18+

LXIII

Edward strokes my hair softly and I sigh, kissing his bare chest.

The wind hisses against the window, a muffled shriek emerging from the pane every now and again, rain lashing down hard, filling the air with a dull roar.

'Can we…talk?' Edward says softly.

I swallow and lift my head up to his, meeting his green eyes.

My thoughts twist and turn but I hold my tongue, careful.

Careful about what words to use.

Because we've been in this exact scenario a lot of times the past few weeks, and I always say something to fuck it up.

'Yes.' I decide on.

Edward bites his bottom lip, tucking my hair behind my ear. 'My parents…haven't…I mean.' His eyes flash with pain. 'Do you think they're worried? My dad can't leave the house but my mom could, to see if I've been going to school.'

I reach up and trace his cheekbone lightly with my fingers. 'Do you want her to?'

Edward's eyebrows furrow slightly, 'I…of course I do. She's my mom and she…' he swallows, 'before the arrest she was different to this, now she's…drinking and…but she cares a lot, or she did…anyway. Maybe she doesn't care about me anymore.' His voice is hollow.

My heart aches in my chest as I look at him. I don't know what to say to that, I don't have the answers, and I don't want to give him hope if there isn't any.

'My dad doesn't care about me.' I offer, tracing his jaw. 'and I'm okay, so you will be too, whatever happens.'

Edward bites his lip and runs his thumb under my eye. 'Baby, you're not okay.'

I swallow, fighting down the urge to retort with something sharp. I'm not used to this. Not used to standing without blades in my hands, ready to cut apart anything that gets too close.

'Is anyone?' I murmur, 'Truly?'

Edward hums, his hand stroking down my back, 'I think Rose is okay, and Emmett.'

I almost smile, 'Rose…Rose's mom is the nicest woman on the planet, and her dad would die for her, but...when she was thirteen, her older sister Kate, killed herself. Her parents don't like to talk about it, they tell everyone that Kate was in an accident, so Rose has never really…come to terms with it. She was different before then, soft, sweet. But she was the one who found Kate, and ever since then…' I sigh, 'she rarely shows her true emotions because if she ever loosened up, if she ever let go of that control she grips onto for dear life, she'd crumble to pieces.'

Edward frowns at me, 'Oh. That's horrible.'

I nod, 'And Emmett… he grew up with nothing, they were completely broke, until his mom got a lucky break. You've seen her in those commercials on TV, with the toothpaste and the apple?'

'Fuck, that's Emmett's mom? Holy shit.' Edward gasps.

I nod, 'So now they have money, but…Emmett's brother, Ty, he doesn't know how to handle it, so he does stupid shit constantly, and then Emmett's dad gets angry and shouts at everyone, and his mom goes off on a bender to deal, he's got it rough sometimes too.'

Edward sighs, 'I'm sorry Bella, I don't…I didn't realise.'

I frown at him, 'Why would you? People are good at hiding who they are, good at hiding their problems too. Honestly, would you even care if you didn't know them? It'd just be a sob story among thousands of others, and yeah, things can be shitty for all of us sometimes, but that's why we're so close. Some bonds are forced on you, some bonds are chosen, that's what ours is, a chosen family.'

Edward's lips tug up and he laughs softly, 'The most I think you've ever spoken in one go, beautiful.' He teases playfully, his fingers skimming up my spine. 'You guys are all so close. I'm envious.' Edward's eyes flash with hurt, 'I don't really have anyone.'

I lean up and kiss him. You have me. The kiss says.

Because I can't bring myself to say the words, they mean too much, in this moment, in this spot, in the arms of the boy who loves me.

He pulls back from my lips, 'Ca-'

I pull him back to me, tangling my hand in his hair and he groans into my mouth, his hand suddenly gripping my ass.

That's enough talking.

Enough.