DILAN'S P.O.V.
They stayed up that night and Dilan told him everything that she went through on that 10-day mission. How the people were so frantic, they wouldn't listen to reason. That they tried to run back to their homes, tried to hide in villages. Dilan begged them to listen to her, but they wouldn't.
Most of them couldn't even hear her over their own crying and screaming.
It was complete chaos.
Dilan managed to get 50 people to follow her and they started moving towards a forest. But these weren't trained soldiers. They were citizens. Some were as old as 80 and they died from exhaustion, not the titans. By the time she got to the forest, she had lost 4 men, through different ways. They didn't have gear, equipped with things like pitch forks that wouldn't even break the skin of a Titan. What's worse, they pay attention listen to her when she told them to stay back, too frantic to listen to logic.
She managed to get them up into the trees. Some were able to climb but she had to use her gear to get a lot of them up there. They stayed for 10 days. Simply withering away.
2 died of dehydration since they failed to ration their water.
The screams of the other citizens were heard daily, every few minutes a scream for help rang out and Dilan couldn't do anything. She just sat there, crumbling while she listened to their torment, day in, day out. Then finally, the ten days were up.
They lost another 4 men on the way home. 40 out of 600.
Dilan told him how she had never seen such pointless deaths before on the field and how it broke something inside of her. Levi agreed it was bullshit. He told her that when he woke up, she was already 5 days into the mission, and he tried everything, but Erwin refused to allow him to go out there.
Dilan apologised that it was kind of because of her and asked if Erwin had used the favour on him. Levi shook his head, telling her Erwin had explained how risky what Dilan did was and that if Levi tried to follow her he would end up exposing her to the MPs.
Levi was her rock that night, helping her through the darkness. When morning came, they were both relieved. Things would get better from then on. It had to.
And so, life continued. Dilan was demoted back down to second in command. Her old taskforce that had come to visit her were outraged and complained to Erwin that Dilan was apparently 'the finest leader they had ever seen'.
Dilan laughed at that, amused, but managed to calm her ex-troops down, explaining that she had asked for the demotion and that Erwin had actually offered her a squad of her own, but she declined. They were disappointed that she wouldn't be leading them anymore but understood, nonetheless. She still saw them around the HQ and she often invited her boys over to spar with her, making sure they weren't slacking off. Jamie was getting really good. He was never the best at combat but after Dilan was able to spend some time putting a little more effort into him he had gotten a lot better.
The boy had even taken down Thomas the other day. The look on the Thomas' face was hilarious and it was clear he wasn't expecting it considering how shit Jamie used to be. They had both learnt important lessons that day. Jamie learnt how to use someones disadvantages against them and Thomas had learnt never to underestimate. While Dilan and Caden had fun watching them argue afterwards while drinking a few beers.
It was a monthly tradition she had come to appreciate.
While sometimes she did miss being a leader, in the end she just wanted some normality and that meant cleaning the Inn with the squad and training until they were blue in the face.
Dilan got what she wanted. Things went back to normal. Her and Levi were virtually inseparable. She spent a lot of time with him in his office doing paperwork. And most nights were also spent on the roof. A lot of the time they ended up passing out up there, woken by the sunrise. It was cold sometimes, but she had Levi there next to her, so she didn't give a fuck. She had her best friend back and she couldn't have been happier. He was there for her and helped her through the trauma that had accumulated from that 10-day voyage. Thankfully Dilan hadn't cut since.
It was a few months later that Dilan's subtle urges to cross the line with her friend started growing at a steadier rate. She constantly wanted to be near him, touch him, kiss him. It was exhausting and she couldnt understand why. After much hesistation she had gone to see someone about it. Someone who had known her for a long time. Someone who knew her better than she knew herself.
Dilan frowned as she watched Mama P convulse with laughter on her stool. She was practically dying and Dilan was considering finishing the job. She couldnt fathom why the woman was laughing so much! It took everything Dilan had to open up about her odd feelings towards her best friend, wanting Mama P's advice on why she was feeling this way. Mama P had stared at her for a full minute before bursting out laughing. 10 minutes later and she hadnt stopped yet. Her face was purple and Dilan would have been concerned if she wasnt so pissed off.
"Why are you laughing!?" She yelled suddenly and Mama P flinched, almost falling off her chair but managed to hang onto the side. She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down.
"I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry." She snorted, trying to get a hold of herself. Dilan huffed, annoyed. She brought her legs up to her chest and leant her chin on them, as she failed to shove down a blush. It was very embarrassing to admit her new urges to Mama P. She did not appreciate the sporadic laughter.
"Is it really that stupid?" She mumbled, pouting. Mama P smiled warmly, squeezing her hand.
"No, honey. It's not stupid at all. You love him and you have for a long time. I was just surprised! I thought you already knew and I kind of thought you were already together, even if you weren't public about it." She chuckled. Dilan's eyes widened as her whole face heated up.
"Why would you think that?!" Dilan asked in exasperation. Mama smiled, rolling her eyes. She picked out a green lollipop and handed it to her. Dilan eagerly unwrapped it, feeling like her head was about to explode. Love? She had never been in love before. Was it possible?
"Baby, you kind of act like a couple already." She pointed out. Dilan's eyes grew wider still.
"NO WE DON'T!" She shrieked, embarrassed. Mama P laughed.
"Yes sweetie, you do. You always stand way too close to each other, you flirt constantly, even if it just looks like arguing, and you take whatever opportunities you can to touch each other. Best friends don't hold hands that much." She informed with a smirk. Dilan pouted and looked away.
"That was supportive hand holding. I was struggling that day and he-"
"-he makes you feel better." Mama P finished for her. She smiled at Dilan's surprised face. "Dil, baby, if you want the truth, I'll give it to you. You love that grumpy man. An unnatural amount, in my opinion. You really are dense aren't you?" She chuckled. Dilan blinked at her, ignoring her insult.
"I love him?" She asked. Mama P nodded. "Real love?" She asked. Another nod. "Not platonic love?" She asked again. A heavy sigh before she shook her head.
Dilan stayed there for a moment, contemplating it.
"Nope! Utter bullshit!" She exclaimed before grabbing a handful of lollipops and running out of the store.
"DIL! COME BACK AND PAY FOR THOSE!"
Dilan decided to remain in denial for some time. But the thought Mama P had planted continued to pop up in her head whenever she was around him. And whenever she wasn't around him. And when she was trying to sleep, and in the shower and during training, etc. It haunted her! She didn't know what to do about it but the urges were becoming stronger and she had yet to assign them a reason why. It wasn't until a month or so later when Dilan and Levi were visiting the Birch family that the idea became a fact.
