And I am back with another chapter! This one is kind of a long chapter and I hope you all enjoy it!
Mels xoxo
Adaira's POV
June brought with it a heat like no other, but luckily enough for us, the hallways and chambers of the mountain were kept constantly cool. I had been dreading summer, thinking that I would have to make it through without the modern marvels of air conditioning, but I found that I was comfortable despite lugging around an additional thirty pounds. I had gained more weight than I had expected to during my pregnancy and my ankles were so swollen they were practically nonexistent. I waddled through the halls now and I didn't go nearly as far as I used to, getting tired if I tried to walk too far.
The babies, I was no longer under the illusion that I was just having a very large baby, constantly kicked me in the stomach unless Dwalin was around to settle them and I was surprised that I wasn't black and blue on the outside. I had mentioned to Dwalin that his sons or daughters were already little warriors, either kicking or headbutting me and he had smiled at that one night before going back to trying to sooth them. They loved the sound of his voice so he often spoke to them or sang to them.
Everything was set up for when the babies arrived, the cradle that Dwalin had built for me big enough for our babes at least when they first were born. I had explained to Dwalin that twins were usually smaller or there might be one bigger baby and one smaller one, but that was perfectly normal and not to worry. I had taken up embroidery again and had crafted two sets of blankets for the cradle, one set in Durin blue with silver thread and another in Emerald green fabric with golden thread. On the Durin blue set, I had embroidered the oaken tree symbol that was the same as the brooch I had found and on the green set I had embroidered a thistle crowned with Durin's crown.
I was begining to gather everything for when the babies were born, knowing that they could be born anytime between now and August and that they most likely would come early. I was praying that they would come early, my back always sore and my temper flaring easily sometimes. I was ready to hold my little ones and at ten months I was tired of being pregnant now. I had already told Dwalin he was lucky he managed to get me pregnant with twins the first time around as there might not be a second time around. Dwalin had only laughed at that and told me he was happy with as many children I was willing to give him.
Mid June we received a letter from Dis as the caravans arrived in Bree. Gloin and Bombur also received letters, their wives informing them that they had been amongst the first to set out for Erebor along with their children. I was excited for both men, knowing that they had both missed their families and I was excited to meet their wives and children when they arrived, Gloin's wife and son Gimli especially as he had spoken of them often on our quest.
It was at the end of June that I scared Tauriel completely when we were walking back from the library where I had been spending the afternoon with Bilbo and Ori. My back had been hurting all morning, but I suddenly felt a tightening in my belly which completely stopped me up short as one of my hands shot to my bump. Tauriel was on alert in an instant as I stood there, assessing what was going on as the tightening grew more intense and then relaxed.
"Is something the matter?" Tauriel asked me, looking worried and I pressed my fingers up around my belly checking on the twins.
"I think so. I just had a strange sensation all of a sudden," I told Tauriel, the twins kicking my hand, assuring me they were fine. "Must be nothing," I told her and we started off once more. Not even two minutes later the tightening sensation returned, drawing me up short once more and my hand shot to my bump again.
"My lady….?" Tauriel said, sounding uncertain and I fixed her with a look and she rolled her eyes, a habit she had picked up from me. "Adaira," She relented, calling me by my name as I had told her over and over again to do. She had insisted on being formal with me whilst we were out amongst prying eyes, but I had told her many times that we were sister in laws and equals and she should call me by my name.
"It's...I'm not sure what it is," I told her as the tightening relaxed once more and I frowned deeply.
"Perhaps I should get Oin," Tauriel told me and I bit my lip, not wanting to bother him if it was nothing. When the tightening sensation started again as we stood there talking and I put both hands over my bump, Tauriel gave me a very firm look. "I'm getting Oin," She told me as she put a hand on my arm and began walking me back to the library.
"It really could be nothing," I told her and she raised an eyebrow at me and gave me a look that told me she wasn't buying it as she walked me through the double doors. Bilbo and Ori looked up as we entered the library once more and they frowned in confusion.
"Did you forget something?" Ori asked me and Tauriel shook her head, answering for me.
"Something is wrong, I am going to find Oin," Tauriel told Ori and both Ori and Bilbo's eyes widened in alarm as Tauriel led me over to an armchair. She gave me another firm look and I sank down into it without complaining.
"What's wrong?" Ori asked me, wringing his hands as he and Bilbo were instantly by my side, Tauriel striding purposefully off and out of the library, leaving the two to assist me.
"Nothing," I told them quickly, huffing as I leaned my chin against the palm of my hand. "We were walking back to my room and I got this odd sensation in my stomach," I explained as the tightening sensation came back and I frowned and as I rubbed my hand over my bump, trying to play it off. The sensations were coming rather close together, combine that with the back pain it could be contractions. I internally groaned, I really wasn't prepared to do this today.
"Are the babies coming?!" Ori asked me nervously and I shook my head as I continued to rub soothing circles over where the twins were kicking me.
"No, it's nothing," I told them and I saw Bilbo giving me a look of, we both know you might be lying, the Hobbit knowing more than a thing or two about babies given that Hobbits had exceedingly large families and I shot him back a look that meant shut it. He hummed and walked over to the sideboard, pouring me a glass of water which he walked back over with, offering it to me and I accepted it from him with a small thank you.
"Should I get Dwalin?" Ori asked me then and I lowered the glass of water so quickly I nearly spit out the sip I had just taken. As it was I swallowed it hard, coughing a bit, and Ori thumped me on the back a few times and I shook my head hurriedly.
"No!" I told Ori vehemently as soon as I could talk again. "There's no reason to pull him away from his men. It's nothing," I said just as the doors to the library opened and Tauriel entered the library followed by Oin.
"I'll be the judge of that, lass," Oin grumbled, looking harried and like he had practically run there which I was pretty sure he had. I reached up and pinched the bridge of my nose, thinking it was ridiculous all the trouble that was going into nothing.
"Oin, you didn't have to rush here," I told the older Dwarf as I lowered my hand from my face and he harrumphed.
"Yah, try tellin' that to her," Oin said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder at Tauriel who had her arms crossed behind her back as she stood at attention close to me, watching everything with a critical eye.
"I merely suggested we should hurry for the sake of Adaira and the bairns," Tauriel said innocently and Oin rolled his eyes at that. Tauriel had appointed herself as my personal guard dog and she was especially keen on caring for the babies well being, Elves having so few children and mine already cherished by her.
I had told her she would be an Aunt soon and she had looked confused at first, but once it had sunk in she had smiled widely and she had asked me if I was certain if I wanted this to be so. I had assured her that I would like nothing more and she had beamed at me and only taken to guarding me more closely. Kili had thanked me for including Tauriel in the family, especially in my children's life and I had sat him down and told him that I cared for him as a brother and that meant that if Tauriel was his One, if she made him happy and he had chosen her to be his wife, then she was my sister and I would treat her as such. It didn't matter to me if Tauriel was an Elf, we had come to be good friends, especially with her as my personal guard.
I trusted Tauriel with my life and found her to be witty and humorous and we often bantered back and forth with one another. She challenged me sometimes, like now when she made me stop being stubborn. Oin set me with a look and gestured for the others to give me some space and Ori and Bilbo stepped back a little as I scooted forward on the chair to give Oin more room to examine me.
"When did the pain start?" Oin asked me gruffly as he began to feel around my bump with his fingers, the twins kicking his hand as well.
"It's not a pain so much. I've had back pain all day, but that's usual for me with the twins. It's more like a tightening sensation and then it relaxes," I explained to Oin, trying to explain it as accurately as possible so that he might be able to positively identify what was going on.
"How often are they? How far apart?" He asked me and I titled my head to the side as I thought about it.
"Not often, they only just started as we left the library to return to my rooms. I would say they're every five to three minutes apart," I told him and Oin hummed and reached up to stroke his beard, running his fingers through it as he thought it over.
"I don't think yer in labor," He finally said after a long moment of silence. "I think yah'll know when yah are. Sounds like false labour pains. Happens when yer close to yah time," Oin explained to me and I made an "ah" sound and expression as I realized what was going on.
