"So you've got this British gardener dude," Natasha said, tapping the notepad with her pen. "From Chelsea last year, so good prospects. And then you've got the girl who lives on lower sixth –"

"Which is very convenient," Eva chimed in with a nod.

"And then you've got that guy who took you for dinner at the place with the golden cutlery."

"He was a bit of a show-off."

"Ya think?" Natasha said, crossing his name off the list. "Okay, with him gone, that's… seven people you've got clamoring to go on a date with you."

"Oh, gosh," said Eva. "I'm a harlot."

Natasha laughed. It was a Saturday night, and they were sat in the rec room of the Avengers compound, ignoring the muted television in favor of figuring out Eva's love life. "At least you've got something to keep you busy."

"I don't need it, though! I am busy! Very, incredibly busy! If you want some of them, by all means take them!"

"People are too scared of me to even think about asking me on a date," said Natasha. "I can't imagine why."

Eva buried her face in her hands and groaned. "You'd think that the population being halved would mean that I would have to deal with less relationship crap, but no. It's doubled."

"Well, there aren't many eligible candidates left. You don't have to go on a date with any of them, you know."

"I know, I know." She flipped the cover shut on the notebook. "Have you spoken to Bruce recently?"

"Ha! No. No, he's… otherwise occupied."

"Hmm. Right," said Eva, and pulled out her phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Seeing if there are any nightclubs left open in New York."

"Oh," said Natasha. "Oh, no. Absolutely not."

"Look – you need distracting, and clearly I am not enjoying daytime dating. C'mon, it'll be fun."

"I'm too old!"

"I'm sorry," said Eva, "what did you say? Because to me it sounds like you're saying you're a coward."

"I ran away from the KGB to fight aliens for a living, and you're calling me a coward because I won't go to some sticky club with you to drink overpriced tequila and get groped by strangers?"

"Yep."

Natasha narrowed her eyes. "Fine."

"Yay! Girls' night!"

A/N right, so I blitzed Wandavision in one night instead of sleeping so now I have the ZEST and OOMPH to hopefully finish this before the end of the year (did I say that last year? Oh well). I know my upload schedule has been horrendous and I am so sorry, but to new followers - hello! Welcome! And thank you for bringing us up to over ONE MILLION VIEWS! Also, isn't Wandavision just amazing and wonderful and so beautifully done and I love it so much.

Also, a side effect of not having written this in months is I looked at the last chapter and thought "oh, I hate this", so this one was just me basically retconning the beginning of a romantic subplot because after months of drawing a blank I now have better, juicier ideas to tide you over until the end of the fic (which I do have planned out and even half-written, it's just a matter of getting there.) I'm excited to be back, and hopefully I am going to be regular (I know, I've said this before) until the end.