something else you need to know, I can't go on with my life without telling you, it just wouldn't be right."

Get on with it then! Stop stalling!

He looked towards me and smiled, I could've sworn there was a tear falling down his face. Then more, but he was still smiling, he wasn't saying sorry. I didn't know what to do, so as I just watched as he breathed slowly, tears falling down his face. I didn't know what to do, so I hugged him, it was the only thing I could do. He didn't put arms around me for a couple of seconds, then he hugged me tight. Whatever it was, it was causing him pain, or maybe it was the same emotions that caused him to attempt suicide.

"You can tell me Alex," I said.

He pulled away and wiped his face. "I just-I don't want to hurt you even more. You came all this way to see me, and I can't even feel the same feelings you feel towards me."

"Just tell me," I said with a laugh, brushing my hand across the fur on his face. I swear, if he liked me back, I would've kissed him right there on the hospital couch. It was just the perfect setting, the perfect emotions. I loved him.

"I'm gay"

My suspicions were correct, he liked guys. But I didn't feel betrayed, I didn't feel like a hopeless romantic. Being gay didn't mean anything to me, he was still my friend, still the animal I loved. No matter who he was attracted to, no matter who he dated, I was always going to love him.

I smiled at him and held his hands, feeling over his claws. "Who's the lucky guy that's stealing you away from me? " I said with a chuckle.

He looked off to the side, clearly embarrassed. "Steven."

I felt so happy like I was about to cry, I didn't know why. It didn't make any sense. He just told me he loved someone else, not me. So why was I feeling happy? Why couldn't I hold back the massive smile, the tears across my face?

My body didn't know what to do. Was it happy? Was it sad? Was it disappointed? It couldn't make up its mind, and neither could I. But I knew one thing, Steven was the perfect animal for him. The animal he deserved. The happiness, the light, it was finally brought back into his life, and it was all because of Steven. Well, maybe I helped a little bit.

Then I did something that I would regret for the rest of my life. My body moved on its own.

I kissed him on the cheek, then pulled back immediately.

It was amazing, it was warm. It was everything I wanted. I wanted to do it again, but I cursed at myself, criticizing my stupidity. He didn't like me like that, and there I was, making a move.

"I-I'm so sorry! I don't know what got over me!" I said standing up and heading for the door. I needed to get out of there, I couldn't be in the room with him anymore.

He grabbed my hand and stood up. "Jordan," he said calmly. "It's ok."

I turned around. "No! It's not ok! You like someone else, and I just KISSED YOU."

He rubbed his cheek. "Yeah, but it wasn't on the lips, and I'm not dating anyone. So I think it's ok."

"WHAT?!"

Alex laughed at my outburst and smiled. "It's fine, really. I don't mind it."

"But-but you like Steven! Not me!"

"Nobody ever said I didn't like you. Nobody also ever said I didn't love you."

I picked up my stuff from the ground, awkwardly shuffling for my phone. "I know...but it just feels so wrong, I shouldn't have done it."

He grabbed my hands, and I thought he was going to kiss me back. I hoped he was going to kiss me back, but he just stared into my eyes. "Well, it happened. You can choose to forget about it, or hold onto it. It's up to you." He let go of my hands, they fell lifelessly to my sides and we stood silent for a couple of minutes.

"I love you," I whispered.

He tilted his head at me, his ears following the path. "I know, I love you too."

"When-when you come back to school. We're still gonna be friends right?"

What was I saying? Of course we would still be friends. He had already told me that this little encounter meant nothing, well, it meant something. But it wouldn't ruin the friendship we already had, maybe it would just make it stronger. Maybe we would be the perfect couple, just in a different way, one I wasn't expecting.

"Why would we not be friends? You've stuck with me this whole time, besides, one little kiss on the cheek isn't enough to send me running." He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled. "Tell Steven I said hi."

I took a deep breath and opened the door, leaving him alone in the hospital room. I wanted to see him everyday, I just had to be patient and wait. I Would rather replace Nathan with him to help me out.

A small part of me wanted him to not be gay though, which is the most selfish thing I could've thought of. I wanted him to be mine, but it wasn't in the cards, we couldn't rewrite the stars for us to be together. He was going to have someone else by his side, till death do they part. I would always be on the sidelines, watching as his life progressed, and mine stayed stagnant.