Yesterday Esme sat with me again, as has become her routine. I do not speak as I lay curled in her lap and she strokes my hair, I am too ashamed to be able to. I usually close my eyes and unsuccessfully try to push away thoughts of Bella.

Esme's thoughts are gentle. I can hear how honestly she wishes for me to find some peace, to forgive myself, to be of comfort to me. She is more perceptive than I ever gave her credit for. Esme knows real loss, her life brought her desolation and grief. I think she is the only one who realises that I really did want to go to Volterra at every turn before and that I still long to do so, though I shall make no move to that end again.

As she ran her fingers through my hair Esme shared through her thoughts that she 'thinks I need a project to focus on' and should 'stay busy'. As much as my instincts tell me to push her away and behave defensively, I know this will cause nothing but further injury to all.

Today she has come to me with an idea that holds some promise. I am not sure that I should be entrusted with its execution though, given my track record of turning even the most wholesome of intention into a catastrophe with the most dire of consequences. I shall have to trust that Esme shall not steer me wrong.

Relinquishing control and trying new things is very frightening indeed.

Of course, Esme could sense this. She silently conveyed that she will be there beside me and that she has confidence in me. She surely should not, but I cannot deny her any longer.

Esme drew me a little closer in her embrace, placing her cheek against my temple. Have others' faces always been so soft? It surprised me.

The proposal is to make a sizable donation for the renovation and restock of Forks public library. This seems like an idea which will be of benefit to the public and might also indirectly please Bella. She does love books so. This is one of the few things I know of her.

I have made arrangements to move the funds and Esme has said she will approach the city council. We can spend the coming weeks of the summer vacation working on the plans and selecting titles to donate.

A/N: Please leave a review! Much nicer idea than building a reliquary from her garbage Edward. Well done Esme! What books should Edward put in the library for her?

Just a reminder that Edward cannot continue being so atrocious to everyone indefinitely. It is time he ate some humble pie. He will come back to you in his trademark Bonerward/Prudeward style, but he needs to have a difficult adolescence first. Thanks for bearing with him.

I plan on uploading the chapters without comedy in batches so that those who are here for the laughs aren't too alienated by the tonal change and can whizz through them. I sincerely hope you will fall in love with him on the other side of all of this. The only way out is through.

Thanks to the creative, kind and funny wh1teow1 for being the best beta for this story please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade!