Aviantei

By: Aviantei

Part Fifty-One: Resolve

How the hell did we end up like this again?

Hao hadn't been kidding when he'd mentioned relocating to the Patch settlement for the evening. Ivy just hadn't expected that they'd be using the same inn that the Five Warriors were using. It made sense in some ways: Hao wasn't the type to pass up taunting his opponents, plus there was an outdoor bath involved. Where else would he even have considered going?

Still, this is awkward.

Wanting to feel clean after a few messy days' worth of no bathing had driven her to the outdoor hot springs. Getting to use actual soap to wash herself down felt like an indulgent luxury. Issebella, Kaede, and Opacho had joined her, but it wasn't too long before the women's side of the bath had filled up with a few more bodies.

Most notably, Anna, Tamao, and Ren's sister Jun. The one thing that could have made things worse would be if the Iron Maiden had joined them, but it seemed Jeanne was unaccustomed to bathing with others.

As it turned out, Issebella had gotten to know Jun during her excursion the previous day, and the two were having a casual chat while Tamao nodded on the sidelines. Kaede looked at absolute peace, all but the uppermost portion of her head above water, though every now and then her green eyes opened to cast a glance in Issebella's direction. Opacho, unflappable in a way that only young children could be and with her hair wrapped up, swam across the non-occupied water with a smile.

"If you stay so tense, you're never going to be able to enjoy the bath to its fullest."

Ivy thought that was rich, coming from Anna, with her resting look of apathy, but didn't bother to say so. "Are you telling me that you don't find this situation the slightest bit awkward?"

Anna shrugged, her thin shoulders sending ripples across the water. "At this point, it's not like anything's going to change whether you all stay here or not," she said, sounding as matter of fact as ever. "If Hao didn't want to follow the rules of the Shaman Fight, he would have taken everyone out when they were all gathered for the opening ceremonies or when they were on the Patch Jumbo Jet." It was a fair point; the main reason he hadn't done those things was because going through the stages of the Shaman Fight would help make Yoh stronger. Anna gave Ivy a deadpanned stare. "You sure do like to talk big for someone that broke down crying in front of the whole stadium earlier."

Ivy winced but didn't retreat. Though part of her felt somewhat ashamed that she hadn't kept her composure, the crying had left her feeling too light to care in the long run. If she couldn't lose her cool then, when the hell else was she ever going to be able to show emotion like that?

"I find it interesting that you would even care," Ivy said. In her few encounters with Anna, she'd shown herself to be willful, blunt, and just a touch violent. Even putting the jealousy in her heart aside, Ivy wasn't so sure their personalities were compatible enough to get along.

"I never said I did. Just making an observation." Anna looked over the others just in time to see Kaede yank Issebella by the hair to get her out of Jun's personal space. "The rest of you are noisy, but at least they know how to relax. One person stewing in the bath makes the whole thing worse for everyone else. If you want to sulk, go do it where you won't bother anyone else."

Ivy harrumphed, not intending to lose a battle of wills. "I think I'll stay, thanks. If you're so sensitive to be impacted by someone else, maybe you're the one who should go somewhere—"

There was a massive crash from the next area over, and the pulse of mana and the call of fire signaled that someone had chosen to activate their Over Soul. The signature wasn't Hao, but instead Lyserg, which meant that Hao had chosen to join the boys in the next area over. Feeling Lyserg's mana again was a relief in itself, and Ivy started to smile, even as the signature energy of Raven formed in retaliation.

Both Over Souls lasted for several moments—until they collapsed without clashing, and things settled down. Anna muttered something to the effect of "Men can't ever just talk about their feelings without being violent first." Ivy wasn't sure there was going to be much talking about feelings going on over there, but Hao had had another reason for coming here.

It'll be much easier for us to push away the humans if we all stand united.

For one morning, for a few hours, they would all be allies.

And with that thought to warm her heart, Ivy sunk deeper into the water and watched the steam drift upwards and thread between the stars above.

Despite having burnt off a substantial chunk of energy in helping Yoh fight Team The Ren earlier, Lyserg still felt restless. Sharing a bath with Hao of all people had keyed up his nerves to their limits, and everyone else was similarly unnerved—especially by the news that they would need to fight humans before they could go to Mu. Not wanting to be in the oppressive atmosphere of the room they'd settled down to discuss things in, Lyserg had let himself wander about the halls of the Patch Inn, as if it would do anything to settle him enough to sleep.

