Review time!
Shadowguy015: We'll see who wins!
Joel Connell: Thanks! Heather would be the most likely candidate for a mid-S3 elimination due to how intimately she knows Alejandro's mind, and I've already implied in This is the Pits! that Alejandro's perfectly willing to throw her to the wolves if need be. Jake's going to regret ever messing with Emma.
Lara2244: Sugar's not going to make it to the merge, I'm not going to let her go unpunished THAT long. I personally don't like Undertale, so I'm not going to reference it in THD.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks! Easter eggs like that are ALWAYS good for some laughs. It's inevitable when you start with a cast of eighty-four people that you still have a lot of them left even this far into the story.
Knifez: Long stories tend to have complex plots, especially ones with big casts. Rigged votes are a favorite tactic of Sugar because she's not smart enough to actually win her team's challenges most of the time.
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
"Last time on Total Drama – we played with our food [Brick fighting the Kernel] Our previous episode also happened to be our fiftieth challenge, so we celebrated with an all-out food brawl! [Jacques getting attacked by the Grapes] Some did well [Alejandro defeating the Behemoth] and others...not so much. [Taylor getting beaten up by the Matango] The Mighty Meats won the game [Emma, Harold, and Noah defeating their respective opponents], but because the Delightful Dairy had no real contestants still around [Joseph and Sylvester having to fight] the Vile Vegetables [Josee getting defeated by the Curly Fry] were sent to elimination. While Sugar [Sugar getting defeated by the Mint with ease] seemed like a guaranteed out, it was Shawn [Shawn getting sent to the ground by the Beet-Boxer] who got eliminated instead. [Shawn's elimination]"
Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "Twenty-five contestants remain. Who'll be punched into victory and who'll be punched out of the game? Find out here on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the snow-covered bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, but this time Harold jumped clear of it, only to hit his head on a low-hanging branch.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the snowy island, passing Chris looking out at the world from the comfort of his room, Brick trying to learn how to channel another song, Sam playing one of his videogames, Lindsay making a snowman, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Shawn running away from a once-again awake Scuba Bear.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the few animals still awake during winter. DJ looked at a drawing of Dawn he'd made for an art class and sighed wistfully.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on the banks of the frozen lake in a snowball fight. Taylor ended up throwing her snowball at a tree, which dumped snow all over Heather, much to Taylor and Josee's delight.
*Instrumental*
Owen trudged across the ice covering the river, then slipped and faceplanted into the snowbanks. Geoff and Bridgette immediately rushed over to help him up.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Jo and Zoey climbed to the top of Bluegrass Hill, where Jo let out a roar that triggered an avalanche beneath them. Jo smiled sheepishly at a confused Zoey.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was making dinner, and Tyler, Sanders, MacArthur, Beardo, and Ella were eying his no-longer-deliberately-bad cooking hungrily.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sammy and Cody were making out, and with one of his hands facing backwards Cody accepted a high-five from Sierra.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Eva, Leshawna, Sky, and Jasmine worked out in the Drama Gym, although Sky was struggling with her weights.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Alejandro had lit the campfire and was standing behind it ominously. Devin and Carrie, unbeknownst to him, were watching, and Carrie raised an eyebrow at Devin as if to say "See? I told you he was evil."
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher chatted with Dakota, who was busy with intern work. Behind them, Scarlett was pushing around a snowblowing machine she'd recently invented.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and Jen appeared between them to show off some new designs. Though slightly miffed, Noah and Emma shrugged and struck up a conversation with her.
Team E-Scope
"Alright everybody, here's the deal," Noah said. His alliance had shrunk significantly thanks to Alejandro's actions, to the point that now only Emma, Brick, and Zoey remained of his once-mighty team. "Emma and I have recently determined that Sugar was what allowed Alejandro to eliminate most of our friends by finding the idols and making him promise not to vote for her anymore in exchange for them. The reason is quite simple: Sugar wants to get to the merge, and she thought that getting on Al's good side was the ticket to it."
The Scheming Cynic sighed. "As much as I hate Sugar, we're going to need her vote if we're going to get rid of Alejandro for good. So we're going to need to convince Sugar that Alejandro won't uphold his end of the bargain. I think that should be relatively easy; have you noticed how cocky he's getting lately?"
"Yeah, I have," Zoey nodded.
