Mariana felt the weight of the world lift off her shoulders the second Chimney came out of the hole with Hayden in his arms. Joy surged forward and wrapped him in a hug as Hen joined them.
"We need to make sure he's alright. Let's get him back to the house," Mariana called over the roar of the storm. Joy scooped up her son and started to follow them but Mari paused, looking back at Chimney.
"Eddie's fine, he just needs a ride," he assured them. Mariana grinned and resumed walking behind Hen.
And then hell broke loose.
Lightning cleaved the sky in two, arcing down and striking the drill tower. It sparked and erupted into a crackle of electricity and gas, sending people flying and the truck falling to the ground. Mariana ducked in case of debris until the noise settled.
The truck had fallen. Directly onto the drill site.
She bolted towards it, skidding to a stop at the sight of Buck futilely digging in the mud until Bobby pulled him away.
"Eddie!" Buck cried as he tried to dig his friend out. Bobby pulled him back and turned to check on Mariana. He expected her to be shouting orders, searching for a shovel, anything. But Mariana was frozen solid with her eyes transfixed on the earth that just swallowed Eddie.
"Chimney!" Bobby shouted, gesturing towards the brunette. The paramedic gently touched her shoulder, snapping her out of her reverie.
"I need to help him," she murmured before she began to pull herself away from Chimney. "Let me go, I need to help him! I can't...we need him. I need to help him."
"Mari, you need to stay calm."
"I have to help him. You need to let me go!" She fought against his hold.
"Mariana! Forty feet of mud just collapsed on top of him. What he needs right now is you safe and thinking clearly."
The reality of his words sunk in and did the opposite of what he intended. She went limp in his arms and he gently helped her down to the ground as her knees gave out.
And the most dreadful, heartbreaking scream escaped her lips. It rang out over the din of the storm and pierced every person's heart. She keeled over, practically folding in on herself as she pulled his coat tightly around her body in an effort to protect herself.
"Mari, Mari, it'll be okay. He'll be okay," Chimney tried to console her but in that moment, he no longer saw the strong women that he saw everyday.
He saw a terrified young girl gripping the coat of a firefighter as they carried her from the danger that threatened to consume her life, the panic of a young teen holding onto his hand in the ambulance as she bled out from the compound fracture in her leg, and the young adult covered in the blood of her brother in the middle of the ER. He could see the look in her eyes and how she was both here, grieving the possibility of losing the love of her life and there, mourning the loss of her mother and father and brother and sister in law and grandmother. She had seen her fair share of loss. She had lived through enough death to last a lifetime. Grief was a familiar friend so it came as no surprise that she thought of the worst.
And here she was, gripping onto him like he was a lifeline and she was losing the last piece of herself.
"Mari, c'mon, let's get you out of this rain," Buck choked out. He assisted her up easily and helped her walk to the farmhouse until she could barely trudge through the mud and he just picked her up and carried her to the house. He set her in one of the rocking chairs on the porch and crouched down so he could be eye level with her.
"Mariana," he said gently. She stared at him blankly, her eyes unseeing and her face frozen in fear. Buck grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
"We'll get him out. He's fine. He'll be fine."
"I never…" Her voice cracked and she squeezed her eyes shut. "I never got to tell him…"
"You will. You will."
"It was supposed to be me." Grief stained her words and dripped down her throat and into her heart, her bones, her lungs. "I've asked God a million times. I've begged him. It should have been me."
"Mariana, don't you dare say that."
"Buck," Bobby said from the entrance of the porch. "We need you."
The team all cast worried glances at the practically catatonic brunette, but they knew they needed to focus on Eddie first. Buck looked around until he saw an officer standing off to the side of the porch. He quickly hopped up and moved to grab her attention.
"Hey, I was wondering if you could help me with something. One of our guys is trapped under the mud and we need to get him out but...we need someone to watch over one of our teammates. Can you just make sure she's alright?"
The officer eyed him carefully before looking over at Mariana who appeared so small in the huge overcoat and her crumpled form. The woman nodded and extended her hand.
