Dudley walked into the second Defence lesson of May to see a very smug and unpleasant-looking woman with a striking resemblance to a toad being suffocated by some pink fluffy creature. Once everyone had packed in and sat down she introduced herself.
"I am Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic and Head of the Committee for the Implementation of Educational Reform. I have come here to make sure that our esteemed Professor Gaunt has been able to adequately prepare you for your upcoming exams. Just pretend I'm not here and go about your lessons as you normally would." She giggled at the end, an artificial, saccharine laugh, like a demon emulating a schoolgirl. Her whole Aura was making Dudley uncomfortable, as if she was a Vampire waiting to feast.
"Today we shall be discussing how to answer your questions during the O.W.L.'s," Professor Gaunt began. "More specifically I shall be instructing you on the proper way to word them, as you will be graded on penmanship and literacy in each exam-"
"It is a deeply held belief that the future of our society should be competent enough to write more than their name," Umbridge interrupted, her voice sounding magically magnified, something that caused Dudley a fair bit of pain with his magically amplified hearing.
"Yes, indeed, such a thing is imperative for the future of the wizarding world. Thank you for your insightful addition to our lesson, I welcome any and all input from someone of your stature, there is a reason our Minister chose you as his Senior Undersecretary after all," Professor Gaunt complimented the rude guest, who failed to pick up on his sarcasm and smiled sweetly, the deployment of a swift Silencing Charm from Professor Gaunt being the only thing standing between the class's laughter and Umbridge's ears.
"We have spent the year covering just how to draw your magic up from within, using intent to shape your spells and thus be prepared to perform perfectly on your exams. Should we test one of our students' aptitude for what they have learned, Madam Umbridge?"
"That would be a good idea, Professor Gaunt, how about this one?" She pointed directly at Dudley, who put on a show of seeming terrified at the prospect of performing on the spot.
"Mr Dursley, if you would come up to the front of the class, with your course book if you please, and perform the Tongue-Tying Jinx for us."
Dudley rose from his seat and slowly walked forward, earning a comment of "Today would be nice" from Umbridge, who smirked at the back of his head. Once he stood up at the front and was staring back at the class, all of whom he was on at least good terms with, Dudley found it hard to act nervous, ironically becoming nervous about his acting skills. He pulled out his wand and made a show of reading the segment of his book on how to bring forth his magic and cast the Jinx, taking a deep breath and looking subtly over to the Professor, who gently shook his head, and "failed" to cast the spell on his first attempt. He saw Umbridge's face grow more smug and heard her snort in amusement.
"Try again," she said happily, locking eyes with Dudley; if looks could kill then Dudley would have dropped dead on the spot. Not breaking eye contact with the spiteful bitch, Dudley felt a spike of rebellion and defiance, casting the spell perfectly at her, making a show to apologise profusely. In an attempt to appease the pink lady, Dudley earned detention from Professor Gaunt, which seemingly satisfied her for now.
"I think more practice is needed before June arrives, wouldn't you agree?" Professor Gaunt asked Dolores, who slowly nodded in response.
/_-^_^_-_/
All day people had been coming up to Dudley and congratulating him on his performance in Defence, with more people coming up to him after having lessons with her around and experiencing the joy that was Umbridge. The Twins had even given him some miscellaneous joke items, with both of them immediately taking a dislike to the strict unlikeable Ministry hag.
Dudley didn't wish to get involved any more than he already had, not wanting to paint a larger target on his back. He kept that mindset up for all of three days when Elias ran up to Harry and him crying, having been in a detention that she had hijacked. He had been made to write lines with a blood quill, a sentence that immediately drew the interest of nearly everyone in the Slytherin common room, all of whom found the addition of Umbridge to be particularly aggravating; add into that the mixture the disgusting implementation of a blood quill and you had something not seen in decades, a fully united Slytherin house.
They planned the downfall of Umbridge with joy, with the first step being in the detention Dudley had for his "attack" on Umbridge.
/&-_^_/
Dudley walked into his detention, which was predictably led by Umbridge. He was told to pick up the same quill that Elias had used and to write "I shall not attack the Ministry" a hundred times, or until the message sank in.