"It's strange," Brick frowned. "No one else did that when they played their idols."
"That's because Alejandro's the only person who's played multiple," Emma explained. "He thinks that they stack, that's why he took Sugar up on her offer in the first place. He wants to get to the merge too, so he thought he'd be protected from more than ten eliminations if he played more than one idol."
"But they don't really stack," Brick protested.
"They don't," Noah confirmed. "But Alejandro forgot about that, and therefore he thinks that he's safe for the rest of the game. That'll be our advantage: his arrogance will cost him the people who could protect him otherwise. Would protect him otherwise."
"So, we need to talk to Sugar and get her to form a truce with us, for the time being at least," Emma finished. "We'll see how the teams are decided and work from there."
Some time later
"Alright campers!" Chris announced. "You're probably mentally exhausted from fighting in the last challenge, aren't you?"
"Yeah," Sam agreed, breathing heavily. "Somehow that knock to my kidneys translated over to the real world." He stood up and winced as his back cracked loudly. "Ohhhh..."
"Well, I don't think you're physically exhausted yet! Come with me to the Drama Gym!"
"This is gonna suck," Cody groaned.
Drama Gym
"Hey, it's February, you guys gotta keep warm," Chris shrugged. "And what better way than with today's challenge? Like yesterday's trials, today's game will be a fighting challenge whose victor will be determined by which team won the most matches. If you lose all of them, your team is automatically out; if you win all of them, your team automatically wins. Since we have twenty-five people left, each team will be the same size."
"Good," Jen said. "I'm still frazzled from my math midterm."
"That was two weeks ago," Scarlett remarked.
"It was a long test. Seventy. Short-answer. QUESTIONS."
"I know, like, why does Mr. Lewis like giving us incredibly long tests?" Harold complained. "Gosh!"
"The same reason I like giving long challenges!" Chris laughed.
Confessional – Jen.
"Sadism. It had to be sadism."
"Anyway, we're going to have five teams of five chumps each. When I call your name, come and change into these boxing outfits." The outfits consisted of color-coded tank tops, shorts, shoes, and gloves. "Scarlett, Ennui, Josee, Leshawna, and Sam, you are the Destroyers! Your color is coral pink.
"Justin, Emma, Noah, Miles, and Jo, you are the Eliminators! Your color is light blue.
"Jasmine, Brick, Cody, Taylor, and Jen, you are the Fighters! Your color is dark purple.
"Zoey, Alejandro, Sky, Jacques and Crimson, you are the Groundshakers! Your color is orange.
"And everybody else, you are the Hitters! Your color is copper brown."
"Such an unusual palette," Ennui droned. "May I ask what our challenge will be?"
"But of course! Remember our phobia challenge? Well, I took that, and the virtual food challenge from last time, and made this! You're going to fight someone from your past who helped shape who you are. Winning is measured by the same conditions as last time."
"Who goes first?" Brick asked.
"I decided to mix things up a bit. We're going to start in the middle of the alphabet! So, Leshawna, Justin, Jasmine, and Jacques, you're going first!"
Confessional – Miles and Scarlett.
"I don't get it," Miles said. "Why didn't Chris just use reverse alphabetical order?"
"Because the audience would have expected that," Scarlett snarked.
"Ah,"
Destroyers: Scarlett, Ennui, Josee, Leshawna, and Sam.
Eliminators: Justin, Emma, Noah, Miles, and Jo.
Fighters: Jasmine, Brick, Cody, Taylor, and Jen.
Groundshakers: Zoey, Alejandro, Sky, Jacques, and Crimson.
Hitters: DJ, Geoff, Harold, Sugar, and Heather.
Leshawna, Justin, Jasmine, Jacques, and Harold stood in their uniforms, watching as the interns finished setting up a white wrestling ring with dark blue ropes. "Alright, kiddies, we're doing it! Leshawna, you're up first."
"This girl's been a constant presence in your life since your childhood, the sister you never had. Leshawna, you'll be fighting...Leshaniqua!" The senior appeared in the ring, clad in a dark yellow version of the wrestling uniform.
"Hey there, cuz!" Leshaniqua grinned. "How about we wressle?"
Leshawna cackled. "Just like when we were kids." The two women had at it, and were pretty evenly matched as they swung against each other. However, thanks to her longer time on the island, Leshawna had gotten stronger than her elder, and eventually won. "No hard feelings?"