"Braxton hicks," I said and Oin frowned at me in confusion, not recognizing the unusual term. "False labor pains. I've heard of them before," I explained to Oin and he nodded in understanding now.
"Aye, if they get more intense then we'd have cause to worry, but if they're manageable, I wouldn't concern yerself any. I don't think yah have much longer to go. Yer not likely to be able to carry them until August. They're already running out of room as it is," Oin told me and I sighed in relief, glad that he thought I was going to have them soon.
"I'm so ready to have them, just not today," I told Oin and he and the others chuckled. "Carrying them this long...I thought nine months would be bad...twelve is just crazy," I said with a sigh and I looked up at Tauriel. "Don't do what I did. Enjoy some time with Kili first just the two of you," I told her shaking my head and I saw her blush slightly at my words, but I hoped she would seriously take my advice.
"So, nothing to worry about?" I asked Oin and the older Dwarf nodded his head in confirmation. "See," I told Tauriel cheekily, sticking my tongue out at her.
"It could have been something," Tauriel told me and I rolled my eyes at her.
"Or nothing," I said and Tauriel and I smiled at one another, our words so close to what she had told Kili, Kili having told me that little tidbit about how he had won her over, talking to her in the dungeons of King Thranduil's palace. "Alright," I said, pulling a face when another braxton hicks contraction came. "We should try this again," I said and I put my hands on the arms of the chair and began trying to get up. Tauriel came to my aid and helped me to my feet and I thanked her once I was on my feet, putting a hand to my bump and rubbing over where one of the twins had kicked me particularly hard and shook my head before turning to look at Oin.
"Sorry, that it was nothing," I told him, feeling bad that he had run all the way here for nothing and Oin waved me off instantly.
"Better to be safe than sorry, lass. If yah feel even the slightest change I want yah to send for me, night or day. The bairns could come at any time," Oin told me and I nodded in understanding, knowing he was right.
"I will," I told him and he looked at me, unconvinced. "I will," I told him again more firmly and Oin harrumphed and pointed at me.
"Yah had better," He told me and Tauriel smiled at the older Dwarf.
"I shall see to it that she will," Tauriel told Oin and I threw up my hands then in exasperation.
"What is this? You're all ganging up on me today?" I asked as I looked around at all of them and Oin pointed at me accusatorially.
"Yer too stubborn. Just like yer hard headed husband," Oin told me and I rolled my eyes at that.
"I just don't like getting you for every little twinge, especially when I know a thing or two about medicine" I told him before I put a hand to my lower back, another supporting my bump. "Alright, I just got up and I already need to sit back down. Let's get back to my rooms before Dwalin sends out a search party," I told Tauriel, looking up at my sister in law who nodded. Dwalin would be finishing with his day about now and he would start to worry if I wasn't home yet when he got it.
"I'll walk yah back, lass," Oin told me and I shook my head instantly but he stopped me by raising his hand. "Don't argue lass, yer getting closer to yer time. I'd rather yah not have the bairns in one of the halls," Oin told me and I sighed in exasperation before deciding to just let it happen as I was too tired to argue and I needed to get off my feet, the swelling bad in my ankles.
"Fine," I told him before turning to look at Ori and Bilbo. "Sorry for worrying you two," I told my friends. "I'll see you tomorrow," I told them and they nodded, both men giving me a side armed hug and saying goodbye before Tauriel, Oin and I left them, setting off back for my rooms.
This time we made it back, but the journey took more time than I would have liked it to, the false contractions stopping me up short a few times. Oin asked me a few questions as to their intensity and I told him the truth, that they hadn't increased, but they still felt rather strange and took my breath away. When we entered Dwalin's and my rooms, Dwalin was pacing up and down our living room looking worried and as soon as he saw me he swore under his breath and headed straight for me. Thorin was leaning against my desk, looking harried and he breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw me. Dwalin drew me into his arms, careful of the twins and he tucked his head into the crook of my neck before pulling back to look me over for injury.
"Where were yah?" He asked me before he saw Oin behind me with Tauriel. "What happened?" He asked instantly, his hands going to my bump and I put my hands over his.
"Nothing. I'm fine, we're fine," I assured him instantly. "We were walking back from the library and I started feeling an odd sensation," I began to explain as Dwalin splayed his hands over my bump, feeling the twins kick which always calmed him down. "They're just false contractions," I explained and Dwalin sighed in relief.
"I got worried when yah weren't back," Dwalin told me and I nodded in understanding.
"I know," I told him, raising a hand and putting it on his cheek. "I didn't mean to make you worry," I told him and he nodded before leaning in and kissing me in greeting.
"I'm glad everything is as it should be," Thorin said as he stepped away from my desk and joined us and he gave me a side armed hug in greeting. "I told you, you would find her well," He told Dwalin who shot Thorin a "don't tell me I told you so" look.
"Could yah blame me for bein' worried?" Dwalin asked Thorin who shook his head.
"No, but have a little trust. Adaira is the most protected in the mountain," Thorin told my husband who nodded after a moment and Dwalin turned to Tauriel.
"Thank you," He told Tauriel whose eyes widened slightly in surprise and she nodded her head.
"Your welcome," She told my husband before she looked at me. "Do you need anything else?" She asked me and I shook my head.
"No, thank you Tauriel. Go and enjoy your time with Kili," I told her and she smiled at me and bowed her head to me before leaving to go and find her own husband.
"I'll take my own leave now. Remember lass, anything changes…," Oin told me and I rolled my eyes and nodded.
"And I'll send for you right away," I finished for him and he harrumphed before nodding to Dwalin and Thorin before leaving like Tauriel had.
"False contractions?" Thorin asked me in confusion as soon as Oin had left and I nodded as Dwalin helped me into an armchair. I sat down heavily, feeling better now that I was off my feet and he helped me lift my swollen feet up onto an ottoman to relieve some of the swelling in them.
"It happens sometimes when women are close to giving birth. Not to all women though. Oin thinks it won't be much longer," I said and Thorin nodded as I sighed in relief as Dwalin took off my shoes and began rubbing my feet.
"If you need anything, all you need to do is ask mizimith," Thorin told me and I smiled up at him gratefully.
"Thank you, Thorin," I thanked my Uncle who nodded his head.
"We're all ready for them," He added and I smiled wider as I looked down at my bump, one hand resting on either side of it.
"So am I," I told him and Thorin was smiling back at me when I looked back at him.
"I'll leave you to get some rest," He told me and he leaned down to kiss the top of my head before making his way to the door. "If anything changes…," He said with the door open.
"I'll make sure you know what is going on, adad," I assured him and he nodded before leaving and I turned back to look at my husband who was still rubbing my feet. "Hello," I said and Dwalin looked up from his task and smiled at me.
"Amrâlimê," Dwalin greeted me and I smiled at him warmly. "How was yer day?" He asked me and I sighed as I got comfortable in my chair.
"Long. Bilbo, Ori, and I spent the day pouring over old books and maps. How was yours?" I asked my husband and he shrugged his shoulders.
"Not bad. Ran through my drills, walked patrol," Dwalin told me and I nodded in understanding as Dwalin stopped rubbing my feet and stood, taking the seat beside mine. There was a fire burning merrily in the fireplace that despite the fact it was June, was not too hot, but just right.
"You'll have even more to do soon," I told him as I reached over and linked one of my hands with his. "Shouldn't be long now," I told him as I rubbed a hand over my bump. "They're running out of room," I added and Dwalin smiled as I spoke of our twins. "We still haven't settled on names yet," I pointed out and Dwalin groaned at that. It was the one subject he hated the most, neither of us able to agree on a name.
"At this point, just pick something," Dwalin told me, running his hand down his face tiredly and I laughed at that and shook my head.
"I think we'll know when we see them," I told him before I smiled softly. "We still don't even know what we're having. Probably boys. Girls are rare after all," I said and Dwalin nodded in agreement.
