Chapter sixty

Ed didn't know what to think or say or anything. How could his soul be two parts? But Al and Daddy had got to speak with the old Ed. That meant that they were probably sad about Ed being either Eds. Because they couldn't have both at the same time, which meant that one of them being there meant that the other one wasn't. That they wouldn't remember talking like that. And what if they felt sorry for Ed? What if they kept the youngest of them the most because everyone felt too sorry for him because he was so scared and upset and they didn't want any more of that? They had known the old Ed a lot longer and so it only made sense that they would want him more because Ed was now just a... Just a...

Just a result of not having the old Ed. But now that they had the old Ed back, then they hadn't known this version of himself for even three months...

...They would have been happier with the old Ed. They were bound to have been so because that was the one that Daddy had been crying over and that had made Al need a parent because he hadn't had his big brother.

But now.

Now they could have the old Ed in Ed's body and so they didn't need Ed. Ed was wrong and he made everyone sad by not being the old Ed and by being so scared because Lillian and Grant had hurt him. And so now everything was both wrong and right and he didn't know what to think or do or say or anything.

And so there was only one thing that he could do when everything became too much.

"I WANNA GO PET ROLF!" he yelled tearfully, standing up from where he was sitting on Daddy's lap. "LET GO, DADDY! I NEED TO THINK!"

Roy let go of his sobbing son, feeling completely at a loss as to how to otherwise react or feel. It only made sense that Ed needed to have some time to process it all, but Roy still wanted him to know just how much he loved him.

Ed, however, just ran out of the bedroom, sobbing, and Roy soon heard him shout once more. "ROLF AND I ARE BORROWING YOUR ROOM, AUNTIE RIZA, 'COS I NEED TO THINK ALONE!"

Roy's stomach was clenching violently. He felt like he was failing his kids no matter what he chose to do next.

"Dad, I'll go phone Audrey and tell her that we'll be a bit late because Ed has another round of things being a bit too much," Al said quietly. He too sounded like he needed some time to think everything over on his own.

Roy immediately reached forwards, not knowing what else to do, and grabbed Al's left hand in both of his. "Alphonse, I'm so sorry... But just... Just remember that I love you and that I'm not judging you for needing some time alone right now... But please just come to me if you want to talk, all right?"

Al nodded. "Thank you, Dad. And the same goes for you, okay?"

Roy nodded and stood up so as to be able to plant a kiss on top of his son's head, the cold metal still not really deterring him from wanting to show him affection.

"We'll figure this out, Dad, just like everything else," Al told him as he stood up, gently squeezing his father's shoulder before leaving the room.

Roy sat down on the bed and gripped his hair in frustration, guilt, horror, sadness, a bit of happiness, and just his inner turmoil in general, as he leant forwards on his elbows with his gaze fixed on the floor. He was unable to keep the two tears from falling to the carpet below him that surrounded the bed.

He didn't expect to suddenly have someone sit down next to him and begin rubbing soothing circles into his back. And so he froze, looking up at the person sitting there to his right, finding it to be Lieutenant Hawkeye. He saw out of the corner of his eye that she had closed the door as she had so silently walked inside the room. He knew she had been listening by the door earlier as it hadn't exactly been closed during their unexpected re-encounter with Fullmetal.

And right now she was looking at him kindly, a small tear at the corner of her right eye. "If you're the Roy-thing, Lieutenant, then I just want you to know that it's at a very bad time and that you should try again later," he said in exasperation, his emotionally tormented mind obviously figuring that bad jokes were the best approach to her presence.

She just sighed, still keeping her hand on his back. "I just thought that taking a break from professionalism wasn't such a bad idea right now, Roy, because you look like you need it."

