POV: Alex
As the days went on, as the season changed from winter to spring, and as my sessions with Mrs. Carter improved better than expected, things started to look up. Moving on from the past was easier said than done, but Mrs. Carter helped me to my feet, showing me I could be someone different. Life suddenly wasn't so scary.
However, each session brought on more questions than answers.
Mrs. Carter flexed her fingers in her office where the air was purified by a loud machine in the back. My eyes lowered, knowing whatever I was about to say could make this session go downhill. But I trusted her, even with my darkest thoughts. She was supposed to help me, to fix me, so sharing a few insecurities shouldn't have been too bad, right?
"I'm just worried about Jordan," I said, heart rate picking up. "She's so caught up in the investigation and who could've done it." Still, I didn't trust Mrs. Carter enough to tell her Jordan thought she was the murderer...things couldn't have ended up so well if I did.
Mrs. Carter's tail flicked in the air, clasping her hands together on her sleek wooden desk. "Well, the investigation hasn't proven anything. There haven't been any new updates, new evidence, nothing. So, I understand why she's pushing forward with it. She wants the murderer brought to justice."
"I know," I said, releasing the tension built up in my chest with a sigh. "I just...there's no getting through to her, you know? She's so stubborn and persistent...almost to a fault. It's not like it's a bad trait, but it makes it harder to get along with her and try to steer her out of situations that aren't good for anyone."
Mrs. Carter gave a sympathetic look. "I understand, but you are not responsible for other animals' happiness. You aren't responsible for their actions, for their behavior, and for their tendencies. What I want you to do is focus on yourself. It's the only way for you to get better."
"I know, but it just feels like I'm running away from everything rather than charging in head first to confront those obstacles."
Mrs. Carter laughed, poised and shrill. "We need to take it slow and easy. We already understand where the root of your problems lie, it's your parents. There's no denying the abuse you went through warped your mind for the worst. Your upbringing with herbivores seems to have... dampened your natural carnivorous instincts. In fact, it seems to have gotten rid of them all together."
"Yeah, I guess. Eating herbivores is something I've never had to think about. Sure I've worried about it, but the urge-or whatever it is-never came."
"And it probably won't. You've probably heard this before, but have you noticed you don't seem to slouch? You stand at your full height, which is quite scary towards herbivores. Although it's not something we can change. The other wolves in the school tend to avoid you as well."
Tell me something I don't know.
"I'm not social like them," I said. "It's not that I don't want to be, it's just, I can't relate to them at all. They're all so sociable and happy and… I'm so different compared to them." I sighed, tears filling up my eyes and splashing onto the sleek desk. "I just want to be normal. I want to be seen not as a wolf, but as just another animal whose suffering. But that isn't allowed. I'm not allowed to feel things, I'm not allowed to be sad, or depressed, or anything . I have to be this shy wolf, I have to hide in the shadows for the sake of everyone else. I don't want them to fear me, so it's just better for me to not even exist in the first place."
Mrs. Carter placed a hand on mine. "I'm going to ask you a difficult question," she said, locking her eyes on mine. "Have your friends helped you at all? I know you say they're always there for you, and it was obvious to see Jordan actively fighting for you when you were admitted into the hospital. But have they done anything since?"
Her question hit me like a train - followed by a ton of bricks. My head throbbed, eyes blinking rapidly as I tried to put together situations where they had helped me. Ever since the investigation almost closed, it was all Jordan ever focused on. I was in the background of her fairy tale ending where she catches the bad guy and everything turns out happily ever after. But in every happy ever after, there's always one character everyone forgets about.
"No," I said finally, "no none of them have tried to help me...not even Steven." His name stung my tongue the most. I had loved him, he had loved me. And yet, I could feel that love trickling out of my body, out of my scars and into little puddles on the floor.
Mrs. Carter's eyes went soft as she leaned back in her chair. "Then I want you to try to remove yourself from them. They don't seem to have your best interests at heart, they don't seem to care about you. They only care about themselves. You don't need that right now. What you need is someone who will always be there for you. Who will always be on the phone when you call, and who is always willing to talk when you need to." She shifted in her seat, straightening her spine. "I will always be that animal."
