I own nothing except a few characters and the plot.
STAR WARS REBELS
The New Spectres
The Postal Inspector
PHILADELPHIA - 2031
"How did you know it was us coming to the door?" Lucy asked Eric as he let her, Darius, Caleb, and R9-D2 into his house.
"Doorbell camera." Eric replied.
"RSB thing?" Darius asked.
"One of his neighbors was under investigation for mail theft. I thought an arrest had been made in that investigation."
"AUSA didn't argue for high enough bail on her. She does it to my mail, I plan to greet her with cuffs and see if Forbes can merge the new case with the existing one." Eric explained.
"Well, reoffending while out on bail gets you thrown in jail anyway. It's in the fine print on the paperwork when you bond out of jail." Lucy said.
"You got any junk food for this one?" Darius asked Eric as he gestured towards Caleb.
"Got some yesterday, help yourselves. My mailman is due soon." Eric replied and pointed towards the kitchen. Caleb quickly took off for it followed by Darius.
"Make sure he doesn't eat too much." Lucy called after them.
"Where's Justin?" Eric asked her.
"He's up in New York." Lucy replied as Eric's mailman came up to the house and dropped off Eric's mail along with a package before moving on to the next house. R9 beeped something at the two as a woman darted towards Eric's porch and grabbed the package off of it before running off with Lucy in pursuit. Darius emerged with Caleb who was eating a cookie.
"She did not suspect a thing." Eric whispered to Darius as a Remnant van arrived on the block with two Stormtroopers in it followed by a Remnant patrol car with another pair of Stormtroopers, a Philadelphia Police car, and a Postal Police car. Eric stepped out of the house as Lucy and the Stormtroopers came over with the woman in handcuffs followed by the various police officers.
"Your package. Open that quickly and carefully, the box is evidence." Lucy said as she gave Eric the package while a pair of Stormtroopers loaded the woman into the van and drove off followed by the other pair and the two police cars.
"She didn't even suspect that we were running a sting on her. That's why I told you to being Darius and Caleb along." Eric told her as they walked back into the house where Darius and Caleb were eating some cookies. Lucy grinned to herself. One of Eric's strengths was his ability to put together operations using unconventional methods. He certainly proved that on Ord Mantell although Lucy gave some credit where it was due to Eli Vanto.
"I guess I'll talk to her on Monday after I talk to the Postal Inspector about the other case."
"Just be aware, the Postal Inspector assigned to this is a bit of a character. Think some of my former associates, only he's more comical then insane." Eric told her.
That Monday, the Postal Inspector arrived at the office to chat with Lucy and Eric's neighbor as did Shirley. As she was the arresting officer on the new complaint being filed against the woman, Lucy sat in on the interrogation of the suspect while Ty and Shirley watched from outside.
"It's a shame that mail theft doesn't rate a high bail amount. I wonder what sort of interesting items we will find in your home this time." The inspector who identified himself to Ty and Lucy as Frank Norman said.
"This is entrapment by this bitch and my Gestapo neighbor that nobody wants on the block. The woman snapped at the two of them.
"If you thought that this was a setup, then why did you take Major Schuyler's package off his porch and make a run for it? Especially when you're out on bail awaiting trial on the previous charges of stealing someone's mail. Each person you stole mail from is a separate charge" Lucy explained.
"Bitch, you lucky I didn't knock you out."
"Which in that case, you'd also be charged with assault on a Peace Officer if not shot by my troops for resisting arrest with violence. Secure her." Lucy motioned to a Stormtrooper who cuffed the woman to the table. Outside, Ty and Shirley looked at each other.
"Does she know that anything she says can be used against her?" Shirley asked.
"Inspector Norman told her what her rights were. She waived them in writing. Eric said Inspector Norman is a bit eccentric at times. He finds as much pleasure in investigating crimes against the mail as Lucy takes in being vindictive against people who rub her or her family wrong. I have a list in my office of school officials and others that have been investigated for rubbing her or Darius the wrong way beginning with Caleb's original teacher and former Principal. I found those investigations justified given the racial undertones of what rubbed set those off." Ty replied.
"She's a Mama Bear with a cub."
"Day after the first teacher made comments about Darius, she left R9 with Caleb and took off a few hours later with a pair of Death Troopers when the school called about R9 disrupting the class. She came back with Caleb and called RSB in to deal with that mess. They sent Hochster here and the School District eventually fired both the teacher and the Principal. Darius and the Vice-Principal at the school he works at filed grievances against them for unprofessional conduct. She believed that they were being racist about something and so did I when she told me about it. It's really a long story for another time."
"Legally, I don't want to and can't know what sort of setup job Remnant Security may have done on them. Off the record, those two had it coming." Inside the interrogation room, Lucy and Norman continued their questioning of Eric's neighbor. Lucy had obtained a number of records on the woman from various agencies.
"You were arrested in 2024 for Narcotics and spent six months in jail. Arrested for shoplifting in 2026, six months on Probation. Arrested for shoplifting in 2027, spent three months in jail. Shoplifting again in 2028, six months in jail. Receiving stolen property in 2029, another six months in jail. I think I'm going to recommend that you be prosecuted as a persistent offender. Somewhere in all of that, you made two children. Child Welfare took them away from you after you were arrested in 2029." Lucy said.
