Thank you for your continued patience.
This chapter is brought to you by the word Sunshine, as in Sunshine1220, who with the help of her husband reformatted a laptop for me to have when mine crapped out. I love you with my whole heart. Twisted Sisters for life.
Thank you to Dawn and May for your invaluable advice and prereading services.
Chapter 54
Bella
"So are you ever going to tell me what happened with you and Edward?"
I roll my eyes discreetly and pretend to concentrate on my checklist. We are leaving again tomorrow morning for another leg of the tour and she has been after me since I got back to dish out some details and it's driving me nuts.
"Bella…" She whines. I sigh
"Edward got to you, didn't he?"
"Is it that apparent? Ugh. You know I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know whether I'm coming or I'm going."
"Tell me."
"There's nothing much to tell, really. Except that all these feelings are getting churned up again. It's a really schizophrenic situation because one minute I'm dealing with Masen and the next Cullen's looking at me right through his face. And it's making me even crazier than he is."
"But you see, Bella, Edward has always been there. They're one and the same. Back when you said you loved Masen…"
"You don't think I want to go back to that place again? I've never been happier in my life than when me and Masen were together. But everytime I try to get close, he just makes me mad again."
"Why are you mad at him now? I mean besides the whole bigamy thing. Because he did a good job?"
"No. Yeah. I don't know. There were all these women… and they were clawing at him and his hair and his clothes and the bum was just eating it up. You should have seen him schmoozing these coed types before and after the show..."
"You're jealous?"
"I am not jealous."
"Oh come on, there is nothing wrong with being jealous. It's perfectly natural. Especially between two people who should be together but are not. And who are running the risk of losing each other over something as stupid as pride. Now just get over it cause the loss is not worth the gain."
A hesitant knock at the door has us clamming up. Cullen pokes his head in the door.
"Am I interrupting?"
"No. I was just leaving to go pick up an order of merch. I hear we sold out." With a pointed look at me, she leaves.
"Everything okay?" He asks.
"Yeah, we were just discussing the next leg of the tour. Mac's niece and her boyfriend are going to be in the van tomorrow. Extra help."
"I think that's a brilliant idea."
"Yeah. You do?"
"Yeah, no manager of mine should be out front hocking merchandise. It's undignified."
Normally I would bristle but his eyes are mischievous and I know he doesn't mean any harm. So I smile tentatively.
"Well somebody had to do it." I tease.
"Well, now you don't. I'm finding I need your undivided attention when I'm performing."
"That so?"
"I was born to do this Bella. I just can't believe it took so long for me to realize it."
I just nod and he takes that cue to leave with the promise to be on time tomorrow.
I watch him go. "I really hope you mean it." I whisper to the wind blowing through the open front door.
The last chords are playing and the crowd is the noisiest and largest it's ever been. I make sure everything is under control before I rush downstairs to warn Alice, Bree and Marcus that the rush is coming.
I approach them and they are standing there all casual.
"Okay, you guys ready?"
Alice rolls her eyes. "Yes. I don't know why you are making such a fuss about needing all three of us. And look at all this merch you had us bring."
I look past her shoulder and my eyes widen. "Brace yourselves." Then I practically catapult out of the way as a swarm of fans storm the table. I'd laugh at the look on their faces but I'm too busy selling all 'this merch I had them bring'.
It's mass chaos for more than half an hour as we scream over each other and them. The lines never stop. You'd think they were the Beatles or some crap. I notice Cullen signing autographs and I turn back to help my crew and lose track of the band. That is until Peter pulls me aside in a panic.
"We have a problem." He is disheveled and breathing heavily.
"What happened to you?"
"That mob happened to us. You should see Masen."
"Is he okay?"
"Yeah, he made it to the van but he's trapped inside. Riley called an Uber for us that is coming to the back entrance so we can get out but we can't get to Masen."
I think real hard for a sec. Okay, you and the guys get out. I'll get to the van. They don't care bupkus about me. Text me when you get to the hotel. We will get the equipment tomorrow."
He nods then gathers the guys and they leave.
I pull Alice aside. "When you sell out, grab the money and run for your lives. Looks like maybe fifteen minutes? Have Bree call for an Uber to arrive at the back entrance like the guys did. I have to go save Cullen."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Too much to list at the moment. But the short answer is he's trapped in the van and I have to get him back to the hotel. I'll meet you there."
When I dart out the side entrance all I can see is a mob of women surrounding Rock N Roller. And my rock and roller. Luckily I was raised in Brooklyn and on music so I knew how to deal with this crowd. And luckily I inherited my Ma's bony elbows. WIth many grunts and exclamations of displeasure and no apologies from me, I made it to the driver's door. I swing it open and I know I hit someone but move out of the way! I slam the door shut and turn to look at a very calm, very smug Cullen.
"I am never going to underestimate college coeds ever again."
"What we are witnessing is raw, young, sexual energy."
"We may have to temper your testosterone, Cullen. It's obviously too much for them."
"What happened to 'give the fans what they want'?"
"Don't you dare." I warn. "Go home. Study." I shout to them.
"I think it's all the cold nights here in Washington. You remember how it is. Hi girls!"
