Police Academy Trailer
Everybody was ecstatic as they talked about The Avengers and how their adventures would go, their teamwork and their weapons although that conversation was led by Ruby and Summer. Bill snapped his fingers which echoed throughout the room, gaining their attention.
"You guys done? Because I already have the next one prepared." Bill said as he shook the remote in front of them.
"Sorry but The Avengers were just so cool." Ruby said and cheers of agreement rang out.
"Please tell me they come back?" Yang asked.
"Well there are a lot of things from Marvel that are still to be shown so I guess you'll just have to wait and see." Bill said.
"Oh this just keeps getting better and better." Mercury said.
"I hope I have a cool Marvel version of myself." Cardin muttered.
"So what's the next one about?" Glynda asked.
"Yes you did say that you were gonna take us back to 1984." Winter said.
"What a time to be alive." Ozpin said with a nostalgic smile.
"Indeed. The sights, the culture," Salem listed.
"The weed." Salem and Ozpin both said together with reminiscent smiles as everyone looked at them in shock.
"Wait what?" Summer asked.
"So you said it was based in 1984?" Ozpin asked Bill.
"Ozpin what did you say about weed?" Ironwood asked.
"What is about Mr. Cypher?" Salem asked.
"I think they are blatantly ignoring us." Nicholas said.
"Ozpin!" Glynda shouted.
"We would surely like to know Bill." Ozpin said with a smile.
"They are!" Everyone besides the gods, Salem and Ozpin shouted.
Bill chuckled "Well you guys saw how superheroes got their footing so now I'm gonna show you how police officers get their footing."
"We're gonna watch one about cops?" Roman asked in disgust.
"EW!" Mercury shouted.
"Don't write it off just yet, it's much more amusing than you think." Bill said as he laughed at the craziness of this universe "I'll just let the universe speak for itself."
Bill started the trailer and teleported to his seat as the rest watched on though they did feel underwhelmed.
The trailer started by showing two men walking down the street as two other men approached them and one of the slapped the other's oranges away. This prompted a brawl and soon one of the men were thrown through a store window.
"Crime." Ironwood narrated "The city was full of it."
"Sounds like paradise." Emerald said with a dreamy sigh.
"Doing whatever you want, whenever you want sounds like a dream come true." Mercury said with a dreamy sigh of his own.
"This isn't gonna be like The Division is it?" Ruby asked worriedly.
"Oum I hope not." Saphron said.
"Hey! Free T.V'S" A man shouted as he held onto a T.V.
"You clearly stole it!" Glynda shouted.
"Does it count when it's during a riot?" Bill asked his fellow gods.
"Yes." Nanny Glynda responded.
"I don't really care." God Raven said with a shrug.
"Desperate measures were needed." Ironwood continued to narrate as men were shown stealing things from a vendor and each other.
Ruby giggled "Why does the general sound like those old crime show hosts."
"I think this entire universe is an old crime show." Yang chuckled at the absurdity of the crime she was seeing.
"I can tell this universe is a blast to be in." Nora said.
Mercury was shown in an interrogation room with Lionheart walking behind him.
"I want you to go to the Police Academy." Lionheart said as Mercury widened his eyes in shock and fear.
"WHAT!?" Mercury shouted.
Emerald burst out in laughter and soon his group followed as Roman pat him on the shoulder sympathetically.
"Now you know how I feel." Roman said but then he laughed with his finger pointed at Mercury's face.
"This could be a good thing," Ozpin said "Having a street savvy young man like Mr. Black may be the advantage the Police need."
"Oh boy are they in for some trouble." Qrow said with a chuckle.
Oobleck was shown carrying a case towards a car with Robyn in a night gown following him angrily.
"What the hell!?" Robyn exclaimed as some laughed.
"The Police Academy is such a dangerous place!" Robyn pleaded.
"Honey!" Oobleck said as he swiftly turned around and his case hit her in the crotch but then he turned back to his car "Don't worry."
"Pfft!" Raven laughed with a few others while Robyn shouted profanities at a fearful Oobleck.
"I can't believe I'm your fucking wife!" Robyn shouted.
"It's not like I chose this!" Oobleck defended.
"No but I can't yell at the other you so you're just gonna have to do! How could you treat me like that!? I'm just worried about you!" Robyn shouted.
"Wait is she mad at him or actually worried?" Scarlet asked.
"At this point man, I don't even know." Sun replied.
"Desperate measures were taken." Ironwood narrated as Oobleck got in the car but his door had hit Robyn in the head while she was on the ground.
"You son of a bitch!!" Robyn shouted as Amber and Willow held her back from trying to kill Oobleck.
"Quite a pickle you've gotten yourself into Oobleck." Ozpin said as he sipped his coffee.
"Sir with the outmost respect I could muster, shut it!" Oobleck shouted as he hid behind Port.