"Mail Theft is a felony that carries up to five years in Federal Prison per count. You're facing at least three counts of it. How I've waited for the day when I would finally have the proof I needed to put a Mail Criminal like you behind bars for a very long time." Norman told her gleefully.
"We'll also be recommending to the US Attorney that they pursue consecutive sentences based on you prior history of arrests." Lucy added. Outside, Shirley looked at Ty.
"She read my mind. I am going to prosecute this woman as a repeat offender and push for consecutive sentences. Clearly, this woman has not learned her lesson. Get her ready for arraignment. Club Soda?" She said and pointed at a spot on Ty's shirt.
"Lucy never notices that. It's usually the cheese crumbs."
Darius arrived early at Caleb's school to meet with Ed Dobbs regarding the latest note from the School Lunch Director which had been sent via fax to Greg Washington as they seemed to get lost when sent home via Caleb's backpack or sent via e-mail to the Carpenters.
"Darius, I'm so sorry about this. I did not know anything about that note until my Secretary and Greg Washington told me about it." Ed said as he greeted Darius.
"They're getting sneakier with the complaints about Caleb and Lucy's finding more agencies to employ in her vindictive responses to them. She's working a case right now that involves one of Eric Schuyler's neighbors and the Postal Inspector's Office."
"The complaint claims that Caleb is not eating a Vegan lunch on Mondays. Greg already told me about how much success he had with that concept over there. I've been reminded by Kate about how Lucy showed up here with commandos when she got called in here from work about something that involved R9 being left with Caleb and the fallout from that after my predecessor dragged Greg into it. This one threatened to bring in the Child Welfare Agency."
"Lucy will definitely have fun with this one and I know it won't be a car towing either."
"I told her off as soon as I saw what she sent Greg. He told me that he filed a Grievance against my predecessor. As far as I'm concerned, parents have the final say about the contents of a child's home-packed lunchbox. This will be the last one of these notes regarding Caleb. I've sent the paper trail that was created to the District HQ." Ed explained.
"Reggie stopped caring about the content of lunches when he saw over 75% of the food going in the trash and the kids crowding nearby restaurants. I had to eat it since I had no money and by the time I did, he had improved it from what he described as the same quality food that was served at Rikers when he was a teenager."
"He gives me ideas and I give him ideas. Rae chimes in with her own ideas. He was the first one of us to come up with the idea of limiting out-of-school suspensions to violence, repeat offenders, and any case where a report had to be filed with the Superintendent and or the Police. I sent Greg some of those suggestions when I started here. He liked the idea of getting Rae after the repeat offenders like your Three Stooges with the loosies."
"I actually had to resort to using the Jedi Mind Trick to get the guy selling them away from the school. Needless to say, there has been no more buying of loose cigarettes at Lunch by the students there."
"I figured better to deal with you and Greg then to have Lucy come here with more of her commandos and haul this soon-to-be ex-employee out in handcuffs for whatever reason she can think of." Ed said as he showed Darius out of his office and off to Caleb's classroom. Mrs. Archer greeted them with her usual cheerful smile.
"I didn't know it was time to go already." She said.
"It isn't. I had some Dad Business to attend to here." Darius told her as Caleb came bouncing over to him.
"Where's your Reading book?" She asked Caleb who used The Force to summon a book over to him earning a look from Darius.
"I thought he stopped doing that here after Justin yelled at him." Darius said.
"We expected it when we got sent here." Ed explained.
"He's strong enough to use it to move cars now. One of our neighbors flipped out when her car got towed as a result. But, she was double-parked and would have been towed anyway. I won't repeat Lucy's opinions on that in front of the kids other then to say it involved the Fire Department."
"You want to take him now?" Mrs. Archer asked Darius.
"Let him finish his Reading lesson. If it was play time or anything other then academics, I'd take him. But, Caleb and grocery stores don't exactly go together anyway." Darius replied and left after telling Caleb that he'd be back in a little bit and that Mace was watching him. He returned to find Caleb ready and waiting for him.
"How was he?"
"Luckily, I know who Mace is and the effect it had on him. He did use The Force again to grab one of his other books."
"Well, I heard that even Master Yoda found loopholes in what it's supposed to be used for. We are not doing this in school anymore and I don't care what Master Yoda said or did." Darius said and led Caleb to his car.
Postal Inspector Norman returned to the Remnant Office later in the day investigating a suspected case of mail fraud involving one of his neighbors who he seemed to have grudge against for some reason that was really none of Lucy's business and she really didn't care about that. He also dropped off the details of the search of the home of Eric's package thief neighbor which added another four more counts of mail theft to the complaint being filed with the court.
"How did we end up in the middle of this?" She asked Eric.
"The alleged victims of the mail fraud are from Vica and Lothal." Eric replied.
"Then that's us. Your turn." She said. Eric entered the interrogation room where Inspector Norman was sitting across from his neighbor and the neighbor's friend.
"I'm clean Norman, and you know it."
