Vanessa looked around the steps of the station house, looking at all of the guys who were either standing or laying around. She was wondering when they would hear news on the white supremacists who were arrested the night before during the fight. Chief Unser finally made his way out to greet them with a whistle and she sighed in relief. She looked towards Jax who put his arm around her so they could walk over to Unser together.
"What?" Clay asked first, Gemma right next to him.
"Stahl's been locked in a room with FBI, two hours now. No idea what's going on."
"What about Weston?" Jax asked this time, wanting nothing more than to kill him.
"Still waiting to hear from the DA." Unser shrugged. "Sorry."
Unser walked back into the department as all of the guys sighed in annoyance, wanting to get this shit over with. Vanessa looked around, wondering what their next step would be.
"You good to go with my mom?" Jax looked to her. Vanessa just nodded, being back at the clubhouse was better than sitting outside in the chilly February air all day waiting for news. "Sack, stay with my mom and Nessa."
"Absolutely, man."
"Thanks, bro." Half Sack jumped down from the railing and headed over to his bike. "Stay with him, alright?"
"Yeah, baby." She placed a gentle kiss on his lips and looked into his eyes. He could see the look in her eyes which was basically telling him to stay safe and to come back to her. He just nodded, kissing her one more time before gently smacking her on the ass to get her moving in the direction of his mother and Half Sack. She smirked back to him but continued walking towards her car. She stared at them as she sat in the driver seat of her SUV, Gemma right next to her.
"You okay?" Gemma sounded concerned.
"I'm tired. I just… I want this shit to finally end."
"It will, sweetheart. It will. Then it'll get downright boring to the point where you'll want a little bit of this excitement."
Vanessa didn't respond. She had no interest in this kind of 'excitement'. In fact, she wished that there was at least one safe day filled with nothing but normality.
Vanessa was laying on the bed in Jax's dorm room, Abel on her chest as he snored lightly. She looked down at him and rubbed his back gently. A feeling of confidence and gratefulness washed over her after her short phone call with one of the other hospital administrators. She smiled at the fact that she was no longer worried about her job, knowing that the suspension was lifted. Her position would officially be reinstated by the next week.
Now she only worried about the club and her family. She tried to ignore the nagging feeling of a mixture of fear and nervousness but it continued to weigh heavily on her chest. She heard the sound of motorcycles pull up on the lot and her heart raced.
Quickly, she got off of the bed and held Abel tighter to her chest as she went out towards the bar, looking for Jax. She saw the group of men standing together and her head spun when she finally laid eyes on Jax again. The fear that overtook her, the fear that he was in danger or that their family was in danger, was gone now as he pulled out of his hug with Clay and his eyes fell onto her. She could tell that he was safe, that he was okay and that made her feel unbelievably relieved.
She walked over to him hastily, but he just gave her a nod, causing her to speed up. With one arm around the baby, she gripped Jax tight with the other and he kissed her forehead. He smiled down at her and she couldn't help but lean into him before kissing him deeper.
"It's done, darlin'." Jax whispered in her ear when she pulled back. "Weston's gone."
"Good." She breathed, relief overtaking her. With Weston gone, she knew that it was only a matter of time before this shit storm was completely over. Then they could deal with Jax's sentencing, allowing them to finally move on from one of the most physically and mentally draining times in Charming. "Suspension at work was lifted this morning."
"That's great, babe." He kissed her with a sense of calmness. He cleared his throat and looked over the rest of the guys who were standing around the bar. "Where we at?" He asked, all of the guys looking over to her, indicating that they didn't want to say anything too sensitive in front of her, but Jax pulled her closer to him and gave a small nod.
"Puerto Rican's watching Zobelle." Bobby said, he didn't get a chance to continue when Gemma walked over, kissing her son on the cheek and then putting an arm around him and Vanessa.
"I gotta run some errands. Get some supplies." She started. "You and the baby wanna join me and the prospect?"
"Yeah, that'd be nice." Vanessa smiled, feeling like she was finally a part of the family. For the first time in over a month, she finally felt that things were going to be okay.
Vanessa was putting the baby in his car seat in her SUV after he began getting fussy in the store. She stretched after getting Abel in the seat and gave him his favorite plastic toy keys and watched as he jangled them and laughed.
"What are you doing, silly boy?" Her smile rose on her face as he started laughing even harder. He started babbling away and she went to the trunk to help pack the supplies away while Gemma looked at the fresh produce. "Gem?" She called out, seeing the woman moving quickly towards the car.
"Gimme those." She pointed to the keys in Half Sack's hand. "I'm driving. Get in."
"Uh, o-okay." Vanessa stuttered, moving quickly into the car. She watched as Gemma stared at the woman parked a few spots ahead of them, the sign dedicated to Impeccable Smokes indicated who she was staring at. "Zobelle's daughter? Gemma, what are we doing?"
"Yeah. She's the one who told me her baby was choking. Hit me over the head."