I tried to focus on her words of encouragement, but to think none of my friends cared about me hurt the most. They were there when I was in the hospital, they were there when I got kicked around by a cop and when I tried to kill myself again...Jordan was there when I had tried to kill myself in the school. I had put them through so much, but they never tried to help me with anything. Sure Jordan focused more on mental health and changed her whole attire and everything. But that was just because nobody was taking her seriously, and now that they were, she changed. She would sneak off to the audiovisual room and it was easy to tell her and Nathan were keeping secrets.
I was surrounded on both sides, and Mrs. Carter was giving me a way out, extending her hand from the sky for me to grab. She wasn't an angel, but she didn't appear to be a demon either. She was an animal like the rest of us, and she wanted to help me. I had to trust her with that mindset in place.
The sessions with Mrs. Carter ended, I was feeling, well, better than I thought I would. There was still this massive weight on my shoulders, like atlas holding up the sky, crushing underneath its weight.
Living in a world where no one's innocent. Oh, but at least we try.
A couple of animals walked through the front office doors, shying away as I squeezed past them, hitting my shoulder against the door and stumbling into the commons of the school. Jordan awaited me, arms crossed over her chest, eyes staring me down. I wanted to separate myself from her, but the memories of us were forever ingrained in my mind. It was hard to just forget about someone, to just let go of them for good. Still, Mrs. Carter told me to stay away from the animals who had caused me so much pain, and my mind was set.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" she said.
"Well, if I were to take a guess, I'd say you're here to tell me how Mrs. Carter is ruining my brain."
Jordan smirked. "You know, you're an idiot." Then her mood shifted, eyes low to the floor, but fists clenching. "I thought we were friends. We've gone through everything together." She shook her head. "And you're just throwing it all away because of what some cheetah says."
I was tired of Jordan, of all her antics and her annoying brash behavior. "At least she's trying to help me. At least she wants what's best for me," I said, walking past her, but Jordan put a hand on my chest.
"Don't leave." Her eyes pleaded with mine, but the signal they were sending wasn't received.
"I should've left a long time ago," I said in a low growl, pushing her hand off of me. "I don't understand your obsession with me. Jesus, Jordan. Sorry I don't love you the way you want me to. Sorry I can't be your perfect animal." I knew my words cut deep, and in some twisted way, I was glad they did.
"I don't want you to be my lover!" she shouted. "I just want my friend back!"
"Maybe you should've thought about that before you lied to me."
Jordan held back her words, eyes glimmering with fresh tears. She slumped her shoulders, crying in her hands. "So it was all for nothing?" she said through sobs. "The screaming, the crying, the perfect storms. Was it all for nothing? The times we spent together, the feeling we shared. Does it mean nothing to you?"
"There was happiness with you, but there'll be happiness without you," I said.
Jordan nodded at this and walked off. I knew exactly where she was going, the audio visual room to tell Nathan everything. But Mrs. Carter had told me that Nathan was the best animal in this school for hiding secrets. "If you should worry about any animal in this school," she had said, "It's Nathan Turner." It was kinda hard to believe Nathan, out of all animals, was the school's least known animal. I had asked around about him and nobody seemed to know anything, half of the time they asked, "who?" after I popped the question. Just meant I needed to stay away from him as well, I needed new friends. But for the time being, I only needed Mrs. Carter.
In times like these, my body would take over, rushing me to the nearest bathroom and slicing open the wounds on my arms, letting the blood wash away the pain. In these trying times we weren't trying, my mind was clearer than before. When I really thought about it, when I dug up the past in my head, Jordan and Steven only caused more problems than they solved. The pain wasn't just because of my family, it was also because of my friends. How could I have been so blind?
It had been two months since the investigation started, and ever since, there hadn't been any new developments. Everyone was still lost in the dark with no light to guide them out. There were suspects, but they were eventually ruled out every time. Jordan had been suspected and so was Nathan, they were crossed off the list as well since Jordan vouched for Nathan, who was found innocent. She always was closer to him than me. I guess that's why I began to despise her. She got angry at everything and got herself into fights she couldn't win. Well, she could win them, but she wouldn't let anyone know that.
Still, it was hard to just remove the thoughts and feelings I had for Jordan and Steven. We had been through so much together, that much was true. Didn't matter though, I needed to get away from them, focusing on myself and my happiness. I was tired of worrying about how they felt and how they were doing. It was my time to just be me, to just leave the past behind and force the weight it left on my shoulders off for good.