"None at all, girl!" Leshaniqua replied as she got back up. "You've grown a lot, I'm proud a' ya. On, and Shawnie? You don't gotta feel guilty about not votin' for Heather. Somethin' tells me she's gonna get hers quite soon."
Leshawna sighed in relief. "Thanks, I needed to hear that."
"This girl was once the love of your life...until she burned out. Justin, you'll be fighting...Lauren!" Lauren timidly got onstage, clad in a dull pink version of the wrestling uniform.
"We all know how this is going to end," Lauren whimpered. She was much skinnier than her ex, so it was obvious she was at a disadvantage.
"We do," Justin agreed as he faced her. Predictably, he sent her to the ground with only a few hits. "It's nice to see you again, at least. I know the Empty Soldier challenge was recent, but...it's still nice knowing that you're safe."
"It is."
"This guy inspired your love of the outdoors. Jasmine, you'll be fighting...Joe Irving!" An Australian man resembling Steve Irwin entered the ring, clad in a green version of the wrestling uniform.
"Mr. Irving! I'm such a fan," Jasmine gushed.
"And I'm fan of yours too, Ms. Thomas," Joe replied. "You're one of the darkest horses of the ensemble in this show! Well now, me ol' cobber, are we gonna have a blue?"
"You're gonna get the blue, and the black too," Jasmine grinned. They fought in the most Australian way imaginable, with Jasmine winning due to her height advantage.
Confessional – Jasmine.
Jasmine grinned as she showed off the autograph she'd gotten as a reward. "'Fair dinkum, I haven't had that much fun since Season Five of Rapt Reckonings! Yours truly, Joe Irving.'" She squealed in delight.
Confessional – Emma.
"Wow, I...never thought I'd see the day when Jasmine of all people turned out to be a fangirl."
"This woman is a constant source of annoyance for you. Jacques, you're fighting...Grandma Leblanc!" An ancient old lady tottled onto the stage, clad in a light blue-green version of the wrestling uniform.
"Boy, you really ought to know your place!" the old woman snapped. "Why, in my day a man your age wouldn't be gallivanting around in that sparkly whatsit you're wearing. And furthermore–"
Jacques simply pushed her over. It wasn't hard, considering he was twice her size and a fifth her age. "And you expect me to care about what happened in 1951?" he glowered. "I have no need for your critiques inutiles in my life. Get. OUT!" His grandmother hastily clambered up and hobbled out of the ring, clearly terrified.
"Wow, someone has issues," Heather quipped from the sidelines.
"Both of our families do," Josee shrugged. "Why do you think we want to win so much? Because then our elders will HAVE to respect us."
Confessional – Noah.
"That excuses nothing they've done, but it certainly explains it. Freud would have a field day with this stuff, especially considering that no one intelligent considers Freud's weirdness as valid anymore."
"This guy's been many a thorn in your side. Harold, you're fighting...Duncan!" Duncan, clad in a maroon version of the wrestling uniform, came onstage.
"Don't be too sure of yourself," Duncan taunted, slamming his glove-covered fists together. "I might not be in the game anymore, but you're still goin' down, Doris!"
Harold glared at him as he took off his glasses. "Hold these, please," he said to Cody. "I don't want them to get broken."
"Harold, no! You know your vision isn't–" SLAM! "...good enough to see people more than two feet in front of you without your glasses."
Current scores:
Destroyers: 1/1
Eliminators: 1/1
Fighters: 1/1
Groundshakers: 1/1
Hitters: 0/1
Sam, Miles, Jen, Sky, and Heather got ready. "Alright, barring Harold's little slip-up, everyone got a point last round! Sam, you're up first."
"This woman has been getting into your good graces from the day she changed her role. Sam, you're fighting...Dakota!" Dakota got onstage and gulped.
"Why am I fighting you?" Sam questioned. But Dakota looked scared, and it didn't take long for Sam to figure out why. "Oh. Is it because...we're friends?" he asked himself quietly.
Dakota whimpered as Chris glared sadistically at her. "Time's a-wasting, Dakota. Fight him!"
Sam realized what was going on, and he knew what he had to do, so when Dakota bopped him in the jaw, he faked pain. "Ooh! Man, I didn't know you were that strong!" he mock complained as he let her shove him to the ground.
