A/N: Happy weekend!
Pulling up outside Emma's house, Regina kills the Benz's engine and sits for a moment in the dark; listening to the clicks and whirs of the car shutting down until she is left with only the light patter of the rain. From her vantage point, the blonde's house looks empty, the lights off and the curtains in the living-room drawn, although this is nothing new. She has visited the Sheriff enough times to know that the house is much too large for her, with several of the rooms seldom used. Ordinarily, she will find Emma at the back of the house, in the kitchen or mooching around on one of the sofas overlooking the garden. A pale glow catching the tall pine trees leading from the blonde's unkempt yard to the forest beyond lets her know that the lights are on further inside, and she steps from her car and hurries up the steps to avoid getting caught in the rain.
Knocking several times, she receives no answer, and she frowns as she experiences another bout of mixed emotions to rival any occasion when she has previously professed to feel confused. Battling down rage, uncertainty, guilt and concern, she knocks once again, raising her voice as she slams the knocker against wood.
"Emma, open the door."
Nothing, and she seethes, grimaces, sighs.
"Open the door, or I'll do it myself..."
She warns loudly, taking the silence that follows as an invitation to do as she's threatened. Unlocking the door with a flick of her wrist, she waits for a brief moment to see if she will be met with retaliation before letting herself into the hallway.
"Miss Swan?"
She calls, her heels clicking loudly as she stalks through the shadows, before letting herself into the kitchen where she finds the younger woman sat at the table with her head in her hands.
I know the feeling, dear.
You deserve a lot worse.
I'm sorry.
"Are you ignoring me, or are you just being generally rude?"
She asks haughtily, noting several bottles of beer with their labels peeled clean off; the torn paper littering the table like confetti. Emma raises her head from the safety of her palms and considers her glumly, her eyes hard, but the set of her jaw giving her anxiety away.
"How are you feeling?"
She asks lamely, earning herself a withering glower as Regina stares her down dangerously.
"Do you honestly care? If so, you have a funny way of showing it; slinking off as soon as I was out of it."
"I... I wasn't sure whether you'd want me around, I... Of course I care."
Emma frowns, and the darker woman raises a brow to challenge her irritably, knowing full well that the blonde tells her the truth.
"Really?"
She counters coldly, hoping to get a rise out of the younger woman, and dreading it at the same time.
"Of course."
Emma insists again, looking both hurt and a little annoyed.
"You have a funny way of showing it."
Regina repeats, and the blonde runs her hand through her hair as she grows increasingly flustered, arguing uneasily
"You know I care. I just... I wasn't sure... I-"
"-What weren't you sure about? Your uncertainty is news to me. You've been fairly bold of late, Saviour, so don't back away now that I'm calling you on it. You're not so sweet and innocent as all that."
"I-"
"-Which, I will admit, is something you've warned me about more times than I can count."
The darker woman interrupts, her tone still dripping with fire, but her stance softening from combative to neutral.
"... You remember?"
Emma asks her finally, and Regina lets out a harsh bark of laughter devoid of humour as her eyes blaze dangerously.
"I remember."
She agrees silkily, taking a step towards the table and stifling the urge to chuckle, shout, reprimand, console when Emma responds by pushing herself surreptitiously back into her chair in a bid to maintain a safe distance.
There's no such thing. You should know better.
It's unpleasant, isn't it, being confronted with what you've done?
I understand. You were in a difficult position.
"Regina, you know I would never-"
"-Shut up. All I know about you, Saviour, is that there's no such thing as what you would 'never' do."
The brunette snaps, and Emma bristles uncomfortably as she points out
"I could say the same for you."
Earning herself a snarl, and she continues carefully, looking down at her half-empty bottle of beer.
"At least, now I can. Now that you're both parts. Now that you're whole... And, you know more about me than what I did in the Enchanted Forest, Regina. You know more about me than anyone."
"I should hope so, given what I experienced."
The darker woman muses silkily, before rewording this sentiment to better suit how she feels.
"I should hope I know you better than most, as it's reciprocal. And I imagine that pertains to both my shock at your behaviour, and my surprise in how it's made me feel."