An undeniable fact.
"Be nice today, your face looks too moody." Dilan pointed out as they reached the front door of the cottage. Levi frowned.
"Dil this is my face. I can't change it." He pointed out, giving her a look. Dilan knocked on the door before turning back to him.
"Sure you can! We're visiting children remember. You'll scare them with that frown." She replied, pulling at his face and trying to get the frown out. But the stubborn bastard frowned deeper.
"Dil! Get off!" He complained, trying to push her away but Dilan was determined.
"Just smile! You do it all the time when we're alone. These people dont know you, you have no miserable reputation to uphold!" She argued.
"I cant just smile, dumbass! It's not a fucking switch! Oi, get the hell off-" Levi argued back and they both froze as the door opened, Dilan's hands still pulling at Levi's cheeks. There was Josie senior, holding Josie junior. The two boys blinking at them from their mothers side. Levi glared at her and she chuckled sheepishly before letting go of him, hoping he would wait to beat her up until after they left the cottage.
"Hello." Dilan smiled awkwardly and Levi rolled his eyes at her. Mrs Birch chuckled and opened her mouth to reply but Josie cut her off.
"Dilla! Dilla! Dilla!" She shreiked, squirming in her guardian's grip to reach out to her. Dilan's heart melted and she smiled widely, looking at Mrs Birch for a moment, who smiled and nodded that it was okay before taking Josie from her arms. The little girl hugged her tightly and Dilan had to blink back the tears.
"Hey baby girl. You okay?" She asked happily. She had been to see Josie a few times over the last few months but it was still too much time away from her. Especially after spending every single day with her on the wall. This was the first time she had visted with Levi. Normally she either came by herself or she went with some of the other Taskforce members.
Josie nodded three times, hiding her face in Dilan's shoulder. She chuckled, looking to the boys. Their names were Ash and Clay and they were adorable. One was 6 and the other 10. They were spitting images of Cassi, brown hair and brown eyes, just like Josie. Their mother, on the other hand, had blonde hair but they all shared the same kind eyes.
"Come in, dears. You'll get a cold." Mrs Birch suggested kindly. Dilan smiled and Levi nodded his thanks as they stepped into the house and took of their shoes. Dilan looked down as Clay grabbed her hand.
"D-Dilan why dont you come here more?" He asked, tilting his head. Ash smiled and pat his little brother on the head.
"Because she has an important job! Dilan's a soldier!" He said in awe. Dilan chuckled as they turned to Levi and he froze slightly. Even after all their visits to the orphanage, the man still wasnt good with children's attention. "Are you a soldier too?" He asked.
Levi frowned, looking down at his obvious scout uniforms.
"I think if I wasn't it would be a little concerning-" He started to reply like an idiot and Dilan coughed, cutting him off and giving him a glare. Levi glared back.
Mrs Birch chuckled.
"We havent formally met. I'm Josie." She smiled, holding out her hand. Levi shook it politely.
"Levi." He replied. She smiled and nodded.
"I'll boil the kettle, make yourselves at home. Boys, come help me." She asked and the boys nodded, running into the kitchen. Josie chuckled and followed them.
Dilan rolled her eyes at him and he gave her a 'what' look as she came further into the house, into the lounge, where they normally sat during her visits to the Birch home.
"Di! W-who that?" Josie asked, looking at Levi with curiosity. Dilan smirked.
"Grumpy." She answered before Levi could and he glared at her.
"Grumpeee?" She repeated, blinking innocently. Dilan smiled and nodded.
"Yep! He looks very grumpy, huh Jo-Jo?" She said excitedly, lifting her up high and she shrieked, giggling loudly.
"He smile!" Josie grinned after Dilan held her normally again and the little girl stopped laughing. Dilan blinked and looked at Levi in time to see him wipe a smile off of his face with the back of his hand. She chuckled, amused by his poor subtly. "Up." Josie said, reaching out to him. "Up!" She repeated urgently. Levi looked to Dilan with confusion.
"What's up?" He asked, worried. Dilan chuckled. Up was the word Josie used when she wanted to be held.
"She wants you to hold her." Dilan shrugged, holding the child out to him. Levi looked reluctant.
"Up!" Josie sobbed, growing impatient. Levi made a face but took the girl from Dilan, holding her at an arms length. Dilan snickered as Josie frowned, squirming in the air and trying to get closer.
"Help." Levi gritted, silently panicking.
"Idiot." Dilan laughed, holding Josie closer so she could wrap her arms around his neck like she liked to do with everyone and then Dilan moved Levi's arms so he could hold her with some more support. She watched with a warm heart as Josie snuggled into him, smiling happily.
"Me like Grumpy." She giggled. Levi's eyes softened slightly and Dilan chuckled, smoothing down Josie's wild hair.
"Grumpy likes you too, Jo-Jo." She replied and Levi gave her a playful glare for the nickname. Dilan had a feeling it was going to stick.
"What now?" Levi asked after a moment. Dilan smiled, kissing the side of Josie's head before heading towards the door.
"Take a seat. I'm going to help Mrs Birch with the tea." She replied, walking away.
"Dil! Don't you dare leave me with it!" Levi hissed quietly. "Dil get back here!" He ordered. Dilan ignored him, laughing quietly to herself as she got into the kitchen where Josie senior was finishing with the tea.
"Need any help?" Dilan asked politely.
"We helped!" Clay grinned. Dilan smiled and crouched down to his height.
"Did you now?" She asked, equally excited.
"Yeah!" He replied happily. Dilan chuckled and ruffled his hair. Birch kids were freaking adorable.
"Thank you for offering, dear. Would you mind setting everything on the tray while I finish?" Josie asked. Dilan smiled and nodded, doing as told before picking up the tray. Josie set the teapot on it, next to the teacups, milk and sugar, before turning to the boys. "Why dont you two go play upstairs for a while so us adults can have our tea. Maybe if you're lucky Dilan will come play with you after." She suggested. The boy's eyes lit up and they looked at her with hope.
Dilan chuckled and nodded.
"I'll be up in a bit." She promised. They grinned.
"Okay!" They agreed before running upstairs. Dilan smiled after them.
Dilan and Josie moved back into the lounge, stopping short as they saw Levi sitting on the sofa with Jo-Jo snuggled into him. Her eyes were closed while she sucked her thumb, completely content. Dilan was surprised. Josie had never fallen asleep on a stranger before.