"Sam, you TWIT!" Scarlett exclaimed, her hair coming loose. "YOU BOTCHED THE BLOODY CHALLENGE!"
"You IDIOT!" Josee shrieked.
"This girl's been a big part of your life since eighth grade. Miles, you're fighting...Laurie!"
"Hello, dearest!" Laurie called to her girlfriend. "Shall we dance?"
"We shall indeed," Miles replied. They proceeded to fight, but it...wasn't quite what Chris was expecting. They didn't land a single blow on each other, simply dancing and twisting. Eventually, Laurie tired out, allowing Miles to push her over.
"What was that?!" Chris exclaimed.
"Well, I don't want to actually hurt her," Miles explained, "and the feeling is mutual. So we just...wore each other out."
"I bet you have a lot of experience with wearing each other out," Duncan grinned from the sidelines. Laurie responded by removing one of her gloves and throwing it at him. "Ha! Missed me!" Her other glove didn't. "Ow!"
"He's been your best friend for quite some time. Jen, you're fighting...Tom!"
"Hi Jen!" Tom chirped. "You ready?"
"Ha!" Jen cackled. "I was born ready."
They proceeded to fight, but Tom, being quite a bit taller than his half-sister, quickly got the upper hand and sent her to the floor. "No hard feelings?" Tom asked meekly.
"I'm gonna get back at you when I eventually go home," Jen groaned, raising her left arm weakly. "Somehow."
"This guy used to be on your good side, but I don't think he is now. Sky, you're fighting...Keith!"
A tall, muscular boy of European descent with short black hair thundered into the arena. "Well," Keith said, frowning at Sky. "Ditched me for a little neat freak, did ya?"
"You ditched ME for a girl with a heart smaller than that of The Wicked Witch of the West's FIRST," Sky sniped back. They proceeded to fight, but because of Sky's smaller size and higher agility she quickly outmaneuvered Keith and pinned him to the ground. "Chris, if you were going to have me face someone from my past, why not my sister? She is my role model, after all."
"I tried, but apparently Rain was busy getting 'higher education' to come see her little sister," Chris said, making air quotes.
Confessional – Rain Vallieres.
"Hey, I'm going to Columbia University, I don't have the time to drop everything on such short notice," a young woman who resembled a long-haired version of Sky explained crankily in a college dorm room. "The plane ride here would've been at least twice as long as the six-hour-notice he gave me!"
"This girl is pretty much your very own nemesis. Heather, you'll be fighting...Gwen!"
Gwen grinned at Heather. "Miss me?"
"Of course I didn't!" Heather snapped. "Fight me, Gothy!"
"With pleasure."
It wasn't a very long fight.
Current scores:
Destroyers: 1/2
Eliminators: 2/2
Fighters: 1/2
Groundshakers: 2/2
Hitters: 0/2
"Eliminators and Groundshakers, you both get a point!" Chris said cheerfully. "Hitters, you'd better start stepping up your game or else you're going to elimination." He turned to face the camera. "Who else is going to blast in from the past? Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
Scarlett, Noah, Taylor, Zoey, and Sugar prepared themselves as Chris turned to face the camera. "And we're back!" he announced to the audience cheerfully. "So far the Eliminators and Groundshakers are two for two, while the Hitters haven't even won one of their fights! Now let's finish gearing up for Round Three!"
"This guy was your main guinea pig before you met Max. Scarlett, you're fighting...Rowan!" A thirteen-year-old boy who looked like a smaller version of Scarlett, only black-haired, got onstage.
"Ah, hello there little brother," Scarlett said. "Care to fight?"
Rowan growled. "We'll see. I'm gonna make sure you go down, Scarlett. Then Mom and Dad will FINALLY stop ignoring me!" With renewed viciousness, he fought his sister.
"A man after my own heart," Chris grinned dangerously.
"Chris, NO," Gwen said sternly.
"Oh shut up, Gwen, you're not even a contestant anymore!"
"And yet I have the bigger fanbase." In the background, Rowan finally sent Scarlett to the floor.
"These guys won't hold back for the baby. Noah, you're fighting...ALL EIGHT OF YOUR OLDER SIBLINGS AT THE SAME TIME!"
