Thanks to stefaniacatioiu for reviewing. She also guessed where I was inspired from when Ryan dropped the roses and watched them going away. She answered it correctly and it was inspired by the scene in the beginning of season 3 when Trey's on a bus that leaves and Ryan watches it go away when Sandy comes and puts his arm around Ryan's shoulders. I always wished that scene would have gone on for longer.

Here we are. The final chapter after everything. Thanks to everyone who's been reading, reviewing, favorite'd and followed it.

This chapter is told from Ryan's point of view. I hope you enjoy it

"Aaaah." Mum leaned back on the beach with something in between a sigh and a moan in well- being.. "This is life. Or what do you say boys?"

"I'll never get tired of this." Trey leaned back too but I couldn't relax. "As long as we don't have to go back to Chino I wouldn't mind living for another hundred years."

"We're not going back to Chino boys. I'll make sure of it… what's wrong Ry? Why don't you come and relax some?"

I stomped a bit in the sand, it was like I already knew what was about to happen because I couldn't get myself to relax.

"Ry?"

Suddenly I noticed something by the horizon, it looked like a wave but was way, way bigger.

"What is that?"

Just a moment the water turned into a monster and swallowed us three and hundreds of people around.

"RYAN?"

My eyes flew open with a gasp at mum's shout- the last noise I had ever heard from her before the water swept us all away.

Somehow only just more than a year had passed since that dream had been real. Because ever since I had dreamt about the reality when I, Trey and mum arrived on the beach that dreadful day. And then the perfect vacation had turned into the most terrible. Because somehow it felt like I had dreamt about it a thousand times.

Still, there hadn't been more than a few days since wee were back in Thailand where I thought I might get some peace and closure after all. But still, the dreams continued…

I turned my bedside lamp on and then pushed myself to sit up. I always felt shaky after that dream. Even after all of this time it scared me.

And it had all started with that we three just wanted to get away from dad and Chino…

I flinched at a noise, I had been so far away in my own thoughts I barely noticed it when somewhere close, Maya started whimpering and crying.

Her cot had from the beginning been put in Sandy and Kirsten's room, then Maya started screaming and wouldn't calm down until I was there.

Sandy and some of the kids at school had questioned whether I really wanted to have it like this, but I really couldn't imagine anything better.

When I picked her up and rocked her towards me. When she opened her eyes and looked up at me, she seemed so innocent and fragile and it was like I couldn't imagine there was anything bad in this world.

Or rather something bad I would let close to her.

…"If I had known what girls it would be to get your attention I would have found a way to do it ages ago."…

Ever since I and Clark now both having a little sister that was way more important to us than anything else Tom had been bullying us about it in a friendly, teasing way.

Oh well, if he wanted to be like he usually was then let him. He had beat cancer yet another time, but we had been reminded that that wouldn't mean he wouldn't relapse again. And that time might be the last. Wow! That guy could really pull the cancer- card to do whatever he wanted!

"Hello." I sat down in the arm chair that had been put by the cot so I could take care of her without having to stand and sway on one foot or waste time with getting the prosthetic on in the middle of the night. "What's up baby?" She started crying louder. "Sch, sch, sch. It's okay. You're okay."

Most nights Maya would calm down when I held her.

But here and now, a few nights after we returned from Thailand for the second time in a year it was like she knew something I couldn't say. From the whimpering before I had reached her and picked her up, her voice had risen.

"What's wrong?"

I flinched a bit when we heard a bang from inside Seth's room, and I figured he had once again dropped his phone to the floor when he fell asleep.

He had done that many times by now, around here he'd meet his friends, then he'd be text messaging with Summer Roberts half the night until he fell asleep from exhaustion.

I knew the rest of the ones back in Newport- including Kirsten's "friend" Mrs. Cooper were blaming Seth for what had happened to someone named Marissa. But at least that meant the Cohen's were leaving them behind more and more for every day that passed by.

All he really missed behind was Summer, the only one that didn't blame him.

Somehow the bang must have scared Maya, because suddenly she was screaming bloody murder and with no signs of calming down.

"Sch, sch, sch." I tried. "It's okay. It's alright."

From Seth and Kirsten I couldn't hear a thing. Somehow they stayed asleep through all the screaming while I heard Sandy get up and coming into the hallway.