"Dil she's drooling. Drooling." Levi gritted quietly. Dilan cracked a smile as Mrs Birch chuckled quietly, setting down the tea on the table.
"Want me to take her?" Dilan whispered, stroking the baby's hair. Levi frowned slightly.
"No." He admitted. Dilan raised an amused eyebrow. Levi looked away. "What? You might wake the little brat up." He said dismissively.
Dilan rolled her eyes, knowing he was full of shit. Seems Jo-Jo could indeed crack anyone, even Levi.
"Sure." She replied sarcastically with a smirk, finding Josie's blanket and tucking it around her so she wouldn't get cold.
"Shut up brat." He mumbled without any real malice, looking at the baby with a small smile as she cuddled into him even more.
Dilan's heart warmed watching them and it was in that perfect moment that she just knew.
She loved him.
How had she never noticed before?
It was obvious really and it had been for a long time, but she had never allowed herself to commute it, pushed down every single clue that sprung up in her head. Perhaps the wall had set her straight. Being away from Levi that long put things into perspective. She loved that grumpy bastard and she loved him as more than a friend. The realisation pained her more than she would care to admit as she remembered the conversation after their shared kiss.
"Did that... did that mean something to you?" She asked.
"It can't, Dil." Levi whispered.
What did he mean back then? Was he saying it couldn't because he was her Captain? Or maybe he didn't actually have any feelings for her and the kiss was simply a drunken mistake that he wished he could take back the minute it finished. He was very vague. Dilan wracked her mind over this for a long time before coming to the conclusion that it didn't matter. Even if by some miracle that Levi liked her back it wouldn't make any difference. He made it perfectly clear that they couldn't happen. Nothing had really changed since the party and they had agreed never to speak of it again. Why would Dilan risk bringing it up and making things awkward just to get shot down? Sometimes love didn't conquer all. Sometimes you don't get what you want.
So, Dilan settled for what she had. It wasn't what she craved but it was all she needed. To be close to him, to have him as her best friend was enough. It was straining, she'll admit, but she pushed past it best she could.
It was a year after they been back in the wall that Eld brought up him and her again. He said he had tried to wait so that they could reconnect again, but he still felt just as strongly, and he hoped she did too. Dilan felt it was the healthy thing to do. She was in no way trying to substitute Levi with Eld but she knew it wasn't a good idea to continue pining. She took a healthy amount time to make sure she was doing this for the right reasons before accepting Eld's offer. Levi had made himself perfectly clear. Besides, he hadn't even so much as mentioned the kiss since it happened. He had probably forgotten about it altogether. She needed to try and move on.
So, when Eld asked on a date she said yes, asking that they take it slow. They went out for dinner and she had fun. Eld was her friend, why wouldn't she have fun? It was just hard to see him in that way.
They went on more dates and Dilan found herself caring about him more and more. He asked her to be his girlfriend and she said yes. They were happy. Eld told her he loved her after a while longer but... Dilan couldn't bring herself to say it back, unable to lie to him. Somehow Eld didnt seem to notice. It was very noisy in Sina that day. Perhaps he thought she had said it back? Dilan wasn't sure but she refused to lie to him. She knew no matter how much she cared for the blonde; her affections would always lie some place else. With someone else.
It made her feel guilty but she wasnt sure what to do about it. Moving on was a lot harder than it looked.
Maybe she just needed more time, it had only been a year since they were together.
And so... we're all caught up with the present. Dilan is 25, partner to Eld Gin and harbouring some very real feelings for her Captain but everyone is still alive. And all things considered, they were doing pretty well.
There was only one problem...
While Dilan and Eld had been together for a year... they still hadn't had sex.
Dilan couldn't bring herself to. She was terrified of the memories it could bring up, terrified she would freak out. Eld knew a lot about her past by now. He knew almost everything, even about her cutting and he was cool with it all. She just refrained from telling him about the times she was raped, unsure of how he'd handle it.
She thought she could push through and she had tried so many times. In fact, tonight was one of those nights that she promised herself she would stop being so weak and have sex with her boyfriend. Eld was actually supposed to be here any...
Knock, knock, knock.
Dilan looked up at the door as it was knocked on quietly. She took a breath, trying to calm her beating heart as she stood up and went to the door.
Eld had asked recently why they weren't having sex. Dilan couldn't come up with a reasonable response so she ended up telling him they would.
Soon.
Tonight, was the night and she couldn't deny the dread.
As soon as she opened the door, Eld was on her lips, kicking the door closed behind him and moving her backwards towards the bed. Dilan's eyes widened in surprise seeing how enthusiastic he was. It didn't make her nerves worse, but it didn't calm them either.
He gently shoved her so her back hit the bed and didn't waste any time crawling over her and kissing her again, hands already working on undoing her shirt. Dilan's breathing picked up but not in a good way. He was going too fast and it was freaking her out. She couldn't do this. She wasn't ready.
"Eld-" She tried to interrupt but her words were swallowed as he kissed her again. He undid another shirt button and Dilan's breath hitched. She pushed at his chest, panting as she was finally allowed air. "Eld." She warned, keeping her hands against his chest to make sure he didn't close the distance once again.
"What's wrong?" He asked, tilting his head slightly. He was clearly impatient and wanting to continue. He was not going to like what she was going to say next.
Dilan shifted from under him, sitting up on the bed and holding her shirt together. Eld sat up a bit too, looking at her with confusion. Dilan averted her eyes, feeling guilty. She didn't want to take this away from him again, but she just couldn't do it.
"I'm sorry, I-I'm-"
"Not ready right?" Eld cut her off in a harsh voice that surprised her. She looked at him, shocked to see anger on his face. "Seriously Dilan? Again? What is wrong with you?" He asked, frustrated as he stood from the bed.
Dilan swallowed, trying to ignore the hurt she felt from his words. There was plenty wrong with her and she had warned him of that from the beginning.
"We've been together for a fucking year! Do you still not trust me?!" He raised his voice angrily. Dilan didn't expect him to get this mad.
"I do, I do trust you, I-I just-"
"What is it? Religion? Marriage?" He continued, starting to pace slightly and gripping his hair in frustration. He had grown it out and it was back in its usual bun.
"No-"
"Well then why the fuck are you messing me around like this?! You keep saying you want to, then you change your mind just as quickly! Is it some sort of joke? Are you trying to fuck with my head?" He gritted and tears filled Dilan's eyes.
She didn't know what to say. Eld took a moment to calm down, sighing and looking at her with almost disappointment.
