Everything Old is New Again

by ChapstickLez

Sequel to OWtO: Youthful ambition meets experience when Gail and Holly face the next great challenge. Their daughter, the cop. The Old Guard is still there to help the new batch of rookies through the trials, tribulations, and triumphs of police work, but there are some things a rookie has to learn on their own. (Updated regularly)

70. 07-01 74 Epiphanies

Epilogue 1 - 74 Epiphanies

I did write this. I didn't expect anyone to want to read it. Just .. Don't read this if all you want is that happy, wrapped up, ending. Because the only thing that happens after 'And they all lived happily ever' is 'until they didn't.'

See? You don't want to read this chapter or the rest. The epilogue is told in five parts, starting with Jamie. Yes, you finally get back inside her head for the next set of years of their life.

There IS a happy ending. It's just not the one you probably wanted.

---

The first time Vivian said it, Jamie was certain Vivian thought she was asleep. It was on Vivian's birthday, wrapped under a down blanket in front of the fireplace up at the cottage. Vivian's voice had barely been a whisper, a ghost of a sound across Jamie's bare skin. She'd said it back as Vivian had fallen asleep in the bed later.

The second time was at the Penny. The coppers had solved some case or another and, between one shot of tequila and the next, Vivian leaned in and kissed Jamie's cheek, saying the words in a normal tone. Jamie had almost not heard it, with the raucous sounds of the bar around them. It took a moment, but when she realized what had been said, Jamie had blushed and grinned like an idiot.

The third time had been the briefest in passing moment, Vivian hustling out on a call. She'd said she loved Jamie, kissed her cheek, and rushed out. Christian, sipping his coffee at the counter had laughed at Jamie and punched her shoulder.

After that Jamie had started to lose count. There were casual mentions in texts and normal kisses and promises and remarks. It became a part of their life. Vivian said the words, but she also had actions like reminding Jamie about appointments, picking up Jamie's favourite ice cream, and the like.

To Jamie's surprise, the first time Vivian said it in front of her own parents, Holly started crying. Even Gail had looked stunned. The reaction of the mothers had not seemed weird to Vivian, who had sighed and moved on. That was when Jamie thought of all the conversations they'd had before, and how Vivian rarely said those words to anyone. Even her mothers.

When Tyson had rolled around, it changed again. Suddenly Vivian said the words a lot. Especially to Tyson. She told him in the morning and evening, when playing with him and when feeding him. And that translated to Jamie hearing it more often. On their now rarer lazy mornings, Vivian would kiss her awake and tell her those three wonderful words. At night, as they cuddled on the couch or in bed, Vivian would press her nose into James hair and tell her.

"I love you."

---

Babies who were sick were miserable.

People who were not prepared to be parents and who had to comfort a sick baby were equally miserable.

And Jamie felt woefully unprepared for the life of motherhood. Even though she'd wanted it, even though adoption had been her idea, it was overwhelming. Babies were incredibly time consuming. They had no comprehension of the hour, other than their little biological clocks.

But Tyson was generally a well behaved baby. He slept through the night, he ate his bottle, he loved being read to, and oh god, he slept through the fucking night.

Except right now, Tyson was crying. He was wailing, unable to nap or sleep, and nothing Jamie could do was helping. So far she'd tried a bath, steam, feeding (which he was very much not interested in), changing him, swaddling him, and that weird trick Gail did folding his arms and rocking him.

Absolutely nothing worked.

It was the first week Vivian had been back to full time work, having taken half days and desk duty for her parental leave. But the cop was needed, more than a fireman at the moment, and Vivian had sorted out a schedule to let her be home more while still filling in where she was needed most.

Which was not home. Jamie sighed and tried to cradle Ty against her chest, but the boy wasn't having it. He howled. Any minute their asshole neighbour was going to come over and complain. Why couldn't they have the nice neighbour who wanted to help the poor lesbians Mom their son? No, they got the homophobic dick who bought the place from a quiet little old lady.

Their neighbour had been upset when Jamie asked him to turn down his music at night so the kid could sleep. Vivian went over next, not in her uniform, and informed him that the condo bylaws were clear on the volume permitted after nine PM. The asshole was still an asshole, and would play his music loud enough to wake Tyson, and then he had the gall to complain about the baby crying.

Jamie wanted to pop him one. Vivian was using lawyers. She had to be the grown up.

That was possibly the most annoying part of it all. Vivian, who hadn't wanted the kid in the first place, was a better parent. And yes, it pissed Jamie off. She wanted to be a mom, a good mom, the kind of mom she'd always wanted. And instead she was making a mess of it.

"Come on, Ty. Momma loves you." She cooed to her son, trying like hell to project an aura of calm.

She finally got Ty down to frustrated cries and sniffles when there was a knock at the door and he burst into wails again. God damn it.

Jamie hefted the squalling boy to her shoulder and opened the door to see her angry asshole neighbour. "Can I help you?"

He scowled. "That kid has been screaming for hours."

"I am well aware," replied Jamie, gritting her teeth. "He's sick."

"We'll take him to a fucking doctor!"

Jamie stood to her full height, looking down at the man who towered over her. She set her jaw. "Do not. Yell. At my son."

"Or what? You'll call the fucking cops on me again?"

"That's my wife, you idiot," she said, as calm as possible. But she was seeing red. Killing someone in front of a baby would be bad, right? He'd probably remember it. "Look, we took him to the doctor, he's got medicine, but he's a baby. He's upset and he feels like crap and he's crying."

The neighbour snarled. "I can't work with the racket."

"Funny, I feel that way about your music. You try headphones?"

"That's rich, coming from a stay at home mom—"

"Actually she's a rapid entry specialist and a firefighter first class," said a familiar voice, cooly.

Jamie looked up at her dusty wife as if she was a vengeful Valkyrie descended from Valhalla. "Viv..."

"Hey." The cop kissed her wife's forehead. "Sir, I'm sorry our son's illness is inconveniencing you. You're welcome to file a complaint with the board. Again. But that didn't work out so hot for you last time."

The neighbour's nostrils flared. "Bitch."

"Try a new one," said Vivian, calmly. She shifted her weight forward and looked startlingly menacing. "I get that you hate kids, but you're living in a condo, not a house. So unless you've got a cure for the common cold, shut up and get the hell out of my family's face before I have you arrested for harassment."

Without waiting for an answer, Vivian gently nudged Jamie inside and closed the door behind them.

"I hate him," whinged Jamie, her voice cracking.

Vivian eyed her. "Honey, you look at the end of your rope."

It was frustrating, and Jamie felt like she was about to cry. Which wasn't fair to anyone, least of all Tyson who was just sick and miserable. All she could do was nod.

"Okay. Lemme get out of this shit and hand me Ty when I'm in the shower, okay?"

"Viv, you're exhausted."

"Yeah, but I gotta shower, and the little guy needs one too." She leaned in to kiss first Jamie's forehead and then the squalling Tyson's, before going into the master bedroom.

Jamie sighed. She leaned on the wall until she heard the shower running and then carried the screaming child in. "Are you sure?" She asked as she wrangled their unhappy son out of his button up and diaper.

"Yeah, I am." Vivian smiled, her hair already being rinsed of soap. "Come here, sickie." She slid the door open and reached out for the boy.

Too tired really to process, Jamie just sat on the toilet as her wife showered. "His fever went down," she explained, closing her eyes.

"I can tell. He's just all stuffed up." Vivian sighed. "I know it sucks little guy."

Tyson wailed his frustration.

It was giving Jamie a headache. The baby was screaming, the neighbour was an ass, she needed more sleep and some food. She pressed her fingers into her eyes, wishing that things were quieter, that everyone was quieter, and then.

And then…

She opened her eyes and looked at the shower. Tyson was still snuffling, but the screams had stopped. And Vivian was gargling.

"What did you do?"

"You don't wanna know," said Vivian, spitting and then carefully washing Tyson's face.

"Viv…"

Her wife made a face. "Okay. But I warned you." She cleared her throat. "I sucked the snot out of his nose."

Jamie blinked. "With… what?" When Vivian looked rueful, Jamie flinched. "Oh my god. Seriously? Your mouth?"

"Yeah, Aunt Rachel told me about that trick. Works, but man, that's gross!" Vivian made a face again, sticking her tongue out. "Steam and suction. Isn't that right, Ty?"

The boy snuffled again but seemed much more content. Still miserable, though.

"I owe her … something. A cake."

Vivian laughed and carefully washed Tyson's hair. "Hopefully that's all he needs. Just some steam cleaning. I do not want to do that again. Huh?" She shifted the boy around so he got rinsed off.

Tyson fussed again, but Jamie recognized that sound. He wanted to sleep.

"Can I take him?"

"Yeah, wrap him up?"

Jamie got a fluffy towel and took the boy, swaddling him up and finding he was much more at ease. A few little huffs and he started to fall asleep. "I can't believe that worked…"

Scrubbing herself again, Vivian laughed. "Jamie, kids are easy. They want to eat, sleep, be comforted, and that's kinda it."

"Yeah but … you knew what to do."

"That was luck." Vivian shut the water off and grabbed a towel. As she dried off, she peered at the boy. "I wish I could sleep like that."

"Don't we all?" Jamie carefully tucked him to her shoulder. "I'm going to get him dressed and in bed. You?"

"Starving like you don't know. We had to practice scaling buildings all day. From the outside."

Jamie winced. "Did you have to do it in full kit? Lemme get Ty down and figure out dinner."

"I ordered Thai on my way upstairs. I know we need to save money, but I am too fucking tired, Jamie." Vivian rubbed her hair dry. "Come on, let's get the little guy in bed."

Instead of in bed, they ended up trading holding him, to keep his head elevated and the snot out of his poor nose, and ate dinner watching idiot people on television. Vivian dozed off, one arm around Jamie's shoulder and the other holding Tyson close to her chest.

It was a quiet slice of heaven.

