Chapter Seventy-Seven

Wiesshaupt

(Surprise twist - viewer discretion is advised)

Alistair, Fenris, Sebastian, Rain and Hawke all journeyed with me. We were riding on the backs of Griffons – Fenris rode with Sebastian, Hawke rode with Rain, I rode with Alistair, and I also carried the Griffon Cub that I would be presenting to the Lord Warden. No – he never told me his name. Alistair didn't know it either since everyone just called the man, 'Lord Warden' or 'The First Warden' or something.

I could see people pointing and gaping as we landed with three full grown Griffons. I had chosen this – rather than riding a Wyrm or a Drake or something – as a show of power. Griffons were a symbol of the Grey Wardens – I was showing them what a fruitful cooperation could mean in the long term. When we landed, I looked at the three griffons and said, "Behave, but don't let them harm you."

None of the Wardens stepped forward at first so I picked three that felt more awe and reverence than envy to care for them. The Lord Warden was watching us in awe, himself. I was petting the cub in my arms – it was a grey and white griffon with blue eyes.

My eyes landed on a man – 5'7 with honey-blonde hair that hung in loose curls around his shoulders, and blue eyes with beautiful gold flecks with lovely pointed ears. My breath caught, "Caronel…"

He looked surprised but extended a hand, "Not sure we've met, my lady."

"You fled Ferelden after Ostagar when humans attacked the alienage and burned down the shop owned by your mother – a shoemaker. I offer my sincere apologies for the loss of your mother; but this is where you need to be."

"You must be the Prophetess then – The First Warden has spoken of you; and your unusual request to see a specific woman."

I glanced around and my eyes found her – Fiona was 5'5 with cropped black hair and grey-green eyes that made her lightly tanned skin shine. I smiled at her and looked back to Caronel, "I found her."

The First Warden came up to us, "Fiona has agreed – mostly out of curiosity – to allow you a private conversation in her rooms."

"When I leave here, you will allow her to leave too – she will never be able to re-undertake the Joining, Lord Warden. No one that is cured of the Taint can ever bear the taint again – and as I'm sure you're aware, their blood also cannot make a cure. Fiona will return to the Montsimmard Circle of Magi after this."

He nodded, "As you say, Empress Arvaala."

"Ara – I go by Ara," I corrected with a small smile and passed him the Griffon Cub.

Alistair said, "My wife didn't name her – so you are given full naming privilege of your new Griffon. However – my wife also plans to check in on this cub every so often to make sure you are treating her right; if you are not, then the Griffon will return to Danu. This book was provided by an Earth Sylph that cares exclusively for griffons – if you follow this book to the letter, then you should be fine. As to the Griffons we rode here today, we will also be leaving with them. This is a chance, Lord Warden – I wouldn't want to be you if you fuck this up."

The Lord Warden nodded while cradling the Griffon in his arms like it was his firstborn child. Perhaps things might work out after all…

I headed toward Fiona and extended my hand, "Fiona – it's an honor to finally meet you. I brought your son with me…"

She paled, "I…"

Fenris stepped up and muttered, "I'm playing that part."

She instantly relaxed – realizing we were not going to out Alistair to the Wardens – and said, "Oh… uh… this way…"

I could see the jaws dropping and heard someone whisper, "This makes Fiona… the Empresses' mother-in-law. No wonder she wanted to meet her."

I smirked.

Once we were in her rooms, Fiona whirled, "If you know he is my son then you know what I made Maric promise."

I snorted, "To raise him normally and away from the throne? Yeah – I know. But here's the thing – he was made a Grey Warden by Duncan 6 months before Ostagar. If Alistair stayed as a Grey Warden, he would have died saving my life. It was either throw his ass on the throne or watching one of the men I love die to save me. So excuse you, very much, but I wanted him to live. And as for knowing you are his mother, Alistair values family. The bitch that he was told was his sister would have tried to take his money and leech off of him – as it is, to keep up the ruse, my foster brother took in the three kids of that bitch that lived past the Blight. Alistair wanted to meet you, so here we are. And to make things go more smoothly, I asked my Elven mate to play the part of your long lost son so that no one would question why I keep in contact with you or why my son will eventually call you 'Grandma'. By the way – we plan to name him Duncan Maric Theirin."

She stumbled and fell into sitting on her bed as Alistair made me sit in the chair across from her.

Fiona looked so pale as she said, "He… he would die if…?"

"I couldn't let that happen. And it was the reason Alistair allowed Loghain to live – Loghain will take Alistairs place in dying to save my life when that time comes."