"Whatever. I'll see you tomorrow." Eld grumbled, opening the door and shutting it behind him with a little more force than necessary. Dilan breathed out shakily looking at her hands.
What is wrong with me?
LEVI'S P.O.V.
Levi sighed in annoyance, rubbing his face as he finally admitted defeat. He was not going to get any sleep tonight. With a roll of the eyes he got out of bed, raking a hand through his hair, he left his room. He decided a cup of tea would do him good, maybe calm him enough to get an hour or he'll be extra cranky tomorrow.
The last year had been... well... it wouldn't be going too far to call it agonising. His worst nightmares were realised and Dilan and Eld became a couple. His heart started to ache, and it hadn't stopped since, he had learnt to live with it.
Of course, they were never affectionate in public. Levi hadn't even seen them share a kiss to the date but just knowing they were together was enough to fill him with regret. Regret for not telling her when he had the chance because now... now it was too fucking late.
It took losing Dilan to another man completely to understand just how much he wanted to be with her, more than the things that kept them apart. It took losing her for three years to make him understand that those things he thought he couldn't give her were simple excuses. Because he wanted them too. He wanted the stupid house and the family. He wanted her. Because being near her just wasn't enough anymore. He wanted to give her his heart. He wanted to go back to that party and give her the 'yes'. He wanted to tell her just how much he loved her.
Alas, he was a dumbass and Dilan was taken.
Of course, they were still best friends. They still spent time together but not as much and it wasn't the same. Levi could no longer do the little things that meant so much to him.
They could no longer stay up all night on the roof since Eld slept in her room most nights. They could no longer play cards into the evening and get shitfaced since Eld would wonder where she was. They could no longer share a bed or give each other subtle affectionate gestures since she wasn't his and he wasn't hers. She was in a relationship now and Levi was still trying to accept it.
He doubted he ever would though. He was a spiteful bastard. In this case most of his spite was directed towards himself for waiting so long. He had loved the girl for 7 fucking years, he had plenty of chances.
He was the biggest idiot on the planet.
Getting downstairs and moving towards the kitchen, Levi blinked as he saw Eld's silhouette sitting in the dark with his head in his hands.
The fuck is he doing up? Levi thought with a frown as he got closer and Eld snapped his head up, noticing his presence and standing to attention.
Levi rolled his eyes.
"At ease, Gin. What are you doing sitting in the dark like a creepy stalker, huh?" Levi asked in a bored tone, walking over and lighting the oil lamp with a match. Eld sighed and rubbed his face, sitting back down.
"Things on my mind, sir." He replied in a depressed tone. Levi raised an eyebrow as he filled the kettle.
"Like?" He asked. He may hate the blonde because he was with Dilan, but he was still a squad mate and he needed sleep. Eld chuckled nervously.
"It's kind of personal, sir. I'm not sure it's appropriate to discuss with you." Eld admitted awkwardly. Levi put the kettle on the stove and leant back on the counter, looking at his subordinate and crossing his arms.
"Well we're both off duty. Try me." He shrugged. Eld looked awkward. "It wasn't an order. I'm simply giving you the option to talk rather than sitting here in the dark by yourself, looking stupid." He added. Eld cracked a tired smile and sighed.
"I guess..." He started and Levi listened. "I'm sure your aware, me and Dilan have been together for a year now." He explained and Levi tensed a bit.
Aware is a fucking understatement. Your relationships been haunting me for a long-time pal. You're fucking the love of my life. He thought with an internal scoff. But he didn't say any of that out loud and simply nodded.
"Well..." He swallowed. "In all that time... we've never... gotten physical, if you get what I mean." Eld explained and Levi had to will the shock not to show on his face.
He didn't know he could feel so much relief from one sentence. Maybe you aren't fucking the love of my life. Still he said nothing and Eld went on.
"It was fine with me and I guess Dilan needed time, but it's been a year and whenever things started getting heated, she always pulls away. I don't know, I just felt frustrated and I asked her why she was messing me around. It was stupid to yell at her, I know but-" Eld said in a regretful tone but Levi cut him off, positively infuriated.
"Wait. You fucking yelled at her?" He hissed. Eld looked up at him, confused by his aggression.
"Yeah, well. We had a fight-"
"You piece of shit." Levi spat, turning on his heel. The tea was long forgotten as he raced up the stairs as quietly as possible, not wanting to alert the rest of the household.
Dilan must be crushed. She couldn't help how she felt about sex, given her previous experience with it. Eld had no fucking right to pressure her or ask her why she was messing him around. Once Levi was sure Dilan was okay, Eld was going to get a black eye for sure.
Levi checked her room first, finding it empty. He ran up to the roof, opening the door and looking for her. He was pretty sure his heart broke as he saw the brat sitting on the floor with her head in her knees. Shaky hands were gripping her hair as she sobbed quietly.
Taking a moment to compose himself he gently closed the door behind him and walked over to his best friend, who looked up at him with teary orange eyes.
"M-me and Eld had a fight." She choked out a shaky whisper. Levi sat down and pulled her into a hug, his heart lurching as Dilan clung onto him and cried into his shoulder.
"Shh, I know brat. He told me what happened." He soothed, gently rubbing her back. Dilan sniffed.
"I t-tried... I just c-couldn't bear it..." She explained, guilt in her voice. Levi was so fucking angry at blondie right now he was barely keeping himself from exploding. But he pushed the anger away for now. Dilan needed him to be there for her, not be angry at her boyfriend.
That could come later.
Levi pulled back to look her in the eye, gently wiping the tears off of her face with his thumbs.
"Listen to me. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. It's your body and no one else has any fucking right to tell you what to do with it. You don't have to try, brat. If you're not ready, that's final. If you're never ready, then that's final too. If he loves you, he'll understand that." Levi said gently, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone in a moment of weakness. Dilan sniffed, blinking out a few more tears.
"H-he just seemed so angry... I felt l-like I was wrong, like maybe I'm too fucked up to be with him. H-he made me feel like I was making him unhappy. I-I can't help it, I want to... but I just can't." She explained through a teary voice and Levi hadn't ever more pissed in his life, but he didn't show it on his face.
"I know brat. Shh, it's okay. Come here." Levi pulled her into a hug and Dilan relaxed a bit, leaning into him and breathing out shakily. "You didn't do anything wrong. Got that?" He comforted. Dilan nodded and he held her close while she calmed down. He hated it when she was upset. It was like a physical pain erupted in his whole chest. Levi looked up as the roof door opened in time to see Eld come through and spot them.
