A Guardian Angel
Chapter 121
Paranoid
(7 Months until tour Ends)
It had been a month since they'd gotten the letter. Each Doctor's appointment Fionna went to, she was increasingly more nervous and worried. She knew she was being paranoid, but she couldn't help it. She would double and triple check the locks, and Ari was always within sight. If she wasn't she was with another adult she trusted.
She knew it was paranoia when her mom wanted to bring all the kids to the park, and her response was to feel pure panic. The park had always been safe. That was what she had to remind her self while her mom walked out with all the girls heading down the street.
She hadn't left the house in almost a month. The only reason she'd gone was because of her doctor's appointments. She hadn't spoken with Simone in nearly a month either. Fionna knew that had to change. The way she was feeling...She knew it wasn't healthy. It was normal to be upset and nervous, yes, but when was this paralyzing paranoia too much?
Her father though was a godsend. He'd talked her through more panic attacks than she'd like to admit, and had already called and arranged an appointment for her. Now She sat watching as Simone placed her jacket on the coat hanger.
"I felt an in person visit would be best considering the things you're currently experiencing Fionna. Tell me how have things been going for you as of late?"
Fionna went on and on about everything. She was doing this alone because Marshall was away, she was a week over due, and was finished being pregnant. She was scared to let her child out of her sight, and terrified that she was officially losing it. Fionna went on for the better part of the session until finally she took breath. Simone took this time to speak.
"I know this may not be the answer you want to hear, but I believe your current hormone fluctuation is in part to blame about this. You have very valid fears based on what happened to you as a child. Right now you're in a vulnerable position in your life. You're a new mother who is currently very pregnant. That in and of itself is stressful enough.
"On top of that, you have the man who abused you released on parole, and your spouse over seas working." Now Simone smiled. "It's not unimaginable to say you're under quite a bit of stress Fionna."
"I guess I am a little stressed." She said with a shrug listening as Simone laughed
"Darling, you're not giving yourself nearly enough credit. I genuinely believe that you'll calm some once you have the baby."
"Oh good, I'll be having her today." Fionna said as she rubbed her belly.
"Oh? Are you scheduled to be induced?"
"Nope, but these are definitely not braxton hicks contractions, they've been steady for the last two hours."
"Are you kidding right now?"
"I'm not much of a kidder, that's Marshall's thing."
"Do you need anything?"
"I'll be fine, they're like ten minutes apart so I'll be okay for a little bit, I've got plenty of time."
"How are you feeling?"
"I feel like if I stop focusing on this I'll probably panic. Simone, I don't know if I can do pregnancy again. I feel like it puts me in a scary kind of head space. Honestly the come down after labor and delivery... Marshall had to do a lot for me last time. I know that I'm not myself, I know that it's the hormones talking-
"Hormones or no your concerns are valid Fionna. These are very valid concerns. Pregnancy is one of the hardest things a woman will ever do. You take your mind, and your body and you wear it away all for the expense of someone else. Someone you love yes, but it does ware on you. It's an exhausting experience."
"It is. There's a lot that worries me but I want to go into this with a calm head. I was so good for the majority of this pregnancy and to be honest, this whole thing has become a complete spiral I've fallen down. I mean, I'm nervous letting mom take Ari because all the other girls are there too, and what if something happens? A lot of really silly, and trivial things are worrying me lately. The last thing I want, is to start believing those little things are big problems."
"What would you say your biggest fear is right now Fionna?"
"Right now my biggest concern is mine and my daughters' safety. I feel like I wouldn't be able to protect her if I had to. I feel extremely vulnerable right now, and sensitive emotions wise. I know I've been over thinking things. I just kind of feel like I'm sliding around, trying to find a hold on something. I can never get a good grip on things, and I know a lot of it's in my head." Fionna said wiping her eye. After a deep breath she continued.
"It's just hard sometimes separating the thoughts from the facts. Because these thoughts bounce around in my head all day basically beating me up, and it's hard not to believe them."
"What kind of thoughts Fionna?"
"That I'm a terrible mother. That I'm a bad partner because I don't take care of Marshall the way he does with me. We show our love very differently. Marshall's a speaker and a doer he does things to show me his love, and it's so easy for him to be vocal. Sometimes especially now with us being so far apart, I feel like I don't express to him how much he means to me, at least not as often as I should. I should say it more, especially in all of this chaos."
"Well, why don't you try to make it an active habit? Make it something you work on actively. Write a journal and monitor your progress. If you want to express your emotions more make it a point to do so. It doesn't have to be just happiness.
"Express to him your happiness yes, but express your nervousness, and fear too. As your spouse he's here to help you with these burdens. In our previous sessions he expressed his interest in doing so. I think I'm going to give you some homework Fionna. I'll give you two weeks, and I'll call you next week to check up on you and let you recover. I want you to unload all of these worries to Marshall. Talk to him about your concerns, and about those negative thoughts you have. I think it would be best to do it sooner rather than later. Unloading your burdens can be overwhelming, but it can also be freeing."
o0o0o
"Okay, so last night's concert was the last we're having. We move to Australia from here. We tour the outback, we hit Canada one last time, and we're home for the end of tour." Marshall said as the bus continued along.
"Just a few more months. I can't wait to go home." Ignitus said as Mo nodded.
"Same, I wanna face plow my bed so bad."
"I wanna hug my mom." Ash said.
"I want to see Fi and my kids."
"Any news on Fionna? Last update she was still an incubator." Mo said, Kate flicking him immediately.
"Could you be any more insensitive Modestus?"
"What? She's like super duper mega pregnant."
"That's besides the point."
"At last check..." Marshall said cutting them both off. "Fionna's still very much pregnant, and yes, she's very uncomfortable. Super mega pregnancy will do that to you." He said sharing a grin with the guys.
"But I haven't heard from her yet today, so I'll check in a little bit. It's still early for her and I want her getting as much rest as she can before the baby comes."
