CHAPTER XIII: ADMISSION
I gently push the wooden doors open with my right foot, surprised that Aura and Mare's shared room is empty. Aura is still babbling in my arms about all of the horrible similarities she has with her creator, her mind having a hard time coping with such thoughts. Aura is so lost in her self analysis that she doesn't notice anything around her until I gently place her onto her side and cover her with the bedsheets. She snaps out of her daze and closes her eyes, her breathing even but heavy. I take a seat on the bed slowly as she whispers glumly, "Am I... a bad person?"
"Just stubborn... I can relate..." I whisper in reply, unsure if she's speaking to me specifically or asking no one in particular. I feel something brush my back clumsily until her left-hand clamps down my right hand, my fingers curling around her sweaty and shaking hand as she whispers in slight delirium, "Mare tried to warn me... so did Shalltear... and I ignored them both... I was so sure that they were wrong... that I could never be like the one that made me..."
"I can relate to that too..." I whisper as I rub the cloth covering my left eye and remember all the times I let my rage control my actions. Our confrontation was an epiphany for me as well because I never really considered how alike I was to my mother or my father when in the grasp of rage. I'm thankful that I didn't act like my father and grab at Aura as he did with Lord Ainz.
Aura pulls her hand out of my grip but slides her right arm around my stomach while her left arm glides over my left shoulder. I hear and feel her move and am reminded of how much larger she is when she presses her chest against me. She's still shaking as she whispers with uncertainty, "Stay with me..."
My mood dives because I know that what she's asking for is something I can't give her. My response is automatic and though it hurts to say, I whisper reluctantly, "I can't stay... Shalltear still needs me..."
She hugs me tighter and starts crying, making it a struggle to avoid feeling what she feels. Self-loathing kicks in as I listen to her crying in silence and I can't think of what to say or do to make it better. My dark mood breaks when the ring on my right ring finger starts to chirp and as soon as I raise the hand, a familiar voice emits from the ring scornfully, "A woman needs your support and the first thing you tell them is you can't help them. I would slap you across the face if you said that to me."
"How long have you been listening?" I ask Shalltear in frustrated relief, dark laughter projecting from the ring as it flashes with violet hues in time with her voice. She replies with dark humour, "Long enough to know that what Aura really needs right now is something she's afraid to ask for. Given your response, I can understand why she's so hesitant."
Aura buries her face into my back, humming in embarrassment and wiping her tears on my suit jacket as Shalltear explains, "Since she blew her chance to say it, I'm going to say it. You're going to enable her transition into adulthood by showing her your expertise as a man-"
"Shalltear!" I exclaim as the final pieces of the puzzle come into focus but Shalltear shouts through the ring for me to shut up. I obey out of habit as she sighs in frustration, the minor pause helping my unease fester as she explains, "You're either very dense or very stubborn. I'm permitting you to make a woman out of a dark elf that's been waiting for almost two years for this, hoping that you would show any kind of interest-"
"I'm more concerned about her well being right now! She just had a terrible mental episode and I don't think this will help!" I snap in frustration, the silence growing after my outburst. It's a painful silence but Shalltear says in a commanding voice, "Just do what comes naturally."
"No...no!..." I growl through gritted teeth as mental programming tries to take over and force me to do as she wishes. I force Aura's arms off me and stagger away, my hands going to my head as I fight for control of my mind and body. All of my limbs vibrate in willingness to turn back and obey while my mind reels and splits into two separate thought processes. One voice, the rational one, is screaming at me to stay calm and keep focus. The other voice, the insidious voice, sickens me with its demands to ravish the being nearby. She's willing. She's able. Why resist? Make her submit to you. Make her feel whole. You yearn for it as well.
"Gotcha," I hiss as I force my left hand behind the cloth covering my eye socket, fingers grasping at the blob-like obstruction trying to disguise itself as my flesh. I feel it bite into my eye socket and my fingers in an attempt to remain in place but I angrily pull this cancer out of my skull and throw it across the room. The knife on my belt enters my other hand and with a deft toss, I hurl the blade after the black mass and skewer it to the wall. It screams horribly as it bursts into violet flames, the scream echoing in my head and threatening to drive me unconscious. I lose my sense of time and space from the long moments of agony, the agony shutting off as soon as it began. I'm left panting on all fours in blessed silence, shaking my head and trying to get my bearing again. Aura breaks the silence by shouting from where she's sitting, "Okay, time out! What the hell was that thing!?"