"Captain is that... shit, Dilan, baby I'm so sorry." He tried, his face immediately twisting in guilt as he saw the extent his words had affected his girlfriend. Levi didn't fail to notice the way Dilan tensed when he spoke and hid her face from him.
"She's fine, asshat. Piss off." Levi growled, barely controlling his temper. God, he wanted to throw this shit off the roof. A slight anger and jealousy flashed through the blonde's eyes as he saw Dilan clinging onto Levi like he was her only lifeline.
Levi couldn't deny the joy it brought him.
That's right punk. Feel how I feel every single fucking day. He couldn't stop his thoughts from thinking.
"Captain, I don't think this is any of your business. I'd like to talk to my girlfriend alone." Eld said firmly, clearly finding it hard to be respectful. Dilan tensed even more and gripped the back of Levi's t-shirt with shaky fists, silently begging him to stay. There was no way in hell Levi was denying her.
"I'd say your absolute stupidity is my business, Gin. I'm going to give you 5 seconds to get off of this roof before I stop holding back and show you how pissed I am right now." Levi warned in a low voice, his voice just managing to stay even to avoid showing his impending anger.
Eld swallowed and shifted slightly but didn't move.
"That was an order cadet. Get the fuck back to your room. Now." Levi glared daggers at the blonde and he flinched slightly, looking at Dilan, who was still hiding in Levi's shoulder, before reluctantly retreating, disappearing behind the roof door.
Levi heard the bastard's footsteps as he stomped down the stairs and walked away. Only then did Dilan choke out the sob she had clearly been holding back.
"I-I'm sorry." She whispered, shakily. Levi blinked back the tears as he listened to the anguish of the woman he loved.
"Don't be." He whispered back, stroking her hair and noticing it calmed her down a bit. "Don't be sorry, brat." He reassured, holding her close.
They stayed like that for a while as Dilan's crying died down and her breathing evened out.
Eventually, Levi moved her head a bit from where it was leaning into his shoulder, seeing her tear streaked face and her closed eyes. Poor brat had passed out.
Levi sighed, adjusting her slightly to pick her up, heading down from the roof and into her bedroom. He had carried her to bed a number of times when she had just quit cutting as she normally ended up passing out. He hadn't done it in a while though. With a boyfriend, she didn't need him as much. It was just the way it is, even if the fact pained his heart.
Levi set her down gently in bed, pulling the covers up to her chin and gently wiping the tear trails off of her face. He tucked some hair behind her ear and let himself have one small indulgence before he left, leaning down to kiss the brat's forehead. His heart warmed as Dilan's face seemed to relax a bit and she smoothed her cheek on the pillow.
Levi hesitated before leaving her room, closing the door behind him. He would deal with the blonde shit tomorrow. How Eld could yell at Dilan for something like that was beyond him. Levi wished the brat had someone who deserved her and got how amazing she was. He wished things were different. He wished he could be that person for her.
Sighing, Levi walked back up to his room, flopping onto his bed, closing his eyes and giving into sleep. He had never been more emotionally exhausted.
DILAN'S P.O.V.
Dilan woke to a warm hand stroking her cheek. She blinked open her amber eyes, tensing slightly as Eld was sitting on the edge of her bed looking down at her. Dilan swallowed, cursing herself for such a reaction. Eld was her boyfriend. Who else was she expecting to wake her up in such a way?
She didn't dare answer that question.
"Morning." He smiled. Dilan sat up, looking at him cautiously. He had really fucked up her head last night. Eld sighed, seeing her reservations towards him. "Dil, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have pushed, and I shouldn't have said such horrible things to you. The honest, embarrassing, truth is I'm horny as fuck. But that isn't your fault and if you aren't ready, we'll wait until you are." He said seriously. Dilan realised a silent breath of relief, calming down a bit.
She offered him a small smile.
"Thanks. I'm sorry too, I just need a little more time." Dilan replied and Eld smiled, nodding in understanding.
"Totally cool." He stood, stretching a bit. Dilan nodded, glad that was settled for now. She stood up and moved to her wardrobe to get some clothes, turning when she heard a sigh behind her.
"Something wrong?" She asked. Eld frowned slightly.
"Look, I didn't want to bring it up but-" Eld took her hand and brought her back over, they both sat down on the end of the bed. Dilan nodded for him to continue. "Last night... with the Captain..." Eld trailed off and Dilan's eyes widened a fraction as she remembered the night before.
Eld had walked in seeing Dilan hugging Levi, tightly. She couldn't help it. She was spiralling and Levi grounded her. He always grounded her, and she needed him close.
Still, Eld must be slightly confused.
"Oh. Yeah I guess-" She mumbled.
"It was just weird. He completely lashed out when I told him what happened. It was really none of his business. Why would he search for you? And then... hug you?" Eld frowned a bit more, suspiciousness leaking into his tone. Dilan sighed.
She would have to tell him the truth.
"Eld, he just gets protective and-"
"Protective?!" Eld jumped in and Dilan clenched her jaw. Why would he not let her finish?
"Yes! Protective! Let me finish my fucking sentence." She hissed. Eld scoffed quietly but remained silent. She took a breath before continuing. "You have to realise. Me and Levi have been friends for a long time."
"Friends? Since when do you call him Levi?!"
"Since always Eld! I've known him for 8 years. He's always been there for me and I consider him my best friend. I know it doesn't seem like it since we have to act professional around the squad, but he's like family. I'm family to him too, so naturally he gets protective." Dilan explained calmly.
Eld didn't seem to get it.
"Why have you never told me this? How can you be best friends with that robot? He's just a cold miserable bastard." Eld hissed and Dilan frowned, feeling a burst of protectiveness.
"That cold miserable bastard as done everything for this squad, for you included. All the training, all the late nights of paperwork, all the boring meetings. How many times has he saved your life on the field, Eld?" Dilan growled, standing up. "He's not a robot. He's human. He cares and he has feelings and I will not let you talk about him in such a way." Dilan said firmly, crossing her arms.
Eld took a moment before backing down.
"Fine, I'm sorry, I'll let it go. Just answer me one question... has anything ever happened between you two?" Eld asked seriously. Dilan hesitated before answering.
"No." She lied. Eld was the jealous type. Nothing good would come out of him finding out about their kiss. It was 5 years ago anyway and they weren't together at the time. It was quite-fucking-frankly none of his business.
Eld sighed in relief.
"Okay. As long as your just friends, I guess it's fine." He shrugged, getting up and kissing her on the cheek. Dilan supressed a frown. What so if he didn't like it, she was supposed to stop being friends with Levi or something? He doesn't control her. "We good?" He asked with a smile. Dilan swallowed down her words, not wanting the fight to continue. She found herself repressing what she wanted to say a lot these days.
