Disclaimer
I own nothing but what I write. All intellectual properties belong to their respective owners, that is Oomori Fujino owns Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou and Fate Grand Order is owned by Type-Moon, Delightworks and Sony.
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AN: Another short chapter. Hope you like it. Just set up work to help the story of Enkidu and Hephaestus to move along. Also to set up the next punchline. A different spin on a pass-parade and some dungeon time for the group.
Yoshiki-909:- LOL! As tempting as that sounds I don't want this to be solely Prisma based or miyu-verse based either. I'm trying to make a balance with FGO but Miyu imouto mode will come out as well as Illya's onii-chan mode too. Chloe I'm being careful with as she may or may not come out in full or maybe just as a card. Who knows, I'll see as the story progresses.
Surfysun95:- Don't worry brother! This isn't all Bell and Ais as they will do things backward as I suggested.
Asmodai18:- Thanks for the compliment! Keep on reading and supporting me!
Onishin Tsukitenshi:- LOL! It will be escalated don't you worry! I don't hate Mord but I'm setting him up for a big and proper apology because I think it's good he saw the error of his ways in canon but I think he got off lightly. This is a bit more painful but he'll learn his lesson, one that he never deserved considering he never picked on Bell in this fic! LOL! Call it multi-universal karma.
PittBullBytes:- Great to see you back! Yeah, it is a bit of a stretch but by my reckoning, to an ignorant mass with narrow views, if it speaks, it can't be a monster. If it's not a monster it must be demi-human. If it's demi-human with horns and a tail, it could only be a cows! If only Shuten didn't declare herself a demon oni now…. But that's a different story.
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Please read & review as I appreciate any comments made
Fate Grand Disorder
Chapter 52 – Manly
This was not what Welf Crozzo had in mind when he had asked Bell Cranel to join his party to tackle the dungeon. He had thought it would be standard dungeon run stopping to fight whatever monsters popped up and slowly making their way down to the middle floors. After all, Bell was a level three and Liliruca, their supporter was a level two. It almost depressed him as a front line fighter that he was the weakest and that even their supporter was stronger than him. But then again, this was the infamous Hestia familia and he was just grateful he had a party now.
It didn't even faze him that once they had met up and he had handed over Bell's new steel underwear that his master, Saber Elizabeth Bathory Brave, had made him change into it at the guild or that he looked like a male version of his master in nothing more than a cape, pauldron, guantlets, boots and underwear. She considered it manly. He thought Bell looked like an amazon boy toy. But he couldn't complain as that was what the client ordered.
What got him was Saber's masterful plan to tie monster baits to their necks and run through the dungeon screaming and goading every monster to chase after them so that they could 'trap' them on the seventeenth floor to have a 'heroic showdown'. Firstly monster baits were illegal, secondly, he was concerned about how many people they would accidentally pass parade on their way down and lastly, he wasn't given a choice when Saber had finally told him what it was tied to his neck once swarms of monsters had started spawning.
Running through the dungeon nonstop was no fun especially when he could hear the howls and grunts and all sorts of monster roars behind him. He was too afraid to even look back. What was even more unfair was that only Bell and himself were running, to 'improve' their stamina, apparently.
Lily had found a space behind Rider Kintoki on his motorcycle while Brave stood on the handlebars with one hand over her eyes, peering off into the distance ahead of them. They would never reach the seventeenth floor as once they entered the fourteenth floor Saber called out, "Up ahead! Some people need saving! Onwards heroes!" Kintoki responded by opening the throttle more and speeding forth as Bell poured on even more speed with Welf trying his hardest not to fall behind.
Kashima Ouka, captain of the Takemikazuchi familia was carrying a wounded Hitachi Chigusa on his back. Her short black hair was plastered to her face in sweat because she was injured by an axe lodged into her shoulder blade. Ouka only had one thought as he led the rest of his familia members, Asuka and Yamato Mikoto in an attempt to get to the surface and safety. He wanted out of there as soon as possible, his only concern being to get his childhood crush to a healer and fast.
What he didn't expect to see as they ran was a few adventurers heading their way unknowing of the danger following him or what they were about to run into. He made up his mind, prioritizing his own familia first and sent a silent apology to the adventurers coming up to them. "We have no choice!" He told the rest of his familia, "We have to get Chigusa to a healer soon. I don't like it but we'll have to pass-parade them."
