It is Your Destiny…
Coruscant, a few months later
"You know, the security detail is beginning to complain about the long hours you're making them work."
Leia looked up from her desk and saw her friend, Winter, leaning against the door jamb. A quick glance out the window let her know that she had once again worked until way after dark. "What time is it?"
"Late," Winter replied, walking into Leia's office. "I've been to dinner and back already. C'mon, you must be starved. And they really are ready to lock up the building."
"Of course, sorry." Leia stood, the muscles in her legs and back reminding her of how long she had been sitting at her desk.
"You're working too hard, Leia."
"Not you, too," Leia replied as she slid her datapad into her bag along with a few datashards and some notes.
"Why?" Winter smiled. "Has Carlist been by today?"
Leia gave her friend a pointed look. If she didn't know any better, she suspected that a few of her closest friends had developed some sort of calendar for who was supposed to lecture her about working too hard on which day. "No, it wasn't Carlist today."
"Really, then who?"
Leia slung her bag onto her shoulder and walked around her desk. "Threepio, actually."
"Threepio?" Winter asked, laughing. "I didn't know nagging was part of the deportment programming on protocol droids."
"I think it was an upgrade." Leia laughed in return as she shut the lights off in her office and followed Winter to the hallway.
In the lift, Winter cleared her throat and said, "How're you doing?"
"I'm fine," Leia regurgitated her pat reply. "Why?"
Winter shrugged her shoulder. "This job," she said, glancing back in the direction of Leia's office. "You could be doing so much more."
Leia laughed derisively, looking up to the ceiling of the lift and back at her friend. "I've done so much more." The doors to the lift opened and Leia began to step out. "And it's not all it's cracked up to be."
Leia walked across the large, empty foyer. The two women's heels clicked against the hard floor, echoing off the walls.
"When's the last time that you listened to it?"
Leia had her hand on the door to the exit and stopped at the sound of Winter's question.
"And before you say: Listen to what? I know, you know what I mean."
Turning back to look at her friend, Leia kept her fingers wrapped around the handle to the door as she answered, "What does that matter?"
Winter smiled a warm yet sad smile. "I think it might matter a great deal."
The pair walked in silence down the dark, deserted streets of downtown Coruscant. Most of the businesses around Leia's office building catered to professionals who were home tucking children into their beds by now. On the corner, a red, dimly lit sign promised all night fare.
"Wanna grab a bite?" Winter asked, nodding toward the tiny cafe.
"There?"
"Don't act so pretentious," Winter replied. "If the Princess of Alderaan can find enjoyment in an all-night eatery, so can you."
The two old friends grabbed a small booth in the back of the restaurant and placed their order with the server droid.
"Why don't you read it?" Winter asked.
"Alright," Leia replied, placatingly as she sprinkled two packets of sugar into her Coruscanti tea. She took a sip and then shrugging off her jacket, blew out an exhaustive breath. Winter was watching her intently. "What?" Leia asked. "Now?"
"You have it on you, don't you?" She replied. "Because, if not, I could recite it for you." Winter drew in a breath and began, "Leia. I don't know how to properly addr-"
"No," Leia interrupted, raising her hand as a signal to stop. And as the server droid delivered their food, she dug through her bag and pulled out her datapad. All under Winter's watchful gaze.
Leia placed her datapad on the table next to her bowl of calamari soup. She looked at Winter, who was meticulously cutting her steamed dumplings into tiny, bite-sized pieces.
Winter took a small piece of dumpling onto her fork and began to eat. "Go ahead," she said, after swallowing her food. "Don't mind me."
Leia sighed and then pulled the personal file up on her screen. As she took her first bite of soup, she began reading:
Leia. I don't know how to properly address you. Because you are me. Or I am you. The future you. I can only assume that you will find this in another time and place. You see, Luke and I - Luke's your brother, your twin brother, but hopefully you'll know that - Luke found a way to go back in time and fix a few things so that our futures would be better. I can't really give you any details. Luke would kill me if he knew I was doing this at all. But you see, there's one thing that I wanted to tell you.
