Author's Note:
So this was my absolute favorite chapter to write. It was a lot of fun, but writing it and reading it is quite a different thing :D So I do hope this chapter is enjoyable and not just confusing ;)
Also, I wanted to thank you all again for reading and commenting and voting and such O:) I am so grateful for it, and it just spurs me to write more and more :)
Thank you all and I hope you enjoy the chapter
Chapter XCVIII – Reality
Aeyrin woke up in the middle of the night with a start.
It felt like she hasn't slept at all, always restless, always tossing and turning. This hasn't happened to her for a long time now. Ever since she started to feel safe and comfortable in Bishop's arms, not much could keep her from a restful sleep.
She looked down on the bed – he was lying there, right next to her. With deep steady breaths, his bare chest rose and fell peacefully in his sleep. She ran her hand over his pecs for a while. He was so warm. It was soothing, but, for some reason, she still couldn't calm down, as if she just couldn't recover from the nightmare.
Nightmare… what was it? She knew she had one, but she couldn't recall a thing.
She got up from the warm bed and looked outside the window into the snow-covered streets of Dawnstar. They've only arrived late that very night and they took a room at a local inn to rest from the journey over the insanely cold northern coast. They had to slog through constant blizzards and wade through knee-deep snow for so long.
It was horrible.
She was so cold all the time.
She didn't even want to think about the journey ahead.
The most expedient option was to hitch a ride on a boat heading straight to the Solitude docks. They could meet Karliah there right away.
It would take hours to get there. On a boat. On a frozen sea.
She's never been on a boat before. Even if she was standing by the coast of Lake Rumare, staring at the Waterfront from the shoreside dock, she would always rather walk the distance towards the bridge to get to the Imperial City, even if the boat ride was not even half-hour long.
It just seemed so… unstable.
And if she were to end up overboard somehow, her armor would always sink her down in a matter of seconds. The knowledge of that was quite terrifying.
Besides, the only slaughterfish she could stand were the ones on her plate.
Like the one that Bishop caught with his bow when they were camping by the Lady Stone.
Wait…
She was on a boat then.
It was the first time there…
No…
She traveled up the river from Leyawiin on a week-long journey.
Or did one of the sisters in Anvil tell her about that?
She was on their boat. They offered to help her get over her trepidations about water travel by locking themselves in for a week on a docked ship and just… drinking the nights away.
Ugh… she was tired. She couldn't think straight.
She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked herself over.
She should probably get her clothes on if she wanted to get some fresh air. She looked around the room with tired eyes and located her trousers and tunic – discarded on the floor unceremoniously after the… hasty undressing that night. She picked them up with a sluggish pace and started to put the clothes on.
Bishop didn't even stir. It was odd – his sleep was usually pretty light. She sat on the bed beside him, letting the heat radiating from his body warm her, at least a little, while she pulled her boots on slowly and tiredly.
Why did she want to go outside again?
She turned around to look at Bishop's peaceful face once more. She started to stoke over his chest again gently, feeling the slow rise and fall. It calmed her down so much.
She leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his lips.
His cheeks were cold. That was so strange. Bishop was like her own personal campfire – always warm, always so comfortable.
Maybe it was cold in the room. She should go into the common room and ask the innkeeper to stoke up the fires.
She walked out of the room, but the dining area was completely empty.
Well… it was pretty late.
She stepped towards the large firepit in the middle of the room and grabbed one of the firewood pieces by its side. She promptly placed it in a spot that looked like it needed kindling before she continued the process for a while with more firewood; occasionally the pieces lit up in flames and she started raking the fiery logs through the coals.
It was so warm, so comforting.
Why did she have a pit in her stomach?
She took one of the thinner pieces of wood, raked it through the firepit again and stared at it. It burned steadily and the flames were slowly reaching her hand.
She put it down onto the wooden floor.
Wasn't the floor stone?
'RUN, RABBIT, QUICK!'
