Ohlala! I am so sorry for the delay with this chapter!
Enjoy, and I shall be better behaved from now on!
"is this really necessary?" She said reproachfully as Severus emerged from the far side of the forest a few hours later, fully dressed in his robes.
"Of course it is," he said shortly. "do you want everyone gossiping?"
"There are only teachers here today, no one would think anything of the two youngest members of staff running together."
"Of course they would. And you think I want people to see me in anything other than the strictest attire?"
"Okay, I do admit that seeing you in anything other than black and buttons may undermine your authority and awaken sexual awareness in even the most shriveled of witches."
Severus snorted. "Enough of that nonsense."
He tapped his robes with his wand and they seemed to melt away, replaced with a pair of black jogging bottoms and a long-sleeved black t shirt. His dragon boots had been swapped for the white trainers he wore for his workouts and duelling training.
"It's not nonsense," she teased as they stretched together on the other side of the forest, far away from the prying eyes of the castle. "No one can imagine the muscly, toned body that you keep under all those layers."
She could see Severus' eyes lighten despite himself. He may be in the deepest depths of his darkness, but she knew exactly how to reach him down there.
"Right, let's get going," she said once they'd warmed up sufficiently. "Let me know if I run too fast!"
She thought she heard him mutter, "in your dreams" before she set off, tracing the familiar path around the lake that she liked to take.
She started at a steady rhythm, knowing that Severus, although extremely fit, was not used to running. After fifteen minutes she quickened her pace, pushing him, just as she knew she had to, letting him pour his anger and frustration into his muscles, burning up the horror and injustice of what he had done physically. She could hear him huffing and panting alongside of her, but she didn't speak and she didn't look at him, giving him privacy, letting him vent out his negativity through physical exertion.
She breathed in the cool Scottish air deeply and listened to the tweeting birds and occasional fish jumping in the lake. She had missed this, the nature, the savageness, the space.
As much as she loved living with Severus or seeing Remus, she hated being cooped up in the city.
Perhaps when all of this was over, she would buy a house in the countryside with Severus.
She remembered with a pang that she still hadn't bought a new place to live, as they had agreed. She was supposed to have bought two new flats to live in by now for when the Order no longer trusted her and she needed a place to stay.
She gasped for breath suddenly as she realised what the first of September meant.
Any day from tomorrow, Severus could kill Albus, and be cast out as a traitor and a murderer for ever. Tomorrow could be the day that Serena and Severus would be separated... That Albus Dumbledore would die...
She choked suddenly and Severus snorted again next to her. "Want me to slow down?"
She focussed on his voice and breathed in deeply, forcing herself to fall back into the breathing rhythm she had taught herself.
"Definitely not," she panted, pushing her negative thoughts away. "I was just thinking about quickening my pace for the last mile. Don't you agree?"
Instead of answering, Severus accelerated, passing in front of her and taking the lead back to the forest.
The run had certainly done him good, she reflected as they stretched once more in the protection of the trees. They were both drenched in sweat and Serena was sure she was bright red, but it didn't stop Severus stepping forward and pressing his lips roughly to hers, kissing her hard and unexpectedly, literally taking her breath away.
Her eyes widened in surprise as she felt the intensity of his gratitude mixed in with darkness and broken shards of hurt and anger.
He was irreparable this time, she knew that, she knew that she would never be able to put all the pieces back together, but she would never stop trying.
She kissed him back hard and smiled when he let her go.
"Does this mean you'll come running with me again?"
He grunted and touched his clothes again, charming his running attire back to robes. "don't push your luck, witch," he muttered, strolling into the trees without a backwards glance at her.
…
"Now then, this is a very particular time and will be a very trying year for us all, as I'm sure you are all aware," Albus began, surveying them all gravely over his half-moon glasses. He had chosen bright magenta robes that evening, Serena noted, a bitter note covering the fondness that she used to feel for the older wizard. His pointed hat bobbed from side to side as he greeted his staff members.
They were all sitting along the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall and Serena was squeezed in between Minerva and Poppy. Severus hadn't shown up yet.
"I'm sure you were all given the once-over with the probity probes upon arrival, and the aurors have assured me that the students and their luggage will be thoroughly checked tomorrow also. As frustrating as this is, the security of our students is clearly our priority."
Several of the other teachers nodded and murmured to each other in agreement.
"There are several other security measures that will be added to the castle this year. Firstly, there will be a constant presence of aurors, and members of the Order of the Phoenix in the castle at all times. A timetable has been set up with the Order members, and Nymphadora Tonks has negotiated two aurors on a rolling basis for the castle. Thankfully, Minister Scrimgeour is slightly more reactive than his predecessor, and I feel confident that the castle will be secure this year. Ah, Severus, how kind of you to join us."
Serena supressed a smile as Severus stormed towards them, his black robe billowing behind him and his dragon-hide boots echoing on the stone slabs. Minerva clicked her tongue next to Serena and Poppy chuckled quietly.
"Always likes to make an entrance."
Serena smirked at Poppy's comment and watched as Severus swung himself down onto the end of the bench, opposite Pomona and next to the new potions teacher Serena assumed to be Slughorn. As if reading her thoughts, Albus clapped his hands together and gasped rather dramatically.
