A/N: As this turned into an 11k chapter, you'll see why I had to split it from the first part. I honestly can't believe I made it here, as there are a couple scenes in this chapter that I wrote way back in November 2019. I can only hope that this conclusion to the S4-era story arc meets your expectations. Thank you to the few people who give me feedback here on . Your kind words of encouragement and investment in this story means the world to me. I'm being completely serious when I say writing this fic, and the wonderful response to it, helped me survive the insanity of the past year.
TW - there is a brief moment of Implied/Referenced Underage Sex.
1997
March 14. It was a Friday night at the Leery's house, and Joey walked out of their kitchen carrying her cup of soda. Dawson had asked his parents to make themselves scarce, and so Mitch and Gail announced they were going to watch TV upstairs in their room.
"We don't want to force you to hang around us grownups at your party," Mrs. Leery told them quite loudly while sharing a knowing smile with Mr. Leery as they started going up the stairs.
Joey rolled her eyes and laughed to herself as she walked into the living room. Dawson had turned fourteen years old today, and the room was filled with several kids from their eighth grade class. They'd already had their full of pizza, sat through the gift opening portion of the party, and had all eaten a piece of birthday cake. Once his parents disappeared, he went around turning off most of the lights while Ashley Hares and Ashley Granger started moving the furniture back. They created a large open space in the room, and a few candles became their only source of light apart from what filtered in from the brightly-lit kitchen.
"What are you guys doing?" she asked the group as some of them started to sit on the floor.
"We're gonna play Spin the Bottle," Dawson answered, and then shared a grin with their classmate, Meghan Arliss.
"And if you kiss the same person three times, then it's Seven Minutes in Heaven," Meghan said, flipping her long blond hair over her shoulder.
"We've picked the hall closet over there," Chris Wolfe added, and then smiled. At first, Joey had been surprised and a little annoyed he was even here, but she had to admit he was being kind of nice tonight. The same was true of Todd Bloom, Chris's best friend, who was sitting next to him on the floor.
Joey's stomach immediately flipped. Shouldn't kisses be special? Shouldn't they mean something? And the thought of kissing someone with a room full of people watching… or even worse, ending up stuck in the hall closet with one of these boys. "I don't think so."
"Oh, come on," Peter Masik said. "You have to play with us!"
Being forced to kiss someone in front of them all would be more painful than when she fell off his backyard swing and broke her arm in the third grade. "I don't think it's a good idea, Petey," she replied, shaking her head, feeling uncomfortable.
Abby Morgan laughed derisively and rolled her eyes like the mean girl she was. "Sounds like you're scared, Joey. Why would you be scared? What, haven't you ever been kissed before? Fourteen, and never kissed anyone? That's just sad."
She stared, her face hard, and still couldn't believe this girl had been invited to Dawson's party. When she'd confronted him about it earlier, he told her that his mom had run into Mrs. Morgan downtown and felt compelled to extend the invitation. He didn't like that the girl was here anymore than she did.
"You're such a bitch, Abby," she snapped.
"Takes one to know one."
"Maybe we should play something else instead."
Joey turned to see Pacey sitting in one of the armchairs, not having moved down to sit on the floor yet. The way he was smiling, he looked so gorgeous that she stopped breathing for a second. She felt her cheeks flush red hot, and inwardly scolded herself for having such a reaction. It was just Pacey Witter, for crying out loud, but he really was so very handsome—too handsome for his own good.
"Why?" Abby asked. "It's not like you're a stranger to sucking face. You can't possibly be opposed to Spin the Bottle."
The other kids in the room snickered, and Joey clenched her teeth. Dawson was scowling. She knew her best friend harbored serious jealousy when it came to Pacey's newfound success at getting girls—mostly ninth graders—to sneak off and let him kiss them behind the bleachers in the school gym. He'd had a growth spurt and his voice was getting deeper and his brown hair had grown longish and curly, and he was getting more attention than he'd ever had before. She knew Dawson hated it. And to her own annoyance, Pacey had honestly become the cutest boy in their whole class.
Early into the new year, shortly after his own fourteenth birthday, rumors about his activities behind the gym bleachers had started flying, and then yesterday afternoon Abby Morgan stopped her in the hallway to tell her that Justine Sherman had let Pacey finger her in the girls' bathroom. Furious and inexplicably hurt, Joey had refused to believe it.
"I'm not opposed, but unlike the rest of us, it's not a game Potter here would ever want to play. So, let's do something else."
"What is that supposed to mean?" she replied, feeling defensive.
Pacey gazed at her, fighting a grin. "Well, Jo, it means you're a prude."
Their classmates chuckled, even Dawson. Is that why she was never one of the girls he tried to take behind the bleachers, she thought, desperately trying to suppress the jealous feelings threatening to rise up. He thought she was a prude?
"No, I'm not."
"Yeah? Well, if you're not a prude, then you'd have no problem playing Spin the Bottle, right?"
She knew Pacey was taunting her, but the jealousy and anger that had risen up out of nowhere made her take the bait. "Fine, I'll play."
A wide smile spread across Pacey's face, his eyes twinkling as his gaze locked with hers. A strange fluttering erupted inside her stomach.
Then they all sat on the floor and placed an empty Coca-Cola bottle in the middle. From her spot between Dawson and Joey, Meghan took the first turn. The bottle spun, and Joey could see that the girl obviously wanted it to land on Pacey. Her stomach clenched, and her whole body grew taut.
The bottle landed on Dawson instead, and she let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Frowning, Joey watched the blonde smile, lean over, and kiss him. Dawson looked like he was on cloud nine. Why didn't any of the boys ever look at her the way they looked at Meghan?
Then it was Dawson's turn to spin, and for some reason, Joey hoped it wouldn't land on her. A small part of her wanted Dawson to kiss her, to stop drooling over Meghan, and actually look at her like a girl for once, but to kiss her in front of other people? In front of Pacey? She dreaded it with every fiber of her being.
When the bottle slowed, Joey saw it was going to land on her. To her dismay, she also saw Dawson had come to the same conclusion, and she watched the obvious disappointment cloud over his face. It made her want to run from the room. However, the nose of the bottle ended up landing directly in the middle between her and Meghan.
"Well, well, well… looks like you're gonna have to make a choice," Abby told Dawson provokingly.
"Yeah, I guess so," he said, before leaning over and kissing Meghan without hesitation. The girl started giggling. "One more time, and we get seven minutes in heaven."
"That's the idea," she grinned at him, before sneaking an obvious glance Pacey's way. He didn't seem to notice.
