SEASON 08

EPISODE 92 – Mercy

"Ma?"

"Sive?"

I turn toward my daughter's voice at once, thinking I must be dreaming. It's so early in the morning, there's usually barely anyone awake. I was still in my fucking pyjamas when they barged into my room.

It can't be her. I haven't heard that heavenly sound in eight months now. I had almost come to terms with the fact that I would never hear it again. Like in my dreams, when Murphy or Connor have come to visit me, they always turn away from me, without fail, since the day I had sex with Negan. Like they're disgusted by me, like they've forsaken me. And if I only thought they were petty nightmares at first, months and months of this have started to make me believe it. I had come to think I didn't deserve to see any one of them again.

I grit my teeth when I finally set my eyes on her. Simon is holding my baby girl by the hair, making her wince in pain. She's grown up, but she still looks like a tiny little kid, with her long blond curls and sky-blue eyes. She's also wearing a fluffy pink dress, which strikes me as odd. She hasn't worn anything resembling that since she was four years old. It's almost like she was trying to look inoffensive.

Her eyes grow wide when she gets a glimpse at my huge belly. She didn't have the slightest clue. That must mean neither Connor nor Murphy know as well.

"That yours?" Simon spits in my direction. "I found her in the corridor leading through here…"

"Let her go, ye fucking knacker!" I order, marching toward him, though he violently pulls her backward, keeping me at bay.

"Wait a sec. She came all this way by herself, snuck in here in the middle of the night; ya gonna tell me she didn't have any help?"

"I just wanted to see my mom!" she pleads. And I don't recognise this imploring high-pitched tone. It feels like she's acting a part. Although I haven't seen her in so long; maybe she's changed somehow.

"Yeah, let's see what Negan's got to say about that. Go get him!" he barks at Gavin, the only other soldier present.

Shit, I told Negan she was dead. I wonder if he'll be inclined to forgive that lie.

"It's going to be okay, sweetheart." I try to reassure her. Even though, if he's hurting her a little, she doesn't look remotely scared to me. She's frowning; her eyes can't seem to detach from my stomach and the implications of what she's seeing.

"I'm pregnant, Sive. Ye're going to have a little brother…"

She's thinking hard. "When?"

With Simon here and Negan on the way, there is no way I can even hint at the truth. "I'm seven months pregnant, so it should be two months." One, in truth. She visible sighs in relief, even though there's still a part of her that looks upset. Thankfully, she doesn't ask who the father is; I never planned on having to lie to her.

"Would ye let her go, Simon?" I ask more nicely this time. "What do ye think she's going to do?"

"I don't know. But I ain't gon' believe she's just wandered here for no reason. Especially these days."

I have no idea what's happening 'these days', but I've noticed they all felt a little more nervous than usual, and that Negan had gathered all his main lieutenants back here in the Sanctuary. I'm not privy to any information on the outside world, however.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Negan's booming voice resounds before he enters and lays his eyes on my daughter. "That's… Is that…" His expression is of the utmost surprise. "You fucking liar!" He then immediately crouches to level his eyes with her: "Hey, kiddo! How ya doing? Can you believe your fucking wretched mother told me you were dead?"

Her eyes dart back to me, filled with disbelief.

"I only said that because I didn't want ye to send yer barbaric goons out there to look for her!"

"You, shut up!" he replies, angrier with me than he's been in months. "Where's your sister, kid, is she here too? 'Cuz that could be dangerous."

"She's the one who's dead," she answers, observing his reaction. "A long time ago."

He lets out a sigh, then softly grabs her hand, brushing his fingers over the flowery glove, there, covering the scar where her last two fingers used to be. "You must have been through hell and back, girl. But it only made ya stronger, I can see it. I knew you had the fire in you."

His tone his tender, compassionate, and she's confused. I guess she expected Negan to be the big bad guy everyone else knows. Then, he stands back up.

"Will you let go of her fucking hair, dumb ass!"

"Wait, Negan!" To my utmost frustration, Simon doesn't comply. "She's the daughter of those two murderous fuckers. I've seen her before! We need to use her."

"I said, let go." Simon should recognise his boss's dangerous tone.