"Don't encourage them!" I put the van in drive.
"Planning on mowing them down?"
"There's a thought."
"Rev the engine." He suggests.
I glare at him. "Don't tell me what to do."
So naturally, I rev the engine.
He watches a girl kiss the window. "And to think this generation will be running the country in twenty years."
"Are you enjoying this, Cullen?"
"Actually it does have ego enhancing potential. Considering the amount of rejection I've been experiencing with you these last few months, it's nice to know somebody, somewhere wants me."
"Oh right, and everything is my fault." I retort.
"No, it's all mine." He says, softly. I look at him but I don't say anything except, " Alright girls. Out of my way, I'm coming through."
I inch forward bit by bit and it takes a good five minutes but finally they see I might actually mow them down and I'm on the road heading towards the hotel.
We are safely ensconced in my room awaiting the other three's arrivals. The band members texted me that they made it back safely with no problems.
"Lock the door," I tell Cullen.
He raises his eyebrow and smirks. "Not for that reason."
"Wasn't that exciting?" He asks.
"We're getting rid of those leather pants."
"I don't know about that. I've grown rather fond of these pants."
"Yeah, you, and half the population of Washington state. I'm having you perform in red flannel and baggy jeans."
"Fine. I love a challenge, remember. Thirteen months ago in a Port Angeles hotel bar. You challenged me to sing with the Idle Rich and look what happened. Bring on the flannel. I can handle anything."
"Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you, Cullen?"
"No, and that's why I didn't want to be Masen Whitlock all those months. Do you remember how hard you had to work to get me to sing?"
I swallow hard. "I remember every little thing of every little moment," I whisper then clear my throat. "I wonder where Alice and the others are? They should be here by now." I go to my purse to reach for my phone.
"I'll never forget that night. I was still high from the crowd reaction and your reaction." I pause as he gets closer, feeling his breath on my neck. "But I went up to my room thinking well, that's it. I'll wake up in the morning being Edward Cullen. No more Masen. And then you came to my door and you knocked. My God, I'll never forget. You walked in, talking a mile a minute, not letting me get a word in edgewise and I was mesmerized. That face. That voice. Those wonderful, wacky nails and then we ended up… well, you always did have a way with… words, Bella Marie."
"You know if you wanna order room service, you should go ahead and do it. We don't want to risk having to go back out there."
"I'd rather stay here anyway. With you. Where I belong." He steps a little closer until we are mere inches apart. My breath hitches as he looks longingly at my lips. I lick mine. One little kiss won't hurt, right? I step closer to him then…
"Bella?" Rapid knocks sound on the door as Alice says my name. I look at him regretfully and yell, 'Hold your horses'. I regretfully back away and answer the door. Alice, Bree and Marcus rush in chattering excitedly about their own 'brush with death' but saying they made so much money and there was no merch left. Alice notices that Cullen and I are staring at each other and takes her cue and drags the other two out of the room with bogus excuses.
"Look, Cullen…"
"What a night, huh? You must be wiped."
"Yeah… you, too?"
"No." He smiles softly. "You did all the hard work and I got all the glory. You know I owe every bit of it to you and now I'm having the ride of my life. THis is just the beginning. So you get a good night's rest because you're going to need it."
"You too."
"Actually, I'm wired. I think I'm gonna grab the guys and see if they want to jam tonight."
For reasons I can not fathom, I say, "I'll go along."
"No, you've done enough. There will be other nights." He grabs my hand and squeezes it before opening the door to leave. "Goodnight, Bella Marie."
"Goodnight, Masen."
He smiles that smile that makes me melt as he shuts the door. I walk over to it and slide down it in defeat.
Why does life have to be so damn hard?
He's singing as he places my bags in the living room, as he simultaneously relives the night before.
"As the guys and I were jamming last night after you folded…"
My head snaps up. "I did not fold."
"You were pooped. You said so yourself. Anyway, we were so high from the gig and so we got creative. They didn't want us to stop and the only reason we did was because the bar closed at four am."
"What are you? That battery bunny?"
"The point is, we came up with some very interesting stuff so I was thinking we should call a rehearsal this afternoon and lay down some stuff."
"Oh no, I think that maybe you need to give your voice a rest for a couple of days to recover." He's in my way so we sidestep each other until I hold him still to go around him. "Who needs to recover?" He asks.
"Me. I need to recover. Satisfied?"
He grins that crooked grin. "Not by half but I will hold off on rehearsal until tomorrow. Mac's is Friday and I really want to do some new stuff so they don't get bored with us. Need help getting your luggage to your room?"
"Nah, I got it. Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"You bet." He grins again and leaves the way he came- singing.
The next day rehearsal is on fire! I'm amazed by the genius I am witnessing and in a rare move, I tell them that. Cullen looks smug but I let him have it. He should be.
Before I know it, it's Friday and Mac's is tonight. However, everything that can go wrong is going wrong. Cullen was running late as per usual but he was helping his grandmother so I didn't mind as much. So I was helping hoist equipment and when we went back out to grab one of the amplifiers, we find it's been stolen. After a bunch of words that I will have to say several Hail Marys for, I storm back in to Mac's and inform Alice. When Rose arrives, she's pissed but sends a couple of the guys out to get a replacement. I apologize but she waves it off with a 'shit happens'.