Joey fought hard not to roll her eyes and failed.
When it was Ashley Granger's turn, the bottle landed on Pacey. She blushed pink, but clearly looked very happy. He gave her a friendly smile, and then leaned over and let her kiss him. Joey couldn't help the pang of jealousy as she watched the kiss, and couldn't stop herself from wondering what it would be like to be in Ashley's place. She also couldn't help that she kept staring at his hands, his long fingers, and was trying very hard to push thoughts of Justine Sherman from her mind. As Ashley pulled out of the kiss, Joey furiously shoved down the confusing mixture of jealousy and longing that had started to well up inside her.
Then it was Pacey's turn to spin. As he reached for the bottle, his eyes met hers for a brief moment, and her heart skipped a beat. He sent it spinning fast on the floor. Her heart began to race, and her breathing became shallow. Did she actually want Pacey to kiss her? No, she couldn't possibly! That was insane.
But there was no doubt he was good looking. Still, most of the time she didn't know how she felt about him. Sometimes he was such a jerk to her. Other times he acted like she was his best friend in the whole world. She often got the sense that he told her stuff he'd never tell Dawson, and that he relied on her, especially those nights he came knocking on her window and asking to sleep on her bedroom floor. There were moments when it seemed as though he really did care about her.
But things were starting to change. What if what Abby had said about him was true? Was he really that reckless and irresponsible when it came to girls? That careless? And did that mean Bessie was right when she'd once called him a heartbreaker? How could she let herself get drawn in like an idiot and fall for someone like that? What would that mean for the way her life could eventually end up? She refused to end up like her mom. If she ever fell in love and got married when she grew up, then it'd be someone who would never be reckless and irresponsible with her heart. Someone who would never break it.
Pacey sat directly across from her in the circle, between the two Ashleys, but she refused to look up at him, keeping her eyes on the bottle. When it started slowing, Joey realized it was going to land on her. Her heart started pounding inside her chest. Sure enough, it stopped and the nose of the Coca-Cola bottle pointed in her clear direction.
She didn't want to look at Pacey and see disappointment in his face. Or even worse, disgust. As others around the circle whistled and whooped and giggled, Joey finally looked up and their eyes met.
But she didn't see disappointment or disgust there. Far from it.
He was smiling, and looked like an excited child who'd just been told Santa Clause was real. His blue eyes sparkled. Yet as he started to move towards her on his knees, she saw a flicker of fear cross his face, and she knew he was nervous. He looked as nervous as she felt. That didn't make much sense to her, as he'd probably kissed at least six or seven girls by now. Maybe more. And it wasn't like kissing the ugly girl who lived on the wrong side of the creek was something he actually wanted to do. Was it?
She started to panic. Shouldn't she protest this? This was Pacey Witter, coming towards her with the intention to give her a kiss. She should refuse, stop him, push him away, get up and leave. Shouldn't she?
But Joey couldn't think straight—not when he was so close, not when he was looking at her like that, like no one had ever looked at her before. He looked at her as if she was the only thing he could see. Were there even other people in the room? She couldn't see or hear them. It was like they'd disappeared. The way Pacey looked at her like he already held her in his grasp… she couldn't look away.
It hadn't even happened yet, and Joey already wondered what would happen if he kissed her again, if he kissed her three times, if they ended up alone in the closet for seven minutes. Wondered if he'd want to touch her the same way he'd supposedly touched Justine Sherman. Her breath was becoming ragged. She could feel her heartbeat in her ears. God, did she want him to? No, of course not! How could she? That was crazy. It was perverted. But something strange was happening in her belly. She suddenly felt hot all over.
His face was moving closer, his sparkling eyes still fixed right on hers. She could smell his boyish scent. She could feel the heat radiating off his body, or was it coming from hers?
She lowered her gaze and stared at his mouth. Any second now, she'd feel his lips touch hers. Her hands curled into tight fists. Her mouth went dry and she swallowed.
Even as her mind was putting up a fight, shouting with alarm, begging her to stop him, something inside her body was betraying her. She felt something shift inside. Open up. It felt like an answer to a question she didn't know how to ask—a question she didn't want to ask.
Her lips parted, and as if her body had a will of its own, Joey leaned forward. She wanted him to kiss her. She did. She knew it. Even with no real experience, she knew it. She knew it in the pit of her stomach. Knew it in her bones. In her blood. She wanted it. She wanted him. She wanted Pacey.
Then he stopped moving. Confused, Joey looked up from his lips to meet his eyes. He gave her a strangely pained look, and then his face contorted into an expression that made it clear he couldn't stand the sight of her. He stuck his finger in his mouth and pretended to puke. She gasped, horrified, as everyone else in the circle started laughing, including Dawson, who seemed to laugh the loudest.
Shocked and humiliated, hurt and angry tears began welling up in her eyes, blinding her to the fact that Pacey alone was not laughing. As the tears escaped the corners of her eyes, she stood up and hurried away from their laughter, locking herself inside the hallway bathroom. Then she lowered herself to the floor. Sitting with her back against the door, she hugged her knees.
She wasn't crying over the humiliation of their laughter. She wasn't even crying because Pacey had refused to kiss her. She was suddenly crying for the people she loved and lost, for the pain she was in every day. She wanted to go home and find her parents there. She wanted her daddy to get mad and yell at her for playing Spin the Bottle. She wanted her mom to hold her and tell her everything would be all right.
The only people in the world who'd really loved her were gone, and now no one did. No one loved her, or wanted her, and if what had just happened in Dawson's living room was any sign of what the future would look like, no one ever would. Who would ever want a poor tomboy with a dead mother and a father in prison?
There was a knock. "Joey?" Pacey said quietly through the door.
"Go away," she replied tearfully, her voice thick with emotion.
"Jo, I'm sorry. Please come out. Come back to the game. We all want you to come back."
She listened as more whistles and laughter came from the living room. It was obvious no one cared that she was no longer participating. "I don't want to play anymore."
"Okay, you don't have to. At least come out of the bathroom. Please? Look, I didn't mean it. It was a stupid joke, and I wish I could take it back. I never wanted to hurt your feelings. I'm really sorry."
"Please just go away, Pacey."
"I'm not going away until you come out." There was a pause. "If I promise to kiss you, will you come out of there?" he asked teasingly.
She shook her head and stared up at the ceiling. Then she heard what sounded like him sitting down on the floor outside the door. He kept talking, telling her one dumb joke after another, until her tears subsided and she was smiling in spite of herself.
"Did the idea of kissing me really make you want to puke?"
