Santa did his best to hide his erection.
Harmonica, the eight Hermione, was excited to meet the real santa claus,but Santa claus is Racist with a capital 'r' so he doesn't allow her to see his penis or even the outline of his boner.
Santa Claus became erect because a first year Ravenclaw girl had received the spirit of Enlil and the blessings of the sky.(seelastchapter)
The Blessings of The Sky etched Sumerograms all over her body(not on her clothes or her hair because that falls off just on her skin; Santa Claus, a Sumerogramaphile, has a fetishistic attraction to Sumerograms, the ancient writings of a sandblasted past once forgotten by all but the two most powerful Annunanki spirits that survived Jehovahs betrayal, Santa and Jehovah, but Enlil was able to comform his body into nebulously dissapated lapis lazuli ink which fragmented into little tiny pieces that were so small that their infinitesimal weight causes them to float up into the upper atmosphere where the blessings of the sky kept them safe until one brave person came along and did something brave enough to inspire them to return to earth...
so when the first year ravenclaw saved santas life just then she received the blessings of the sky and took upon the duty of Enlil
"What's your name?" Santa asked the still glowing little girl.
As the Sumerograms colonized the cells on her epidermis their internal light faded. Cho Chang closed her eyes and focused hard. just as she thought the light of the Sumerograms pulsed and wavered with her thoughts.
"I'm Cho Chang," said the first year Ravenclaw.
Harry 'the snake' Potter had been lurking about nearby and he couldn't believe it! Cho Chang!? A first year!?
Harry was pretty sure he had dated Cho a while back, bu-ut she had been 15 years old, when he fingerblasted her at the Winter Solstice Dance, a pagan festival still celebrated on the dark isle of England where druids and blood sacrifice still hold sway(lookin at you andrew). It would have been illegal to hand-fuck a child so Harry had been sure to check her i.d. first and it was all right there in black-n-white, 15 year old, and yeah, technically the age of consent is 17 but that's just for white people for asians it's 15 so Cho Chang rode Harry's hand long into the night until they were both spent and totally blissed out from such vigorous internal contact.
"How the fuck is Cho Chang a first year Ravenclaw when I took her to the dance last year and she was 15 then!?" Harry wants to know.
That's when Neville made his move. He had been waiting quite some time to tell Harry all about the time skips, had even invited him to fist for choclate frogs as a pretense to do so but that had only been Shanks O'Malley, the Katana Kid, and Neville had known his pal of Potter was not the young man huddled with him under an invisible cloak that afternoon and had kept shtum.
J.K. Rowling is currently wanted for questioning regarding the dissapearance of several small children in and around Edinburgh if you see her please call 336-981-5131 to leave an annonymous tip. We will try to ensure the safety of all tipsters but a diagnosed psychopath with a long history of sexual violence and drug abuse*not to mention all of the rumours of black mass* you just never know. -CALL AT YOUR OWN DISCRESTION.
"Harry!" Neville greeted Harry
"Hello, Neville," Harry responded, "those Sumerograms are wild, huh?" He took a hit off his vape. The year was now 3020, Richard Ramirez had been reconstituted as an AI and vapes came from biometric nodes installed in the thumb or forefinger. So Harry looked like he was sucking his thumb when he hit it.
"Fuck yeah they are, I was gonna get some SUmerograms tattooed into my lip because my parents would be mad at me for getting a visible tat and i oculd just hide it from them but the guy said they were too powerful and I really shouldn't..."
Harry laulghed.
"Oh yeah," Neville agreed, and just like that it was 2020 again... He didn't say much else he hadn't thought at all about how he would poach the subject
How am i suppoused to explain TIme slips when the very skips of which I speak compell the mind to work backwards, to fight an internal logic of the neuro-chemical and listne to the fervent whisperings of the heart...?
But luckily for him Harry changed the subject. Neville didn't have to worry about his troublesome explanations beccause Harry had just proposed an interesting ethical thought experiment,
'if a homeless man is trying to update his fanfiction every week so his readers aren't left hanging off the cliffs of the latest chapters plot twist what kind of person would someone have to be to want to bar him from doing so?"
"Whoa," Neville had to think about that one.
Neville's whole family was tortured to death by VOldemort and even he didn't think that people could be so cruel. How could some heartless librarian keep a down on his luck from following his heart?
"I guess they'd have to be A TOTAL BITCH! THAT'S RIGHT BITCH I SEE YOU LOOKIN OVER MY DAMN SHOULDER READING THIS SHIT SO FUCK OFF WHILE I FININS MY DAMN STORY GODDAMN-. .IL STOP TYPING WHEN YOU GIVE ME SOME DAMN SPACE HOW ABOUT THAT-
AUTHORS NOTE- SOrry guys this chapter didn't get al ot of editing to it because someone is rude af and doesnt care about dreams aparantly. Closing time is a suggestion and whnep ople are working on their lights passion it is critically tone death and also unfair to hold them to such abritrary rules. I queery you, intrepid reader, do you think creativity runs on some kind of beuarocratic scheduling? DO YOU think it's fair to kick a cold and tired homeless back onto the cruel uncarring streets just because some faceless drone somewhere decided that libraries close at such and such time? Like follow and subrcrsirbe and let me know about the answers you came up with from that poll(the part thats in bold) in the comments below