Fiona sighed, "Then I can't be angry with you for putting him into a place that even his father never wanted. Tell me one thing, Alistair – are you happy?"

Alistair nodded, "Since I met Ara, I couldn't be happier. I'm married to the woman I love, I have a son on the way, and now I'm learning that my mother is alive and I get to meet her. I'm more than happy – I'm euphoric. Sure – I could do without the crown, but it does allow me to spoil her and eventually spoil our son. I got to say though – putting me with Eamon was maybe not the best idea. I am told that being raised in Kennels and told I'll never be anything is not how you raise a bastard."

Fiona looked pissed, "Kennels?"

I snorted, "Eamon got one hell of a verbal beat-down from me for that one. And then they packed him off to the Templars when he hit age 10! Alistair hated it, Fiona! Alistair actively had to hold me back from slapping the man last month when my mood hit anger when I caught sight of Alistairs' cut ears one night. I mean, I've seen them before, but… pregnancy made it so that I just boiled over about it. Fenris had to get me a chocolate bar to calm me down."

Fiona was gritting her teeth, "Eamon should know better than to mess with the child of a Mage."

"I'm pretty sure Eamon spent 3 hours groveling while I cried because the chocolate was so good," I sighed – not my best moment. I was in literal tears because oh my goddess, chocolate was so good.

Then again – with Levi, I cried because 'these aren't sloppy joes, these are pulled pork sandwiches'… no, they are not the same thing, and I stand by that fit.

Hawke sniggered, "I heard about it later on – and Eamon flinches each time he sees her now."

Alistair knelt beside me and said, "This woman… she has done everything she can for me. She got Duncan to give me something to remember him by when I thought of him like a father. She assured me that I do deserve to be loved when she realized how I worried about losing her. She endured so much for me, Fi… mom… I love her. And I guess… I sort of… want your approval?"

I ran my hand through Alistairs' hair – I never noticed the red highlights before… it was really cute.

Fiona looked thoughtful, "How could I not approve of a woman that worked so hard to save your life – a woman… who did what she could to not only set up a meeting when you asked, but also provided a cover so no one would… I approve, Alistair – because all I ever wanted was for you to grow up happy and loved; though if Duncan were still alive, I'd give him an earful for putting you in the Wardens."

"It was that or Alistair would be miserable as a Templar. That was why Duncan conscripted him – Alistair showed he was miserable as a Templar recruit. The Revered Mother didn't want to let Alistair go willingly – turns out that Alistair had amazing potential as a Templar and would have been a great Knight-Commander one day – so Duncan had to use the Right of Conscription."

Alistair laughed at my words, "And boy was that Mother pissed. Still, being a Warden, I felt I finally found somewhere that I belonged. Then finding you was the best thing to ever happen to me."

I leaned over and kissed him. I was 4 months along and still not showing – I would soon though; 5 months was where it was obvious with Levi – but I hadn't started to show until 4 and a half months.

My nose twitched and my head snapped to the door. I stood and opened it – seeing someone with a tray on the other side. They froze – they had been walking past. I pointed, "What is that?"

The woman cleared her throat, "Er… it's a soup that… is traditional here… in the Anderfels?"

"What's in it?"

"Er… mostly sheep meat and broth with a few veggies and spices native to the Wandering hills that separate us from the Donnarks in the north… may I ask why?"

"It smells like my new craving. I'm pregnant," I sighed. The woman looked startled, "Oh… well, I don't mind going back for a new bowl – you can have this one…"

I lit up, "Really?"

She held out the tray that held the bowl of soup, a spoon and chunk of bread, "Yes… I had a kid before Joining the Wardens – I know how cravings are."

I beamed, "Thank you so much!"

I was sitting back at the desk happily munching in no time. Fiona was actually smiling, "I craved cheese with Alistair – it didn't matter what kind, but I just had to have cheese."

I snorted and Alistair flushed, "Well – I guess that's where I get my love of cheese from."

I reached over and ruffled his hair, "Honey, I love you."

"That's good – because it is far too late to get rid of me…" he gave me a cheeky grin. I snorted, "Yeah – can't return something without the receipt and you didn't come with one. That's okay – I plan to keep you."

Fenris chuckled deeply, "It is things like this that make me glad to know you."

"I'm keeping you too, Fenris – you married my ass, you get to deal with the consequences."

Sebastian shook his head, "I can only hope to be counted among the ones you 'keep'."

Fiona looked confused, "I had heard that Fae usually take many spouses… actually, the Sylphs that arrived with the Lord Warden last week sought me out and filled me in on all things Danu. I couldn't figure out why – until the Lord Warden told me that you planned to visit and have a chat with me. I was so confused – I had never met you and I didn't think you knew about my son being Alistair… but here we are. Are all of these men…?"