"How awful of me!" he exclaimed, turning to the rather plump wizard with a balding head and a sweaty brow. "How rude, I haven't even introduced our new staff members for the year, although I'm sure most of you know each other already. May I present my dearest friend, and previous teacher here at Hogwarts, Horace Slughorn. Horace will be taking over the role of Potions Master, whilst Severus replaces Professor Umbridge as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."
"How did he manage that?" Minerva asked Serena as Horace Slughorn said a few words to the group.
She shrugged, very wary that few teachers were aware of their relationship. "No idea," she replied quietly.
"And it is also my pleasure to welcome Professor Charity Burbage, our new Muggle Studies teacher, a subject, I think we all agree, which is more important than ever, welcome my dear."
Charity was perhaps in her late-forties, Serena thought, although it was always difficult to tell with magical people. She had long greying blonde hair and green eyes. As everyone leant over the table to greet her, Serena's eyes connected with Severus'.
Foolish woman, he scolded inside her head.
Serena gave an internal frown. What would you have her do? The subject is important.
Severus rolled his eyes and broke their connection as Albus continued his speech.
Hogsmeade visits were to be patrolled by double the amount of teachers as usual, and were not open to third or fourth years this year. Albus justified his decision by arguing that the older students could defend themselves and would know what to do if there was an attack, although Poppy and Severus were displeased and argued that sending any students to the village was asking for trouble.
They were overruled by Albus and the meeting continued. The most interesting moment of the evening was, as always, the distribution of their timetables by Minerva.
Serena saw happily that she had Friday afternoons off, and she looked forward to comparing her hours with Severus'.
After another half an hour of school talk, Albus put his notes back into his pocket, waved his wand and declared the teachers feast open.
"Gosh I've missed this," Serena grinned as the table filled with delicious smelling food; chicken wings, lasagna, potato wedges, egg-fried rice, lamb curry, beetroot salad, mozzarella and tomatoes… and the list went on.
Horace Slughorn made quite a to-do about serving the wine so he could personally greet everyone, and Serena was rather surprised at her first conversation with him.
"And who is this mysterious young beauty," he bellowed rather loudly, looking down at her with sparking eyes.
Serena smiled politely and put down her knife and fork.
"Serena," she smiled warmly. "Serena Lake, Charms Professor."
"Serena Lake," he beamed, "Lake, now why do I know that name… ah," he suddenly looked quite awkward and his posture became more rigid. "Of course. Well, nice meeting you."
He moved past her without even serving her any wine, and Serena felt her cheeks burning. She stood up suddenly, plastering a sweet smile on her face and turning to the man who was now accosting Poppy.
"Horace?"
"Yes dear," he said rather distractedly.
"Perhaps you were acquainted with my parents? Or maybe you have just heard of them?"
"Well, yes, the names ring a bell," he said curtly, clearly uncomfortable with their conversation that half the staff were now listening to. "Azkaban, aren't they?" he said distastefully.
"Dead," she corrected curtly. "But I didn't know them… We were estranged."
Horace seemed to relax slightly at this, but he still gazed at her with wary eyes. "Of course, of course…"
Seeing that she was wasting her breath, Serena sat back down, scowling at her plate. She didn't know why she sought the man's approval, but it annoyed her to be judged by her surname only, and even more so when it legally wasn't even her name anymore! Not that anyone could know that of course.
She couldn't stop herself from glancing up at Severus who was shovelling food into his mouth at record speed. As predicted, within three minutes he had wiped his lips with his napkin and stood up.
"If you'll excuse me. Good evening."
As usual, Albus and several other teachers protested, Severus scowled, and they all eventually let him leave.
Serena felt her heart sink. She was glad to be back with Minerva, Poppy and Pomona, but she hated thinking of Severus by himself, moping in his darkness.
She stayed for another hour, catching up with everyone and getting to know Charity, who seemed very nice and easy to get along with. Then, she excused herself quietly and walked silently through the quiet castle, making no sound as she swept down the steps to the second floor.
She cast several revealing charms to make sure that no one was watched her, before bypassing her door and knocking softly on the door to Severus' new chambers.
She waited for almost a minute before the door was flung open and a scowling Severus stood there, his robes still billowing around him.
She slipped under his arm and into the room and he shut the door behind her with a firm click.
"Wow," she said softly, gazing around his new rooms. "You've been busy."
Her first thought was that it reminded her of the dungeons, but… darker. There was only one small rectangular window on the far-side of his living room, and with the late hour, hardly any light was entering the space.
The room was big, bigger than her living room, and Severus had lined every wall with oak shelves and hundreds of books. She recognised many of the books that he usually kept at Spinner's End and wondered why he had decided to bring them to the castle as they were rare and expensive. His black leather sofa dominated the room, and his usual armchair sat next to the fireplace which was not lit. Three oil lamps were all that lightened the room, one sitting on the small round table next to his armchair, one on the oak coffee table in front of the sofa, and the other hovering in the corner next to two other doors.