Vanessa felt worry rise in her once again. The disgust riddled throughout her entire body while looking at the blonde bitch, wondering how one woman could sanction the brutal beating and rape of another woman.
"Where are we going, Gemma?" Vanessa asked, knowing that Gemma was going to follow her.
"Forward, sweetheart." Vanessa sighed and looked out the window, wondering how she could possibly talk Gemma out of this. She didn't want to stop Gemma from seeking retribution, especially since she had the opportunity to seek her own retribution against Kohn when she shot him and Jax killed him. But she knew that Gemma was growing and thriving despite her trauma, not because of it.
Gemma pulled off to park on the side of the street in some shitty neighborhood in Galt. Vanessa sighed in both fear and exhaustion, not wanting Gemma to do anything she may regret.
"You don't need to do this." She grabbed the older woman's hand. "Look at me, that rape would have destroyed most women. It destroyed me. But not you. You're thriving and you're living despite it. You are strong and wise, more compassionate. Whatever it is you think you have to do, you're past it. You have already moved forward, Gemma. Weston is already dead, you don't need to do this."
"My son. My husband. Their brothers. They're out there risking their lives, their freedom for me. This is how I do my part. God's put her in my path, so I can fix that part of me that they ripped open."
"There is nothing to fix, Gemma." Vanessa spoke with conviction. "When I was attacked, I thought that I would never be fixed or healed. It took me a long time, but I finally realized that there is nothing to fix because there was nothing wrong with me. I was strong before my rape and I was strong after my rape. So are you, Gem. We're both surviving in spite of what shitty people have done to us."
"I know, but I'm supposed to do this. This is the next step on my path. Get my grandson home safe." Gemma squeezed Vanessa's hand lightly. "I love you, Vanessa. I'm glad you're with my boy."
"Gemma, please… Please don't do this." Tears sprang to Vanessa's eyes, the trepidation rode in waves over her whole body as she felt like this was a mistake. Like this was a defining moment. The defining moment of their lives. A moment that was going to cause heartbreak and pain.
"I'll be okay, baby." Gemma kissed her on the cheek. "I'll be okay."
Vanessa's hands were shaking as she watched Gemma get out of the car and begin walking towards one of the houses. Vanessa jumped out next, seeing Half Sack rushing towards her.
"Hey, where's she going?" He asked, staring in the direction that Gemma was walking in.
"Stay here." She bit her lip. "She may need to get out fast."
"Oh, shit." Half Sack sighed and looked at Vanessa.
"You make sure she's safe, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah." He nodded. "Of course."
Vanessa's brain was going haywire. The entire ride back to Charming she was considering calling Jax. She wanted to call him or Clay or any of the other guys so they could stop Gemma from going after Polly. But she couldn't.
Vanessa knew how much Gemma wanted retribution. It was human nature. And it was a feeling that Vanessa was very much familiar with. She wanted retribution against Kohn, and she got it. She couldn't take that away from Gemma, especially if Gemma had the notion that hurting Polly was going to help her recover.
So she sat outside of her and Jax's home, knowing that she couldn't go back to the clubhouse without Gemma. When Abel started to cry, Vanessa turned off the engine and got his carseat out of the back.
Without a second thought, she unlocked the door and started searching for his favorite banana baby food. She was feeding him when she heard the door open behind her.
"Jax?" She called out, jumping slightly. She sighed in relief at the sight of Half Sack.
"It's just me."
"Shit." She whispered. "Where's Gemma?"
"I don't know." He shook his head and walked further into the kitchen. "Feds raided the house. I had to leave."
"Fuck." She muttered, rubbing her hands over her face.
"You better call Jax."
"Yeah." She sighed, walking over to the house phone and immediately began dialling the number she knew by heart. It rang a few times before Jax finally picked up.
"Hey." He picked up and her heart raced.
"Um, I'm sorry, Jax." She exhaled loudly. "I didn't want to bother you with this."
"What's the matter?" She heard the concern in his voice.
"It's Gemma. She followed Zobelle's daughter in the…" Vanessa audibly yelped in fear and shock as she turned to see a gun pointed straight at her. She looked at the man that she had once saved from a gunshot wound and found the irony in the situation of him being the one that was now likely to inflict a gunshot wound onto her. She saved his life, and now he was likely going to take hers. She gasped as Cameron Hayes took hold of her, wrapping an arm around her neck as he pointed the gun at Half Sack now.
She felt his arm grow tighter around her neck as she choked, fighting for air supply that was now being cut off.
"J-Jax-" she sputtered out.
"Vanessa?" Jax called out over the phone. "Vanessa!" She didn't have a chance to answer when Cameron took the phone from her hand and hung it up, throwing it across the floor. Cameron finally loosened his grip on her and pushed her to sit in one of the kitchen chairs, his gun still on Half Sack.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, fighting for breath.
"Shut up." He stared at her before putting his gaze back on the young man in front of him. "Weapon."
"What do you want?" She spoke again.