Walking the halls of the school only led me to believe about the herbivore side of me more. There wasn't a temptation when I turned my head to herbivores in corners. I only wanted to help them, never wanting to eat them. Sure I was shy and reserved...meek even. But terrifying was something I knew I needed to accept. I couldn't do it though, I just wished I was born an herbivore rather than a wolf.
Dalton was at the end of the hallway, staring me down with his green eyes and sharper than average claws. He was bulky for a red fox, I'd give him that. But it didn't matter when it came to height and weight. I was superior in every way, superior towards the dogs of the school and the foxes.
I forced my eyes away from his, keeping my gaze low to the ground as I passed him. However, he decided it would've been better to match my pace, walking right alongside me. He was always stupid and annoying, putting his nose in places where it didn't belong. He had bullied me, cursed me out, and confessed his love to me. I never asked for any of it.
"What do you want?" I snarled, still keeping my eyes low, but seeing his red figure out of my peripheral. Dalton was someone who, as much as I hated, I didn't want to cross. If push came to shove, we would be equally matched. Still, I had always forgotten about him most of the time, spending time thinking about everything but him.
"You don't seem to listen to anyone else," he said, grabbing the fur on my head and pulling it back to face his eyes, "so maybe you'll listen to me." His grip tightened, exposing his fangs. "You can't just force the animals who have always been there for you out of your life!"
I grabbed his wrist, twisting his arm around and pinning him against a locker. A low growl escaped my mouth and small animals fled from the hallway. "You don't know anything about friendship," I said, voice low enough to resonate within a growl.
He swiftly jabbed his elbow into my side, a gasp escaping my mouth as he broke free, claws at the ready. "You're sick," he said, readying a stance with his fists. "I'm tired of you ruining everything you and the rest of us have worked so hard to gain." He planted his foot on the ground, building up energy as he burst into a full sprint, sending his fist straight into my face.
A loud crack reverberated throughout the hall as I clashed against the lockers and toppled over, clutching my nose as crimson liquid oozed out and splattered onto the floor.
"You have a lot of scars, Alex," he said, straightening his posture and extending his hand, "don't make me give you anymore."
"As if you could," I sneered, vision doubling. I wasn't going to lose to a filthy fox, especially one who was a bastard from the very start.
Dalton retracted his hand, but I grabbed it, pulling him close and slamming him to the floor. He tried to scramble away, clawing at the ground and shouting. I chuckled a little bit, grabbing him by the tail and dragging him across the floor.
"What the hell are you doing?!" he shouted.
"Just something to shut you up," I said. My body moved on instinct to the fight ensuing, brain taking over the strategical part and body moving on its own. With Dalton at my mercy, I used all the strength I had as a wolf and threw him into the lockers, his body slumping to the ground.
I stalked over to his body on the ground, kicking him in the side, wanting him to feel the same pain I had felt so long ago. But before I could reel in another kick, he grabbed my leg, sinking his claws in deep. The pain was sharp, stinging each nerve as the claws sunk deeper and deeper into the skin, the grey fur soaking up the red blood.
I snarled, trying to release the grip on my leg by pulling away, leaving the claws to scrape across the rest of my leg. Five straight lines oozed out blood onto the floor as Dalton staggered to his feet, his chest steadily rising and falling.
"Don't make me hurt you anymore, Alex," he threatened, eyes narrowed.
The pain in my leg was drowned out by the pumps of adrenaline electrifying my body. My heart was beating faster than it had ever beat before, pounding in my ears, drowning out all the other sounds in the hallway. Dalton kept his composure, his fists clenched and teeth bared.
A low rumble steadily rose in my throat as I launched myself towards him, full intent to bludgeon his face. Dalton anticipated my movement, moving behind me faster than before and pressing his hand onto my back, slamming me into the lockers once again.
Pain shot up into my jaw, the dizzying and double vision feeling returning.
"You can't win, Alex," Dalton said as I stumbled to my feet, clutching my jaw.
I attempted to launch myself at him again, arms out to grab and tackle. Dalton sidestepped me, kicking my back to the floor. I tried to get back up, but he placed his foot on my back, pushing me down to the ground. "You idiot! Why are you throwing away everything you've worked for!"
"Because all they've done is cause me problems," I said through gritted teeth, blood puddling on the floor. The taste of iron was sweet and bitter at the same time, ears ringing from the sound of bodies hitting lockers.