"What? Jo, I told you. I was just kidding around. Why would it make me want to puke? You're the prettiest girl here."
The prettiest? Yeah, right. Now she knew he was teasing her.
"Well… besides Mrs. Leery," he chuckled.
Rolling her eyes, with a heavy sigh Joey got up off the bathroom floor and opened the door. Pacey stood there, smiling. His eyes were soft and warm, his face kind. She averted her gaze. "I think I'm just gonna go home," she said.
"All right," he said, placing his hand on her arm and gently coaxing her out from the bathroom doorway. "I borrowed my dad's old truck. I'll drive you."
"Don't you mean stole?" she replied accusingly. "You're not old enough to drive, Pacey."
"That doesn't mean I don't know how." He paused and tilted his head, shrugging his shoulders and gesturing vaguely with his hands. "Well… I got the basics down, anyway. Jo, I can at least get you to the other side of the creek."
She shook her head, frowning, and suddenly felt like crying again. Why couldn't Pacey just be responsible and follow the rules like Dawson?
"I'll get you there in one piece, I promise. Don't you trust me, Potter?"
No, she didn't. She sighed in defeat, and shrugged.
"Come on, let me take you home."
Joey did arrive at her house in one piece, as promised. Pacey followed her to the back porch. Unable to help herself, dying to know the truth, but at the same time dreading it, she turned around and wanted to ask the burning question. Maybe it was best if she worked up to it. "Do you wish Justine Sherman had been at the party?"
"Justine Sherman? The girl who called me 'Pacey Pukey' for the last half of sixth grade?" He scoffed.
"The girl you had a huge crush on," she pointed out. "Yes, her."
"Not really. Why?"
She swallowed, hesitating, and then went for it, unsure whether or not she even wanted to know. "Did… did something perverted happen between you and Justine last week?"
His expression immediately hardened. "Who told you that? Abby Morgan? She needs to keep her big fat mouth shut."
"So, it is true," she said, her face falling, her heart sinking within her.
"What? No!" His eyes went wide. "No, it's not true. Joey, I swear it's not. Abby's just playing her stupid games. I guess… something happened with Justine and a boy at school, and Abby's trying to find out who it is. I've never… done that before. I promise I haven't. I mean, not that I, you know, don't…" His voice trailed off.
She stared at him, that strange heat rising inside her as her stomach flipped. His face was burning red, and he looked embarrassed. "And the girls you pull behind the bleachers?" she sneered, again trying to fight back the stupid, jealous feelings. "I suppose that isn't true either?"
Now he looked annoyed. "Try the other way around, Jo."
Comprehension dawned and she let his words sink in. "Well… why do you let them?"
"Why not?" Pacey shrugged.
"But aren't these girls just using you? Do they even care about you?"
He frowned a moment, but then a teasing smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Maybe I'm just having a little fun while I wait for the day that you'll pull me behind the bleachers, Potter."
She scowled, but images of her and Pacey kissing behind the bleachers filled her with warmth and made her stomach tie into knots, which then only made her angry. "I don't know where you get your delusions, but you'll be waiting until hell freezes over," she spat, and turned to walk up the steps to the porch.
"Prude!" he shouted at her as she opened the door.
"Pervert!"
Joey then slammed the door on Pacey's cute smirking face and his perfect blue eyes and brown curls, stormed to her room, threw herself on her bed, and wept confused, angry tears.
2001
June 10. While everyone's attention was on the Capeside High band, in the back row, Pacey quietly removed his cap and gown, and placed them on the grass in front of his seat. He sat there a moment, closing his eyes as the warm sun beat down on him. He really did it. He graduated. He didn't flunk out, or drop out. A feeling of self-satisfaction, accomplishment, rose up inside him.
Opening his eyes, he took one last look at Joey seated on the stage. His throat tightened with emotion as he thought of all she had accomplished herself. The hurdles she'd had to overcome just to get on that stage. To earn her spot as salutatorian. He'd never been prouder. And now she was going to enter a whole new world, and rub shoulders with the academic elite at Worthington. She'd soon be so far out of his league that he could become twice the man he was and still not be half good enough for her.
But he hoped that he would see her again, that this wasn't the end. He wanted nothing more than to return as planned, and resume his life with her in Boston. He could only hope and pray that after a summer spent apart, she would still want the same thing. He didn't know what would become of him if she didn't. To know her and love her, and to be loved by her, was one thing, something he would forever be grateful for; to lose her would be a nightmare of unanswered questions and fear.
As the high school band enthusiastically played the theme to Star Trek, Pacey stood up from his seat and walked over to the bleachers where his sisters were sitting. Gretchen and Amy, each taking one of his nephews by the hand, stepped out of their row and down the stairs to meet him. His sisters wore sorrowful looks. He had no idea where his mother had gone. He didn't care.
Together they walked away from the ceremony.
In the front passenger seat of Amy's rental car, Pacey gazed out the window as she drove them away from the high school. They traveled down Main Street, heading in the direction that would lead them out of town and towards the highway. Suddenly they were driving right by Joey's mural. His mouth fell open as he stared.
The plea he'd desperately painted last year as his last-ditch effort to win Joey's love was smack dab in the center in large red letters—ASK ME TO STAY. The colorful Key West seascape she'd painted emblazoned the wall all around his message, a tribute to the magical summer they had spent together. She'd gifted it to him on his birthday. He remembered being blown away by it. And he remembered the vow he'd made to never give her up, not for anyone, or anything.
He sure as hell wasn't going to give her up just for Dawson Leery to try to take his place. Fate, soulmates, destiny, magic… his head was in the damn clouds. Pacey was nothing if not a realist, and he knew Joey was one at heart. As much as Dawson had tried to turn her into a dreamer, an idealist, she understood the way the world actually worked. Dawson was too privileged, too sheltered, to see things as they are.
The mural once again flashed in front of Pacey's eyes. He and Joey made their own destiny. Their lives were in their own hands.
"Fate, my ass," he muttered under his breath.
His sister glanced at him with knitted brows. "Huh?"
"Amy, you gotta turn around."
"What? Why?"
"I need to make a stop before we leave town."
Gretchen leaned forward from the back seat. "Did you leave something behind at the beach house?"
He shook his head as his sister slowed down. "No. We're not going back to the house."
"Where do you need to stop?"
"The Potter B&B."
Amy pulled off to the side of the street, banged a Uey, and then they were heading back towards the creek. When they got to the house and pulled in the drive, Pacey stepped out of the car, walked around the house to Joey's open bedroom window, and climbed inside. As he looked down at her desk, he smiled.