Above all else, no matter how horrific my life has been and regardless of the tragedies that I have witnessed there is only one thing, one reason why I didn't want to go back and change it all for the better. Depending on how old you are when you find this you may find it hard to believe or perhaps, knowing myself, you may find this hard to believe at any age. But the reason I didn't want to change anything, the one sole reason was that…I love someone. I love someone more than life itself. More than peace in the galaxy and happiness for my entire lifetime. But I guess…that isn't entirely true because here I am, helping Luke do this thing that is supposed to erase it all. You see, I chose once again to put the happiness of the entire galaxy above my own. But I pray to save this one thing.
I got married last week. And everything in my life was…is perfect. This man is, and can be, the only one that understands me and loves me for who I am. Who you are. I do worry that if I grow up under different circumstances that perhaps I won't be who I am today. But even then...even then, I have to believe that he and I are meant for each other and deserve to end up together over a million possible futures I could weave.
Anyway, I have to go now, if Luke finds this he may make me erase it. I've instructed this Artoo unit, who has played a vital role in my life and the life of those closest to me for a long, long time, to deliver this to you some time in what will be your future, my past. I only hope that you somehow come across him and find this message and drop your hard-headed stubbornness for just these few minutes and try and believe what I say. His name is Han Solo and he is from Corellia. When I met him he was a smuggler and an outlaw and an overall scoundrel. He was…arrogant and self-centered and teased me incessantly. I only tell you these things to warn you, because underneath all of that he is the most patient, kind, intelligent and brave man that I have ever known. And I've had occasion to meet many brave men and women in the life I have led.
If it's love you cannot force it. I know that and so must you. If you only maybe could find him. Or open up yourself to the possibility. I don't know. I don't know if what we do here today will forever taint the path of our love. But this man. I would die a thousand times for him and he for me. And no matter how different I sound to you, I am you. I know that may be hard to believe and you could never imagine yourself giving up any of your dreams and aspirations, whatever they may be now, for any one man. But you will. And it will be the most fantastic experience you'll ever know. Trust me.
When she was finished reading, her soup was cold and Winter's plate was empty. Her friend sat across the table with her arms folded, patiently waiting. Leia shrugged at her. "I don't know what you think that was supposed to accomplish."
"What does it mean to you now? Almost ten years later?"
Leia looked down at the words on the screen, remembering the young girl she had been when she first heard them and all that she had been through since. She looked back up and met Winter's eyes. "That whatever it is that Luke and I did, it didn't work." She thought of her mother and father. Of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and all the Jedi lost at the Temple. And Bail. "You of all people, should know that."
Winter's gaze fell down to the table as the server droid cleared their plates away. When she looked back up to Leia, her eyes were glassy but still determined. "What exactly do you think you and Luke went back in time for?"
"To fix everything," Leia replied.
"No," Winter quickly snapped back. "Be specific. Think of everything she...you said."
Leia thought for a second, even glanced back down at her datapad and picked out a few key words. She thought of her conversation with Mara and what had happened to the Dark Side when she killed her father. "To fix the Force?" she asked, shrugging and looking back at Winter, she sighed tiredly, "I don't know. I don't know what you want me to see. Most of this message seems to be...just like Luke accused me of - about Han."
"That's only appropriate," Winter replied. "This was a private message from you to you. Whatever else you and Luke did was for other reasons, to fix the Force - as you put it, may have been one of them, but this was about you. There's nothing to feel guilty about there."
"Okay, so, what exactly do you want me to find in it after all this time?"
Winter drew a deep breath and let it out. "You said you thought that you and Luke went back to fix everything, but I asked you to be more specific. Then you said maybe it was to fix the Force. Or that it was just about Han, but I think it's important for you to realize exactly what it is that you told yourself."
Leia looked back down at the words on her datapad. "I'm tired, I-"
"You were in a rush when you recorded it. Afraid of being caught. I think you would've provided key details up front."
"So it's in the first paragraph?"
Winter nodded.
Leia looked back down.
"Read it out loud," Winter said. "Please."
Leia shrugged and began reading, "Leia. I don't know how to properly address you. Because you are me. Or I am you. The future you. I can only assume that you will find this in another time and place. You see, Luke and I - Luke's your brother, your twin brother, but hopefully you'll know that - Luke found a way to go back in time and fix a few things so that our-" She stopped, looking up to Winter.
Winter nodded her head, smiling.
"So that our futures would be better," Leia finished the sentence. Our futures? Leia looked up at her friend, dumbstruck. It hadn't been about the past. What they had done had never been about the past. The past was only a means to an end, so to speak. Fixing the Force was only part of that means.
