Callie POV
I could not sleep.
It wasn't for the lack of trying, though. I never was able to have a good night's sleep, when I was placed with a new foster family. New family, new environment, new surroundings, new rules, new sounds and smells, new fears. It all kept me awake the first few days. All but one, that is.
But this time, it was not the new environment that kept me awake. It was the fight that I had with Jude. I was overwhelmed with emotions. I had never expected to feel so betrayed by my own brother. At one point, I realized that my hand was having a cramp, from being squeezed into a fist too often and too tight. And the tears, I have been holding them back for two days straight. To top it off, there was a small, a very tiny, part of me that also felt incredibly proud, that my baby brother wrote a fucking book and that his professors really thought it could do very well if published. It was exhausting, having to juggle all of it.
Turning my head on the pillow, I glanced over the dark room, to Frankie's, then Mariana's bed. There was no movement, but I hoped, for a selfish reason, she would be awake.
"Mari!" I whispered in the dark
Nothing. Not even a twitch. Frankie on the other hand, turned on her other side.
"Mari!" I tried again a bit louder, but still nothing. Mariana was lucky enough to have fallen asleep.
Turning my head back to stare up to the ceiling, I closed my eyes and tried desperately to fall asleep. My brain needed the rest. I needed a moment, just a few short hours, free of all of this. Forget what is happening. Have no worry.
I tossed the blanket aside the very moment I remembered how good I felt when I was on Oxycotin. The sensation when the drug kicked in, bringing me the freedom to escape all the worries and stress, and pain. Giving me the chance to not feel anything for a few hours.
"Fuck," I breathed out as I set my bare feet on the cold ground and covered my face with my palms. I could not go down that road again.
I got up and tiptoed out of the room, closing the doors behind as quietly as I possibly could. Thankfully, there was a light left on in the hallway so that us, guests, could walk around freely, without worrying about tripping over or falling down the stairs.
I looked around the hallway, considering my options. So many doors, so many options, but I decided to go down the stairs.
After a minute of wandering around the first floor, I finally found the kitchen. At least I thought I did, as I touched the wall, looking for a light switch. The light blinded me, when I finally found the switch.
The kitchen was two times the size of the kitchen at mom's house. It looked spotless, but it did not give me the homey and safe feeling I do when I am at mom's kitchen or even the Adams Foster kitchen. It gave out a different kind of feeling to me. Almost this coldness. I had a feeling that this family does not gather in their kitchen, but rather in the living room or dinner room. This kitchen was for the chef's, not the family.
It took me a good 10 minutes to find everything I needed to make myself a cup of coffee.
As I was waiting for the water to boil, I jumped up and sat on the side of a counter. The coldness of it got to me and a shiver run all over my boy.
The sound of footsteps stopped my breathing for a second or two. The water starting to boil next to me hushed the footsteps a little, but I did my best to listen in. Wondering if mom was coming to find me or someone from Brooks family worried that someone was breaking in because of the sounds that I had made. It wouldn't be the first time someone would mistake me for an intruder. Will never forget the day I got drunk and shattered Adams Foster family window with a rock I had found in their backyard all because I was mad with mom and wanted to talk to the two women.
Not wanting to be a rude guest, I jumped down the counter and turned off the fire to put a stop to the boiling water. Already in my mind I was forming an answer as to why I was here and that I was sorry that I woke them up. I had already caused enough of a scene yesterday. No need to add to it.
The second I set the kettle down, I heard the sound of doors opening and closing. I stood, not moving a muscle, listening closely. Did someone just leave or let someone in?
It was not my house.
It was not my problem.
I told myself, but still decided to go and investigate the noise. I was too curious not to. In my mind I was picturing someone sleep walking. Did not want someone to walk out on the middle of the road in the middle of the night.
I navigated the maze of unknown hallways and rooms till I found myself at the room with the front doors. I moved the curtain a little to peak outside. Someone was standing at the end of the driveway. Holding a phone in one hand, with a suitcase by their side. The longer I looked, the clearer it got to me who it was. But for some reason I did not move. Something was stopping me from going over there and talk to him. An invisible force created out of spite of what he did.
That is, until a car pulled up. The driver got out, walked around and helped with the suitcase. When I saw the driver shut the trunk and for Jude to open the back door, I snapped out it.
I pulled open the front door and ran out.
"Jude!" I called out as I ran down the driveway. The ground was cold and running down the driveway with my bare feet, hurt a little.