"Any plans if she has the baby in the next day or so?" Ignitus asked quietly, watching as Marshall glanced towards the front of the bus before giving him a brief nod. Traveling to their new locations almost always took three days getting them, their belongings, and the crew to each individual site, and four to five for their first concert depending on how quickly things get set up.
Marshall had already planned it to a T. They needed to fly to Australia, the bus and their belongings would be cargo on a different plane. That gave them an extra day.
He'd already decided that if there was any sign of Fionna having the baby in these three days, it would be the best time to jump ship, catch a flight back to the states and go home. He didn't want to miss the birth of their daughter. He hated the thought of not being there for any of them.
"What's the plan?" Kate asked quietly as they all leaned towards each other.
"If I get any inkling she's in labor I'm catching a different flight. No questions asked, nothing. I'm not even asking Lich, it's better to ask forgiveness than permission I've learned."
"Good thinking because you know he'd give you a hard no."
"Right for real." Marshall said with a sigh. Reaching for his phone he was surprised as it began ringing. He answered it spotting Fionna's name and smiled.
"Hello my gorgeous goddess of baby making perfection."
"Normally that would annoy me, but I actually needed that today, thank you." Fionna said softly on the other line.
"It's no problem, how're you feeling?"
"That's why I called you. I wanna unload some stuff on you before I have this baby." Hearing this Marshall stood making his way to the back of the bus.
"Hit me baby, what's going on?"
"I'm terrified to do this without you. I feel like a horrible partner, and I feel like I need to do more for you-
"You hold up. Fionna you don't have to do a thing for me. I'm a grown adult, and you're home raising our babies. That is what you can do for me. That's what I want you to do right now."
"I know. But you do so much for me and I want to support you the same way you do me and- oh my gosh that hurt."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm almost sure the baby's coming."
"You're sure?"
"Yeah. I'm monitoring the contractions. I woke up with them, they stayed consistent while Simone visited, and I still have them. So I'm putting my money on today or tomorrow. Probably tonight."
"Okay. Talk to me Fi unload, hit me with everything."
"I never tell you how much you mean to me. I never tell you how important you are to me, and I never tell you how much I love you. Marshall you mean the world to me. Outside of the girls you're the person I love most on this planet. I'd have never been okay if it weren't for you, and I'm sorry I'm a terrible fiancée."
"You're not terrible Fionna, you've been hurt, that's what it is. It's scary to open up again after you get hurt, and you've had a lot of hurt that you never should have. I know how hard it is for you to open up, that's why I try not to push you. I know you're trying to push yourself, and it's okay to get overwhelmed. As long we we do it together, we can do anything Baby."
"I know which is why I'm so scared. I know we talked about this, but the reality is really hitting me that you're not here, and that it's just me right now. It's just me, doing his big scary thing by myself..."
They both sat there in the silence. This had been the elephant in the room that they'd avoided discussing.
"Marshall I don't know if I can do it without you. It was so hard last time. I never would have been able to do it without you."
Marshall could hear the worry in her voice. More than anything he wanted to be there. To be there for her, to be there for the birth of their daughter.
While he had a plan, Marshall knew chances were likely he wasn't going to get home in time.
"You've got your parents, and your brothers. You know Marcy will be with you if you wanted her, or Ember-
"I know, but I want you." The ache he felt in his chest hearing this was immense.
"I know. Fionna, I'm sorry."
"I know you Ah owww."
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Mom should be back soon. She took the girls to the park, so Simone and I could have privacy. I'll make cocoa for them so they have something warm to drink." Fionna said softly.
Marshall could hear the sounds of her bustling around the kitchen, and debated whether or not he should tell her he was planning on coming.
On one hand he was more than determined to be there for the birth of his daughter. But on the other hand he knew Lich was going to flip, and that he knew would worry Fionna. Lich going off though was trivial to him. Lich could rant and rave as much as he wanted, nothing on earth or in heaven would be able to get him onto that plane.
He was going home.
0o0
Marshall walked into the airport with the band watching as the area lit up with the flash of cameras from the paparazzi. This he knew was going to be hard. He needed to be seen and gone all at once. The fact that he currently had his hood covering his face helped, but the gloves hurt, they were something people were starting to recognize. They walked to the booth grabbing their tickets and went to the departure area to check in.
This Marshall decided was going to be the best time to split off. Patting Ignitus' shoulder, he passed him his backpack. Slipping into the bathroom Marshall watched as the crowd of people continued on, finally dissipating. Carefully he made his way back to check in.
"Could you tell me when the next flight to the states is?" The woman typed on her computer.
"The next flight out just started boarding, the next after that would be tomorrow."
"I need today's. Book the flight please."
"It'll be over two thousand dollars, the only seats available are in first class."
"Do it, moneys no problem." Marshall said passing her his card. He watched as she processed the payment, and after some quick direction he was running towards the terminal. He needed to make it in time, he had to. His entire plan depended solely on him making this random flight. All he had on him was his passport, the ticket, and his wallet.
Marshall could see the terminal on the other side of the powered walkways and took a running jump over the barriers. He stumbled righting himself making his way to the departure gate where a man was starting to put up the rope barrier.
"Hold up!" He called sliding to a stop offering the man his ticket as he panted for breath.
"You're cutting it pretty close."
"Please, my girl's having a baby, I need to go home."
The man scanned his ticket and after stamping his passport waved him on. Marshall felt only relief as he made his way onto the plane. Reaching for his phone Marshall began patting his pockets down and swore, he'd left it in his bag. This he knew was going to be a long flight. He only wished he'd thought to be sure he'd had his phone first. He looked over spotting another passenger in first class with him.
"Hey, any chance I could borrow your phone for two quick calls? I want to let my buddy know I made my flight, and I want to let my girl know I'm coming home, she's having a baby."
Marshall watched the flurry of emotions on the man's face but was eventually was handed the phone.
"Quickly please?"
"Absolutely." Dialing Ignitus' number he listened as it rang twice before picking up.
"Yo."
"Ig-
"We're on the tarmac I really hope you caught that flight dude because Lich is pissed."