"Clean, hardly. In this Social Media post, you refer to the residents of Lothal as suckers and in another you call them fools who have been parted with their money."
"There's an explanation."
"Yes. It's called "mail fraud". How I've longed for this moment. The day when I would have the proof I needed to haul you out of your cushy lair and expose you to the light of justice as the monster that you are. A monster so vile that you would pick on people from war-torn planets and cheat them out of the money they need to survive. I'm afraid that the Remnant is going to be placing you under arrest."
"Why am I here?" The neighbor's friend asked.
"There's more to this sordid affair. These posts clearly indicate that you two are involved with some sort of ill-conceived intergalactic mail order pornography ring. As do these photos found on another website with your name on it. There are a few questions that we'd like you to answer." Norman said and showed them some photos on a tablet.
"I have a few questions of my own. Like were you two extremely drunk or high on something when you took all of these photos?" Eric added before signaling to a pair of Stormtroopers who took the two to a holding cell. Lucy caught up to them in the kitchen.
"What's the charge?" She asked.
"Mail fraud and Scheme to defraud for now. Other charges to be added as the matter is investigated further." Norman replied.
"We might be able to do Larceny. Maybe even Grand Larceny. I wonder if RSB has a file on them somewhere and if so whoever was assigned to the case isn't in Russia or locked away somewhere for doing something that rubbed your parents the wrong way. They never popped up in any of mu case files when I was there." Eric added.
"I'm sure my office will be more then happy to cooperate with a Remnant investigation into these matters. Maybe even turn this case over to you guys."
"That's up to our bosses." Lucy told them.
Dinner at the Carpenter House was the usual affair. Darius had placed the condiment bottles closer to Caleb since that seemed to be his favorite thing to use The Force on at dinner.
"We have heard the last from the school about the contents of Caleb's lunches. They went over Ed's head and behind his back with this one. Greg is filing a grievance against the Lunch Director for unprofessional conduct." Darius told Lucy and Justin.
"Good, I would have hated for someone's utility bills to somehow get lost in the mail. Or for their packages to find themselves inspected before delivery." Lucy said with a slight chuckle which was joined by Caleb.
"I just started throwing them out." Justin added.
"If we're done talking about how to screw with other people's mail. Our son uses The Force in school. Why I was not told about this sooner, I don't know." Darius directed the last part of that sentence towards the ceiling which Lucy and Justin both knew meant that Darius was talking to Mace and not them.
"Eric's neighbor is facing up to 35 years in Federal Prison for stealing packages off of porches. They found four more people she stole mail from. Forbes is going to seek consecutive sentences for her. She also got a reality check when she said that she should have hit me and I told her that would have gotten her another charge and or shot. Darius cooked, so Justin has to give Caleb his bath tonight."
"I was gonna give it to R9..." Justin began.
"R9 fry Uncle Justin." Caleb said as R9-D2 rolled over and shocked Justin.
"Even Caleb and R9 know it's your turn." Darius told Justin. After dinner and dessert, Justin gave Caleb his nightly bath. Caleb of course threw the water all over Justin who made a mental note to himself to wear his swimsuit the next time he bathed putting on some dry clothes and playing, Justin put Caleb to bed and joined Lucy and Darius downstairs.
"He threw water all over me."
"Didn't you do that to Dad when you were his age?"
"That was Chris because he did it to me also." Justin said. Around Midnight, Darius raided the kitchen as he usually did and found Mace watching him.
"His schoolbooks?" Darius asked the Force Ghost.
"I would have said something, but Master Yoda seemed to know about every loophole in the knoweledge and defense clause. I think his schoolbooks would fall into one of those. According to Master Yoda, lifting food away from Marcus' grandmother would qualify as does doing the same thing around General Marlion's sister-in-law."
"I guess you've seen her."
"More like I've seen Marcus' Grandmother way more then I should have. Woman only knew two things, eat everything she could find and stick her nose in other people's business. I saw what she was doing to you and Lucy and what she was doing to Master Kenobi among others. It's a wonder that Jacen Syndulla didn't end up in the loony bin between her and Joshua."
"Josh is starting to think of Jacen as part of the family. Maybe he always thought of Jacen as part of the family. You know how his mind works sometimes."
"Yeah. it's not all there." Lucy said as she joined Darius since she couldn't see Mace.
"What woke you up?" Darius asked her.
"Police Dispatch for two non-humans in a barfight, one stabbed. I just woke Eric up since some smuggler is probably going to play games with Admiral Reige's checkpoint while I'm dealing with that. I have to find Eric a girlfriend too."
"I see Marcus' Grandmother rubbed off on her." Mace commented knowing that Lucy was unable to see or hear him the way Darius and Caleb could.
"Maybe he's already looking for one, Sylvia." Darius told Lucy.
"Tell Mace that he's lucky I can't see him, hear him, or throw him out of this house like I would have done to Josh if he had said that to me. Of course, I could always throw you out of the house or have R9 shock you instead. I'll take that." Lucy shot back and took the sandwich Darius had made before he even got a bite out of it.
"I guess I'll make another one." Darius muttered to himself and began making another sandwich.