Roy raised an eyebrow at her, his stomach clenching slightly at the use of his first name. It had been a long time since she had done it when it had only been the two of them. "I've really messed up, haven't I, Riza? Here I am, Colonel Mustang, Flame Alchemist, notorious womanising egomaniac of the Amestrian military..." He sighed heavily and decided to just give in to the urge to lie down on his back with a small grunt, crossing his arms over his chest. She was right and Roy would rather just listen to her as the father of two emotionally tormented children. After all, he really needed to talk to someone, and she knew him well and wasn't one for not opposing him if she thought he was wrong about something. Plus, Riza had most certainly seen him a lot more off duty than anyone else recently. Even Maes hadn't been there for the morning baths with the duckies and their names and the Ticklemonster.

...So there really wasn't any point to uphold their professionalism now. In fact it would in many ways be an insult to how much he truly trusted her. "...And then suddenly I'm Ed and Al's father, I haven't been drinking for all that time, and it seems like I'm even single and staying that way... And yet I don't really mind that part. I love my boys to bits... And my scary bodyguard who threatens to shoot me if I procrastinate and who is the epitome of the perfect assistant, is now sitting next to me on a double bed, in my hotel room, keeping me company because I could use a friend, looking at me with sadness, exasperation and something that looks like you're thinking about me being the Ticklemonster."

"You're not wrong, Roy... Although you are sounding just a bit too suggestive..." she added with a small and accusatory glance at him.

Roy actually chuckled a bit at that. "Old habits die hard." He spoke with a weak smile on his lips, before sighing heavily yet again. "And besides, you're Ed's Auntie Riza... You don't mess with that title. Ed's titles are sacred." He saw the faint and fond smile in her eyes, before he frowned. "You know, mentally separating Ed from Fullmetal isn't such a bad idea... Otherwise the sacred title bestowed upon me would be Colonel Bastard Daddy..." His lips tilted upwards just slightly, but then he felt like they became stiff, a telltale sign of those tears he was trying to keep at bay, and the lump in his stomach pulsed again. "Riza, I know that this might seem as a very bad way to start a sentence, but please just hear me out... Because I think I should discretely begin looking into human transmutation."

Understandably enough, she froze, paling. "Yes, that is definitely not a good way to start a sentence."

He felt his lips trembling and clenched his fists in order to hopefully keep the tears at bay for a bit longer. "You know how Al asked me to talk to him alone?" Roy said in a low voice.

His question was met by a concerned and slightly frightened look. "What's wrong, Roy?" she asked in an equally low voice.

He took a long, shaky breath to brace himself. "Al and I had a bit of an epiphany... You see, what with how them trying to bring Trisha back to life, they failed miserably because the price for her soul hadn't been paid... So when Al's was worth an arm, we started thinking about how he can't actually have died that night when the toll for his soul was so low, which means that his soul still had a living, breathing body at the time when Fullmetal pulled it back... And so..." A tear quickly began building in the corner of his eye. "...And so we have a theory about Ed's increasing need for sleep and about how he eats about three times as much as a boy his size actually should... And why he doesn't gain any weight from it..."

Riza's eyes widened with fear and horror. He could tell that she had reached the same conclusion as him.

Another couple of tears ran down both his cheeks, desperation growing inside him, his voice breaking slightly. "I-I... I need a backup plan in case we don't get his body back in time... Otherwise I'll lose them both and I can't... I just can't do that... If I could find a way to somehow transfer how Ed is sustaining Al's body to my own, then I'm far better suited to keep Al's body going... I'm a grown man, and Ed is..." Roy couldn't get himself to even finish. The thought of losing both Ed and Al in such a way...

...It would be like their time as his sons was just some kind of hospice. Or like when an old pet got a new home and they had such a happy time, but then died not long after. As if he was taking them in to make their last few years, perhaps just months, into the best that they had had.

He couldn't even imagine losing his sons like that. Which meant that they needed to take Ed to a doctor to take some blood samples, just to see if Ed was developing some sorts of nutritional deficiencies caused by the way he was supporting Al's body single-handedly. "We'll have to go talk with Izumi once we're done here. Perhaps she has some theories or even a solution to it." Roy hadn't discussed it with anyone, but he had a strong feeling that she had performed human transmutation herself and that that was what was causing her to be so ill. Because it had been obvious that both her and Sig had wanted kids, and so he was fairly certain that she had once tried to have brought their child back to life.

