How long is long enough when it comes to torture? Because the monster in me wants to see my father's blood splattered all over the walls. But the other part of me knows that he hasn't suffered enough yet. He's barely seen Chris's end by this point. Never mind Henry's. If anything, I have to at least wait for next week, right? Wait … a week? Is that even long enough to really torture the man with the death of his perfect baby boy? I should definitely let it go longer than a week, right? But even then, how long do I let it go? Just how broken can I actually make the man and how long will it take him to get there? Can I drive him mad through repeated watchings of his loved ones being brutally murdered, even taunted before their deaths? Is this culmination of my work even enough of a twist of the knife in his back? What more can I do at this point? Beyond his upcoming physical torture, I mean. I still hadn't decided what I was going to do for that. I thought of mixing up the various torture practices I had used up until this point, but part of me still wanted something all his own. One specific thing that would make me think of him the rest of my days. As to what that is, I still haven't decided. But whatever it is, it's going to have to wait for next week.
It's hard to do. My original plan was to go to the Toybox yesterday and play with Dad, but no, I need him to stew for just a little longer. So, it was back to the studio and work with Triss and Jenni. Jenni had some new tricks to teach me, which I latched onto right away. I melt into the silks when I dance in the air; they become a part of me. And my teachers are just as graceful on the silks. They make me so happy to work with them.
They started suggesting doing some tandem work, but even though I trusted them to teach me, I didn't trust them enough to work in that way with them. So, I turned them down and instead requested we work in the special area of the studio – the one made up to look like Gotham streets. It was basically a well-painted obstacle course, but it helped me keep limber for leaping around the city at night.
I don't know what it is about them that makes them such joys to be around. They're always smiling, always encouraging. But it never feels fake. Even though I walk out of the studio knowing that they've just gotten paid to spend time with me, and knowing that we aren't friends but more student and trainer, it still feels like I've spent my time with two trusted souls. I wouldn't exactly want to be friends with them, but they're nice to be around. That certainly makes my time with them easier. I'd hate to have to constantly break in new trainers because the old ones didn't work out. But J found two amazing girls right off the bat. I'll have to thank him for finding the perfect people for me.
Last night it was back at the Smile and Grin. I performed a different kind of dancing and even took over one of the booths for a little bit. I danced with Ariana again, that was fun. After getting thoroughly tipsy I took over for Benny behind the bar and made everyone a Harley Quinn. Of course, no one asked for a Harley Quinn. They would come up to the bar, place their order, and I would make them my special drink. The best part was, no one could say no! Who was going to refuse a drink called the Harley Quinn, from Harley Quinn, in the Joker's club? No one! Especially not when she adds "on the house" as she passes it over. Eventually, Benny heard what I was saying and tried to take his job back. I became obstinate and told him to let me do what I was doing.
I don't fully remember but I'm pretty sure Frankie had me over his shoulder at one point, carrying me fireman style. But was that before or after he held my hair back in the alley so I could puke?
I sent a text to Frankie first thing this morning, demanding aspirin and one of Sal's miracle sandwiches. He brought me the sandwich, pain pills, orange juice, apple juice, and the frothiest latte he could find. Which basically consisted of him insisting they "put cappuccino froth on the latte, that's how she likes it!"
It took me a little while to get over this morning's hangover. I really gotta start drinking water in between my shots. But when I finally did, Frankie drove me back to my studio. The girls never said a word about how late I was. I wondered if I was their only student and if they were paid on a per diem basis or if they were given a salary by J to be my personal trainers. I suppose it doesn't really matter. No matter how he's got it set up, these two work with me whenever I feel like going to my studio. And that's perfect.
Frankie brought me lunch and dinner and eventually insisted that I have to go home and get ready to go out with Daddy. Once again, there's someone due to come into the club and give his respects. At least I've heard of Monster T before, even if I haven't met him yet. I know exactly what I'm going to wear too – my new gold and black diamonds mini dress. I think my new gold Harley loves Joker necklace was just picked up yesterday and they will go perfect together. But now I need to put away my journal and finish my hair and makeup. Have to look perfect if I'm going to be out on Puddin's arm.