"Are you doing okay?"

"It's like something's wrong… Sch, sch, sch. If you could only tell us… Maybe she dreamed a nightmare or something…"

I knew for certain if I was as little and as fragile as her and had nightmares I'd have been crying too.

"She wouldn't eat much earlier." Sandy told me. "Maybe she's hungry now." I shrugged. "Come. We'll go to the kitchen and we might not wake up mummy or Sethy. Here…" Sandy lifted Maya carefully from my arms, I got the crutches and went after Sandy to the kitchen where he had started making a bottle of formula for her.

I sat down, took Maya again and then the bottle Sandy reached me that I held towards Maya's mouth. The answer of what she might be crying and screaming about was when she gladly started sucking from the bottle.

"Hungry? That's better, isn't it? Thank you, Sandy,… I'd have been up all night if you hadn't come."

"We'd all have been up all night…" Sandy smirked at me and tiredly sat down by me. "…Something even worse than your first night in Newport."

"Ugh." I moaned at the memories of the food poisoning from hell. "Don't remind me." Sandy just smiled and shook his head slightly while I looked down on Maya who was eating happily.

Sometimes I just couldn't help but envy Maya, Seth too and anyone else that had grown up in a completely different world that I had in Chino.

I didn't want to feel like that. But any time Maya started screaming there would be someone there to comfort her. Any time she was ill there would be someone there to take care of her, she'd never have to go hungry because there wasn't enough food.

And once again, just as clearly as I saw her in front of me and felt the bottle in my hand I saw in front of me what I still dreamed about.

"Are you okay Ryan?" Suddenly Sandy's voice reached through my thoughts. "You look like you're bothered by something. And I don't think it's just about the baby."

I hesitated for a while, then heard once again what Sandy had said when we were at the memorial in Thailand.

For my inner vision I could once again see the water turning into a monster that came towards me.

"You know you can tell me anything."

"It's just…" I hesitated. "I can…" As usual the way Sandy looked at me made me trust him. "Sometimes I still have nightmares."

"About Thailand?" I nodded.

Sandy didn't answer for a long while.

"Me too kid." He said at last and that sounded weirdly comforting. "Me too…" He silent for a few seconds again. "I hoped it would go away. And I know you must have had too but. There are people that can help, and maybe it's time to get some."

It didn't take much to realize what kind of people he meant.

"I don't need a shrink."

Sandy raised an eyebrow and there was at least a minute in silence before he started again.

"Maybe you don't… But maybe we do. You and I, Seth and Kirsten. Together as a family."

I was about to say I didn't need a shrink again, but just as I was about to I just realized how much like my biological family- Trey and mum and dad I sounded like.

Maya had finished her midnight meal and I held her towards my shoulder and bumped her up and down. When she was born it had been like tying together this family in a way I never knew someone could. Maya would never know a world where I wasn't her big brother and I would never think of her as someone that wasn't my little sister.

"You're right." I agreed at last. "As a family."

I didn't tell Sandy right then, and I wasn't sure if I ever would. But it was just when I said that, that I felt more than ever I was with my family now. And maybe this was the way it was supposed to be and it was among all the thousands upon thousands of victims in Khao Lak that day I was supposed to find a different type of family I had ever known.

I thought and remembered to Trey, mum and dad and all the difference that had been in between the Atwood's and the Cohen's.

I could never help all the pride that was roaring up inside of me with them. And even though we were both half asleep I was still bumping Maya up and down towards my shoulder when she burped.

"Did you hear that? She agrees… although she's now spit up all over my shoulder so I now have to change my shirt before I go back to bed. You can spit up all the times you want My." I handed her back to Sandy carefully so I could move. "And you can wake me up every night if you have to. I'll still be here for you and be your big brother."

Without actually wanting to I thought back to the first night in Newport and the food poisoning.

Then I really couldn't help but laugh when I thought about how Sandy had been there while I was just confused of why he didn't leave.

That really was a little piece of the eternity I had with these people that were my real family.

And we had the rest of our lives as a family to figure what there was more…

And there! The end!

I have re-written the ending quite a few times. I hope it made sense.

Random fact

I've been wondering if anyone at all who could like this chapter. It's a whole lot of describing what has happened since they came to Berkeley and what's happened afterwards.

And there. Curtains down, lights off and off we go.