"Don't destroy what you love so much, don't throw everything away just because of what some crazy cheetah says." He dug his heel into my back, keeping me in place. "If she were really trying to help you, she would tell you to stick close to your friends, not push them away." His voice held a sense of pity in it as he spoke to me.
My breathing increased, heart rate picking up from the sensation on my back. "How would you know!" I shouted, an onslaught of tears cracking the dam. "All you've done is bully me and everyone else! If anyone here deserves to be in pain, it's you!"
Dalton sighed, his shoulders slumping. "If that's how you really feel, then I'm sorry to do this to you." He took his foot off my back, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt, reeling his fist back and slamming it into my face.
Everything went dark.
️ ️ ️
Whispers clouded my mind, growing in intensity as my eyes slowly opened up, blinking several times from the unexpected light to reveal the principal sitting in front of me, Dalton to my side, and a nurse with an ice bag over my eye. A bandage was wrapped around my muzzle, sensitive to even the slightest touch or twitch.
The principal nodded his head and the nurse placed the ice bag in my hand, heading for the door as she stole one last glance, then closed it behind her. I moved the ice bag over to my eye, it was cold and it stung, two things I hated. The principal kept a watchful eye on me as I hung my head low, eyes looming over Dalton's bruises. They weren't as bad as mine from what I assessed in the four seconds I was awake, but I was sure they still hurt.
The moose of a principal leaned in, not too close though. "Now that you're awake, we can discuss what just happened." A smirk crept across Dalton's face, probably feeling proud because he just took down a wolf twice his size. "You two fought in the middle of a hallway, not to mention the property damage on the lockers and the countless herbivores you scared."
I glanced in Dalton's direction. "He started it." Dalton rolled his eyes. There wasn't a whole lot either of us could've said to get us out of that situation. The whole reason Dalton started the fight was because of the stupid assumption that Mrs. Carter was using me for whatever game she was playing. And when I thought about it, the more idiotic it sounded.
The principal continued. "We can't have two reckless carnivores making a mess of things at this school." He turned his attention to me. "Alex, I know you're under the care of Mrs. Carter, but even her influence has its limits." He then directed his attention to Dalton. "And you Dalton, just because of your physical capabilities doesn't mean you can knock a student out cold, no matter the circumstances."
"So what's our punishment?" I groaned, just wanting this whole thing to be over.
The principal cocked his head. "Well, for you Alex, I put Mrs. Carter in charge of that. And for you Dalton, we need your assistance with the investigation." Dalton opened his mouth to protest, but the principal raised a hand to silence him. "I'm being extremely lenient here. If this were any other situation, both of you would be suspended. However, Alex has underlying conditions, and we could use you Dalton."
Underlying conditions. So that's all I am to him? What am I kidding, I couldn't even defend myself against a stupid fox. I'm useless as a wolf.
Dalton and I left the principal's office, keeping our distance from each other, and I threw the ice bag in the nearest trash can. There was a bandage on my leg, freshly wrapped since it was perfectly white, no red seeping through. My vision was still a little fuzzy, the pictures on the walls doubling, re-focusing once I squinted hard enough.
"I thought you would put up more of a fight," Dalton said, looking over to me. "Looks like you're not the big strong wolf everyone expects you to be."
"Are you just trying to pick another fight?" I said, rearing my head in his direction, fangs bared.
He rolled his eyes. "Look, if I beat you once, I can do it again." He sighed. "No, I wasn't trying to pick a fight with you, I was just trying to get you to see what Mrs. Carter is doing to you."
"Well it didn't work," I said reaching the end of the hallway and opening the door.
"No, it didn't."
Steven was at the end, walking towards us as we exited. I only got a quick look at him, facing away and leaving the two of them alone. Even though I didn't want to be around him at all, my tail still wagged, and my heart still increased its rhythm. There was no pushing down the feelings for Steven, no matter how stupid they seemed. The truth of the matter was, he was never there. Sure when I tried to kill myself he was at my hospital, but he still didn't actually do anything. He initiated our first kiss and took things to another level.
Even if I did want to love him, his dad wouldn't allow it. I never knew for sure if he was homophobic or not, but something wasn't right about him. He was tall, bulky, brown fur tousled in different directions and claws longer than a normal dog.
