79
Illogical
"No, no, no. Your tail goes left if you want to turn right."
"How in the bird's balls does that make sense? Are you even listening to yourself?"
Furuichi pressed both palms into each eye. What did bird's balls have to do with swimming properly? Did birds have balls anyway? They'd have to have something, right? Why am I thinking about bird's and their balls? Furuichi let out a strangled cry in the back of his throat. "I'll show you one more time. Watch."
Furuichi swam toward one of the reef's walls at full speed and just as he seemed to be inches from crashing into the wall, turned seamlessly to the right. "Now, you try."
The shark grumbled about his left shoulder taking a serious beating, before trying again and failing to turn fast enough. "Why do we have to do this now? I'm getting hungry!"
"It's because we're hungry that we're doing this!"
Oga huffed. It wasn't his fault. Fish weren't supposed to swim faster than a shark. Furuichi hadn't been able to catch any fish for them to eat since Oga kept getting stuck in the reef while they hunted.
"When you can use this technique properly, then I wouldn't have to babysit you so often."
Furuichi started thinking of ways to backpedal when Oga's shoulders hunched over. "I'm sorry, Captain. I get...moody when I'm hungry. I know you're still getting used to the tail."
Like a rocket, Oga swam as fast as he could into the open water, opened his mouth and his hands and let the school of fish swim into them before closing his grip. A shudder shook the ex-captain's shoulders when the fish crunched and squished between his teeth.
"Can whe go hom nowa?" Oga spoke around his mouthful of fish.
Furuichi gave Oga a heartwarming smile, then bit into the head of one of the offered fish. "Let's go home now. We can practice some more tomorrow."
"Tomawrowh?," Oga gulped down the mouthful, "But I just showed you I don't need it."
"Too bad, Captain! If you had just followed directions, we wouldn't need to come back."
"If your directions weren't so illogical, then I'd be able to follow them!"
When Furuichi turned puce, Oga plucked another fish from his hand and shoved it into the merman's mouth. Furuichi glared at Oga, but chewed contentedly. Fortunately for Oga, he made it home unscathed.