Rutting season has commenced again! A thunder storm has left all six of my cohabitants like rabid dogs in heat!
I have been assailed on all sides. Beset by Jasper's waves of lust I found myself in a most indelicate position with my bedroom rug. Needless to say the damage was fatal and I shall have to replace the carpet forthwith. By the time my frenzy had abated I discovered I was trapped inside, as I dare not risk venturing out into the veritable orgy that had overtaken the rest of the house, and had no alternate escape route.
I blockaded myself in my bedroom closet and had to wait out the storm, which proved to take an unholy 8 hours. The lascivious thoughts of all in the house hounded my delicate sensibilities, including those of Esme, who I had thought wholesome and motherly of late, but who proved to be the filthiest of the rotten lot!
I emerged, visibly shaken and somehow aged several years from the ordeal. The nightmarish apparitions of the bacchanal that had taken place about me, continued as my family lay about sated and smug recollecting the highlights of their night of relentless, frenzied fornication.
Alice somehow made a large hole in her bedroom floor in her fervor. Emmett broke yet another window and Esme, worst of the lot, somehow managed to scratch my piano.
This will not do at all! I am exhausted, distressed and in pressing need of a new rug!
A/N: Please leave a review! Thanks so much to my wonderful beta wh1teow1, please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade! Gracious me! What a storm! What's your favourite kind of weather?