An hour and a half after departing Joey's house, they arrived at Logan Airport. Amy pulled up to the curb outside Terminal C. She put the car into park and popped the trunk, but didn't shut the engine off. Pacey walked around to the back of the rental to get his duffel bag out. Gretchen got out of the car, along with their older sister and her two boys.
Amy then stepped forward and pulled him into a tight hug. Pacey was not in a mood capable of refusing a hug. He squeezed a little tighter, grateful to be the huggee instead of the hugger for a change. And he felt grateful to have a big sister like her, to have gotten to know her better these past few months, and that she no longer felt like a stranger who breezed in and out of his life around the holidays. Their age difference didn't seem as great and insurmountable as it had when he was eight and she was twenty.
"I'm glad I was able to come to your graduation, for what it's worth," she said as she pulled out of the hug. "And I swear, you get more handsome every time I see you."
"Doesn't he?" Gretchen said.
"Hey, I look like a mutt standing next to sisters as pretty as you. I'm sure everyone in Capeside questions if we're really related."
"Oh, stop it," Amy laughed. "Well, have a safe flight and a safe summer, but have fun, and come back in one piece."
"Thank you. I'm sure I will."
She reached up to affectionately pat his cheek. "You know you'll always have a home with me, right? North Carolina's not so bad, ya know. And we're in Wilmington. I know you need to be near the water. It's right on the ocean, Pace."
He laughed breathlessly and smiled. "I know, and I appreciate that. And, well… hey, if Joey ever decides she wants to live in Wilmington, then I'm there. Wherever she is, that's where I'm gonna be."
Amy returned his smile and nodded her understanding. After giving her one last hug, he walked with Gretchen inside the airport. After checking in and getting his boarding pass, he and his sister walked through the terminal to Gate C36.
"Let's hope they don't lose your bag," Gretchen said when they reached the gate.
"It's a direct flight. I'm sure it'll be fine."
Smiling, he then pulled her into a huge hug.
"Hey! What's this?" she laughed.
"I'm really glad you came home this year, Gretchen."
"Sure, you are. You got a sweet beach house out of the deal."
He chuckled. "Yeah, I did. But it would not have been the same if it wasn't for you. So, I just want you to know that, you know, as your little brother… I know you've always been there for me. Since we were kids, you were always my number one ally."
"I just wish I could've done more for you. Maybe I should've—"
"There was nothing you could've done to make things any different," he assured her. "But I know it would've been even worse without you. You helped me survive living in that house… well, if survive is even the right word. I'm not sure I did."
Her expression saddened and she wrapped her arms around him in another hug.
"I love you, Gretchen," he said quietly.
"I love you, too, Pace." She let go of him and laughed. "And even better than that—I mean, all familial obligations aside—I actually like you."
He smiled. "Well, you're not so bad yourself. You're actually, uh… the best big sister a guy could ever hope for."
"Yeah, I know. I've been telling you that for years." She glanced at the gate where other travelers were sitting down with their friends or families. "Do you want me to stay until you board?"
"No. Besides, you can't leave Amy sitting out there on the curb that long."
His sister laughed. "Oh, right. I forgot about her."
Rolling his eyes, he shook his head and smiled. "Bye, Gretchen. I'll see you in a couple months or so."
"I'm gonna find us a kick-ass apartment."
"Okay, I trust your judgment. I mean, hey, you were right about the beach house, weren't you?"
"Yes, I was."
He shoved his hands in his pockets and felt the Nokia phone Joey had gotten him. "Oh, once I get the hang of the new cell phone I got, I'll give you a call. Not that I've turned it on or anything, but it's nice to know I have it and can use it when I need to. I left the number on the notepad in the kitchen, and if I ever figure out how to set up the voicemail and everything, then you can leave me a message."
"It's about time you entered the twenty-first century, Pace. Now all we gotta do is get you an email address."
"Don't push it, Gretch."
She laughed and they hugged one more time, saying one last goodbye. Then he watched her go. Once she was out of sight, Pacey walked over to sit down in one of the empty chairs at his gate. He glanced at his watch. His flight was scheduled to leave in an hour, and the signage on the wall told him the flight would be on time.
He hoped Joey wouldn't be too upset when she realized that he had gone, and felt somewhat relieved there would be no emotional goodbye scene in the airport. He hated to see her upset; when she cried it was like little knives cutting away at his insides, and he felt big and helpless. Leaving her was hard enough already.
Standing in line with her classmates, Joey approached the stage. She watched Dawson and Jen get handed their diplomas, and then Andie and Jack. Soon her own name was called by Principal Peskin. She could hear Bessie and Bodie's cheers above the general din of the audience. She walked on stage and shook Mr. Vantine's hand as she was given her diploma. She paused for her picture to be taken, and then she walked off as the principal called Jason Powell to the stage.
As she made her way to her seat in the audience behind Jack and Andie, she gazed at the empty back row. She was so anxious to get out of there, she felt like she was going to jump out of her skin. Finally, she heard Mr. Peskin call Cassandra Whitman, and then once she was handed her diploma, he called Chris Wolfe to the stage. Why hadn't he called Pacey's name? He'd graduated. She knew he had.
The principal gave a few closing remarks, and then the graduation ceremony ended. The senior class tossed their caps into the air. They were free.
Joey then rushed back towards the stage, Jen and Andie coming with her. "Principal Peskin!" she called out.
He smiled and walked towards her. "Yes, Miss Potter?" He glanced at her friends and gave them a polite nod.
"Why wasn't Pacey's name called? He graduated, didn't he? He passed all his classes?"
His lips pursed into a thin line and he couldn't quite meet her eye. "Yes, yes, of course he did. Well… some of us, including the school board and Sheriff and Mrs. Witter, felt that it would be in Pacey's best interests not to draw the audience's attention to… the events of this past week and put him in the spotlight, so to speak. And that it would be best not to alert the other families in attendance—and not to mention the media—that a student convicted of drug crimes was here sitting among their children."
"What?!" Andie blurted.
Joey's face fell. Her throat tightened. No wonder Pacey bailed. "You… you wouldn't let him walk? Mr. Peskin, that is so unfair!"
"Mr. Witter was given his diploma before the ceremony, Miss Potter. There's nothing to worry about," he assured her, but she could only shake her head, speechless. "He's a graduate of Capeside High School, which is an accomplishment he can be proud of. Anyway, there are some people here that I really should speak to. Good luck with everything. We're rooting for you." He glanced at her friends again. "For all of you."