"Yep, it's official, you hate me," Noah snarked as his siblings entered the ring.
First was Samir, Noah's eldest sibling, who at twice his own age he had the least contact with. Next came the eldest of Noah's sisters, Abhishek "Abi", currently thirty-two, followed by a twenty-eight-year-old pair of identical twin girls, Shanthi and Radha, only told apart by the burn scar on Shanthi's right brow. Fifth in line was twenty-five-year-old Naveen, and rounding out the octet was a set of twenty-one-year-old triplets: brothers Darshan and Vishal and sister Chandana.
"Sheesh, how old is your mom?" Duncan asked Noah from the sidelines.
"Sixty-three last I knew," Noah grimaced. "I have a hunch that being born so close to menopause is half the reason why I'm so small."
"Yeah, I mean, on one side you've got you, and on the other side you've got...eight different kinds of that!" Jo exclaimed, making weird gestures with her hands as she pointed to Noah and then his siblings.
"Well now, little one," Vishal grinned. "Let's see how much you've grown, shall we?"
"Bring it, meathead," Noah sighed. "Just do it already."
Noah's siblings moved as one, trying desperately to catch him and pin him to the ground. But there were two things working against them: one, there were eight of them in the same confined space, and two, Noah was half their size and therefore able to squeeze through gaps that they couldn't. After about ten minutes worth of fighting, Noah eventually took his place at the top of a tangled pile of older siblings.
"Man," Abi grunted, Noah's weight on her back not being particularly comfortable. "I don't remember you being able to do that."
"What the hey, I've been on this junk heap of an island since September. Of course I'd gotten somewhat better endurance."
"This woman is also one of our Aftermath hosts. Taylor, you're fighting...Kelly!"
"You're one of WHAT?!" Taylor shrieked. She was so surprised that she didn't even bother trying to fight her mother.
"That was...underwhelming," Chris said.
"Are you okay, sweetie?" a concerned Kelly asked her nonplussed daughter.
Confessional – Taylor.
"Of course I'm not okay!" Taylor snapped. "My mom is so EMBARRASSING! And she's on TV, which means I'LL be getting embarrassed!"
Confessional – Leshaniqua.
"Wow. What a baby."
"This guy caused a lot of trouble back in the day, but it's because of you that he got better. Zoey, you're fighting...Mike!"
"Hi Zoey," Mike said. He looked a lot more relaxed now that Mal was gone.
"Hey Mike! It's so good to see you again. How are things back home?"
"I'll just get Svetlana out in a sec, and then we can catch up after the fight," Mike replied. He swung his own glove-covered at his face, but gasped halfway through.
Svetlana caught the punch with her other hand. "I am back and ready for the action!" she grinned. "Come on, Red Girl, we're waiting!"
Zoey grinned back. "Bring it on."
Of course, Zoey ended up losing, but it was a pretty fun fight all things considered.
"This guy once made an army of robots...by covering donkeys with tinfoil. Wow, Americans really are something else, aren't they? Sugar, you're fighting...your uncle Elliot!"
A brown-haired middle-aged man with a thick mustache and burn scars on his arms cracked his back. "Dad gum it, Sugar! How many times I gotta teach ya to play fair?"
"Fair is for [pu word]ehs!" Sugar retorted. "And yer not the boss a' me anyways!"
Elliot glared at his niece. "Come over here and take your whuppin' like a lady!"
After Sugar's fight, the battered teenager growled. "What does he know?"
"More than you in certain areas, apparently," Noah said.
"What do you know, twerp?"
"I know how you helped Alejandro kick my friends off the island," the Scheming Cynic growled. Sugar gasped. "No, he didn't tell me, I figured it out on my own. And I gotta ask you, Sugar: why did you make him promise not to vote for you?"
"Because I wanna win this here pageant, and no one's gonna stop meh! Not LEAST that stupid priss Ella!"
"Ella. A priss. Where have you been the last five years? Kentucky?" Noah rolled his eyes. "And what makes you so sure that Al will keep his word?"
Sugar hadn't expected him to say that. "What d'ya mean, thinsticks?"
"One of the people Alejandro got rid of was his own alliancemate, Devin. We think that he might have helped vote off Beth to make sure that one of his alliancemates, Brady, wouldn't have any contact with us, and we think there's a good chance that he'd happily vote off Heather, his own girlfriend, just to ensure that he won't lose to her post-merge. Think, Sugar; the evidence is in front of you. With a history like that, how confident are you that Alejandro won't vote for you?"