"I did, with not even a second to spare. You have my phone, it's in my bag so I can't check in. I'll reach out when I'm home. I've gotta go now though, travel safe man."
"You too Marsh, hug Girlie for us."
"I will, Later Ig." Marshall hung up the phone quickly dialing Fionna's number feeling as the plane began moving. It rang to voicemail twice, but on the third time she answered the phone sounding in more pain than he'd heard previously.
"WHAT!?"
"Fionna it's me, baby I caught the first flight home and I'm coming, okay?"
"You're what?"
"I'm on the way home. You focus on your breathing okay? We're gonna have ourselves a baby when I get back." Marshall said smiling.
"I love you so much Marshall."
"And I love you so much more. I'm borrowing this gentleman's phone so I'll have to let you go before we take off, but I'm coming home Fionna. I'm on the way right now. I have to let you go though okay? Is your mom back yet?"
"No."
"If she's not back in the next ten minutes I want you to call Finn so someone other than me knows something's going on with you right now, okay?"
"Okay. I love you and I'll see you soon."
"I'll see you soon Love." It took everything in him to hang up the phone. Now he handed it back to the man.
"Thank you."
"Not a problem, is it your first?"
"This will be our second. I've missed this entire pregnancy because of work."
"Playing hookie now?"
"Actually yeah. I got word on the way to the airport that my fiancée is in labor so I changed my flight."
"You're a good man, I know a fair few who missed their children's births. It's not something I would ever want to do."
"Well I'm hoping not to miss it."
"I wish you luck, this is a sixteen hour flight." Sitting in his seat Marshall leaned the chair back closing his eyes. He was going to make it in time. He was going to make it in time...right?
o0o0o
Finn watched as Ember walked into the kitchen carrying a box. He was quick to lift it from her arms and smiled as she leaned forward kissing him.
Today was moving day, and after viewing the house and a conversation about it, Finn and Ember decided to make an offer. To their surprise it was accepted quickly, and in the span of one short month they received the keys to their new home.
The only thing Finn cared about was having Ember be happy. She wanted this house and she didn't feel safe at the apartment anymore, so moving was the most logical choice. Having Ignitus and Marcy as neighbors was a bonus. What he liked was how the two back yards were touching. The fence that separated them he knew wouldn't last long. Already Ember and Marceline had been talking about making an adjoining attachment that would connect the two houses. Finn knew that was something he, Jake, and his dad could bust out in a few days.
"That was the last of it. The truck's officially empty." Ember said unable to hold back her smile.
"We really did not have much."
"Right? I thought we'd have more stuff than this." She said looking around at the box filled kitchen.
"All this means is that we can get more stuff." Finn said with a grin as he pulled Ember close.
"We're officially home owners." He said in a low voice watching as Ember smirked, dramatically fanning her face.
"Hit me with those sexy words."
"Mortgage payments, and property taxes." Finn said with a grin.
"Finn, you really know how to wind a girl up."
"You're telling me, I'm a regular Casanova." Hearing this Ember laughed.
"You're too silly."
"Do you want to take a break and go to my parents for a bit? Mom's probably making lunch for the kids, and if we're lucky she'll feed us too." Finn said leading the way to his parents house. It was a quick walk, all they had to do was cut through Marcy and Ig's back yard and go across the street.
Stopping in the middle of the road he paused waiting for Ember to catch up. From where he was he could see the park all the way at the end of the street, and smiled spotting his mom and nieces.
"Well there go your chances for lunch."
"Hey I have a sister who lives at home too."
"A very pregnant sister. If anything you should be making her lunch Finn." Ember said shaking her head watching as Finn walked right into the house.
"Fio! You home?"
"Finn, I'm in the kitchen." At the sound of her voice He and Ember shared a look before walking down the hall. Fionna was leaning against the island breathing harshly.
"You okay?" Ember asked how resting a hand on her shoulder.
"Labor started, that was just a really bad contraction." Fionna said pushing herself upright, wiping the sweat from her forehead. She let out a shaking breath.
"I'm good." She said giving them a smile. "Mom and the girls have been out for like two hours now so I've just been hanging out. I thought I'd make them cocoa, because it's chilly out ya know?"
"Fionna do you want to sit? I can finish the cocoa and start lunch for the girls?" Ember asked coaxing Fionna away from the kitchen Island and handing her off to Finn who walked her downstairs to the family room.
"How close are your contractions?"
"Still about ten minutes apart, they're getting stronger and longer though. I was planning on heading to the hospital when they were closer to five minutes." Fionna said sitting on the couch, Finn helping her down.
"Do you want anything? Food? Drink?"
"No, thank you though."
"Whose here?"
"It's me, ma, and the three girls. Lady had the boys' check up today."
"Yup, and Junior's in school. Alright, that's no problem I'll whip us up eight grilled cheese sandwiches in no time." Finn said walking from the room.
Fionna had been watching the TV lost in the nature documentary when the sound of the house phone ringing snagged her attention. Pushing herself up Fionna walked to the phone only for it to be answered by someone else. She honestly wondered why she'd gotten up. Feeling another contraction Fionna sat on the steps and focused on her breathing. To her surprise though Fionna felt a nudge into her side, and looking over she smiled spotting Cake.
"Hi my beautiful girl." Fionna said rubbing behind her ears. "Where've you been hiding huh? I swear you only come out for breakfast and dinner now." Giving Cake another pet Fionna pushed herself up and continued climbing the stairs.
"Oh my god, Dad calm down. She started labor she's not giving birth." Finn's voice said coming from the kitchen. "This is gonna be your seventh grandkid, you should know how this goes by now. She'll stay home until the contractions are back to back, then head to the hospital. All will be well. Here Emma bring that to Fi."
Fionna pushed the door open meeting Ember at the top of the stairs.
"I'm coming up."
"Fionna you should be resting." Ember said stepping aside so Fionna could step up to the landing.
"I can't. I have this weird energy and I just need to move. I'm gonna go upstairs and clean the room." She said walking towards the stairs, Ember following behind with the sandwich.
