Broken from the news, Clarisa finally gets to have a heartfelt conversation with Madelyn.

A\N: So, bad news… we're in level four lockdown, again, this time for five days. If it ends on day five, I'll be going back to work this upcoming Thursdays, I usually post on Monday. If it doesn't…

Well… no work, no pay.

The good news is… I'll have "free" days to work on my story, and I won't be in any sort of income danger any time soon. Like Vastorie, I'm a cheapskate. I save more money than I spend.

Neither one had moved, all eyes focused on the girl on her knees, sobbing with her back turned to them. Everything she knew about the world had come crashing down. She had built her walls with false truth, arguing that Vastorie was the pinnacle of perfection…

He was anything, but perfect…

He had his flaws, serious ones… provided, Daniel and Killua were telling the truth. She felt like something was off with the man from day one, but he kept being nice to her… treating her in a manner she'd being craving since her family started abusing her ignorance for their own, gains.

She believed he was incapable of hurting anyone. Even when he refused to adopt her, all she felt is he was doing it for her own, good… He was trying to find something that suited her best.

Then that condition he set…

It messed her up…

She tried to let others in…

But when she saw their smile, something had twisted inside of her. It made her want to push them away. It felt like the same smile she received from her parents… Every time she'd receive it, they expected something from her in return.

If Vastorie smiled, it never felt like that for her… he seemed distant, reclusive… he was always sad when he smiled at her. He knew what she been through… he knew, that her life sucked… until she had met him.

But being at this school… being stuck around Kiel… around Clarisa… something wanted to make her believe she should be open around them. But every time she got that feeling, she shut her thoughts about opening herself up.

Then Daniel and Killua had to ruin it… forcing her to the tether. They expected her to break and the moment she did, she'd tell Clarisa the truth about her upbringing.

Then, in her head, she assumed Clarisa relayed everything back to the boys…

But she hadn't… she kept it a secret…

Even now…

Clarisa refuses to say anything until she broke that silence. She couldn't muster the ability to say anything, not while everyone was here…

Looking at her…

Silently judging her…

How could she be open, when her mind screams to remain silent. She asked her question again, this time more broken "Why… Why is it so hard to let people in?" She didn't want an answer to her question, yet at the same time… she was expecting one.

Daniel broke the silence, "Because being open makes you feel vulnerable…"

"I didn't want an answer…" She barked back out of anger, but then that guilt bubbled back up. She felt her eyes water. There she goes again… pushing others that she now knows, is only trying to help… far away from her.

Clarisa stepped closer to the girl.

When she raised her hand, Madelyn looked away, cowering at the prospect of being hit by someone she once tried to let in. What instead she felt was a pair of arms wrapping around her.

Like a dam, she broke down, crying loudly as her fingers found purchase in the girl's back.

Clarisa winced from the pain, but rather than push the girl away, she held her closer. She needed this… now more than ever. She has needed a shoulder to cry on for a long time coming…

No matter how much it hurts, she'll let Madelyn be clingy just this once… because it might be the only time, she'll ever be clingy. Although, she highly doubts that… She highly doubted that Madelyn will be able to shut herself away again.

Then again… she had already been disappointed several times now.

Something told now would be different…

So, she held the girl close, using her fingers to comfort the girl.

Daniel looked at Eifion, silently pleading for the man to leave. Offering a nod, the man retreated to the shadows, staying to watch the changes unfold.

Daniel opened his mouth to speak, but Clarisa shook her head, letting him know he should let the girl's tears run out… to let everything that had been building up, to stop crumbling on its own.

Killua pulled his partner in, speaking low enough so only the two of them could hear, "You think things will change?"

"I hope so… she looks…"

"Broken?"

"No…" Daniel shook his head, "No, I think she's finally free… Free from the weight holding her down."

Killua offered a silent nod in response. Hopefully, that freedom doesn't come with sass, or the need to continue acting like she's the most important person in this conversation.

"~"

Madelyn eventually calmed down. She tried to push Clarisa away, but she was so weak… weak enough to break around the boys she refused to accept help from. Finally building the courage, she pressed a hand against Clarisa's shoulder.

The girl looked at her, fresh tears in her eyes.