"Leftovers," I whisper as I stagger to my feet, Aura's voice helping me orient myself faster. I stumble towards the mass, slowly walking straighter as I come closer to its remains. The black mass is already crumbling to dust as I gently pull the knife out of the wall and holster it slowly. I spare it no more thought as I turn back and explain, "I foolishly absorbed my other personalities during the Rework ritual so they come out when I least expect it."
"You weren't supposed to take all of them with you in the first place! You're only supposed to take one!" Shalltear shouts through my ring, my eyes rolling from the oft-repeated line. Shalltear hated the first time this happened and she still hates it when it keeps happening even when it's her fault this time. I don't feel angry but I do feel irritated when I reply tensely to the ring, "If I'm doing this, I'm doing this on my terms so I'd appreciate it if you trust me a little more and let me handle this-"
"Then quit stalling!" she snaps back, making me feel awkward because Aura is still in the audio range of the conversation. I turn my attention back to Aura and walk back the way I came as Aura starts stuttering to me, "Okay... hold on... I'm having second thoughts... about all of this..."
I smile as I grab my suit jacket with my right hand and pull, the jacket and undershirt coming off and flying into the crimson box that appears to catch them. I keep my pace slow and steady as Aura ogles my revealed chest but she looks down in embarrassment and snaps at me, "Stop...stop doing that! It's... it's just my new hormones making me want something I'm unsure of!... just... give me time to think!... and stay over there!..."
"What do you want from me, Aura," I ask as I reach her and stand in front of her, her gloved right hand brushing my chest and stomach before she clenches it into a fist in self annoyance. She has to take some time to gather her thoughts and stares straight ahead as she whispers, "You used to be flat here... no abs or muscles... I mean..."
"I know a few things about what elves want. One of which-" I whisper as I remove the gloves from her hands deftly and make her touch my stomach with her right hand. Her hand vibrates against my skin as she tries to remain focused and I hold the hand there until she stops shaking. I crouch down until I'm eye level with her, gliding her hand up my chest and shoulder until she touches my face. She tries to pull the hand away but I hold it against my cheek as I say while staring into her eyes, "-is that there's a deep well of affection and desire inside every elf. You want to be held tenderly by someone you can trust and give yourself freely without fear of denial-"
"Stop...assuming my thoughts..." she chokes as she tries to pull her hand away, my hand keeping it in place as I take her other hand and hold it. I give her a simple smile once we make eye contact, enough of a nice gesture to force whatever restraint she has to melt away suddenly. She pulls her hands out of my grip and sizes my face, pulling me into her forceful, erratic kisses. Her arms latch onto my upper and lower back, forcing me to brace myself as the rest of her form follows. Aura groans to me between kisses with a mix of frustration and acceptance, "Fine!...you win!... you know more about this then I do!... I give up!"
"It was never about winning," I reply as I try to unbutton her white jacket but as soon as I touch the buttons, my hand snaps back from an intense surge of pain. I shake my hand of numbness and she slows down in her fervour of affection to whisper, "One of my creator's legacies... I'm the only one that can take off this clothing without harm... I don't understand how the magic works..."
"I don't need to understand," I state as I start undoing the first button, feeling my right hand go numb again as I force it to move. The movement of my fingers is painfully slow but the button comes undone eventually, the magic animating her jacket trying to relatch the button even as I move onto further buttons. Each button is a crucible of pain and my other hand struggles to keep the jacket from undoing my work with its strange sentience. Sweat starts to cover my body from the exertion but with numb hands and angry determination, the final button comes undone and I struggle one final time to get the jacket off. It's like the clothing is stuck together, unwilling to be parted and fighting me every step of the way. I finally get the jacket off with on final pull and toss it onto the furthest part of the bed, watching it writhe and hiss at me in particular.
"Good luck with the rest," Aura whispers as she lets go of me and sits on the bed with a smug expression, a sigh escaping me as I prepare myself for the trial ahead. I try to go for what I think is the easy parts and am rewarded when her shoes slip off without any sort of issues. I grunt as I place them on the ground, asking aloud in bewilderment, "Why are these so heavy!? That can't be just the steel toe."
"There's a dense composite in the soles to put more weight into my kicks," she replies as I attempt to take her red socks off, an effort in itself because they go up to her knees. I sigh as I give up temporarily and try to take off her pants, my face becoming a mask of concentration as I feel my right hand go numb from touching the main button. I struggle to unzip a zipper resisting my every effort and keep the button from refastening as I whisper, "You could make this a lot easier if you did this yourself."