It didn't do much to quell his thoughts, though. He may have tempered his hatred into something controllable, but there was always the risk with fire that it would burn hotter than expected and launch itself back towards you. You couldn't control an emotion like that, or it would backlash at you. You needed to process it and work with it to find the right answer.

Anger is an indication that you've had something important taken away from you, Pascal Abaj had said. You need to learn how to harness that instinct better so that it doesn't control you instead.

Lyserg thought that he'd made a lot of progress on that front—Mastema Dolkeem was a physical manifestation of such. And yet he'd still lashed out the moment Hao had entered his radar. Yes, he'd calmed down, but the pulse of emotion had launched him into action. He was still too impatient, and there wasn't enough time to be reacting like that.

A sigh spilling from his lips, Lyserg plopped down on a nearby bench in the hall. He'd been too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice that someone else was nearby, and with a start he recognized Ivy placing coins into a Patch vending machine. They exchanged surprised glances, and Ivy's shoulders tensed. For the first time since their conversation in the Patch Village's café, she looked ill at ease, thoughts he couldn't even begin to decipher the thoughts brewing in her mind.

What felt like an eternity passed, and then she turned back to the vending machine. For a moment, Lyserg thought she was going to ignore him, but then she opened her mouth to speak: "If you want nothing to do with me, that's fine. But if you're willing to talk, then I'll talk." Her voice was subtle, subdued, nothing like the mocking tones of their last conversation. She glanced to Lyserg with a sad smile playing on her lips. "I promise I won't run away this time."

"I…" Lyserg folded his hands in his lap and shoved his personal concerns to the back of his mind for the time being. There would be plenty of time to think later; who knew when the next time he'd be able to talk to Ivy after leaving for Mu would be? "I would like that."

Relief slipped into Ivy's expression, and she hit a few buttons on the vending machine, sending two thunks to the bottom. Once she'd collected them, she came to sit on the same plush seat as Lyserg and offered him one of the cans of juice. "Here."

"Ah, no, you don't need to do that—"

"You paid for me. Back in the Patch Village. Not to mention I put you through a lot of unnecessary junk. Take it." Issebella's the one who's paying for this anyways, she added. Knowing full well that Ivy wouldn't back down, Lyserg accepted the drink, condensation already forming on the aluminum. Satisfied, Ivy cracked open her own drink and took a sip. "I can understand if you don't want to hear this. And I probably shouldn't be saying this. But I'm glad you're alive."

After being on the receiving end of her frustration and forced disinterest for the past few days, it was refreshing to hear it; she sounded the same as she had back when they first met. It may have been presumptuous of Lyserg to say so, but he felt that this was the real her.

"I…" Lyserg hesitated, because he wasn't sure how Ivy would react once he said it. "I'm glad you're safe, too. When I heard what happened on the beach, I was worried that you'd gotten caught up in it."

Ivy gave one of those small smiles. "Neither of us is really good at representing our side in this war, are we?" That may have been true, but in this moment, it didn't matter. With both of them clad in the yukata from the inn, their allegiances weren't obvious at all. They were just two teenagers having a chat. "I tried so hard to treat you and Ren like enemies, but I just can't do it." She stared down at her juice can, her voice a whisper. "You're both too important to me."

Lyserg felt his mouth go dry, and he opened his own juice for a drink. It had been one thing for Mya to say something to the effect; it was another matter entirely to hear it from Ivy herself. Once again, Lyserg wanted to ask the extent to which that care went, but it didn't seem appropriate in the moment. Instead, he said, "I heard you fought Hao."

"I did."

She said it so simply that Lyserg wondered why he'd even asked. No, that wasn't true; he knew the reason. Because when he'd first heard the news, he'd had some vague hope that their battle had been a show of defiance on Ivy's part, though he wasn't sure how likely that was, either.

"I said this whole pretty speech about how it was to help Hao-dono show off his power, but it was just for my own self-satisfaction," Ivy said. "I'm sure you know what it's like when you feel so weak." Lyserg nodded; both of them had to be thinking of the same parallel moments in their lives. "That's what it was like back then for me. I was so scared of everything, but I didn't want to show it. Because being vulnerable with my parents was why losing them hurt so much. So I tried to fill myself up with strength, but I was never satisfied. I guess I just wanted the opportunity to go all out, to prove that I'm not that scared little kid anymore. And after I beat Ander and Xin-He, I couldn't think of anyone else powerful enough to test that strength against. Hao-dono let me do that."