"Alex, wait up!" Steven said as his footsteps grew closer and closer.
Don't look at him.
"Alex, come on!" Steven said, tugging at my shirt.
"What do you want?" I growled, stopping in the hallway. Dalton couldn't have been far behind, and I knew if something were to happen, he would've put an end to it.
Steven's eyebrows creased. "Look, I know you're struggling, and I'm sorry if you ever felt like I was never there for you. But I just want you to know that I love you." He smiled, usually a smile that would've sent me over the moon, but it didn't.
"I don't care," I said dryly. Then I took a deep breath. "Steven, it's over."
His smile faltered. "W-what?"
I couldn't tell him it was because of Mrs. Carter, that she was the reason why I needed to break up with Steven. I was always worried about his happiness, that he was doing better, while I neglected my own happiness, my own feelings. "The dog is only going to cause more harm than good," she had said in that voice of hers which was low enough like Jordan's, but high pitched so she presented some authority.
"What do you mean it's over?" he said again, tightening his grip on my shirt.
I pulled his hand off. "It's over," I said as clear as possible. "How do you not get that? I don't want you around anymore, I never want to see you again."
"You're just saying that, right? As a joke, right?" He nervously laughed.
"No, it's not a joke. Goodbye Steven." I began to walk away, but he grabbed my shirt again.
"Just tell me what I did wrong!" Tears filled his eyes, body internalizing what I had just said. "Please! Don't leave me in the dark!"
I wrestled his hand away. "It's your fault that I'm like this!" I shouted. "You're the reason why I hate myself, why I try to kill myself every few months!" I shook my head, rolling my eyes. "I thought you would understand, being a dog and all."
Steven bit his lip, hands shaking at his sides. "I'm sorry! I'll do better, I swear! Just give me a second chance!"
"There are no second chances, it's over. Never speak to me again."
He cried into his hands, ears folded over and tail between his legs. "Don't leave me like this," he pleaded through sobs. "Please, I can't do this without you. I can't live life without you. I know you have your problems and you're going to therapy to help fix them but-" his lips trembled, stuttering his speech, "W-what did I-I do?"
I grabbed his hand, pulling them away from his face and leaning in close. His eyes grew wide as I exposed my fangs. "Leave. Me. Alone." I dug my claws into his arms, not enough to pierce the skin but to get the message across. Then I walked away, his shouts and sobs behind me.
"I love you!" he said behind me which made me stop in my tracks. "I don't care if you hate me, I don't care if you want to kill me, I still love you."
Turning over my shoulder, I said, "I don't."
I'm scared to see the ending, why are we pretending this is something?
A couple hours had passed since I broke up Steven, feeling nothing towards the encounter. Maybe I was just broken beyond repair, probably to the point where no matter how hard I tore away from my friends, I felt nothing. The argument with Jordan? Nothing. The fight with Dalton? Nothing. The meaningless heartbreak? Nothing.
Never be so kind, you forget to be clever.
Mrs. Carter called me into her office, one of her assistants was sent to fetch me. I didn't even know she had an assistant until a snow white rabbit pounded on my dorm room door. She was the same rabbit who had knocked on my door when her friend got eaten. It was an awkward walk to Mrs. Carter's office with her leading me to the already familiar destination.
We sat in silence for a while, Mrs. Carter staring me down with her yellow eyes. They always seemed to unnerve me just a little bit. They were definitely less comforting than Jordan's blue eyes which were her staple feature. But Mrs. Carter's just screamed mystery, like there was something underneath all that yellow fur and maroon business suit. I couldn't help but feel a bit jittery, the principal's words of, "I put Mrs. Carter in charge of that." She was my therapist, the worst she could've done was made me write my name fifty times, or something even more mundane.
"I heard you got into a fight with that red fox, Dalton," she said, tapping a finger to her cheek. "How did it go? The principal didn't really tell me anything." She seemed genuinely intrigued, leaning back in her chair and shifting it side to side, waiting for a response.
I glanced off to the side. "Well, I didn't win, if that's what you're wondering."
She stifled a snicker. "You lost?"
My eyes rolled, stabbing my claws into my palms. I may have been a bit naïve at times, stupid even. But there was one thing I wasn't, an idiot. "Of course I lost," I said, poison dripping from my words. "That asshole beat me to the point where I was knocked out. There was nothing I could do, I felt so powerless."