"I won't make it easy on you... and not just because I'm too embarrassed to get naked in front of a man," she replies mockingly, my hands struggling against the enchantment's strength but stubbornly overcoming it with my usual tactics. A wave of pain projects from the pants into me, causing my entire body to convulse once and go slightly numb. My skin alters out of reflex to a threat, transforming into hardened black scales to resist heavy physical damage that isn't occurring. I force the change back and shake my head in disorientation, my hands pull off the pants and tossing them to the same place as the jacket. I lean over to watch them stick together like magnets and start to vibrate back towards Aura. I let out a breath from exertion as I whisper, "Out of all the one's who have bedded me, you're the most difficult. Congratulations."
"That defence system would kill a lesser man," she replies with a grin, clearly enjoying my struggle but showing signs of nervousness under the bravado. All that's left is her red dragon scale undersuit that covers everything but her head and hands. There aren't any zippers, any buttons, or any seams to indicate how to take the outfit off and after rubbing her down to her growing amusement, she comments arrogantly, "Do you need a hint?"
"Maximize magic. All Appraisal Magic Item," I state while touching her shoulder, a pulse of magic projecting from my chest through my arm into her clothing. The pulse returns to me, unleashing a stream of information that projects in front of my right eye. A few minor thoughts filters and condenses the information into a form that I can use immediately, my eyes still focused on hers as I read curiously, "The only way to take the undersuit off is for someone with your creator's identification runes to deposit it directly into your personal inventory. Trying to remove it via damage or otherwise will cause it to regenerate like the dragon scales it's based on."
Aura doesn't reply and is watching me intently, her eyes boring into mine in a mixture of anticipation and dread. An idea strikes me and I look at the ring on my right hand, asking timidly through the link, "Shalltear... you wouldn't happen to have access to Aura's personal inventory, do you?"
"I hold the keys to this endeavour, yes...but before I give up anything, I have one question," she replies with a serious tone, my body stiffening from the sudden formality and hidden threat in her voice. I wait patiently for her to gather her thoughts, Aura seeming just as disturbed as I am before Shalltear asks calmly but forcefully, "Do you love her more than me?"
"Whatever answer I give will only benefit one person in this exchange so I refuse to play that game," I state with irritation, Shalltier laughing darkly before replying with amusement, "Good answer. I'm sending the access codes to you now. Treat Aura as you would treat me or I'll tear off each of your limbs, put them back on, then tear them off again."
"Noted," I reply as new information is transmitted from the ring directly into my mind. A code phrase to unlock the enchantments on her clothing rises to the surface of my mind along with the meaning of the code phrase. I roll my eyes at how ridiculous the phrase is, placing my hand gently on the centre of Aura's chest as I say aloud, "Doki Doki..."
There's a sound like shattering glass as the enchantment is disabled on her outfit, the jacket and pants at the other end of the bed becoming lifeless as well. I nod my head and flick my right hand, her undersuit flying off and into a blue box that appears to receive it. She isn't wearing anything underneath the bodysuit but before I can get a good look at the skin underneath, she covers herself in embarrassment and grabs the sheets from the bed. I watch as she covers herself with the animal skin bedsheets then turns to me with an angry grimace, snapping at me in embarrassment, "That's cheating! You aren't supposed to ask her for help!"
"I wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for Shalltear so relax. I need something from you before I proceed," I ask calmly, unsure if she's willing to field questions in her current mood. She doesn't calm down and my impatience gets the better of me, the question bugging me since all of this started springing out. I blurt curiously, "Why me? Why am I the one here and not someone else?"
The anger fades and she stares at me with that same mixture of dread and anticipation. She replaces it with frustration and anger as if trying to conceal herself, the anger spewing out as she snaps, "Are you really asking that after everything that just happened!? Are you seriously doubting yourself now!?"
"I want to hear you say it. Otherwise, my conscious can't handle it and I'll just walk away," I reply back calmly, Aura looking away and closing her eyes while grimacing. She grumbles to herself, saying things that only she can here before shouting at me, "Shalltear trusts you and... and so do I! You always come back even when you get nothing for it! I just thought... maybe I want what she has too!"
"That's not the whole truth," I reply as I approach and climb onto the bed, Aura stiffening and watching my every movement. I crawl over to her and sit on the bed, reaching forward to hold her and finding no resistance. She starts shaking lightly, my head moving over her left shoulder as I whisper, "I still remember what happened in the Arena all that time ago... venting your rage alone with no one to care... ever since then, everyone has been drifting away from you and you've become more and more volatile... but you don't want to be left alone anymore... I understand that better than you know..."
Her final defences are lowered as she embraces me tightly, her unrestrained sobs loud in my ears.