The quill was red and cold to the touch, with red ink flowing from it upon each stroke, it glided across the parchment without effort, Dudley could have enjoyed it if it wasn't for the fact that it became carved into his left hand as he wrote with his right. He wrote without flinching, his expression remaining neutral throughout the entire detention, long after the words had cut deep enough for blood to flow freely and completely stain the parchment. The sight of this, as well as Dudley's unbreaking eye contact with Umbridge, was enough to unsettle her enough for her to forcefully dismiss him, her eyes moving to the puddle of blood and not leaving.
As Dudley left the room and rounded the corner, getting maybe twenty feet away, he transformed back into a lifeless dummy after the real Dudley stopped controlling it, stepping out of the small classroom he had sat in with the Twins, Harry, and Elias.
"A genius use of our Dummy-Decoy if I do say so myself- I agree, Forge, truly inspired," the Twins commented as they picked up the now shrunken dummy, the most sophisticated version yet, and they made their way down to the Slytherin common room. It was a testament to the hatred for Umbridge that the Weasley twins were allowed in the one place they hadn't been able to access before.
They watched the memory projected out the top of a Pensieve, with a shared feeling of disgust with just how calmly "Dudley" mutilated himself. The one thing that made such a grotesque display worthwhile was the shuddering from Umbridge and her overall terror. Dudley would walk around with a glamour on his hand, which would be the hand he wrote with as the Dummy-Decoys had the annoying side effect of mirroring the person they copied.
/_-^_^_-/
"Mr Dursley, I would like to talk to you for a moment," Professor Lupin cornered him before the end of a duelling lesson, waiting to continue until everyone had departed.
"What's up, Professor?" Dudley asked, already suspecting the reason and putting his hand in his pocket, trying to play up his discomfort. Professor Lupin waved his wand, casting privacy charms before he began.
"That Umbridge woman has tortured you, literally tortured you, and you're asking me what is up? I asked Madame Pomfrey at the Hospital Wing, because surely after such a traumatic event you would have checked in there, but you can imagine my surprise to find out that you haven't been to see her. So I checked with Professor Snape, just in case you would rather deal with him, and he reported that not only have you not been to see him, but that no healing potions have been stolen, nor have the ingredients to make them. Do you want to explain why your hand is all mangled and you intend to write with it, are you a masochist?"
"No, but-"
"Then explain this to me, honestly if you're trying to prove a point-"
"Finite," Dudley interrupted, revealing his perfectly intact hands and stopping the very worried man in his tracks.
"Merlin, Dudley, do you know how worried I've been? I was prepared to stun you and forcibly apply healing balms and make you drink healing potions."
"Relax, Professor Lupin, you sound like a mother hen."
"If it means the safety of my students, I'll be mother hen every day."
"If that's all I'll be going, Professor Wolf-Hen," Dudley joked as he left, earning an exasperated sigh from the duelling Professor.
As he walked, Dudley had no idea he was being silently watched.
/_-^_^-_-_/
"Normally your Head of House would be doing this, however as that Umbridge lady is poking her nose into every lesson, with Potions being her current focus, I feel that today is the best time to discuss this with you all," Professor McGonagall began, pausing to take in the faces of her students.
"Your O.W.L. examinations will be here next month, and so this meeting is to talk over any career ideas you might have, and to help you decide which subjects you should continue into the sixth and seventh years. Here at Hogwarts, your study is almost entirely Academic, hence the title of Wizard, however, you could go onto become a Witch, with a focus on the body and healing. A Warlock is a fierce warrior and defender, while Sorcerer is the name we give to those who spend their lives working under a master until they themselves are the master and can dedicate a large section of their lives pushing the boundaries of magic. There are still other titles you can pursue, such as Conjurer, Artificer, and many more. These are not your only options in life, many who pursue these disciplines usually value magic and spirituality more than they do a normal life, while those who don't wish to follow that path can choose a Ministry role, a place in the Wizarding World equivalent of an Army, also known as the Royal Wizarding Defence Force." McGonagall paused again as a few hands raised.
"I didn't know there was a wizard army, are they not just a division of the British Army?" Dudley questioned, earning a few murmurs of agreement.
"That wouldn't work, Wizards alongside Muggles, they have no defence against magic. There are spells to excite gunpowder, and wards to prevent any combustion or even sparks that would make their guns ineffective. Alas, they can shoot a bullet in the same amount of time I can shoot off a spell so maybe it isn't as cut and dry. Of course with the invention of bombs that could decimate our numbers and chemical weapons that could wipe us out, there is just no good way we unite our two worlds. Now, let us narrow down which careers interest the majority of the class and speak on them."