Disclaimer I do not own The Fosters

Callie sat at her computer just staring at it. She had college credits which meant she could go to college even though that was never something she dreamed of. She realized she still thought of her life pre Foster Adam's clan even after being adopted and going through therapy but she wasn't the same girl that had given up hope for a future, because she had a future now and it was time she took control of it, it was time to rethink and regroup so Callie grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

What I want.

{1} To be happy...or close enough. Callie was still a realist, not even Robert was happy and he had money, but did that just mean depression ran in her family she wondered.

{2} To go to college. But for what Callie wondered.

{3} To start a family. That one made Callie pause, she wasn't quite ready for that, but it could wait and she knew whatever she chose Stef and Lena were in her corner.

{4} To find someone who loves me and I can love back (romantically ) Callie didn't know why she included that last part but didn't cross it out. She thought about Wyatt but he was a friend and while dating him had been fun, she didn't actually like him in that way.

{5} Get a good job. Well pilot was out and so was police officer as Lena would kill her. How would Lena kill her...oh Lena would replace her deodorant with beef lard and cocaine so that the drug sniffing dogs would do the work for her. Callie laughed at that idea, she had no idea why she thought of it but was glad she did.

{6} To have control. Well this was a form of control but not over her body, she decided to talk to Alice as she seemed like she had a controlled chaos thing going on.

{7} Be honest about how I feel with the people I care about. Stef and Lena put up with her as she tried to rebel, when she had ran away and when she told them the truth about Liam, they had stayed when Robert was reveled to be her father and even when she had been in a coma and no matter what they still wanted her to be honest about how she felt and to try and be a kid. Would reveling how she felt be the final...Callie stopped herself as she was getting pessimistic and about to fall into her old ways, no they wanted this and Callie needed it.

Callie put her pen down as she looked at her list and wondered if she should add more but didn't make the attempt yet. She knew a lot of these would take time but she could try to work on step 6 and 7 now. Callie picked up her phone and went through her contact list.

"Hello?" asked a voice.

"Brandon it's your sister" said Callie.

"Which one?, the shower hog, the bitchy one or the rich one?" asked Brandon joking.

"Are you counting Sophia?" asked Callie sarcastically.

"I realize now where I fucked up and won't say anymore" said Brandon joking.

Callie rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.

"Are you at Alice's place?" asked Callie.

"Yeah do I need to come home or something?" Brandon.

"No I just need to talk to Alice" said Callie.

"Um ok, let me go get her" said Brandon.

While Brandon went to find Alice, Callie doodled a bit until she heard Alice's voice.

"Hi Callie you there?" asked Alice.

"Yup" said Callie.

"So what do you need?" asked Alice who hadn't actually talked to Callie before and was wondering what she wanted.

"I want to know about your piercings, mostly how you felt when getting them and how you feel about them now" said Callie.

"Oh well let me start by saying this is not how I thought our first conversation would go but I'm glad it wasn't the other thing, when you say how I felt do you mean mentally or physically?" asked Alice

The next day.

Lena was up early making breakfast when the back door opened. She looked to see Callie as she closed the door.

"oh hi sweetie, how are you?" asked Lena.

"I'm good, is Stef awake?" asked Callie.

"She's in the shower but she has to hurry off to work, why what's up?" asked Lena.

"I need to talk to both of you, I can wait...no actually I can talk to you now" said Callie.

Lena was surprised by that sudden turn but she was eager to hear what Callie had to say.

"What do you need to talk about it?" asked Lena.

"Well I have decided that it was time for me to be honest about how I felt and I needed to share with you and Stef...because I love you" said Callie.

Lena smiled inward as Callie saying I love you was a rare thing. She wasn't sure what Callie needed to say but she was going to listen.

"I..I know this sounds like whining but I feel left out and alone now that I can't go upstairs with the rest of you, I don't like that you all knock on my door, I dislike sleeping in the garage" said Callie.

"We wanted to give you privacy, we did look into a chair but we couldn't afford it and Robert has already done so much that it didn't feel right asking for more" explained Lena.

"I want...I want things to be normal again" said Callie.

Lena wasn't sure how to respond but she knew whatever she said Callie wouldn't like it.

"Normal how?" asked Lena.

"I accept that it's easier to sleep out in the garage but I don't want everyone treating me like glass, Marianna and Jude never knocked before, Brandon did knock but he just walked in which is way I kinda thought he was like Liam back then but now he hesitates, you and Stef just stand at the door" said Callie.

"Callie things are different, you were ra...assaulted and left in a coma" said Lena.

Callie rolled her eyes.

"I know Lena, I was there, I know we talked about being afraid Liam would come back but after thinking about it, I realize it's not him, it's just the act happing again and that time leaving me dead, as for Liam, I was going to see him the next day to forgive him but instead I wake up a year later, I feel like what happened didn't happen to me but to someone else, and while thinking about what happened, all I feel is pity, resentment that another women would help with this, annoyance but most of all numb, and Liam I realized that I no longer fear him just pity him and I can still forgive him as weird as that sounds" said Callie.

Lena wasn't Callie to revel this all this and it left her speechless. She definitely couldn't process the fact that Callie had just said she could still forgive Liam.

"How?" asked Lena.

"How what?" asked Callie.

"After this...after all of this, how is it you can still forgive him" demanded Liam.

"At some point I realized I don't fear him anymore because he's afraid of me, he had to attack me at night with another person there, he use to threaten to hurt Jude to get me to comply, he's a powerless idiot whom I no longer fear because I pity him" said Callie.

Lena thought Callie might be showing a face of false bravado. There was no way this was normal, Lena wondered if the doctor had missed some brain trauma or something as Callie did mention feeling numb.

"Callie I think we need to take you in for a CT scan because you shouldn't feel this way, and we need to take you to see a therapist" said Lena panicking.

"Ok, can you talk to Stef later or should I?" asked Callie.

"Um let me figure out a way to talk to her, find a way to explain things so she doesn't fly off the handle, you know how your mother is" said Stef.

Stef had overheard but she wasn't mad just sad and confused. She had no idea how to fix this but she could start with something small. Stef headed upstairs to talk to the kids.