"What was it like?" Lyserg asked. He'd just missed arriving to watch their match and had only heard secondhand from Ren and the others. "I saw his armored Over Soul for a moment, and it seemed…"

"It's power is incredible." Ivy said it like a pure fact, but her eyes held a light of excitement that Lyserg wasn't used to seeing in her. "I could barely do a thing against it. Sure, I didn't go down right away, but that's only because I had Mya and Xin-Zi and the elements watching out for me. I certainly couldn't make any headway against it. Then again, that may just be a more personal problem. A fight between shamans always comes down to the heart, doesn't it?"

My heart couldn't ever seriously fight Hao, she was saying.

Lyserg nodded, his eyes tracing the few drops of juice that had gotten stuck in the rim of the can, near fluorescent red against silver. "And what about before?" he asked, his voice even quieter.

As someone who had walked a path so close to his, Ivy knew what he was talking about without any needed elaboration. "It didn't register at first." Every bit of her had gone still, save for her lips. "Fighting Ander felt like some far-off dream. Since Xin-He had been the real cause of everything, that felt a little bit more cathartic, but it doesn't fix anything in the end. Mǔqīn and Fùqīn are still gone. I can't get any of what I lost then back."

It wasn't the answer that Lyserg wanted to hear. Even more so, he could tell it wasn't the answer that Ivy had wanted to hear, either. For both of them, vengeance had been a driving force in their lives. There was never another alternative. And yet, at the end of the day, it didn't look like it had brought any satisfaction.

If you hurt people, they'll hurt you back.

Anger is an indication that you've had something important taken away from you.

Lyserg sighed and leaned back in the seat, letting his head gently thump against the wall. "I've been thinking a lot about what justice means. After everything I've seen, I'm not so sure that killing is the answer." Seeing the pain that death could cause, seeing how people struggled to retaliate for those they cared about—it all seemed like too much sometimes. "But I also don't think that wiping out humans is the right answer, either. So I need to be able to stop Hao."

"Well, I'm not someone worthy of saying what's just and what's not." They get themselves in danger, and I've needed to keep living, she'd said, months ago, an admission of her own sins. "But I am someone selfish enough to say that I wish you wouldn't have to kill." She took another drink, but Lyserg noticed that her fingers were trembling. "This isn't just because I want Hao-dono to be safe. It's because, if at all possible, you're someone that I don't want to see bear the burden of taking someone's life. You…still have that choice." With a sigh of her own, she stood, crunching her now empty can in her hands. "If I stay out too long, Issebella's going to get extra annoying, and I don't want to put up with that. Are you fine with me going for now?"

It was only when she'd asked for permission that Lyserg recognized that she was making good on her promise not to run away. He nodded, and Ivy dipped her head in a quick bow. "Thank you," Lyserg said, almost stuttering over the words. "For talking to me. I missed it. Your company." Though he'd had the accompaniment of the X-Laws for the past two months, conversations with Ivy were different, more calming.

"You really are too kind," she said, almost too quiet for him to hear. But then she gave that smile, the one that twisted his stomach into several knots so tight there was no chance of untangling them. "But I missed talking with you, too."

Feeling so at ease was such a foreign concept to Ivy that it was almost enough to set her at unease all over again. Save for holding off the approaching humans so that they couldn't interfere with the journey to Mu for the next section of the Shaman Fight, she didn't have to fight anymore. Everything else, from here on out, would be in the hands of others, the last twelve participants in the tournament.

Her choices weren't going to change anything.

It was liberating and terrifying all at once.

Though she'd stepped away from Lyserg with every intention of heading back to the room where she'd be sleeping, she hadn't returned yet. Getting some proper rest may prove a challenge, but mitigating more of Issebella's pestering on why she'd taken so long to go get a drink was preferable. With her emotions swinging back and forth, though, she ended up outside the inn instead, sitting on the edge of the porch and listening.

The night itself was peaceful, and the elements were a soft song beneath it, for once not kicked up in a frenzy. There were still calls of her elemental name here and there, yes, but overall she got the melodies of the world as it was; the steady earth beneath her with accents of metal, the trees rustling in the breeze, the faint thrum of the small pond and somewhat more energetic hot springs nearby. It was such a similar melody to the one around her parents' home that Ivy thought she might cry.

"There you are, Aviantei."

Ivy slowly opened her eyes, not surprised by Hao's approach. What was more surprising, however, was his attire: at some point he'd procured a red tracksuit, complete with a star emblem over his left breast. He'd also tied his hair up into a high ponytail, something that Ivy hadn't seen him do in years. It suited him too well, and Ivy felt herself staring for far longer than was acceptable under any means.