"Jude," This time I called louder, hoping he would hear me. And he did. Jude turned to look at me running towards him. He turned to the driver and must have said something, because the next thing, the car engine roared. Jude looked back at me, when I was 3 steps away from the car.
Now I saw it, Jude told the driver to "Drive" as he stared down at me. The car drove out as I had reached it.
"Jude!" I screamed after the car in the dark. Jude turned to look at me through the back window for as long as he could. I raised my arms up, as if asking him – what the hell are you doing. Baffled and confused I remained standing in the middle of the road.
A car honk and bright lights scared me half to death. I could hear a muffled "Get out of the road!" coming from the car as it drove around me. Not really sure what to do next, I walked to the curb and sat down.
I buried my face in my palms as the realization hit me.
He left because of me.
I drove him away. Me and the twins. We basically bullied him to leave.
Stef POV
It was almost 8am and everyone was gathered in the living room, following the news that no one seemed to know where Jude was.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to keep the panic attack and headache contained. Jude was missing. He was not in his room. He was nowhere to be found in the house. There was no note, no nothing. His didn't answer calls or texts as his phone was turned off. Lena was the last person he spoke to. Jesus had not even looked at him when he went to bed and he did not hear anything at night (he was a heavy sleeper and nothing could wake him if he was in deep sleep).
"He must have gone home, right?" Amy reasoned as she pressed her hands against the top of chair
"Or a hotel. We are here to see B's show after all. Would he really just up and leave?" Lena said then glanced between me, Amy and Mike "Can't you like...track his card? See if he bought anything in the last few hours."
"We don't have any connections here, love," I reasoned "If we were home, we might be able to pull some strings, but not here."
"Callie do -" Amy spoke up and started to look around the room "Where's Callie?"
Now everyone's head turned, searching for the girl. But just like Jude, she was not here.
Amy stood up straight "Has anyone seen Callie this morning? Is she up?"
Everyone shook their heads, just as Frankie walked in with a hairbrush and hairbands and bobby pins "Mama, can you do my hair?" I could tell she had just woken up. Her eyes still had sleep in them. She had managed to get out of her PJs and into some casual clothes.
Lena took the hairbrush from Frankie and asked her to sit down on the chair "Hey, sweetie, have you seen Callie this morning?"
"Nop," Frankie replied casually. Lena looked up to me, then Amy. Her eyes containing the same concern as mine were.
"Her bed was made up, when I got up. I assumed she was somewhere in the house so I didn't really think anything off it," Mariana said sitting up a bit straighter as worry clearly washed over her
"Someone, please, try Callie's phone!" Amy said as she left the room in a hurry following the news
"Great!" I started to pace around the room "This is just...great! This was supposed to be a relaxing family vocation. Few nice, carefree days. Visiting B-" I gestured to our oldest son, who was standing quietly in the doorway with his girlfriend right next to him "meeting Brooke and her family, seeing the show, touring the city. But it has once again turned into a very typical Adams Foster slash Scott Ellis crazy shit show. This is just great. Why do we even try..."
"Deep breaths, love." Lena reminded me as I was slowly starting to lose it
I did as she told. Turned my back to everyone as I stood by the window and looked out in the far, to the trees and bushes that were planted in the yard. It helped. A little.
"It's ringing at least," Mariana said. Looking over my shoulder, I saw she was holding the phone up to her ear.
The room felt quiet till Amy walked back "Her suitcase is gone,"
"So, both of them are gone," I concluded as I turned around to face them all "Great!" Sarcasm just kept pouring out of me "The show is in few hours and we are missing two of our family members. Feels like a Tuesday to me!"
"Any luck?" Amy walked over to Mariana, seeing that she was the one trying to call Callie
"No. She's not picking up. But it's ringing at least," Mariana said ending the call, but starting another one right after
"Maybe you can file a missing person report?" Brooke asked quietly form where she stood
"I don't think that's the right thing to do right now. For all we know, they might have gone home. They are both adults. We have no reason to believe that anything bad has happened to them."
"Why would Callie leave?" Jesus asked "I mean, I would understand why Jude left, but Callie?"
He was asking some good questions. Lena did tell us that Jude had mentioned going back home. He was in a very emotional state of mind, giving everything that has happened in the last 2 days. Jude felt like everyone was angry with him and that no one wanted him here. So, the idea, that he might have to leave, was understandable. Callie on the other hand – I couldn't think of any reason why she would want to go. But then again, Callie was more of a mystery to me. Amy might have some idea, some vague insight into how her daughter thought process might have gone.