A horrible shock went through her spine. Was the room always so dark? She felt like she couldn't see a thing besides the fire right next to her. Everything felt strange. She wasn't thinking straight. She needed fresh air.
And she needed to get away from the tavern… get away before something would happen. Something would happen… Something bad would happen to her, she just knew it!
She darted to the entrance door instantly and when she got outside, she shut it behind herself as quickly as she could.
Her heart was pounding, her breathing was labored and the cold night air was hitting her body mercilessly. She wrapped herself tightly in Bishop's old cloak. Funny… she didn't remember grabbing it before.
The warmth of the familiar cloth made her a little calmer. Why did she panic like that? Nothing happened…
She should really go back and get some sleep.
She turned around and pulled at the door.
Locked.
No… not locked; stuck.
There was a wooden beam blocking it from opening. She didn't remember it being there before. But it was right in front of her, she could just remove it.
She reached for the beam, but recoiled when she touched it. It was burning hot. Why? And… was that smoke coming from the cracks in the wood? She didn't put that much firewood in the pit, did she?
Suddenly a hand landed on her shoulder, cold sharp claws began squeezing her and piercing her flesh painfully. It forced her to turn around from the heated door and look up at the person holding her.
But she couldn't see properly. She could smell the smoke, she could hear the crackling of the fire behind her, but her eyes were stinging with tears. She knew that this was not from the firepit. The building was ablaze.
Bishop was in there.
He was in there.
Someone was in there.
She could finally make out the person clutching her painfully. The Khajiit looked down on her. His hand was still firmly on her shoulder, the claws digging in deeper and deeper. It felt like he pierced her down to her bones. The pain was almost unbearable now.
He sneered at her. One of his fangs was broken off in the middle and his dark brown and auburn fur was decorated by four deep scars right across his face, his right eye swollen and blind from the old wound. A myriad of golden earrings on each of his ears rang when the cold wind hit them.
'RABBIT! RUN!'
It was his voice but she didn't see him speak.
She quickly dislodged herself from his grip, but the feeling of his claws on her was still there – a painful reminder.
She quickly turned back to the tavern. It was now fully engulfed in flames.
Somebody's in there!
She tried to scream, to get help, but nothing came out. She had to be silent. They told her to be silent… If anyone found out what she did…
She started to run, just like he told her to, weaving through the streets of Dawnstar, empty and abandoned. The snow was the only thing in her way. She closed her eyes. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she ran on. He was still in there, in that burning building. She needed to help him, but she needed to stay silent.
She tripped on something, something soft, unmoving.
She fell face-first into the deep snow... wait… it wasn't snow. It wasn't even cold.
She picked some of the white powder up with her hand and raised it to her nose tentatively, smelling it. It didn't have any odor. What was it? It felt familiar.
"Don't touch it, rabbit! That's not for children!"
Her head jerked back to see the man behind her – it was the one she tripped over. He was on the ground, unmoving, but his face was still twisted in a deep scowl as he yelled at her.
She felt small. She always felt small when he yelled at her. She crouched down and buried her head in between her knees instinctively.
"Don't worry, little rabbit. You did good. I can see the colors again. One more time, and I won't let him hurt you. Just one more time, I promise," his face turned gentle, his eyes glassy, almost regretful. She could always see so much in them. So much pain and suffering in those pitch-black eyes. So much need and despair.
And then the colors went away.
Like they always did.
A piercing scream filled the air, a string of hateful insults and the sound of glass shattering and wood breaking. It felt like she was back in that hovel, cowering in the corner.
She needed to get out.
He needed her help, but there was none to be found if she stayed.
She knew this.
She could do something if she only got away.
She ran through the door, leaving the small decrepit hovel behind while the screams still echoed in her ears. She ran, without stopping, passing the piles of strange snow, the burning tavern and the vicious stare of the Khajiit man.
She needed to help.
She collided with something. No… someone.