"Well, he is on the wrestling team. You should've known better before picking a fight with him."
"That's the thing!" I said, standing up from my seat. "I didn't pick the fight, he was the one who started it! So why am I being punished?" I huffed, anger building up inside of me.
Mrs. Carter put up her arms in surrender. "No one said anything about you being punished."
"But the principal said-"
"What the principal doesn't know won't kill him." She added a smile, then it faded away. "But what I don't understand is why they're adding Dalton to the investigation. He's a student, and should focus on school rather than some investigation that has seen no results."
I sat back down in my chair, afraid to ask the question. Everyone had told me their suspicions were on Mrs. Carter, that she was the least likely candidate, which somehow made her the most likely. "So, who do you think did it?" I asked, fearing the response.
She cocked her head. "To be honest, I have no idea. I'm in the dark just as much as you are. If they were a student, they were probably freaking out when the police came to investigation." She waved herself off. "Well, whoever they are, they're very diligent in covering their tracks."
"For what it's worth," I said quickly, almost interrupting her, "I don't think you did it. I know everyone seems to think it was you, but you're so kind and compassionate. I just can't believe any of the things my...friends are saying." I scoffed at the word friends. They weren't my friends anymore, they were just animals clouding in the back of my mind that I didn't need anymore.
"Well," Mrs. Carter said, tapping a finger to her desk, "I do have one suspicion."
My eyes lit up. "Who do you think it was?"
"I probably shouldn't tell you, it would only make everything worse." She looked into the air. "On second thought, it might actually help." She sweeped the things on her desk onto the floor, and I gave her my full, undivided attention. "I believe it was your friend, Jordan Anderson."
"Jordan? No, she would never do something like that."
Mrs. Carter narrowed her eyes. "Looks like she's been keeping secrets from you. Let me ask you this, how do you think her father died?"
"She told me they were in an accident."
Mrs. Carter clicked her tongue. "Now that would be false. Her father was convicted of predation, and was given the death sentence as a result."
I rolled my eyes and slammed my fist onto the desk. "Of course she was lying!"
Mrs. Carter nodded. "Yes, it appears that way. It would only make sense that the daughter of a convicted felon would likely follow in the parents footsteps."
"But...but how? Jordan has never….she never had the…" my voice trailed off, remembering the time in February where we had that small little fight and she told me she was scared because she might've killed the rabbit. "Oh my god," I said, brushing my fingers against my lips. "Jordan...she couldn't have actually done it, right?"
Mrs. Carter leaned back in her chair. "Even if she did do it, there's no proof against anyone. Eventually this case will go cold and the police will leave."
The worst part about everything, was that Jordan lied to me...again. First it was about her and Nathan, and now it was this.
"Typical Jordan!" I shouted, getting up from my seat as it fell over and heading towards the door. "Everything just has to be about her and her alone."
"Where are you going?" Mrs. Carter said, slowly getting up from her chair and walking over to me.
"I'm going to find Jordan," I said, slamming the door behind me.
I needed to find Jordan, I just needed to talk to her, to ask her why she lied to me about her dad. But what was the point? She wasn't my friend, and if she lied about him in the past, I might've not been her friend. Although, the road not taken was looking a lot better now.
My first stop was the audiovisual, knowing that Nathan would've been in there. I may not have been able to take down Dalton, but I could easily break Nathan like a toothpick.
My hand reached the audiovisual room door handle, tearing it off in a fit of rage. Growls escaped my mouth as the room ahead of me flickered to life, hanging lights and dusty air. Just like I had remembered it, and hated it. Nathan was sitting in a chair, ears perking up as his eyes narrowed.
"What are you doing here?" he asked cautiously.
"I'm here for-"
"You're here for Jordan," he said, getting up from his seat. "Sorry to tell you, she's not here."
"Then where is she!" I shouted, standing in the dim spotlight.
"I have no idea where she is. But wherever she is, I'm glad she isn't here."
I'm capable of anything and everything.
Don't make me your enemy.
My body took over like it did during the fight with Dalton, legs moving on their own and heart racing with adrenaline. I grabbed Nathan by the shoulders, slamming him into the grey wall. His body tensed as he hit the wall, his glasses falling off his face and landing on the floor. I crushed them with my foot, holding him in place and growling.
