Author's Note: This chapter contains post-moon scenes

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Over the weekend it became a (rather disgusting) game for students to find rotting dead fish stuck in random places in the Grand Stairwell, as well as occasionally in various hallways that branched out from it. Unfortunately, Peeves found a small pile of rotted fish on Sunday and triumphantly brought them to the High Table during supper, dumping them right on top of McGonagall.

"Know you've been looking for these, McGon-eeee-gullll!" Peeves drew out loudly. "Here you go!" With a loud cackle he disappeared while McGonagall picked slimy fish guts off the brim of her hat, looking absolutely livid.

James almost slid under the table while Sirius went rather purple trying not to laugh.

On Monday morning, when the Marauders went down to breakfast, the fish smell was still very strong. There were a few paintings that still needed to be cleaned too, and Remus suspected a lot of fish juice was still on the walls. He knew there were still loads of fish that hadn't been found in the Grand Stairwell, let alone the ones that went off down random corridors. When he mentioned this, James joked that someday their kids would find a set of fish bones with wings flapping feebly down some hallway.

"It's going to stink for so long," Sirius said as they made their way down one of the sets of stairs.

"It's so gross," Peter complained, pinching his nose.

"Perhaps if you hadn't done it…" They stopped, turning to see Lily standing behind them, her nose in the air. "Everyone knows it was you two. I don't understand why Professor McGonagall hasn't given you detention yet!"

They had been questioned on Saturday, naturally, and it was clear McGonagall suspected them however she had no evidence that they had done it. They had long gotten rid of the fishy sheets, and cleaned out their cauldrons (thankfully managing to get the fish smell out of them!). There was no evidence linked to them. Of course, that didn't stop the entire school from blaming them.

"Why would we do it?" James asked innocently.

"Maybe you like playing with dead fish, but we don't," Sirius added.

"Sirius!" Remus snapped, while Lily harrumphed and brushed past them.

Sirius shrugged. "She's the one who brought it up…"

Remus didn't press the subject, feeling too tired to do so, though he did apologize to Lily at breakfast.

In Potions, Remus partnered up with Aegis as it felt like forever since they last saw one another, and Aegis questioned him about the fish. Remus considered telling him the truth then changed his mind, lying mostly for the sake of the others. If it had been just him who had done the prank he probably would have said something.

"Are you able to return to Study Group tonight?" Aegis whispered as they worked. "Your detention is over, isn't it?"

"Yes, I'll be there tonight," he promised. "Thank Merlin my detention is over."

"Has Professor Slughorn said anything about you being able to use it yet?"

Remus shook his head. "No…" He cast an anxious glance at his teacher, once again getting a weird feeling that Slughorn would somehow know he had used the spell over the weekend and would yell at him, even though it wasn't illegal or against the rules to do such a thing! "I'm not expecting any real answer, anyway. I doubt he'll say yes."

Aegis bit his bottom lip. "Do… you want me to… talk to him? I could," he added as Remus opened his mouth. "Perhaps if I advocate for you—"

"No, I don't know if that would be a good idea," Remus said quickly. "I don't want him getting upset with you."

Aegis shifted his weight, carefully stirring the potion. "I doubt he would."

Remus swallowed, very uncomfortable with the possibility of Aegis doing that. What if Slughorn questioned him on what he knew about Remus's strong sense of smell? He'd never say anything directly, Remus knew that, but he might question Aegis enough to make Aegis suspect something! "I appreciate it, I really do. I just don't think it would help anything."

Finally Aegis nodded. "Very well, if you believe so, I shan't go to him."

Remus's shoulders slumped a little in relief.

/\/\/\/\/\

It was very weird returning to Study Group. Lily was very happy as he accompanied her to the library, chattering on about how much she had missed him and how pleased she was he was back. He felt a little bad that he'd be missing out the rest of the week.