---

Jamie squinted at the mountain of snow outside the window. "I'm starting to think that your birthday is bad luck."

"No arguments from me."

They were supposed to be going up to the cabin with Gail and Holly for a birthday celebration, but frankly Jamie suspected they'd spend it alone, in their apartment. Which really was fine by her, but Vivian asked for so little from anyone, Jamie always felt obligated to at least make a serious effort.

"We're not making it up to the cabin, are we?"

"Nope. Already told Moms."

There was a small squeal of joy and Jamie looked over to see her wife tickling their son's stomach and getting delighted baby giggles in reply. The boy rolled over and clambered to unsteady feet before wobbling away, only to look back and make absolutely sure Vivian was following. She, being a damn Amazon, caught up quickly, tickled him, and he again erupted in gleeful baby guffaws.

Jamie took her phone off the counter and video'd it, sending a clip to Gail and Holly before Vivian could stop her. She still hated having photos or videos of herself online, but her mothers could be trusted. More or less. Mostly Holly would keep Gail in check.

"I think your momma thinks I didn't see that," Vivian said seriously to the toddler. Tyson giggled again and held his arms up.

For whatever reason, he'd yet to form actual words. Jamie, who had absolutely no experience with babies at all, had worried. So had Holly. Gail had not, and everyone took their cue from her. She was quite certain that Tyson would spout out a sentence one day, very soon, and scare the bejesus out of everyone.

"You're adorable together," admitted Jamie.

"He's got me wrapped around his finger." Vivian kissed Tyson's fingers, but then came over for a more proper kiss for Jamie. "I'm fine, by the way. We can celebrate my birthday another day."

"Hmm. I never believe you when you say that."

Her wife shrugged and settled Tyson on her hip, where he started to lean towards Jamie and made a noise that sounded like an M. Hard to say. "I think rocket boy wants you, though."

"Hey, little dude," she told her son, and happily took over carrying duties. "I think for your Mom's birthday, you should try sleeping in your own room." Jamie glanced at Vivian as she said it, and was pleased to see a look of surprise.

"Is that why Jason was over." She took a half step towards Christian's old room and pointed.

"Go look."

With a broad smile, like a child, Vivian loped over and hooted the second she opened the door. "Check it out, Ty-Fighter, you've got your own room for real!"

In the hectic months since Tyson had entered their life, they'd used Christian's room for storage. First all the gear they didn't want a baby to be around, and then baby gear. But when Vivian had been called in to work, Jamie roped her father into doing one small thing. It was small, but it was well organized. And it meant they had their bedroom back to just them.

Tyson made a noise and leaned towards Vivian, so Jamie walked them over. "Oooooooh," said the boy. Which was about as much as they tended to get out of him.

"Yours," said Vivian, tapping his chest.

Clearly understanding, Tyson's face lit up and he squirmed until Jamie put him down, and he struggled to his feet, literally toddling over to look at his bed. Jamie had moved the crib in when Vivian was showering, and felt like a damn genius. They'd cleaned and painted the room, top to bottom, rebuilt the shelves as something more functional for a baby, put in a dedicated changing table, and hung Tyson's favourite mobile. Rockets.

It was a gift from Holly.

"You like?"

"Best birthday present," said Vivian sincerely, and she wrapped her arms around Jamie, pulling her in to kiss. "I love it."

Those moments were delightful. Sometimes Jamie was sure she was getting everything wrong, and screwing it all up. But then her wife or their son would smile and Jamie knew. She knew it was right.

"Ick," said Tyson from the other side of the room.

Vivian stopped kissing and turned to look, her face clearly baffled. "Ick? Seriously? Your moms kissing is ick?"

Tyson nodded, very clear on the matter.

"I think they call that comeuppance," said Jamie, trying not to laugh. She'd had all the stories from Gail about how Vivian thought kissing was gross.

"Screw you, wife," said Vivian, and she laughed. "Ty, cover your eyes. I'm kissing your mom again."

Hours later, Jamie listened to the quiet apartment. She could still hear the snow outside, the occasional car, and for the first time in a while, no one else in the bedroom except herself and her wife.

"Happy birthday," she told Vivian, quietly enough not to wake her up.

"It's pretty good," drawled Vivian. "This part's my favourite."

"Better than Gail's cooking?"

"Well. Don't get a swelled head."

Jamie laughed and poked Vivian's bare side. "You're impossible."

"Yeah but you knew what you were getting into with me." Vivian rolled over and smiled. "It's a good birthday. First one as a mom."

"That's still weird," admitted Jamie.

Laughing, Vivian pointed out, "Hey, it was your idea." She kissed Jamie softly. "And I don't regret a second."

"Not even when you had to suction snot out of his nose?"

Vivian made a face. "Maybe not that moment. But in general. Diaper runs and all, it's kinda awesome." Then she added. "If you were my Moms, this would be where you make a joke about being pregnant, by the way."

"Maybe we should tell your Moms we're pregnant. Scare the shit out of them."

They both cackled. "I like your devious mind," said Vivian, and she kissed Jamie again.

It was, in all, a very nice birthday.

---

The world was silent, except for the wind whipping around and rattling the windows.

Jamie opened one eye and looked at the woman on the other side of the bed. As usual, Vivian was curled up around a pillow, her bare legs sticking out of the sheets. It didn't matter that it was freezing, Vivian could not sleep with her feet covered, unless they were camping. The bareness was for other reasons. They'd both fallen asleep fairly quickly after a shower and sex.

Speaking of freezing, it was so cold, Jamie could see her breath. Not good.

"Hey, Viv?"

The last thing she wanted to do was wake up her wife, but Jamie had no idea how to fix the heat or power at the cottage.

"Sleeping," mumbled Vivian, and she hunkered.

"Vivian. Power's out."

"Sleep. Fix it later."

Jamie sighed. "Sweetheart, it's cold."

There was a pause Jamie was familiar with. Vivian's waking up pause, the one that happened in that brief period of time where her brain was processing but her body was unwilling. "Power's out. Heat's out."

Privately, Jamie was glad that Gail and Holly had Tyson for the weekend. A baby-free weekend was totally what the doctor ordered for both of them. It had been one of the exceptionally rare joint cases, where Constable Second Class Peck and Firefighter First Class Peck worked together. Hours and days and weeks of investigation (with Jamie seriously considering moving into the fire inspection services when she got too old for running into buildings), they'd determined a fire in a gay nightclub was intentional arson.

It had been rather brutal and cutting to both of them, more than many other of their teammates. For obvious reasons. As usual, Vivian had clammed up and gotten grim about everything, but not talkative. It wasn't until they'd been driving up to the cottage that she'd talked about how she felt. But that was Vivian. She processed internally first, and for as long as it took, and then she talked. Even if she didn't have an answer, she would, eventually, talk about how she felt.

Before the drive, though, Holly had informed them that they needed a break. She'd shown up at the apartment, told them she was kidnapping Tyson for four days, and they were taking a damned vacation. Alone.

That was all it had taken to spur Vivian into action. She'd packed them up and gotten them out of the house in an hour, fuck the world. By the time they'd arrived at the cottage and had some food, they'd talked through why both of them were taking the case hard.

It was all the obvious reasons, but that still irked Jamie a little that it took so much to get Vivian to unpack what was in her head. She knew Viv cared, but the woman still kept everything quiet inside until it was sorted out.

"God I hope it's just something easy," said Vivian as she quickly pulled on clothes. "You may want to get dressed."

"Should I make a fire?"

Vivian hesitated. "Yeah."

They silently got bundled up and Jamie went to the porch to collect wood for the fire, while Vivian tromped through the snow and went to the side of the house. Making a fire was easy enough, and Jamie had the living room toasty before the sound of the refrigerator turning on scared the hell out of her.

Oh good. Power.

"Fuck it's cold." Vivian shucked off her outer layer and hustled to stand by the fire. "We're on backup power. There's a giant branch on the roof, which probably knocked loose the solars. Or something. I'm not gonna look until it stops snowing."

"Good idea. I'll turn off the heat."

"Did that. We're on fires and nothing else until the storm ends." Vivian shuddered once and then went to the phone. It must have had a dial tone because she looked relieved and spun the rotary dial. "Hi, this is Vivian Peck— yes. At the lake. We lost power— No, off the grid. I just want to know what the estimate for the storm is... Okay. Thank you— No, we're fine."

The conversation went like that for a little while longer, including a bit where Vivian complained that she didn't want a visit until the storm was over and for god's sake, was Kate around? Jamie busied herself making tea, figuring Vivian was still chilled through.

When she heard the phone click back into the cradle, Jamie spoke up. "I'd ask if you want a shower, but..."

"Yeah, I'm afraid to turn that on," admitted Vivian. "It's not that cold out. Just wet and nasty." She made a face and came into the kitchen area. "So hey. Vacation! Yaaaay." Somehow Vivian managed to sound entirely morose.

Jamie cracked up. "Could be worse. Imagine if Ty was here?"

Her wife chuckled at that. "He'd want Holly to tell him how come the storm happened."

And Jamie smiled. "He's going to be a nerd, you know."

"Oh yeah," agreed Vivian. She picked up a cup of tea, sipped it, and then proceeded to doctor it the same way Gail always did.

Jamie smiled, watching her wife mimic the things her mothers did. She lingered on the counter, leaning and brooding, just like Holly when mired in a problem. But she drank her tea and scowled like Gail. Vivian moved very much like Gail, in a way that was reflected from both Gail and Elaine. Even a little Steve, not that Jamie would mention it.

But she did love how her wife was so much like the people who'd raised her. Vivian filled a room like a Peck. A quiet one, to be sure, but a Peck. She was deep and thoughtful, kind and caring, and sadly still a little up in her head.

"Hey," said Jamie softly. "Come back to earth."

Vivian blinked and then blushed. "Sorry. I was..."

"Up in your head." Jamie leaned across the counter and cupped Vivian's cheek in one hand. "We did everything we could."