"What!..." Mikoto wanted to complain.
"Enough!" Ouka stamped his authority, "I'm the captain here and I'll take responsibility."
As they drew closer, Ouka recognized the boy, it was Bell Cranel, which meant this was Hestia familia. That and the whopping big motorcycle gave it away. "I…I'm sorry about the pass-parade!" He yelled to the group, "But we have an injured here so we have no choice."
"That's ok!" The cheery voice of Saber answered him, "That's what heroes are for!"
Ouka nodded in apology as his group ran past them. Then they came sliding to a halt as a wall of monsters appeared before them. Welf, being the slowest in Bell's group ran past Ouka and said "Sorry!"
Sorry indeed. Now Ouka felt stupid for apologizing to the Hestia group. He could only back away and close up with the Hestia group in a hope that more numbers would maybe give them a chance. He gave a dirty look to Bell but was surprised when he saw no fear or hesitation in the boy's eyes. What he saw in Saber's eyes however was worse, part crazy, part lunacy, but all excitement.
Saber roared out above the din, "For love, justice and all that's right! It's time Hestia Heroes to do umm… Hero-ey things!" Turning to Bell she slapped him across the shoulder, "Hurry up and do your Sentai pose!"
"Do I have to?" Bell complained.
"Of course!" Kintoki answered as stood with one arm flexed and one hand pointing to the ceiling like some kind of bodybuilder, "For Goooolden Justice!" he yelled out.
Lily was beside him stretching forward with her hand bent at the elbow and pointing to her chest while her other hand was also pointing to the ceiling. "For Gooooolden Love!" she yelled out.
Bell could only shake his head as he got up on his one legged crane stance and yelled out, "To protect the weak!"
Saber grinned as she stood with both arms outstretched pushing out her chest as far as it could go, "To do Hero-ey Hero things!" she yelled out.
They all turned to a pale Welf who raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. "Uh-uh, no way!" He made a cross with his arms before he pointed behind them, "Watch out! Here they come!"
Welf and Ouka expected themselves to be in a chaotic fight for their lives but they were surprised to see Hestia familia seemingly able to handle it in their stride. Actually, it was more Kintoki and Brave who tanked the majority of the monsters.
Still, the fight was chaotic even though it was somehow controlled by the Hestia familia. Ouka noted they used strange tactics such as Kintoki picking up Lily and throwing her at the monsters! Unprecedented! She in turn simply called out "License-less Rider!" and a little pink push bike complete with a shopping basket, appeared beneath her as she crashed into the monsters. "Justice Crash!"
Saber zipped about the floor carving through monsters as she yelled out, "Laaa! Sorry to keep you waiting! This is my finishing number! Tornado Demoness of Fresh Blood! Did you see that runts!?" For a heroic move, it sure had an unheroic name.
Rider Kintoki yelled out "Golden Drive – Good Night!" before plunging into the hordes of monsters on his motorcycle, Golden Bear, as electricity ran all around him as he crushed his way in to reinforce Lily.
Bell moved like a machine, cutting a swath through the enemies. What surprised Ouka was when Bell received a gash on his arm, instead of retreating Bell seemed to throw his arm around splashing his blood everywhere, especially to those monsters that got too close to them. The surprising thing was if any blood got into their eyes or mouth the poor monsters would soon keel over and disappear.
There was really nothing much for Ouka, Takemikazuchi familia or Welf to do other than pick off the remainders who had managed to dodge the onslaught. Level three sure was something else.
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Caster Gilgamesh knew something was bothering his friend. Lancer Enkidu and he had literally been friends that even death couldn't keep apart. They had the Hall of Heroes to thank for that. So when Enkidu sat silently in his room for such a long time, Caster lost his patience and started berating the weapon. "Enough Enkidu! The wench's concerns are beneath you to worry about. Far be it for someone like you to worry about a god or goddess after everything they have put us through."
Enkidu merely smiled at Gilgamesh. "I thank you for the concern, but truly I am fine."
"You would dare to deceive my eyes?" Caster flared his nostrils, "You know what they see and you think they cannot tell what is on your mind."