Wiping one away, the girl smiled at her in response.

"Let go of me… please…"

The girl gave a nod in response, standing up only once Madelyn was standing.

"I owe an apology…" Madelyn tilted her head over slightly, looking over her shoulder in the direction of the boys and man she was expecting to find. But once she turned around, Eifion was no longer there. But the elevators were still on… she could technically leave.

But something held her to the spot, a need to apologise for her mistakes, "An apology for how I treated you, even when you were trying to help."

"About time…" Killua gave her a cocky grin. But he was met with silence, had she truly changed? She wasn't arguing with him… much less acting aggressively. Within this moment, she had changed. He apologised, "I'm sorry, please continue."

She shook her head in response to the boy's words, "I treated you unfairly… a part of me still believes I shouldn't trust you, but if what you say about Vastorie is true… then that doubt is unjustified… Is Vastorie truly, an assassin?"

Killua offered a nod, "He is… just like his grandfather…"

Grandfather…? Then… "Is Daniel one too…?"

Killua shook his head, "He grew up to be like his other father, Nathaniel. Sure, he has killed someone… but the sorrow he felt afterwards… how broken he was… it's not in his nature to kill."

"I…" The girl fell silent, letting the words sink in, "I think I understand."

Clarisa intertwined her fingers within Madelyn's.

The girl turned to her hand, taking note of her fingers being within her own. It took a second too long to react. She pulled her hand away quickly, blushing from the act, "Why would you suddenly hold my hand weirdo?"

Daniel snickered from the reaction.

"Why you laughing?!" Madelyn pointed an accusing finger at the boy.

Daniel smiled as he looked at her, "Because it reminds me of someone, I know…"

When Killua blushed right next to his partner, Madelyn remained silent. She let those words take hold of her being. Even someone who was probably taught to remain emotionless still developed feelings for someone else…

Or maybe, Killua was just an anomaly "Is that so…" She shifted her weight, "What else could you tell me about Vastorie…"

"A lot of things…"

"But you want something in return, don't you…?"

The boy offered a nod in response, "I want to know how you're connected to my father. Maybe… I could tell you why he didn't want to adopt you?"

The girl shook her head, "It's not that I don't want to tell you… or I can't… it's that I don't want an answer to that question. I don't want to know why… not right now, at least…"

Daniel raised a curious eyebrow. This issue seemed more complex than he originally thought. Madelyn was now willing to divulge what happened during her meeting with Vastorie, but if he's able to engage in the conversation, to come up with a reasonable answer to why she never became his sister… she didn't want to know, "Are you sure you don't want answer… a reason why he held back all those years?"

"Yes…" Madelyn paused to look away, "Not right now. Considering how I treated you… even if he one day he decided to ask me, I'll turn it down. It's not fair considering how I treated you… the two of you."

Daniel pressed a thumb to his chin. She felt regret from her actions… she was now denying her happiness, doing the complete opposite of what she wanted. Closing his eyes for a moment, he thought over her words.

There was one more thing he wanted to clarify "So if you were given a chance to be happy… you wouldn't take it?"

The girl bit her lip at the question. She wanted to say no, that she'll take it… but the thing that stopped her… is her feelings of unworthiness. She didn't believe within this moment, that she deserved to have this chance "Yes… I know that may seem selfish, but I need time to figure out what changed… Where I went wrong… before I can pursue any form of happiness. I need to figure out that part for myself…"

Daniel gave a nod, "Alright… but give the moment a chance; don't shut everyone out immediately. Sometimes you just need someone by your side to help you out… especially during those times of loneliness."

"I… I think I understand…" Madelyn flicked her eyes in the direction of Clarisa, taking note of the smile. She found herself blushing. Before any questions could arise from the situation, she flicked her attention back towards Daniel and Killua, "You see… when I was a kid…"

"~"

Daniel and Killua listened to the girl's story. Never once did they stop to ask her questions. The two of them were just listening, coming to their own, conclusion. They were mainly trying to figure out things on their own.

As much as they wanted to share the information with the other, it would mean breaking her rule. Even if she wouldn't lash out at them for breaking her request, it was still the right thing to do.