"Faith Johnson. I'll get her to warm up and keep her dry," she promised.
"I'm Buck and that's Mariana. Thank you so much."
He dashed off to join the others while Faith approached Mariana. She gently laid a hand on Mariana's shoulder and the brunette flinched away, huddling back into the coat around her. Faith pulled her hand away and instead sat down on the dirty and muddy porch in front of her.
"Hi Mariana. Do you need anything or do you just want to sit here for a bit?"
"I need him safe," she whispered out. Her fingers enclosed around the polaroid in her hand and she bowed her head, letting out a broken sob. "I can't...I can't do this without him. What do I tell Chris? I-"
She fell silent, numbly staring at the ground before her. Her hands trembled and her eyes filled with unshed tears but she didn't let out a sound. Faith just sat and watched the broken woman before her.
It was like a movie played out in her mind. Every touch, every smile, and every laugh. She inhaled the scent of him from his coat once more, fresh tears springing to her eyes at the thought of yesterday morning.
Mariana groaned at the sound of the alarm ringing out from next to her. She shut her eyes and burrowed down into her pillow in an attempt to block out the annoying chirps and Eddie's laugh.
"C'mon, baby," he rasped out, voice hoarse from waking up. His lips trailed up and down the length of her spine as she sighed against his touch. "Gotta get up."
"Can't we just stay here forever?" she sighed, rolling over so she could face him. He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her deeply as she threaded her fingers through his short hair.
"I wish," he murmured. "You, in our bed, wearing this shirt…"
"Edmundo Diaz, are you objectifying me?" she teased.
He raised himself up on his arm so he could look down on her with a cheesy grin on his face. "Are you saying you don't want to be objectified by me? You're wearing my shirt that has my name on it and you and I both know that I have a thing for that."
"Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?"
He leaned down to whisper in her ear and her eyes widened at his words while her breathing hitched. She blinked rapidly and turned her head to look up at him.
"I should wash your mouth out with soap," she gasped out.
He threw his head back with a laugh as she wiggled out from under his arms. Eddie squeezed his hand across her hip and she paused before continuing her attempt to get out.
"Nope, no, nope. You insatiable horndog," she hissed. "Your son will be up in approximately four minutes and I need to start on breakfast to feed you two because you burn eggs."
He stopped her from leaving the bed one last time just so he could kiss her sweetly. "I love you."
She deepened the kiss before pulling away and dropping a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you for loving me."
"Always and forever." She slipped out of bed and pulled on her pajama pants, her dark hair falling over her shoulder in a way that made him just want to reach out and tangle his fingers in the soft tresses and never let her leave his bed.
"You better be up and in the kitchen in fifteen minutes," she warned.
"Hey, how about Carla watches Chris a little longer after work and we have a date night at home?"
Mariana paused and considered his question before eagerly nodding. "It's been awhile since we had a date night."
"And I'll do that thing I told you I would do," he teased. Color bloomed on her tan cheeks and she flipped him off as she bounded out of the room. His laughter echoed behind her and Mariana brightened at the sight of the young boy stumbling out of his room down the hall.
"Hey buddy, what do we want for breakfast today? Huevos rancheros? I think that's a brilliant idea."
She blinked, snapping out of the memories. Red and blue lights flashed across her eyes, reminding her where she was and what was happening. This ache consumed her chest as if half of her heart was missing.
If Eddie doesn't come back...I don't know if I can bury the love of my life, but I will do everything in my power to keep Christopher happy and safe.
The teams convened quickly to plan out a rescue mission but everyone could tell that not a lot of hope was being held out. How could he survive the mud crashing down on top of him and then the water flooding the area? This was most likely a body retrieval mission over a rescue mission.
No one dared to say that in front of the 118 and especially not in front of the woman sitting on the porch. Faith had offered to get her some dry clothes and Mariana had practically bit her head off at the mere mention of taking off the coat. And then she just went back to sitting there completely silent.
