Disclaimer: I own nothing in regard to GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and the feedback.

Chapter Ninety-One

One afternoon in late September, Rhett and Scarlett went sailing up and down the Connecticut River. Rhett had hired a couple of men to work part-time to take care of the sails. He just didn't want to do it anymore. He just wanted to be on the water and sit with Scarlett. He loved her more today than he ever thought was possible. He loved her enough to tell her his deepest secret.

He said, "I loved my father until I was almost fourteen and he took me to a whore house. I don't know why he did that. I would never take Alex to a whore house." Scarlett just laid against Rhett. They were sitting in an improper way. They were sitting on the bench with him sitting behind her and she was resting on him. There was way too much body contact but none of the peahens in Atlanta could see them so they were alright. Scarlett knew to keep her eyes forward and not look at him. Even after all these years together when Rhett was vulnerable, he didn't want her to see him. Even if he had done it on purpose.

After a few minutes, Rhett continued, "He took me to a bordello and told me that Candy was going to take me upstairs and show me a few things. He was going to be busy so when I was finished to just sit down here and watch them play poker. I went upstairs with Candy. I was eager to find out what relations were like. I actually was thinking how great my father was to let me experience carnal relations even though it certainly wasn't proper. I had already been having some very nice dreams and some nice feelings. Candy did show me a few things. I was feeling wonderful. Afterwards I went downstairs and waited for my father. I wondered where he was but I never dreamed he was where he was. I was watching the poker game. I knew who was bluffing. I knew who had a good hand. I knew just by watching their bodies and how they held themselves." Rhett chuckled.

She was quiet and she waited. She knew that Rhett was about to share a painful secret. Rhett pulled her closer and they sat there for about ten minutes without speaking. They just watched the horizon. Finally, Rhett said, "I believed in all that honor and gentlemanly code. I was worse than Wilkes."

She smiled but she didn't say anything. She just waited.

Rhett finally continued, "I had molded myself to be just like him because I admired him so much. I was so much like Alex. I was proud and arrogant. I thought I was God's gift to women."

"You still think you are."

Rhett chuckled, "I guess I do," He paused then quietly, "I already knew that gentlemen didn't go to whore houses. I already knew that gentlemen weren't unfaithful to their wives. When I saw him walk out of one of the rooms it devastated me when I realized that he was just a hypocrite. If he hadn't acted like such a self-righteous prig it wouldn't have been so bad. He acted like Rosemary acts. I called him a hypocrite and a lot worse right there in the whore house in front of everyone. All my love turned to hate in that moment."

Scarlett had sadly smiled but Rhett couldn't see her face.

Rhett continued, "I could tell he was shocked at my reaction. He laughed and said, 'You didn't really believe all that garbage about honor and duty, did you? Do you really believe men are faithful to their wives? I would have never taken you for such a fool, Rhett.' He shattered my world. Everything I believed was destroyed. He told me that wives were for having legitimate children with and they usually weren't much fun to have relations with. That was what prostitutes were for. To have fun with. He usually visited a brothel twice a week. One woman's body is pretty much the same as any other woman's body. I thought my parents loved each other. I was romantic enough at the time to imagine my wife and I having that kind of marriage. My disappointment turned me bitter and cynical.

Scarlett heard the words. The hateful words he had said all those years ago. That was that Rhett. He lashed out when he was hurting or he had been hurt. He still did but these days she let the hateful words roll off her back because she knew he really didn't mean them. Those words didn't hurt anymore they were way past that.

She just turned and wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his chest. He held her tight. Rhett said, "Why did he take me to a brothel? Why did he tell me that? He didn't need to tell me that. Not then. Not ever."

Scarlett said, "I don't know, honey."

"He destroyed everything I believed in, baby. He broke my moral compass. I did everything I could think of to embarrass him. As I got older, he showed me how much of a hypocrite he was. He cheated men in business deals if they trusted him. When I called him on cheating people he said, 'That's what they get for trusting me.' When I was sixteen, some friends of mine and I broke into a store and stole some alcohol. All that happened was that the owner asked my father to pay for the damages and what we had stolen. He put on quite the act as the long-suffering father. After that he started sharing with me all his nefarious deeds. Scarlett when I was eighteen, he cheated an old man out of his life savings and bragged to me about it. I told him, 'I am going to tell everyone what you have done.' He said, 'Go ahead, my son, nobody will believe you. Everyone thinks I am a fine upstanding man. Everyone thinks of you as a trouble making boy,' He laughed and said, 'You have been calling me names for the last four years. Everyone will think it is just you blowing hot air again. The funniest part to me is that everything you have been saying about me has been true but because people believe me to be a fine upstanding gentleman, they don't take anything you say seriously.' When he said it, I knew he held all those people in contempt. I know now the only person I hurt was myself. He was right everyone saw me as the problem and my father as poor Charles Butler a man with a wild son. I know that the reason no one gave me the benefit of the doubt with the buggy incident was because of my past behavior."