They entered the room and Ember watched as Fionna pulled a box from the closet.
"Is that the crib?"
"It's a bassinet, but yeah. I put it together earlier, but Ari kept trying to climb in so I had to put it back in the box. The plus side is that I've got the assembly down to a science now, so I can pop it together in just a few minutes." She said pausing with her hand on her belly.
"You okay?" Ember asked cautiously.
"Yup." Now Fionna bent over "I'm okay."
"Are you doing your breathing exercises? Should there be a breathing thing right now?"
"Yes, there should." Fionna said tightly as she now began breathing though the pain.
Ember winced with each pained sound Fionna made.
"Oh honey are you okay?"
"I won't lie that one really hurt ." Her voice was still tight.
Ember coaxed her on to the vanity bench and began putting the bassinet together. It was easy to figure out, and by the time she'd finished Fionna was taking choppy panting breaths.
"Thank you."
"Of course. Is there anything else you need?"
"I put the hospital bag together last- last week." Fionna said pointing to a diaper bag hanging on the back of the door. She watched as Ember walked over grabbing it.
"Is there anything else you'll need? Do you have a plan?"
"I'm going to take a shower, then I'm going to get dressed. When mom gets back I'll head to the hospital."
"Do you want me to call Marshall?"
"He knows." Again Fionna pushed herself to her feet, though now she began going through her dresser pulling out clothes.
Ember watched as she gathered her things and grabbed a towel walking her to the bathroom.
"I'll call if I need help okay?" Fionna asked watching as Ember nodded. Closing the door behind her she turned the hot water on quickly undressing. Pulling her hair up she stepped in. The hot water was magical on her aching back. Focusing on her breathing Fionna blocked everything out.
'I can do this... I can do this.'
Feeling another contraction start Fionna clenched her eyes shut again, focusing on breathing through it. This felt nothing like the last time, and for that, Fionna was grateful. This hurt but it felt like a normal hurt, well as normal as it could get.
The water had begun to cool, and turning Fionna gave herself a quick wash and rinse before stepping out. Her focus had been relieving that dull ache in her back. The shower had been wonderful for that.
Grabbing her towel Fionna dried herself, pausing to look at her reflection. She rubbed her hand along her belly.
"Today's the day baby girl. I can't wait to meet you." Fionna dressed, making her way down the stairs. She could hear everyone in the kitchen, and the sound of clattering plates.
"Mama Mama! Eat!" Her attention was snagged immediately by Ari in her highchair who offered her a bite of her grilled cheese.
Humoring her, Fionna took a bite. Ari doing the same before telling Fionna all about her time at the park.
As she watched Ari talk, she couldn't help but smile. While their daughter was all her in looks, Aria was Marshall through and through with her mannerisms. She talked with her hands just like he did, rocked on her feet like he did. They even made the same "I'm hiding something" face. It was how she picked up on so many situations before they turned sour. Seeing Marshall here, even in their daughter, warmed her immensely.
That feeling of warmth quickly dissipated though, as another contraction started. The pain made her knees weak. Honestly Fionna thought she'd handled it well, but when she looked up, she realized everyone was staring at her.
"Fionna are you okay?"
"Yeah they're just getting longer. I think I'm ready to go to the hospital now. I mean I can totally wait till after lunch but I'm definitely going today."
"If you're ready sweetie let's go. Finn, Ember, can you two stay with the kids until Lady comes to get them?"
"No, I was just planning on letting them fend for themselves in the wilds of the suburbs." Finn said with a grin, Fionna laughing.
Ignoring him Ellen accepted the hospital bag from Ember, and walked out to the car.
Fionna though was kissing Ari's cheeks hugging her tightly as she did.
"Mommy's going to the doctor. We're gonna bring home your baby sister okay?" She said watching as Ari nodded happily. She was far more interested in playing with her cousins than what her mother was saying. One last kiss and an 'I love you' and she was heading for the door.
"Everything's gonna be okay Fio." Finn said softly, his hand on her shoulder.
"I know it will be." She said looking over at him placing her hand on his and giving him a smile. Now though she looked over to Ember.
"I wasn't kidding when I said you get the next kid, come Godparent privileges. That's if you still want it."
"Damn right I do. Whose Godfather?" She asked watching as Fionna smiled.
"Iggy."
"Awwww he's gonna love that. Does he even know?"
"Not as far as I'm aware, but Marshall could have told him."
"Nah, if Marsh had, Iggy'd have messaged me bragging by now." Ember said with a laugh.
"But seriously Fionna, it's a yes, we'll be there as soon as we can okay?"
"Thank you. I love you guys." After a hug they walked Fionna to the car, watching as she and Ellen drove off.
o0o0o
This was so nice. First class flying, meals on request, noise reducing headphones to block out Lich's ranting about Marshall vanishing. This was the life.
Ignitus couldn't help but grin as he watched Lich pace past him for the umpteenth time during the flight. There was nothing that could be done now, and he'd have the better part of thirteen hours to calm down. By that time hopefully, Marshall would be with Fionna and the baby. They'd seen four in flight movies and had already reached the half way point of the trip.
Ignitus' carry on was in Marshall's seat along with his bag. From where he was sitting he could hear the now constant pinging coming from Marshall's bag. Leaning over he grabbed it, fishing out the phone. Checking it, he found multiple missed calls and texts from Hannah, Ellen, and Finn, all with updates on Fionna.
He grabbed Marshall's phone intending to reply to the texts, a stewardess though walked over asking him to power down the phone, watching as he did so. Seeing the last text, he felt concern grow. Something had gone wrong.
o0o0o
"Okay hunny, I'm gonna have you focus on your breathing okay? The doctor doesn't want you walking right now." The nurse said as Fionna sat back on the bed. She'd been walking the halls for barely an hour, and as the seconds slipped by, she felt the pain increase. Because she'd been in the early stages of labor she figured walking would be the way to go. The doctor though was in moments later.