"How old do you think you and Luke were when you recorded that?"
Leia tried to recall what the woman in the recording had looked like. "I don't have the benefit of an eidetic memory, but I think I remember her looking something like me...now."
"And your voice?" Winter asked. "Sometimes auditory memories are easier to recall. But I can tell you, with the benefit of my eidetic memory, that your voice sounds exactly the same as the original recording."
"And whatever had happened to us had, of course, already happened. The...tragedies."
Winter reached her hand across the table and squeezed Leia's hand. "You'd be hard-pressed to find any beings in this galaxy that haven't experienced some level of personal tragedy. And yes, you may have had more than others, but you are also operating at a level that would expose you to more opportunities than say," Winter looked around the little restaurant, "the owner of this cafe."
Leia had always assumed that her entire life had been altered by whatever she and Luke had done, and it probably had. But that had not been their ultimate goal. She didn't like to think about the time that the darkness had taken hold of her, but she thought of it now and she thought of what had happened when her father died. How had Mara put it? Like a curtain being drawn back to let in the light.
But they hadn't gone back for that moment and all that had come before it. They had gone back for that moment and for what would come after. For what Luke and Mara were now doing, were now able to do with the Force - studying it holistically instead of ignoring that grey area that Mara spoke of. She had been so wrapped up in grief for killing her father that she hadn't been able to look at it with the objectivity needed to see it fully.
And it made sense. Maybe she had always been destined to experience tragedy, but she and Luke had gone back in time to ensure that those tragedies had mattered in the end. Dawning spread over her like morning light against the side of a mountain.
She looked up at Winter. "Thank you," she whispered.
"Don't thank me, yet," Winter replied. "Not until you tell me what you plan to do with this information."
Leia chuckled. "You're nothing if not tenacious." She raised her hands up in question. "What would you like me to do?"
"Simple. I'd like to see you enjoy the future that you helped change."
The future. Luke's future seems bright, she thought. But what about hers? For so long she thought that she had to find her place in the universe through some title or role or other. Yet, Luke didn't even know if he was even a Jedi any longer and he had looked happier than she'd ever seen him lately. Him and Mara, flitting across the universe figuring things out together and just...living.
She hadn't been living. She had been barely existing ever since Naboo. "I don't know," she finally said to a patiently waiting Winter.
"Don't know what?"
About Han, she thought. But, maybe they had been destined to struggle, too. And maybe what was really important for them was also what might come next. Even thinking about Han made her feel inexplicably happier and tears gathered at the backs of her eyes. She had worked really hard at trying not to think about him. She worked on that more than anything else. Even at her stupid job.
She shook her head. "I don't even know where he is or if he would want to see me."
"Well," Winter said, with the warmest of smiles. "One of those things can be found out fairly easily."
Coruscant, the next day
"Jedi Skywalker," Airen Cracken smiled. "What can I do for you today?"
"I'm looking for someone."
"Ah," he said, smiling knowingly. "I'm sorry, but I haven't seen Solo in almost a year now."
"When did you see him last? He was working for you, right? How'd he leave things?"
He leaned back in his chair. "He came back here after Naboo."
Cracken paused and Leia nodded in his silence.
"He was pretty banged up," Airen continued. "Pretty hacked off, too. Handed in his stripes, for the third time, no less. But this time...I can read people. It's my job to read people. And he meant business. This time was different."
"Okay, so you just let him go? Did he say anything else?"
"He wanted that ship. The Millennium Falcon. But he couldn't afford it outfitted the way that it was, so we agreed on a compromise."
"Such as?"
"I followed standard protocol when an asset is no longer needed: I had it stripped of any valuable parts and sent to the junkyard."
Leia shook her head. "Are you talking about Han or the Falcon?"
That made the leader of SIS actually crack a smile. He tapped his stylus against his desk a few times, studying Leia. "He bid on the hunk of junk. And just so you don't think I'm entirely without a heart, I might've let it go for way less than it was actually worth. Maybe the exact amount of Solo's last paycheck."
Leia stood. "Now why would anyone think that you didn't have a heart?" She turned and walked toward the door.
"Leia?"
She stopped and turned back.
"He spent some time on Nar Shadaa with that ship. I'd start there."
Leia nodded and then turned around and left.