"Sons or daughters, as long as they are healthy I'll be fine with that," Dwlain told me and I hummed my agreement.
Dwalin and I sat by the fire for at least another hour before having dinner together in our rooms. Before we used to eat with the Company down the hall, but recently we began having our dinners together in our quarters as I didn't feel up to not only walking down and back from dinner, but keeping up with the exuberance of the Company. We climbed into bed afterwards and I cuddled up into Dwalin's arms, Dwalin talking to the twins who finally settled down and stopped kicking me constantly. It was these little moments that I enjoyed the most. Soon they would be a bit different, only because we could physically hold our twins.
Over the next few days I continued to experience the false labour pains. I began to slow down even more and finally I got to the point where I was too tired to go further than my rooms. Because of this, the members of the Company took turns spending time with me during the day and I had a feeling that Dwalin or Thorin had put them up to this and that they were on baby watch. The rains of June gave way to the even more extreme heat of July and while I didn't get to see it, Tauriel told me that the landscape had changed entirely, wildflowers and grass covering the barren wasteland in front of the mountain.
The first week of July passed without incident and without me going into labour. I was afraid to even sneeze fearing my water would break if I did. When the second week of July passed without me going into labour I was beginning to think I would carry to full term. The false contractions would come and go from time to time so when I woke up with back pain and the same feeling on July seventeenth, I really wasn't too concerned with it and said nothing about it to Dwalin as there was no reason to get his hopes up.
He helped me dress and then I kissed him goodbye, sending him off for the day with promises to send for him if anything happened as I did every morning. Tauriel was in the living room as soon as I entered it, the first on baby watch and besides that, just there to keep me company. I had been attempting to teach her how to knit so we sat down by the fire and took up our work as I tried to ignore the false contractions.
Around lunch Fili and Kili joined us and they had us both laughing as we played a Dwarven game that was like backgammon. The false contractions had gotten stronger during the day, but I had continued to ignore them as nothing had happened before now and I knew what they were and that it was nothing. I had just gotten up between one game and the next to stretch and because I felt like I needed to pee and as I stood and stepped away from the table I sneezed suddenly and I felt as if I had peed myself, a large gush of water trickling down between my legs and then I heard the splash on the stone floor below me. Everyone stopped talking, their eyes falling on me as I looked down, mortified, thinking I had peed myself, finding myself standing in a puddle of liquid.
"Did you just pee yourself?" Kili asked me, a large grin on his face and laughter in his voice.
"I...I don't know," I answered him before I felt another contraction, this one stronger than the last and when I counted back to the last one I realized that they were coming closer and closer together and lasting about a minute each. "I think my water just broke," I said, looking up at the three of them and instantly everyone sobered.
"You're joking," Kili squeaked and I shook my head as I braced one of my hands on the table and my other on my bump.
"No, I'm not," I told him and I saw the horror in his face and he sort of gulped as Tauriel stood and was at my side in an instant.
"How long have you been having contractions?" Tauriel asked me, not even sounding exasperated with me.
"Since this morning, but I thought they were false contractions like before," I answered her as she helped me back over to my chair and I sat down with her help. She nodded and looked back up at Kili who looked a bit white.
"Kili, go and get Oin," Tauriel ordered her husband instantly.
"Oin?" Kili asked her, sounding confused.
"Yes, Oin," She told him and when he didn't move she snapped at him, "Go!" and he got up instantly and got moving swiftly, running out of the door.
"How can I help?" Fili asked me as he wheeled away from the table and over to my other side and I felt bad, knowing that he was probably angry with himself for not being able to do more.
"Just being here is enough," I assured him, reaching over and slipping one of my hands into his.
"I can go find Dwalin," He told me and I started to shake my head but he stopped me. "I'm not an invalid namad. I can manage," Fili told me and I realized that I was indeed telling him no just because he was in a wheelchair.
"Alright. Thank you," I told Fili and he nodded before wheeling away and he managed to open the heavy door by himself and maneuver his chair out through it while holding the door open on his own.
"Let's get you in bed," Tauriel told me after he left and I nodded, knowing that the contractions would only get worse, making it harder to move.
"I should clean that up," I said about the mess I had made and Tauriel shook her head.
"Don't worry about that," Tauriel told me as she helped lift me out of the chair and wrapped an arm around my waist before helping me walk to my room. Once there she sat me down on the edge of the bed before she walked over to my dresser and retrieved a nightgown for me. "May I?" She asked me, in regards to helping me undress and I nodded.
"Yes," I told her and she began helping me get out of my dress which she discarded in the laundry before helping me pull the nightgown over myself. Once redressed in something that was not wet she got me into bed and wrapped the furs tightly around me. "Thank you, Tauriel," I told my sister in law, catching her by the wrist as she went to walk away from the bed and she turned back to me looking surprised. "I don't know what I would do without you here. You're the only level headed person amongst us all," I told her and she smiled at me and sat beside me on the bed.
"You are most welcome. I do not forget that when I lost myself it was you who helped to care for me," Tauriel told me and she looked down at her lap then, playing with her hands. "I cannot thank you enough for what you did for myself and Kili," She added and I shook my head, putting one of my hands over hers.
"You don't have to thank me. We're family. You're my sister now. I would have cared for you regardless if you were Kili's One or not, but we are family, family takes care of one another," I told Tauriel and she looked up at me, her eyes somewhat glassy and she nodded firmly at that.
"Family looks after one another," She told me firmly before she rose from the bed. She walked over to the fireplace and added more wood to the fire and began stoking it, trying to ward off the chill in the air, the mountain cool even in the middle of July and then she began to collect as many clean cloths as she could find.
"Tauriel?" I asked as she hurried about the room and she paused and looked over at me as I grimaced through a particularly painful contraction. "Will you stay with me?" I asked her suddenly and Tauriel's eyes widened. "If you aren't comfortable with it, that's okay, but…," I said and Tauriel shook her head instantly.
"If you wish for me to remain with you, I shall," Tauriel told me and I smiled back at the woman who shared a smile of her own with me before I groaned and laid my head back against the pillows.
"Another one?" Tauriel asked me as she set down the towels and came to sit beside me on the bed once more.
"They're getting stronger now," I told her and she hummed before looking back towards the door.
"I'll go see where Oin is," Tauriel told me, reaching forward and squeezing my hand before she rose and strode out of the room swiftly.
While husbands usually weren't allowed in during the birth of their children, I had thrown a fit until Oin had caved and would allow Dwalin to be with me while I had the twins. I had told Oin that I would need Dwalin with me if I was going to be able to do this and while Dwalin seemed unsure how he could help me, he was determined to be by my side the entire time I was in labor. Thorin had told me that Vili had tried to fight to be in the room during the birth of both Fili and Kili, but Dis had thrown him out, not wanting to see him and that I might change my mind once I actually was in labor.
I had asked Tauriel to stay with me because I needed someone else in the room besides Oin who could be calm and level headed because Dwalin would no doubt be losing his mind with worry and I would be so out of it that I would need someone to just tell me when to push. Already the contractions were getting closer together and more powerful and I just wanted Dwalin. I was glad that Fili went to get him and I took deep breaths, my little warriors kicking under my hands, letting me know they were battle ready. Tauriel returned several moments later followed by the still dazed and pale looking Kili and Oin who harrumphed as soon as he laid eyes on me.
"I told yah, any change, if they got more intense, yah send for me," Oin scolded me as he walked over to my bedside and I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.
"They weren't. They felt exactly like the false contractions I've been getting," I argued with him as I opened my eyes and he fixed me with a look and I sighed, too tired to argue.
"How far apart are yer contractions do yah reckon?" Oin asked me as he pulled back the furs so he could begin his examination.
"Seven minutes," I told him with confidence as he felt around my bump and he nodded before he looked towards Kili.
"Yah might want to move to the other room lad," Oin grunted to Kili who was standing at the end of my bed.
"What?" Kili asked Oin and I raised a brow at my brother.
