DOCTOR DINOZZO

Chapter 93-Part 3

Tony considered Abby's idea as he headed upstairs. Megan was going to spend her first Christmas without her mother. It was going to be difficult, at best. He and Abby would have to come up with something to make the holiday a little easier for Megan and Carson.

Tony sat Abby to work on the planning of the Christmas party. Tony went to work planning some unconventional gifts. Things like childcare for Megan while Carson worked, ready made nutritional meals, those type things. He contacted a favorite eatery and asked for meals to be delivered for a couple of weeks. He contacted Megan's school and acquired about the afterschool programs. He did not and could not enroll Megan in any of the programs. But, he wanted to have the information for Carson to look over.

Tony knew his neighbors pretty well. So, he asked several of them about holiday and weekend care for Megan. After school programs existed, of course, only after school. He asked them to give him a list of available weekend and holiday dates to make a babysitting schedule. Most of his neighbors had not heard about Claudia, and their hearts went out to Carson and Megan. They were more than happy to help out the Fisher family. And, while he was at it, Tony invited them all to his Christmas party.

Tony's apartment felt very small when he thought about all the people who would be in it in the next few hours. He had all the residents in the building plus his team members, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy and his family. And a few nurses and doctors from Bethesda were invited. It would certainly be a house full. He was not worried about the food. He would have plenty of food. He was just wondering where he was going to fit all these people.

His Christmas tree had never had so many presents under it. Everybody had gone all out on presents for Megan. They had gotten Carson things also. Some actual gifts, but most were envelopes. No doubt filled with gift cards or cash, to get them through the challenging times ahead.

Gibbs had made Megan a jewelry box out of oak. Abby went ahead and got her the doll she was thinking of. She also went ahead and bought Megan some clothes. She knew Claudia had done most of the shopping for the family. So, she doubted Carson would have any idea the things his little girl liked. Kate and Tim teamed up and bought Megan a full-sized doll house, complete with miniature wood furniture. The Palmers bought the tiny people that would go into Megan's dollhouse. They also bought her some books to read and a few coloring books. Ducky bought the little girl trip to the Build A Bear workshop. The nurses and doctors started a college fund for little Megan. They had $5,000 by the day of the party with more money still coming in.

Carson was very reluctant to go to any party, regardless of who was throwing it. Tony had gone out of his way to look after him and his daughter. But, Carson knew he could not celebrate Christmas as he had in the past. He didn't know if they would ever celebrate Christmas again. His heart ached for the love of his life. The woman he had planned to grow old with. The person he had planned to celebrate his daughter's milestones with.

Megan was suffering also. She had what was essentially Post-Traumatic Stress. It resulted in her not sleeping well and crying a lot. It was hard for Carson to deal with her when all she wanted to do was cry. It just deepened his sorrow and added to his stress because he knew he couldn't solve the problem. They both just needed time.

Megan grabbed her bear, and climbed into her dad's lap. "I want to go see Uncle Tony." She pulled the bear into her lap and hugged it tightly. It was the last present her mom ever gave her.

Carson cleared his throat before he could speak. The meer sight of the bear triggered emotions in him. He and Claudia had discussed the purchase just days before the fateful shopping trip. They were trying to decide to wait for Christmas or to just go ahead and give it to her. Claudia had tried to slip the purchase past Megan. But, she had seen her mom place it in her shopping cart, and she had gotten really excited. So, in the end they had decided to just give it to her. After all, she had plenty of gifts left to open on Christmas day. Carson hugged his daughter and looked at their tree. There were lots of gifts under the tree. Many wrapped and placed there by Claudia. She had let Megan try her hand at wrapping a couple she had bought for Carson. And their wrinkled paper and the overabundance of tape gave them away.

Carson could not help but smile at his young daughter's efforts. But, he was not sure he would be able to open any of the gifts. He and Megan had avoided the tree since the say that Tony had brought them home from the hospital. Megan had not mentioned Christmas. And she had acted, at times, as if it was not even in the room. Carson had not turned the tree on at all. The soft white lights were warming and cast a pleasant grow. But this year, they would only serve to illuminate the void left by one very special person.

"You really want to go?" Carson asked, almost praying his daughter would say no. He needed time. He needed the world to just stop turning for a little bit so that he could get off and recover. The rest of the world didn't know about his loss. They didn't know that he was in a fragile state. They didn't know he could not handle the world, full on, right now.

Megan seemed to read her father's mind. She patted him on the arm. "You need some guy time."

Carson looked at his daughter, puzzled. Then he burst into laughter. "How do you know about Guy Time?"

"Mama said that that was what you did on Friday and Saturday nights." Megan explained.

Megan was right. He did need some guy time.

Carson nodded. "But we need some daddy/daughter time."

Megan leaned back against his chest. "Mama's okay, Daddy. She's looking down on us. We don't want her to be sad."

Carson was shocked by Megan's words. "Why would she be sad?"

"She's looking down on us being sad." Megan said. "Tony said I would always remember her. He said I would have good memories."

Carson nodded. "That's right."

She looked up at him again. "Happy memories shouldn't make us sad."

Carson shook his head and smiled. He had a brilliant little girl as a daughter.

TBC