A/N: I've seen the RWBY: Volume 8 finale... I wasn't emotionally prepared for it...but I can't wait for Volume 9. Atlas will not fall in this universe's continuity, that's for sure.

Yang Xiao Long, Ann Takamaki and Futaba Sakura's Commentary of Dragonball Evolution (Part 2 - Final)

"So after Goku gives his most heartfelt powerhouse performance...", continued Yang before she asked Ann, "What do you think the directing for that scene was like?"

Ann answers, "Nonexistent."

"...Roshi gives them his Dragon Ball and says he'll join them to find the others.", the blonde huntress further states, "To quote Eddie Griswold from Christmas Vacation, 'Shitter was full!'"

Futaba then said, "He takes them to a training temple that looks more like Mortal Kombat High School where, what a surprise, Chi-Chi happens to be training there.", as Chi-Chi in the film explained that she is a fighter.

"Yeah, but what does that even mean? Fighting for money?", the elder sister of Ruby Rose asked.

The platinum-blonde teen guessed, "Fighting for justice?"

"Fighting for fun?", presumed the orange-haired hacker.

Yang points out, "Nothing else in this world makes sense, so why should this mean shit? A motivation has to have a reasonable purpose.", before exampling, "After that seemingly pointless scene..."

"Seemingly pointless?", the glasses-wearing teenager wondered.

The blonde huntress answered, "Entirely pointless.", continuing, "...they fall down a hole and get trapped by a guy named Yamcha.", as she, Ann and Futaba see Bulma talking to Yamcha who was outside on the top of the hole, "Okay... Let me guess. He should be saying, 'I'd be, uh, so grateful if you would just help me and my friends out.'"

"Just because he can improvise doesn't mean he should.", reasoned the wavy-haired girl.

Futaba summarized, "They build a fire as it gets late in the night, and Roshi literally tells the same story we heard in the opening. But Bulma finds out only now for some reason that the Dragon Ball is buried beneath them. That's lucky.", as Roshi in the film suddenly jumped out of the pit which startled Yamcha as the former says he had played enough games, causing her, Yang and Ann to proclaim, "WHY DIDN'T HE DO THAT BEFORE?!"

"They offer to pay Yamcha if he helps them dig, which is weird, because that means they could have just paid him before anyway. How many hours did they waste down there? Because that was a waste of time for their storyline!", Yang argued angrily.

Ann synopsized, "So digging through a hole leads them to the top of a volcano where Piccolo sends his minions to stop them."

"In doing so, though, he only provides a way for them to get to the Dragon Ball. Our evil strategist, everybody.", the orange-haired hacker supported.

Ruby's elder sister reacted when seeing Goku use the minions' bodies to float across the lava, "The floor is literally lava!", describing the next scene, "Goku gets the ball, but is pretty easily defeated by Piccolo's assassin...only to have her easily defeated a second later. Look at this. He talks in the next scene like he doesn't even notice her. Yeah, while he's at it, he would've added when he mentioned about this demon he spoke of to Roshi, 'Oh, there's a lady, too. She got a swing-in. Just...pointing her out in case she was supposed to be a powerful second-in-command.'"

"So Chew the Fat, How Many Stars, Surf Ninja and Elijah Wooden all travel to the Temple of Underappreciated Ghostbusters.", abstracted Futaba.

The platinum-blonde girl gave another fun fact from the show, "So even though in the show that focuses on mastering energy, here, it's mastering...", sighing in disappointment, "...airbending."

"They do not call it that.", disbelieved Yang.

Ann states, "Oh, but they do."

"Do they know the difference between animes, non-animes, and abominations like The Last Airbender movie?!", ranted the blonde huntress, massaging her head in distress.

The glasses-wearing teen said, "I'm honestly surprised Sailor Moon isn't in this.", also noting, "Funny, by the way, how in the show, Goku was a child prodigy, and here, he can't even light a goddamn candle!"

"Well, that's because he's not properly horny-vated.", Yang said, whilst another snippet of Goku had him meeting Chi-Chi once again as she told him if he lit a candle, he can take one step closer to her; Goku tries lighting the candle again with his ki, but failed.