Once she was done, Killua spoke up "I understand that it can be hard to come out with this information. But you're not alone on the matter… some parents can be fucked up with their morals, about how they treat their kids… pushing their own rules and conditions on them… It's not fair on anyone stuck in that position…" The boy sighed as he crossed his arms, "I can understand why you lashed out at us…"

"Do you…?" She asked, not an ounce of accusation or angry dripping from her words. She was more curious about his conclusion on that aspect of her life, then demanding him to shut his mouth.

"We are what you've craved for a long time…"

She was about to object, then she closed her mouth. Maybe her silence left her feeling like she agreed with them, but in reality… she didn't know if she could object at all to that stance, "I don't know…"

Daniel added a comment on top of his parent, "You have someone who can help you figure out those feelings… no matter what they are."

"I guess, I do…" Clarisa tried to hold her hand, instead, Madelyn pulled her hand away, "Stop trying to grab my hand like a weirdo."

Clarisa pouted, "I'm not being a weirdo… I'm trying to comfort you."

"I don't see-" She stopped once she saw Killua's hand had remained on Daniel's hip during the whole conversation. People express their feelings in different ways. She shouldn't push Clarisa away for that reason.

But even still… she didn't feel ready to accept that form of comfort.

"So… where do we go from here? What do we talk about?"

Daniel held out his hand, "Killua and I prepared a list. If you're willing to listen, we're willing to talk about our adventure… what made us into who we are today."

"Sure…"

"We can also… talk about Vastorie… about other things we learned."

"Maybe some other day… I don't think I'm ready to hear any more about that man."

"Understandable…" The boy flashed a girl a smile, "Let's start at the beginning…" Turning to look his lover in the eyes, his smile grew, feeling more genuine the longer he looked into his partner's eyes, "When we met each other…"

Madelyn faked gagging. Sometimes these two can be unbelievable mushy… As much as she wanted to pretend like it didn't exist, for some reason… seeing it this time without being judgemental… acting distant from the two, it reminded her of someone else. Killua was right, Daniel is like Nathaniel…

Clarisa playfully slapped the girl on the shoulder, "Don't be rude… Daniel can't help he's head-over-heels for Killua."

Killua blushed at the comment. He wanted to lean into Daniel's gaze, but he held himself off. Later, when they're alone he'll let himself fall to the boy's expressive gaze. Now wasn't that time, "As much as you like to swoon over me…" He bent closer to his partner, whispering the next part into his ear, "later~"

Pulling away from his blushing partner, he spoke directly to Clarisa and Madelyn, "It wasn't love at first sight… as much as Daniel wants to believe in that kind of stuff. I met my first friend… my best friend… the one I developed, I guess you could say a crush on, Gon. But back then, I didn't know what those feelings were… as you know, I grew up around people who never showed their emotions. Compassion and love, I never got to witness it… until I met Daniel and Gon. They had their own way of showing those sorts of feelings…"

Killua flicked his gaze in Daniel's direction, "But honestly… it's better to have strange people surrounding you at all times, then mundane… emotionless, dry, brick walls." The boy sighed before he flicked his gaze back to the girls, "When I went to challenge the Hunter's exam… I never expected my life to change… at least not like how it transpired."

Killua reminisced on his history with his closest friends, bringing up thoughts, feelings… emotions, he would've otherwise kept to himself during his adventure. Much like Gon, he couldn't contain his smile, but unlike Gon… his smile was due to the memories engraved into his mind.

Gon's would've been attached to the excitement of the adventure, the things he got to keep… the memories he'd cherish... even the ones that were filled with sorrow. Because he learned something new with new every place, he visited… person he met, he obtained so many things within those two years. The excitement… was overfilling his cup.

From what he knows, Gon may be seeking a type of normalcy with his partners… but that cup, will be always be overflowing… dripping from the sides. One day he'll seek excitement, but Gon didn't seem like the type to leave his partners behind, at least… not after what happened during the war.

He already felt what it's like to lose the ones closest to him, from his own, selfish desires. He wasn't going to do it again. If they couldn't keep up, he'll drag them along…

To experience the world like he had…

But for Killua right now, that normalcy is something completely different. He wants to escape the constant threats… He wants to grow at his own pace, to try new things when he can.

This school offered that opportunity. Who knows, when this chance will run its course.