She scowled at his departing back. "Jesus, Pacey can't catch a break," Jen said to her.
Her heart breaking for Pacey, Joey turned to walk off towards her family in the stands. She didn't know what to do, if she should leave and go after him, or not. She'd never make it to the airport in time, and she supposed he'd wanted to avoid an emotional goodbye at the airport. But to just up and leave without telling her? That wasn't like him.
But then again, maybe it was. Last year, he hadn't told her he was going to leave town and sail to Key West for the summer. She didn't find out until the day before he planned to go, and Jack had been the one to tell her that he was leaving. She remembered ambushing Pacey as he walked out of that shop downtown, demanding to know why he was going to just leave without saying goodbye.
And technically he had kept his promise. She'd made him promise not to say goodbye, and he didn't. He said, "See ya, Joey."
She was still frowning when she reached Bessie and Bodie, still unsure what to do. Would Pacey want her running after him to the airport when he purposefully avoided that kind of goodbye scene? She removed her graduation gown and gave it to her sister.
"I'm surprised it's only just past one-thirty. Usually, these things go on and on and on," her sister said as she took the gown.
Joey shrugged. "It was basically just our two speeches, some music, and the diplomas."
"They didn't call Pacey's name," Bessie then remarked, eyeing her, as she began folding the blue robe.
She closed her eyes, and sighed, her face falling. "I know."
Bodie looked at her with furrowed brows as he bounced Alexander in his arms. "What happened?"
"Well, they gave him his diploma before—"
"Joey! Joey!"
She turned to see Dawson, Jack, Jen, and Andie hurrying towards her, grinning like fools. "What?" she asked them as they reached her.
"Karma," Jack replied, smirking, his eyes glinting mischievously.
Realization dawned. "Drue?" she said quietly, her brows arching as she turned to meet Dawson's gaze. He grinned and nodded.
"Come on, let's go," Andie giggled, grabbing her by the hand.
The five friends hurried to the parking lot. When they reached Dawson's SUV, he opened his trunk, and took out a gallon of bleach and a funnel. Then he led them to where Drue's brand new, shiny red Porsche Boxster was parked nearby. While Andie and Jen kept on the lookout, Dawson opened the fuel door and removed the gas cap.
After Jack unscrewed the lid on the bleach, he handed the bottle to Joey. "Would you like to do the honors?" he said before inserting the funnel into the car.
"I'd love to." She snatched the gallon jug of bleach from his hand, and then emptied it into Drue's gas tank.
"Are you sure this is going to work?" Jen asked.
"Yeah," Jack said excitedly. "It's gotta work. I've seen it on TV."
"His engine will probably be ruined…"
Andie scoffed. "It's what he deserves."
Despite Joey's confidence in the damage now done to Drue's Porsche, he would forever be on her list of people she hoped Karma would exact swift and painful retribution on for the rest of his miserable life. The prank accomplished, she began walking away from her laughing friends, and quickly back towards the school, where her sister and Bodie were undoubtedly still mingling with the other families.
She wanted to leave. She was still debating what to do about Pacey. Should she go to the airport? Should she just wait for him to call her once he landed? Or should she be the one to call him later on the cell phone she'd gotten him? Would he even have it turned on? She hoped it would work in the Bahamas.
"Joey!"
The voice pulled her from her reverie. She turned and saw Dawson moving quickly to catch up with her. She glanced over her shoulder, and saw Jen walking beside Jack and Andie. They were smiling and talking.
"Joey, there's something I haven't told anybody yet."
"Why, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Actually, for the first time in a long time, I can honestly say that there is nothing wrong. So… I'm going to defer USC by a year. It's… it's just that right now, with the way things are turning out, I can't imagine being happier anywhere else than right here in Capeside with you, and then, you know, in Boston."
She stopped walking and gaped at him. "Dawson, why in the world would you want to defer film school? Take a gap year? For what?"
"I decided that I want to be here for a while before I go out to the west coast."
"I don't understand. Hang around Capeside all summer, and then go to Boston… to do what?"
"Well… in the letter to USC's director of admissions, the official reason is to make a movie with Mr. Brooks' money. But honestly, it's to be with you, Joey. I mean, it's perfect, right? We'll get to see each other all the time. We won't have to say goodbye yet."
Her stomach clenched. She did not like the turn the conversation had suddenly taken. Her chest tightened with anxiety. Then Jen, Jack, and Andie approached, and with one pointed look, they got her message and kept right on walking towards the school.
Dawson continued once their friends were out of earshot. "I know I've always been the idealist, Joey. I've always believed in fate and magic, but you…" He frowned sadly. "I mean, how could you believe in magic? Your mom died when you were thirteen. You probably hoped for… for magic, a miracle to make it all better. It never came, because, you know, your father couldn't make your life better, and only made it worse. And then there's Pacey. Well, any magic you might've thought was there… that ran out, didn't it?"
She stood there, stunned into silence, unable to speak. What was happening right now? While a small voice in the back of her head thought Dawson had some nerve even talking about her dad, that wasn't the comment that had twisted her stomach into knots of fear.
Why did he say that about Pacey?
"But, uh, then there's me. Joey, I'm proof that someone out there is always thinking of you, always thinking about what's best for you… and for us. Dawson and Joey. It's pure magic. It's fate. I know it to the depths of my soul. I know you must feel it, too. I mean, why else would you have made that choice and kept the money?"
Her brows knitted with confusion. "Dawson, I—"
"I guess this is pretty much just a long-winded way of saying that, um, I love you, Joey, and I know you must feel the same. This past year… we missed out on so much together, and now we can finally move forward."
Before she could say anything, he moved towards her and kissed her, his lips taking possession of her mouth. Her mind screamed in dismay. In an instant, Joey pushed him away from her and slapped him hard across the face. He stepped backwards as if dazed, holding his reddening cheek.
"Dawson, what the hell are you doing?!"
He looked shocked and shook his head in disbelief. "But… you took the money. You… you told him to leave. You chose me over him. I mean, that says something, doesn't it? It's a sign. It's fate, bringing us back together, where we belong."
Dawson reached for her, but she quickly stepped back. "Don't touch me! How could you think that? You know I love Pacey."
Now he really looked confused. "But I thought… you and Pacey… were over."
Her stomach tightened fiercely. "Why would you think that?"
"Well, I got the impression that you and Pacey got into a big fight over the money, but you'd decided to keep it, and you told Pacey to leave and take some sailing job in the Bahamas. Am I wrong?"