Four moons again, he thought as he slid into his usual seat. He'd have four in June, and again in August! It exhausted him just thinking about it. And while he'd only have three in July, he knew the moon would be pretty much completely full all three nights and he wasn't sure if that affected anything or not. It wasn't easy for him to tell a difference normally; he supposed he'd have to wait and see if it made a difference. Of course, he didn't even understand the whole completely full versus nearly full, and its effect on him.

The main subject of Study Group was the upcoming exams which were now three weeks away, and four of those nights Remus would be gone—so sixteen days to study for him. Even though he had been studying a lot, fear ransacked his body. Was he prepared? Would he be prepared?

Instead of focusing on assignments, there was a lot of speculation about what would be on the final exams, or what sort of spells they would need to do. Remus drew swoops and swirls on some parchment while they yammered on, growing bored. After well over five minutes he opened his books and began writing down information. That seemed to knock some sense in the others and the conversation changed to their schoolwork. Which went fine, until the moon was brought up—almost as if Remus's thoughts had been broadcast out.

He glanced up, not sure why the moon was mentioned. Twycross had been talking so he sort've tuned her out. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her to repeat herself, then he bit it back, not daring to. Lily began talking about Potions which made things more confusing until it dawned on him that they were talking about a plant that needed to be gathered under the full moon for a specific use.

"My brother told me that earlier this year Professor Sprout had their class meet in the greenhouse during a full moon, to observe some plants," Bones said.

No, Remus thought, trying to keep his face impassive, trying not to panic over the thought of it being obvious he missed that lesson if they had to go!

"Oh!" Pierce said, perking up. "That would be so exciting!"

"The full moon is on Thursday," Buckling remarked. "Hopefully it'll be clear for our Astronomy lesson."

Why are we discussing the full moon?! His fingers tightened slightly around his quill and he looked back down, carefully drawing more loops again as if he were merely uninterested by the topic and not on the verge of a total panic breakdown.

"Actually, the full moon is on Wednesday," Twycross said, tossing her hair back.

Buckling raised an eyebrow. "Actually," she said, mimicking Twycross's tone, "it's on both nights. The full moon can last two nights."

Four, Remus thought as his stomach twisted. Would this conversation lead to suspicion when he wasn't there Thursday night? It was something always in the back of his head for Astronomy. All he could really do was hope nobody put two and two together. Maybe I should say my mother's sick, he thought, staring blankly at his parchment.

He thought about it all through the rest of Study Group and when he went to the dorms afterwards, he broke the news to his friends who were busy playing Wild Adventures. Miss Finch had sent her newest finished token—the runespoor—along with a note essentially asking James to play-test it, which he was doing with gusto.

"Your mother?" Sirius asked as soon as Remus said it, dropping the dice in his hand. It landed on a six but Sirius didn't give his ashwinder any commands. He pretty much always took the ashwinder when playing, having gotten very good at using it to its fullest abilities. Considering that half the beginning forest was burned down, it looked like Sirius was on his way to win.

"Y-yes." Remus went to his desk, dumping his books onto it. "We have Astronomy Thursday night, and it is supposed to be clear."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Peter asked.

"Siri, go," James whispered, poking Sirius.

"Huh? Oh… er, four straight, one left one up."

Remus turned, leaning back against the desk. Exhaustion had settled into his bones as soon as he woke up and after a full day of school he was ready to drop. "I always get anxious when I'm away for Astronomy. Doesn't Spring talk about the full moon when he can?"

James adjusted his glasses, watching Sirius's ashwinder get into a battle with a shadow creature. "He sure does. It can be kind've annoying, you're not missing much."

"It isn't what I'm missing, it's the fact I am missing," Remus pointed out, picking up his Potions book before climbing into his own bed. "Surely someone is bound to be suspicious I am never around when Spring rambles about the moon. Therefore, it's safer if I say it is my mother right now."

"KILL! KILL!" James shrieked when his runespoor met up with a shadow. "Triple bite!"