"Yeah." She confirmed, forcing a small smile back. Eld nodded before leaving her room to wait outside like he normally did while she got changed.
Dilan got changed in her uniform quickly, did her hair and met Eld outside. They walked down the stairs and honestly Dilan had forgotten they still had one major problem to deal with. Her very grumpy, very protective best friend.
As soon as they reached the last step, Levi materialised out of nowhere, grabbing Dilan's wrist and pulling her towards his office. Not without sending Eld a furious glare that made the man pale.
Still, he managed to find some courage.
"Hey, sir-!" Eld protested but Levi ignored him completely. He pulled Dilan inside his office, shut the door with a small slam and locked it for good measure. Dilan swallowed.
Her friend looked pissed.
"Please do not tell me you are still with that human pile of shit after last night." Levi asked straight up. His face was serious, his arms were crossed, and he was tapping his foot impatiently. Dilan sighed.
She should have expected this.
"Levi, it was a mistake. Eld apologised." She replied. Levi frowned deeper.
"It doesn't change what he said or tried to force you into. It doesn't change how he hurt you, Dilan. 5 years ago, you asked for my opinion and I told you that if he hurt you, I would put his ass in the ground. He fucking hurt you." Levi gritted but Dilan knew his anger wasn't directed to her. Dilan knew she had to calm him down before he ended up storming out there and smashing Eld's face in.
She took a step towards him and offered a small smile.
"I know. But, Levi, everyone makes mistakes. I never told him about what happened to me. From his perspective it probably was rather frustrating how I kept changing my mind." She explained calmly. Levi looked reluctant to agree. "Do you remember what else you told me 5 years ago? You told me I should do what makes me happy." She reminded. Levi's eyes softened a bit, the tension seeping out of his frame.
"And he still makes you happy?" Levi asked seriously. Dilan faltered slightly. Was she happy?
"Yes." She decided to go with, not exactly sure if it was the truth or not. She knew she had been relatively happy with Eld at one point. No, he wasn't Levi, but he was a good guy and they had fun.
But they had been fighting a lot more these days and he had grown pretty possessive over her. He'd changed quite a bit. He wasn't Greenie anymore. Was it really all about sex? What if she could never go through with it? What if because of her issues she would end up alone forever? Or worse, what if Eld chose to stay with her and ended up resenting her for not giving him what he wants.
"Dilan." Levi broke her out of her spiralling thoughts, and she looked to see he was closer to her now. Her amber eyes locked with his steel grey and Dilan felt herself melt a bit on the inside. "You would... tell me if you were unhappy right?" Levi asked in a softer voice. Dilan's heart started to pulse, and she had to subtly shove her hands in her pockets to stop from reaching out to him.
"With Eld?" Dilan asked, practically a whisper.
"With everything. With... how things are." Levi continued, getting a little closer if that was possible. Dilan wet her lips, not being able to tear her eyes away from him. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her head telling her to shut this down now. She had a very real boyfriend just outside and she was standing unnecessarily close to a man, said boyfriend had just asked her if he should be worried about. But the longer she looked in Levi's eyes the more that nagging feeling started to blur. What did he even ask?
A firm knock on the door snapped them both out of it and Dilan had to refrain from flinching.
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS WAY TOO CLOSE! She thought to herself in a slight horror as she slowed her breathing. Levi shook his head slightly, seemingly as disoriented as herself, blinking forcefully as he walked back around to his desk and sat in his chair.
"Come in." Levi ordered in his normal monotoned voice. Dilan stood awkwardly, unsure what to do with herself. Were they really not going to talk about what just happened? Perhaps that was a good call.
The door opened and Petra came in, holding out a file to Levi.
"A cadet just brought this in, Captain. I think it's the report from the section commander." Petra explained. Levi nodded, taking the file and setting it down among other high piles. Petra smiled at Dilan and left the room again. The silence was tense to say the least. Dilan cleared her throat, desperately pushing down a blush.
"I, um, should go and-uh- get them ready for training." Dilan got there eventually, not waiting for his response before escaping out of the door and closing it behind her with a long sigh, leaning back on it. That was too close. No matter how much she wanted it deep down, she knew she couldn't let herself go there.
But she couldn't deny how fucking exhilarating the thought of Levi liking her back was. She knew there was a spark five years ago at the Christmas eve ball but that didn't mean Levi had ever had real feelings for her. Maybe he just got caught up in the moment? Or maybe she made something out of nothing. Yeah, that was probably it.
Dilan shook her head firmly and head towards the kitchen. Damn her and her deep-rooted feelings that couldn't seem to fuck off.
LEVI'S P.O.V.
As soon as Dilan was gone Levi let out a small groan of annoyance and dropped his head on his desk.
"Fuck." He hissed under his breath. How idiotic was he? Why the hell was he asking her such stupid questions? Why the hell was he getting that close to her? He had almost lost his resolve. A few more seconds and he would have kissed her. He would have ruined everything.
Levi sighed, sitting back up again. He tried hard but eventually the thought broke through. Did she want him to kiss her? That look on her face... Levi had seen it a few times over the years when things got intense. Was the possibility there that Dilan liked him back? That she wanted him just as much as he wanted her? Levi didn't know if he would be able to take it if she did. He didn't know if he would be able to take how much time they had lost just because of his own stupidity. How much of that time he could have spent holding her, kissing her, telling her he loved her? He didn't want much else. He didn't need her body; he just wanted her. He wanted her with his whole heart.
Levi closed his eyes, shaking his head of the thoughts. It was a nice fantasy but that's all it was. Dilan had a boyfriend who she was happy with. She didn't like him back. He was alone in his feelings and he would be until the day he died because he knew this was it for him. 7 years was long enough to know. He was only made for one woman. Just his luck that she didn't feel the same way.
With a humourless chuckle, Levi stood up from his desk, his head low. He swallowed down his emotion and steeled himself like he always did before leaving his office ready to work like nothing happened.
DILAN'S P.O.V.
"Ugh! Fucking children, the lot of them!" Dilan complained to herself for the 10th time as she walked towards campus, ready to explode. She prayed for anyone that valued their lives not to cross her right now. She was flaming.
"Ah, Dilan, how are you-" Mike started as she turned a corner and walked past him in the hallway. Dilan pressed on; she didn't have time for conversation.
"Not now Mike!" She practically growled. Mike nodded and continued on his way.