"That really depends on how it's made you feel."
Emma points out, clearing her throat, and she flinches when Regina moves to brace her palms on the table but doesn't look away.
"I feel many things..."
The brunette replies honestly, and the younger woman nods slowly as she can understand this and then some. Unsure what else to say that might save her from the intensity of the Mayor's gaze, she wets her lips nervously and offers in what she hopes is a neutral tone
"Do you want a drink?"
Silence, the darker woman merely staring her down, drinking her in, and she swallows, her throat rippling, as she pushes herself cautiously from her chair.
"I'll get you something."
She offers to break the silence, aware that she holds her breath as she walks past the Mayor; refraining from moving out of her way to allow Regina space, remaining in easy reach and wondering whether the brunette means to strike her.
She allows herself to breathe again when she reaches the counter, gathering her nerves before stiffening as the darker woman lays a hand on her shoulder.
"You say you consider me whole."
The brunette addresses her softly, and Emma frowns down at the worktop as she agrees warily
"I thought that was the point?"
"That doesn't mean you're obligated to feel any certain way about it."
"I guess not... I consider you you, Regina. The Queen, the Mayor, Henry's mother, my... well, I was going to say friend, but I don't want to be presumptive given everything that's happened, and to me, you're a lot more to me than that."
"In what way?"
"In every way."
Emma replies simply, aware that she blushes slightly, but she's not only referring to their recent admissions of carnal interest.
"In every way..."
Regina tries these words out for herself, seeming to think them over as she taps her fingers thoughtfully on the younger woman's shoulder, considering soft curls that smell faintly of her shampoo.
"You feel guilty."
She accuses finally, lowering her hand but remaining where she is; a little too close for comfort, as has always been her way when it comes to the blonde.
"Sort of."
Emma allows her finally, not daring to reach for the cupboard to pull down a glass as she can feel the Queen's proximity; her promise.
"Sort of?"
"I feel embarrassed more than I feel guilty. I played the same game you were playing. I had to, and a part of you knows that. It's the other part I worry about. I think that part might feel that I grossly overstepped with some of my actions, and maybe she's right, I'm not so sure now that we're not in the heat of the moment, and that makes me feel pretty gross in myself."
"... Would you take any of it back?"
Regina asks, and when she is met with silence, she smiles slowly before snapping at the blonde sharply, keeping her purposefully on edge.
"Given the nature of the things you speak of, you could at the very least face me, Miss Swan."
Maintaining her stance so that they stand almost nose to nose when Emma complies, she offers the blonde a hard look as she quietly admits in kind
"I, too, suffer some embarrassment. It isn't in my nature, and I don't care for it."
"No. I can tell."
The blonde replies, careful to keep her tone entirely serious lest the darker woman think she's teasing her. She imagines that teasing Regina right now would be a decidedly bad move.
"...Would you take any of it back?"
She asks finally, and she clenches her teeth as the Queen's eyes flash dangerously, wondering whether she should be readying herself for a fight that she has neither the will nor the energy to participate in.
"What do you think?"
Regina hisses, finding the younger woman's throat as she has several times before now. Wondering if Emma will reply or retaliate. Wondering if the blonde will call her on the trick she'd played delving into her thoughts. If she'll accuse her of crossing the line in threatening her baby brother.
The Sheriff does nothing.
"Are you scared?"
She asks curiously, pressing down until she feels the younger woman's blood thrumming against the pad of her thumb.
"Should I be?"
Emma asks, and the Queen shows her teeth.
"You know what I can do. What I'd like to do to you."
"You know what I can do, too... And I honestly don't. Not now."
"But you're not sure whether you're scared of me?"
"Mm. Well, as you've suggested many times, I'm an idiot."
"Quite."
Regina agrees, closing her eyes as she concentrates and feeling a hitch in the younger woman's breath as the kitchen goes suddenly dark. Smiling, she takes a step back, careful as she places her foot down to keep from making any noise. She's acutely aware of the whisper of the blonde's breath as she remains stood with her backside pressed against the counter, apparently waiting for a clue as to what comes next.