"I know." Vivian's eyes closed and she turned her face to push against Jamie's hand.

"We aren't the thought police."

Vivian made a noise. "Babe, you're not the police at all."

Good. A joke. She was back. "What did Elaine say?"

"Don't be a detective," grumbled Vivian. She opened her eyes, kissed Jamie's palm, and drank more tea. "She said I take death too personally. Still. And it'll be the death of me as a cop."

"Dramatic much?"

"Eh, it's the cancer."

That was the other thing. Elaine had been diagnosed with cancer. The prognosis was that Elaine had, maybe, five years. It was hard to come to terms with, for the Pecks, that Elaine would be gone soon. Gail was currently ignoring it, which Holly said wasn't healthy, but also didn't really try to argue.

But, as Vivian pointed out, Gail had never lost a parent. Oh, she'd lost her father, but Bill Peck was gone long before he died. He'd removed himself from the family and his inevitable death, young though it was, came without despair or agony. It was the end, and almost a relief according to all.

Elaine though... Jamie had heard from the woman herself how she'd nearly destroyed everything. She'd almost irrecoverably ruined her relationships with her children for a career. Only by sacrificing everything she'd earned, husband included, was she able to regain the only legacy worth having. Her family.

It was a horrible story. Jamie had been aghast that Elaine had been actually evil. The whole mess with the spiked immigration to the US too, that could have backfired. The what-ifs were astounded, because somehow it had all worked and Gail and Holly had found themselves and each other and Vivian and there, among them, was Elaine.

And now Elaine was dying.

"I didn't realize you lot could be more morbid," teased Jamie.

Mirable. Vivian grinned. "Elaine's got a gift. She's a total drama queen."

"Hey, you're smiling for real."

Vivian flushed a little. "Thanks." She put her tea down. "Sorry about being all ... me."

"I married you, goon. I love you."

The smile changed. Vivian looked like that goofy, awkward woman who had insisted she wasn't interesting. She was sweet and a little shy and had no idea how amazing or fascinating she was. Vivian was everything Jamie had fallen for, beauty and brains, a caring heart, and a driving passion to be something greater than herself. She put herself second.

But behind all that, Vivian was still that sweet, shy woman who was an absolute fail at flirting. And Jamie loved that too. Especially when Vivian heard those words and looked amazed and bashful that she was loved.

"Yeah?" Vivian looked down at the mug in her hands. Then she quietly added, "I love you too."

"I know," said Jamie.

---

In a word, her day sucked.

It had started with Vivian getting a call for roll out at three, which woke up Ty, who cried and complained when his mom had to leave before breakfast. He was in a mood. Jamie was in a mood. And then she made the mistake of turning on the news to find out ETF had done a raid on a drug lord, who had an IED in his damned house, and there had been one police fatality.

Her wife worked ETF. Her wife was the lead bomb specialist for Toronto. If anyone had been hurt by an IED, it would be Vivian. An angry kid didn't help Jamie's jangled nerves at all, especially when the phone rang and it was Gail telling Jamie someone was coming to pick her up to take her to the hospital, but Vivian was fine.

That did not translate to fine in the slightest. Holly being the pickup didn't help at all.

"She has a concussion," announced Holly as soon as Jamie opened the door. "Seven stitches, because it actually broke her helmet, and she's going to have to stay for observation, but she's fine. Loopy as hell, but fine."

And that did help. A little. "I should... " Jamie hesitated. She should go. But she shouldn't bring Tyson.

"Oh I'm not your ride, honey. I'm your babysitter." Holly smiled and walked over to Tyson, who immediately stopped complaining and babbled at her delightedly about his book. "Lara's downstairs to take you to the hospital."

Jamie felt her heart stop. Hospital. And Holly was here, to take care of Tyson. If it was Elaine, Holly would be with Gail. That meant it was work related. That meant it was Vivian. "Holly..."

"Jamie, she's fine. I talked to her on the phone. Go." Holly already had Ty on her hip. "Yes, Ty, just a second. Christian, honey."

The tall man sighed and appeared out of nowhere. "Jamie, come on."

"Why are you here?" She frowned at her once roommate.

"I'm Holly's ride. Till Gail gets here. She's waiting on you."

Oh. Jamie swallowed thickly and grabbed her purse. "Lara. Downstairs."

The ride to the hospital was a blur. Lara tried to be calming, but there was something about her mood that made Jamie feel tense. It didn't get any better when she got into the hospital and saw a handful of Vivian's ETF cronies, sitting around. They were filthy and bloody and some were bandaged.

Whatever had really happened, it had been really bad.

"Hey, Jamie!" Sabrina Saun, the sergeant, jumped to her feet. Her face was still a mess, covered in dirt and grease. "Nurse, this is Peck's wife!"

The nurse looked skeptical but a familiar, calming voice soothed the room. "Jesus, Saun. You guys need to switch to decaf. Come on, Jamie." Gail was clean. She looked like she always looked: like she'd walked out of movie.

Jamie swallowed again and followed her mother in law. "Why are they all waiting?"

"Well. That's a fun story. I promise she's okay." Gail sighed and opened the door to a private room with a curtain around a bed. Rich Hanford was sitting inside, in his uniform, looking as serious as Lara had been in the car. "Abercrombie, you can wait outside."

"Yes, ma'am."

That startled Jamie more than anything else. Rich didn't give sass. He always sassed. He sassed Gail, mildly, most of the time, usually undercut with panic or fear. This was something else. Jamie hesitated and then said one word. "Gail..."

But Gail waited for Rich to close the door. "Hey, Viv. You fall asleep again?" Gail was starting to look her age. Or it was the harsh lights in the hospital. But she looked old all of the sudden. She sounded old. There was no answer, so Gail pulled the curtain by the bed back.

Vivian looked like hell.

The left side of her face was swollen and discoloured. There was a row of stitches on Vivian's forehead, curving down towards her right eye, as if she'd taken a direct hit of something in the gap between goggles and helmet. The rest of her looked okay, though her hand was bandaged and her left shoulder was wrapped in an ice pack.

She was also sound asleep with her mouth open. Snoring. If it wasn't for the bruising, she'd look like she was just sleeping normally.

Jamie gently ran a hand through Vivian's hair. Damn it, how did she always need a haircut? "Who was the fatality?"

"Ivan."

One of Vivian's friends. God. Jamie swallowed and felt rather queasy. "She's okay?" Jamie couldn't speak above a whisper.

"She was awake a bit ago. Had a monster headache." Gail sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her daughter. "So here's the thing. You've heard about how there's a whole secret Peck power behind the throne?"

Jamie blinked. "Yeah, Viv and Shay joke about it sometimes." Everyone joked about it, actually. How the Pecks used to be powerful and then they'd vanished around the time Gail got her mother fired. And that was a story Jamie hadn't gotten to the bottom of yet. And then Vivian had the whole scheme about how she was a mastermind, but that was just a made up story.

"It's not a joke," Gail said quietly. "And it's not gone. It's just ... We're more subtle these days."

She stared at her mother-in-law. Was Gail trying to tell her Vivian was part of a giant conspiracy? "What ... what does that have to do with this?"

"Well. There's a thing about being a Peck." Gail looked at her hands for a moment. "There are things we talk about. Things we know. And you don't have to know them. They're big and terrifying sometimes, but most importantly they're secrets. So if you want to know the truth, I'll tell you everything. But if I do, then you have to swear to keep this as the family and never tell anyone outside of us."

Jamie felt a literal chill down her spine. Because Gail wasn't joking in the slightest. She was dead-ass serious about how there was a big thing behind what had happened to Vivian. "What if I say no?"

"Then." Gail stopped. "Then I tell you what I told them. The bomb was bad luck. It happens. She'll have a scar and a monster headache."

"Does she already know?"

"Mostly. I'll tell her the rest when she wakes up."

"Does ... God, I was going to ask if Fifteen knew, but you'd never tell Rich."

Gail smiled a little. "Someone's targeting cops. That's why they're all still here."

Jamie swallowed. She looked down at her wife, a frown creasing Vivian's face. "How old was she?"

"When we told her? Ten." But Gail looked morose as she said it. "I was missing undercover. They thought I might be dead."

Since she was ten, Vivian had been in on the secrets of whatever the hell went on with the Pecks. God. "Jesus, Gail. She was ten! You just... you took whatever chance she had at a childhood!"

Her mother-in-law nodded, solemn and sad. "I know, Jamie. God, I know." And Gail sure as hell sounded upset too. "I don't want to even mention this shit to you. I was hoping it'd die out, but it's not and I have to think about this." Gail shook her head. "Honest to god, Vivian would rather you not know."

And Jamie swallowed again. "What about Ty?"

"That's... that's you and her. I won't do that unless you want me to."

Damn it. "I hate you right now, Gail." And the blonde nodded, understanding. "How old were you?"

"Younger," sighed Gail. "Young enough I really don't remember not being in on this shit."

Jamie closed her eyes. "Tell me." Because there was no choice here. No valid choice. She had to know. Because there was something big and dangerous and she'd started to piece it together. Someone wasn't just targeting cops. They were targeting her weird, goofy, awkward goon of a wife.

And Gail told her.

Vivian had been working a side case on her own, not even with Gail, keeping an eye on a fellow targeting cops. Because apparently that fake secret system Vivian had spun up years ago wasn't fake at all, and she'd been running the behind the scenes Peck powers. Not Gail. Vivian. Yeah. That made ... that made it worse.

The guy had twigged to Traci being on to them and set up a bomb at Steve and Traci's condo. Vivian had taken the bomb out, but not cleanly, and yes, it had ended badly. Ivan took the shrapnel to the jugular and bled out in Vivian's arms, while the woman had tried to talk down the killer.

Because of course he was there.

"The radio was pretty intense," admitted Gail. "She talked him out of shooting her, though, or stalled him enough that he bolted when Saun and the rest went in. It was a mess. He took pot shots at some of the others as he left."