"He has to check how dilated I am," I explained and Kili frowned in confusion and I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose again. "Which means he has to take a look down there…," I said and as soon as I did Kili pulled a face of disgust.
"I'm out of here," Kili said and he practically ran for my living room, shutting the door firmly behind him and I shook my head before looking at Tauriel.
"Is he always such a child?" I asked her and she shrugged her shoulders, another habit she had picked up from me.
"Not with me," She answered me before she moved to the side. "Can I help in any way?" She asked Oin and Oin directed her in how she could help him in getting me better positioned on the bed so he could conduct his examination. I hadn't of course put on any smallclothes as those were unnecessary at this point and Oin quickly reached up and checked how much I was dilated before Tauriel got me settled once more.
"Four centimeters I would say," Oin told me as I laid back down and he shook his head at me. "Yer movin' along nicely for yer first bairns," He added and I signed in relief at that, assured that at least everything was going well so far.
I heard Dwalin before I saw him, a door slamming open and Kili squeaking in a high pitched voice from behind the closed door to my bedroom as I heard Dwalin practically shouting behind the door at him. The door to my bedroom burst open then with a little bang of wood against stone and Dwalin looked around before his eyes fell on me and he hurried over to the bed looking frantic. Oin stopped him before he could reach me, putting his hands up and blocking his path.
"Calm yerself sonny," Oin told my husband who was breathing heavily from his run over here and looked half mad. "She's just fine and so are the bairns," Oin told him immediately as Dwalin looked down at Oin as if he wanted to fight him.
"Get outta my way," Dwalin told Oin in almost a growl and Oin shook his head.
"Not until yah take a deep breath and get a hold of yerself," Oin told my husband and I looked between my husband and Oin and knew I needed to calm down the situation.
"Mo chridhe," I said and Dwalin's gaze found mine. "Breath, in and out. Oin is right. I'm fine and so are the twins. So take a deep breath for me and then come here," I told him and Dwalin nodded, shaking himself of his frenzy and taking several deep breaths for me, calming himself. Once he was calm Oin stepped out of his way and Dwalin walked over to the side of the bed and sat next to me, Tauriel and Oin giving us some space.
"Amrâlimê," Dwalin said as he placed a hand over my bump protectively and then picked up one of my hands in his own and I beamed up at him, reaching with my other hand he was not holding and placing it on his cheek, rubbing my thumb gently over his skin and down over the top of his beard.
"Everything is fine, mo chridhe," I promised my husband, but I knew why he was so fearful. Dwalin had expressed his fears to me not too long ago. It wasn't just his fears about what could happen to me or the twins while I was pregnant, he also had fears about when it came time to me giving birth.
Many darrowdams died in childbirth, something Oin had confirmed. It was either due to hemorrhaging or the inability of a baby to be born. If the baby was breech and could not come out usually both mother and baby died. They didn't know how to perform a cesarean birth of course. I was worried about this myself, knowing that most twins were delivered via cesarean. I could only hope that both babies were head down and I would be able to naturally deliver them both.
"Does anyone else know?" I asked him calmly and Dwalin nodded as I lowered my hand from his face.
"Aye, Fili set off tah find Thorin just as soon as he had told me," Dwalin informed me and I nodded before falling silent and grimacing as another strong contraction racked my body. I felt Dwalin put his hand on my shoulder and I attempted to listen to him, but the pain was more than I expected it to be. I could never imagine exactly what labor was going to be like, but now I knew and I was doing it completely unmedicated. When the contraction finally let up I opened my scrunched eyes and saw Dwalin staring back at me in worry.
"I'm fine," I assured him right away. "That's normal," I told him as I took his hands into mine and squeezed them. "I'm four centimeters dilated. I need to get to ten before I can start pushing. It could be hours before that happens," I told Dwalin who balked at that.
"Hours?" He asked me and I nodded in confirmation. "And these contractions will keep happenin'? He asked me and I nodded once more. "Mahal," Dwalin said and he ran a hand down his face.
"You're telling me," I told him with a snort and he looked back at me with regret in his eyes.
"Birashagimi," He told me and I shook my head at that.
"Don't be sorry. You and the twins are the best things to ever happen to me," I told my husband and I leaned forward and leaned my head against his shoulder. "Men lananubukhas menu," I told him and Dwalin leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
"Men lananubukhs menu, amadel," Dwalin told me and I smiled, my head still on his shoulder as he squeezed my hand.
"I think our living room is about to turn into the world's rowdiest waiting room," I said with a grin spreading over my face and Dwalin chuckled at that as I lifted my head from his shoulder. "There is bound to be bets taking place too," I added and Dwalin nodded his head.
"Oh aye, I expect there will be coin trading hands," Dwalin told me with a smirk on his face. "Wouldn't be a Dwarven birth if there wasn't," He added and I rolled my eyes and shook my head as a knock sounded on the door which Tauriel had closed after Dwalin had entered it.
"Come in!" I called out and the door opened slowly, Thorin entering my room looking a bit uncertain if he should be there or not or as if he was waiting for something to be thrown at him. "Adad," I said and Thorin smiled at me as he entered the room fully and shut the door behind him.
"Mizimith," Thorin greeted me walking forward and coming to stand at the end of my bed. "How do you fair?" He asked me in concern as he raised one eyebrow and I rubbed a hand over my bump.
"We're just fine. Got a little surprise is all," I told him and Thorin chuckled at that.
"Your Imad did as well. When she was pregnant with Fili, her water broke when she was in the middle of a meeting with the Dwarven Lords. They had to help her and call for Oin. When she was pregnant for Kili her water broke in the middle of a dance," Thorin told me and I laughed at that shaking my head.
"Always giving her trouble," I told him before I rubbed my bump again. "At least it happened when I was at home," I added and Thorin nodded.
"If you are well, I shall join the others," Thorin told me and I nodded, smiling at him widely.
"I am, there's not much more anyone can do right now but wait," I told Thorin who nodded in understanding having gone through this twice with Dis.
"I'll pass the news on to the others," Thorin told me and I thanked him and he left, leaving me with Oin, Tauriel, and my husband. Oin began collecting more towels directing Tauriel who wanted to help him and Oin also called for food from the kitchens.
I told him that I had just eaten and wasn't hungry, but he said that I should try to eat something again as I probably would not want to eat later and I needed to have as much strength as possible for the twins. Bombur personally brought me food which consisted of a large portion of meat, root vegetables that were cooked in butter and herbs, a large portion of an apple pie with dried plums and apricots in it. I dutifully ate as much as I could finishing over two thirds of the plate and Oin was satisfied enough with that and let me go back to trying to breath through my contractions.
Dwalin had dressed down to just his tunic and trousers and had slipped into bed beside me, pulling me into his chest and allowing me to lay back on him leaning on him for strength. I closed my eyes and ended up dozing for a short while. When I woke up Dwalin was still holding me close to his chest and Oin and Tauriel had taken up residence in chairs close to our bed. I turned my face into Dwalin's chest and groaned as a contraction took over me and Dwalin ran a hand over my arm, trying to comfort me.
"How long did I sleep?" I asked Dwalin as I turned my head, lifting a hand to my face to rub a hand over it.
"Just an hour," Dwalin answered me and I groaned again and closed my eyes, dropping my face back into his chest. "Are yah alright?" Dwalin asked me and I nodded before turning my head and I snuggled up into his chest, putting my hands over his which were protecting my bump.
"I'm fine, I'm just tired and cranky," I answered him and he chuckled slightly before he kissed the top of my head. I turned and looked up at him and I reached up with one hand and laid it on his cheek, rubbing my thumb over it and the top of his beard.
I pushed myself slightly forward and pressed my lips to his and Dwalin leaned down and pressed his lips more firmly to mine. My fingers traveled lower, tangling into Dwalin's beard which spurred him on and I sighed into the kiss and Dwalin took advantage of that fact to slip his tongue into my mouth. They easily tangled together in a dance we knew quite well by now and we broke apart only when we both needed air. I smiled in contentment as our twins kicked under our linked hands which rested over my bump, the three of us having one of the last moments we would have together like this while the twins were inside of me.