"He was offered that job like a month ago, Dawson. I told him to take it, but it's just for the summer!"
"Well, Jack made it seem like he wasn't coming back, and you… well, you were keeping the money even though Pacey didn't want you to. And that's when I knew. I knew you'd chosen me, that some part of you must want to get us back on track and moving in the right direction. Fate always finds a way."
"Dawson, are you out of your mind?"
"But… Joey… I told you, didn't I? That day on the dock. I told you that you were making a colossal mistake, and that all roads would lead back to me. And here we are."
The horror of dawning realization rushed over her. Angry, hurt tears pricked her eyes, and stopped her voice for a moment. She started walking backwards, putting distance between them. "Pacey was right," she cried, shaking her head as her eyes now filled with tears. "Pacey was right about you."
"Pacey understands that you're much better off without him, Joey. He understands the real reason you wanted him to leave and take that job."
"What?" This conversation was getting worse by the second. "What do you mean, he understands?"
"We talked about it, today before the ceremony."
She stared and swallowed against the tightness in her throat. Was this the real reason Pacey had bailed and left the way he did? Not being denied the chance to walk the stage, but… because of Dawson? Was Dawson and whatever he'd said to him the reason?
Then remembering the way Pacey had kissed her almost as if he'd never see her again, his last words to her and the tone in which he'd said them and the look on his face, the warning bells it triggered, she filled with terror. "No," she breathed.
"He knows he's no good for you. He knows that I'm the better man for you. That I can take care of you, and he can't. He knows I'm right. It's why he talked you into taking the money like I told him to. I'm sure it's the reason he left. Do you honestly think Pacey would just pack up and leave just because you told him to take some summer job? That he'd ever want to be away from you for two days, let alone two months?
"He left because he knows he lost. And it takes a big man to accept defeat and take the high road. I told him to remove himself from the equation, and he did. Don't think I believe for one second he did it for me. I know he did it for you because he cares about you enough to know you deserve better. You know it, too. You took the money because you believe you deserve to go to Worthington, that you deserve better than Capeside, better than Pacey. When we talked, he seemed to understand."
She couldn't believe this. She wanted to scream. "Dawson, what have you done?" Her tears escaped and brimmed over. "What have you done?!" she shouted.
He seemed dumbfounded at the way she was reacting. "I haven't done anything. This is for the best," he told her. "Pacey is gone, and… this is proof. We're soulmates, Joey. I believe that now more than ever. Me and you—that's the way it's supposed to be. The way it was always meant to be. Everything that's happened has led us here."
She swallowed hard, and knowing she couldn't let Pacey leave thinking any of Dawson's bullshit was true, thinking the worst of her, thinking she had anything to do with this insanity, terrified that now he wouldn't come back and that kiss goodbye had been a real kiss goodbye, she turned away to run towards the parking lot.
But Dawson took hold of her arm, not letting her leave. "Joey, just listen to m—"
"Don't touch me!" she screamed, forcing her arm from his grasp.
And then she started running across the manicured lawn. She heard her name being called, but it wasn't Dawson's voice. Suddenly Andie, Jen, and Jack were there, and she stopped. "I have to get to the airport," she said, the tears still streaming. "But…" She sighed helplessly. "The truck's at my house."
"You'll never get to the airport in time in that old beat-up truck," Jen said.
"I've got the Saab!" Andie was practically bouncing on her toes. "I'll drive!"
"But…" Joey glanced between her friends. "Andie, what about Will?"
She shrugged. "He can hang out with my dad for a few hours. No big deal. They get along fine."
"But I'm sure you have plans with your families. I don't want you guys to—"
Jack smiled. "You're our family, too," he said, Andie nodding in agreement. "So, come on, let's go!" she added enthusiastically.
They ran to Andie's car and then she was speeding out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell.
Less than forty minutes after leaving Capeside, during which Joey had tearfully told her friends the whole awful truth of what had occurred with Dawson, they were on Sagamore Bridge, which connected Cape Cod to mainland Massachusetts. They were met with the inevitable gridlock.
"Bridge traffic is seriously the worst. Fucking tourists! And Massholes, too!"
"Andie, you're gonna get us murdered," Jen snarked in the back seat.
"We're not gonna make it," Joey fretted. "His flight leaves at four-thirty. We're not gonna make it."
"Think positive!" Andie looked over and gave her an encouraging smile. "We still have a… fairly good chance of getting there on time." Her smile faltered as she glanced at the digital clock on the dashboard.
Jack leaned forward from the back seat. "Well… his flight could always be delayed. Delays happen all the time, Joey. Don't give up hope."
Eventually they arrived inside the Boston city limits and followed the signs to Boston Logan International Airport, Andie speeding all the way. "What airline is he flying?" Jen asked.
Joey tore her gaze from the time on the dash. They weren't going to make it. "Oh, um… JetBlue."
Andie followed the signs to the correct terminal and came to a screeching lurch at the curb outside it. Joey hurried out of the car and ran inside the airport. She'd never been in an airport before, and would've been totally lost if Jack hadn't been at her side. She followed her friend to a desk with a JetBlue attendant standing behind it.
"Hi," Jack greeted. "The four-thirty flight to Nassau, has it left yet?"
"Well, I don't know," the man said in a campy voice, sounding snobby and bored. "Maybe."
Scowling, he pulled a face. "Well, can you get on the phone and call the gate and find out?" Jack demanded, his voice getting louder.
The man forced a smile, got on the phone, and asked the question to whomever answered. Then he hung up. "Gate C36. You better run. And I'd run fast if I were you."
"Oh, my God," Joey groaned.
Jack grabbed her by the hand and they hurried away. Everything around Joey was a blur of bright lights and moving walkways and newsstands and small convenience stores and bathrooms and gates with rows and rows of chairs. The airport was crowded, with more people than she had ever seen at one place in her entire life.
"If Hell is other people, then the airport is Purgatory," Jack snarked beside her.
They ran through the terminal, checking every gate number, coming closer and closer to C36. Joey wished she'd worn pants instead of this blasted skirt, and then maybe she could run faster. When they finally reached the gate, the chairs were empty, and the doors were already closed. Joey ran to the large window and watched the plane pulling away from the terminal, heading for the runway.
She was too late.
She couldn't move. She couldn't talk. Tears welled up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Joey," Jack consoled as he came up to stand next to her. "I'm so sorry."
She felt defeated, lost, afraid, and there was another feeling, something far worse than all the others.
"What if he doesn't come back?" she said quietly, on the verge of heartbreak, voicing aloud her biggest fear.