"He's still on the loose?"

"And he knows Vivian's face. And that the Pecks are after him, so Christian and Abercrombie are guarding you guys until we have him."

Jamie felt weak at the knees. "Ty..."

"Is with Holly, who is perfectly safe," Gail's voice was calm and comforting. "We have UC ops all over your place, but if you'd rather come to our house... either way."

"I ..." She trailed off and sat down on the chair beside Vivian. She didn't know the answer. She didn't even know the right way to go. What was right? What was safer?

And then the choice was made for her. "Jesus, Mom, you talk a lot," croaked Vivian, sounding exhausted. "We'll come over. It'll make Mom stress less."

"Hey, kid," said Gail, laughing a little. She squeezed Vivian's foot through the blanket.

"Shush." Vivian was looking at only Jamie. "Sorry."

"You look like shit," Jamie replied, feeling incredibly stupid.

"Feel like it." Vivian reached out and caught Jamie's hand. "Sorry about the mess."

Jamie brushed Vivian's hair out of her face. "You said that, baby." She wanted to be pissed at her wife so much, but... Vivian looked so pitiful and sorry. "How much did you hear?"

"Uh. I woke up around the part where you told Mom you hated her. Which totally valid." Vivian tried to sit up, failed, and gestured at the side of the bed. "Can ... up?"

It was heartening to hear her drugged up wife. Jamie sighed and pressed the button to raise the bed. "You so much as wince, I'm pressing the drug button."

"Hah," laughed Gail. "She owns your ass, Junior."

Vivian flipped her mother off and looked relieved as the bed raised itself. "I got the evidence," she said, once the bed stopped moving, but closed her eyes. "Fuck. That made me dizzy... I think I'll be here tonight."

As Jamie reached for the call button, Gail shook her head. "You need anything, Viv?"

"Nah." Vivian breathed in through her nose. "Sabrina's got the evidence tagged." And she rattled off a series of numbers. Gail didn't even take notes, she just nodded. Eventually Vivian finished dumping case details, which included explaining how she got 'made' as a Peck. "I made sure my name tag was covered too, but Ivan..." She paused. "He's dead, isn't he?"

Gail squeezed Vivian's foot. "I'm sorry, kiddo. He didn't make it."

"He was in front of me," said Vivian softly. "Damn. Did someone talk to Dora?"

When Gail looked blank, Jamie explained. "Dora is his girlfriend. I think. They were fighting."

"They're always fighting," said Vivian, wearily. "But she really was into him. And he ... he wrote a love letter to her on his vest."

"I'll take care of it. If Sabrina hasn't." Gail nodded. "We'll keep Ty tonight? Or do you want him...?" She eyed Jamie thoughtfully, as if Gail wasn't quite sure which way to go.

"Jamie, go stay with Moms okay? I'm just gonna sleep."

Jamie sighed. "No. I'm staying here with you, goon, okay?" She looked up at Gail. "Thank you."

Gail nodded. "Anything you two need. Okay?"

"Yeah, love you too, Mom." Vivian's voice was already fading.

Mouthing a thank you, Jamie stayed where she was as Gail left them alone. "Okay, asswipe. How are you really feeling?"

"Major headache. 8 or 9."

"You know your mom wants to know that." Jamie picked up the drug release button and tapped it once.

Vivian made a noise of disagreement. "She'll feel guilty. Not her fault."

"That's her job, Viv."

Her wife opened her eyes. "This was mine, Jamie. Not hers." Then she exhaled deeply again. "Ugh, that stuff is heavy."

Jamie smiled. "It's supposed to knock you out, baby."

"I'm just gonna sleep, then." Vivian gripped Jamie's hand. "You're here. I should... be awake. Cause I scared you."

"A lot of things scare me, Viv. We're moms."

The cop smiled wearily. "Yeah. Scares me most."

Brushing Vivian's hair back again, Jamie ran her fingers over the angry, red stitches. "Did you do your best?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then. I trust you."

Vivian gave her a suspicious look, but drifted off much against her will, slipping into sleep like a struggling child.

And Jamie sighed, holding Vivian's hand, wondering about the world she'd just walked into.

---

Jamie eyed Holly suspiciously. "Gail said what?"

"She said Vivian's at the hospital with Christian and they're fine, totally uninjured, but we need to be there."

"I may kill her," Jamie said seriously.

"I'll hold her down." Holly sighed. "You want to call her?"

With a sigh, Jamie pulled her phone out of her jacket. There was a text from Vivian, asking Jamie not to kill her over Maisie. And somehow Jamie knew it wasn't a cheating kind of situation. "Who is Maisie?"

Holly startled. "Wow. That's a ... Uh. She's an addict. And a prostitute. Her mother was in and out of the system for years, and I think Andy and Traci knew her."

Jamie tapped in a reply, asking why she'd need protection, and frowned. "Are they always bad about communication?"

"Mostly when they're on shift." Holly shook her head. "Gail's usually good about not screwing up lunch though."

As Holly had explained it, she'd gone to lunch with Elaine for years, just the two of them. They'd talk about all sorts of things, sports and television and books and news. Just talk. Of course, considering the storied relationship between Gail and her mother, and Holly, it made sense they needed that sort of bonding.

After Jamie and Vivian had married, Holly and Elaine showed up regularly to take her out to lunch and chat. The three women who'd married into the Pecks. Of course, now that Elaine was in hospice and dying of cancer, it was just Holly and Jamie most days. Still, Holly made sure Jamie didn't get swept up in the Peck insanity, or their bizarre machinations.

"I think we ... I should probably go figure out what fresh hell Viv's dropped me in today."

Holly nodded. "We. Gail thinks I should go." And she flagged down a waiter. "Check please. Jamie, did you drive?"

"Uh, no."

"Excellent. Makes it much easier. We can use my privileges."

"That's cheating."

"That's Peck," said Holly with a smile. "You should get used to it."

When they arrived at the hospital, Christian was talking to Gail and looking very apologetic. And wet. "I swear it was an accident."

But Gail was grinning. "C, it's fine. But you get how you're in this for life now?"

"God, I am, aren't I?" He shook his head and glanced over. "Hey! It's the plus ones!"

Gail looked over and a pure, raw, smile split her face. All this time, and Jamie had never once seen Gail fail to look happy when seeing Holly. That was love. "Four Alarm Peck, you better go in there." She jerked her chin at the semi-private room. "Don't worry, Viv's fine. There was flooding and they had to rescue... Well. You'll see."

That did not fill her with comfort. Jamie frowned and opened the door. Vivian was muddy to her knees, a fairly common occurrence. Her grey shirt was spotless, though, which was odd. She stood in front of an empty bed that was less clean. There was blood and some other unsavoury fluids on that bed, along with a wristband and a gown.

And an empty bassinet.

"Aw hell," muttered Jamie.

Vivian startled and turned. In her arms was the baby, being fed from a bottle. "She ran off," said Vivian, softly.

"What?!" Jamie felt her eyes widen.

"Maisie."

That was when it became a name Jamie remembered. Maisie was a recidivist problem child, daughter of someone's informant, and considered the responsibility of Fifteen. Also Vivian had mentioned Maisie bit someone once. But it was also a name that filled Jamie with dread. "Maisie?"

"She ... The building flooded, that water main, and they sent us because they thought it was a bomb."

"Viv..." Jamie walked up and looked at the tiny, undersized, child in her wife's arms. "You saved Maisie and she ran off?"

Nodding, Vivian adjusted the bottle again. The infant was having trouble for some reason. "We, me and C, delivered him."

Oh. That was it then. Jamie pinched her nose. So Maisie had given birth and that was the child. Jesus. "Legally..."

"She ... Um. Signed a revocation." Vivian shifted her hold and pulled out a crumpled paper. Papers.

Jamie read them slowly. One was a revocation of parental rights. The other was consent for guardianship, written to Vivian. "Let me guess. Gail's trying to get the lawyers sorted out?"

"Prep work," Vivian said softly. "Depending on... Well. You."

"You want to adopt an addict's baby?"

Vivian looked a little helpless. "Yes?"

"Jesus..." She sighed and looked at the baby. Boy. "What's his name?"

"Doesn't have one. She pulled a bunk before that. Wrote I should name him what I wanted on his wrist band."

Jamie picked up the wrist band and read it. "He's tiny, Viv..."

"They don't think he'll live," she said. Vivian's voice nearly cracked. "They said he's got all the indications of ... Failure to thrive."

And her wife, her big hearted, abandoned at six, wife wanted to bring the child home. "Can he even leave the hospital?"

"Tomorrow. If he eats."

Which was why Vivian was feeding him. "You named him in your head, didn't you?"

Guilty, Vivian nodded. "Lane Oliver."

Well shit. "That's a low blow, Peck." Because Elaine was still dying of cancer, maybe three months at most. And because Oliver had scared everyone with a car crash the year before. He was fine, but he'd jokingly complained that no one named their babies after him anymore.

"I know it's asking a lot."

"No. No. Give him here." Jamie held out her hands. After a moment of hesitation, Vivian carefully handed over the baby.

A pair of blue, angry, eyes looked up at her. There was an odd tenacity in the infant's face that reminded Jamie of Gail. He was clinging on to things. And right away, Jamie saw why the doctors had doubts. He didn't track the bottle well. He fussed. He squirmed. She snugged him in the swaddling more and carefully guided his face to the bottle. A couple sucks and he lost it again.

"How long have you been working on the bottle?"

"Couple hours."

Yeah. That was going to be a problem. "We're insane. You know that, right?"

"We?"

She looked at Vivian. Muddy, smiling, concerned, doubtful, hopeful Vivian. And she noticed there, in that smile, that there were two things. First, yes, Vivian was seriously wanting Jamie to be okay with this. But also, in there, was the look Jamie had just seen outside. The look Gail had given Holly. The look that told her Vivian did adore her.