Port was shown floating in phone booth as he was looking up and mockingly laughing "I'm joining the police force! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"I don't have much faith in this new unit." Winter said.
"It's gonna take a miracle to train them into competent officers." Ironwood said.
Jacques was shown in a police uniform as Watts walked to a window next to him.
"The mayor says we have to take this riffraff." Watts said.
Mercury was shown with wide eyes in a uniform of his own "I'm trapped here?"
"Now become a responsible member of society." Cinder said with a smile as she tried to hold in her laughter.
"Don't forget to pay your taxes." Emerald joined in.
"Always stop at a red light." Militia said.
"And go slowly and carefully at green." Melanie said.
"Look both ways when crossing the street." Junior said.
"Don't do anything I would do." Roman said.
'Follow all the rules young man!' Neo wrote with a silent giggle.
Mercury covered his ears as he let out a sad shout "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"
"Well yes, we all are." Ozpin said to Mercury.
"Head of the Police Academy…it will be a challenge but I'm sure we can do it." Ozpin said.
"Good luck." Ironwood said.
"What about guns? When do we get guns?" Ruby asked desperately as she stood in front of a line.
"That was the first thing you said when you got to Signal!" Yang exclaimed with a laugh as Ruby blushed.
"I wasn't that bad." Ruby said.
"You're right, you were worse!" Qrow exclaimed as he joined Yang in the laughter as Ruby glared at them with a pout.
"You will be schooled in firearms." Ozpin said as Port was shown cocking a shot gun and walking through an area with an examinee while the others watched from the back.
But after one step, Port fired the shotgun and it hit a picture of a little girl. Port stared at the picture as he turned around with the shotgun pointing at his class as they all ducked for cover.
"Police procedure, local laws and many, many other things." Ozpin explained.
"I will not be trusting that man with my life!" Weiss shouted.
Some laughed at the ridiculous display and the lack of awareness that Port had.
"That buffoon would never survive in our world." Port said with a grumpy humph.
The group was shown writing things down in class as Jacques was shown what seemed to be almost gibberish on the board.
"He's my teacher!? So for Night School, Arc gets the Raven babe and I get a decrepit old man!?" Mercury exclaimed indignantly.
"Sucks to suck doesn't it?" Emerald asked with an amused smile as Mercury drowned his sorrows in popcorn.
"I should not have such a useless job." Jacques said angrily "Only useless people would fail at being an officer of the law."
"High speed driving," Jacques listed as he was shown riding a motorcycle at high speeds towards the back of a carriage. He smirked as he sped up but a car suddenly drove up in front of him and he hit the back as the bike launched him towards the carriage and into a horse's ass as citizens cringed.
"Sweet Grimm!" Salem exclaimed as she burst out in laughter and soon the whole theater joined in.
"I know you always wanted to do butt stuff Jacques but this is a little extreme." Willow said with a giggle which caused them to laugh even harder.
"You did not just shove your head up a horse's buttocks!?" Ozpin exclaimed as he laughed.
"How dare you!? How dare you all!?" Jacques shouted.
"Your dad looks like he needs some 'ass'istance Weiss." Yang joked as she laughed.
"N-Not even that horrible pun could ruin what I just saw." Weiss said as she laughed as well.
"And self-defense." Jacques listed as Kali was shown in sweatpants and a white shirt, training the rookies. She kicked a fallen Port over and sat on his neck, he widened his eyes as he looked up to her breasts.
Everyone was shocked to see this and an enraged Ghira clenched his fists angrily with a growl but he was soon soothed by Kali a she rubbed his back delicately.
"Oh mom…" Blake face-palmed.
"I need a volunteer." Kali said as she looked at the rest of the class and all the men shouted and raised their arms.
"If any of you touch my wife, I'll make sure you won't leave to see the next day! Understood!?" Ghira shouted at the men with a growl.
"Yes sir…" Jaune squeaked as the rest of the men nodded fearfully.
"Oh sweetie, you know it was all harmless fun." Kali said with a giggle.
"I wish I had someone who could fight for me like that." Sienna mumbled sadly.
"Are you alright ma'am?" Adam asked.
"I'm fine." Sienna said with fake smile.
Targets were shown being shot at as the title was shown over them.
POLICE ACADEMY
"Seems fitting." Watts said.
"A bit miniscule to the rest but it works." Yatsuhashi said.
A target was shown getting blown to bits and Ruby was shown to be the one who shot at it with her gun as Jacques was shocked.
Most jaw-dropped while her family groaned or sighed.
"Only Ruby…" They said as the girl ignored them and drooled at the sight of the weapon.
"Where did you get this gun?" Jacques asked as he pointed at the gun.
Ruby smiled dumbly "My mom gave it to me."
"Yeah that seems about right." Taiyang said.
"She did always have the biggest guns." Qrow said but soon he was punched by a blushing Summer.
