Chapter 53

Ayla POV

It's been nearly a week since the Doctor took off the bracelet. And as predicted, I reacted the same way as I did the last time the bond was blocked.

I have been really emotional, I cried… a lot.

The moment he took it off, it was like a rubber band that was pulled close to a breaking point and then snapped back in the most painful way possible. I wasn't the only one who felt this way. The Doctor experienced just as much backlash as I did, we were both on our knees within moments the bond snapped back, both fighting mentally to help stabilize the bond.

I blacked out for a few hours and when I woke up, the Doctor was asleep in the chair next to my bed.

For the first time in years I felt complete again. I felt stable.

"What are you thinking about?" The Doctor asks.

"Just about this week, how it's been with the bond. I'm amazed at how…um… what's the word? 'Whole' I feel. It's strange. I never knew I needed it as much as when I didn't have it, especially with the Master. He tried to guide me, but still, it's not the same. I feel more in control of my mind, more focused" I tell him about my own revelation.

"That's one of the main reasons there is a parenting bond, to help stabilize the mind of the time tot. Your mind is still expanding, growing not only physically but mentally, psychically, emotionally. Your mind is vulnerable during this development period and I can protect you from not only your mind but from the mind of others'"

"I understand it, but I still don't like you in my mind," I tell him dramatically, putting my nose in the air in a snobbish way.

"Are you hungry?" he asks.

"Yes. I'm starving. I need some pizza in my life."

"Pizza?" he raises an eyebrow.

"What? I am in the mood for pizza. And ice-cream. And maybe ice-cream on pizza, I wonder what that would taste like," I say and he makes a disgusted face.

"You are not eating that, that's disgusting," is all he said, heading for the kitchen.

"We'll see," I reply with a smirk.

An hour later I walk out of the kitchen with a green looking face. Ice-cream and pizza really don't work.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Donna asks concerned, heading towards the kitchen herself.

She found it weird enough in the beginning that the Doctor and I had a psychic bond, but the level of weirdness rose to such an extent that she questioned life itself when my bracelet was removed and saw the full effect of our connection in the works.

"I was curious about how pizza would taste with ice cream as a topping," I reply.

"Oh, I see. I could've told ya that it would be a bad idea. If your curiosity strikes next time, feel free to ask me, I've done a lot of stupid things in my life. How is the Doctor treating you?" Donna says.

"Uh…thanks I guess. The Doctor is treating fine. We're getting along mostly. Sometimes I snap at him or vice versa."

"Well, just call me and I'll set him straight for ya, alright?" she says.

"Thanks Donna, I'll tell you if I need your help."

Doctor POV

I stare at the melting pizza in disgust.

This should be illegal. How did I let her convince me to make her such an atrocious piece of…argh? I know this is a massive trend in the 31st Century on Earth but it's disgusting.

"Hay Martian, when are we going somewhere again? As much as I like exploring the ship, I did not come aboard to see the inside of these walls but to see the outside of these walls when you do your alien flying things. Besides, it'll do you and Ayla good to get out of here" Donna says, sitting down at the counter, staring at the melting thing.

All it's good for is melting, I think before answering Donna.

"We can go somewhere soon, maybe tomorrow or the day after. It depends on Ayla. We can do something safe and boring for now. I don't think Ayla is ready to leave the TARDIS yet"

"But she's been doing fine the past few days. She seems normal enough for me," Donna responds.

"She seems normal, but she's not. Mentally she's fine for now, until you put her in an unsafe environment like 'outside the TARDIS', Mentally and emotionally she's not fine. She's coping as best she can, and she's doing alright for someone who has been through what she has. I don't want to risk it. I can literally feel her emotions, her psyche. I feel all her insecurities regarding a lot of things, she's hiding it really well though"

"But she was fine with you, she took the bracelet off and embraced the bondy thing that you two have" Donna replies.

"That was the first step, yes, but the bond was pulled to such an extent that she had no good way to deal with all her emotions, all the trauma she faced with the Cyber-men, Daleks, the loss of Rose and Jackie, waking up to the Master, feeling betrayed, being forced away from the bond for such a long time she bottled it up, catalogued it away, she tried to cope in and on her own way, but her walls are cracked because there is only so much that she can lock away until the walls crash.

I blame myself for it, if only I had taken her out of stasis sooner, I might've been able to spare her this. I could've spared her this trauma, showed her how to deal with it in a good way. Not that I am a prime example of dealing with things properly, but I can teach her how to be better than me. I don't know if I can do this" I confide in Donna.

"Stop that. Stop thinking 'bout 'what ifs'. This happened, you caused most of it. Yes, but Ayla has forgiven you, hasn't she?" I confirm with a nod, "Well then you should start forgiving yourself, you're too mopey, this ain't good for her spaceman. She needs you, you can do this. If you say she ain't ready then we stay here and watch some tele."

"Thanks Donna, I needed to hear that," I reply.

"Anytime, Spaceman," she says.

Ayla POV

I'm frustrated, but things have been going better. The doctor has been really graceful, he's been there and have given me space when I asked for it (mentally more than anything).

The Doctor and Donna left for a small adventure. Donna was dressed in a flapper dress, ready for the 20's.

While Donna got ready for the new era, the doctor and I had a talk,

"Are you sure you want to stay Ayla?" The doctor asks concerned.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm not ready to leave the TARDIS just yet," I reply.

"I'm proud of you, Ayla," he says, smiling.

"Uh, thanks. Why?" I ask, not sure why he said that. I haven't done anything pride-worthy.

"Because you can admit when you're not ready to leave the TARDIS. Years ago you couldn't do that. It means you're growing up," he tells me.

"I was grown up when I met you," I state stubbornly, and then smile at him.

"Sure you were," he replies with a crinkle in his eyes.

"Can you believe that a few years ago I met you and I had no idea what was happening, and I didn't believe that I was from Gallifrey. You convinced me that I was. You took me in, at the time I was ungrateful. I hated and loved it. Now I can't imagine my life without you in it. You're my dad," I say, sounding sappy.

"I can't imagine my life without you either Ayla. You're my daughter. You've always been my daughter since the first moment I set my eyes on you. I will always love you no matter what."

"I love you too, dad."