Even if the word 'love' was still hesitantly spoken by the tall woman, even if she had trouble expressing what she felt, she did truly love Jamie in her own way.

"Yeah. We."

---

The crying woke her up.

It was expected, Lane being a drug baby, that he would be colicky and miserable for a while. After three months, the boy had not mastered sleeping through the night, and even though he was just in the bassinet on Vivian's side of the bed, it felt like a million miles away. All Jamie wanted was to sleep some more.

"I got it," said her wife with a sigh, and then she pushed herself up.

Since they'd brought Lane home, Vivian had been the go-to mom for most things. Just like Jamie had been for Ty, Vivian was for Lane. Late night feedings, rearranging schedules, doctors appointments (which Lane had more of than the average baby), Vivian did it all without a single complaint. And while doing all of that, Vivian kept her schedule, made sure not to ignore Ty, and still had some time for Jamie.

For the first time, it sounded like a monumental effort for Vivian to get up.

"Viv, go back to sleep." The words were out of Jamie's mouth before she could really think, but as she said them, she knew their truth. Vivian was overworking herself. And it was stupid. They were parents together.

"He's not going to sleep—"

"I know, he needs to eat and move. You sleep, I've got this."

In the half dark of the loft, which really was getting too small for them, Vivian looked skeptical. "Jamie..."

"You just worked a double and I know the only reason you have tomorrow off is because Sabrina thought you were going to fall asleep at parade and ordered you to take maternity leave."

Vivian sighed. "Are you sure?"

Oh yes, she was beat. Jamie got out of bed, scooped Lane out of his bassinet, and nodded. "Come on, Lane, kiss Momma goodnight."

The boy snuffled unhappily and squirmed, but his wails stopped once he was in her arms. Vivian reached up to brush his cheek. "Don't be a turd, little guy."

"Stop calling our son a turd." Jamie kissed Vivian's forehead and then pushed her wife until the woman lay back down.

"Thank you," said Vivian, her voice a mumbled whisper. She was snoring before Jamie was out the door.

Jamie sighed and carried the fussing Lane out to the living room. Tyson's room, formerly Christian's, was on the other side, so the boy was probably still asleep. At four, he was already a bookworm. Jamie had no doubt in her mind that he was curled up with a science book aimed to young children that were still older than he was. A gift from Holly who absolutely doted on him. Ty had his scientist grandmother wrapped around his finger.

On the other hand, Lane was clearly going to be a Peck. The doctors said he probably wouldn't live, so they shouldn't bond with him too much. Three days later, adoption papers in hand, Vivian carried the miserable, undersized, drug addicted infant into Elaine's hospice, and introduced the Peck matron to Lane Oliver Peck. Elaine had smiled more than she had since long before the cancer ate into her bones.

The photo of Lane in Elaine's arms happened while Elaine told Jamie all about Gail's birth. First the previous pregnancy, Gail Santana's death, the miscarriage, and then the premature birth of a tiny baby girl Peck whom everyone said would die, and whom Elaine defiantly named Gail. Elaine, who could barely feed herself, found the strength to rock Lane to sleep. She swore the same, stubborn, will to live was on the tiny boy's face as she'd seen on her daughter.

And she died before the week was over.

It still felt weird to know that Elaine was gone forever. Jamie hadn't really ever lost family, not like that. It had shattered Gail, who had been nearly inconsolable. Not even Holly had really been able to get Gail up and moving. But Vivian had. She'd brought the boys over, dumped a depressed and mourning Gail out of bed (literally, Jamie heard the thump and curses), and demanded she teach Ty how to play Mario Kart.

Why that worked, Jamie did not understand. Once Gail was in front of the boys, she started to become the woman Jamie knew. Funny, morbid, a little self centred, and amazingly caring. With Lane in his front pack on Vivian, and Ty in Holly's lap, Gail proceeded to teach the boy how to play video games.

As Gail came back to her regular self, or the new regular, she warned Jamie. It was the same warning Elaine had given, really. The Pecks knew, they saw in Lane something tenacious and hard. Lane would be like Gail had been as a child. He would grow up angry and lash out in stupid ways. Hopefully never drugs. And they had to give him something, an objective, to hang on to. Something to be a goal. Tyson was self-driven and incredibly disciplined for a child. Disturbingly so. Lane would be the opposite.

Well, damn it, they were right. Tyson as an infant was easy. He'd slept through the night early on, he liked formula, he smiled and laughed. An early reader and late talker, he absorbed information like a sponge and, as soon as he deigned to speak, proved it by informing his mothers that rockets flew high in the sky and then went into space.

His first sentence blew Jamie's mind. Vivian asked him to repeat that, recorded it, and sent it to Holly with the note that it was her fault. Now, four years old, Tyson was still hooked on rockets and outer space. He'd cried until Vivian agreed to get up at three and watch the manned rocket to Mars take off. For the last Christmas, all he'd wanted was the video collection of the making of the moon habitat.

In short, Tyson was a big old science geek.

Lane squalled and fussed. "I know, little guy." Jamie patted his back. "All that crap Maisie took really fucked you up." He squirmed. While the doctors swore the drugs were completely out of his system, Lane still had some lingering muscle issues. He was only baby she or Vivian had ever known who had to go through PT.

That meant, when Lane woke up crying, he was rarely hungry or needing changing. He just hurt. And they really couldn't fix that quickly. Jamie sat on the couch and put Lane in her lap, going through the exercises with him. She bent his legs gently, let him grip her hands and gave him a little resistance. And slowly but surely, Lane's tension eased. He relaxed and then yawned.

"That better, cutie?" Her son smacked his lips. "Oh, now you're hungry," laughed Jamie. She tickled his stomach, got a little laugh, and scooped him back up.

While Jamie heated up a bottle, Lane snuggled her shoulder. Those moments, quiet parent moments with Lane, were rare for Jamie. Normally it was Vivian who suffered the lost sleep. While Jamie appreciated the extra hours in bed, she had started to regret it recently. Hadn't Vivian, without a single complaint, taken up her share of Tyson? Jamie had brought the boy in their lives without warning her then girlfriend, and Vivian rose to the challenge.

Now, clearly, it was Jamie's turn. She knew she loved Vivian enough to forgive her the surprise and shock. And how could anyone hold Lane's problems against him?

Back on the couch, with a bottle, Jamie helped the infant eat. His sucking ability was still sub-par, so feeding was a trial in patience. He lost the bottle multiple times, fussed when it happened, and gently had to be guided back. It was still better than it had been at first.

"You know, I didn't think about kids, not seriously," she told the baby. "But your big brother, I carried him out of a burning building and I never wanted to let him go. I think Momma felt the same way about you. She caught you when you were born. Wearing her bomb pants and everything. Yeah, you and Ty are our danger babies."

Lane stopped sucking to look up at her with wide, curious, eyes. She stroked his cheek and was rewarded with her son resuming eating. It was getting better. "Atta boy," Jamie told him. "That's my good boy. Finish the bottle and we can go back to sleep."

She leaned back and closed her eyes, stroking Lane's hair. "You're gonna be a handful, Lane. But I don't regret a minute of any of this." His thick hair was soothing to caress. It was odd, but children's soft hair was really comforting. "Your Momma was adopted too. So she loves you guys so much. I worried I wouldn't, but when you smiled at me, I realized love is impossible to predict."

Lane yawned loudly and turned his head away from the bottle. After burping him, Jamie settled him against her chest and leaned on the arm of the couch. Every time they'd tried to put him down right after eating, he'd cried loudly. So resting and cuddling, bonding, after was a habit.

The boy grew heavier as he fell asleep, and Jamie tried to get up the energy to take him to bed.

Instead she woke up to the quiet voices of Ty and Vivian, clattering in the kitchen. Tyson, who had not mastered his quiet voice fully, asked if they were making eggs for everyone. Vivian laughed and said not for Lane, and they started to joke about how even Ty used to drink formula.

There was a beep and Jamie smelled coffee. That got her moving. She yawned and sat up, cradling Lane to her chest. "Please tell me some of that is for me."

"No, sorry, all the coffee is for me."

"Mooooooomma." Tyson groaned.

Vivian laughed and brought over a mug that read 'MOM.' An unexplained gift from Oliver, who had cried when they told him Lane's middle name. "Trade you? I brought his bassinet out."

With her long arms, Vivian tucked Lane against her and kissed Jamie's cheek. Jamie sipped the coffee and felt a little more alive. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Don't worry, I have a great photo." Her arm held the still sleeping Lane in place.

Vivian somehow moved effortlessly with the boy. Boys. Tyson had clambered onto the couch and was hanging onto Vivian's neck, peeking at his baby brother. Without fussing, Vivian carried the boys over to the bassinet and she settled Lane in. Tyson giggled and clung to her as she teased him for being a monkey boy.

Jamie smiled around her coffee cup.

If someone had told her that there would be these days, she would have laughed. Where she had a wife, two kids, and a family that spanned cities, Jamie would have felt them the stupidest in the world. She was nothing but trouble. She was a crazy woman who ran into fires, at first so she could be sure to feel something, but later... Later because she'd loved it.

Now though. Now Jamie wondered how long she could keep doing that sort of work. Because she couldn't bear to lose the family she'd made.

---

Everyone stood in the living room, surrounded by boxes.

"Well, we are home," said Vivian, in her usual, laconic, tone.

Jamie swallowed, feeling the edges of a panic attack tickle her brain. "Holy fuck."

Because they were standing in their house. Not the apartment. A house. An actual, three bedroom plus an attic, two and a half bathroom, house. It had a massive living/dining room, a decent kitchen, a detached two car garage, and a yard for the boys.

A house.

"How come you get the big room?" Lane was hanging off Vivian's back, curious and excited.

"Because I'm the biggest," announced Vivian. She swung him around and blew a zerbert on his belly button, eliciting giggles. "Go take your bags up, boyos. We got unpacking."

"And pizza!" Lane hooted and raced up the stairs.