Sugar, for once, was speechless.
Current scores:
Destroyers: 1/3
Eliminators: 3/3
Fighters: 1/3
Groundshakers: 2/3
Hitters: 0/3
Ennui, Emma, Brick, Alejandro, and DJ approached the arena. "Hitters still don't have a single point, Destroyers and Fighters are falling behind, and the Eliminators are in the lead!" Chris announced.
"This girl is a big part of your life. Ditto this guy. Ennui, you're fighting...Crimson! Crimson, you're fighting...Ennui!"
"What a cruel twist," Ennui said monotonously as his girlfriend entered the other side of the ring.
"I suppose you think this is funny," Crimson told Chris.
"Hey, you're on different teams, AND you're a couple. I figured I could save some time by having both of your fights in the same round. Begin!"
Ennui was tall and lanky, and was more heavily-muscled than his shorter girlfriend. But Crimson was the faster of the two, and as she was the one more prone to emotion suffice to say she was also the more physically aggressive of the pair as well. She eventually sent her boyfriend to the floor.
"Crimson, you win! You'll get the point...next round! Ennui, you don't!" Chris announced.
"Joy," Ennui sighed emotionlessly.
"I do still love you," Crimson offered.
"Thank you, I do as well."
"This guy is the reason why you're a Misfit. Emma, you're fighting...Jake!"
Jake slithered into the ring. "I despise you, Emma, I hope you know that," Jake growled. "Your little confession cost me my entire reputation. And for what, so some tiny little twerp can get into your good graces?"
"It wasn't because of that at all," Emma shot back, readying her fists. "I wasn't happy until Noah told me that there are better people out there than you. Frankly, I think you're just mad because you're still single and I'M not." Jake snarled, suggesting that she was right.
"Kick his butt, Emma!" Noah bellowed from the audience.
"Oh, I intend to." Despite her height disadvantage, Emma had grown stronger and faster than Jake had, and her fury for having been used by him made up the rest of the difference. She dodged every punch of her ex's and landed quite a few heavy hits into his gut. Jake lasted about two minutes before Emma sent him to the ground. "Now, never cross ME or any other girl AGAIN!"
Confessional – Noah.
"I am totally in love with that woman," Noah sighed wistfully.
"This man was your old leader back at military school. Brick, you're fighting...General Ripper!"
"Is that actually his name?" Gwen asked.
"Yes, it is, lady!" barked the elderly-looking man who now stood opposite Brick. "Well now, soldier, it's good to see you again! Let's see how much you remember!"
"Quite a lot, I think," Brick replied. They fought, but Brick, being younger, was able to outlast his old mentor. "It was good to see you again, sir."
"It was good to be pummeled into the ground by you, cadet!"
"Military people are wackos," Geoff whispered to Tom.
"Gee, what told you?"
"This bad boy is always setting a benchmark that you just can't reach. Alejandro, you're fighting...José!"
A boy who looked like a slightly older version of Alejandro, but with grayer hair and gray eyes, chuckled as he saw Alejandro enter. "Well well well, little brother," José grinned. "I'm finally on your show, ready to make the world marvel at how much better I am than you."
"You will eat those words when I win the ten million in May!" Alejandro paused. "Or June. I am not sure how the calendar will work that far out."
"Regardless, little Al, don't you think it's time to give up?" They began to fight, never striking each other in the face once. However, Alejandro eventually sent his brother to the ground.
"I do not," Alejandro shot back. "Not now, not ever. I will show the world how much better I am than them all! Especially YOU."
Confessional – José.
José sighed. "But is it worth all the sorrow you have caused, ¿hermanito?"
"This lady's both a source of fear and inspiration for you. DJ, you're fighting...yo mama!" Chris laughed. "HA!"
"Shut up, ya eediat!" DJ's mother Erica, a short, stout woman with graying black hair, sniped back. Chris gulped and cowered behind Chef. "Son, are ya sure ya wanna win dis?"
DJ gulped. "I don't wanna fight you, Momma, but I gotta get my team a point or one of my friends is going home!"
"Tough decisions, alright! Show me what you can do, pickney!"