The Queen allows her to keep on waiting as she takes another silent step back.
"You said you meant to kill me, Miss Swan."
She muses softly, speaking into the shadows.
"I did. I meant it at the time. I was upset."
Emma replies.
"You were. It was an ugly look on you."
"I know that. But, I stand by it."
"Yes. That seems in character... I've always liked that about you."
"No, you haven't."
"Hmm... Maybe you're right."
Regina chuckles softly, although her tone carries little humour.
"Do you stand by the rest of what you told me? Your admissions? Your threats?"
"I don't want you dead. The rest stands."
Emma replies, and the darker woman cocks her head curiously, nipping her bottom lip with her teeth.
"And me? Do you think I feel the same?"
"I really can't answer that, Regina."
The blonde reasons quietly, and the brunette allows the silence to draw out between them purposefully as she can feel the younger woman preparing to use her power should she need it.
"Are you sure you aren't scared?"
She goads finally, refusing the Saviour an answer as to her intent.
"I'm not scared, but I am surprised that you'd play this little trick, given how unimpressed you insisted you were when I played it first."
Emma growls, and the Queen breaks out into a wide smirk, tempted for a moment to offer the blonde her own beast made of darkness as the younger woman had conjured in the halls of her palace, but that's not where she's planning to go with this and so she refrains.
She has heard enough.
They are both whole. Both light, both dark, both guilty, and both have their reasons.
She knows what she wants, what all of her wants. Part of her yearns for another taste. Part of her- a larger part of her- wants what has been promised, what she never thought she'd have.
And I'm not alone...
She smiles, seeking inspiration not from the blonde's cruel games, but from her admissions at the mercy of the veritae. After all, that's what has been on her mind most of all since regaining full consciousness of self; Emma's truths, forced from her lips, pertaining to both parts of her. All of her. How she feels. What she sees. What she wants.
Pulling from the blonde's own story, she conjures the wild rushing whine of a cart careening along a track between them, sending out a gust of wind in its wake that sends her hair streaming back from her face.
"Ah!"
Emma yelps, her surprise momentarily visible as the Queen allows the overhead light to flicker with a maddening strobe effect before plunging them once more into darkness.
This time, when she moves, she does so purposefully; allowing the Saviour to hear the dangerous click of her heels as she approaches her to take her hand.
She suppresses the urge to laugh when the blonde flinches nervously at her touch, before taking cold fingers between her own and squeezing dominantly as she leads the younger woman to stand in front of the counter below the window; the moon turning the very tips of her hair silver as they remain otherwise lost in darkness.
Keeping hold of Emma's hand, she leans in and kisses her slowly, experiencing a sudden surge of arousal knotting her stomach as she does so; the act in some ways familiar, and in many ways new and exciting. Dangerous.
Inevitable.
Demanding entrance, she notes that Emma, too, seems unsure of where she stands; one moment returning her affection hungrily, the next moment trembling slightly as it dawns on her that this isn't like their power-play back in the Enchanted Forest. This is real. This is everything the Queen had mocked her for ever thinking might happen. What she'd been forced to admit she'd fantasized about.
"Regina-"
"-Shut up."
The brunette demands once again, furthering her performance based on the younger woman's recanting of true-events as she guides Emma's hand pointedly to slip inside the low-buttoned silk of her shirt.
Another hitch of the younger woman's breath, and Regina bites her lip gently, before murmuring in her ear
"You played with my teenaged recollections, I'll play with yours, Saviour."
Bringing her hands down to the blonde's waist, she goes back to kissing her with mounting urgency as she unfastens tight denim and dips her fingers inside scant cotton.
Up above, the lights flicker again, and the ghost-cart rattles past them with another impossible gust of air.
"Let's see if you, how did you put it, see stars..."
Regina murmurs against parted lips, relishing the way the blonde's tentative touch to her breast stiffens in her startled surprise at her suggestion.
Getting down onto her knees in the darkness, the brunette tugs the younger woman's jeans roughly to her ankles, before dragging her underwear down to follow.
"Sorry we're not in my office. I know you wanted me to do this under my desk."