"That makes sense," Peter said, giving Remus a crooked smile. "Um, nobody's said anything to us though, in case that helps you make yo—in case that helps make you feel better."

"It does, thank you," Remus replied, ignoring Sirius's scowl.

"Egg drop!" James shrieked, and his runespoor spat out an egg on top of the shadow creature which did damage to it. "Yes! Ha! Another step closer to victory."

"Yeahhhh, you're not gonna beat Sirius," Peter said.

"Shh. I can if you stop being so pestamistic."

"Pessimistic," Remus murmured. "James, you've used that word before—" But James was too busy with the game to pay any attention.

"Whatever you think is best," Sirius mumbled.

Remus drew his feet up a bit to balance his Potions book across his lap in front of him. "I'll say it's me for next month."

"That also has a Thursday," Sirius said, studying Remus closely. "It starts on a Thursday. Wouldn't that be weirder? If you go to classes then go missing that night? You should say it's you this time, then next month—uh, well, next month we'll see."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Next month you'll try to convince me to say it's me too," he said, and Sirius shrugged. "Although, you are on to something there. I suppose next month it would be… a little more dangerous for it to be me. Very well, I'll say it's me this time, and next month it'll be my mother."

Sirius perked up. "So we can visit you this week?"

"Yes," he said, opening his book and ignoring Sirius's triumphant smirk.

/\/\/\/\/\

Remus could barely drag himself out of bed on Tuesday morning. When he eventually did, his friends suggested he skip classes for more sleep. Remus shook his head, trying his best to get to the bathroom. It felt like some sort of gravity spell had been placed on him; his entire body felt heavy and difficult to maneuver due to the exhaustion. When he glanced in the mirror he was rather relieved to see that while he looked terrible, he didn't look quite as much on the brink of death as he had before.

He hoped Herbology would be easier, however Sprout had a partnered project in mind, and would be choosing partners at random. Remus was a little distressed by this news, since he'd be missing the next Herbology lesson. Plus he was so tired today he doubted he'd be much help…

Maybe I'll be given one of my friends, or maybe even Bones who hopefully would understand me being missing, he thought hopefully, and his hopes were dashed when Peter was paired up with a Hufflepuff named Yardley, James was given Nettle, Lily had Catchlove, and Bones was with the female Hill twin. Remus still had the chance to be with Sirius until—

"Rivers with Lupin," Sprout said.

Remus frowned. Well, Rivers definitely wasn't the worst possibility. They barely knew one another, but maybe Rivers would still be happy enough with the revenge they gave on his behalf that Remus being missing wouldn't be too upsetting. Just when Rivers sat down next to him, Sprout paired Sirius up with Tanaka. There were some quiet 'ooooh's, and several giggles. Inkwood looked dumbstruck, staring wide-eyed as Sirius, grinning from ear to ear, happily went to sit with the other prettiest girl in their year. Tanaka smiled, a faint blush on her cheeks when Sirius slid into the seat next to her.

Sprout explained what they were supposed to do: spend nine days studying a chosen plant on Hogwarts' grounds. Not the greenhouses, but a native plant. They were to hand in an essay next Thursday with as much information on the plant as they could get.

And I'm going to be gone four of those days, Remus thought miserably.

"You don't have class at four, do you?" Rivers asked when Sprout gave them time to talk about the project.

"Um, n—no," Remus stammered out.

"You want to meet up to go look for a plant?"

Remus looked down at the desk, heart pounding. "Um, I—I—ah, er, maybe. I'm not… I'm not f-feeling great so I w-was going to see Madame P-Pomfrey after Defense Against the—the Dark Arts," he said cautiously. "If I'm not—if I—if I d-don't have to… stay in the hospital wing I—I'll meet you at f-four."

Rivers was frowning. "Yeah, you don't look so well."

"Um, if—if you—if I—" Remus glanced at Sprout then back at Rivers. "M-maybe we should talk to Professor Sprout?"

"What for?"