But if he had to guess…

It'll be soon…

Daniel spoke about his side of things, how he got to experience the exam with Zaikaria, his sister at his side. From the endurance exam to the Numere wasteland. He and Killua bounced their feelings off each other, expressing their feelings and thoughts of what happened during that time.

Killua talked about his feeling of jealousy when Gon clung to Daniel in a friendly manner… considering him a friend… going as far to even say it to his face.

Daniel countered the boy's argument, saying that he considered Killua his friend before Gon did. And even if Gon had already considered them friends before he said it to Killua, his point was still valid.

He wanted to be friends with Killua, despite all the things they went through and continue to go through, if he had another chance to repeat that moment, he'll ask to be his partner's friend again.

Daniel brought the conversation to Zaikaria and her over-protective nature. The boy didn't try to argue against his partner's hatred and disgust towards the older woman, all he stated, was how she didn't like Killua at all.

Clarisa decided to play the devil's advocate, "If my younger brother was crushing on a member of the Zoldyck family, BEFORE… I got to know them… I'd be in your sister's shoes."

"You did, after all… try to check on your brother once you found out Alluka was one of those members."

"To be fair… you just told me your life was a lie. Of course, I'd be worried."

"Well, I've known Daniel for a little more than two years now… yet his sister's feelings about me hadn't changed at all."

Clarisa gave a nod of understanding, "This is where I object to Zaikaria's feelings on the matter. You two have known each other for a long time now, her fear… or whatever she's holding against you, should've been expunged by now. What was she expecting… you to take a bullet for Daniel?"

"Considering my reflexes… I'd probably catch the bullet, then she'd bitch about me using the bullet on Daniel or something…"

"Yeah…" Daniel interrupted the two, "let's not go down that route. Once you regain those memories, I think she'll change her mind."

"What memories?" Clarisa asked out of curiosity.

"We'll talk more about that later, for now… all I'll say is I met Daniel when we were younger… when I was on a job."

"Daniel saw you in action? What was his reaction?"

Daniel held up a finger, "One… I thought he was an angel, because back then… I stumbled across him under the moonlight, so it looked like he had a halo glow surrounding him."

"And to that, I say… you say the most embarrassing shit."

"Two…" Daniel ignored his blushing partner, "My innocent mind thought it was his family that was dead, not his target. I hadn't been brought up with the idea that there are people that killed for a job. It didn't help that my sister wiped my memory of that moment. All I know, after regaining those memories due to an incident, is back then I tried to defend Killua… but all my sister saw was Killua's hands covered in blood, and him holding my body which was bleeding out… due to Killua's older brother trying to get rid of me."

Killua gave a nod, "So, I can understand why she was pissed from the initial reaction… but ever since then… since we met again, neither of us knew about that initial meeting, due to our older siblings removing or hiding our memories of that time. Anyways, we hit it off as friends… got closer, and now my boyfriend happens to be the guy my older brother tried to kill."

"And my boyfriend happens to be the guy that saved me from his older brother's attempt at killing me."

"Sappy…" Killua taunted back.

"Cute…"

Killua blushed from Daniel's returned compliment. He was terrible like that.

Clarisa let out a small smile of endearment, "Both of you are sweet to each other."

"I guess so…" The boy tried to feint embarrassment over the situation. He was getting tag teamed over his sweet nature, his kindness for his lover… He needed to get off this sappy conversation.

As he blushed over Clarisa's and Daniel's earlier comments, he progressed the conversation, moving onto the cooking part of their exam, their failure to impress the examinee with cooking a boar "We failed the cooking part of the exam… Daniel somehow poisoned his food…"

"But I'm great at baking… go figure…"

"I can vouch for that. He made a multi-layered chocolate cake for Alluka's Birthday. Very delicious, couldn't complain."

"And I wasn't invited because…?"

"It was just the three of us, and Killua would've killed you for a slice of that cake."

Killua crossed his arms as he nodded in agreement, "One-hundred per cent. When it comes to chocolate, I'd murder someone for it… Especially, Daniel's cake…"

"Except for Alluka… he struggled to not give himself a bigger slice, than the one he gave for his sister."