"So sorry I was running late. Okay Fionna, because of your last few visits with the baby having been breech I'll be checking her positioning." He said as he began pressing on her stomach feeling for the baby's position. A quick conversation with the nurse and she returned with the ultrasound machine.
"That was what I was worried about." He said after a quick look.
"The baby has in fact flipped back up." He said now reaching for the monitor and strapping it to her stomach.
"A breech delivery done vaginally is something that can be done. However it is a much more difficult birthing process. I will not lie to you, the challenges of a breech birth can be fatal to both you and your child."
"We're going to start monitoring the fetal heartrate. The risks with delivering breech include the baby getting stuck, or running the risk of a prolapsed umbilical cord. With a cord prolapse, if the umbilical cord becomes pinched or has too much pressure put on it, it can decrease and potentially cut off the flow of blood and oxygen to the baby."
"This can lead to major complications including physical and mental impairments, and death." He said now wiping her stomach clean of the ultrasound gel.
"What I'm going to do is have the OR prepare for an emergency C-section. If the baby's heart rate drops drastically for any reason, or if either of you show signs of distress we'll bring you right in to get her out. What concerns me most is the risk of a cord prolapse because we won't know it's happening until it's having a negative insect on her. I would like to know your thoughts so we can make an informed decision on how you'd like to proceed."
"Do I need a C-section?"
"I would heavily recommend it, yes. If the baby becomes distressed or the cord gets pinched, it will at that point be a medical emergency which can escalate quickly."
"Will I still be able to get an epidural?"
"For the surgery you would be numbed from the waist down completely. We can give you an epidural for the pain now. Just know that if you do choose to try and birth her, that using an epidural increases the chances of a C-section during a natural breech delivery. I'm normally an advocate of natural delivery, however you must take into account that the chances of your baby getting stuck increases the larger she develops. You did keep her an extra week and a half. That's something to take into consideration. This definitely increases your risk during this delivery." He said now taking a step back.
"Any other questions Fionna?"
"Not right now."
"I'll give you some time to think and weigh out the risks. If you need me please don't hesitate to call." Now he walked from the room leaving Fionna with her mom and Hannah.
"What do you think?" Fionna asked looking over to Ellen and Hannah, both who looked nervous themselves.
"I think that maybe you should do the C-section. We know a few important things right now. The baby can be put at risk, and you can be put at risk. We don't want either of those things. There's the concern he has over her size, and he did say he was worried about a cord prolapse. I think the Caesarian would be best." Ellen said gently.
"But I don't want them to cut me open, what if something happens?" Ellen could see the worry in her eyes.
"What do you want to do Fionna?"
"Whatever's less dangerous for me and the baby." She said, her voice trembling with nerves.
"Fionna, sweetie I know you're scared. But right now the safest decision for the both of you would be the C-section." Hannah said sitting on the edge of the bed and taking her hand.
"I know it's a major surgery, but it'll be okay. I trust your doctor. Obviously you and Marshie do as well or you wouldn't have gone back to him. He took great care of you with Ari, and I'd trust him now."
Fionna opened her mouth to speak but stopped gasping as another contraction started.
"She's coming one way or another Fionna." Ellen said softly watching as her daughter breathed through the harsh pain.
"I knowww ow ow ow ow owww." Fionna said looking up at the ceiling.
'This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to happen like this...but I don't have a choice now. I have to do this. I have to.'
o0o0o
It had been more than comical to see Lich race through the plane until the staff had threatened to remove him from it. He'd even had one of the members of security get off the plane to see if they could find Marshall. Not only had he been unsuccessful, but he hadn't been allowed to reboard the flight. To say Lich was furious was the understatement of the century.
Mei though had taken his ten hours of rages in stride. She was no fool, and she knew when he sat down to think about it, it would become apparent on where Marshall had gone. Obviously when one who has a heavily pregnant spouse towards the end of her pregnancy, vanishes, chances are they're having the baby. That Mei assumed was what happened.
Marshall had become smoke in the wind. None of the other band members looked worried. Fionna was more than nine months along. The dots were easy to connect.
Unlocking her tablet she logged into the instant messenger pulling up Lucas' name and sending him a quick message.
Memow: Alright, time to play a guessing game. Lich is pissed, Marshall vanished, and Fionna's over due. Where'd the missing person go?
LucaSPierce: OMG is she having the baby!?
Memow: That's my best guess. Does Lich even know Fionna's pregnant? They sent her home because she'd been spiraling and attacked a guy right?
LucaSPierce: IDK but not nice verbiage. But in a nutshell yes. Being separated from her child was too much for her to take. Especially after her loss and with what happened.
LucaSPierce: I can't say I blame her. I'd have hit someone too.
Memow: You're lucky you got the later flight. This is an absolute shit show.
Feeling a presence before her, Mei glanced up spotting Lich standing in front of her.
Memow: BRB
Mei pulled her headphones from her ears looking up at Lich.
"Where the hell is he?" He hissed leaning low.
"If I wasn't on an airplane I'd be able to answer that question for you." She said simply watching the simmering rage become a full boil at her words.
"Mei I know you know something about this." He growled, his voice low.
"I know common sense and logic. Both of which don't seem to be so common around here." She snapped. "Don't you think a man separated from his family for almost a year wouldn't want to take a chance to see them? Who wouldn't miss their spouse and kid? What is with you lately? No offense but you've been wildly off your game these last few months."
"Business is business is business." He said now walking back to his own seat.
LucaSPierce: Coolio.
Memow: I'm back and Lich is losing it. That weirdo really had to ask me where Marshall was, like I fit him with a GPS tracker or something.
LucaSPierce: I'm sure that's not out of the realm of possibility for you.
Memow: It really is. How on earth would I be able to chip Marshall?
LucaSPierce: Tranq dart to the butt? But something tells me Fionna wouldn't approve.
Memow: Nah probably not. Looks like we're getting ready to land for our first layover though so I'll bug you later.
LucaSPierce: Later gator.