DJ mustered his courage and fought his mother. Although evenly matched, DJ had the advantage of being seventeen, and his mother was eventually too tired to keep going. She sprawled on the floor, panting heavily. "DJ wins!" Chris announced.
"Oh, and Devon?" Erica said when she could finally stand again.
"Yeah?"
"I met your ooman a few months back. Likkle an cute ding she be. Dawn's a good girl, don't mess it up wid her."
"Oh, thank you Momma!" The Brickhouse with Heart wrapped his mother in a bone-crushing hug.
Current scores:
Destroyers: 1/4
Eliminators: 4/4
Fighters: 2/4
Groundshakers: 3/4
Hitters: 1/4
Josee, Jo, Cody, Crimson, and Geoff stood as Chris tallied the results. "All right! Destroyers still only have one point, but the Hitters are finally above zero! Eliminators still in the lead, Fighters and Groundshakers still neck-in-neck! Who's going to win today's challenge? Will we have a tie?" He gasped. "If we tie, maybe I can do a two-team elimination!"
"Chris, remember your contract," Laurie said sternly.
"Or not," Chris sighed.
Confessional – Jo.
"Contract? What's that about?" Jo muttered.
"This lady taught you to hate bronze, and you did a great job of remembering that lesson. Josee, you're fighting...your mother!" A small woman resembling Josee but wrinklier got into the arena.
"Ha!" Josee grinned. "This shall be a trifle!"
"Don't be so cocky, fille," her mother replied loftily. "I still have many tricks that I have not taught you."
"Please."
Unfortunately for Josee, her mother was right. "Such a disgrace," her mother tsked. "Such a pitiful disgrace."
"This guy once made you a climbing wall playpen, setting you on a path for toughness. Jo, you're fighting...your dad!"
Jo smirked as a man who had a similar face, but darker hair and eyes, entered the arena. "Ready to be defeated, old man?" she taunted.
"Ha!" her father scoffed. "I'll be defeated when I'm old."
Within three minutes, Jo had her father on the floor. "I guess you're old," she laughed.
"I'll be, you're right."
"This guy is the only member of your band to have been eliminated thus far. Cody, you're fighting...Trent!"
"Hey Cody," Trent said. "Sammy says hi. I say...let's do this and get it over with already."
"Tell her I said hi back, and think fast!" Cody managed to catch Trent offguard and punched him in the face, sending him to the ground in an instant. "Trent! Ohmygod, I'm sorry!"
"Cody wins!" Chris announced almost immediately.
"Don't worry...you still aren't strong enough to really hurt me," Trent said, rubbing his sore nose.
"This girl will wrap up our final fight worth points. Geoff, you're fighting...Bridgette!"
"H-hi, sweetie," Bridgette said nervously as she fumbled with her gloves. "Man, I can never figure out how to tie these thiIINGS!" She was so focused on tying her gloves that she slipped and fell.
Geoff approached his girlfriend and held her down with his hand. "Okay, I think that's enough time," he said. "It's good to see you, babe."
"You too. And Geoff? You're not failing anyone. Just keep doing what you're doing and everything will be alright."
Geoff sighed in relief. "Thanks for tellin' me, Bridge. I needed someone to really close my like, last doubts."
"Well doubt no more. Also, wasn't Crimson supposed to have a fight?"
"My fight was against Ennui, and I won it, so I'm being granted the point automatically," Crimson explained.
"And to take the place of Crimson's fight, I'll be fighting...Chef!" Chris, now decked out in a red version of the wrestling uniform, exclaimed as he entered the arena. Geoff and Bridgette left it, allowing Chef, wearing a royal blue uniform, to take their place. "Begin!"
With a single punch, Chef sent Chris flying out of the ring and into a nearby mat. "Chris, that was not one o' yo' better ideas," Chef chuckled.
Confessional – Harold.
"That assumes Chris HAS better ideas."
Current scores:
Destroyers: 1/5
Eliminators: 5/5
Fighters: 3/5
Groundshakers: 4/5
Hitters: 2/5
Chris groaned. "Ugh...I think I hurt my fabulous face..."
"Actually, I think the concussion could be an improvement," Gwen snarked.
