Chapter 54: The Dam Breaks

The water continued to pelt his bare skin; with it, washing away some of the fear and frustration he had been holding in for days. How many days? He had no idea. Nights and days blurred together until he was unable to distinguish one day from the next.

They kept making him sleep. So how was he supposed to keep up with what time it was?... What day it was? If they only knew what sleep did to him… how much he dreaded it… the flood of unwelcomed memories… the nightmares.

His eyes stung as he stopped fighting back the tears. A sudden pain ripped through his side. Then he was aware of the cold, hard tile beneath him.

It was that medicine they kept bringing him. That's why he was sleeping so much. It was making his thoughts all jumbled up… his memory foggy.

But, at least, that sluggish feeling would numb him from the raging emotions he was trying to keep in place. He wanted to throw something. Shoot something. Disappear. Anything to ease the forest of unfamiliar feelings that this entire situation had him lost in.

Why were they keeping him here? He wished he could just get up and walk out of this place… go home… to be left alone.

"Alone" is how he operated… it's all he had ever known. Survivors learn to take care of themselves. No attachments… Nothing permanent… He didn't need anyone. It was better that way. It doesn't hurt so bad when they leave you – or when you are forced to leave them.

Callen felt himself shaking even more. And then he heard a sob… His own sob. No! He couldn't let himself be heard. It suddenly felt like his chest was being crushed. He tried, desperately, to take in a breath as another sharp pain shot through his ribs.

He hated this! Not so much the pain; he could deal with that. It was the dependency… the helplessness. The simplest things… things a child should be able to do… It was frustrating… Humiliating.

The water cascading over his body was warm; almost hot. Yet he continued to shiver uncontrollably.

Why was he so cold?!

He just wanted it to stop… wanted EVERYTHING to stop.

X

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"He's been in there way too long."

"Give him a few more minutes, Mr. Hanna" Hetty said from where she sat poised on the small couch.

"But…"

"Shush," Hetty cut him off with a quick fling of her hand in the air.

Sam shook his head. He couldn't believe his boss had just shushed him with that tiny little hand of hers.

He breathed out and then looked in the direction of the bathroom. All he could hear, through the closed door, was the sound of running water. He knew G was moving a little slow; he was still pretty weak and banged up. But he had been in the shower for thirty-four minutes.

With her hands now daintily placed on her knees, Hetty began looking around at nothing, attempting to ignore her fretting agent who had begun pacing the floor of the small hospital room.

Sam watched her in his peripheral vision as he made each pass by her.

With lips pursed, she peered at the window for a few moments. Then she studied the palms of both her hands a while, and then the backs.

Definitely avoiding eye contact.

Sam noticed how she was taking slow, controlled breaths. Something was definitely weighing heavy on her mind. Sam knew that look. Hetty was clearly attempting to hide her worry about something – about Callen.

Sam was just about to repeat his earlier concern about the length of time G had been in the shower, when Hetty cleared her throat, and then gracefully rose to her feet. "Mr. Hanna," she said, with a slight waver in her voice. "Would you please go gather your partner up from the shower floor?"

"Do what?" The floor?

Sam was puzzled, but readily accepted the two white bath towels she was now holding out to him.

"His clothes are hanging on a hook behind the door," she said, regaining her usual 'business-like' tone.

Sam gave his boss one more questioning look and then took the few steps to the bathroom.

In an effort to not overstep Callen's personal boundaries, Hetty moved across the room so that the shower stall was out of her sightline. She watched Sam open the door, and then stop just inside doorway of the bathroom. When his gaze lowered to the floor, she knew she was correct – Callen was, indeed, sitting in the shower floor.

Sam's head tilted to the side. "G. How did you get down there?" He stepped all the way into the bathroom and Hetty heard the water shut off. "Better question is… how in the world were you planning to get up from there?"

The bathroom door closed and Hetty returned to her spot on the couch.

A while later, Sam stepped out, leaving the door slightly cracked open. "He's brushing his teeth," he informed Hetty before easing himself down beside her.

Sam glanced over toward the bathroom door and then looked down at the floor. Hetty could see the confusion in his eyes.

