AN: Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
There were many ways Severus had envisioned this evening progressing. He'd expected inane questions, over idealization, and a shouting match. For the last month, he'd prepared himself for anything.
Nothing could've prepared him for a Harry who only made occasional small talk with Hermione, showed baby pictures of James, then sat in silence for the rest of the evening.
Harry nibbled at his lemon biscuit, scratching the armrest of the leather recliner. Hermione sat on the couch, picking at a loose thread on her purple pillow. Severus floated beside her, bracing himself for what was to come next.
The longer the silence continued, the more Severus' glow flickered. A thousand scenarios went through the spirit's mind. Perhaps Harry had learned to think before speaking, or perhaps he was waiting for him-and by extension Hermione-to make the first move. He hoped Harry wasn't trying to find anything negative to say about the biscuits. The Trinity knew how hard Hermione had worked on them, and how much she fretted about how they would taste. They looked just fine when Hermione had taken them out of the oven. Then again, without smelling them it was more difficult to determine if they came out right.
"These biscuits are amazing." He put the last of his into his mouth.
"I'm glad you enjoy them," She glanced up from the pillow.
"When James gets old enough, you'll have to make some for him. Hell, you could make some for me the next time I come over."
"I'll give you the recipe if you want. That way you can have them whenever you'd like"
"Yeah," he twisted his lower lip and fidgeted. "I think I'd like that."
Severus continued to stare at the mortal man. What had Sirius said to him that led him to behave this way? Had Sirius advised against communicating with Severus at all? If so this promised to be a long evening.
"Where did you learn to bake biscuits, Severus?"
The spirit went white.
"Excuse me?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I want to know when he learned to bake biscuits," Harry scratched his knee.
"Wait," she drawled. "You've spent the better part of eight years regretting Severus' death, telling anyone who would listen how much you'd like to say to him, and the first thing you ask when you are with him is where he learned to make biscuits?"
"Yes, I'm genuinely curious about where he learned to bake."
Hermione furrowed her eyebrows.
"Last night, I had a dream, and in it someone told me how to handle this situation. He said I needed to treat Severus like a human."
Severus sat up straighter. So Sirius did get through to him.
"I thought one way to humanize Severus would be to ask something small, like where he learned to bake biscuits," Harry continued.
She turned to Severus, her eyes pleading for some direction.
"I have no problem discussing biscuits," Severus said. "Best to start light I suppose."
"Sure," Hermione drawled.
"As you know, I grew up with very little. There were nights when I went to bed hungry, and my mother's cooking often left something to be desired. When I finally procured the funds to reliably make my own food, I decided to get creative with my cooking. I'd always had a sweet tooth, much more than many realized. It only made sense for me to start making desserts."
She relayed the story.
"Did you get this from a recipe then?" Harry asked.
She turned to her lover.
"My mother had an old recipe, but I toyed with it until I perfected it."
Harry listened to Hermione's translation.
"I see," He nodded his head. "These are delicious."
"I'm glad they meet your oh so lofty standards." Severus fought to keep from rolling his eyes.
She glared at him.
"What?" His glow intensified. "You don't have to tell him I said that."
"I won't," Hermione replied in a low voice.
Harry's chuckle diverted their gaze from each other.
"I'm sorry, but you look like Luna when I've said something stupid." He pointed to Hermione.
"How could she look like Luna? I did not say anything stupid," Severus argued.
"Yes, you did," she returned her attention to the spirit.
"I only told the truth."
"You were being a git."
"You've known I was a git from the day we met."
"True, but you're usually nicer about it."
"What do you love most about Severus?"
They looked at Harry.
"I know how closed off you were from the world, and what it must have taken for you to open your heart to another love," Harry wiped the crumbs from his hands. "What about Severus convinced you to fall in love again?"
"I finally had an equal." Her eyes took on a dreamy quality. "Severus, is intelligent, loyal, and has the sharpest wit I've ever encountered. Yet, like me, he was broken. He knew what it was like to be forsaken and have the world against you."
Severus put his hand over hers. A smile graced her face.
"I can tell he makes you happy." Harry said. "You have a glow about you. You're more at peace with the world too."
"I'm very happy."
"Yes, and," he cleared his throat. "I would like to apologize for both you and Severus for my earlier behavior. I never should've doubted he was here, and his love for you."
"I've forgiven you," she glanced over at Severus.
"I have as well," the spirit replied. "You were trying to help a friend, as misguided as your attempt was. I suppose I should not hold that against you."
She said as much to the mortal.
"Yes, friends," his gaze became distant. "Friends are important."
Severus' glow went white. He knew where this was going.
"Hermione, are," Harry gulped. "Are you going to be upset if I ask Severus about my mother?"
"No," she answered. "Honestly, I'm surprised it's taken you this long to bring her up."
"I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable about her. If discussing her is going to make you uncomfortable, I can ask about other things."
"It won't upset me," she glanced at Severus. "Will it upset you?"
"No, we need to discuss her sooner rather than later." Severus' glow was its usual hue.
"He says it's best to discuss her sooner than later."
"Okay." Harry folded his hands and took a deep breath. "I want to know more about my mother as a person. I know how you two became friends, but I want to know what she was like."
"Very well then, but first, you must understand that my emotions are tempered by the Trinity's assessment of her and Hermione's place in my life," Severus warned.
"Are you sure you want me to say that?" Hermione asked.
"I am," Severus' glow was brighter. "If Harry wants the truth we need to give it to him."
"Fine." She told Harry what Severus had said.
"Sure, that's fine," he replied. "I want a real opinion of her, not just another person making her out to be a saint, when she wasn't one."
"Technically she is a saint now," Hermione replied. "She is in heaven. All heavenly souls are saints."
"But she spent time in Purgatory, so she wasn't like a Catholic saint."