Hao didn't seem to mind, dropping himself down into a sit beside her and closing his eyes. The end of his ponytail curled against the porch like a snake coming to rest, and an all-too familiar aroma of burning wood now accentuated with the inn's soap reached her. "They do sound nice tonight, don't they?" Hao said. "Though we have an upset approaching, the world itself just goes on, without any concern for us. Nature's rather admirable like that. It's a reminder that it doesn't need us to get in its way."

Ivy nodded, forcing herself to close her eyes and slip back into paying attention to the world around her. Even so, she was hyperaware of Hao by her side, likely because this, too, was one of the final moments they'd be able to have like this. "I still like the way it sounds, anyways," Ivy said. No matter what, she was certain that she'd always look forward to hearing that melody. "Hao-dono. I know there's not much else I can do to help you with the Shaman Fight. But I promise I won't let the humans get in your way."

She couldn't guarantee being able to raise a hand against Lyserg or Ren, but she could promise that much, even if it would be the last thing she could do.

"As reliable as ever." Hao's chuckle added another musical lilt to the air. "Well, I suppose I shouldn't interrupt your time to yourself. I just wanted to make sure you were ready for tomorrow, though I needn't have worried about you." The porch creaked the slightest amount as he stood. For a moment, Ivy considered reaching out to him, to have his company a bit longer, but she didn't do it. She'd asked enough of him already. "If you happen to need me, I'll be with Yoh. Rest well, Aviantei."

"Good night, Hao-dono."

Just as quickly as he'd arrived, he was gone, but his presence hadn't vanished. The elements hummed in the faint tune that was his, and Ivy could still catch his aroma in the air. She didn't want to forget what it felt like to be close to him: the way his voice sounded, the way he moved, the faintly calloused touch of his fingers, the warmth of his body in the hug he'd given her, the sheer warmth that spread through her chest whenever he called her elemental name, the press of his lips against hers—

What.

Ivy tried not to panic as she reassessed her memory, but it was in fact there, along with the other bits of recollection connected to it, the hole in her brain filled in at last. She'd gotten jealous after his interaction with Anna, they'd arrived in the Patch Village, and, after she'd gone to heal the bruise on his cheek, he'd made a joke, and she had kissed Asakura Hao—

Her entire body felt very weak, and Ivy collapsed back on the inn's porch unable to do anything but let her heart race out of control and stare at the ceiling above her.

"Idiot."

Aviantei's thoughts were loud enough that Hao could hear them without even being in the same room, and he smiled a bit from his futon besides Yoh's. She'd managed to remember before Hao was to leave tomorrow, which meant he wouldn't have to do anything drastic to ensure that she did.

Even so, the timing felt unfortunate. Because he could tell that Aviantei was changing. She was starting to allow others to connect to her, to care for her. With her memory back, maybe she'd even recognize that her feelings weren't unrequited. But even if she did, would that be for the best?

She doesn't want to hurt anyone else. She understands that people like Tao Ren and Lyserg Diethel are important to her. Being around the two boys had been enough to tell that they felt similarly, though whether the feelings were more of friendship or of romantic leanings was still in development. It didn't matter. They could offer her a kind of compassion that Hao himself wasn't capable of providing, because there weren't any walls between them. They, at the very least, wouldn't ask Aviantei to do anything cruel for their sake.

That's her decision to make, not mine, Hao told himself. He would never deny Aviantei the opportunity to find the life she wanted. If she decides to come talk to me about her memory, I'll tell her the truth of why I did what I did. And if she still accepts that, I'll make sure she's there in the new world. I'll do whatever it takes to protect her happiness and the trust she's put in me. And if not…

In a room too dark for anyone to see, Hao's usual smile slipped into a frown.

If she didn't want to cross that line with him, then he'd let her go.

[Author's Notes]

Gotta have some calmness before we hit the final action, yeah? I got to have a lot of fun scenes when dealing with the Patch Inn content, so I hope the same was true for you readers~.

Thanks to LyriaHart for your regular review. Hopefully you enjoyed most of your predictions about this chapter being correct, haha.

If you haven't seen the new PV for the 2021 anime, you should check it out. I'm hyped about all the manga panels animated and looking super pretty! April 1, here we come!

Whoops, Ivy finally got her repressed memories back, oh no...

Next Time - Part Fifty-Two: "Mayday." Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[03.06.2021]