Tyson gave his mothers a suffering look. "Thank you." He shook his head, picked up his microscope, and went to his own room up the stairs.

As soon as Tyson was out of sight, Jamie snickered. "He really wanted his own room."

"I'm just glad Lane wanted the bunk beds," admitted Vivian.

Jamie nodded and looked around. Their furniture felt incredibly sparse. They had a dining table that had been too big at the apartment, and was now too small. They had a couch and a comfy chair that looked too compact with too small a coffee table. The TV was by the wall, where it would live soon enough.

The house was considerably smaller than Gail and Holly's. Larger than the apartments Jamie had grown up in. It was a snug fit for four, but much roomier than their loft apartment.

It was terrifying.

"I've never lived in a house," she said, for the umpteenth time.

"I know." Vivian kissed her cheek and went to the kitchen. "Okay, dishes first."

"Not food?" Jamie was startled out of her nerves.

"Moms will be by with that. And yes, I have breakfast in the fridge. Though I think we may need to bribe the boys with pancakes in order to get them to put their stuff away."

Jamie snorted. "Instead of reading their books and playing with their toys."

They exchanged a look. Tyson would be reading. Lane would be doing something more active. They would both be creating new worlds and universes. "Dishes," said Vivian, firmly.

By the time they'd sorted out the kitchen, and gotten Ty to help with the books and Lane with the TV crap, Gail and Holly arrived with pizza and people. Oliver, who immediately swooped on his namesake Lane, had brought Jerry, who latched on to Tyson. Steve and Traci jumped in to unpack the rest of living room, which let Vivian and Jamie just sit for a while.

Except...

"Where did your moms go?"

Vivian had zoned out eating her pizza, and had been staring off for a good five minutes. "What?" She blinked and looked around. "Oh. Probably the bedroom."

"Our bedroom?"

"We don't have a guest room," Vivian pointed out. She put down the slice of pizza, giving up on it apparently. "I'd guess they're making our bed and hanging up our clothes."

There were more than just clothes in the bedroom. Jamie felt her face heat up. "Jesus! Vivian!"

Her wife looked blankly for a moment and then it seemed to dawn on her. "Oh. Well. That ..." Vivian sighed and stood up. "Sorry."

Jamie grumbled and got up as well. "I can't believe you wouldn't think of that."

"I'm tired!" Vivian scowled. "And I have to be at court tomorrow morning." Sadly, Vivian's job had little to no respect for the concept of a person moving into her own house. "Traci, did Moms go upstairs?"

The (retired as of last month) copper looked at her husband. "Steven."

Steve Peck sighed. "Yes, they went up with a present. I'm going to build your coffee table now, okay?"

As she walked past, Vivian shoved at Steve's head. "Thanks, Asshole."

"That's Uncle Asshole to you!"

But they laughed. They always laughed. Vivian was at ease with her family like this. Even as Celery was, apparently, smudging their porch while Oliver and Lane moved the outdoor grill into place.

"Where are C and Matty coming by?"

"Weekend," said Vivian, tiredly. And she winced as her phone rang. "Crap."

"Go take it. I'll keep your pervy parents out of my personal playthings."

"Nice alliteration," Vivian noted and kissed Jamie's cheek before tapping her phone. "Sgt. Peck."

Jamie sighed. She knew who and what she'd married, even if she didn't like it much. Sergeant Vivian Stewart Peck, though. Yeah. She was married to a police sergeant who had a white uniform shirt.

"Gail," she asked as she walked into her own bedroom. "Why were you never a sergeant?"

"Not a requirement," replied the white haired Police Inspector. Who was absolutely about to open a box that said personal. "Is this the sex toy box?"

Jamie felt her face change colour. "Oh god. Please just..." And she waved a hand.

Thankfully Holly was there. "Gail. Stop it." The mostly retired pathologist tossed a flat box onto a pile. "She's a child, Jamie.

A child who had unpacked most of the bedroom. The dressers were in place. The clothes were hung in the closet. The bathroom looked mostly settled, complete with towels. And yes, the bed was together and made.

"Wow," was all Jamie could think of to say.

"You have a lot of shoes," noted Gail, shoving the last box to the foot of the bed.

"I like shoes." Jamie stepped to what was clearly her side of the closet and marvelled at the organization.

"All those years of inventory paid off," Gail said thoughtfully. "Remind me to thank Oliver."

"He's helping Lane actually put away his crap," announced Vivian. "Mom, did you do my closet like yours?"

Gail nodded. "I thought you had to go in tomorrow?"

"I did, and then my guy got stabbed, so now I gotta go sort that out."

As Vivian started to take off her shirt, Gail cleared her throat. "Go shower first, you'll need it." Without acknowledging the comment, Vivian went into the bathroom, taking off her shirt and shoes on the way. Gail huffed. "Glad to see that's changed," Gail muttered.

Even Jamie could hear the sarcasm. "She gets in her head," Jamie said, a little defensively.

Holly gave Gail a look. "Stop it, Gail."

Gail held up her hands. "Stopping." And then, "Jamie, would you rather we stick around or ..."

Jamie blinked. She had spent a number of nights alone with the boys, and so had Vivian. That was the nature of their jobs. Jamie still spent up to five nights at a time away from home after all. It was nothing new. And yet. The first night in a new place, her first house, felt incredibly daunting. Reflexively, though, she started to demure. "No, it's fine. You should get home before it gets late."

Now Holly fixed her with a look. "Don't be silly," said Holly, quite firmly. "We're family."

And that was that. Vivian rolled out of the shower and into her uniform, pausing only to kiss Jamie and the boys, before heading out to whatever insanity her case brought. The rest of the extended family left not long after, which was about when Lane went from excited puppy to sound asleep. While Jamie wrangled him through a shower and brushing his teeth, Holly and Tyson cleaned up the kitchen and Gail vanished for a solid half hour.

The trustworthy Tyson took himself to bed, promising not to stay up all night. After all, the Internet wasn't set up yet. By the time Jamie got back to the kitchen, Gail had magically returned. With burgers, fries, and beer.

"Oh my god. I love you." Jamie jumped on her burger. Vivian insisted on the pizza, traditional moving fare, but Jamie loved burgers and the faster protein.

"Love you too, crazy fire girl." Gail picked up a cheeseburger and studiously ignored Holly's scowl.

It had taken Jamie forever to get used to their relationship. They were so loving and caring, and yet gave each other such shit. Vivian explained it came from a place of love, which was why it worked at all.

And they were her family too.

Jamie felt herself flush. "Thank you," she said quietly.

As if she could read minds, Holly just beamed and repeated, "We're family, Jamie."

---

"Mom, it's okay," said Vivian quietly.

The tone was what woke Jamie up. They'd spent Christmas Eve at the Peck house, much to Holly's delight, and that meant Vivian and Jamie were in Vivian's old room, while the boys shared the guest room. Lane complained, since if it was just the boys, he got to sleep in Vivian's room. Tyson didn't care in the slightest, and was just happy to hang on Holly's every word and ask her about science.

And while Jamie loved Christmas, the days leading up had been difficult at best. Gail had been working a serial killer case which had Vivian on edge as well, even though it was well outside her purview. It had gotten to the point where Holly gently suggested they rethink the Christmas plans, but Gail insisted it would be fine.

Yet at three AM on Christmas morning, Vivian was not in bed, and she was talking to someone out in the hall.

"Go to bed, Viv." That was Gail. Exasperated and cranky.

"Come on." Vivian's voice was the same calm and patient tone she used with the boys when they got ansty.

"Viv, it's different now."

"No it's not, Mom. We'll spin up Mario Kart and have cocoa and it's exactly the same. Okay? Do not make me carry you."

Gail laughed, a painful laugh, and their voices vanished down the stairs.

Why were they up? Jamie frowned and sat up.

She couldn't hear anything else. If she concentrated with her 'mom ears,' Jamie could just barely make out the sounds of a video game. But that was it. The sounds of the Peck/Stewart household weren't at all around, and Jamie had always felt a little odd at the house at night. Other peoples houses were just odd.

Trying to listen, Jamie dozed off and only woke up when Vivian slipped back into the bed. Jamie was too tired to really press the matter, and tried to make a note to do it when she woke up for real.

Instead, come morning, Gail and Vivian made an apology and locked themselves in the office.

"That is really annoying," grumbled Jamie as her sons ripped through their presents and played a bizarre game that ran the length of the downstairs.

Holly yawned. "Apparently they were up at night too."

"Yeah, I heard them talking a bit. Something about Mario Kart."

Her mother-in-law's focus sharpened. "Oh."

They still did that. All of them. They talked a lot about Jamie being in the club, but every once in a while, they all pulled back and stopped. Like she wasn't really in. "And now you're doing that too."

Jamie knew she was annoyed. No. Angry. But it was justified, she felt.

"Honey, it's not that." Holly put her coffee mug down. "You'll notice I'm not up there."

Okay, Holly had a point. But. "Not what, exactly?"

"They aren't leaving you out. Well, Vivian isn't. She's just trying to help Gail."

That was not the first time someone had said something along those lines. And now it was starting to become worrisome. After all, Elaine ... "Holly. Is Gail losing her memory?"

The retired doctor sighed. "Quite the opposite, I'm afraid. What, ah, what did Gail tell you about a serial killer?"

"Not a lot." Though Jamie had pieced a lot of things together based on multiple stories. "Viv said she was kidnapped and tied up?"

Holly nodded. "And drugged. With a mixture of ketamine and ACP."

Jamie made a face. "Special K? Seriously? That stuff is nasty."

"Quite. And combined, injected multiple times, it had an, ah, idiosyncratic effect on Gail's memory."

Abruptly, Jamie felt a little sick to her stomach. Holly had said it was the opposite of losing her mind. Which logically meant Gail couldn't forget. "Oh. Her nightmares are memories?"

When Holly nodded, Jamie did feel quite ill.