The Mayor teases, her tone scolding and rife with disapproval, and Emma swallows as wicked fingers trace the inside of her thigh.
"I can't believe you know about that now..."
She mutters awkwardly through clenched teeth, aware that her cheeks burn scarlet as the brunette calls her out.
"Mm. I can't believe you thought I'd get on my knees for you."
"Well..."
The blonde clears her throat pointedly as she rests a hand on the darker woman's shoulder.
"Oh, it's not the act, but the presumption I take issue with."
Regina states primly, punishing the Sheriff for her nervous laughter with her tongue.
"Fuck, okay..."
Emma chokes, threading her fingers into the darker woman's hair, and all thoughts of that long-ago carnival tryst that have shaped their current scene swiftly shatter as the brunette's skills far surpass the Sheriff's first sapphic explorations in the dark.
"Oh my god..."
She groans, reaching back to grip the counter tightly as her knees threaten to give out on her.
Taking heed of the quickening of the blonde's breath, Regina dips deep and takes her over the edge, pushing herself to her feet as the younger woman shudders tellingly and finding her lips hungrily as she replaces the teasing flick of her tongue with a hard thrust of her fingers to earn herself a startled sob. Revelling in that sound, she stills her hand to marvel at the way that the desperate fluttering of the blonde's inner muscles matches her quiet panting as she struggles to get herself under control.
"I never let myself admit I wanted to do that..."
Regina murmurs against the flushed apple of the younger woman's cheek as she trails slick fingers up the sharp peak of her hip.
"Oh, well, you know... You're welcome."
Emma mumbles breathlessly, yelping when the darker woman bites at her throat in reprimand.
"So did you?"
Regina demands as she soothes the sting of her teeth with the flat of her tongue.
"Hmm?"
"See stars?"
The brunette laughs darkly, and Emma swallows as she pulls herself together, before closing her eyes and playing her own hand to retaliate; opening them to find Regina looking back at her under the soft glow of the constellation of glow-in-the-dark stars suspended from the ceiling.
"Pretty."
Regina muses, not bothering to keep her surprise from her tone, and Emma simply nods as she's in full agreement face to face with the Mayor.
"A kid I knew had stickers like that in his bedroom."
Is all that she says out loud, and Regina raises a brow as she considers the impossible galaxy overhead.
"This is a lot more impressive than stickers, Miss Swan."
"Good... Often I fall short when I try to impress you."
"Do you try often? I haven't noticed."
Regina replies, both teasing and truthful.
"Hmm. I doubt I'd ever admit it."
Emma grins, struggling to keep her emotions in check when the darker woman reciprocates with a smile reminiscent of every evening they've sat laughing together.
"I'm sorry I did what I did with the diary."
She offers quietly in light of the Queen's choice to play nicely- deliciously- in her retribution.
"It was cruel."
Regina agrees, her skin glowing under the starlight.
"I wanted you to understand how it felt."
Emma admits.
"Do you believe I'm inexperienced in suffering cruelty? Did you think you were the first?"
"Of course not, but that's not what I meant. Not all that I meant. You shocked me using that hood. You knew it too, and asked me several times to admit it, so, of course, I couldn't. I had to tell you I wasn't bothered and that I let you win, which was true. I had to remain calm, though, or it would have been worse... Honestly, I was surprised you still saw me that way, even as the Queen- just the Queen- I was surprised that you still saw me as nothing. Dirt... I was still pissed about the dress, more on your behalf than my own- I guess that's weird to say now- but I was personally affronted that you'd, I don't know, demote me like that. It was hurtful, mostly because it was unexpected. What you did was cruel, but it felt that way more so because it was you. I wanted you to feel that sting. I wanted you to understand that I was just as capable of dismissing all my previous feelings for you as though you were nothing. Using Daniel to hurt you would have been a wicked trick coming from anybody, but I knew it would cut deeper coming from me. At least, I hoped it would."
Emma frowns uncomfortably, and the brunette nods.
