Cavanaugh was okay with Jane staying in New York for a few more days. The girls went back to their normal routine and tried not to help Maura more than they usually would. They would have wanted but the brunette was sure, that she was the better person and had told them so. The last thing Maura needed was to be watched closely all the time or being treated like a sick person.
Most of the time everything was easy. Jane tried to keep everything as normal as possible and only helped when she felt that Maura really needed it. Like with cooking when Maura wanted to put an entire onion to fry into the pan.
The doc let her help. But there was a moment when she broke out in tears and threw the knife onto the cutting board. Jane had made a nonchalant comment about the onion. But the problem was that Maura had realized what mistake she had been about to make and that she felt ashamed and panicked. Jane understood her desperation. Maura had always functioned and related on her brain. It was scary when her best asset wasn't reliable anymore.
She pulled Maura into her arm and listened to the rambling and the complaints. She felt Maura's pain and helplessness and held her tight until the crying ceased, wondering how the state could worsen so quickly.
Fear gripped her own heart when she thought about what it could be. But she couldn't show it. She could only hold Maura's hand through it. Please let it be something curable she silently prayed to god, while their bodies were pressed together in the kitchen.
Sunday afternoon they were sitting on the couch with Maura reading her medical Journal and Jane watching TV when Maura dropped the paper. The brunette glanced down into her lap, where Maura's head was resting and found Maura trying to form some words. But nothing was audible.
Shocked she grabbed for her phone and dialed 911 while the girls ran to fetch wet dishtowels. It proved to be good that Maura had insisted on them taking first aid classes because everybody knew what to do.
Lay her on the ground, bring her into a sideway position, check if she was breathing….. It seemed to take forever until the paramedics arrived.
Jane glanced at the kids. Everybody was shocked. And she knew that she had to be strong for her family now. Hence, she swallowed down her fear, organizing and taking care of things.
"You should stay at home. I'm going to drive with the paramedics to the hospital." She tried to reason with three stubborn teenagers.
"We want to come!" Julia spoke up decisively.
"They are going to do a lot of exams. You will only be sitting around in the waiting area." Jane replied.
As it was time to bring Maura to the paramedics van, they all agreed on a compromise. Jane would drive with the paramedics and Maura. Amanda and Will were going to stay at home while Sophie and Julia would follow the van in Maura's Prius to the hospital. They had both already taken their driver's license and it was Julia who climbed behind the wheel.
R&I
The exams seemed to take forever. Jane was pacing the floor of the waiting are which was crowded this day. Lots of emergencies kept the doctors busy. There were couples holding hands and people staring at the huge screen on the wall with a blank mind.
"Here." Julia gently said, handing Jane a cup of steaming coffee. Her daughter was calm and composed as she noticed.
"Thank you, baby." She mumbled and took a sip while Julia padded over to Sophie who was belonging to the blank staring group. She watched her putting an arm around her sister.
"Mrs. Rizzoli-Isles." A clear voice announced suddenly and when Jane turned a gray-haired doctor was scanning the room. "That's me." She stated and followed him into one of the rooms were doubtlessly many tears had already been shed on bad news.
Swallowing hard she sat down to a chair. It was evening by now and despite not having eaten for hours she wasn't hungry. Her stomach closed in nervousness when the tired eyes of the doctor came to rest on her.
He opened some files by typing Maura's name into his computer and turned the screen for her to see. At first, she didn't recognize what she was looking at but finally realized that she was staring at Maura's brain. This wasn't good. Not good at all.
"Your wife had a seizure this afternoon." He began slowly, making sure that Jane understood. "Caused by a tumor in her brain." Jane swallowed hard while staring at the area pointed out by the doctor. It looked as if the tumor was deep inside of Maura's brain.
"Oh god." She whispered and he gave her a crooked smile. "I know that it looks horrible and this diagnosis must be a shock. But some of these are operable. She's already at the oncology department where a specialist is checking for ways to treat it." He told her reassuringly but Jane only thought about the words he had used: treatable, not curable.
"Are you okay? Do you need some fresh air and a break?" The doctor asked when seeing her pale face. But she only shook her head. "No, go on please." She said and he shrugged. "You better talk to her new doctor anyways." He explained the way to the oncology department and advised her to ask for Maura at the reception.
Leaving the room, she wondered how to break the news to the girl. Hell, she couldn't even wrap her mind around it, how could they? She found them in the waiting area where she had left them and slowly knelt in front of them.
Each of her arms rested on each girl's shoulder when she tried to catch their eyes and gave a small smile. "They found a tumor in her brain. But the doc said that they are already for the best treatment." She was simple and honest because she knew that the girls would rather have it that way.
She helped them up and they walked in silence to the elevators.
At the reception of the oncology department Jane asked for her wife. The nurse, which was the motherly type, informed them about the room number and Jane and the girls continued their way deeper into the hospital.
When they arrived, they found Maura laying in her bed, staring to the ceiling. Jane knocked and walked in. "Hey baby." She put on a smile and hugged Maura. The doc was irresponsive. "She needed some strong medication." The nurse next to the bed informed them and explained Maura's reaction. "It will take some time to wear off." She added.
Jane held back her tears as she sat to the edge of the bed and took one of Maura's hands between hers. The hand of her wife was cold which made Jane only want to cry more.
She bent down to kiss the blonde's cheeks. When she turned, she saw Julia and Sophie quickly wiping away some tears. "You can go home. I have it." Jane gently said but both only shook their head in no.
None of them knew for how long they had been sitting there until a doctor arrived and asked to talk to Jane. By now it was almost midnight and it was dark outside. Jane wondered about the doc's enthusiasm to stay and work on Maura's treatment until he explained that he had gone to med school with her. He looked sad when opening the files in front of him.
"Maura always loved challenges when we were at university." He opened the talk. "Guess she hasn't lost it." He gave Jane another smile. The brunette nodded. "No, she still loves them. Otherwise, she probably wouldn't be married to me." Half serious half joking. The doc understood her emotions and went on. "This tumor is a challenge because of its position. We have removed worse though." Hope, Jane thought.
"I suggest that we start with some chemotherapy to make it shrink or at least prevent it from growing. A weekly brain scan will tell us how it works. If it does, I see good chances to remove it completely." He stated.
"But there is no guarantee?" Jane asked, needing to hear that it was going to be okay.
He glanced at her for a long time before speaking up again. "There is no guarantee in life. But i dare to say that the chance that she will life is higher than the chance that this brain tumor will kill her. And as long as I have known her, she has mastered every challenge. Just keep thinking positive." Jane thought about his words and agreed.
"Yeah, my Maura is a fighter!" she finally said, and he smiled again. "She is."
Then Jane told him that they had intended to move to Boston. Her mind was already reversing the decision when he replied that it would be a good decision because they had an excellent oncology department and surgeons at mass general.
They ended their talk by deciding to move Maura as soon as possible to mass general. According to the doctor it would be within the next two or three days. He suggested to talk to a befriended doctor to give him the heads up so that they could prepare the chemotherapy.
With everything being clear and organized Jane began to feel a bit better. Sure that Maura was in good hands took a little bit of burden from her shoulders. She would need the energy to organize the rest of the move and the end of the schoolyear of the girls.