The mantlepiece held various instruments to detect hidden magic or intruders, and instead of a mirror, a large foe glass was hung on the wall above them. She frowned as she saw several figures moving around behind her and looked away quickly.
She walked to the window, noting that it felt cold in his rooms, and looked outside. She could just about see the side of the forbidden forest in the moonlight.
"May I?" she asked inquisitively, gesturing to the two other doors.
Severus gave half a shrug, still standing in the shadows by the doorway.
She opened the door to the right, which led straight into his bedroom. The bedroom looked exactly like his old bedroom in the castle. A four poster bed with emerald green sheets stood against the wall opposite her. A small oak chest of drawers lay to the right, an oak wardrobe to the left, and two small bed-side tables framed the pillows. She was glad to see that there were two.
There was another door on the right hand side and she was pleased to find a large en-suite bathroom with a huge bathtub and a walk-in shower.
She went back into the living room and pushed open the only other door she hadn't explored yet and found a very simple kitchen with a small round table with four chairs. There was a small, rectangular window in that room, too.
She want back into the living room and kicked off her high heels, collapsing onto the sofa and pointedly ignoring Severus who still hadn't moved.
"I love it here," she smiled at nothing in particular. "You make it feel so cosy and safe… you're missing a few windows, of course, but I feel at home already. It even smells of you."
Slowly, Severus edged into the room and sat down in his armchair, crossing and uncrossing his legs as though he didn't know how to hold himself.
"What's on your mind?" she asked lightly, giving him the opportunity to talk if he needed to.
Severus gritted his teeth and she knew he would be annoyed at the simplicity of her question, but he took the bait.
"Don't you think them foolish?" he sneered eventually, looking at her with narrowed eyes. "Sitting there drinking wine and chatting about holidays, so sure that the castle will keep them safe from the outside terrors, whilst having no idea that the enemy could come from within, or that the Dark Lord could so easily penetrate this castle if he wanted to."
Serena thought about what he said and sighed. "I don't think them foolish," she said softly. "No one at that table is foolish… I think everyone knows the risks and what is at stake. This year will be so important, not only keeping those kids safe, but battling the growing pull from pureblood families to keep them on our side."
"You can't tell me Burbage isn't foolish," he muttered bitterly.
Serena grimaced. "I actually thought her quite brave."
Severus scoffed, but didn't say anything.
"And Slughorn? Do you know him?"
Severus scowled. "He was Head of Slytherin when I was here as a student."
"I see," she said softly, reading into everything that was hidden behind that sentence. If Slughorn had been Head of Slytherin house, then he hadn't done a very good job of stopping students from crossing over into the Dark Arts. She wondered if Severus had felt betrayed by him or abandoned. "You know, for someone who has had very few role models, you really are obsessed with making yourself the best person you can be."
"What rubbish are you conjuring up now?" he snapped at her impatiently.
She couldn't help but smile. "There is no one who could do a better job than you, this year, Severus. No one… If there is anyone who can put doubts into those children's heads, it's you. And I know that you will have enough on your plate with Malfoy this year, but I will endeavour to help you in any way I can."
He rolled his eyes and scowled again. "Filthy blood traitor."
She beamed. "Exactly."
He turned to her, and she had butterflies in her stomach when she saw the complicit smirk on his lips and softness in his eyes.
"You look beautiful tonight," he said softly and honestly, letting his eyes linger on her face.
She smiled. "Thanks."
"And you should be grateful that Slughorn does not want you for his Slug Club."
Serena snorted. "What is the Slug Club? Some sexual Care of Magical Creatures society?"
Severus pursed his lips in an effort to supress a smile. "The Slug Club is indeed a sort of society that Horace created when he taught here before. A club only for the students with wealthy and renowned connections or with bright and steady futures… A club for the crème de la crème."
She raised her eyebrows at this news. "How very egalitarian for a teacher."
Severus nodded and she knew straight away that he hadn't been picked for the club during his school years.
"Well, silver linings I suppose," she sighed, "although I didn't appreciate being judged on my surname."
"You shouldn't care," he smirked, "It's not your surname."
She laughed, "ah, you're telling me that Snape is better than Lake? This merits a debate."
"Another time perhaps," he said softly. "Come here."
It was a gentle request, and she couldn't resist. She slid off the sofa and padded across the rug to where he was sitting in his armchair. He pulled her gently onto his lap and encircled her with his arms.
"It's been three years," he murmured quietly into her ear. "Three years since you turned my life upside down."
Serena smiled, but couldn't help the pang of fear as she was once again reminded that tomorrow was the first of September and that they could be torn apart any day now. "It's not like you to be all sentimental, are you feeling ok?"
She could feel the smile of his lips against her ear and it soothed her soul. She allowed herself to relax further into his arms, melting against his body as though they were one.
"It felt like waking up," he continued softly, ignoring her teasing comment. "It felt like I had been asleep and under water for so long… and one look at you and I finally breathed oxygen again… And now I've let it fill my lungs I can't go back to how I was before… I can't."
"You won't have to."
"We both know I will," he said in barely a whisper.
"So let's breathe each other in as much as we can until that time comes," she whispered back, turning his face gently towards hers. "Breathe me in," she blew across his lips. "Breathe, Severus."