The wavy-haired teenager imagined, "I bet Goku would say, 'No, I swear, that happens to all guys!'"

"He finally gets it, but Piccolo's assassin breaks in, disguised as Chi-Chi, stealing the Dragon Balls.", outlined the elder sister of Ruby Rose.

Ann noticed, "Even Rossum has a look that says, "Wow. Howard the Duck's effects are way more convincing right now."

"Goku has a near-acting experience in a later scene, where he sees his grandpa, and...you know, says stuff like 'it's not your time', 'have faith in who you are', blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... Come on! That was just a generalisation! He actually says that?!", exasperated Yang.

Futaba suggested, "Why not just have him say, 'Plenty of fish in the sea.' or 'Remember to drink your milk!', there's plenty to go around!", also describing the next part, "Grandpa brings Goku back to life because he's only half-dead, and they go to stop Piccolo after apologizing to Ernie Hudson for having him for only two minutes.", while a scene showed Sifu giving the Mafuba to Roshi.

"I wonder if Sifu was like, 'I spent three hours in makeup for this?'", the blonde huntress pondered.

The platinum-blonde girl condenses, "Thankfully, their car is shitty-shitty-bang-bang and can fly fast enough to stop Piccolo's monologuing.", as she and the other two see a scene with Piccolo's monologue of him obtaining the Dragon Ball, "You know, just because your underacting is way better than their overacting doesn't mean it's not underacting."

"They get there at the start of the eclipse and try to stop him from taking over the world.", says Yang, just as the three were surprised to see Goku wearing his traditional outfit in said scene.

Ann delighted, "Look, he even has the outfit on! It's totally Dragon Ball now, guys!"

"I bet Piccolo must be thinking to Goku, 'You can barely act!'", mimicked Ruby's elder sister.

The orange-haired hacker continued, "But in a bizarre twist, Goku, it turns out, is Ozaru, turning into a monster. Would've been nice if someone prepared him for that.", as in the following snippet of the climax had Goku transforming into Ozaru, with Piccolo telling him his friends have a Dragon Ball as said friends arrive too late.

"I bet he's saying, 'Don't make my voice sound even more disinterested.'", the wavy-haired teenager imitates before they saw Goku/Ozaru kill Roshi when he attempts to use the Mafuba, causing Goku to regain control and come back to his senses, turning back to normal.

Yang climaxes, "Goku kills Roshi, but remembers who he is and turns back.", as they witnessed in the film when Goku tell Piccolo about the first rule his grandfather taught him, with Yang, Ann and Futaba thinking, "Always read the script?", before Goku tells him there are no rules.

"Then how is that the first rule?! That's just dumb!", argued Futaba.

Ann chronicled, "Piccolo and Goku finally face off. And for a movie adapted from a show known for its fighting, this fighting sucks some harsh balls. Bibleman had better effects!"

"Look. Most of the fighting is just Goku trying to not get his ass kicked.", observed the glasses-wearing teen.

The blonde huntress shook her head, "No, that's not true. He hit him once...twice... Oh, my God. I think that's it."

"One of the most famous fighters in anime history, and he only gets two hits!", realized the platinum-blonde girl, "Seriously, how powerful is this character?!"

Yang then told, "Goku realizes he has to be both himself and Ozaru...whatever that means...and he unleashes the ultimate power. Sadly, it's not the Super Saiyan, but..."

"That's right, the Kamehameha. In the show, this is always the highlight, an incredible display of power blowing everyone figuratively and literally away. Here... I think he turns into a screensaver.", said Ann, right before the film shows Goku colliding into Oiccolo with the Kamehameha, exploding into an array of blue-colored hit waves.

Futaba gulped, "Oh, no! He's turned into 3D Pipes!"

"Actually, can we just watch that? They are more convincing.", prefers the elder sister of Ruby Rose.

The wavy-haired teenager said, "I truly believe that they're pipes.", who then abstracted, "The eclipse wraps up, but nothing compares to the shade this movie has given to the Dragon Ball franchise."