She looked up to see Bishop staring down at her while his comforting arms encircled her soothingly. "There's nothing you can do…" he sighed against her hair and his hands started to gently stroke up and down her back.
But… she needed to help…
She stood on her tiptoes and looked over his shoulder – the grey monochrome streets spread out everywhere the eye could see. There was nothing – no light, no people, just the cold grey stone.
Or was there?
She caught a movement in the corner of her eye, a shadow, weaving through the night and leaving something behind, down on the ground.
Something bright red.
Something screaming for help.
She tried to run towards it, towards the person on the ground, all covered in red, still screaming piercingly in hopeless agony.
But he wouldn't let go. He held her tightly in his embrace as the same sentence echoed through the air incessantly.
'There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do.'
She tried to pry herself off him. To help the screaming… woman. To help her friend.
He wouldn't let go.
She wanted to Shout, to do something, but nothing came out but a muffled groan. Her mouth was gagged. She couldn't see down, but she could feel the thick fabric lodged deep in her throat and the cold knife grazing along her cheek.
"You know, hla-aka, there's something I learned from my former guild mates…"
The embrace got painfully tight as the comfort of Bishop's arms was replaced by the cold indifference and twisted pleasure of the man speaking to her softly in a raspy voice. She tried to dislodge herself from him, fighting as hard as she could, but she was so weak. So powerless.
"The best part of the hunt is when your prey is cornered. When they look at you and all you can see is the last desperate plea for mercy. That, hla-aka, is when you know that their life is yours. That's when they give all they have, all they are… to you…"
The knife slid across her ear and down her neck but then a familiar sound swooshed right by her.
The man fell down limply onto the ground with an arrow protruding from his head and her body was suddenly free. She could move, she could breathe, she was free.
She turned around to see an auburn-haired huntress wink at her slyly; a pleased smirk spread across her face as she fastened her bow on the back of her black armor. "There's no glory in cornering your prey and scaring it into submission. The real hunt is out there. On the plains, on the fields. The real hunt is freedom. There's no tricks, only the survival of the stronger, only power. Like them…"
The huntress's bright eyes turned to the skies. A thousand enormous dark shapes circled around them, over the fields of Whiterun where they stood.
They were everywhere. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. All of them spoke to her in an ancient tongue. All of them had answers for her.
But she couldn't understand them. She could never understand them.
The beasts were swirling around, the wind was rising along their flight, creating powerful gusts which started throwing her around violently. She screamed out. She tried to stand her ground, but she couldn't. The whirlwind was sweeping her off her feet, throwing her around in whatever direction it wanted.
She had no control over it.
She was powerless.
The gusts of wind slashed around her, leaving a sharp burning pain in her back, as if they were whips cracking across her skin.
There was a storm coming.
'And I will not be the one to get swept up in it.'
The deep cold voice echoed in her head. She tried to withstand the winds. She opened her eyes, but all she could see was the man in heavy armor with a thick beard and a grandiose blue sash with the symbol of a bear's head upon it, smiling.
It was a disturbing smile, one that said much. One that made her aware just how lost she was getting in the storm.
Gusts of snow and ice threw her down on the ground, burying her under the thick white powder.
She tried to scream.
No one could hear her.
She screamed again, muffled by the heavy snow.
Then the ground started shaking. Strongly, frantically.
There was a… panic in the movement.
"WAKE UP!"
Her eyes snapped open to see Bishop's panicked face right in front of her. He looked so worried and… tired. He had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was disheveled and his face glistening slightly with sweat.
She looked around, still in shock. She looked around to see the…
Wait… where was she again?
Was there snow?
No… she was by the tavern firepit…
No…
She couldn't remember a thing…
"B-Bish…" she was still trembling. What was it? She had a nightmare, but she couldn't remember any of it.
He wrapped his arms around her with a sigh and pressed her towards him to calm her down. Truth be told, he himself didn't really look very calm. "It was just a dream, sweetness," he sighed again. His strong arms were so comforting.