"No – Alistair and Fenris are my mates; Sebastian is my boyfriend at the moment, but he isn't a primary mate; and Hawke is no longer dating me now that Cullen has his head dislodged from his arse. Rain is my personal Healer and he follows me like a shadow while I'm pregnant."

"Who is… Cullen?"

"He's the Knight-Captain at the Gallows in Kirkwall. He was actually tortured by mages not that long ago and… broke up with me when he found out that I have these abilities as a Fae. Hawke was my fake boyfriend to make Cullen realize that he was being an ass."

Hawke shrugged, "I will happily admit that I was hoping to use the last resort to get his head dislodged, but… oh well."

I shook my head, "I'm… huh; I guess I am that great of a bed partner. I mean, as a former sex slave, I certainly had to know how to please people. Fiona would know if anyone here would."

Fiona flinched, "You know far more about me than I would have thought."

Alistair frowned, "Who was the ass – I'll kill him."

"Too late," Fiona and I said together. She motioned to me so I explained, "That's how Fionas' magic awakened – she killed the man; Comte Dorian of Orlais. She was 14 when her magic woke and killed him, almost killing her too. Instead of leaving her to die or summoning the city guard, the man' widow sent her to the Circle of Magi outside of Montsimmard. There, she was recruited into the Grey Wardens by Commander Genevieve after Fiona begged to be allowed to join – and she was there when Duncan and Riordan went through their Joinings too."

Alistair clenched his jaw, "Is it just my destiny to not be able to avenge the women in my life?"

I blinked, "I'd think you were glad that the women in your life didn't need rescuing."

"I am – but your brothers still enjoyed the luxury of living when you…" he sighed, "I just feel like I should do something."

I rolled my eyes, "I hadn't had contact with Jonas in 7 years and Gareth… well…"

Fiona was pale, "Your brothers?"

I shrugged, "It was… I was 20 when I got free – and we're coming up on my 30th birthday in like… 4 months. Duncan should be born in mid Bloomingtide – the due date is the 14th."

Alistair and I got married on our 'wedding' anniversary – Justinian 28th 9:32 Dragon. A month and a half later, we conceived. It was Haring now – a mere few days from First Day; Alistairs' birthday was in just over a week.

Fiona shook her head, "I fail to understand how family can abuse family."

"Well – one was a Sociopath – so… extremely antisocial, and with a lack of conscious. The other was acting out for some reason, I'm sure, but I was never given an answer as to why. Anyway, it's been a decade now – and I've had extensive therapy; I still have sessions with Rain twice a week. Sometimes it's just me detailing what happened all week from my point of view – other times it's me breaking down and dredging up another detail I hadn't said before about those 15 years."

Sebastian sighed, "Speaking of – you still need to tell the Knight-Captain about… what you enjoy… in bed, Ara."

I frowned, "I know – but I wasn't even the one that told Alistair or Fenris; I had someone else say it due to my own shame over the matter. I feel like I'm going to get sick again if I say it aloud to someone that doesn't know. I always fear how he's going to react – you know that he was… abused at Kinlock, right? He may not react very well."

Fenris snorted, "That's true – and you can reassure him as you did us that you don't need that. Look, he has a right to know."

I nodded, "And I will tell him if or when we get to a more intimate stage than flushing when we look at each other. We still need to get back into the courtship stage – right now we're just… awkwardly calling ourselves mates when he still won't touch me past snuggling to keep my nightmares away or passing me the gravy at dinner. I'm worried I pushed him too far too fast."

Rain chimed in, "She does have a reason to be worried – from her perspective, the last time she pushed she almost lost him; I refer you to when she slapped him back at the Gallows before I arrived in Kirkwall – he 'gave her space' and didn't seek her out at all. She had to go to him when he was in the wrong – and he knew he was wrong. But – in the interest of fairness – after he almost lost her in the thing with her depression roaring out with a vengeance, he may try to do anything to keep that from happening. He was told that she was willing to let him go – that he would never get her back if that happened. It gave him the shove he needed, yeah, but it also terrified him that he would truly lose the woman he loved. He may not completely believe he loves her, but he does. And this means he may be more accepting of your… wants, Ara."

I had to hand it to him – Rain knew how to play Devils' Advocate without breaking patient confidence. He used only things that I had said or pointed out; or that Hawke had.