Her head picked up just slightly at the sound of shouting, but she couldn't tear her eyes from the photo in her hands. Nothing felt real and nothing felt fake. The world kept turning but it also felt like it came to a screeching halt.
Buck hopped up the steps of the porch and grabbed her hand, effortlessly tugging her to follow him. Mariana stumbled to her feet and let him drag her wordlessly through the mud. As they neared an ambulance, the crowd parted and Mariana raised her head to meet Eddie's eyes. Her body reacted before she could think as she launched herself at him.
He stumbled a bit but caught her easily, pressing his cheek against her rain soaked hair. Her hands clawed for purchase against his muddy back as she desperately tried to cling closer to him.
"I promised," he gasped out. "I promised I would come back."
"You asshole," she sobbed, pulling back so she could see his face better. Her hands grasped either side of his face and she tilted his head up and down and back and forth so she could get a better look at his injuries.
"You complete asshole," she choked out once more. She threw her arms around his neck and let out a broken, tearing sob as he encircled his arms around her waist. One of his hands drifted up to cradle the back of her head as she clung to him.
"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you God. Thank you thank you thank you."
"I thought I lost you."
His grip tightened on her. "Never. That is one promise I will always keep. You will never lose me."
He dreaded the thought of what her mind told her when he was under. Of what lies it whispered to her and the doubts that plagued her. She had looked practically shattered before she spotted him. He cupped her cheek with his icy hand but she hardly blinked in shock. Instead she practically pressed into his touch, shutting her eyes at the feel of his familiar calloused fingers against her skin.
"I'm okay," he whispered, settling his forehead against hers. She nodded, words failing her as she opened and closed her mouth. Eddie captured her lips with his, savoring the warmth of her and the taste of her on his tongue. Salty tears stained their kiss and he brushed away the tracks from her cheeks as he drew her in again and again, almost as if he were afraid to let her go.
"Hey guys," Chimney gently interrupted them. "I still have to medically clear Eddie and then you can go back to...that."
Mariana pulled away from Eddie with a sheepish grin on her face. Eddie tucked some of her dark hair behind her ear and nodded at Chimney. "Only if she stays in the ambo with me."
"Of course." Chimney looked surprised that he would even question that. Mariana and Chimney helped Eddie up into the ambulance and shut the doors behind them. The brunette dutifully unbuckled and helped Eddie shrug out of the suit as Chimney set up the machines to check vitals.
"Did you call Carla?" he asked.
"Buck did," Chimney answered for her. "She said Christopher is fine and she'll stay until you get back."
Eddie nodded his thanks but didn't tear his eyes off of Mariana. Guilt clouded her eyes and he reached out, tangling his fingers with hers. She bowed her head and kissed the back of his hand, refusing to meet his eyes.
Chimney worked quietly around them, only speaking when he needed to ask Eddie about any pain or health records. He was quickly able to clear him with just rest and no need for a hospital visit. He made himself scarce pretty fast, not wanting to be witness to whatever was about to happen.
"I couldn't...I couldn't breathe. When you went down. It's like the air had been punched out of my lungs and everything was so empty. It's like the world lost all color and I…" Her words trailed off and she squeezed his hand in an attempt to compose herself.
"Hey," he said gently. She raised her eyes to meet his. "I understand. When I was down there, I thought for just a moment what if it had been you and I couldn't even fathom how I would handle that."
"I knew that no matter what, no matter the outcome...I would do anything for Christopher. Whatever happened, I would keep him as safe and happy as I could. I would move heaven and earth for him."
"I know you don't want to admit it, but you make a pretty damn good mother. You've never said it, but I know you're worried about replacing Shannon. You aren't. But anyone can see just how much you love him."
She let out a wet laugh and shook her head. "Without you two, I would be entirely lost. I truly think we were meant to find each other in that club."
"What was it you said? Something about if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be?" he drawled out, his voice light with a hint of teasing tugging at the words. She rolled her eyes but grinned nonetheless.
"Are you ready to get home and see Christopher?" she asked.
"Please."