"It did. I told you when strung up as my darker half that the realisation of your inhumanity would shock me upon regaining full understanding, and it did. But remember, dear, you're apologising to both parts of me; the part that wasn't present when you made some admittedly heinous decisions, and the part that spurred you into making them. I am shocked, but I'm not blind to the facts of our little situation. In a way, I'm relieved."
"Relieved?!"
"As I said, in a way... If I had done this- if I had become whole- only to find my Evil had treated you as she did, and you had done nothing but suffer for it, how would I look at you now? How would I ever speak to you again, or hope that you would wish to speak to me, if you'd shown me your throat and offered me obedient submission?"
"That's not really my style."
Emma replies, and Regina narrows her eyes as she's not convinced. Reading the accusation glittering in dark eyes easily, the younger woman clears her throat as she elaborates silkily
"Have you ever known me to be obedient?"
"No, but I doubt you'd admit to being submissive, either, when I know otherwise."
"I'm not sure you can really base your opinions on the events of the last few days."
"I'm not."
The brunette replies simply, and the blonde frowns at her, before breaking into a smirk as she confides
"I wouldn't admit to it, as it's rarely true. A lot of how I am around you is rare for me. But it's not so simple as being just one thing... That, I guess, is a lesson that should be taken from the last few days."
"Nothing about this is simple."
Regina agrees, glancing up with a furrowing of her brow as the stars disappear and the overhead light comes back to life. Looking back at Emma, her complaint dies on her lips as she drinks in pale thighs left openly on display, and the younger woman follows the direction of her gaze and mimicks the question the Queen had hissed at her in the throes of punishment.
"Do you want me to take these off?"
"You know how I feel about your fashion choices."
The brunette replies slyly, rolling her eyes with an irritable sigh when Emma meets this response by pulling her jeans back up.
"Really? After everything, it's still so easy to hurt your feelings? I-"
But she falls silent when the younger woman closes her eyes and turns denim and wool to the tight leather favoured in the castle. Taking a trick out of the Queen's book, she leaves her hair as it is and her face bare, offering the darker woman a taste of both worlds.
"They're not hurt. Don't flatter yourself."
"... But I do it so well."
Regina smirks in a bid for a truce, and Emma nods as she considers her opponent pensively.
"Mm. Don't look so smug. It's not exactly impressive when you have so much to work with."
"I can't help that."
The brunette replies, feeling both flustered and entirely serious as her internal war rages on, but it's beginning to feel less hellish as her arrogance and humility navigate ways to live peacefully together in the same space.
She finds it's hard to think about this or anything else when the Sheriff leans in to kiss her; no longer tentative and expecting punishment as she backs her towards the kitchen table until she perches on its edge. From there, the brush of the blonde's lips becomes swiftly more sordid; mouth open and teeth in play as she positions herself between the Mayor's legs.
Regina reciprocates eagerly, recalling her fraught anticipation of the younger woman's kiss in Daniel's cottage; on edge and terrified of ruining something she hadn't realised at the time was beyond any imaginable description of fucked.
Recalling the blonde's first hand of acceptance in the game she'd enforced upon them; tasting her through the bars with a shocked cry as her bold idiocy had earned her a bloody lip.
Biting down now, she's unsurprised when Emma makes no move to pull away, and she eases up of her own accord when she tastes copper.
Sharp teeth chafe her throat in return and she tilts her head back to invite more.
She runs her hands over form-fitting leather with a shiver, and the younger woman reciprocates by freeing her from her jacket without pulling back to catch her breath.
"Careful with that."
The Mayor warns, and finally, Emma pulls away as she considers this request; eyes dark, lips bloody.
Remembering the way the darker woman had rendered her ensemble to useless ribbons in a bid to humiliate her, she meets fiery coals dangerously as she folds the expensive material and places it to one side.
"Thank you."
Regina breathes, watching intently as the blonde works slowly south to unfasten the buttons of her shirt before spreading the soft silk wide to reveal delicate lace.
"You were so hesitant to look at me before..."
She muses quietly, feeling her stomach tighten with anticipation as the Sheriff drinks her in shamelessly now.
"I didn't want to see what I shouldn't."
"It was offered."