"Just like me when India caught Ashley with his arm around me. Because of my past behavior nobody believed my protestations of innocence."

"Yeah," Rhett pulled her close and continued, "That was in April. By July I had received an appointment to West Point. In August I was on a train to that fine institution. I had no choice but to go. I had not reached my majority yet. I had to either go or give up my station in life which I never thought I would do. When I got on the train to leave Charleston my father said, "I am the son of a pirate and you are the grandson of a pirate. You might as well embrace your heritage." I got myself thrown out of West Point to shame him which it did but it hurt me also."

Scarlett didn't speak. She just pressed herself into him.

"When the buggy incident happened, I had seen that everyone in polite society was just a hypocrite. I was not going to give up my freedom over an accident and by that time I was bored with polite society. I knew I could survive on my own. I had learned how to cheat and how to steal from the best of them. I became an amoral bastard who was only concerned about himself. I haven't lived a completely legal life but I didn't cheat an honest man."

"You stole from the people of Georgia during reconstruction. In both life times."

Rhett laughed but he didn't respond to her comment because it was true but instead said, "That's why I hate hypocrites. I have ever since that day. Then I became one. I was the biggest hypocrite in the world. I said cruel, derogatory things to you while I was doing the same thing or worse. Then I openly became a hypocrite so Bonnie would be received. I finally wanted to be a better man because of Bonnie. I wanted my child to be proud of me."

Scarlett didn't acknowledge what he said about being a hypocrite to her. She had already forgiven him. She said, "You didn't want me to be proud of you?"

"Of course, I did but it was different."

Scarlett smiled. She knew exactly what he meant. She had actually been proud of him for not letting morals get in the way of making money.

"You loved her so much and she was the only one who loved you then except your mother."

"That knew they loved me."

Scarlett smiled at him then laid her head back on his chest. She could feel that he was crying and she pretended otherwise. She knew all about preserving one's pride. She would never embarrass him that much. They sat there for a while until Rhett got himself under control.

Scarlett had gone back to laying against Rhett watching the horizon. After she knew he had himself collected she said, "Just think, Rhett, we are what we wanted to be when we were children. You wanted to be a great man like what you believed your father to be and I wanted to be a great lady like I thought my mother was. We are admired and revered in Hartford. You are a great humanitarian and philanthropic man. Best of all we have never pretended to be anything that we weren't. Not even to our children.

"That we are, my dear. That we are."

Scarlett could hear the smile in his voice.

Scarlett said, "Do you remember when I asked you if the buggy incident was just a broken wheel?"

"I lied because I didn't want you asking any more questions that I wasn't going to answer. I don't think my father had anything to do with it because he already knew that I wouldn't do anything for honor."

They sailed up and down the river for another hour. Then Scarlett said, "So your first time to have relations was with a girl named Candy when you were fourteen."

Rhett laughed and said, "We didn't have relations. I was so excited that all she had to do was touch my member and I lost all control. It happened so quickly that she gave me another chance. It happened even faster the second time."

They both laughed and laughed. They didn't speak anymore. They didn't need to. These days they could communicate heart to heart.

Alex had been courting a young lady, Clara Rogers, since they were sixteen. She was beautiful as far as Alex was concerned. He teased and harassed her but he never went too far. Alex teased her the same way his father teased his mother. Playfully and lovingly. Rhett was very glad Alex had not seen how badly Rhett had treated his wife during the first timeline.

Rhett thought Alex must see something that he didn't. She was a pretty girl with dark brown eyes and brown hair. Rhett would not say she was beautiful but there was some special something about her. He wouldn't say Scarlett was actually beautiful but Rhett certainly thought she was beautiful.

Alex had asked her to marry him as soon as he turned eighteen which was the January after he had gone to MIT. Alex had told his parents that he wanted to go ahead and ask her now because her parents and friends were giving her grief about waiting for him for four years. Especially considering she was already eighteen and on the verge of being considered an old maid.

Rhett took Alex to buy an engagement ring for Clara. Alex wanted the perfect ring and he was not going to settle for anything else. He didn't find anything that he thought was worthy of Clara.

That night as Alex's parents were getting ready to leave for supper out, he saw the ring he wanted to give Clara. It was huge. He had never seen a ring that big. He, of course, had seen his mother's ring before but he hadn't remembered it. He hadn't ever paid much attention to his mother's jewelry. Alex said, "Papa, that's like the ring I want to give Clara." As he was pointing to Scarlett's original engagement ring.

His mother had laughed such a delighted laugh and had said, "I knew you were my son."

His father had said, "I hope Clara likes gaudy."

"Be quiet, Rhett," Alex's mother then took the ring off her hand and said, "Just tell her that is how much you love her."

Alex was stunned. His mother had given him that huge diamond as if she was giving him a piece of candy. She acted like it was nothing. When Alex looked into his mother's face, he knew the diamond was special to her. He knew she was giving it to him to give to Clara because it was special to her.