This chapter is much longer than the last ones.

Dick: yeah, and at least you didn't start writing the wrong chapter.

F*ck you.

Jason: SEE?! We get censored!

Even me? I was the one censoring YOU last time.

Jason: I f*cking knew it!

Does that mean we can say whatever we want to up here?

Jason: I think so.

F*ck.

Jason: f*ck.

Sh*t.

Jason: B**tc.

Whoah. That one came out of nowhere.

Dick: how's about you guys both stop?

Dick resisted the urge to shout, at the top of his lungs, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, o let down your hair!" Then throw a pillow at Damian. It took a lot of willpower, but he did it. He cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Rapunzel," he repeated.

Once upon a time, there was a lovely couple who lived in the-

"Steph isn't here, is she?" Tim asked. Everyone shook their heads. Tim nodded. "Alright, this means that someone needs to complain for her, since she isn't here to do it herself."

There was quiet murmuring amongst the boys before Jason sat back with a sigh.

"I suppose," he said. Tim snickered slightly and leaned on him. Damian folded his arms across his chest and glared when Jason put his arm around him, not saying a word. Dick felt his phone vibrate again and tried his hardest not to smile.

They lived in the woods.

Jason groaned as loud and obnoxious as he could. It made Dick, Tim, and Damian burst into laughter.

That particular couple wasn't important enough to be named. One day, the wife discovered she was preganet.

"Are you physically incapable of saying the word 'pregnant' or something?" Damian asked. Dick blinked slowly at him.

"I have no idea what you mean," he said. Damian rolled his eyes.

"Of course, you don't," he growled half-heartedly. "Please, continue."

Dick smirked at him and obliged.

"Oh, husbando, I am preganet!" she exclaimed.

Tim coughed to cover up his laughter. Jason patted him reassuringly on the back.

"What do you want ME to do about it?" her husband asked. She slapped him and looked out the window into the neighbor's yard. She eyed the rapunzels growing in the yard.

"'Rapunzels?" Duke asked. Tim nodded at him.

"Yeah," he said. "It's just lettuce."

"I thought it was cabbage?" Luke asked.

"I love how everyone is ignoring the fact that a well-established Disney princess is named after a vegetable," Jason interceded. Damian snorted and Kate burst into laughter. Dick cleared his throat, suppressing a smirk.

"Husbando," she said. Her husband gave a long-suffering sigh.

"Yes?" he asked. She glared at him.

"I want a rapunzel," she pouted. Her husband raised an eyebrow.

"But we don't have any rapunzels," he said. His wife pointed out the window.

"The neighbor does," she said. His eyes narrowed.

"You're really asking me to climb out the window, climb over the neighbor's fence, steal some of her rapunzel, and make it into a salad for you because, all of a sudden, you're nine months in?"

"Yes."

Jason and Kate snickered.

Her husband sighed again and did everything that he said he would. Before he could climb back over the fence to give her the rapunzel, a harsh voice stopped him. For shits and giggles, let's call her Nyssa.

"Jerk," Damian muttered. He probably would have said something stronger, but Alfred was always near. They got lucky with the last few stories. Dick pulled out his phone to text Bruce. He figured that the others would get into a conversation about Nyssa for a while.

And he was right, of course.

"Who?" Kate asked.

"My aunt," Damian said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. He leaned against Jason's arm facing her. Dick stuck his tongue out slightly as he texted Bruce.

Dick: Hey, B. What's up?

Bruce: can't talk rn. Death match.

Dick raised an eyebrow.

"She's an absolute a- "

"Alfred," Jason hissed, cutting him off. Damian sighed.

"I've disowned my mother, but my aunt was always dead to me."

"She was worse?" Duke asked.

"DEAD."

Dick: how'd you get involved in a death math?

Dick: MATCH. Damn autocorrect.

Bruce: idk I tried leaving and now I've offended some leader or something

Bruce: fhfoyebfskud

Dick: ?

Bruce: had to yell at someone real quick. Brb

Dick: um, ok?

Dick: you alright?

Dick grew a tad concerned when Bruce didn't text him back.

"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY IT? DEAD. D. E. A. D."

Dick decided to keep going with the story before there was a death match right there in the living room. He cleared his throat obnoxiously loud to get everyone's attention.

"Esqueeze me," Nyssa said.

Damian would have done the 'spit-out-water-because-shock' if he was drinking anything.

The husband sighed again and turned around to face her.

"Look my wife wanted some rapunzel, and we didn't have any," he explained. "I'll pay you back, or whatever."

Nyssa thought about this for a moment.

"Don't steal any of my rapunzel ever again," she said. She mumbled "andmaybesortagivemeyourfirstbornchildorwhatever." The husband rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, sure, deal," he said. He went back to his wife and made the salad.

He completely forgot to think about what Nyssa may have mumbled about. The wife ate, and she had a baby girl named Lian.