"It was pretty much forced down my throat, Regina, but not by all of you."
"How chivalrous."
"Not exactly. I didn't want to see what I shouldn't, only to never be offered the opportunity again. That seemed a dangerous treat."
"I see... You know, I felt the same way down in the dungeon."
"You were being kind."
"I was being careful. For my sake as well as yours."
"I guess we both do that a lot."
"That's not always a bad thing... And the offer's still there if you dare take it."
Regina smiles, arching her back into the blonde's touch as pale fingers cup globed lace while their cousins trace the soft curve of her ribs.
"Strip."
Emma whispers in her ear, repeating the sordid request they have each made in an attempt to dominate the other and cause discomfort.
Raising a brow, Regina waits as the younger woman takes a couple of steps back to study her fully.
"You're sure you can handle it?"
She teases, her mind flashing with the image of enchanted rope and the Saviour snarling at her.
"It's not me that I'm worried about."
Emma replies softly, and the Queen bites her bottom lip in anticipation as she decides to obey the younger woman's command.
We'll just see about that, dear.
Peeling away unfastened silk, she reaches back to unhook her bra and removes the burgundy lace slowly before running a finger gently down her exposed flesh from sternum to navel.
"I asked you before, and I'll ask you again; is this how you pictured it?"
She purrs, receiving little in the way of an answer as Emma simply waits expectantly for her to continue. Still, she forgives the blonde her rudeness easily as there is very little doubt in the intensity of her gaze.
"Lost for words? I have that effect."
She teases, slipping out of her pants and lingerie but keeping her heels on. Pulling herself back up onto the table, she sits with her legs gently spread as she allows the younger woman time to take her in fully, aware of the heat creeping up her throat as the Sheriff accepts the offer with little pretence.
"I have pictured this."
Emma admits quietly, and Regina offers her a smile born from a blend of smugness and surprise, relishing the total honesty in the younger woman's tone.
"And? Does it live up to your expectations?"
The brunette teases, before accepting the Sheriff's aggressive kiss with an amused gasp, parting her legs further to allow space for the blonde between them once again. Emma accepts this invitation readily, running her hand roughly up the Mayor's thigh before finding her heat with a slick dip of her fingers.
"Look at me."
The darker woman demands, immediately missing the urgent brush of the blonde's lips, but finding her gaze intently as she drinks in messy gold and black leather.
"Why imagine it when you can watch?"
She challenges in the face of the younger woman's confused frown, letting out a choked sound when the blonde responds with a rough thrust of her fingers before she begins working with a little more finesse, adding a sly circle of her thumb now and again to earn a shudder.
Allowing her affection to become rougher and in line with the urgent noises the Mayor starts to make, Emma watches her intently, drinking in soft skin flushed with arousal and the subtle changes to the darker woman's expression as she loses some of her composure and closes her eyes.
"Look at me."
Emma mirrors Queen's demand, waiting for the brunette to obey her before picking up speed and sending her over the edge, relishing the way blown coals flicker over her face desperately as Regina bites down hard on her lip. Testing the darker woman's resolve, she offers no respite; keeping up the fast fucking of her fingers as she finds full lips parted in pleasure; following her down and leaning into her roughly as the brunette falls back onto the table, trembling legs pulling her in like a vice.
"Okay, stop!"
Regina cries hoarsely as she digs her nails into black leather. She wonders for a moment if Emma means to obey, aware that neither of them can be expected to pull back under current circumstances, and she begins to worry she'll soon pass out before the younger woman takes pity on her and stills the maddening torture of her fingers and pulls back.
"Well, dear... That was... That was new..."
The Mayor pants when she trusts herself to speak, pushing her hair out of her face as she remains lain out on the table with her eyes closed as she waits for the world to stop spinning.
"Sort of."
Emma points out with a sly chuckle, and Regina opens one eye to study her thoughtfully, before shaking her head.
"Everything about that was different."
"I guess it was."
"I don't think I can move..."
"I'm not complaining... And that brings us back to my original question."
"Which was what, dear?"
Regina frowns uneasily.
"Did you want a drink?"