Despite my ferocious appearance, Nathan remained calm, his chest slowly rising and falling. "Where do we go from here?" he said, caressing my cheek. "Are you going to eat me? Toss me around a couple of times?"
"No, this." I readied my fist, swinging it into his stomach.
His eyes shut tight, gritting his teeth together. "Is that all you can do?" he said through gasps of air. "You really are a weak wolf."
"Where is Jordan!" I grabbed his shoulders again, throwing him to the ground. He had to have been blind without his glasses.
He coughed a couple of times, arms sprawled out on the ground. "I'm not telling you," he said, coughing more and breathing heavily. "I'd rather you take your anger out on me than her."
The audiovisual room door swung open, letting in the light of the hallway. Jordan stood in frame, mouth slightly open. I smirked, letting her see her precious Nathan broken on the floor.
"He was looking for you," Nathan said, a smile on his face.
I moved away from Nathan and closer to Jordan. Her composure held steady as I almost towered over her, gritting teeth together to prevent hurting her. "You lied to me," I said, clenching my fists so tight that my claws stabbed into my palms.
"You keep saying that," she said. She may have looked confident, but from the slight tremors in her hand, I could tell she was terrified. "So what did I lie about this time?"
"Your dad."
Jordan creased her eyebrows, mouth slightly open. "My...dad? What about him?"
"You said he died in a car crash!"
"He did die in a car crash." Her eyes glanced behind me and I turned around, Nathan propping himself up on a chair and smiling, his nose bloody. "What did Mrs. Carter tell you?"
"That he was convinced of predation and got the death sentence. How could you keep this from me? How could you not tell me?"
Jordan shook her head, trying to move past me, but I blocked her off. She sighed. "Mrs. Carter is lying to you. Ask her for the reports about it, ask her for any government documents about it. I can guarantee you she won't be able to give you anything because it's a lie!" She pushed past me, running over to Nathan and helping him to his feet. Before she could exit the audiovisual room she gave me one last look. "Can't you see the lies she's telling you? How are you so stupid?" Nathan nodded at her statement, clutching his nose.
"Alex," Nathan said, "I know we aren't the best of friends, and I know you probably hate me right now. But you need to understand something. If Mrs. Carter really was trying to help you, why would she tear you away from your friends?"
"Because all you've done is cause me problems," I said. "She doesn't lie to me, she makes me want to be a better animal, to finally be a wolf and quit pretending to be something I'm not."
"So you think being a wolf is going around and beating up other animals to get information?" Nathan said, sighing. He looked over to Jordan, concern in his eyes. "He may already be too far gone."
Jordan tightened her grip around his hand. "No, I refuse to believe that. She's manipulating him, just like we had suspected. We just...we just have to prove to Steven's dad that Mrs. Carter is the killer."
I scoffed. "And how do you plan to do that? There's no evidence against her."
Nathan removed his hand from his nose, blood dripping onto the floor. "There was one thing left at the crime scene." He bent down and wiped up the blood onto his finger, holding it up as it glistened in the light. "One blood drop was left over, and it wasn't the rabbit's."
"That doesn't mean anything," I said. "It could be anyone's, it could've even been mine."
"Did the rabbit you carried around the school scratch you?" Nathan said. I turned over my arms, the scars small, but there. Nathan nodded his head. "It might've been your blood."
"It doesn't matter!" I shouted, my voice echoing off the walls in the room. "What matters is that both of you lied to me! Even when we were friends, you kept secrets from me. You told me lies and made me think everything was ok!"
"Just shut the fuck up, Alex!" Jordan said, leaving Nathan to the side and getting close to my face. "You want us gone from your life? Fine. You'll never see my face again, you'll never have to talk to me again. So just fuck off!" She pushed me on my chest. "Leave!" She pushed on my chest again, forcing me out the door and closing it, clicking as she locked it.
There was no point pounding on the door, no point in wasting any more energy than I already had. Everyone was a liar, everyone had used me for their own gain, for their own personal accomplishments. They would just put me aside once they were done, just the loner wolf with no friends and no restraint on his mental problems. Well, it was over now. I was in control. I wasn't going to let them walk over me any more.
If this little blood splatter meant that Mrs. Carter would be convicted, then I needed to do everything I could to prove that she wasn't the killer.
But what if she was?
What if she did eat the rabbit?