"Gemma killed my Eddy. Figured maybe… I kill an old lady, even the score." Cameron pointed the gun directly at her head, only a few inches away from her. She stared him in the eyes, fear lingering throughout her whole body, but she tried not to show it. She just stared at him, her nostrils flaring slightly while defiant tears began to flood her eyes at the thought of never seeing Jax or Abel again.
She saw Half Sack jump towards him quickly out of the corner of her eye.
"Don't get brave, boyo!" He pointed the gun back at the young man. Vanessa looked around for a weapon to use against him, but could see nothing near her. She eyed the knife holder sitting only a few feet from Abel. "Sit." Cameron spoke again to Half Sack. "Sit!"
At the sound of the booming voice, Abel began to cry and she felt a rush of adrenaline. The only thought on her mind was protecting her baby. Half Sack sat down in the chair at the kitchen table as the gun was still trained on him. She watched as Cameron inched closer and closer to the baby who was still in his car seat that was placed on the countertop.
"Here we are." Cameron whispered, taking one of the knives from the knife holder and holding it to the baby. "A son for a son. Seems about right."
"No." She yelled, jumping up at the same time as Half Sack.
"Don't." Half Sack muttered. Both Vanessa and Half Sack rushed over to stop Cameron and Vanessa watched as he slammed a knife into Half Sack's gut, the squelching sound making her feel as if she was going to vomit. Cameron slowly pulled and pushed the knife in and out of Half Sack as she watched the blood of her friend puddle around his feet as he gasped in a plea for his life.
"Please, no." She whispered, her hands covering her mouth. She looked at Half Sack as Cameron pulled the knife out of him and he fell to the floor, her tears pooling heavier in her eyes. She knew that if Half Sack didn't get immediate help it was likely that he wasn't going to survive. She tried to breathe as she thought of all the people she had lost over the years, knowing that Half Sack would be the next person to be added onto that list. In an uncontrollable burst of anger and a pure need to protect her son, Vanessa eyed the glass plate sitting in the drain board next to the sink. She quickly grabbed it just as Cameron turned the knife onto her.
Without a second thought, Vanessa shattered the plate into the man's face and roughly pushed him into the counter, turning her back on him and rushing to get to Abel. He barely gasped in pain as he grabbed her by the roots of her hair and pulled her away from her son.
"Abel!" She muttered, staring directly at her baby as the Irishman held a harsh grip on her hair. She slammed her elbow back into his nose and this time, he yelped loudly in pain but neglected to rid himself of the tight grip he had embedded into her hair. Abel began crying louder and Vanessa only saw him. She flailed and fought to get to her son when Cameron sliced at her impulsively, cutting the outer part of her bicep.
She cried out in pain as she saw blood oozing from her arm. She barely had another second to react when he roughly slammed her stomach into the counter, the knife falling from his grasp. She looked down at it, fighting to get the weapon when she felt the gun placed to the back of her head. She heard him breathing heavily and her body went still as she shut her eyes, waiting for darkness to come.
And it did, but only after he violently slammed her head into the edge of the countertop. She felt her body unwillingly fall to the ground and her vision grow darker as she searched the darkness for her son. She heard her son's cries slowly begin to drift and ebb away.
The darkness only lasted for a few seconds when she heard a car door slam shut. Instinctively, she looked to the counter where her son's car seat was perched.
"Abel." She whispered, her throat hoarse and her head pounding as she wiped away the blood that was dripping into her vision. She used the drawers and the counter to assist her in getting off the ground slowly. As she got to her feet, she felt dizzy and unstable but still made her way to the car seat. When she reached the car seat and didn't see her son she turned too quickly, tripping over the body of her friend and landing heavily onto her hands and her knees.
"Kip." She whispered, seeing his blood all over hands. The tears pooled in her eyes again as the scene came back to her. Abel's cries. Half Sack's gasps. The squelching sound of the knife being driven and pulled from his gut. She felt for Kip's pulse, already knowing that the unmoving body in front of her was no longer breathing. At the sound of tires squealing off of the street, she got off of her knees, running unsteadily towards the door.
"My son." She muttered. "Abel! He took- he took my son!" She yelled looking around outside for any hint of where he could be. "Abel!"
The tears fell from her eyes as she heard the sound of rumbling Harley's speeding down the street. She realized that she probably looked like a crazy person, screaming in the middle of the street with blood covering her. But she didn't care. She didn't care about how badly her head hurt or how her arm was still bleeding or how she felt like she couldn't breathe. She didn't care that her neighbors were probably staring at her like she was deranged. She didn't care because her son was gone and it was all her fault.
She didn't care because she once again couldn't protect another baby who was relying on her.
AN: So we are getting into some of my favorite chapters that I've written so far, probably because I think that these are some of my favorite episodes. There will be quite a few changes from canon from here on out, so I hope you guys enjoy them. Once again, thank you everyone who has favorited and followed this story. Tashiolove, Grace, MaddyeTrager, hateme101, Shantigal, & BlueBloodsSVUOrder - Thank you all so much for the reviews. It means so much!