I made a sound of annoyance, "Stop – I don't want a Devils' Advocate… I want to self-justify why I will never tell Cullen about this on my own and will likely delay anyone else from telling him either. Alistair does that for me on occation – but…"

Alistair gave me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, "We really only do that when you have a panic attack the previous time."

My shameful secret; I could get off the normal way, but sometimes normal made me panic. Alistair had discovered that being rougher on a more frequent basis stopped those panic attacks from being a common occurrence. I never had a panic attack if I was getting off during fantasy play. Rain theorized that being 'someone else' made it more pleasurable for me because I had been… forced… as 'myself'. In a weird way… it made sense.

"What are you… oh… you mean role playing?" Fiona asked.

Alistair flushed, "Not something I thought I would discuss with my mother."

I shrugged, "That's what moms are for, though. My mom – when I got curious about how things were supposed to be between two partners – bought me sex toys and naughty books as my education. Obviously by then she knew what had happened with Gareth since this was after his second stint of being caught."

Fiona gave me a motherly look, "I… what exactly do you role play that makes you feel so bad?"

"… Rape play," I sighed.

She nodded, "I can understand how that would make you feel worse, certainly. With Maric and me, it was usually noble and 'servant that walked in at the wrong moment'."

I laughed when Alistair coughed and said, "I don't need to know how I was conceived – thank you though."

Fiona laughed, "Fair enough. You know… if your father could have, he'd have abdicated the throne and run off with me. The Wardens would have hunted me down back then – still wanting to know how I was 'cured'. It was deemed better for me to leave you with him so that the Wardens didn't know… I couldn't let them have a hostage."

Alistair snorted, "Like father, like son. If Ara hadn't gotten me to swear I'd take the throne so that she didn't have to worry about explaining to our future children that daddy was 'trapped somewhere and it wasn't known if he was dead or alive' then… I likely would have stayed a Warden so that I could trail after her like the love-sick puppy I am."

I rolled my eyes, "If you're love sick now… I can't wait to see what you're like holding our son… though, I do want more."

"I believe you requested to have at least five kids," Alistair grinned.

I chuckled at the look on Fenris' face, "At least one for each of my mates and one slot that was taken by our goddaughter. But I won't be upset if I have more than that… we'll live to be about 3-400 years old, after all… it would only be natural for us to have a whole clan one day."

Fiona nodded, "If I'd had the chance… well, I certainly wouldn't have stopped at one with Maric."

Alistair gave a sad nod, "It would have been nice having a bigger family – but things happen, I guess."

I smirked, "You already have a bigger family – you have me, Fenris, Cullen, Sebastian, our goddaughter and soon… our son. And…" a vision hit me.

I came out of it with a flush and shook my head shouting, "Son of a misbegotten goat!"

Alistair was instantly before me, holding my hands and looking worried, "Love?"

Fenris was also holding my shoulder, "What was it – what did you see?"

"Nothing bad – just highly… embarrassing… and fun… and wait… Rain – have all Queens had only four mates?"

"Never more, never less… why?" he asked.

"I just got a vision of me… with someone I called my mate… and mentioning that the 'others' were going to go nuts when they found out I had a fifth primary mate. I… oh, Goddess – I need water or… ice…"

Sebastian looked confused, "Ice?"

"To cool me off – that was a hot vision. It was me and him… mating and then just… cuddling together after while we talked about how you two and whoever else I was mated to at the time were going to throw a fit about it. The Avvar hold spirits up as gods – and this will be seen as done by spirits. Shit… well… this should be interesting. I wonder if my mate will be able to successfully kidnap me now that you're on alert about it."

"Wait what?" Alistair blinked.

Fenris replied, "The Avvar men go about securing brides by kidnapping them; they approach their brides' family or clan to announce their intentions first, but then… a warrior is expected to prove his skill by slipping into the hold and removing his new bride. If he gets caught on his first attempt he gets a beating. The second failure will lead to him being lunch for the hold-beast. In example, if I were to get caught twice trying to steal away Ara from Stone-Bear, then I assume I'd be lunch for a Bear."

"Her name is Storvacker – she's a Great Bear," I commented mildly.

"Yes – I'd be fed to Storvacker as lunch. Avvarian men may approach a lady directly if they wish to secure her agreement or assistance, and some women even make it known if there is a particular man from a clan that she desires. The farther away a mans' bride is from, the more… prestigious it is. Since each Avvar hold is made up of several extended-family clans, Avvars must often marry outside their hold to avoid their relatives, after all. If her mate managed to 'kidnap' Ara, then it might be enough to give him a very good foothold in the clan since she's not even from the same world, let alone the same continent." Fenris explained.