"But, hey. Now that Goku has the Dragon Balls and has one perfect wish, what's he's gonna use it on?", expected Yang as the three see Goku use the Dragon Balls to summon the wish dragon Shen Long, the former calling out to him to grant his wish.

Ann imitates Goku in the film, "Not until you say like you give a shit!"

"The Putrid Pus looks so fake, you could have Sean Connery voicing it.", the blonde huntress complained about the glowing CGI Shen Long's appearance before Goku said in the film's climax that his wish was to give life to Roshi, "...Funny. He could've used that wish to grant world peace."

The orange-haired hacker gave another idea, "Or bring back his grandpa, the person who raised him."

"Oh! Maybe to have the power to bring back anyone he wants whenever he wants?", the platinum-blonde girl also added.

Yang contemplated, "How long was this journey? They had plenty of time to talk about this!", before she described the following scene after the climax, "But the Dragon Balls are gone, and they have to find them again. Oh, no. As if this film didn't already repeat shit we've seen a million times."

"But it's cool, because Goku reunites with Chi-Chi, who...stayed behind while everyone else fought.", says Ann, looking on the bright side.

Futaba apologizes, "Yeah, where was her lazy ass?", whilst they see the last fight scene between Goku and Chi-Chi during their training, freeze-framing as the movie ends, "Because that's what Dragon Ball is all about."

"Oh, and just when you think it's over...it turns out they have a mid-credit stinger!", inevitably told Ruby's elder sister, "It's revealed that Piccolo is still alive, and he's being tended to by a woman. Okay, that should only take five seconds to reveal. Big whoop."

The wavy-haired teenager implied, "Well, they do apparently think that it is a big whoop, because they spend about a minute and a half dragging this reveal out."

"A minute and a half? What the hell can you show in that amount of time?!"

"Well, the suspenseful build-up of picking plants...bringing the plants inside...putting the plants in the medicine...making the medicine...carrying the medicine down the hallway-"

"Okay, we get it! GOD!"

"Yang, this is all essential in delivering such a powerhouse reveal! Then, they bring the medicine into the room...dab a cloth in the medicine, and then the reveal!"

"Whatever that extensive mid-credits scene was, you're not happening, sequel.", disapproved Yang.

Ann and Futaba proved their point in unison, "RIGHT?! RIGHT?! That! Was! So! STUPID!", as they finish the movie and turn it off, "So that was Dragonball Evolution."

"Whether you're an average moviegoer or a die-hard fan...", Yang concluded before Ann and Futaba join her by saying in unison, "It blows."

The three girls make their overall opinion on Dragonball Evolution;

Yang consummated, "It's visually disjointed, it has little to no worldbuilding, the acting is awkward, the effects are lame. It's pretty laughably bad."

"Fans that have waited years for a faithful live-action movie are gonna have to keep waiting, because this has no idea of what Dragon Ball was about or what made it so special.", reviewed Ann.

Futaba finished, "It doesn't work in any way. And any newcomers that are introduced to Dragon Ball this way risk losing a fan for life. It's just one big disrespectful mess."

"Well, I probably would have hated the movie anyway, but thank you, Ann and Futaba, so much for showing me in how many different levels I should hate it.", the blonde huntress happily thanked.

The wavy-haired teenager smiled, "No problem, Critic."

"Been a pleasure.", the glasses-wearing teen said, adjusting her glasses in accomplishment.

Just then, they heard a sound on the roof.

"Huh?", wondered Yang as she tilted her head.

She goes to open the shoji door to go investigate while Ann and Futaba were about to follow, but suddenly someone lands out of nowhere from above in a ninja landing pose.

It was Rachel, who seemed to have a new apparel at the moment after her presumed ninja training with Ibuki and Tsubaki was done.

Rachel was wearing a traditional dark-green ninja garb with its color scheme being similar to her coveralls, a hooded cowl that hides her face except the area across her eyes like most ninja outerwear had. While she had no weapons equipped, she had removed her gloves with the sleeves on her ninja outfit extending to her fingers, and she was also barefoot despite some footwraps around her ankle.