"Okay, I got it," Theodore said and connected his laptop to the projector in the room so that everyone could see. They have security cameras all around the property. I had seen few when we arrived here. Theodore was kind enough to check the footage to see if they had captured anything – the siblings leaving.
At 2:45:14 AM the security camera captured Jude leaving the pool house.
At 2:45:37 AM he was standing at the end of the driveway, with his suitcase in one hand and his phone out. Waiting for something or someone.
At 2:46:21 AM a cab pulled up.
At 2:46:48 AM another camera captured the moment of Callie running out of the house, down the driveway in her nightwear, barefoot. She was chasing after Jude.
Jude got in the cab and drove away, just as Callie reached the end of the driveway. She proceeded to walk out to the street as she watched her brother drive way. Callie stood in the middle of the road, watching after her brother, for sold two minutes, till another car almost hit her. She went to sit on a curb.
Callie sat there for about 20 minutes, before she got up and hurried back inside.
At 3:25:13 AM, Callie walked down the driveway with her suitcase. Now dressed in casual clothes. Just like before a car pulled up, she got in and left.
"At least now we know that nothing bad happened to them and they left on their own free will," Theodore concluded and closed the footage
Mariana gasped "Callie's phone went to voicemail."
"You know, sometimes it feels like those two don't think about anyone else but themselves!" I snapped, I just felt the urge to vent as I could not hold it in any longer. Once it will be out of my system, I might a clearer head
"This was supposed to be their big day!" I gestured and took a few steps towards Brandon and Brooke who stood quietly with their heads down "Instead, those two make it all about themselves. They couldn't just keep it in for few short hours, till after the show to deal with...all of it. Learn to compartmentalize for god's sake! Just for few hours!" I threw my arms up "Going off, doing god knows what, not telling anyone, without thinking about the consequences or what it does to other people! Where the fuck did we go wrong with those two-" I held gaze with Lena, then looked over to Amy
"I mean..." I stumbled a few steps back, my back hit the wall. I was ready to slide down to the floor and take my head in my hands – I felt that exhausted and defeated.
"What are we supposed to do now?" I asked looking over to Lena, then to everyone else who was in the room
Callie POV
Thankfully, there were still available tickets back to San Diego. With only minutes to spare to buy them. Had the cab driver driven a little bit slower and not driven at the yellow lights, I might as well have missed this flight.
Now standing at the gate, little out of breath as I had to run down here, I looked at the line in front of me. There he was. He had just gotten through the ticket check and went through the gate.
As I was coming to airport, I hadn't thought that seeing him would calm me down as much as it did. Given how upset and angry I was with him at the moment. It wasn't the fact that I had caught up with him that I took the comfort. It was the idea, that I still knew my brother. Knew what he was thinking, knew what he was going to do. It was probably a 50/50 chance of getting this correct, because the only other place he could have gone to was the hotel. But I was going to take this small win.
In about 5 minutes, I was slowly walking down the aisle, following other people, looking for my seat and at the same time searching for my brother. He too got the ticket last minute, so he probably will have the middle seat, between some two unknown, single people who are traveling alone. I had gotten myself a middle seat on the one to last row on the right side of plane.
And then I saw him.
He was sitting on the other side of the plane, same row, middle seat. He was looking down, at something in his lap or arms or the little tray. As I walked pass him, I noticed he had a pencil in his hand and the book manuscript was placed in his lap. Earbuds in his ears suggested he was deep in his own little world, unaware of everything around him. He had already put on the seat belt, so not to be disturbed later. He stroked a sentence or two out and scribbled something on the side.
I took my seat between an older woman and a man in a business suit, who had his laptop out, some big word document opened. Looked like a legal file, all big words and serious titles.
The aisle seat next to Jude, remained empty. Everyone had boarded. The flight attendant started to give the instruction. I sat patiently through it all. Waited till the plane took off and the seat sign turned off.
"Excuse me," I got up and squeezed pass the older woman and with one swift step crossed the isle and took a seat next to Jude. He still hadn't looked up as he was too busy with his book. All focus and concentration went towards the book. It was like he didn't notice or care about what was happening around him.
He scribbled words on the side, scratched other out. Even wrote a whole new sentence and pointed an arrow where it should go. Then he dragged the pencil along the sentence as he probably read it. He did that few times, reading the few sentences surrounding to get a feel how it reads.