"What? Of course, he'll be back."
"But if he believes anything Dawson might've said to him… why would he?"
Jack shook his head. "Pacey's too smart for that."
She frowned as she turned from the window to look at him. "He is, but after what he's been through this week…" She sniffled, fresh tears filling her eyes. "I didn't want him to leave like this," she cried, her heart breaking for him. "He's been so down on himself, and who knows what exactly Dawson said to him."
Whatever it was, it was enough to make Pacey up and leave without telling her. She again remembered the way he had kissed her, the last words he'd spoke to her.
See ya, Joey.
It was going to haunt her all summer. Maybe the rest of her life.
Her face crumpled. Jack threw his arm around her shoulder and walked her away from the window. When they reached Andie's car that was parked out on the curb, Joey got into the back seat with Jen, and proceeded to cry off and on the whole ride back to Capeside.
She feared the worst—that Dawson was right and that he'd made Pacey understand that he needed to leave her. That he'd used the money she'd accepted as leverage to prove his point. That it was the real reason Pacey had agreed to take the summer job. That he had given her up. That he wouldn't be back for her.
Because he'd been right, and she'd been blind. And her blindness had hurt him. That awful fight in her bedroom was flashing back, the things Pacey had said—that he felt like nothing compared to Dawson, that Dawson would always be the one she relied on instead of him.
What if she'd lost him over this?
It felt like last year, when Pacey was leaving for the summer and had said goodbye to her at Mitch and Gail's wedding. Only when she was terribly afraid that she had lost him, had she acknowledged the feelings that had grown in the darkness of her painful adolescence like a spring bulb planted too deeply. They had at last forced their way through to the light of day, but she feared she was too late.
Still, she ran to him, and he was there. And then her life changed forever.
Except this time, she was too late, and perhaps her life had changed forever again.
As her thoughts again turned to Dawson, heartbreak turned to anger in an instant.
When Andie pulled into the B&B's driveway, Joey got out of the car. "Can you wait here a minute? I'll be right out."
Her friends looked at her in surprise, and then Andie nodded. "Of course."
Joey walked around to the back porch, came in the door, breezed right past her sister standing in the kitchen, and went into her bedroom. Once she'd retrieved what she'd came for, shoving it into the pocket of her dark blue denim skirt, she walked back out.
"We were wondering what happened to you," Bessie said. "I figured you went to the airport with Pacey and just didn't say anything."
"Yes, I went to the airport," she said as she kept heading for the back door.
When she was once again in the back seat of the Saab, Jen asked her where she wanted to go. "Dawson's house," she answered.
Her friends said nothing in reply, and then Andie was back on the road, heading for the other side of the creek. When they reached the Leery's place, Joey got out of the car. "You guys can take off now," she told them. "After I do what I need to do here, I'll just go home. I'll walk, or… I don't know. Maybe I'll steal Dawson's rowboat or something."
Her friends all exchanged looks, and then turned to her, smiling. "Sorry, Joey, no can do," Jen said.
"Yeah," Andie agreed. "The words 'I wanna be alone right now' aren't gonna work on us."
"We're gonna be sitting right here in this car, waiting for you," Jack added. "And then you're stuck with us for the rest of the day."
"This really isn't up for discussion," Jen smirked.
Unable to help herself, she smiled, grateful for her friends—her family.
She stepped onto the screened porch and knocked on the back door. When it opened, Mitch stared at her in surprise, and then concern. "Uh, hi, Joey."
She was fully aware of how she must look: face red and blotchy with emotion, eyes bloodshot, tear stains on her cheeks. "Hi, Mr. Leery. Is Dawson home? I need to talk to him."
"Yeah, come on in."
"I, uh, I think I'd rather stay out here, if that's okay."
With a silent nod, Mitch closed the door. Moments later, it opened again, and Dawson appeared. The sight of him flooded her insides with cold anger, and that cold anger showed in her eyes, showed in her voice. "Hi."
"Hey. My dad said you wanted to talk to me."
"Yeah."
"Look, about earlier—"
"No, Dawson. I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen."
He visibly gulped. "Uh, okay…"
"What I have to say, you're not going to like, so I'll try to say it quickly. You know, maybe this is partly my fault. Maybe I should've been clearer that day on your dock last year. Maybe I should've shared, in no uncertain terms, the reality of my feelings, even though I was only just starting to realize myself the full truth of them. I had never wanted to hurt you, and I had thought at the time that it was best not to add insult to injury, but… I can see now that was a huge mistake."
She watched him open his mouth to speak, but he just as quickly closed it, and she continued. "Dawson, I don't care for you the same way you care for me. I don't want you the way you want me. I don't love you the same way you love me. I…" She took a deep breath, tears pricking her eyes. "I never have, not really."
"Joey, how can you say that?"
"Because it's the truth, Dawson. I was so young and confused, and you were the one thing I could count on when everything else in my life was a mess. I… I had a crush on you and I clung to you because I was this scared little girl who didn't want to lose the safe harbor that you and your whole family was for me. But that's over now. It's been over for a long time.
"Pacey…" Her throat closed up. She chewed her lip, fighting back the tears, and took another deep breath. "Pacey is the one I want," she told him, her voice breaking. "He's the only one I've ever wanted, for as long as I can remember. I was just too afraid to want it."
She watched his face fall, but she felt no guilt, no remorse, only indignation. "Pacey is the one I love. He is everything to me. He's…" She had to tell him the truth, the whole truth, of how she felt, even if the truth hurt. She couldn't find it in herself to care about his feelings at the moment. "He's my soulmate, Dawson. He's my match, in every way. He's the one I'm supposed to be with. I've always known it."
His face fell even further, like a plummeting stone, and he looked astonished.
Her eyes hardened. "And now, because of you, he's gone."
Dawson shook his head, his expression full of regret, full of panic. "Joey—"
"I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself for not seeing things as they really are, for being so blind to your intentions, and for… for hurting Pacey because of that blindness. But I do know that I will never forgive you. So, from now on, I want you to stay away from me. I never want to see you again."
From her pocket, Joey removed the envelope with the check for the sixty thousand dollars, and slapped it against his chest. "Stay. Away from me."
Without another word, she turned and walked off the Leery's porch and back to the Saab. The drive over to the B&B was a silent one. Without a word, Andie, Jen, and Jack followed her into the house and to her bedroom. She'd grabbed the cordless from the kitchen and tried calling his cell phone, but it was turned off. Her friends then spent the next hour trying to cheer her up, talking about everything and nothing, and trying to assuage her fears about Pacey. But there was only one way she could cheer up—she had to hear from Pacey and hear him tell her that everything was okay and that he would be back for her. That's all she cared about.