"Less cranky now," I told Dwalin with a smile as I looked up at him and Dwalin smiled down at me.
"Aye, are yah now?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow and I nodded before I leaned in and rubbed my nose against his.
"Mmm hmm," I hummed, kissing his chin before I pulled back. "I gotta pee," I said then, feeling the twins sitting on my bladder which was screaming at me now and Dwalin rolled his eyes, chuckling and Tauriel was on her feet and over by the side of the bed almost instantly. She offered me a hand and helped me to my feet before escorting me to the bathroom. Peeing while having contractions was weird but I managed it and Tauriel helped me back to bed where Oin was waiting.
"Let's check yah again, lass," Oin told me and I nodded and scooted back, lifting my knees up and getting into position.
"Check what?" Dwalin asked in confusion and I closed my eyes, knowing that this was going to be interesting to explain to him.
"How far dilated I am. I have to be ten centimeters dilated before I can start pushing. Basically, my cervix which is part of my vag...," I began to explain and Dwalin waved me off, his other hand covering his eyes.
"I don't think I want tah know," Dwalin told me and I snorted and rolled my eyes at his childlike behaviour.
"The mysteries of a woman's body are not for everyone to know, lass," Oin told me with a wink and I shook my head as he started to reach to check how dilated I was.
"What in Mahal's name do yah think yer doin'?!" Dwalin raged, knocking his hand away from me and I slapped a hand over my face.
"Checkin' how far along she is," Oin shouted back to Dwalin who was red in the face.
"Well yer not doin' it that way!" Dwalin shouted at him, and my eyes met Tauriel's and I could see her trying to hide a smile.
"How do you think it's done?" Oin shouted at my husband and Dwalin floundered around as he tried to come up with a logical answer.
"Yah ask," He finally said and Oin gave him an "are you stupid" look.
"I have tah examine her. There's only one place a bairn comes out so there's only one place to examine," Oin told my husband who seemed to be fighting with himself, his face and neck still very red.
"Yah can't be serious," Dwalin said and I beat my hand against my forehead a few times before holding my hands up between my husband and Oin.
"He's serious, Dwalin. I don't exactly like flashing everyone, but Oin's right. He has to examine me and there is only one place to examine. So just chill," I told my husband, putting a hand on his arm and Dwalin huffed loudly, not looking happy at all, but calming down.
Oin nodded and I sat back and lifted my knees once more and I looked up towards the ceiling as Oin checked me once more, noticing that Dwalin was looking purposefully away as well, his hands clenched into fists. Oin stepped back from the bed and walked over to a basin of water to wash his hands as I rearranged my nightgown and Dwalin let out a large breath he had been holding.
"Nearly five centimeters now. If yah continue like this it might only be another five hours," Oin informed me and I groaned at that. "That's still moving faster than some, lass. Dis was in labor for over fourteen hours for Fili and over eighteen for Kili," Oin told me and my eyes widened in surprise at that. I couldn't even imagine being in labor for that long.
"Poor Imad, they really have been trouble all their lives," I said as I laid my head back down on Dwalin's shoulder, Dwalin having laid back down beside me, drawing me in close to him so that I could get comfortable.
"Aye, never given her a moment of rest," Oin told me with a chuckle before he returned to his chair. We all returned to waiting then and I was just falling asleep again when I was awoken by a loud cheer coming from our living room.
I rolled my eyes before pressing my face into Dwalin's chest as Oin got up to tell the others to quiet it down. They cheered loudly when Oin entered the living room and I heard raised voices, Oin no doubt giving them a verbal thrashing before he came back in and sat back down. I drifted off to sleep. Dozing for another hour or so before waking up and trying to breath through the pain as the contractions got more intense the closer they got together.
Hours passed and not much seemed to be happening, my dilation slowing down, and I was so over this, just wanting to start pushing. Oin made a tea that he said would help in relaxing me and should help with the pain of the contractions and might speed up my dilation. I tried it, willing to try anything at this point. It did indeed help with some of the pain of contractions and I felt a little more relaxed, which was one positive thing about it. Oin got up to check me not long after and the news I had been waiting to hear since I found out I was in labor was finally given to me.
"Yer at ten centimeters," Oin told me as he looked up from where he was making his examination. "I'd say it's time to start pushing," He added and I blew out a deep breath I didn't even know I had been holding.
"Are you sure?" I asked him and Oin nodded. "I don't know if I can do this," I said and Tauriel was at my side, her hand slipping into mine.
"You can do this," Tauriel told me and Dwalin nodded as he gripped my other hand tightly.
"Come on amrâlimê, we'll do this together," Dwalin told me and he carefully had me sit up before he slipped behind me and lowered me back until I was leaning up against his chest. I gripped both of his hands tightly and closed my eyes as I leaned my head back against his chest.
"Okay," I said and I allowed Oin and Tauriel to help me get into position. Oin cleared away the furs which had been covering me and he laid some towels underneath me, instructing Tauriel to bring over the pot of boiling water and the knife as he helped me get my legs into position.
"When yah feel the need to push, push and push hard lass," Oin told me and I nodded taking deep and steadying breaths. When my next contraction started I felt the need to push and I took a deep breath before bearing down, pushing with everything that I had. A sharp searing pain erupted through my loins along with the cramping sensation of the contraction and I gritted my teeth and let out a strangled scream as I continued to push until the urge to passed. "That's it lass, exactly that," Oin told me and I nodded, waiting for the next contraction to come.
I didn't have to wait long, the next contraction coming almost instantly and I bared down once more, gritting my teeth and screaming through the pain, Oin and Dwalin telling me to just scream as loud as I wanted to. I squeezed Dwalin's hands and when I finished pushing my head fell back onto his chest. With the next contraction I bore down, smelling the coppery tang of blood in the air and all I could think about was the battlefield.
"You've got this, amrâlimê," Dwalin told me over and over as he wiped a cool cloth over my brow and I nodded, already tired, but I continued pushing even if it seemed like it was doing nothing.
"There yah are, lass. I see a head," Oin finally said and I laughed in disbelief. I could feel the head too and on the next push I couldn't hold back the loud scream that burst from my mouth.
My pushing paid off in the end when Oin finally held up a baby for Dwalin and me to see. The baby began crying loudly and Oin slapped him or her on the butt before he vigorously wiped off the bodily fluids from them and handed the baby off to Tauriel who wrapped the baby in a handmade blanket. She carried the baby over to me carefully then and I held out my arms and she placed the baby carefully in them, beaming down at me.
"A girl," Tauriel told me and I looked down at my baby who was crying shrilly, a good set of lungs on her and I beamed before I showed the baby, my daughter, to Dwalin who gazed down at her in wonder.
"Our daughter," I told Dwalin who was gazing down at her in awe, his eyes wide and he lifted a hand and with one finger gently touched her own smaller hand.
"She's so tiny," Dwalin said and I nodded as I stared down at my daughter, in awe myself. She already had a head full of hair which was a dark brown and her lips were puckered, seeking a nipple.
"I think I have a name for her," I said as I looked up at my husband and Dwalin looked away from our daughter, meeting my gaze and he raised an eyebrow at me.
"Aye?" He asked me and I smiled as I looked back down at our daughter.
"Reyna. It means peaceful queen," I told Dwalin and Dwalin seemed to mull the name over for several moments before he nodded in agreement.
"Aye, Reyna," He agreed and I looked down at our daughter, our Reyna.
"Our beautiful girl," I said before groaning as another contraction gripped me and Oin who had been waiting for the second baby to make itself be known asked Tauriel to take the baby from me and take care of her.
I began pushing once more and after half an hour of pushing with nothing, no signs of the baby or anything happening I could tell that Oin was starting to get worried. I was beginning to lose my strength and I was almost too tired to keep pushing. Oin finally had me stop pushing and he checked me once more, feeling the baby on the outside as he checked me internally as well.