Mei powered down her tablet sliding it into her bag, and folded up her headphones. From her spot in the back of first class Mei could see the three remaining members of the band in their chairs. The flight aside from the beginning had been uneventful. Ten hours of restlessness, finally though that was coming to an end. They would get an hour and a half before they finished the trip to Australia
o0o0o
She was scared, words didn't describe the fear she felt. Yes, she was looking forward to meeting her daughter, but Fionna never imagined they'd have to cut her open. It was a decision she'd been willing to make, yes. But time had run out, and the decision had been made for her.
Fionna had been waiting for her mom and Hannah to come back. Her dad had already arrived and was in the room with her when the alarms on her monitor began going off.
Her nurse entered quickly, and after checking the monitors called the doctor to the room. He checked the monitors, and from the look on his face she knew it wasn't going to be good news.
"Fionna, I'm sorry but the baby's heart rate is dropping. Right now she's in distress. We no longer have a choice. We need to get her out now."
"Okay." Her voice was shaking, and her heart was hammering away in her chest.
Two more nurses entered the room, her bed was unlocked and they began moving her.
"I want my Dad with me!" Fionna said frantically as they began bustling around her, prepping her for the surgery.
They rolled into pre-op just long enough for her stomach to be washed, and her hair pulled up and a hair cap out on. Then they moved into the operating room.
Fionna's heart was racing as she searched the room for her father. The room was filled with people, and none of them were distinguishable. Everyone was dressed in blue scrubs, with masks, gloves, and hair covers.
A sheet was hooked up blocking off the view of everything below her chest. Immediately Fionna felt her eyes begin to burn. She quickly blinked the tears away trying to focus on her breathing. She felt the warmth of the new medication added to her IV as she took shallow panicked breaths.
The nurses moved about the room, and the doctor announced that he was ready to begin.
Again Fionna tried, this time failing in blinking away her tears. Suddenly a hand took hers squeezing it tightly.
"Hey, I'm here. Don't you worry Fionna I'm right here." The relief she felt recognizing her father among these strangers was immense.
"Dad I'm scared, I'm really scared." Fionna said bursting into tears clenching Steve's hand tightly in hers. She could feel everything. It felt as if her skin was being unzipped. She could feel the tugging sensations as the doctor worked.
"I know you are Sweetheart, but it's going to be okay. They're nearly half way done."
"It feels freaky, I can feel everything and I don't like it." Fionna said cringing.
"Look at me." He said gently. "It's almost over, and you're doing a great job. You're doing such a good job. I'm so proud of you." Steve said squeezing her hand. He turned to one of the nurses asking something Fionna couldn't catch.
Again she felt a wave of medication, the tugging sensations lessening. Everything felt hazy, and she could hear the nurses moving around now. Her father was talking to her excitedly, but his voice was a faded echo in her ears. Fionna closed her eyes, everything felt so weird.
Feeling as something warm was placed on her chest, Fionna opened her eyes. She was met with a tiny pink face and so much dark hair.
She looked just like Marshall.
Fionna didn't try to stop the tears, she couldn't, she just stared in awe. Their baby was so beautiful.
The nurse moved her higher up her chest. The baby's head was nestled on her breast. She was close enough for Fionna to cover her in kisses, and that's exactly what she did. Reaching her arm up she rested her hand on her back. She could feel her dad's hand on her head, and looking up at him she smiled.
"She's so beautiful. Dad look at her."
"I see her, and she is beautiful. You did such a good job Fionna." Steve said kissing first her forehead, then the baby's.
"Do you want me to take a picture of you guys for Marshall?"
"Can you?"
"Absolutely."
Fionna went back to cuddling the baby while her dad took pictures of them.
She was here, and she was safe, and they were both okay...But why was she feeling so wrong? This felt scary, more so than anything else had.
"Fionna, are you okay?" Steve asked looking at her in concern.
"Take her."
Fionna barely had time to pull his hand onto her daughters back before the alarms on the machine began going off. The haziness quickly turned to darkness and everything faded away.
"You're okay Kiddo, I've got you."
o0o0o
Marshall drove from the airport. It had been eighteen hours, and he was at least another twenty minutes from the hospital.
This time without his phone in forced solitude had given him a lot of time to think. To think about his family, his career, their lives, and the mess the band found itself in. Mostly he found himself thinking about Fionna.
She'd gone through this whole pregnancy alone after losing their last baby. That he knew had been immensely stressful for her. She'd handled everything like a champion, but there were days where she'd struggled.
Fionna had been so scared when this pregnancy reached the tenth week. The same time they'd lost their last pregnancy. She'd also called him devastated on what would have been the due date for their lost child as well. She was heartbroken over the child they'd lost, and simultaneously felt guilty for being pregnant again with this baby, when she should have been having the other one.
Marshall pulled himself from his thoughts as he pulled into the parking lot, heading inside. His family was somewhere in this building.
He stopped in the gift shop buying a bouquet of red and pink roses before making his way towards the directory desk. A quick conversation later and he was on his way up to the maternity ward. This he knew meant he'd missed the birth. As much as he hated himself for missing it, Marshall knew that the important thing was that he was here now.
He took the elevator to the fourth floor and followed the signs, buzzing the security doors to be allowed in. He talked to the nurses station and was given Fionna's room number.
The walk down the hall was quick, and outside the door he spotted Finn sitting in a chair in the hall.
"Finn, how are they?" Marshall asked with a grin. Finn looked up at him making a peculiar face that Marshall decided he very much didn't like.
"Holy shit, you don't know about any of it do you?" He asked now standing and pushing Marshall into his chair.
"Any of what?"
"Fionna and the baby are okay now. That's important to lead with. Fionna needed an emergency C-section because the baby was in distress. When they took the baby out, Fionna had a uterine rupture and hemorrhaged. It wasn't enough to need a transfusion, they handled it quickly, but she's been really out of it. The baby was brought to the NICU to clear her lungs and to check her out. We can visit but they want to keep her there for a bit before she can stay in with Fionna."