"Rachel?! You startled us. Nice ninja garb.", Yang surprised, chuckling.

The dark-blonde immortal freelancer said, "Thanks. Ibuki and Tsubaki helped me learn the ropes on being a ninja myself, so they wanted me to find an outfit to wear though I'm still keeping my old one."

"Yes, she learned a lot of things. She tested shurikens, smoke bombs and even agility.", Ibuki said, landing next to Rachel all of a sudden, "Sorry for scaring you. You and the other two must be done with your movie review. Which was it?"

Ann sighed, "Dragonball Evolution."

"My... And I thought the old live-action Street Fighter movie was as bad as that.", the kunoichi thought.

The blonde huntress nodded, "Yeah, I'll be getting to review it with my teammates someday."

"Anyways, Tsubaki went to meet with the others. I presume they must be liking the Glade so far?", the Street Fighter character mentioned.

Futaba guesses, "We think so."

"So, Rachel, what kind of ninja skills have you learned during your training?", Yang gladly asked.

Rachel recounted, "Well, I learned about stealth like camoflague, I learned how to climb up trees barefoot and leap from one place to another, so on."

"Interesting.", the elder sister of Ruby Rose answered, "Those must be the ways of being a ninja, huh?"

Soon after, their friends Miria, Celty, Sinon, Leafa, Maka, Tsubaki, Maki, Tamaki, Iris, Ty Lee, Mai, Natsume, Faye, Fuu, Iki and the others came back after going around, meeting up with Yang, Ibuki, Rachel, Ann and Futaba.

"Hey, girls!", Miria delighted.

Ibuki smiled, "So, how did your tour here go?"

"Great. We found some souvenirs here and there, but it was amazing.", Mika Harima replied about their experience.

Fuu told, "I tried the food here, and it reminded me of back home a few centuries ago. Very nostalgic..."

"Also appealing by its ancestry.", Faye says in interest.

Sinon also tells Yang and the others, "We stopped by Kasuga's place, and we looked around for a bit. She seemed to be a ninja expert, but she seemed to have a collection of movies, TV shows and even literature books. I don't think she has an interest in gaming. I am a movie reviewer alongside Leafa sometimes, so I can see why."

"That's great. I still wonder what Ruby and the others are doing-", Yang nodded in approval.

"Yang!"

She turned her head to see Ruby, Blake, Weiss, Baiken and the latter's friends coming over after their time in the Glade.

Yang said as she came over to hug her younger sister, "Ruby!", who then said, "So how was it?"

"Majestic. We looked around and went to the waterfall, and we even stopped by the wondrous hot springs here before we went. Dried ourselves off shortly. How was your review with Ann and Futaba?", Ruby asked her elder sister.

The blonde huntress sighs, "Horrible. It was our review for Dragonball Evolution."

"That was a horrible anime adaptation.", groaned Ruby.

Blake and Weiss simply conclude, "We think it's best to avoid that like the plague, if you know what we mean."

"I'm so glad you all enjoyed your time in the Glade. I think it's time we go back to the Samurai Kingdom for a while, everyone.", Baiken said proudly, smiling.

Ibuki offered, "Hey, if it's not a bother...can I join you guys? I have a lot of free time on my hands, so this must be the opportunity."

"I don't see why not.", the pink-haired samurai nodded, chuckling.

Rachel gratefully said to her, "Thanks for the ninja training, Ibuki. I'll put my coveralls back on at some point later on today, but this kunoichi outfit is off the hook."

"And thanks for letting us do our movie review at your home.", thanked Yang.

Ruby excited, "Yay! This event is getting better and better! Let's go, everyone! I wanna try on a kimono!"

"So do we!", Yang, Blake and Weiss insisted.

Everyone else but Baiken (who smiled proudly and chuckled) laughed happily as they decide to go back to the Samurai Kingdom, now with Ibuki part of the group.

End of Yang Xiao Long, Ann Takamaki and Futaba Sakura's Commentary of Dragonball Evolution

Up Next: Blake Belladonna, Weiss Schnee and Natsume's Commentary of Forest Warrior