I'm still on edge when Alice informs me hesitantly that the drummer once again forgot his pedal but assures me he is already on his way back.
I glare up at the heavens. "Anything else?"
Then Angela arrives.
I glance back up. "Well played, sweet baby Jesus," I deadpan. "Well played."
I gesture to Jasper to pour me a shot of Tequila and down it, taking a deep breath.
"Drinking so early?" A whisper comes from my right.
I glare at him and he looks to Alice for explanation.
"Bad day." She explains.
"How can it be a bad day when I'm earlier than expected and we have new music to perform? And it's a beautiful day." He's too cheerful and I walk away although I can hear Alice explain all that's happened. I see him grimace especially when he spots Blondie and he moves to the stage far away from her as humanly possible without leaving the building.
Would that I could.
The crowd is here with standing room only and I take my place at the bar with a direct view of the stage. The guys clown around a bit before Cullen settles in front of the mic and welcomes everybody. They launch into all their covers and older originals and the crowd is digging them. It definitely is making earlier seem so much less dire than what I made it. I notice Blondie sitting there with no reaction. I knew that woman was made of stone. They played a new one called 10,000 hours to rousing applause. Masen pauses to talk to the guys then come back to address his crowd.
"About thirteen months ago, I met this fiery, challenging woman and I knew after a few hours my life would never be the same. I'm not the same Edward you all have known and I think I am better for it, because of her. When we met she was drinking Bloody Marys but her preference is Tequila and my preference will always be her."
He moves to his small piano that he has started keeping on stage for gigs no matter how cluttered it makes the stage and sits. It's also heavy as hell.
I can still shut down a party
I can hang with anybody
I can drink whiskey and red wine
Champagne all night
Little Scotch on the rocks and I'm fine, I'm fine
But when I taste tequila, baby I still see ya
Cutting up the floor in a sorority t-shirt
The same one you wore when we were
Sky high in Colorado, your lips pressed against the bottle
Swearing on a Bible, baby, I'd never leave ya
I remember how bad I need ya,
When I taste tequila
When I taste tequila
When I taste tequila
Ooooh
I can kiss somebody brand new and not even think about you
I can show up to the same bar
Hear the same songs in my car
Baby, your memory it only hits me this hard
When I taste tequila, baby I still see ya
Cutting up the floor in a sorority t-shirt
The same one you wore when we were
Sky high in Colorado, your lips pressed against the bottle
Swearing on a Bible, baby, I'd never leave ya
I remember how bad I need ya,
When I taste Tequila
When I taste tequila
When I taste tequila
When I taste tequila
Oooh
The memories rush over me as he is singing. Making him swear on a bible he was single, the tequila I drank in Colorado at the gig right before we got married. Making him swear to never leave me. As soon as he is done I bypass the crowd and make a beeline straight to him to… to do… I don't know what I'm going to do, I just need to get to him.
But there's one obstacle I forgot about.
I almost run right smack into her but bring myself to a halt before I do.
"Far be it from me to get in the way of true love but one really never knows which is true and which is phony."
I bite back a retort. "If you'll excuse me."
"My, my, my, aren't we polite tonight? Is that for Edward's benefit? He was awfully good, wasn't he? I mean look at him over there surrounded by all those people. Is that why you were rushing over there? To pull him away from all that competition? You know, that is a very good idea cause we both know how easily his head is turned."
"Lady, I don't need you to tell me about Edward."
"Well as long as you can deal with his free spirit and his predilection for simultaneous affairs." She gloats.
I lean closer to her in warning. "That's over and you're over. Now go away."
She looks me over shrewdly. "So you haven't forgiven him. I knew it. But then how could you? I mean he was courting you and jumping into my bed on the side. Or maybe, just maybe, it was you on the side. With Edward, one really never knows."
"I know one thing. You begged him to fuck you, to give you the status and the name you think you deserved; he begged me to marry him. We are not the same. Now, I have a lot of work to do. You can stay or you can go but get out of my way."
I walk around her and she grabs my arm jerking me back towards her.
"How'd you feel when you found out…"
"Don't touch me!" I order sharply. I can feel the eyes turning towards our spectacle.
"He is so good but to discover that he was sharing that with someone else must have been so crushing."
"What is with you? Don't you understand English!" I yell.
"I understand your so-called husband. And I know that your picture perfect, rose colored life is about as phony as Masen Whitlock. And let me tell you something, little girl, you are gonna fall and you are gonna fall hard and I can't wait to stand there and watch it." She hisses.
I square back my shoulders and twirl around on my heels and this bitch grabs me again and says. 'Don't you walk…"
The next thing I know my hand is on fire and she's down on the floor looking up at me in shock.
Oh shit.
Playlist: Don't Start Now- Dua Lipa
Therefore I Am- Billie Eilish
Mama Said Knock You Out- LL Cool J
10, 000 Hours- Dan and Shay, Justin Beiber
Tequila- Dan and Shay
So that happened...