"It's such a strange, terrible thing we do," Joey said.
"What's that?" Jen asked.
"Falling in love. To choose to share your life with someone. You… you willingly give them your heart, knowing that losing them could potentially destroy you. Completely and utterly destroy you. It's such a crazy thing to do."
"You're right," Andie said. "It's insane."
She frowned and gazed out her open window. "Then why on earth do we do it?"
Jack placed his hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. "What else is there? Love is what makes life worth living."
There was a knock on her door, and then it opened slightly as Bodie peeked his head in. "Jo, you left your yearbook on the front porch."
"What?" she said, her brows knitting. "No, I didn't. It's right over…" She got off the bed and turned to her desk, but there was nothing on it except a vase of flowers and one of her framed pictures of Pacey. Her yearbook had been there this morning. She'd looked at it before she left for graduation. How…?
Realization hit her, and Joey turned sharply to face Bodie. He held out the yearbook to her. Her heart was pounding. Her stomach tightened into knots. She stepped forward and took the book from his hand. Then the door closed and he was gone.
"Joey? What is it?" Jen asked.
She stared down at the yearbook in her hands. Fear and hope battled it out inside of her. While she knew it had to have been Pacey who took the yearbook from her desk and left it for her, she worried about what kind of message was inside it. He'd told her that one only signed the yearbooks of classmates they were never going to see again.
What if he'd written a Dear Jane letter inside? What if this was the real goodbye?
Tears pricked her eyes. She couldn't bear to open the yearbook and find this was the end. She felt like she was going to be sick, and was too afraid to open the book and learn her fate, but she had to know. Joey returned to the bed and handed the yearbook to Jen. "If there's something written in here, can you read it to me?"
"Are you sure?"
Joey took a deep breath. "Yes, I'm sure."
With a heavy sigh, Jen took the yearbook from her hand. She watched her open it and flip through the front blank pages. Jen shook her head, and then flipped to the back of the book. Joey watched her eyes go wide.
"There's something written, isn't there?"
"Yeah."
She nearly choked on emotion. "Pacey?"
Jen gave her a small smile and nodded.
"Okay." She fought back the tears threatening to overwhelm her again. "Read it."
Clearing her throat, Jen shook her head and handed the yearbook back to her. "No. You read it, Joey."
She hesitated.
"No, really. You need to read it."
Joey took the opened yearbook into her lap and stared down at the page, instantly recognizing Pacey's handwriting.
I loved you all along. When we were kids, before we even really knew each other, I loved your hair, the color of chocolate, your smile, and your sweet smells. When we got a little older, I loved your teeth, with the tiny spaces between them whenever your baby ones fell out, your big brown eyes, and this little blue top you wore with white polka dots. By the time we were thirteen, I loved your long legs, flawless as cream, the hint of breasts that rose under your shirt, and your laugh.
Sure, we'd fight like cats and dogs, but I could also make you laugh. I could make you laugh and laugh. You would laugh so hard you would have to cover your mouth, or clutch at your side to ease a stitch. And how you would laugh whenever I tickled you. God, you hated it, but now looking back, I think you liked it, too.
I loved to make you laugh because as soon as you stopped laughing, your eyes became sad. I wanted to spend the rest of my life making you laugh. I wanted to be the one to save you from your sadness.
I loved to make you laugh, but I also loved to make you mad. For the longest time, that was the only way I could get your attention, and I craved your attention like flowers crave sunshine and water.
I loved you. I would've traded everyone else for you, even Dawson, my best friend since I was five years old. I did trade him, in the end. I would do it again. I would've traded all my siblings. My own father and mother. I still would.
I loved you then. I love you now. I will love you forever.
~ Pacey
P.S. I hope your face is the first thing I see on the dock when I get to Boston.
Joey stopped reading, and looked up around her room, her gaze falling on all her pictures of Pacey, silent tears of relief streaming down her face. She knew he would come back. He'd told her over and over again he would. She knew it was the truth. She hadn't lost him, and she didn't intend to.
While she still felt a little let down by the way he had left, and couldn't blame him after what happened, she longed to be reunited with him. As poignantly as she felt her love for him, she felt Pacey's love for her. He had always loved her. He would always be hers. She believed they would move through life welded together, even if life temporarily separated them.
Almost an hour after arriving at the airport, Pacey was walking towards the back of the plane. He'd never been on a plane before, and this was going to be a brand new experience. He could only hope it wouldn't crash. He squeezed through the aisle and sat down in the middle seat. The two passengers on either side of him didn't pay him much attention. He laid his head back on the seat rest and closed his eyes. The jet started to move.
Joey, all he could think about was Joey…
Pacey reached for the cell phone in his pocket as the plane continued to taxi away from the gate and towards the runway.
"Please turn off all portable electronic devices, including laptop computers, radios, CD players, and cell phones," a voice announced overhead.
Cell phones. With a frown, he put it back in his pocket. As the plane left the Boston ground, Pacey started to cry. He was thankful that the engine noise during takeoff hid the embarrassing sound. The woman next to him was staring.
"Tough goodbye?"
He wiped his wet face with the back of his hand. "I hope it won't be."
She looked back at him, puzzled.
"I don't want to say goodbye. I don't ever want to say goodbye."
It was seven-thirty in the evening when he arrived in Nassau, but the sun was still shining. He collected his duffel bag from the luggage carousel and made his way outside the airport to board his next plane, a smaller one that would take him on the quick forty-five-minute flight to Freeport.
The light breeze and beams of the sun on his skin made him think of Key West and its beaches, the smell of the salty air and the hot weather. He felt happier than he had in the past week as if the sun was shining brighter than normal. Now, finally free from Capeside, free from his father, and with all his belongings on his back, some money in his pocket, and the salt air in his lungs, he felt like a new man.
From the left pocket of his cargo shorts, he pulled out the antique-style brass compass that Joey had given him for Christmas junior year. He flipped it open. He saw the needle behind a glass cover and rotated the compass in his hand to make it spin. Then he closed it and flipped it over to read the inscription on the back.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~ Thoreau
Happiness was possible. Pacey felt it every morning he woke up next to Joey, when he stood in front of a hot stove and cooked, when he was out on the water. The future no longer seemed dark and unknowable. He could picture his life in Boston with Joey, picture making a career as a chef with Mr. Moore's help, and see the years stretching ahead, comfortable and safe, and the thought gave him more peace than he'd ever known.