"Okay, okay, back to school with you." Gwen shrugged and walked away. "Anyway, the Eliminators have won with all five points possible!" The Eliminators cheered. "Groundshakers with four, Fighters with three, and Hitters with two, you're all safe!" The three teams addressed nodded thoughtfully. "Destroyers, the only people you destroyed was yourselves. Meet me at the campfire at eight, Destroyers, it's time to vote someone out!"
Discreetly, Sam passed an irate-looking Scarlett a note.
Confessional – Scarlett.
"I have reason to suspect that Sam threw the challenge for some reason or another," Scarlett, having calmed down somewhat, said as she wrote SAM on a piece of paper. "Perhaps he's grown tired of Chris' ugly face. I know I am, but that's no reason to throw a challenge."
Confessional – Ennui.
"Josee's mental state will only get worse now that her mother, the source of said state, has driven it in even further." He wrote JOSEE on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Josee.
"That great fat idiot must leave NOW!" She wrote SAM on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Leshawna.
"Yeeeah, Josee should go." She wrote JOSEE on a piece of paper.
"Here's how we do eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." There were only five marshmallows, and two were colored. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got because hey, you can't fight drama. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Scarlett, Ennui, and Leshawna."
"Wow, our team is small," Leshawna remarked as she got her marshmallow.
"Blue means you received only one vote against you. Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. Yet again, neither are present today." Two marshmallows remained. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, and red means you're done. Josee. Sam."
Sam gulped and tugged at his sweater's collar.
"Josee, you're a repeat offender. Sam, this is your first offense, but it's a big one! With one vote more...
...
...
...
...
"Sam is gone!"
Confessional – Cody and Harold.
Cody sighed. "My alliance is going, and going fast," he sighed.
"I know, buddy," Harold said. "But we're gonna keep fighting, because we're Drama Bros, and we never stop fighting for what's right! YEAH!"
Cody smiled. "You sure know how to make me happy, Harold. Thanks."
"No problem, dude!" They fist-bumped.
"How touching. I almost blinked that time." Chris stood in the arena. "Sixty down. Twenty-four remain. Who'll fight their way to victory and who'll get suckered into getting punched out? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Suddenly, something went down his shirt. "AAAAAAAH!" He ran away.
The camera panned right to reveal Phil carrying a bucket of ice. "Mess with one intern, you mess with ALL INTERNS!" he said angrily.
"Thanks, Phil, that's quality entertainment right there," Dakota chuckled as Chris continued flailing about before running into a wall.
"Anytime, D. Anytime."
Votes:
Scarlett – Sam
Ennui – Josee
Josee – Sam
Leshawna – Josee
Sam – self
Results: 3-2 Sam-Josee
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey, Jazz (r), Max, Mary, Junior, Zeke (t), Beth, Brody, Scott, Lauren, Brady, Lorenzo, Katie, Trent, Kitty (t), Gwen, Dave (ii), Courtney, Tom, Dawn (t), Izzy (r), Jay, Lightning, Stephanie, Cameron (nj), Ryan, B, Mike (q), Duncan, Amy, Topher, Sadie, Laurie, [Owen, Carrie, Sammy, Tyler, Lindsay, Devin, Eva, MacArthur, Ella, and Beardo] (ii), Bridgette, Sanders, Sierra, Shawn (r), Sam
Future eliminations immunized against: Alejandro (4)
Bonus clip:
Scarlett read Sam's note once again. "Brilliant, absolutely brilliant of him."
Scarlett, I need you to vote for me. Josee's probably going to vote for me anyway, and I'm going to vote myself off. I need to tell you why I'm going, and for that I need to tell you why I let Dakota win the fight.
Dakota's been convincing the other interns to help her reveal what Chris is really doing behind the scenes to the audience. Remember the Gwuncan kiss? Apparently Chris was the one who broke the lock to the confessional stall that let that happen in the first place. Stuff like that. Thing is, Chris...he knows. At least, he suspects that the interns are doing stuff, and Dakota was the first intern who used to be a contestant. He wanted me to hurt her, to put her in her place...
I couldn't do that. I'm not going to bully someone just to protect me from another. I don't know if he's going to go after Phil next, but you should be on your guard. I need to get out of here before he starts using my friendship with Dakota to keep hurting the interns.
Besides, I need to go home anyway. Part of that pain in my jaw was genuine; I think my wisdom teeth are coming in.
Sincerely,
Your buddy
Sam