I placed my finger on the page, to the new sentence he wrote, startling him.
He took his earbud out "What—what are you doing here!?"
"I was relieved, not scared," I tapped my finger to the sentence where Zoe is arrested. Jude stared at me, but then quickly scratched the sentence and wrote 'relieved' on top.
"Finally safe," I added and then looked up front. I heard Jude scribble the words.
"Aren't you angry with me?"
"I am. Very much so,"
"Then why are you doing this? Why are you here?"
"We got to start somewhere, right?" I briefly glanced to Jude, who slowly nodded in agreement.
I looked up front, to the far side of the airplane "Might as well just help you write it more accurate."
I paused briefly. Felt Jude's eyes on me. But he didn't say anything.
"I was scared, when I was living there. Having to face him every day. I had no one to talk to. No one I could turn to for help or just advice or comfort. I was alone and I was scared out of my mind, that he would do it again. So, when mom came and arrested me, I was relieved to finally be taken someplace safe. It didn't matter that it was juvenile detention. What mattered, was that I no longer had to see him every day."
"Not even when there were guns pointed at you?" Jude asked, while I heard him write something down
"No. Even getting shot would be better than having to live one day with the them," I stated back
"Callie-"
"Hmm?" I hummed back
"Why have you never talked to me about all of this stuff. Not just what happened with the Olmsteads, but...all of it?"
"It's not something I wanted you to know. These are not happy memories, they are not stories I want share willingly. Even with mom, it's hard and painful. Retelling it means I have to relive it again. And I don't want you to know, I don't want to put those images in your head."
"I'm not a kid anymore. I can handle-"
"It's not about you being a kid or you being able to handle that stuff, Jude!" I snapped and turned to him a little harsher than I indented to "You're my baby brother. I-" I took a breath in, but it did not help me calm down "Don't you understand! I don't want you to think of me-like that-" I flipped a few pages on the book and then tapped it "I don't want you to think of this and then think of me! I don't- want you to see me like that! Remember me like that!"
"I don't see you like that!" Jude closed the book, leaving his pencil in the middle to know where he left off "I have thousands of happy memories of you. These-" he glanced down to the book "- don't affect them. In fact, it only makes me cherish the goods one even more. Since I written the book, I feel like I know the real you more. I wish we hadn't been separated and I could have been there for you-"
"You were a kid-"
"It doesn't matter. I wish I would have been there for you. I hate that you were alone. That you had no one on your side. I might not have been able to protect you, but at least I would be there for you. You wouldn't have to go through it all alone."
With a quick hand movement, I wiped away the tear that lingered in my eye.
"I'm not writing this to hurt you or the twins. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Adoption, foster care, foster kids - sometimes it seems like a such taboo topics. No one really talks about it, no one really care about it. All foster kids are thought as freaks, delinquents, trouble. Everyone like to judge us by that one single piece of information and rarely someone wants to get to know us. All I wanted was to show the world what it's actually like. Share real stories of how the system hurts foster kids more than it helps. How one single act of kindness towards kids us like, changes everything. Foster families can make all the difference - good or bad. The system is flawed and money often plays a more vital role. It can destroy and make lives, some would turn a blind eye to child abuse or neglect if only they have an extra 1000$ in their bank account. What some people will do or more precisely what they won't do for an annual check for taking in foster kids that they do not want or care for."
"Why didn't you talk to us first?"
"Better ask for forgiveness than permission, I guess," Jude said, his shoulders slumped "Which I now, realize, was the wrong choice. If I had asked you, any of you, then I would have this...pressure on me. You would expect something, that I was afraid, I could not deliver. That I would let you all down. Make a big fuss about something and then just..disappoint you all."
My lips parted as I wanted to interject, but Jude caught up "I know I still disappointed you, in other ways. These were your stories and I should have talked to you, before I finished the manuscript. But I have decided that I'm not going to publish it, unless I have everyones approval to do so. It might take months or years, I might not ever publish it, but I have made up my mind about it."
"What if you never get 100% approval from all of us?"
"Then I just keep these books for myself. They will stay in the family. No outsider will ever read them."
I smiled, liking what I heard from him. Jude smiled back. This felt like a good first step towards fixing the crack between us. He opened the book back up, picked up the pencil and started to edit the next paragraph.
"Wait!" It was like my brain finally caught up "You said books? As in, more than one book? There are others?"
Jude smirked at me "You can't write our family history in one single book!"