"I think perhaps the baby is breech," Oin finally said and I worried my bottom lip, knowing the dangers of birthing a breech baby. That was if the baby could come out on its own. The cord could be wrapped around its neck, there could be a lot of problems. I could try and walk Oin through a C-section, but I didn't know if I could survive that, not to mention Dwalin would kill Oin tried that.
I could already see Dwalin demanding to know why Oin was butchering his wife and I knew he would have many supporters so that idea had to be thrown out of the window. I wracked my brain trying to think about what to do and then I remembered that it was possible to turn a baby while still in the womb, it just was difficult, painful, and had to be done with care.
Dwalin was freaking out behind me but he couldn't move as I was still leaning against his chest. I knew that he felt like his worst fears were coming true so I was trying to remain calm so as not to alarm him. If I was calm then he would be calm or at least that was what I hoped.
"Tauriel," I said, gritting my teeth through the next contraction and Tauriel looked up from where she was rocking the baby, trying to sooth her. "I need you," I told the Elf and she was on her feet instantly and she walked over to the cradle and put my daughter down before she hurried to my side.
"What can I do?" Tauriel asked me and I sighed out a deep breath.
"If the baby is breech it is possible to turn the baby while still in the womb, but it has to be done very carefully and by someone with small hands," I explained and I looked up at Oin who was frowning as he listened to my explanation. "It's the only chance we've got," I told her and Oin hummed, not sounding happy about it, but resigned to that fact that it was the only option we had.
"I'm no healer, but I do have some skill with healing," Tauriel told me as she sat beside me on the bed. "I will do what I can," She told me, trying to assure me that everything was going to be alright.
"I trust you," I told her and she looked a bit more at ease by my words.
"Tell me what to do," She told me and I nodded, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves.
"On the next contraction you need to try and reach up until you feel the baby and attempt to gently turn them so they are facing head down. Then when I start pushing you need to help guide the baby's head towards the birth canal so they stay turned in the right direction," I explained to Tauriel and she nodded in understanding before taking a deep breath and letting it out.
"Are yer sure that's how it's supposed to be done?" Oin asked me and I nodded as I gritted my teeth through the pain.
"Yes, I've never had to do it myself, but I've assisted on a few births where the baby was breech before the doctor I trained under died. He employed the same method. The only other way is not one you would like and not one I think I can go through myself, but if this doesn't work we have to try it," I explained and Oin raised an eyebrow at my words.
"And that would be?" He asked me and I took a deep breath knowing that he and my husband would not like this.
"It's called a cesarean section where I'm from and it is usually performed under mild sedation. It's...usually it has to be performed when a mother cannot physically give birth, either when a baby is too big or she is too tired to keep pushing after a long labor. Most often it happens in the case of twins," I said, stalling in my explanation and Oin seemed to realize it.
"What exactly does this method entail?" Oin asked me and I grimaced, preparing myself for both his and my husband's outrage.
"An incision is made across here," I said, gesturing where the incision was made. "And then a second incision is made in the actual uterus and the baby is cut from the womb before everything is stitched back up," I explained and I closed my eyes when the raging began.
"They butcher yah?!" My husband practically shouted in my ear and I lifted a hand to my ear and rubbed it and he seemed to realize that he had practically just popped my eardrum.
"It's not butchering if it is done right," I told my husband firmly. "As it is, it is only done when no other option presents itself. When done correctly, both mother and child survive," I told him and he shook his head behind me.
"It's not happenin'," He growled lowly and I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"I don't like it any more than you, but I am not losing my baby, our baby," I told him as I looked over my shoulder at him and I rubbed his arm which was wrapped around my waist in a firm hold over my bump comfortingly. "We still have one other option," I said and I turned back to Tauriel who looked slightly uncertain and I caught one of her hands in my own and squeezed it tightly in my own.
"I trust you," I reminded her and Tauriel took a deep breath before nodding. I settled back against Dwalin and drew my knees back further and I took each of Dwalin's hands and settled them around my knees, having him help me draw them back as I tried to relax, knowing that would make that easier for Tauriel. "On the next contraction we try this," I told Tauriel and she nodded again. "No matter how much I scream you keep going," I added and Tauriel looked uncertain but she finally nodded once more.
I took a few steadying breaths, trying to get in the right mental state for this and when the next contraction started I told Tauriel and she slipped her hands up into me and I felt her begin her search for the baby. I gritted my teeth in pain before crying out as I felt her begin to turn the baby, a look of determination on her face. I screamed, unable to stop myself and the pain only increased and I threw my head back, laying it on Dwalin's chest. I stopped myself from verbally pleading for it to stop as tears ran down my face and Tauriel finally stopped and looked up at me.
"The baby's head is turned down," She informed me and I cried in relief, the contraction passed as she held the baby in position.
"Push with everything yah got on the next one," Oin told me as he stood by my side and I nodded my head, trying to breath in and out as Dwalin leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
When the next contraction wracked through my body I pressed my chin to my chest and pushed with everything I had, screaming bloody murder as intense pain shot through my loins. I could feel Tauriel helping to guide the baby's head as I pushed and I only got the baby partially out on that contraction having to wait for a second to start pushing again. After the second, the head was sitting between my pelvic bone and it took a third contraction to get the head out and a fourth to get the shoulders out and on the fifth, our second baby was brought into the word, Tauriel catching our babe and wrapping them quickly in a clean towel.
I heard our second babe's cries as she toweled off their face and I cried in relief and joy and Dwalin let go of my legs as I fell back against him utterly spent. He wrapped his arms around me, protecting me and supporting me as I was unable to hold myself up. Oin checked over our babe and then he brought our little one over to us and gently as anything offered them to me. Dwalin carefully laid our second child in my arms and the pain of their birth quickly passed as I looked down into my little one's face.
"You have a son," Oin informed us and I cried at that, looking down at the face of our son whose face was scrunched up as he cried and I cooed at him and gently ran a finger over his cheek and he began to settle down his cries quieting as he found the comfort he needed.
"Finn," I said as I looked down at our son and then I looked back up at Dwalin who was gazing down at our son with a look of awe on his face. "What do you think?" I asked my husband and he smiled at me as he finally tore his gaze away from our son.
"Aye, Finn," He told me, and I could hear the emotion in his voice as he spoke. Tauriel walked over with our daughter and gently handed her to me and Dwalin helped me to hold her so that both our babes were nestled together, one in each arm.
"Reyna and Finn," I said as I looked down at my children. "Mummy loves you so much," I told them before I leaned in and kissed them both on the forehead, Reyna stirring a little in her sleep and Finn reaching for me with his hands.
Dwalin and I spent some time just staring at our little ones before Tauriel and Oin carefully took them back to their cradle. Tauriel then got me to my feet for a brief moment and she helped me change into a clean nightgown as Oin and Dwalin stripped our bed and changed the bed clothes while I sat in a chair. I was tucked into bed after that and Oin ordered for food to be brought to me with orders that I eat and then get as much sleep as I could. I gently cradled first Reyna and then Finn in my arms, each of them quickly latching on to my breasts and once they had had their fill they fell asleep almost instantly.
Oin didn't like the idea of me receiving visitors so soon, but I knew that I had a room full of very worried family members that were all awaiting news of the twins and so as soon as the twins were fed I had Dwalin bring Thorin in first. He was quiet when he stepped inside the room and he looked to the bed first and I put a finger over my lips asking him to be quiet and he nodded. He walked around the bed to me and he kissed the top of my head and then he looked into the cradle that had been moved closer to me and a smile spread over his face.
"A boy and a girl," I told my Uncle in a quiet voice as he stared down at my children in awe. Rayna and Finn," I told him, pointing to each of my children in turn.
"Fine names," Thorin told me before he turned back to the bed. "How do you fair, mizimith?" He asked me with a look of concern on his face.
"I'm tired. Finn was determined to be difficult just like his father. He was breech so we had to employ a method to turn him," I explained to Thorin and he raised an eyebrow and frowned in confusion.