"Correct."
"Then please, give me a nuanced view of my mother."
"Your mother could be very kind." Severus' glow was a daffodil yellow. "She befriended me when few others would give me a second glance. She was one of my staunchest defenders, or so I thought."
Hermione bit her lower lip.
"Sirius said she was already speaking with James before the worst day of my life. Her loyalty to me was already waning."
"Really?" Her eyes grew.
"What is he saying?" Harry asked.
"Sirius said she was already speaking with James when she was still claiming to be your friend. Your mother's loyalty to him was waning."
Harry slouched.
"Please don't misunderstand me, she did stand up to me, and she did not approve of James' antics. In that respect, she was still my friend," Severus explained.
Hermione relayed that.
"If she didn't approve of my father's antics, why did she speak with him?" Harry asked.
"James was charismatic in his own way. He could be charming to professors and other students. That's why he got away with so much, and why he's spending so much time in celestial intake," Severus replied.
"Do I want to know what celestial intake is?" Harry asked after Hermione's translation.
"From what I understand, no."
She shook her head.
"Please, continue then," Harry said.
"During the summers, when we were alone, those were some of the best moments of my mortal life." Severus' lips curled up. "There was a little grove of trees we would visit just to practice magic and read. She was studious. Most people don't give her enough credit for her intelligence, which is a shame." He turned blue. "She could've been an amazing arithmancy professor had she had been given the chance."
She relayed the message.
"Did she say she wanted to be a professor?" Harry asked.
"Initially she wanted to be a veterinarian of all things. She was quite good with animals, but by the time we were older she was less certain of that career goal. I think after meeting magical creatures she soured on the profession," Severus' glow was yellow once more. "Don't get me wrong, she always had a way of calming animals. She could calm a room just be walking into it. She was one of those people who could effortlessly put anyone at ease."
Hermione's expression was unreadable.
"She was not perfect for me though." He touched her shoulder with his fingers, sending a jolt of love through her. "You are."
Hermione relaxed before conveying the message.
"Apparently she didn't calm the Trinity," Harry noted.
"They saw the parts of her even I didn't want to admit," Severus began.
Hermione told that to Harry.
"What parts of her did the Trinity see that you did not want to?" Harry asked.
"She could be shallow, especially as a teenager. There was a part of her that wanted the wealth James Potter offered her. She was not a gold digger, but wealth intrigued her."
Harry was quiet after Hermione spoke.
"I cannot say I blame her. I was intrigued by power, she was intrigued by wealth. We all had our temptations, which we gave into, ultimately to our detriment."
She said as much to Harry.
"The Trinity was correct in calling her wrathful. One thing they may have taken note of too was her self-righteousness." The spirit continued. "She had a very strict moral code which for the most part, she abided by. Yet, she was able to overlook the bullying I underwent, at least if Sirius is to be believed."
Hermione told Harry what the spirit had said.
"The more I meditate upon it, the more I realize it was hypocritical for her to discard me because of my beliefs, yet have little problem with the Marauders' actions. Then there was her wrath, which the Trinity rightfully pointed out."
Hermione echoed his words.
"I am going to be honest," the spirit's glow intensified. "I spent my life believing I was the only problem in our relationship. If I had just done this or said that, I could have been the man by her side. Sirius, Hermione, the Trinity, Dismas, and even Metatron to an extent, helped me realize there was nothing to save. Our friendship ended the day we entered Hogwarts. It took us a few years to realize that though."
Hermione conveyed everything which had been said, save the names of the celestial beings he'd given. There was no need to confuse him with additional names.
"Your mother was a complex person, much more complex than I realized in life. At her heart though, she was a good person who saved your life. None of her less than stellar qualities lessen the sacrifice she made." Severus' glow softened. "That is what you should take with you. Your mother was an imperfect person who loved and sacrificed herself for you, and is now in heaven, praying for you to join her."
"I can believe that," Harry replied after Hermione finished speaking.
Silence reigned in the room. It was both awkward, yet strangely comforting.
"I'm sorry for how I treated you in life," Harry's voice was barely above a whisper. "I shouldn't have treated you like a villain."
"I had my role to play…"
"I also apologize for how I behaved after your death."
"I thought we established that Hermione and I…"
"I shouldn't have made you into a perfect man who did everything out of a sense of unrequited love."
Severus closed his mouth.
"The truth is, I was so focused on redeeming you that I forgot to allow you to be a human. I made you into a god, and that was wrong." Harry looked in Severus' direction. "I'm sorry."
More silence.
"Yes well," Severus' glow lessened. "I apologize for how I behaved as well. Even if I was wearing a mask, I should have seen you as more than James and Lily's son. I never gave you a chance to be your own person. That was wrong of me."
Hermione gave Harry Severus' apology.
"I wish I could see you," Harry said. "Still, I want you to know I wish you and Hermione nothing but happiness. All I've ever wanted was for her to be happy, and she is with you."
"I wish nothing more than for her to be happy too."
"That being said," his expression hardened. "I know a few priests who could perform an exorcism if you ever hurt her."
"Harry," She scolded.
"Why does everyone threaten me with a bloody exorcism?" Severus snapped. "Saved souls can't be exorcised."
"I don't think saved souls can be exorcised," Hermione replied.
"I'll find a way to get rid of him if he hurts you." Harry blinked.
She couldn't help but grin in return.
"I'm glad you both are happy, and that you know what it's like to be loved in return. Don't ever lose that. It's the best feeling in the world." Harry said.
"Indeed it is." Severus' glow was a light shade of pink.
Harry took a deep breath as he glanced up at heaven. "I can feel him."
"Feel who?" Hermione asked.
"Severus," Harry said. "I knew in my mind he was here, but now I know it in my heart."
It was then that Severus understood what true peace was.