But there was no point dwelling on that when he was currently unable to come up with a solution.

Because fact was, he ought to use these few minutes of alone time to talk with Riza because he barely got any these days. And especially now with what had happened to Ed the previous day and the way that he needed his father more than ever. And so Roy needed to do this before he would go and talk with his sons and push it all away again in order to take care of them.

He felt his chest constrict at the memory that was consuming his mind at that moment. "It hurt... I... I've been thinking so much about it ever since we found Ed... About how Fullmetal would have reacted... About what he would have said... What his voice would have been like..." Roy bit his lip as he took a deep breath and then closed his eyes. "But having it... Getting it in that way... To have my sweet boy look at me in horror and confusion for hugging my other son, and just... Just asking me why I'm hugging Al... Having that so familiar voice belonging to my son, sounding like him, but the words holding none of that sweet love. Just horrified confusion... And so awkward. I can understand why he would be, but he just looked... He looked so Fullmetal, but like he was borrowing Ed's body. And that hurt. It hurt and made me happy and frustrated and everything in between and now I've got a terrified boy whose world has become even scarier than it already was. And I just don't know what I'm actually supposed to do any more." He wiped the tears away from his eyes before he looked up at Riza. "Do you know?"

She sat there, thinking for about ten seconds, before she answered softly. "I think that that is very simple when you think about it, Roy... Because you should just keep making them happy. They've been guiding you most of the time ever since Ed sat down on your chest with his arms crossed and told you that you weren't leaving until you told him what he needed to know. So you just need to continue to listen to them and be there for them, just like they are for you. They're Elric-Mustangs with a hyphen, they've basically tied themselves to you and they love you, just like you love them. None of you really know what this is supposed to be like, and you all just follow your guts. And all three of you are just too stubborn to let this get in the way of you being a family."

Roy felt his stomach clench harder. "I guess you're right... Thank you, Riza." Then he frowned, realisation hitting him. "But you know that you are strictly speaking included in that family by now? You've been Ed's Auntie Riza for over two months now and you've been living with us ever since we left for Dublith." He ran his right hand through his fringe, before a small chuckle escaped his lips. "Funny how a five-year-old Edward Elric can be so amazingly cute that he has basically turned my assistant into something like a professional little sister." The words felt odd on his tongue. Very odd, and then he sighed, removing his hand from his forehead, as he looked back up at Riza's slightly awkward expression. "Have to admit that part of me still has trouble believing that all of this has actually happened to me. 'Flame Alchemist Colonel Roy Mustang: father of two,' sounds like a joke... The thing that brings me the most joy in my life, sounds like nothing but a joke, and a bad one at that..." He sighed heavily, closing his eyes. "Which just goes to show that life is even more unpredictable than I had ever imagined."

There was silence for a bit longer than Roy had thought there would be. But then Riza spoke softly. "You do know that I'm disobeying orders, right, Roy?"

He felt the lump in his stomach grow. None of them had brought it up before now, but there was no way to avoid the fact that Roy had a pair of sons that he couldn't leave by putting himself on trial as a war criminal. "I'm sorry, Riza," he told her with a sigh. Roy had felt a pang of guilt when they had gone to the beach and she had been wearing that bathing suit that had gone high enough up her back to have hidden the array.

She just shook her head with a slight smile. "Like you said, Roy, Ed's titles are sacred, and so I wouldn't have been much of an Auntie if I shot his Daddy in the back."

There was an odd mixture of emotions filling him at her words. He was grateful, amused, still slightly guilty and with his stomach clenching, but most of all...

"It's actually pretty unnerving to have you refer to me as 'Daddy'..." he said with an awkward snort of laughter. "But that brings us to one final thing I've been considering to ask you about, because I think it would help Ed because he could really use some added safety and warmth when he is with us. So would you be all right with just being on first-name terms from now on? Just to remove that militaristic air around you being his Auntie Riza?"