Enkidu could only chuckle. "Truly, your eyes see all." Sighing he decided to share some of his burden with his friend. "I wonder… sometimes… If I had misled the goddess, if it were as her captain said, my irresponsibility that led to her goddess being so…"
"You would worry about the musings of a goddess?" Caster was surprised, "Have you forgotten that the gods merely see us as playthings to amuse themselves and pass time?"
"It is as you say." Enkidu readily agreed, "However, lady Hephaestus has been nothing but kind to me and I can tell she harbors no ill will towards me."
"It is because you are the perfect weapon and she, being the goddess of the forge cannot help but be attracted to you… as the perfect weapon." Caster perfectly explained.
"Even still," Enkidu looked wistful, "She sees me not as a weapon but as a man. It must have come as a shock to her when I am not."
"Then she is blind!" Gilgamesh shouted. "You… are a man amongst men, a manly man and whoever so says otherwise needs to answer to me. For I, the king, declare it so and so it is! You are my friend and a man!"
Enkidu laughed at his friend's statement and almost sadly, he refuted, "I am, but I am also not." He looked down at the ground before him. "For I cannot prove it so."
This time it was Gilgamesh who laughed. "Then prove it you shall!" Turning to Enkidu he smirked, "Have you forgotten what one of your core abilities is."
Enkidu had not. He was a weapon, capable of taking on any form his clay could take. He was malleable and technically formless and thus full of form. He chuckled and shook his head, "I feel like that is a lie, a deception. Even if I didn't, I would not know how or what to form."
Caster closed his eyes and spoke with as regal a tone that he could muster. "Then I shall grace you with the right to copy mine own! Rejoice my friend for you shall have not just any penis, but the penis of a king!"
"My king!" Enkidu gasped, "I am not worthy of such an honor!"
"Are we not friends my dear Enkidu?"
"We are."
"Then worry not and burn this image into your mind so that you can forever copy it." Gilgamesh spoke as he pulled down his pants and let Enkidu gaze upon his groin in all its glory.
Enkidu lifted up his gown and transformed his groin to match his friends. Gilgamesh nodded as he lifted up his penis to show him what was underneath. "Do not forget these." He stated as Enkidu nodded in response, "After all, that Tsubaki wench did tell you to 'grow some balls'."
And grow them he did and he was happy. In a final effort to be just a bit different from his friend Enkidu had subconsciously decided to just grow his organs a touch bigger than Gilgamesh's who simply scoffed and said, "Show off!"
The door slammed open as Archer Kid Gil burst into the room, "Hey Gil! Da Vinci said…." The words died in his mouth as he saw the two men standing in front of him with their cocks in their hands.
Kid Gil ran up to Enkidu and started kicking him in the shins while punching him with little fists. Tears were streaming down his face. "IT WAS YOU! YOU'RE THE EVIL EVIL MAN THAT TURNED ME INTO A PRICK!" Turning to Caster he continued his rant. "HOW COULD YOU!... NO WONDER I NEVER GOT MARRIED! IS THIS THE REAL REASON I… NO, YOU, TURNED DOWN ISHTAR!? WHAT ABOUT SIDURI!"
"Silence mongrel!" Caster commanded but it had little effect on his traumatized younger self.
"I never knew you two were like that! But I should've suspected!" Kid Gil turned a furious eye on Enkidu, "You! You stay away from me, now and in the future!" Turning back to Gilgamesh he yelled, "I'm never, never, ever going to grow up like you! I'm not that way! I love women! I love women!" Rubbing his fists into his teary eyes he screamed out, "Illyasviel! We have to get married! NOW! TODAY!" as he ran out of the room.
Hestia had heard the commotion start and had thought to stick her head in to stop any potential fights from breaking out. "Now now children. No fighting!" she calmly stated as she watched a distraught Kid Gil bolt out of the room and out of the building. Shaking her head she walked into the room seeking answers, "Now tell me what is….WHAT THE!... What is going on here!" She choked out as the sight burned itself into her eyes.
"I'm merely helping my friend out." Caster was casual with his reply.
"I see…" Hestia covered her eyes with her hand. "I guess this explains a lot. I guess I'll just go tell Hephaestus the bad news then."
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Now please review or make any comments or even ideas on more craziness that I could add. I'd appreciate it.