"You pervert!" Summer shouted as she folded her arms angrily with a pout.
'I don't think that's what he meant.' Everyone thought with a sweat drop.
"They're lean." Ironwood narrated.
"I am warning you Hazel!" Jacques shouted as Hazel was shown lifting up a police car and flipping it over.
"Why would you flip over the car?" Militia asked.
Hazel shrugged as Tyrian cackled.
"I'll tell you why, Fuck the police! Am right buddy?" Tyrian asked as Hazel just grunted and this caused Tyrian to laugh even more.
"Mean." Ironwood continued.
A group of thugs were shown standing next to the police car Oobleck was in as he looked at them nervously.
"Does the radio bother you?" Oobleck asked the thugs nervously as they stared at him "I can turn it down."
"What a wimp!" Junior exclaimed.
"I don't think you're cut out for narrating Ironwood." Qrow said with an amused smirk.
"Obscene." Ironwood continued.
Kali was shown ripping away Sun's robes as she ripped her shirt open to reveal her bra.
Everyone jaw dropped as Sun let down a waterfall of tears at what he saw.
"Sun's a dead man." Ruby said.
"Goodnight you little sunlight." Yang said depressingly.
Everyone looked towards Ghira and they weren't surprised but still fearful to see his eyes dilated and his fangs prominent as he let out an animalistic roar and was about to launch at Sun but he was soon frozen in place by Nanny Glynda.
"I understand your frustrations sir but bloodbaths will not be tolerated in here…anymore." Nanny Glynda said.
"What have you done to him?" Kali asked in shock.
"He's fine, just frozen. I'll unfreeze him when he's calm." Nanny Glynda said.
"Each and every one of them strive to defend." Ironwood narrated.
Two officers in helmets were shown running past Whitley who was also in a helmet but he was going the opposite way, he soon turned around when an angry mob was chasing them.
"So the people they're supposed to defend are trying to kill them?" Glynda asked.
"Looks like it." Winter replied as Ironwood face-palmed.
Glynda sighed "Just checking."
"You make me sick." Jacques said to Mercury.
"Thank you sir, I make everybody sick." Mercury replied.
Emerald giggled as Mercury laughed at that and some were amused by his lack of respect.
"These cops are crazy." Roman said with a laugh.
Mercury stood behind Pryyha with a smirk on his face.
"Let's see the thighs." Mercury said as Pryyha widened her eyes.
"What!?" Jaune exclaimed.
"This is perfect!" Yang laughed.
"I will not!" Pryyha shouted as she covered her own thighs.
Pryyha was about to say something but Mercury beat her to the punch "C'mon! C'mon! I haven't got all day, the thighs."
Pyrrha grit her teeth and slowly bent over.
"Oh heavens no!" Pyrrha exclaimed.
"Mercury!!" Jaune shouted angrily.
"I didn't do anything Arc, if anything. Blame the extremely handsome version of me." Mercury said as he held in a laugh.
Some laughed while some of the teens held in a laugh to not face Jaune's wrath.
"Now that they're ready for the real world," Ironwood continued as Fox was shown in a police car with Ozpin and Mercury as they were surrounded by a mob.
Fox brought the microphone to his mouth and mad machine gun sounds which caused the mob to immediately run from the car.
"Smart tactic." Ozpin commended.
"You're just looking for something good they did aren't you?" Glynda asked.
"I am really reaching out here Glynda." Ozpin said with a sigh.
"I didn't know you could do that." Coco said to Fox who shrugged.
"I joust to beatbox back before Beacon." Fox replied.
"Crime is no longer the number one problem." Ironwood said as Ruby was shown entering a person's lawn and she approached an old woman.
"Can you get my kitty cat out of the tree?" the old woman asked desperately.
"Oh no…" Blake said with wide eyes.
"Not that gun nut!" Roman shouted.
Ruby nodded "No problem ma'am."
Ruby soon pulled out a pistol and turned off the safety and the screen showed the title as gun shots were heard.
POLICE ACADEMY
"You are never becoming a police woman." Summer said to Ruby.
"Aww man!" Ruby complained.
Bill teleported to the front as he looked at them.
"What'd you think of the police of Vale in 1985?" Bill asked.
"They're crazy!" Weiss shouted.
"Was the entire town this crazy during that time?" Jaune asked.
'Yes' Ozpin and Salem thought with smirks.
"I guess." Bill said with a shrug.
"Sun respect but you're still dead." Neptune said.
"Can we please just move on." Sun said emotionlessly.
"Please!" Pryyha shouted as she wanted to get away from this universe as much as possible.
"Fine, we'll go on to the next one." Bill said.
"Thank you!" Sun and Pyrrha exclaimed.
"Don't worry though, the next one is gonna show you what happens when an unexpected hero rises to save his chaotic world." Bill said.