Roy wasn't demanding anything of her because of their history and the fact that when they had last been on first-name terms, had been when Roy had been studying under Master Hawkeye.

She gave him a small nod. "Like we agreed on, Roy: Ed's titles are sacred."

Another wave of gratefulness surged through him and he sat up and pulled her into a hug before he really knew what he was doing. Roy had hugged Riza Hawkeye on two occasions before this: when the ambulance had taken her father away, and when Roy had dressed the wounds that he had inflicted on her back. None of those times had she hugged him back, and so it was an odd feeling to have her suddenly sneak her arms around his waist and rest her chin on his left shoulder. Roy just closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "Thank you, Riza."

She just gave him a single nod into his shoulder, and they sat there for a little while, before Roy pulled back and returned to his original position and looked up at her once more, his arms crossed over his chest. "Just as a matter of interest, what do you actually think of the fact that I've been changing so much in these past few months?"

She seemed to ponder the question for a few seconds, before offering him another small smile, but with a genuine warmth on her features. "I think fatherhood suits you... As well as you now having a reason to live."

Roy didn't have time to reply before the door was opened and a small, blonde face appeared in the doorway, looking a bit excited, even if his face was still slightly red from crying.

And most of all, Ed looked like he wanted a hug from his Daddy.

Something that Ed fixed on his own without seeking confirmation first or giving Roy enough time to sit up properly before he set off. And so the small feet carried their owner as quickly as possible, before he started climbing up on Roy's lap.

Roy, of course, helped him and hugged him tightly with a kiss to his forehead. "Daddy, Al told me something really important," Ed announced as he pressed himself into Roy's chest.

"Oh, and what was that?" Roy asked gently. He was getting his hopes up that this wouldn't make Ed distance himself from him because of what they had discovered.

"The old Ed had whispered to Al that he didn't really feel at home in the way that my body is now, so he's really happy knowing that I can take care of you for him without him feeling bad about not wanting to be in the body of a five-year-old for long amounts of time. So he just wants me to be here and take care of you."

Roy felt his stomach clench with both sadness and relief and kissed the top of Ed's head.

"And he also said that 'his body felt a lot happier than it had before, and so he would rather pop in at odd times in a really happy body... One that is so happy that he can just about handle being around his creepy boss that hugs him without his permission, though he'd rather you didn't 'cos it's creepy and weird. Like really, really, really weird. And creepy. Really, really, really weird and creepy. And he doesn't really want to be spending a lot of time physically craving it because my body loves his Daddy. And that he's gonna get permanently psychologically scarred by being around you for too long because you're the Ticklemonster.'"

Roy froze, eyes widening. "...You know, Ed... That sounds like Fullmetal."

Al suddenly appeared in the doorway as well. "So all in all, Dad, Big Brother wants Ed to enjoy everything that makes him happy, as long as he can be a teenager who can be my big brother and save the day if we're in danger... Because life is really just too weird for him otherwise, even if he is grateful and happy for us and doesn't blame you. So do you know what that means?" Al's voice was still a bit sad, though mostly happy and sounding just a bit devious.

"Wha- GAHAGHA!" Roy exclaimed as Ed's small hands shot up to both sides of his neck and began tickling him relentlessly, causing Roy to lie down on his back with Ed on his chest, gasping for air in between laughter and desperately trying not to hurt his son.

"TICKLEMONSTER JUNIOR! TICKLEMONSTER JUNIOR!"

wardenprincess: Thank you! I really love little Ed myself, and so I needed to have this chapter end like this XD

echznmay: I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed the little plot twist, pun intended, because I have been toying with the idea for over a year now :)

lizyeh2000: Psychic indeed XD I hope you'll keep enjoying the story!

WinterCo: Thank you so much! I love writing this story, so I have no plans of abandoning it :)

And thank you so much to the rest of you readers, favouriters and followers, and please keep reviewing (But no flames, please ;))