She knew that!
"Did you have a nightmare too?" she ran her hand over his hair as she remembered the sight of him when he woke her.
"Yeah… don't remember what about. I told you that the horker meat tasted weird…" he chuckled slightly into her hair.
He did complain about that earlier.
It was a reasonable explanation – as it always was from him. He always found some sensible explanation to things she found strange and unsettling. Even if he didn't believe it himself, he probably just said it to calm her down.
Maybe he even said it to calm himself down.
"You wanna get dressed and get a drink or something? Maybe we'll sleep better after that…" he gave her a gentle kiss into her hair and eased his embrace on her.
She nodded. She still felt a bit confused, but it was probably a good idea.
They located their clothes tiredly, slowly dressing themselves.
Bishop was done first and he walked out of the room, leaving the door open for her.
SLAM
Just as she was about to walk into the common room, the door slammed in her face, closing behind him.
"Bishop?!" Did he do that? Why would he close the door?
She tried to open them but there was something blocking it. She tried again and again but it wouldn't budge. She could see the hint of the wooden beam over it through the slight crack.
Panic started to rise in her again, her breathing got heavy and her legs trembled.
She could smell smoke.
It was so hot in there.
"It's not so bad, little rabbit. It's quicker than you'd think."
Her head snapped back to see the Khajiit sitting on the bed which she was sharing with Bishop only a minute ago. His disturbing smirk uncovered the chipped fang.
"Everyone gets what's coming to them, rabbit."
The man patted the spot on the bed next to him, giving her an expectant look.
Her feet moved on her own.
One step, two, three.
Before she knew what was happening , she was sitting next to him, watching the flames engulf the wooden walls all around her.
She could feel his furry hand on her left thigh. She cringed, but she couldn't move. She couldn't even look down; the flames were the only thing in her sights.
The claws sunk in, five sharp trails carved into her skin. The pain coursed through her body and blood trailed down onto the sheets.
She screamed.
…
Bishop jerked awake suddenly, the sight of Jules's face was still in front of his eyes.
He remembered it so well. After all that shit, after all that was done to him, when his condition almost caught up with him.
Right before he was killed.
That sunken, sickly face.
Why was he thinking about it?
Wait… he had a dream, right?
Something about Jules… and the others… and Aeyrin.
Was she screaming?
He looked down beside him.
She whimpered on the bed, tossing and turning. She must have been having a bad dream too. He's never seen her so restless in her sleep.
He gently stroked over her shoulder, soothing her thrashy movements.
She didn't wake up. Of course she wouldn't – it took much more than that to wake her up. He considered letting her sleep for a while but the look on her face… it was so pained. He should really wake her up.
"No, no, no! Somebody's in there!" she yelled out suddenly as her face twisted into a pained grimace and tears started to form in the corners of her eyes.
He enveloped her in his arms quickly, forcing her to sit on the bed instead. He clutched her to himself and started stroking gently over her head and back. "Wake up, princess," he sighed, whispering to her ear. He gripped her even more firmly and shook her slightly when he felt her shiver in his arms.
A second later, three strained gasps escaped her mouth and her arms started grabbing at something that wasn't there before her nails dug into the skin of his back instead.
"B-Bish…" she whispered when she slowly regained her senses. Her body seemed to start to relax at least a little.
"It's alright, sweetness. Just a dream…"
"Y-yeah… I… I don't even remember it now…" she hid her face in his chest as her arms enfolded him and she squeezed herself to his form firmly.
"Maybe for the best…" he chuckled. He really never saw her this distressed in her sleep. Must have been quite something. Then again, he still felt pretty rattled too, for some reason.
"What do you say we get out of here, ladyship? There's something… I don't know. I just… surprisingly enough, I'd rather be in Solitude already…"
She only nodded eagerly in response. For whatever reason, she felt the strange uneasiness too.
Maybe they'd get some sleep on the boat.
There wouldn't be much else to do there anyway.