"Roger that." He mumbled. Dilan ignored him gritting her teeth as she stormed down the last hall and into the infirmary, ready to blow.
"Hanji!" She yelled. There was a slight yelp and she looked into the infirmary, seeing Hanji in the infirmary with Nanaba, a needle in the blonde woman's arm and her face scrunched up in pain.
"Sorry Nanaba." Hanji apologised, taking the needle out before pushing it back in at a nicer angle, injecting the fluid.
"Afternoon Major." Nanaba smiled. Dilan gave a half assed smile in return, not correcting her on the title. Everyone in her old taskforce continued to call her Major no many times she corrected them. She had given up by now.
"You alright Dil?" Hanji asked, putting a plaster over Nanaba's arm.
"Uh-huh. Yep." She replied dismissively. Both women raised an eyebrow at her.
"You sure, Dilan?" Nanaba asked. It was only then that Dilan realised she was pacing. She stopped so abruptly the others flinched at her precision.
"...yes?" She mumbled; she wasn't so sure. Everything was a mess. "Sorry, you're busy." Dilan suddenly didn't feel like talking about it and turned on her heel. Hanji rushed to grab her arm and pulled her back in.
"No way. You're talking about it. What happened?" She asked. Dilan glanced over to Nanaba as she pulled down her shirt sleeve. The woman offered her a smile.
"I'll go if you want but I have been told I give very good advice and I'm great at keeping secrets." Nanaba offered with a cheeky grin. Dilan cracked a tired smile and sat down on the end of a bed, in front of them. She had known Nanaba for a while, she knew she could be trusted not to gossip.
"So... what happened?" Hanji encouraged, looking slightly concerned. Dilan sighed, realising now she had to start talking.
"Well last night... some stuff happened that I'd rather not get into." She started awkwardly. "And then I sorted it out this morning and I thought it was dealt with... but those two idiots wouldn't let it go! Men always have to have the last word don't they?" Dilan huffed, back to anger as she crossed her arms. The women blinked, rightly confused.
Dilan guess she had been pretty vague.
"Okay... we need some more information here. What happened last night? Who are the idiots and what happened today?" Nanaba asked. Dilan sighed, raking a hand through her hair.
"Last night me and Eld got in a fight. Levi found out and got... protective-" She elected to say, and both their eyes widened.
"Oh shit! Is Eld dead!?" Hanji yelled. Dilan made a face.
"What? No, nothing happened! It was fine, Levi just threatened him." She assured and both of them sighed. Threatening someone was pretty low on Levi's anger scale. They both knew that.
Nanaba had actually known Levi for a long time. They weren't close but they were in the same squad at a time before she got promoted elsewhere. She knew what he was like and she knew how close him, and Dilan were. Dilan had told the woman a lot about herself on the wall. Including her grumpy-ass best friend.
"So, what happened then?" Nanaba asked.
"Well this morning I smoothed things over with both of them and I thought that was the end of it... until training." She gritted, taking a breath to calm herself down.
They cringed, guessing this was not going to be good.
"It was little things at first. Levi put me with everyone but Eld during training. He made Eld run 40 laps instead of 15 like everyone else because he said his 'form was off'. He made Eld do 100 push ups for an inefficient titan kill. Now while, these are all very Levi things, it was very obvious to everyone that he was being punished. It was only the three of us that knew why. I told him during break to quit it, and that the rest of the squad were starting to notice but he claimed he had no idea what I was talking about. Then of course, Eld starts whining about it to me, telling me how the Captain was just being petty. Somehow, I managed to block him out and then break was over. The punishments continued. And do you know what Eld tries to do to get his own back?" She asked.
They shook their heads.
"The idiot grabbed me in the middle of training and kissed me!" She exclaimed, positively infuriated. "We promised no matter what we would never display affection in public. That was my only fucking rule! And he broke that to mark his territory last some sort of sad possessive shit, just because I told him that me and Levi were friends!" She scoffed, rubbing her face. They frowned.
"Ass." Nanaba commented. Dilan nodded in agreement.
"Then what happened?" Hanji asked.
"Well, I pushed him back obviously, asking what the fuck he thought he was doing. We were in the middle of the session and everyone was watching. Do you know what the fucker does?" She chuckled humourlessly, so angry she could barely believe it. "He tells me to just go along with it and kisses me again! Ugh, I can't believe him." She groaned, rubbing her face. Hanji smiled sadly and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Men are difficult-" She started but Dilan cut her off. She wasn't finished.
"There's more." She sighed. "This time when I tried to push him back, Eld didn't budge. He pulled me closer. I don't know what the dumbass was thinking but I don't think he factored in just how protective Levi gets." Dilan added and their eyes widened again.
"Oh no." Hanji said. Dilan nodded.
"Yup. The next thing I knew Levi had pulled Eld back and punched him straight in the face. He was fully ready to kill, and I only managed to pull him back before Eld got his face smashed in by Levi's boot. Why would he do something so stupid!?" She complained aloud, flopping backwards onto the bed and staring up at the ceiling.
"Eld or Levi?" Nanaba asked. Dilan sat up a bit to give her a deadpan look.
"Both." She mumbled. Hanji sighed.
"This is problematic. It's against the rules for Levi to harm a subordinate. Eld could file a complaint against him." She pointed out, slightly worried. Dilan sighed.
"Already been there. Once I got the others to help Eld up and take him back inside since he was half passed out. Once it was just me and Levi I didn't hesitate to tell him what an idiot he was."
"Levi what the fuck!?" Dilan yelled, fisting her hair in frustration. Levi gave her a bored glance, crossing his arms like he didn't just deck someone five seconds previous.
"What?" He asked, nonchalantly. Dilan gaped at him.
"What? What?! You just fucking punched a subordinate!" She exclaimed, completely infuriated. Levi looked unapologetic.
"He was hurting you." Levi shrugged. Dilan took a breath to calm herself down, rubbing her forehead.
"Look. Eld may have been a major ass back there and I will not be letting that go easy, but he only did what he did because he felt the need to get back at you for fucking him around all day and punishing him. There are rules about what you just did Levi! If Eld decides to file a complaint you could be demoted." She said in a calmer but still very pissed off voice. Levi frowned.
"He deserved it. If he wanted to get a rise out of me and piss me off then that's his dumbass choice and I won't retaliate but when he hurts you, that's when he's crossed the line and that's when the rules don't apply anymore." Levi said seriously. Dilan sighed and shook her head.
"I don't need you to protect me. You need to get your priorities straight and stop interfering in my relationship!" She hissed. Levi clenched his jaw.