"Don't do this to Roy," Jason said. "He will never forgive you."

"Look, he has yet to forgive me for San Francisco," Dick said. His voice trailed off and he stared out the window into nothing. His eyes clouded over for a second. Duke turned to Jason worriedly.

"San Francisco?" he asked. Jason shrugged.

"Not sure," he said. "A lot of the stuff they did when Dick was Robin is a mystery to us."

"They once did something so bad that they got banned from the WatchTower," Tim pointed out. "Of course, no one on the League had the balls to follow through with it."

Dick seemed to snap himself out of his reverie. He cleared his throat as though nothing had happened.

Lian was born. Which, I suppose, would make the couple Roy and Jade…

Whatever.

Nyssa came along and snatched up the baby, claiming that Roy had agreed to it. Roy and Jade almost went in for the murder and the stabby-stab, but Nyssa got out first.

She knew that the two would come after their baby, so she hid the little girl away in a tower where no one could find it. She raised Lian all on her own. Thankfully, she didn't raise the baby to be an assassin.

Meanwhile, Roy and Jade went to visit Roy's maybe-dad, Ollie.

"Is his name actually Ollie?" Kate asked. Dick shrugged.

"It's actually Oliver," he said. "He hates being called Ollie."

"But he's never told you guys to stop?" Duke asked. Dick smirked at him. Tim sighed.

"It's like I said," he said. "They don't have the balls."

This warranted some laughter, mostly from Dick. When he finally got himself under control, he cleared his throat.

"Dad, dad!" Roy shouted. Ollie closed his eyes for a second, mentally preparing himself. He turned around and faced Roy.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"My daughter just got kidnapped by my neighbor!" Roy exclaimed. Ollie frowned slightly.

"Are you shitting me?" he asked. Roy shook his head.

"I do NOT joke about my daughter's safety," he said. Ollie nodded. There was no arguing with that logic.

He sent out his son, technically Lian's uncle… question mark… to find her. Considering the fact that he's, what… nine years older than her, so he was only nine when Ollie asked for his assistance in locating the small child…

Dick bit his lip slightly. He wasn't sure Ollie was the kind of person to enlist the help of a nine-year-old.

Then again, he had asked Dick for help plenty of times, even when he first became Robin. He sensed no problem here.

Nyssa took Lian deep into the woods, to a stone tower that was a hundred feet tall. She hid and raised the baby there.

Nyssa always made sure to cut Lian's hair. It made sense, since she didn't want anyone to come around and suddenly be able to climb up said hundred-foot-long-head-of-hair. Also, I want to point out that it's physically impossible for someone's hair to grow out that long without waiting there for over 6- years, and by then, the hair would be so nasty and heavy that her neck would snap.

Kate's eyes narrowed at this.

Instead of the girl being 16 or 18 when she's found, I'll make it so that 8 years pass. She's sitting in her Tower of Boredom, probably brushing her hair, when she hears some rustling sounds in the bushes at the bottom of the tower.

She peeked through the window, hoping against hope that she wasn't going crazy. When she looked out, she saw a person walking around, inspecting the base of the tower.

"Person!" Jason shouted.

"Ew," Tim said. Damian did another empty-mouth-spit-take.

Lian may have gotten a little too excited. She leaned as far out the window as she could and shouted at the top of her little 8-year-old lungs.

"HEY!"

Dick actually shouted, which made everyone jump.

The guy wandering the base of the tower jumped and looked upwards. Naturally, this person was the person we were all rooting for.

"The Chosen One?" Jason asked. Duke shook his head.

"Dear God, don't let it be Barry," he said. Dick smirked at him.

Nah, it wasn't Barry. He's done until I say otherwise.

No, it was Ollie's son, Conner.

Tim frowned. Dick cleared his throat.

"Ollie has a son and a daughter, the son's name being Conner, with an 'er' instead of an 'or' like with Clark's clone son Connor. They are completely different people, apart from the fact that both of them nearly almost killed me when I first met them," he explained. Jason tightened his arm around Damian's shoulder, which both boys had forgotten about.

"They did WHAT?" he demanded. Dick just shrugged.

"I don't know," he said. "I must be irresistible, if everyone wants to kill me."

Without even glancing at each other, Jason, Tim, and Damian agreed that Dick Grayson would be killed once the three of them were dead, brought back to life, and killed again. And even then, they would make you regret ever touching their brother.

Dick cleared his throat.

"Anyway…"

Conner called back up to Lian.

"HELLO! ARE YOU A SMALL CHILD WHO WAS KIDNAPPED EIGHT YEARS AGO?!"

"WHAT?!"

"WERE YOU KIDNAPPED?!"

"PROBABLY… WHY?!"

"BECAUSE I WANT TO RETURN YOU TO YOUR ACTUAL PARENTS!" Conner shouted up. "BUT I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE THE RIGHT KID!"