Rain continued, "Any time our people visited the Avvar, we did not hide our difference to elves – they hailed us as chosen ones for the gods. If we had wings, then we were hailed as champions to the 'Lady of the Sky' – even when we told them that we were not, they would not hear that. Also, they hold the belief some of their people are destined to be reborn and knowing our Queens are all reborn souls reaffirms that belief to them. When Avvars suffer, it seldom occurs to them to blame ill luck, but instead, to wonder which of the gods they have offended – and if they stumble into a windfall of good fortune, they believe they have appeased the gods. Ara will be seen as a messenger of the Lady of the Skies – her wings are feathered like a birds would be, and the Lady is goddess of all above Korth's domain, of birds and even the wind itself. She is also goddess of the dead – and Ara has died once and remembers it, so that also points to the Lady. Knowing all of this, if Ara even looks at one of their males with something akin to interest, they will make a move for her. The Lady of the Skies was sat opposite of 'Kroth the Mountain-Father' – known as the Father of the Skies. But his domain was everything found in the mountains; Caves, Dwarves, and all things within… it would make a man Kroths' Champion to be mated to the Ladies Champion."

"So… her mate would go for her… because it was the will of the gods that he become a champion… by being her mate?" Sebastian asked.

"Without hesitation – Avvar believe strongly in the gods' will and fate. With Alistair being the 'head of house' so to speak, then they would approach him first if he were around. Their next move would be to approach Fenris with their intention. Failing that – then they'd approach her directly to announce their intention to 'kidnap' her. Recall that the kidnapping is meant to be a test of worth – if they cannot do so, then they are not worthy to mate with her. And this is by no means the end of things – there is also the marriage ceremony. A woman will tie knots in a length of rope the night before the ceremony; the next day, she will pick one of the gods to sing to while the man begins to untie the knots. The number of knots he unties is the number of years the two will be married at a stretch. The ceremony can be repeated when the years are up if the two wish to remain together." Rain explained.

Fiona added her two cents, "I traveled with an Avvarian man – Kell ap Morgan; he was trained as an Ash Warrior and had a hound named Hafter. Kell… gave himself up to ensure that Maric, Duncan and I made it our alive from Kul-Baras back then."

"We have his bow back in Kirkwall – Hawke found it on the way home from that strange Thaig we were in. I recognized it at once and… it's in my room, mounted on the wall. It's funny – it was in the Anderfels at one point after being found by that scouting band that was sent after you spoke to the wardens; only to end up back in the Deep Roads. Oh – and my brother, Aedan, killed the Architect."

She let out a breath of relief, "It always worried me that thing was still loose."

"You do realize that he was the Architect of the Works of Beauty – High Priest of Urthemiel – right? He was one of the Magister Sidereal. Unlike the first of them, the Architect did not recall his life as a mortal. In his stupid fucking plan to 'save' the Darkspawn and the world, he ended up tainting the very old god he once worshiped – Urthemiel."

She was pale, "So… the chant of light?"

"Half true and half filthy lie; the Golden City was never the seat of the Maker – because the waking world and the Fade were once one. I theorize that the Black City seen in the Fade is what was once either Arlathan or the Temple of Elgar'nan – Dalish god of the sun. Back to the Avvar though – Rain, I need another temple built for the Avvar Gods. I didn't think of them before, but it does make sense. On top of that, if my mate is going to be Avvarian, then… make it simple – the Avvar do not care for ornate and prissy anyway. Those gods exist too, you know – many mages actual meet Sigfost in the Fade regularly."

"Oh, for fucks sake – next you're going to tell us that Andraste really was an Elf-Blooded Mage," Sebastian groaned.

I flushed and looked away – I couldn't deny the truth of it. "Brona… was an Elf," I sighed. It was in the archives in Danu.

Sebastian turned and walked out – his faith was being tested.

I shrugged and finished off my bowl of soup before saying, "The city is descending – sure you have noticed this, Fiona? In the fade, it was always in the distance – but these days… it almost seems close enough to reach out and touch. I worry that Emperor Drakon was right – that one day the seven gates will shatter and cover both the mortal and spirit realms in darkness. If that isn't done by my future friend, then it may be done naturally."

"I have much to think on… and pack since I am apparently going to Montsimmard soon as a Senior Enchanter."

"There you will become First Enchanter – and by 9:37, you will be Grand Enchanter. Now… I'm exhausted. I forgot how tired pregnancy could make you. Alistair… I don't wanna walk…"

He beamed – I really did not know why he seemed to like carrying me, but he did. He scooped me into his arms and we went off to find our lodgings for our week long stay.