"Did she go through all that by herself?" Marshall asked in a tight voice. She'd been terrified to do this without him, and then had to go through this.
"No, Dad was with her the whole time." Finn said, his hand squeezing his shoulder.
"They just moved her here an hour or so ago. It's our parents in there right now. You just missed Em, she'll be back soon though."
"Thank you for letting me know." He said pushing himself up from the chair. Finn nodded as Marshall entered the room.
Fionna he could see was asleep on the bed. Their parents were talking quietly in one corner of the room, and hadn't noticed him as he entered.
Walking over he placed the flowers on the bed side table, and leaning down he kissed her forehead.
"Marshall! What are you doing here?" Hannah asked making her way over to hug her son.
"Fionna called me after her appointment with Simone. We were already in the airport to head to Australia, so I skipped out on my flight, and caught the next one home. I forgot my phone in my backpack, and that's with Ig." Hearing this Hannah nodded.
"That makes sense now, the radio silence. We've been trying to get a hold of you for hours. Fionna had a really tough delivery Marshall. The baby's heart rate dropped so they had to give her an emergency C-section."
"Finn just told me in the hall. About the baby being in distress and the rupture and the hemorrhage."
"She's been sleeping mostly. Let's go to the nurses station to register you. You can sign the birth certificate, and then we can go see the baby." Hannah said with a smile.
Marshall nodded and after another kiss to Fionna, walked with his mother from the room. They chatted with the nurses at the station and after verifying his information, he signed the birth certificate and was given a wristband.
The nurse walked them through another set of security doors, and into the NICU. They stopped at the desk to check in, and Marshall was led over to an incubator.
The moment he lay eyes on his child, he was overwhelmed with emotion. She looked just like him. In Aria there had been so much of Fionna, but this child was his spitting image.
"Can I hold her?" He asked watching as the nurse smiled and nodded motioning him towards the sink to wash up. Marshall quickly did, and lifted his daughter from the nurses arms.
"Look at you." He said softly brushing his finger on her cheek. Marshall watched her eyes blink open as she squinted at him.
"Hi baby girl. What's your name? Did Mommy name you yet?" he asked looking at the pink card on her incubator. It read simply 'Baby Girl Abadeer'.
"What are we gonna call you?" He asked sitting down in the arm chair, the baby nestled in his arms. Marshall sat there staring at her. Tufts of dark hair stuck out from under the pink hat on her head. Gently he pulled the hat off and was amazed by the amount of hair. Already he knew there was enough to put it into little pigtails.
Now he held her close allowing her to nestle into the crook of his neck. Marshall knew by the way she mouthed against his skin that she was hungry, and flagged down a nurse. She was quick to bring him a bottle which the baby eagerly took.
Marshall knew how small her stomach was. Once she was fed, he burped her, patting her to sleep on his chest.
"How long do we have you?" Hannah asked resting a hand on the back on Marshall's neck.
"Today and tomorrow. The day after I go and fly into Sydney."
"Do you want to see Ari? Fair warning, she'll be beyond upset when you leave again. You were as a kid."
"I know. But I was also so happy I got my dad back, even though it was just for a little bit of time. I just hope she's old enough to understand." He said softly. "Do you want to hold her Ma?"
"Of course! Gimme." Hannah took the baby in her arms, fussing at her.
"My goodness Marshall she's just gorgeous." Hannah gushed.
"She's got so much hair."
"With how often Fionna complained about heartburn that's no surprise." She said her fingers trailing along the dark stands.
"She never told me that. Honestly there's a lot she didn't tell me about because she didn't want me to be upset about missing it. That or worry." Marshall said softly accepting his daughter back.
"I wish she hadn't been so afraid. I wish she'd have asked me, rather than keeping it to herself and worrying. But the past is the past." He said giving the baby another kiss before placing her back in the incubator.
Hannah stayed with the baby while Marshall talked to the nurse, giving permission for his mom to stay. He wanted to see Fionna.
More specifically he wanted to be the first thing she saw when she woke up.
0o0
Fionna could feel the gentle touch on her cheek, and the kisses. Kisses on her hands, kisses on her cheeks, kisses on her temple, and forehead kisses. Opening her eyes it took her a moment to focus. Once she did, Fionna smiled reaching for him.
Marshall leaned down holding her tightly kissing everywhere he could reach.
"I missed you so much. Fionna I'm so glad you're okay." He said blinking away his tears. "I'm so glad you're okay."
Fionna closed her eyes wrapping her arms tightly around Marshall. Just having him here, having him hold her, his smell, his warmth, the beating of his heart...It was like coming home.
"Marshall I'm so happy you're here." Fionna whispered nuzzling her face into his neck.
"I may or may not have dipped out at the airport. But I'm here for the next two days. After that I'll be racing to a show. If I miss it, Mo can cover me. I already know I'll never hear the end of it from Lich, but I just plain don't care. All I care about is being here with you while I can be." Marshall said kissing her again.
o0o0o
"So how's everything going with Marsh, Fi, and the baby?" Ignitus said tossing his and Marshall's bags onto the desk kicking the hotel room door shut.
"Last check in they were settled into the hospital room. It was nice to see Marshall. Honestly I teared up a little bit watching them. I can only imagine the feeling of looking at your new child like that."
"Holy crap Emma, you're going soft."
"Yeah, maybe I am." She said bringing a box into the bedroom.
"Em, do you have the baby rabies?" He asked flopping onto the bed.
"Kind of. Probably...Yes... I'd just been thinking about it a lot, and then everything happened with Papa. Ig, what if I'd had a child or I was pregnant? These are things I want and Papa just... It was just a complete disregard to all of our safety."
"I reach out but I never hear back from him." Ignitus said listening as Ember scoffed. "He's avoiding me."
"He and Dad are practically the same person, that doesn't surprise me. But enough about him. How are you? Everything Okay?"
"Yeah Em, I'm good. I've been keeping myself on the straight and narrow. No more bud or cigarettes. Nothing like that. Also I'll have a two drink limit when I do drink again."
"I'm glad you're doing what you have to do to keep things in line.