"Was he crying?" she finally asked, keeping her voice low.

"Yes." Sam's eyes rose to hers. He looked even more perplexed.

"Hmmm… Did he say anything?"

Sam shook his head sadly. "No… He only looked up at me once."

There was another silent pause before Sam spoke again. "How did you know?... That he'd be sitting in the floor?"

"It's always been his 'go-to' place," she answered matter-of-factly. "Since he was a child… when things got too… difficult. But don't worry. The release will be good for your partner's recovery… He will think more clearly, and be more determined than ever to beat this thing."

Sam's confusion resurfaced. "Just have long have you known G?"

"Long enough," was her simple reply.

Sam shook his head. "But why the shower?"

"Tossed from foster home to foster home – I suppose It was the only safe place he found where he could cry, without being ridiculed or punished."

Sam lowered his head.

A few long moments later, he looked up and his sad eyes met hers. "But why here, Hetty? Why now?"

"Oh, Mr. Hanna," she began quietly. "He's been holding back so much frustration, fear… pain. This was the first time, in more than a week, that he has been truly alone. The dam can only hold for so long before it breaks."

Sam was overtaken by a sudden wave of concern that, maybe, he had underestimated how damaged his partner really was – Hetty had not.

Sam's thoughts were suddenly interrupted when the bathroom door began to slowly swing open.

Callen appeared in the doorway, wearing the gray sweats, dark blue t-shirt, and white socks that Sam had helped him get into.

"G!" Sam moved quickly toward his partner, who was now leaning heavily on the doorframe.

Hetty went to the bed and pressed the nurses' call light.

Callen quickly lowered his red-rimmed eyes. Neither Hetty or Sam missed how badly he was shivering, how pale was, how utterly exhausted he looked.

Sam wrapped his long fingers around G's upper arm, and guided him to take a step forward. "Come on, before you fall over."

"This is Margie," came a voice over the small speaker. "Can I help you?"

Without taking her eyes off of her two Agents, Hetty responded, "Please inform Mr. Callen's Nurse that he has finished his shower."

There was a brief pause, and then, "She said she'll be right there."

Callen had taken a few careful steps toward the chair when Nurse Esther arrived. She placed a small medicine cup on the table and turned in time to see her patient sway.

Sam, instinctively tightened his grip of G's biceps. "Bed or chair, G?"

"Chair," he answered softly.

With help from the nurse and his partner, G eased down into the chair, inadvertently letting a hushed groan escape.

Esther removed the water-proof covering from Callen's cast, reattached the IV, and picked up the medicine container and a cup of water. "I have your morning medicine and some water, Mr. Callen."

Callen glanced up the mentioned items in the nurse's hands. Everyone watching noticed the subsequent increase in his rate of breathing as he lowered his head.

There was a long silent pause before Hetty cleared her throat.

G looked up at here through his blondish eyebrows and then, with a defeated look, did what was expected of him; he washed down the first pink capsule… and then the second.

Esther tossed the medicine cup into the trash and then faced Callen. "C.J. will be taking over in a few minutes. Anything you need before I go?"

Raising his eyes to meet hers, G shook his head.

"Okay, then. I'll see you later tonight, 'blue-eyes'."

Callen regarded the nurse with a tired smile before she turned and left the room.

It wasn't long before the florozine had Callen blinking slower and slower, until his eyes finally closed.

Hetty walked to where he sat, and delicately placed both of Callen's forearms on the arms of the chair, and then neatly arranged the blankets around his shoulders and neck. When she was satisfied that he was properly tucked in, she turned to Sam. "Mr. Hanna, how much time until your family arrives?"

Sam looked at his watched. "Three and a half hours."

Hetty sat down on the couch and folded her dainty hands in her lap. "Well then. That gives you just enough time to go home, shower, and get a bite to eat, before you are due at the airport."

Sam's eyes wondered to the chair where his partner was napping. "You staying with him until I get back?"

Hetty joined Sam in observing Callen's sleeping form. "Oh, Mr. Hanna. Don't you worry. I have no intention of leaving your partner alone. I'll stay right here until you return."

Seemingly satisfied with her answer, Sam gave Hetty a small bow before leaving for home.