Chapter 27: Alexandra

"Where's my baby?"

Those were the first words out of my mouth when I woke up.

I'd opened my eyes and tried to sit up, feeling pain sear through my ribcage and the tube attached to the needle in my arm strain against my movement. I felt super lightheaded and just attempting to sit up had made me feel dizzy. I also felt panicked, though—as if a part of me had gone missing.

"No you don't," Paul said, gently pressing me down against the pillows again.

I hadn't even realized that he was in the room and I met his eyes, seeing the signs of exhaustion clear on his face but there was also a light in his eyes that made my heart swell. It made me wonder how long I'd been out for.

"Where's our baby?" I repeated.

"She's fine, don't worry, she—"

"She?"

A grin lifted Paul's lips. "Yes, she."

"Alexandra," I breathed. "I want to see her. Is she okay?"

"She's perfect," Paul said. "The doc just needs to look you over first."

"I'm sorry, Mel," Carlisle said, entering the room. "I know that you're anxious to see her and I promise you'll be able to soon, but the birth took quite a toll on your body and I need to make sure your ribs are setting properly."

"Okay," I grumbled.

Paul chuckled and held my hand. "You also have a lot of morphine running through your system."

"Is that why I feel so…?"

"High?" he prompted with a smile.

I chuckled. "Yeah, high."

I noticed the small smile on Carlisle's lips as he began to examine me. I was anxious for him to finish—I just wanted to see my daughter.

"None of your broken ribs punctured any organs," Carlisle informed me. "You're very lucky, Mel."

"And everything's okay with Alexandra?" I whispered, fearing the answer.

"She's perfectly healthy," Carlisle confirmed. "Because she came early, she's a lot smaller than average and her body temperature is on the cooler side—but that's completely normal. Her breathing and heart rate are both stronger than in usual premature cases." Carlisle took a deep breath and hesitated before saying, "I hate to tell you this, but I don't believe your arms will be strong enough to hold her on your own just yet. You have enough morphine in your system that your entire body is numb."

"Yeah, I can't really feel my arms," I said. "But I still want to see her."

"Of course," Carlisle said.

At his words, Rosalie swept into the room, holding a small bundle of blankets in her arms. She smiled warmly at me before handing the bundle over to Paul and exiting the room with Carlisle to give us some privacy.

I shifted slightly in the bed, feeling my body strain painfully against the movement and Paul turned and adjusted the blankets wrapped around her so that I could see her.

My breath caught in my throat as my eyes focused on her—she was absolutely perfect.

She was tiny, especially in comparison to Paul's huge arms, and her skin was relatively pink—which was to be expected from her premature birth. She had very fine, dark hair atop her head and extremely delicate facial features.

She was asleep but as I reached over and touched her hand, her tiny fingers wrapped around my index finger and I nearly started weeping in joy.

"Isn't she perfect?" Paul whispered. I nodded, throat feeling tight. Paul leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "You're the strongest person I know."

"Have you seen your muscles?" I teased.

"I have an idea," Paul murmured. "I want you to be able to hold her."

"No, Paul, I'm too weak—"

"I have an idea," he repeated.

He stood from his chair and climbed into bed next to me. Then, he shifted and he was sitting behind me, his entire body essentially wrapped around mine. As gentle as ever, he shifted again and placed our daughter in my arms, his arms below mine to support them and aid me in holding her. I leaned against him, my back aligned with his chest and sighed in content. He'd moved me in a way that had been virtually painless—either that or my body was number than I'd initially thought it was.

I'd always thought that the love that I had for Paul was the greatest thing that I'd ever experience in my entire life but as I held our daughter in my arms for the first time, I knew that I'd been wrong. There were no words to describe the love that I felt for her. It felt like she'd filled a hole in my life that I hadn't even known was there.

I heard the quiet click of a camera shutter and glanced up to see Alice in the doorway, holding her small digital camera and sending a sheepish smile my way. "I thought the moment should be documented."

"Thank you, Alice," I said.

She approached the hospital bed and squeezed my hand. "You really scared us for a bit there, Mel."

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brow. I felt Paul's arms tighten slightly around me and I glanced back at him, giving him a confused look.

"We…we thought we'd lost you," Alice explained quietly. "You passed out and you'd stopped breathing. Carlisle was afraid that your ribs had punctured a vital organ or that the pain had been too much for your body to handle."

"And then I just…came back?" I asked, bewildered.

"Well…with some help from Carlisle," Alice said. "But from what he's told me it didn't take too much work. I don't think you were actually gone but it was a scary couple of moments."

"Honestly…I felt like I was gone," I whispered. "I…I don't know how I was able to hold on."

Alice squeezed my hand again. "But you did hold on and that's all that matters."

I sent a watery smile her way and she left the room, gently closing the door behind her. Paul and I were quiet for a few moments before I very quietly broke the silence.

"I almost left you again."

"I wasn't going to let that happen."

I turned and stretched upwards to kiss him. "You know…I've been very close to death a few times and every time, you are what's brought me back. This time, though, it was her. I barely even saw her before I passed out but somehow when I was out…I saw her so clearly."

"Mother's instinct, maybe?" he suggested.

"Maybe," I murmured, looking back down at Alexandra. I felt like I never wanted to stop looking at her. I couldn't believe that after all of the stress and pain the pregnancy had caused, she was finally here in my arms.

"Alexandra Harriet Harmon-Lahote," Paul whispered.

I smiled. "I think just Lahote sounds better."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "It flows better and…I think I want to take your last name."

He kissed the top of my head and held me tighter. We laid together in the makeshift hospital bed and I knew that as long as I was with Paul and Alexandra, I was home.