Fangirlauthor430: yes that entry was indeed part of HTBaF! And this one a reference to "Conflicted" ;)

Sorry about that little absence. I procrastinated schoolwork and had to do a lot the past few days lol

Addendum 7

For the past few days, we've had a surprising visitor.

Astrid Hofferson, who I hadn't seen talk to Hiccup in years, has been showing up every day to ask how he's doing. The first time, I told her he was doing better, and she left; the second time, she asked if she could come in. A bit confused, I let her in, and asked if she needed anything, water or something. She said she was fine, and took a seat at the dining table.

It was so bizarre; I haven't interacted with the Hoffersons much, unless it was for a baby or marriage. And never once did I get the impression that Astrid and Hiccup were friends… Honestly, it seemed like they were always at odds, like Hiccup and Snotlout.

What she did during her visits didn't give me a clue either. She would come in, sit down, and ask some questions. At first, they were all about how Hiccup was faring, and what we were going to do next. But then, she started asking more general things about Hiccup, what his favorite foods are, what he likes doing in his free time, what my best childhood memories of him are. And, the more she asked, the more I realized… I don't know the answers.

The days when Hiccup and I were close were so long ago… I remember a few things, like playing Maces and Talons with him, or going fishing, or talking about his mother. I remember some bad things too, like when he caught a really serious illness and we didn't know if he would get through it. That was the only time I ever remember taking time off from being chief… I couldn't leave his side, for fear of coming back only to learn we lost him.

But past Hiccup's eighth birthday… things get a little fuzzy. I got so busy… or maybe I just thought I did. Working kind of became an excuse as time went on, because I just didn't know how to talk to Hiccup. The things he wanted to talk about were things I knew nothing about, and when I tried to talk to him about my passions, he never seemed to stay interested. I just figured we'd become too different in personality to bond… But now, oh how I wished I'd still tried.

This Hiccup, who's nearly fifteen now, is almost a stranger to me. Everything I've read that he's written has been a surprise, from his love of blacksmithing (I thought he did it begrudgingly…), to his skills in art, to his empathetic nature. I knew none of it.

But from now on, I'm going to make an effort. I want to know the person my son has grown up to be.

-StV