I had pushed away all of my friends, so there was no more confiding in them anymore. There was no one to talk to, no second opinion. I had put all my trust, all my faith in Mrs. Carter. And I knew she wouldn't fail me. She hasn't failed me before, she always stuck up for me when the time called for it. I just had to trust her that she would do the same thing. And I hoped she trusted me enough to help her remove her name from the suspects list.
I ran out of the halls, tail behind me, knowing exactly where to go. Police officers tried to stop me in the hallways, rushing towards me as I rounded corners and skidded past animals talking at their leisure. Mr. Parker's office was close, located near the gyms and filled with all of the evidence. If I wanted to destroy everything linking Mrs. Carter to the case, it was in his office. No doubt there would be security everywhere. All I needed to do was scout out the area, learn the layout, then sneak in later to destroy everything. But to do that, I would have to distract Mr. Parker, and I knew the perfect truth to tell.
The rest of the officers following at my tail stopped as I reached Mr. Parker's office. He opened it, staring down at me with his tall stature. "What are you doing here?" he asked. I tried to see inside the office, but he stood in the way.
"I want to tell you that Mrs. Carter shouldn't be on the suspect list. I was with her when the rabbit got eaten," I said confidently.
Mr. Parker raised an eyebrow. "No you weren't, you were helping the rabbit to the infirmary."
Fuck.
My brain short circuited, letting lose something I wasn't supposed to say, but something I knew would come in handy. "Steven is gay, we used to date, but I broke up with him."
Mr. Parker stared me down, then shut the door in my face.
Was...was that the right thing to say? Would that...would that distract him enough?
I couldn't get a good view of the office, but I needed to sneak in and see what evidence they had against her. I needed to know, I had to know.
So when nighttime fell, I snuck through the school, making sure to stay within the blind spots of the cameras. It was easier done than said. The school was notorious for its lack of security, despite the number of dogs they had on guard around the school, patrolling the hallways and using flashlights that seemed like spotlights, but really weren't.
The door was locked when I reached it and I took my claw, fiddling with the lock, hearing a satisfying click. I breathed a sigh of relief as the door lightly swung open. The air was cold, if not freezing. Four walls, one exit. I needed to be in and out quick, there was no time to snoop around for anything more.
A couple file drawers were near the desk that could've seen better days. Papers and sticky notes were everywhere, a constant breeze blowing through and making them flap. I pulled open the first file drawer, skimming through the names. None of them said Mrs. Carter...or I guess her name was Jennifer. I went over to the next one, repeating the process explicitly in the J sections. There were noises all around me, but nobody knew a wolf had snuck out.
Another file drawer, no Mrs. Carter.
Then another.
Then another.
The last one yielded results, Mrs. Carter's name in full night vision view. I opened up the file and read the description. It said nothing about her being linked to the murder and I let out a sigh of relief. Then I took another look at the words in dark red pen ink. It appeared to be handwritten, and it read, "DNA matches the blood found at the scene. More evidence is needed to convict Jennifer Carter, but as of right now, she is the prime suspect."
Jackpot.
I took the file, stuffing it in my pocket and sneaking out of the school, back into my dorm and closing the bathroom door behind me. I grabbed the hydrogen peroxide from the cabinet, pouring it into the sink and drenching the papers in it. There were matches in one of the drawers and I took one out, scraping its green tip across the matchbox and throwing it into the chemicals.
Flames erupted, singeing the fur on my nose. I backed away, the flames staying at a constant low level as the files burned and turned to ash. Once the papers were a charcoal black, I turned on the sink, drowning out the flames and flushing the ashes down the toilet.
Mrs. Carter was safe.
I switched off the light, everybody in the dorm room was fast asleep as I laid down, smiling. I was finally feeling happy. For once in my life, for once in my shitty, fucked up life, I felt happy. It almost made me cry, but I didn't want the memory of being happy immortalized by tears. So I pushed them down, breathing in deeply and letting sleep take over.
Nathan isn't in the dorm room.
I shot out of bed, looking around. Dalton and Steven were accounted for, but Nathan was gone. My eyes widened, panic seeping into my body, then remembering that he slept in the audiovisual room for some reason.
Laying my head back onto the pillow made sleep come quick, eyes drifting off and a smile still on my face.
Then my eyes shot open.
What the fuck did I just do?