"I didn't see you complaining last night when you practically begged me to stay." He retorted, taking a step closer to her and Dilan swallowed. She wasn't exactly sure what to say to that. Yes, she did practically beg him to stay. She was crumbling. "You needed me then. You needed me, not Eld." He pressed, taking another step so they were much closer now and Dilan's heart was starting to pound. She didn't know how to reply. "You don't want to be with him, Dilan. Admit it." He demanded, his face firm and his eyes full of passion. Dilan swallowed again. Why was he doing this to her? What was he getting out of trying to confuse her like this?
"Stop it, Levi." She manged to say, walking around him and blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over the edge. She was quick to get on her horse and ride towards headquarters, needing desperately to get away from the pair of them. Why were guys so possessive?
Dilan sighed and laid back down again. She left out most of her conversation with Levi when explaining it to the girls since it was kind of intense and they would take it the wrong way.
"Men are assholes." Nanaba commented, slouching in her chair. Dilan chuckled.
"You can say that again." She mumbled. She felt a lot calmer now she had ranted about it. Weird. It was normally Levi she ranted too. She couldn't deny she preferred it that way, but she couldn't very well rant to Levi about himself.
"You're going to have to do damage control on this one, Dil. We can't let Eld submit a report." Hanji said seriously. Dilan sighed, knowing she was right. As much as she was pissed at Levi, she would never let him get demoted. Eld may be her boyfriend but technically he did provoke him purposefully. Levi was only protecting her and most importantly... Levi had her loyalty. It made her guilty to admit it, but he would always come first if she had to choose between backing him or Eld. Something she would only ever admit to herself.
"I know. I'll sort it somehow. Honestly, I could use a break from them both. Any room in your squad Nanaba?" She asked, sitting up again. Nanaba laughed.
"Sorry, no. But it wouldn't feel right giving you orders anyway." She mentioned with a smile. Dilan chuckled and stood up.
"Thanks for listening. Sorry I barged in here." She apologised. They smiled back and stood up too.
"No worries Dil. You can always come to one of us when the squads on your nerves. Shorty can be a lot sometimes." Hanji said with a chuckled. Dilan laughed. That he could.
"You'll figure it out, Dil. I'm sure of it." Nanaba said, patting Dilan on the shoulder before heading towards the door. Dilan laughed a bit.
"Great advice, indeed." She teased with a smirk. Nanaba chuckled, giving her a playful glare before leaving the infirmary. Dilan sighed, not wanting to go back.
"Take it easy on Levi, Dil. He means well." Hanji said suddenly and Dilan blinked at the seriousness behind her tone. Hanji moved on before she could reply. "Well! Better get cleared up. You should get back to the squad, it's barely past lunch." She pointed out with a smile, messily collecting up some papers. Dilan huffed, annoyed that the crazy scientist was right.
"Okay." She pouted. Hanji chuckled and pat her on the head.
"You'll figure it out, Dilan. I know, deep down, you know what to do." Hanji said with a smile in that same serious tone. Dilan felt like there was a heavy weight behind her words and opened her mouth to ask what she meant but Hanji walked away before she could into her lab. Dilan looked in her direction for a moment before sighing and heading back outside. She really was not ready to go back.
"Great, you're here." Nanaba grinned. Dilan blinked. She was still here?
"Huh?" She asked. The woman laughed.
"I meant it when I said I give great advice. I just couldn't do it in front of Hanji since that would seem unprofessional. What you need is a day out. I took the day off and I'm planning to head the Rose farming districts to see Josie and then get hammered at a bar. You in?" She asked with a smirk. Dilan smirked back, her spirits lifting considerably.
"Hell yes." She replied and Nanaba laughed, putting an arm around her shoulder, they were quick to walk to the stables. The squad would be able to cope without her for a day, right?
A/N: So, granted you hate me by now right?
I did tell you, you would.
Some of you had some crazy ideas on what I was warning you about, lol. Although considering my track record they really weren't that far fetched. That idea about putting Dilan in prison for the remainder of the two years is totally something I would have done. I'm wondering if people think this is more cruel or not?
But I am going to make you three promises, considering people had expressed their concern about this before when they thought I might be putting Eld and Dilan into a relationship.
1. Dilan and Levi will get together before the female titan kills the squad. Eld's death wont be the thing that pushes them together. I didn't like the idea of that and I know some of you felt the same.
2. Eld and Dilan will not be on bad terms before the end. The death of the squad are going to be hard enough on her without her having regrets concerning Eld. I'm not going to make Dilan go through that, don't worry. I'm not that evil.
3. Dilan will not cheat on Eld with Levi. That's not how I want them to start their relationship either.
If you're wondering why I put them together, there were a few reasons. Dilan's part of the story with Eld never ended. There was no closure. Just because they were separated for 3 years doesn't mean the things Eld wanted just disappeared and it wasn't like he was never going to ask her out again. I also wanted Dilan to experience a relationship because she wanted to know what it felt like and Levi wasn't stepping up to give that experience to her.
Eld and her have been relatively happy in the past year, I'm just setting this next part of the story at the beginning of Canon where they are starting to have a few problems. One being, Eld is frustrated and horny and starting to act like a possessive prick because he's so pent up. Two being, Dilan can't really give herself to him because her heart belongs somewhere else, no matter how guilty it makes her feel.
Another reason I put them together was to finally shove Levi into that obvious realisation. He was being a coward and he could give her everything she wanted, everything they both wanted. It took seeing her with someone else to make him realise friends was not enough for him. While I don't think this is the only thing that made Levi decide he wanted her more than his fears, it is the thing that tipped him over the edge. (Another thing was seeing her with baby Josie. We all know he found that super adorable and it gave him a lot of feelings. Dilan's a cute mum).
Levi got a bit possessive in this chapter as well. Emotions are bubbling over for the both of them. It wont be long now. But no matter what he feels, no one is touching his best friend like that without her consent. Those are just the rules for both of them. We saw this with Dilan and that Charity bitch at the party 5 years before. It's an unspoken rule between them. Jealousy aside, they have each other's backs.
On a brighter note are we seeing the progress people?! After 8 years Dilan, the oblivious idiot, finally understands. Took her long enough, lol. the annoying thing is that because they are so similar she's hiding it too. They are too fucking stubborn.
So, I am sure you hate me but I hope you keep reading anyway. I am pretty happy with how this chapter turned out. Trust me, okay? Besides, you only have 5 chapters left, you've come this far!
Thanks for reading and commenting (feel free to rant about your frustrations with me, lol)! Stay safe! X