As Killua pouted, he crossed his arms, "I didn't struggle… Mine just happened to be of a similar size."

"Keep telling yourself that." Daniel gave his partner a sly smirk, "Considering the tester failed all of us over a stupid reason, the leader of the selection committee had to step in, and force her to redo the test. That's when we got to try a Dream Egg." The two of them beamed as they spoke about when they first tried a Dream egg. The unique flavour…

From its soft texture to the sweet, sour, and somehow also salty flavour. A was a blend that made everything work together… and all they had to do was boil it in water.

It'll be a moment the two of them will remember forever, a cherished moment they had with Gon, Leorio and Kurapika. They were one of the few moments they had fun, while they weren't in a life-or-death situation.

Sure… the web could've snapped and all of them would've fallen to their death.

But there wasn't someone in the background, threatening to take them out… Like the Chimera Ants… The Phantom Troupe… or even Victor… it was webbing loosening from the weight of so many people dangling from it.

Daniel brought the topic forward, speaking about the next part "Third phase involved getting down a tower of puzzles, I completed it with my sister… Killua went with Gon, Leorio, Kurapika and… Tonpa, I believe."

Killua frowned, "Yeah… that fat slob was doing everything in his power to get us all to fail. He almost even died in the process…" The boy chuckled to himself, "One of the stages involved wins, losses and betting time. The objective of the opponents was to reduce their sentence, one hour was equivalent to one year. So, the longer they delayed us… the more they reduced their sentence. Tonpa, went up against an Ex-Marine. If he didn't give up, the Ex-Marine would've crushed his vocal cords so he couldn't give up."

Madelyn raised an eyebrow, "And you laughed about that because…"

"It would've been Karma… This same guy tried to poison us with laxatives at the start of the exam. Not only that, he tried to appear as though he was secretly brimming with power… but all he really was, was a con man trying to break other examinees…"

"The laxatives would make sense, in terms of getting others to fail at the start… but not breaking them."

"He came off as too cocky… always talking like he had a separate agenda. It turns out… I was right. He tried to knock Leorio out in the fourth phase… there was just one small problem… he was Kurapika's target. But that wasn't about to happen yet." Snapping his finger, Killua's grin grew widely, "back to the prisoners. Tonpa lost because he gave up. Next up, was Kurapika… which we learned something about him. He hates spiders… specifically, the Phantom Troupe."

Pressing his hand against his hip, Killua's features grew cold "The man that looked like Frankenstein's failed experiment, pretended as though he was one of these members… being vocal about how many people he killed, by the number of hearts on his chest… he had nineteen, Kurapika… was supposed to be number twenty. The only problem is… he too, was nothing more than a con man. He made short work of the man… knocking him out in a single hit before we could hear the keyword being uttered… I give up."

Smiling once more, Killua crossed his arms, "Leorio vs the third member. We were at one loss, zero wins. The third must-have slipped the second a note because she originally bid that he was unconscious. However, when Leorio held him against the edge, threatening to push him off the side… she changed her bid. She bid on him faking it. Frankenstein's monster woke up then gave up, handing us our first win. However, it came at a cost. We lost twenty hours from that bid. In the end, we lost that round… and fifty hours."

Once more, Killua found himself smiling, "Now for the last two easy wins. Another con man of sorts. Gon was up against this person, it was about whose candle would last the longest. He tampered with Gon so it'll melt quicker… but what he hadn't anticipated, was Gon would use the brightly burning candle to his advantage… he blew out the opponent's candle before his went out, scoring us another win…"

Daniel crossed his arms, "And this is when you were the tiebreaker, considering it was two against two."

Killua offered a nod to his partner, "I was up against Johness the dissector… Leorio told me to lose immediately, but I decided against it. It was a serial killer… against a trained, Zoldyck Assassin. It was an easy-peasy fight. While he was talking about how he wanted to rend my flesh, piece-by-piece… I plucked his heart out. He was dead within a minute… and as his cold dead body laid motionless on the ground, I put his heart in his palm… then I turned to the Ex-Marine… and dared him to fight me, if he felt like he was missing out on having some fun. After he stepped away with his tail between his legs, we were put into a room where we had to wait out those lost fifty hours." The boy let out a groan of boredom.