Tyson had suffered night terrors for a very brief while when he was three. But Vivian had been freakishly prescient about it. She'd just ... known. She'd abruptly get up and be scooping Ty up the second he started to really panic. It was not a trait she'd shown with Lane, however, who slept far worse than Tyson ever did. Still, anytime anyone had a nightmare, and that included Christian, Vivian just knew.

And that meant she knew when her mother had nightmares, and Vivian was up and trying to help Gail in any way she could.

"When Vivian was six until .. I think ten, she would wake up in the night and not be able to sleep," said Holly. Her voice was soft. "She slept with a nightlight, which ... well. So did Gail for a very long time. Anyway. One night, when we'd first moved here, Gail woke up and found Vivian sitting in the half dark down here." She pointed at the living room. "After that, they always just... knew."

Jamie looked at the stairs, thinking. On the one hand, she hated that her own family left her out of those things. But on the other, she too kept some of her biological family drama from those she'd married. And Vivian, well she still kept a lot of things up in her head.

In the end, she sighed. "Do you think Gail will ever retire?"

"Oh, I'm sure of it," said Holly very confidently. "I can see it coming. Not for a while though. She'll be at a desk in another year, and then hang it up in less than four."

That was startling. Like Vivian, who had made sergeant already and was the lead for her squad, Gail seemed like an institution in policing. The two of them shouldered a heavy burden, more now that Traci had retired, come to think about it.

"Are they the last Pecks?"

Holly startled. "No. Well. Yes, if you mean Pecks of significance. There's one on patrol at Fifteen and another at eight. But ... their heyday seems to be dwindling."

"Except for those two."

"Yes," agreed Holly. And then. "Did Vivian mention that I was going to be fully retired by summer?"

Jamie nearly dropped her coffee. "Uh, no. No she didn't."

Since the time Vivian and Jamie had married, Holly had been partly retired. She'd stepped back and wasn't the chief ME, but some oddly named, made up position of super smart doc on call. That was what Gail called it. Holly no longer was on call for emergencies in the night, and she didn't manage people anymore. She solved crimes, she taught the new people, and she worked a fourth as much. Which, considering she'd been holding down two full time jobs when Jamie met her, meant Holly was working half as much as a normal person.

And now she was fully retiring.

"Jamie, I'm 70."

That was almost more startling.

Holly had been just 60 when she'd met the woman.

Now she was in her 70s and Tyson was nearly 10.

"How long have you two been married now?"

"Most of our lives," mused Holly. She sounded a little dreamy. "I still can't believe Gail married me. Or dated me."

"Seriously? Holly, she's ... besotted."

Holly laughed a really nice laugh. That laugh was one of the best things about Holly. She was just a nice human, and she cared, and she loved people, and she was honest. And that laugh, god. No wonder Gail loved her. The world lit up when Holly laughed.

It did when Vivian smiled too, for that matter. Just differently. Vivian's was a guarded smile. Whenever Jamie saw it, she felt like it was seeing a miracle. Holly's was just a laugh that the universe didn't prepare a person for. It was the way life should be.

"I know," said Holly, still grinning. "But I didn't expect it." Then she added, "Neither did you, though."

Jamie blushed. "No. No I didn't."

Truth told, she thought dating Vivian would be fun. She was smart, athletic, fun, a little closed off in some areas and full of secrets, but a really good person. And then Vivian got shot, and Jamie realized she liked her a lot more than she'd thought. And Jamie got hurt at work and Vivian was there for her. And suddenly a fun time got serious, and they got serious.

"How the hell did I end up with two sons?" She blurted it and Holly broke out in a bigger laugh. A moment later, Jamie found herself laughing too.

They were still smiling when their weird, obsessed wives came back downstairs.

Because it was Christmas.

---

In her life, Jamie had seen her mother get angry many times. Angela had her issues, and when she lashed out, she did so in ways that cut down a person to their knees. More than once, Jamie had been the target of her mother's rage. Usually it was indirectly, but it still hurt.

Once, just once, Jamie had seen her wife angry. It was targeted at herself more than anyone else, but Vivian had been livid at the revelation of her hitherto unknown family. She'd been hurt and discombobulated and Vivian had taken it out the only way she'd understood.

Jamie had never actually seen Gail or Holly angry. She'd caught the edges of their disappointment, but it had never been aimed at herself or Vivian. They were disturbingly supportive of their daughter, their daughter in law, their grandchildren, and most of their friends. Well, Holly was. Gail had her moments of disdain and outright hostility, but the woman cultivated a surprising amount of menace for someone who didn't do anything.

As for herself, well, Jamie hadn't been angry much in her life. Not like that. As a firefighter, she'd been mad, scared, and thrilled. As a daughter, she'd been frustrated and terrified a number of times. But she'd never been angry like she felt just then.

She was livid. Her head was pounding in the seconds it took for her brain to process what her wife had just said.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Beside her, Gail cleared her throat. "Fired."

Vivian sat on the chair across, elbows on her knees, hands clasped, head down. "It's a possibility," said the younger Peck, cool and calm.

Perplexed, Gail asked, "Why didn't I know about this?"

"You didn't need to know, Mom."

"Oh fuck off," snapped Jamie. "What the fuck did you do?"

Vivian glanced up, a faint smirk crossing her face. She was amused at Jaime repeating 'fuck' so many times. "It was DeLany's set," was all she said.

Gail went stiff. "You went after DeLany?"

"Which one is DeLany?" Holly spoke up for the first time.

"Neo-Nazis," said Vivian. "They're what's left of the Blue Lives Matters boys."

When everyone else was silent, Holly asked, "What happened, honey?"

"DeLany's got a Super in his pocket. I missed that. So I have to unravel that bribery." Vivian shrugged.

"Who's on it?" Gail asked, her teeth gritted.

"People I trust."

It didn't escape Jamie's notice that Vivian was not asserting everything would be fine. Jamie snapped, "Oh, like you trusted whoever looked into DeLany?"

"Hey," said Holly, softly.

"No, it's fine, Mom," said Vivian. "You're right to be mad."

Gail exhaled loudly. "Jesus. So what'd he do? This Super?"

"She," said Vivian, correcting her mother. "Liz Boatman."

The older cop got even more stiff. But Gail didn't say anything about it. She just stared and looked ... stuffed.

Jamie was not. "Who the shit is that?"

"IA. Which is a problem." Vivian's admission was the first time she'd sounded nervous. "She's accusing me of perjury and spoliation."

Lying and theft, in other words. Her idiot wife could not only get fired, she could get jailed.

"You..." Jamie covered her face. She was shaking. A hand gently touched her back. It was Holly, offering support.

"Is there a frame?" Gail's voice was steady, but had a quality Jamie didn't recognize.

Vivian hesitated before answering. "Yes. I have Lara on it, though. Won't hold up, since I've had too many cases lately."

"I wish you'd never taken sergeant," said Jamie in a low voice.

Her wife didn't reply to that. She probably couldn't think of anything to say.

It wasn't a new argument.

After becoming a sergeant, Vivian had taken on a lot more responsibility. She was constantly working on cases, managing people, making sure training was going well, and basically being the workaholic cop Jamie had met. Oh, Vivian made time for her family. She never missed a game or a competition. She was there for the boys every day.

Just ... not as much there for Jamie. Vivian expected Jamie to hold up half the household. Not that it was unfair, but the halves the took care of were the cooking and cleaning and shopping, the boys, and the things that went with that.

Time for each other, to chill or just be, was limited. Jamie would be gone for five days at a stretch, and the delicate balance they'd maintained at twenty-five was harder at thirty-five. Maybe they weren't making it.

"What are you going to tell the boys?" Holly sounded curious.

"Nothing if I don't have to," replied Vivian. "If it goes to trial, then the public line. Someone is lying about me."

In times like this, Jamie hated her wife's job and that whole secret cabal she'd gotten pulled into. That there was always going to be infighting and lying and attacks. It was exhausting. And damn it all, Vivian liked the work. She always picked the side of right.

What Jamie wanted to ask was when Vivian would pick her side.

She didn't ask that.

She didn't ask Vivian to never bring their sons into this part of the Peck world. She didn't ask Vivian to talk their youngest son out of his still stated dream of being a cop. And she didn't ask Vivian why she kept throwing herself at the world like she did.

Instead, she made a demand.

"Next time," said Jamie, swallowing her anger. "Next time you fucking warn me first." And she looked up at Vivian.

Her wife didn't look away or try to hide. She met Jamie's look dead on. The brown eyes that were always so deep and thoughtful remained so now. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I should have talked to you first."

On either side of her, her mother-in-laws made a matching noise. It was a snort of annoyance and approval. They were clearly taking Jamie's side on that one. "Good," said Jamie. "Now. How do we unfuck this?"

---

The voice came from outside the bedroom door, a most disturbing and annoying way to wake up at the cottage. Cabin. Whatever.

"Moms, Moms, wake up!"

Vivian groaned and buried her face into her pillow. "Lane, it's too early. Go play outside."

"I can't!"

That woke Jamie up enough to blearily sit up. It wasn't raining... "Laney, honey, give me a second."

"Noooo." Vivian reached out across the bed. "Sleep."

"Go back to sleep, Viv." She kissed her wife's forehead and slipped out of bed, finding something vaguely reputable to wear. It wasn't really too early. It was almost nine. When she opened the bedroom door, Jamie was faced with a pair of brightly smiling boys. "Oh god, you're in cahoots," she muttered.

Tyson spoke gravely. "Grandmas sunk the boat."

As Gail would say, what the what? Jamie looked outside and saw her mothers in laws, in the lake, leaning on an upside down canoe. "And why, exactly, can't you play outside?"

"Cause Gramma Holly asked for a shirt," said Lane, practically.

Jamie covered her mouth and held back the laugh. "Viv, can you go get something for your mothers to wear?"

"What?" Now Vivian was sounding more awake.

"They capsized, and I think lost their clothes."

The groan from the bed was hilarious. "Fucking hell … Again?"