"THAT REQUIRES BEING KIDNAPPED?!"

"YES!"

"I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS KIDNAPPED, BUT I WOULDN'T MIND EBING KIDNAPPED NOW."

"WHY?!"

"BECAUSE THIS LADY LOCKED ME IN A FREAKING TOWER, YOU CRACKER! I WANT OUT!"

Dick coughed slightly and had to clear his throat. His shouting was starting to make it sore. He noticed how everyone was covering their ears and suppressed a smirk. Losing his voice would be SO worth it.

"WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!" Conner called up.

"LIAN!"

Conner smiled to himself and pumped his fist in the air.

"HEY, GUESS WHAT?!"

"WHAT?!"

"YOU'RE THE KID I'M LOOKING FOR!"

"SERIOUSLY?!"

"YEAH!"

"COOL!"

Lian looked around the tower for someth-ech.

Dick bent over slightly. Luke started sitting up in concern, but Dick waved him off.

"I'm fine," he said. "Too much shouting."

He caught Damian rubbing his ear. Worth it.

She looked around for something to toss down to Conner so that he could climb up and join her. She settled for tying a bunch of curtains together. She tossed it over the side and watched as Conner tried to climb up it.

In the original, the prince climbed up the hair and just visited. He kept visiting her until they fell in love. Then, Rapunzel pulled a stupid by mentioning the prince to the witch. She cut the hair, banned Rapunzel from the tower, tricked the prince into climbing up the hair, then pushed him out the window, causing him to fall into some thorns and go blind.

Everyone was giving him horrified looks. Dick just smiled casually at them all. His voice had turned a little raspy.

But, you know, I'm not gonna do it exactly like that. Instead, the witch is going to come home. He's gonna rush off and wait until she's gone and climb up a little more.

The last time he climbed up the curtains, Nyssa finally got suspicious.

"Lian?" she asked. Lian looked up at her.

"Yes?" she asked. Nyssa pointed at the curtains.

"Why are there a bunch of curtains tied together and draped over the windowsill?" she asked. Lian blinked innocently at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said.

"I love her, but she sucks at lying," Duke said. Everyone else nodded and agreed.

Nyssa sighed.

"There's a person coming up here, isn't there?" she asked. Lian swallowed, hoping in her innocent 8-year-old mind that she could get away with hiding the truth. Which she couldn't, but kudos to trying.

"N-no, there isn't," she insisted. Nyssa groaned.

"Ok, fine. Come here."

She tied Lian's hands behind her.

"And now, murder is an option," Jason said. Damian sighed.

"Unfortunately, Grayson would disapprove," he said. Dick nodded in agreement.

Conner climbed up the curtain and was horrified by the sight he saw. He saw Nyssa tying up Lian.

"Oh, hell no," he said. He went over there and kicked Nyssa's shins, punched her in the face, and grabbed Lian. He grabbed the curtain and jumped out the window, running as far away from the tower as he could manage. Nyssa, having been distracted by Lian, who was biting, was obviously very upset with herself for losing to a 17-year-old.

"Haha," Damian laughed sarcastically.

Before he left, he set the curtain on fire, so now, Nyssa was trapped inside the tower.

He returned Lian to her parents, who did NOT lock her in a tower, and they all lived Happily Ever After.

"The End," Dick said. He saw Kate pull out her phone, her eyes widening. She tapped on it a bit and then pocketed it again.

Dick pulled out his own phone.

"Talk amongst yourselves," he said. He downloaded the picture he had been sent from earlier and scrolled through his messages with Bruce.

Dick: um, ok?

Dick: you alright?

Bruce: yeah, I'm good.

Bruce: some douchebag tried to cut my head off earlier

Bruce: so I punched him in the face

Bruce: he was on my team and everything

Bruce: I don't understand why he tried to kill me

Bruce: that's not how death matches work

Bruce: idiot

Bruce: anyway, we're back on Earth. Want anything?

Dick decided to save his questions for later. Or never, whichever came first.

Dick: therapy.

Bruce texted him back immediately.

Bruce: lol, nice try

Bruce: you'll have to settle for chicken nuggets

Dick scoffed.

Dick: fine. But you have to sit beside Kate.

Bruce: ughhhhhhhhh

Bruce: fine

Bruce: I guess

Dick smiled to himself. He pocketed his phone again and looked around at everyone gathered. His voice was still a bit raspy. Somehow, without him noticing, someone had gotten him a glass of water. It was probably Alfred.

"Alright, the next story is- "

I don't have the book with me currently, so I don't know what the next story is. That's why I put a cliffhanger.

You're welcome.

Also, I just found out about Oliver's son Conn... whatever. I think I spelled it wrong, but I spelled the two names differently because I know, for sure, that I'll get confused about who I'm writing about.