"Marshall was right. I had to make a choice, and this is my choice. This is the life I want. I want to be here with everyone. I can't do that if I'm not present."
"That's really mature of you Ig."
"Were you not paying attention? That was mature of Marshall not me. I'm just lucky to have smart friends." He said with a laugh.
"True, but it's something you're choosing to address and work on. It says a lot about your character Iggy. I'm proud of you. Genuinely."
"Thanks Em, that means a lot."
"Well don't get used to me being nice, its not gonna be an every day thing."
"Of course not, can't let anyone think you're one of the women folk Emma."
"Please never say any of that sentence ever again Ignitus."
"I promise I won't. I miss you Em."
"I miss you too." Ember said softly as she continued unboxing her belongings. "Have you seen the baby yet? Or talk to Marshall or Fionna?"
"Nah, I have Marshall's phone. I figure they'll reach out when they're ready."
"Oh she's beautiful Iggy, and I know who the God parents are." Ember said teasingly, a smile in her voice.
"You should never play poker Em. Congratulations." He said with a grin.
"Why do you sound so bummed? I'm not the only Godparent here."
"Wait, what?"
"Hello? We're obviously a team. But sorry to spoil the surprise. You're her Godfather. At least that's what Fionna told me yesterday."
"Really?" He asked feeling touched at the thought.
"Why would I lie?"
"Well I know you wouldn't." He said softly.
"Did you think because of your slip it was something Marshall and Fionna were going to change their mind about?"
"Honestly yeah, the thought did cross my mind. Sometimes I feel like my mistakes should disqualify me from having good things like this. Like people who love me. If Fi and Marsh tell me I'm the Godfather it'll be a gift, and it won't be something I take for granted."
"I know it wouldn't. Oh, I think Finn's home." Ignitus could hear the sound of the blinds as Ember peeked through the window.
"Yup, Finn just pulled in. I'll let you go Iggy, we can talk later okay?"
"Okiedoke. Love you Em."
After saying their good byes, Ignitus ended the call. Thinking on it for a moment he decided to video chat Fionna's phone.
0o0
Marshall answered a few rings in and with a grin they caught up.
Ignitus filled Marshall in on Lich and what was going on where they were, and Marshall filled Ignitus in on Fionna and the emergency delivery.
Marshall had been feeding the baby, the pair of them sitting in silence while she ate.
"You know you're her Godfather right?" Marshall asked.
"You're absolutely sure?" He felt so overwhelmed with emotion. He actually WAS redeemable.
"There's no question. You're my best friend, you're an important person in my life. I know you Ig."
"Thanks Marsh, this means a lot to me. It really does."
"I know it does man. I do want to let you go though. I've only got so much time here, and I want to spend as much of it with them as I can."
"I can respect that, I've gotta video chat Marcy anyways. We'll talk when you get back. Later Marsh."
"Bye Ig." The screen went dark and Marshall smiled placing the phone aside.
"He sounded really happy." Fionna said softly, resting her hand on his arm. Marshall nodded.
"He did. How're you feeling?" Marshall asked watching as a nurse walked in.
"A little sore. This medicine button though. Pure magic."
"Sorry to interrupt, but it's time to change your dressings, and for your uterine massage."
The nurse pulled her blanket down, and began massaging her lower pelvis area, Fionna wincing as she did. This Marshall remembered from last time. Once she was finished she focused on the bandage replacing it with small sticky bandages.
"These are okay to get wet, so once I'm done you can jump in the shower if you want. Don't scrub your incision, just let the soapy water wash over it. IF you feel any kind of pulling sensation when you try and sit up or stand just put some pressure on your incision and hold it while you move, it can help. I'm also going to be removing your catheter as well." She said quickly taking care of the tasks at hand.
After double checking her incision, her IV's, and her vitals and finding everything normal, her nurse wrapped up and walked from the room. She returned with towels and bathing supplies for her incision.
"The NICU doctor wants to do one last check-up on little miss before he clears her to stay overnight in your room. He should be in shortly."
They barely had time to thank her when another knock came to the door and a doctor walked in. His visit was brief, and after checking the baby and giving her the all okay, the baby was allowed to stay.
Marshall was holding her again, and lowering the arm of the bed he climbed in as best as he could.
Resting her head on his shoulder Fionna smiled feeling as he kissed the top of her head.
"What do you think we should name her?" He asked holding their daughter so they could both look at her.
"Melody. Our beautiful Melody."
"You're right from last time." Marshall said with a grin. "This name does suit a dark haired mini me. I think her name is perfect."
o0o0o
The days flew by faster than Marshall imagined they ever would, and the time he got to spend with his family had been a gift. Fionna was being discharged later today, after his departing flight, so Marshall knew there'd be no one to see him off this time. He had made it a point to bring her things home for her so he could say his goodbyes to Ari at Fionna's parents house. He knew she was going to be devastated, and he was even more so to find that she was napping when he'd arrived. He'd given Ellen a hug, thanked Steve over, and over, for being in the OR with Fionna, and made his way into the living room.
Ari slept soundly on the couch, and again just seeing how big she'd gotten made him tear up. Time wasn't stopping, if anything it seemed to be speeding up. Leaning down he scooped her into his arms kissing his daughter's head.
"I love you Mammas, I promise I'll come home soon." He whispered giving her one last kiss before tucking her back in the blankets, walking from the room.
They all had spent yesterday for the most part at the hospital, but Marshall had spent the next evening here with Ari. She'd been over the moon to see him, and to have him his morning. He hadn't wanted to leave her while she slept. It felt so deceptive, like he was running from her.
He stopped in to say good bye to Fionna and Melody before catching his flight out. Both looked as happy and healthy as they could, and with one last good bye to the pair of them, he headed for the airport hating every second of the drive.
He checked in, boarded his flight and gazed out the window. This time tomorrow he would be back on the road heading to their next concert. The more he thought about it, the more Marshall hated himself for leaving.
Enjoy the Chapter!
H09
XOXO