After Choi Young first woke up in confusion at his Master's house, the images that flooded him never stopped coming. It was only the beginning of the self-inflicted punishment or blessing in disguise, he was no longer sure which one it was.
Those images turning constantly to form new shapes, mirrored and reflected upon themselves, never taking hold fully, breaking every time his mind tried to latch upon one and give clarity to the kaleidoscopic picture, fractured beyond recognition. They bombarded him at night with insistence that rivaled his own determination to get his memories back.
A smile dancing on Eun Soo's lips and sparkling in her eyes; the baby's little mouth wet with the milk he had just nursed, tiny eyes shut in deep contentment; the gentle lullaby of her childhood she used to hum as she rocked the child to sleep; and the way Eun Soo looked at him, with trust and devotion, calling him handsome just before he betrayed every promise they made together pushing her into the Hwata's gate unwavering pull.
All the things that mattered: all the important milestones, and all the things he took for granted, all the minute, insignificant, mundane things they did together - they were disappearing from his grasp one by one as he fumbled in their fading fog.
He could not imagine that he was the only one who would hold those precious and heartbreaking details in his mind, while they would become smaller and less coherent, crumbling and turning to dust, finally to be swept away by the wind of time travel. All that is left - only echoes, painful and beautiful echoes.
Eun Soo woke up from a scream, filled with anguish and helplessness. She felt the yowling sound rise within herself, but it was not her voice, it was Choi Young's. She pressed her palm hard to her heart, filled with his pain, attempting to quell it. The explosive burst slowly dissipated letting her chest go and she found herself taking in deep, still slightly painful breaths.
He called them memory echoes. Another night of disturbance as these echoes became more frequent. When they occurred, she could not sleep either, but telling him would only make him feel responsible. She could not burden the man who hid vulnerability under the cloak of stoicism, she wanted to take care of him, not make it worse.
Thus, she patiently waited to feel his presence nearing her, so that she could call his name and have him come in with the pain stricken eyes that switched the heavy gaze into affection when he met hers. His tall shape sitting down beside her silently, following her call and ready for whatever she needed, and her ready to give him respite with her healing touch.
The time hung without moving and her KI searched and reached into the darkness without an answer from him. He was not coming tonight.
Eun Soo had to find Choi Young, rescue him from himself because he was not going to do it. She discovered a solemn figure in the kitchen: standing by the sink, shirtless, his back spliced with the scars that should have been a surprise to her eyes, but were not. She approached him slowly, noticing how his body stilled the closer she got. Cautiously, she touched the long scar, dragging her finger from the top along its length. His skin shivered, but he stood frozen, not turning or saying anything.
Tears swelled in her eyes and she hugged the warrior from behind, pressing her lips on the long-healed wound, as if willing it to disappear. She kissed every inch of it with hot, open mouth kisses forgetting where she was or why she was prompted to do it in the first place.
The man let out a deep and hoarse hiss and pressed his back closer to her body. Her hands hugged him even tighter. "Will you please talk to me? I can't bare your suffering any more."
He grasped her palm and kissed it with sadness and desperation, her healing hands trying to save him again.
I don't deserve this kindness, she heard his mind overflowing with guilt and sensed every muscle in his back tensing. Eun Soo released her embrace and made him turn. A restrained tear was rolling down his cheek. He swiftly wiped it with the back of his hand.
"I want to help. Tell me about your nightmares." With great compassion she could barely manage from exploding outwards, her Ki reached out like an outstretched hand toward him. Yet, his energy constricted away, putting up the last line of defense against her seeing the embarrassing mess of confusion and pain tangled together.
"I am not leaving you," she said in a tone not permitting refusal.
The doctor placed her petite hand onto his wrist. She felt his KI's uneven, jerky movement, bouncing like a caged wild animal, beating against the walls of its prison. Eun Soo took a deep breath, focused on merging with the warrior's life force and allowed her healing energy to do the job. Soon she noticed the powerful reverberations even out.
"Thank you, Imja." He gave her a sheepish smile.
She smiled back warmly, pressing his hand with reassurance. "Let's have some tea," she offered, gesturing to the kettle boiling on the counter.
He nodded, and she took a seat across from him, throwing glances at Choi Young while he sipped his drink, lost in thought, finally peaceful.
Just a few minutes ago they shared a powerful moment when she was sure about how she felt, when she loved him with all her might, even if she could not remember their past. Only she could not say it, not yet... And he was hurting every time she stepped back. If she could only remember herself from before, it would change everything, she had to believe it would.
Suddenly, he lifted his head, his gaze strong and determined. "Ask me, I'm ready."
She felt his energy, forceful and steady, able to carry both of them through the scariest parts of the past. It was her chance, their chance to make things right as they used to be – it was now or never.
"Your echoes, those dreams – are they memories of us?"
He let out a haggard breath and admitted, his voice resonating with unease, "There is so much I recall and there is even more I don't."
Eun Soo looked at the graceful features of his tired face - his whole essence beckoned her to delve into his very core. She settled on his gaze, baring his soul. That soul, which held so much anguish along with love and desire for her - it swallowed her whole. Being lost in him felt safe, her doubts disappeared; in fact, it was necessary to ask the questions that plagued her consciousness for a long time.
"Remember I told you I used to feel beautiful sorrowful eyes watching me in my dreams," she began slowly.
"Yes. Before I returned."
Eun Soo lifted her hand toward him, tentatively, as if asking for permission. He watched her with attention, not knowing what to expect next. She moved the long raven hair off his forehead and smoothed the tension on his skin.
Choi Young gasped inaudibly.
She gently placed her palm over his eyes. "Just listen to me." She felt them close under the comforting warmth and darkness she provided. Lashes trembling under her touch, those beautiful almond eyes, liquid with exhaustion, finally resting, her skin so soft and protective against the burdens of the harsh light and harsh dreams.
"I never understood why those dreams seemed more real than my life. After Min Ho-shi brought you home, those dreams abruptly stopped. Instead a new one appeared, almost every night, getting more vivid and detailed as time passed: I am at the hospital, in a large room full of doctors. It is crowded. Suddenly, I see a black silhouette that does not belong in a sea of white gowns. I recognize you, but you have already disappeared, and my heart hurts so much I want to cry."
Her breath hitched, the sensation so tangible, tears began crowding her chest. She grasped at him, her fingers anxiously curling around his. Secured lock of strong hand around hers, and all was better.
"After I wake up, I search for you in every corner of my mind, combing through my past, desperate... but I can't find you. Please tell me, is it just a dream or did it actually happen to us?"
A slight turn of his head, and her palm naturally slid to cup his cheek. Choi Young leaned into it, nuzzling into her free and unlimited affection. Can his mind be healed if her hand fused with his skin, if he never moved and let her cure him? The question is the answer. The warrior's eyes fluttered open locking onto hers. I would give anything to know myself.