"I've never heard of such a birth being successful," Thorin said and I nodded in understanding.
"I was definitely lucky," I told him tiredly. "The doctor I apprenticed under delivered several breech babies and I assisted him. I was able to explain to Tauriel how to turn Finn the right way round," I explained and Thorin nodded in understanding.
"I'm glad that everything turned out for the best," Thorin told me and he looked back at the twins and he raised a hand and ran a finger down Rayna's peacefully sleeping face. "She'll be as beautiful as her mother," He said and I smiled up at my Uncle and reached out, taking one of his hands in my own.
"You'll be their grandfather, won't you?" I asked Thorin and he looked back at me, his eyes slightly widened in surprise. I had called him their ugmil' adad when I had first told him about the twins, but I hadn't officially asked him to be their grandfather.
"If that is what you want," Thorin told me and I nodded, squeezing his hand.
"You're like a father to me Thorin. Without...without adad…," I said, swallowing thickly as I remembered that my father would never get to meet either of my children. "I know you will love them and they'll love you as I do," I said and Thorin squeezed my hand in return.
"I would be honored to be their ugmil'adad," Thorin told me and I closed my eyes, a few tears escaping and sliding down my cheeks and Thorin bent down and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
"I love you, adad," I told Thorin and Thorin smiled down at me.
"I love you, mizimith," Thorin said and then he squeezed my hand once more before releasing it. "You should get some rest," He told me then and I nodded tiredly.
"I will, but want to see everyone first," I told him and Thorin looked like he didn't like this, but he nodded. "Was there much betting going on?" I asked him then with an amused smile on my face.
"More than even you would think. I believe I owe Kili some coin," Thorin told me, looking unamused and I laughed at that brightly.
"What did he bet?" I asked Thorin curiously.
"A girl and a boy. Most believed it would be two boys, some still thought you were just having one bairn," Thorin informed me and I grinned widely.
"I thought it would be two boys myself, but now we have a little princess to dote on," I said and I smiled as I looked over at my sleeping daughter.
"And she will be," Thorin said and he looked back down at the twins once more before returning his gaze to me. "Who would you like me to send in next?" He asked as I settled back against the pillows a little more, trying to get a little more comfortable, knowing that I was about to get bombarded by everyone.
"Great Grandfather please," I told him, wanting Thrain to know that even though he had been apart from us so long, he was still a member of this family.
Recently it seemed hard for him to return to normal life. He spent most of his days resting, still not back to himself yet. Too much activity overstimulated his mind, over exciting him and he would start shaking badly and would run to the nearest corner of the room and start cowering in fear, his mind returning to the horrors he faced during his years in captivity.
Gandalf continued to speak with him, trying to free his mind of the torment and when I had been told by Pin not to go far, I had invited Thrain to spend the days with me. Thrain seemed to do the best in mine and Thorin's company along with Balin's. It wasn't that he disliked Fili or Kili but he didn't know them.
He tried, he really did try to get to know them both, but he was more comfortable around people he knew. While I was older, a stranger to him as I was not the dwarfling he remembered, I was still as he called me, his mizimelûh. When Thrain got too excited I would distract him by catching his attention and drawing it back to the present by letting him feel the twins kicking and it always calmed him. He would get such a look of delight on his face and then go back to talking as if nothing had happened.
"I will send him in, he's been rather anxious," Thorin informed me and I nodded in understanding. Thorin leaned over and pressed another kiss to the top of my head before he walked to the door and stuck his head through. I heard him talking in a low voice and then he opened the door wider and Thrain cautiously entered the room, his eyes anxiously scanning the length of the room as was his habit, checking for danger, before he relaxed.
He's eyes lit up when he saw me and he limped over towards the bed as a smile spread widely over my face.
"Mizimelûh," Thrain said as he approached me and I reached out a hand beckoning him closer to the side of the bed.
"Udâd ugmil'adad,"I answered Thrain, taking his hand which he slipped into mine and squeezing his hand.
"How are yah?" He asked me worriedly as he looked me over and I squeezed his hand once more in what I hoped was a comforting gesture.
"I'm fine, more than fine," I assured him, before smiling more widely. "I want you to meet your great grandson and daughter," I told him, my eyes instantly looking over to the wooden crib that was positioned near my side of the bed.
"Granddaughter?" He asked me, his eyes going wide as I released his hand and he shuffled over to the side of the crib so he could look down into it, Dwalin stepping up closer so that he could assist if he was needed.
"Aye," My husband answered for me and Thrain met Dwalin's eyes and smiled very warmly.
"When Ferin had Adaira he called her his little jewel, brighter than mithril. A son is nothing to spit at of course. Thorin and Frerin were as much my joys as their sister Dis, but a daughter lights up your life in ways a son never can. Cherish them both. I know only too well the pain of losin' yer children," Thrain told us both and I closed my eyes at his words, feeling the sharp pain at the loss of my father not being here to see my children and then opened them and nodded.
"Thank you," I told Thrain before I reached out and put a hand on his arm. "It might not be the same, but you will always have a place in their lives," I told him and Thrain smiled back at me before turning to look down at the twins.
"I'll always be grateful yah wish for me to have a place in their lives," Thrain said before he cheered slightly. "Now who is who?" He asked and I laughed at that, Dwalin taking over for me as he could see that I needed a moment. I laid back against the pillows, a hand pressed over my heart and rubbed at the familiar longing ache I felt there.
I missed my father so much. I hadn't ventured down to where his tomb or whatever you wanted to call it was since I had made my choice. I just couldn't bring myself to do that to myself. It was better to remember him as he was. I knew that Dwalin was especially grateful that he didn't have to drag me away from my father, have to keep me from pining away, but he knew how much pain I felt at his loss. We spoke about it often.
It used to annoy me that Dwalin would only answer me in grunts or single words, but I had come to realize that while Dwalin was a man of a few words, he was an exceptionally good listener. He knew when I needed to talk and he always would listen. He knew when something was bothering me too. It worked both ways though. I could always tell when something was eating at Dwalin. Usually when he was in those kinds of moods he wanted to hit something. If I hadn't been pregnant I would have asked him to spar but because I was he usually went at it with Thorin before he made his way home.
Once he got some of his pent up frustration out he usually was in more of a mood to work through things by talking it out with me. He had mentioned to me once after we had talked things over that I made it easier for him to work through his thoughts and figure things out. I wished that I could take my pent up anger and grief out on someone and just smack something until it was nothing more than dust. I was trying so hard, knowing my father was so close and yet so far was torture, especially now.
Dwalin cleared his throat, bringing me back to the present just in time for me to say my farewells to Thrain before Thorin returned to the room to act as the guardian of my door, blocking entry into my room unless I gave the word that I was up to receiving visitors. Thorin still had a frown on his face, not looking pleased which I wasn't too shocked about, this was Thorin after all.
"I know your Great Grandfather will have appreciated that," Thorin said as he rejoined us and then and I nodded in agreement. "Are you still up to receiving visitors?" He asked me and I hummed before answering him.
"I have enough energy for a few more," I answered him truthfully, feeling tired, but not to the point where I was going to pass out any minute now. "Could you send in Fili and Kili? Sigrid too if she is with Fili," I asked Thorin and he nodded his assent.
"I will send them in. Sigrid was here earlier, but she had to return home to her father," Thorin informed me and I hummed under my breath as I considered Fili and Sigrid's relationship for a moment before moving on and stuck his head through. I heard Thorin over by the door talking in a low voice and then he opened the door and Fili was pushed through the door by Kili, my brothers grinning from ear to ear as they came into my room.
"Namad!" Fili and Kili cheered loudly as soon as they saw me and I shushed them quickly and pointed towards the cradle and they both grimaced as they realized they might have woken the twins. I looked over at the twins who stirred in their sleep and I pulled the blanket up around them more and ran a hand over them before nodding at my brothers to assure them everything was alright.
"Sorry," Kili apologized as he pushed Fili up to the side of my bed and I smiled at him and Fili widely.
"It's alright, they're both asleep," I told them in a quiet voice.