"I get that this one's out of bound now," he gestures towards me with his chin, "but, hear me out: we just cut out what's left of her fingers here, no more. Then we tear up that pretty glove, send a bloody piece to each of the towns with a different message. Then we'll know which one is hiding them!"

The grown man is all excited and proud of his clever plan, without realising he's crossed a sacred line.

"If you don't let go right this second, you fucking clown, it's little bits of you I'm gonna send all over town, and there won't be much left." That voice is so cold, I remain petrified.

Although Simon seems to think this is the right time to argue.

"I know, Negan, I understand. But you must see that the guys are getting restless. They think those 'Saints', as they call them, are making a fool out of you. You know I'm not the one saying that! But they've been killing more men than I can count and all you did was steal their girl. Okay, that was a power move, but now, we're fallen back in here, waiting for their next move as if we were fucking afraid! The supplies are running low, even the fucking workers are starting to speak up."

I had no idea things were getting this bad here. Negan has made especially sure that I remain cut out from all of this in my little ivory tower.

To my surprise, Negan doesn't answer. He's only staring back at Simon, his eternal smile long gone.

"This won't stand for long, boss. You need to show them you're still in control."

"Or what?"

That's when Simon reaches for his long knife. "Or you'll force me to show them."

Negan doesn't have Lucille with him, but I know he can be dangerous even without it. This isn't going to end well, and my little girl is standing right in the middle. I can't believe I'm being so powerless.

"Listen, boss, I don't want to do this. I'm just saying this is the time for drastic actions, even if you don't like them."

"I guess you're right. Actions need to be taken…"

"So, let me handle this. Let me take the girl; you won't have to get your hands dirt-"

He doesn't get to finish that sentence. His knife clanks on the floor.

For a second I think that Negan has punched him in the stomach. Simon bends over in pain, his breath taken away. But, when I lower my eyes, I see the dark red stain on his shirt growing larger and larger. I see the knife sinking to the hilt in the right side of his stomach. I also see the dainty hands of my little girl twist the blade in his guts to maximize the damage.

She had used the folds of her dress to hide her weapon, counting on her innocent look to avoid being searched, and had waited for the men's attention to be focus elsewhere before taking it out and stabbing the main threat hard enough to incapacitate him.

Simon lets go of her hair to press on his wound as he falls on his knees. Negan's eyes look as wide and awestruck as mine. So, while no one has the presence to react, she runs into my arms.

"Fucking bitch!" Simon roars while I hug her tight shivering from head to toe.

And Negan bursts out laughing. "Oh my fucking god! She got ya good!"

A string of insults comes out of the wounded man, panting and shouting in a furore. Negan only taunts him more which makes him madder even.

In that turmoil, I hear the quiet whisper of my daughter in my ear: "The attack is now, Ma."

I look at her gaping. She has coldly taken advantage of the mess she's created to get her point across. She has taken so many risks just to let me know this, to protect me from the eventual fallouts, to make sure I would be prepared… But her fathers couldn't have sent her here. They couldn't have taken that chance, even for my sake. She must have decided to act on her own accord.

I'm left aghast for a second, unable to think properly about the consequences of what she has just said. However, I'm brought back to the present by Simon's next words:

"I'm gonna fucking kill that bitch!" He gets out his gun with a trembling hand and tries to aim.

I promptly move Sive behind me, though Negan kicks his wrist nonchalantly. Then slowly leans in to pick up the weapon.

"Shit! I'm fucking bleeding like a pig! Get the doc, boss!" His tone is turning into a plea.

"Oh, I could, Simon. But I think she got ya in the liver. It doesn't look too good for ya, pal…" Negan's own voice is seeping with cruel glee.

"Fucking kid… I shoulda cut her throat when I found her… Put her head on a spike… Flush those wankers out…" His face is getting paler each second, his eyes veiled with a fog that is starting to cloud reality. "Fuck, Negan… Ya can't leave me like that…"

"Nah, you're right. You've served me well until today, Simon. And for that, I'm gonna show you mercy."

He aims the gun at his forehead. Simon's eyes widen in horror. I hug Sive tighter. And the shot puts an end to the man's misery.

"We shall flow a river forth to Thee," I hear my daughter murmur.