As one, both boys repeated the word. "Again?"

Tyson eyed Jamie curiously. "I'm not allowed to mess around in the boat. How come grammas can?"

"Well they're older, sweetie. Come on, let's make breakfast."

Lane was worried. "But Gramma Holly—"

"Viv will take care of them," said Jamie, assuredly.

By the time she'd started coffee, Vivian was trudging out to the lake in her swimming top and trunks, clean clothes in arm, and her goggles on. Cursing. It was rather early for that sort of shenanigans, Jamie had to agree, but a few minutes later two very wet grandparents came into the cottage. Gail was leading Holly, who had no glasses on.

"Gramma! Where're your glasses!?" Tyson sounded horrified. He'd begged and pleaded for glasses just like Holly's the year before.

"Vivian's looking for them," said Holly, flushing.

"And the keys to the boathouse." Gail shook her head, not at all embarrassed. "And I think my shoes. Though those may be a lost cause."

Jamie snickered. "I can't believe you two." She absently steered Lane way from the stove, where he was trying to see what was going on.

Gail just shrugged and guided Holly to a stool. "Hey, Lane, the stove's on, kiddo."

The younger boy sighed and clambered up onto the neighbouring stool. "Can't I help?"

"You can mix the batter," said Jamie, putting the bowl in front of him. The more trustworthy Tyson was already carefully chopping fruit.

"Ty's usin' a knife!" The boy was as petulant as Gail could be.

And Gail laughed and kissed his head. "You're not old enough yet, my Puckish Peck. Come on, help me mix pancake batter." She pulled Lane into her lap, where he squealed about the wet hug and laughed, but helped her stir.

"I hate both of you," announced Vivian as she walked in, towelling off her hair.

"Find 'em?" Gail was holding Lane's hand as he stirred.

"Glasses and keys. Your shoes and Mom's shirt are on the deck." Vivian plunked the glasses in Holly's hands and kissed Jamie's cheek before getting coffee. "I really hate you both."

Life. It wasn't at all what Jamie had expected.

---

It was not something Jamie ever voiced aloud, but the cottage was her favourite place in the world.

When Vivian pulled up at it for the first time, Jamie was astounded. She was also a little high on painkillers, but she found it stunning. It wasn't large and it wasn't fancy. It looked like it was a trapper cabin (and trying to picture some long forgotten pale, pale Peck as a hunter/trapper was hilarious). But in the hundred or two years since it was built, generations of Pecks had clearly left their mark on the renovations.

It fit with the surroundings. It was exactly what someone would expect a cottage in the woods to look like. Quiet, unassuming, simply present. Except for the fact that a massive fucking lake behind it. Oh and no neighbours. It had a cleared yard that wrapped around the side to the back and right to the lake, but then it was trees and trails and quiet.

The inside was a house, not a crappy cottage, totally renovated and insulated and welcoming. Warm, comfy, furniture fit in with a stone fireplace, wood floors covered in will rugs. Downstairs was an open floor plan, the kitchen blending into the dining room and then the living room, and right out to the back deck. The kitchen was a weird modern but old style. Jamie was sure the black stove was actually something super modern, but it looked a million years old.

At first, Jamie ignored the fact that there even was an upstairs. Oh she saw the stairs, and she saw the rooms below them, but the double doors that led to the deck captivated her. She had never in her life seen a lake like that before. Not outside TV at least.

From those back doors, the deck led to a lawn and the lawn to the lake. There was a dock, a few trees in the lawn for shade (one with a tire swing) and then a tree by the shore had a rope.

It was a goddamned fantasy house.

And that was the Peck Cottage.

In the time she dated Vivian, they went up to the cottage now and then. Once for Vivian's birthday, holing up in the massive snow storm. It was the first time Vivian had been really cuddly. They'd gone up for Holly and Steve's joint birthday, a raucous affair with singing and laughing and Gail shoving Steve into the lake. They'd gone up, just on their own, for a miraculous long weekend they both had off.

And then, when they moved from dating to married, and as Jamie got used to being called Peck instead of McGann, they took their son to the cottage. That was where Vivian taught Tyson how to swim and not be afraid of flinging himself through the air. They took him on hikes and climbing the rocks and showed him how to make s'mores and cook on a campfire. They spent evenings staring at the stars and letting their boy tell them all about the constellations. When Lane came into their lives, Jamie laughed as Ty showed him the wonders of their cottage. Their boys caught fireflies and sang stupid songs with Vivian as she cooked.

All in all, it was the world Jamie had never seen for herself. A city girl, and not even the nice part of the city, Jamie's idea of swimming was in city pools. Her concept of fires were related to work or old oil drums. She didn't do bugs or dirt or canoes.

Except she did.

Lying on the grass lawn, she watched Lane and Tyson run and leap off the dock over and over, trying to jump through a floating hoop they'd tossed out there.

"God are they still at it?" Vivian sounded amused and a little horrified. She sat down next to Jamie with two beers.

"Lane's nearly figured it out. Ty keeps whacking his arm on it."

Vivian shook her head. "I thought Moms were kidding when they said I did that shit for hours."

Taking a beer, Jamie smiled. "I bet you were tiny and adorable."

Her wife did not argue that. "Well. I was short."

The photos of Vivian at the same age as Lane showed a rather undersized girl. Then again, Lane was almost as tall as his brother, while being four years younger. "Everyone's short compared to Lane."

They watched Lane launch himself in a perfect dive.

"It's probably all that PT when he was a baby," said Vivian, reading Jamie's mind.

"Those books Ty reads don't help."

"He's going to be an athlete, our Lane."

Jamie smiled and leaned against Vivian. An arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her close. "You okay?"

Vivian shrugged and said nothing. She'd had a rough twenty months, even though she'd started it by making lead of ETF. The bomb squad had taken a few bad hits, losing some of Vivian's friends and Sue, who had finally retired. Gail had stepped down as head of OC, and was biding her time as a supervisor without the overwhelming and constant drive to solve every crime.

Soon, though, soon Gail would retire. They could all see it coming. Hell, Holly barely worked now. She was officially a pathologist emeritus. There were a few random cases Holly worked, now and again, mostly incredibly old and cold ones, but for the most part she relaxed. She wrote. She gardened. She came by and borrowed the boys.

The change in dynamics had thrown Vivian off her game, badly. She was the Peck now, the one everyone looked up to on the force. And the dynamics had changed Jamie's wife in ways she wasn't quite a fan of. Vivian had regressed. She stopped talking about everything and thought about it a lot more before speaking. That wasn't bad, but it made Jamie feel left out.

Vivian then spoke quietly. "Are you okay with all this?"

There was the question of the ages. "You're going to take the job?"

"I want to," said Vivian carefully.

"Then I don't know if it's my place to say no."

Vivian grimaced and leaned away. "Don't do that, Jamie. I'm not asking you to make this choice. I'm asking how you feel about it, so we can make a decision."

Jamie shook her head. "No, you're asking me how I feel so you can know how much shit you'll be in when you decide to do it anyway."

For a moment, Vivian looked hurt. Then she looked resigned. "It's not—"

"No. It is. And it's not like I don't know this about you, Viv." Jamie leaned back on the grass and watched Lane do a flip and still make it through the ring. "I married a very obsessed woman who doesn't like to talk about her feelings."

Vivian hunched a little. "I'm sorry."

Jamie shook her head again. "Look. I won't be mad you're not running face first into danger anymore. But ... this means you're not going to retire like Gail."

What Vivian wanted after all was the opening as Staff Sergeant for IA. It was a double jump, a job and a raise, and she was still wildly young for the role, but being a Peck, it was likely she'd get it if she tried. And that meant Vivian would work her way up the ranks in IA. Vivian wanted Elaine's old job.

That wasn't a job. That was a career.

"You don't think you'll be a fireman forever?"

"No," said Jamie immediately. "I don't."

That seemed to startle Vivian. "Oh," she said quietly.

And then and there Jamie knew. She knew that their paths were probably going to diverge at some point. Not too far from now. Vivian was going to be this, a career cop, until she died. Jamie wasn't. She loved her job, but she had no desire to transition to management and supervision.

For a fireman, there were fewer future paths.

Jamie studied Vivian's face. Her sweet, weird, wonderful wife looked worried. She was thoughtful and patient and kind. She was smart and obsessive. She was caring and brilliant sometimes. She was everything Jamie had really wanted in a person to love and raise a family with.

Was that enough for forever? Gail and Holly had somehow, miraculously, made it last forever it seemed. They were still idiots in love, flipping boats and getting caught by their grandsons making out. Or worse. Lane still refused to say what he'd walked in on.

"We aren't your parents," she told Vivian.

"No. Not yours either."

Jamie nodded. "We aren't."

"I don't know where this goes," admitted Vivian.

So she knew. Sooner or later, this would end. They both looked back at the lake, at where their children were laughing and playing. Things changed sometimes. People walked different roads and sometimes, sometimes they had a choice. Which road.

Jamie sighed deeply. "I'm clinging to crumbs sometimes, Viv."

Her wife flinched. She didn't have to say anything else.

They watched the kids jump into the water a few more times.

"Can we ... try?" Vivian was tentative and yet somewhat resigned. Because she had her road and Jamie saw it as clearly today as she had when they'd met. Vivian was a true blue copper and always would be. She would not diverge. She would not change. She couldn't.

But Jamie... Jamie was changing. And her choice now was to keep walking with Vivian or not. There were a lot of points and counterpoints to be made about the situation. Like what about the boys?

There was no question in Jamie's mind that she loved her wife and their sons. No, the question was if she could keep doing this, being a police officer's wife, knowing Vivian was unlikely to change. It was hard. It was the hardest thing about loving Vivian. The badge was nigh impossible to love, no matter how much she adored the woman behind it.

"Yeah. We can try," she replied.

---

That feels like a setup, doesn't it? If you had a feeling of unease through this whole chapter, you were supposed to.