"How are you feeling?" Fili asked me, looking slightly worried and I reached out and grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it.
"I'm alright, just tired," I assured him, knowing that it probably sounded like I was being murdered from the other room. "Do you want to meet your niece and nephew?" I asked Fili and Kili and Kili's face lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Niece and nephew?" He asked me and I nodded with a smile on my own face.
"You won the bet," I told him and he pumped his fist in the air. "Can you see?" I asked Fili, gesturing to the cradle and he nodded as he wheeled himself closer to the cradle.
"What did you name them?" Fili asked me as I pushed the blanket down a little lower so their faces were more easily visible.
"This is Rayna," I said as I ran a finger over her little chubby cheek. "And this is Finn," I said as I ran a finger over Finn's very hairy head. Finn's hair was coppery red and I could already tell that he would have my coloring. Rayna on the other hand had dark brown hair and I had a feeling she would look just like her daddy.
It was at that moment that the twins opened their eyes, their lips puckering as they blinked up at Fili and Kili and me and I smiled at my little ones as I saw Fili and Kili reduced to mush. They completely lost their tough guy, I'm a warrior exterior as they stared down at the twins and it melted my heart. I wished I had a camera to capture the moment, but I would just have to try and convert it to memory.
"Do you want to hold them?" I asked my brothers, and they looked up at me in unison, looking slightly unsure.
"Really?" Kili asked me and I nodded my assent.
"Come and sit here beside me," I told Kili as I pulled my legs out from under the furs and turned my body to the side, giving him room to sit beside me on the bed and Kili sat down beside me, looking slightly green. I carefully got to my feet, using the headboard to help pull myself to my feet and once I was sure that I wasn't going to fall over I took the extra two steps over to the cradle and gently lifted Rayna up from the cradle and stepped over to Fili.
"Just cradle your arms. Yes, like that," I told Fili as he did so and I lowered Rayna into his arms and he took her from me and looked down at Rayna a bit uncertain as I pulled my arms free. I returned to the cradle and picked up Finn, returning to the bed and sitting down next to Kili who looked very green.
"I'm gonna drop him," Kili said and I shook my head at that.
"You're not going to drop him," I assured Kili and then I showed him how to position his arms and then I carefully placed Finn into his arms and pulled my arms free. Kili stared down at Finn like he was terrified and awed at the same time.
"He's so tiny," Kili said as he stared down at my son and I nodded before looking over at Fili who was gently rocking my daughter.
"She's beautiful," Fili told me, looking up from my daughter's face.
"Thank you," I told my brother as Fili looked back down at Rayna and I looked over at Kili. "If it wasn't for Tauriel, Finn wouldn't be here," I told Kili and he looked up at me frowning in confusion.
"Why?" He asked me, the aforementioned Tauriel who had been watching our reunion from a chair coming closer when I beckoned for her to join us. She sat next to Kili and looked down at little Finn, smiling at him softly.
"Finn was facing the wrong way. I couldn't birth him on my own. Tauriel was the only one who could help me. She turned him in the womb so I could push him out. If she hadn't he might have died and I might have too," I explained to Kili and he turned to look at his wife, a look of love on his face and he leaned in and kissed her. When they pulled apart I reached forward and put a hand on Kili's arm and squeezed it.
I had explained to Dwalin about what Godparents were, Dwarves not having them and we had decided that Fili and Kili would be godparents for the twins due to their ages. We had considered Balin being one of their Godparents but as he was older than even Dwalin, he would have a hard time raising the twins should something happen to one of us. As it was, Balin would be their Uncle. Dwalin thought it was hilarious that Thorin was going to be the twins grandfather and he planned to bust Thorin's balls over it as much as he could.
"Dwalin and I want you and Tauriel to be Finn's godparents," I told Kili, looking between him and Tauriel and Tauriel's eyes widened in surprise as I included her in this requestand she and Kili looked over at Dwalin who was standing near the fireplace with his arms crossed and Dwalin nodded his head in confirmation before they looked back at me.
"Godparents?" Tauriel asked me and nodded. "What does this entail?" She asked me curiously.
"If something were to happen to Dwalin and I, you would become Finn's parents. Ensure he is loved and taken care of," I explained and Kili and Tauriel shared a look with one another.
"We would do that anyway," Kili told me and I smiled at my brother feeling tears well up in my eyes, my hormones still raging.
"I love you, Kee," I told my brother and he smiled back at me.
"Love you too, Adaira," He told me and I looked over at Fili next with a smile still on my face.
"Dwalin and I want you and Sigrid to be Rayna's godparents, Fili," I told my other brother and then I laughed when I saw his surprised expression. "Yah know...eventually she'll officially be their aunt," I told him and Fili rolled his eyes at me. I could see that his cheeks were slightly pink though. "You know I love yah, Fee," I told my brother with a laugh and he sat back in his wheelchair with Rayna in his arms and rolled his eyes again.
"Love yah namad," He told me and Rayna started fussing then so I saved Fili, taking her back from him and putting her back in her cradle. Finn as if sensing that his sister needed him began fussin too so Tauriel lifted him from Kili's arms and put him next to his sister for me and the two snuggled up next to one another and began sucking on their fingers, falling back to sleep.
I said goodbye to my brothers and got back into bed, Fili and Kili promising to visit me tomorrow when I had had some rest. They sent in Bilbo next who was accompanied by Gandalf. The wizard congratulated me on two fine healthy children, saying I truly was blessed by Mahal and both he and Bilbo lingered only so long as to inquire about my health and to greet the babes before departing.
Ori, Nori, and Dori were next and Ori practically cried when he saw that the twins were wrapped in the blankets he had knitted for them. Dori fussed over the twins and I saw Nori passing money off to Dwalin and I raised an eyebrow at my husband who only shrugged as a smirk crossed his face. Gloin slipped in next, congratulating his brother on another perfect delivery and me on a strong son and a beautiful daughter. Bofur and Bifur were next, both of them doting on the twins who blinked up at them, slightly awake. Everyone in the Company was turned to mush, hardened warriors nothing more than old ladies wanting to pinch baby cheeks.
Bombur came in last carrying another large tray of food for me and once he had set it down he greeted the twins. As a father himself, especially a father of twins, he was, like Gloin, the most sure-handed when holding the twins. Once he left I ate the very rare piece of meat I had been brought and surprised myself with how much I ate before I finally let sleep take over me, comforted in the knowledge that Dwalin was sitting up watching the twins. He kissed me on the forehead as I started to fall asleep, whispering to me that he would be there and to just rest.
Now I knew what love was. Love was seeing my husband look at my son and daughter as if they had hung the moon. Love was watching hardened warriors completely turn to mush around babies. Love was holding your baby in your arms. I now felt love in so many more infinite ways than I had before. I knew love. My love for Dwalin was more than I could ever express, but the moment I had seen my son and daughter I knew that I would kill for them. I knew that I would move heaven and earth to protect them. I would kill for Dwalin, I would protect him, but this was different. This love was different. I had made these amazing people with my own body. They were half me and half Dwalin and they were my entire world.
Over a year ago I had been alone, the only single woman on an island, that was rain battered and wind swept, the furthermost point of the outermost spray that was the curling wave of the Outer Hebrides. Fate had intervened, and all because of a sheep, the one creature I most dreaded. Now, I was married and a mother. A Princess of Durin's lined a family again, a people, a home and I would not give that up for anything. I pitied the fool who tried to take it from me because I knew the strength I had in me now and I would fight, kill, cheat, and steal if that meant keeping what I had.
Khuzdul:
Mizimith- Little jewel
Adad- Father
Amrâlimê- My love
Namad- Sister
Birashagimi- I'm sorry literally I regret
Men lananubukhs menu- I love you
Amadel- Mother of all mothers
Imad- Aunt
Ugmil'adad-Grandfather
Mizimelûh-Jewel of all jewels
Udâd ugmil'adad -Greatest of grandfathers
Gaelic:
Mo chridhe- My heart