"Um, if—if I need to—if I'm not—if I don't—" Rivers raised his eyebrows, waiting for Remus to get his words out. Remus took in a deep breath. "If I have to st-stay. I don't want you to have t-to do it alone."

"Oh," Rivers said rather softly. "I see. You're usually back within a day or so though."

"Um, usually, yeah…"

"I don't mind," Rivers continued, cheerfully. "Worst comes to worse we only have a few days but you're really smart so it'll be all right. If—if you're okay with it I can find a plant."

"Er, you can, if-if-if you want," Remus stammered out. "You—maybe we c-could ask if you could be p-paired up with someone else?"

Rivers shook his head. "No, I don't mind. I know! I can choose a couple of plants and start research and when you're feeling better you can choose which one you like best."

"No, that—that's a lot of work—"

"Not too much," Rivers said, turning to scribble things down in his notebook. "If you're good with that plan, I don't mind doing that."

Remus slumped back, realizing it was a bit futile to convince Rivers to get a new partner. "Um, I—I guess if you r-really don't mind if I'm g-gone for a few days then—then that—I mean, you can choose whichever plant," he added swiftly. "I'll trust your—your choice. I'm not picky about th-that."

"If you are hospitalized, are you allowed visitors?"

"Er, y-yes, sometimes," Remus whispered. "It depends on—on how much rest I need."

Rivers smiled brightly. "Then I can come see you tomorrow, if you're stuck there."

"O—okay."

"And if not, I'll see you at four!"

Remus nodded, unable to figure out what else to say, not that it seemed to matter; Rivers was a lot more stubborn than he expected!

/\/\/\/\/\

Even though Remus didn't need to go to the house in Hogsmeade until very late that evening (sunset wasn't until nearly nine-thirty) he did go to the hospital wing after Defense, collapsing into a bed without even letting Pomfrey know he was there. She didn't bother him until suppertime and, after he ate, she got him under a cloak to take him to the Whomping Willow.

Once in the house he curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the far wall as several thoughts flitted in and out of his head. Mainly of the brief conversation with Sirius on the train before the Easter holidays, regarding how many transformations he had gone through. Over three hundred (probably) by this point. He wondered how many hours. He supposed the average for a night was around ten or twelve hours. Summers were shorter but winters were very long.

Three thousand, three hundred hours, he thought, sitting up and looking at his hands. Probably more. Maybe less? No, probably more. It was difficult to judge what the average really would be, and he was too tired to figure it out in any case. So that would be… over a hundred and… forty… no, a hundred and thirty-some days.

He rubbed his forehead at that, feeling ill. He supposed the bright side was he didn't remember those hours lost, those days lost. Those days spent destroying himself.

Sighing, he forced himself to go upstairs to put everything in the cupboard; it was still a few hours until sunset but he was way too tired to stay awake any longer. He tucked everything into the box from Sirius, locked it in the wardrobe, then, using Peter's blanket to cover himself, headed back down to lay on the couch until he was dragged into oblivion.

/\/\/\/\/\

As usual, the first thing Remus was aware of was the pain blossoming through his body. Slowly his human mind returned to his skull, and shortly after his body finished shriveling back into that of a small boy. Gasping for air—and wincing in pain from doing so—he sat upright, glad he could do at least do that. It didn't take long to appraise his injuries beyond the usual scratches and small bites. The worst was the deep scratch along his ribs which was what caused the pain when he breathed.

Not bad though, he thought, struggling to get to his feet. It certainly wasn't anything like the usual carnage he woke up too. In fact, he hardly left a blood trail behind him at all! Only a few splattering drops of blood from his chest. Most of the wounds were shallow enough that all they did was ooze down his arms or legs.

He was rather cheerful when Pomfrey showed up, ignoring her pursed lips as he said with probably more excitement than was necessary at how light his wounds were.

"This is a bad one," she said, carefully cleaning out the gashes on his chest.

"Not that bad," he replied. "I've had worse."

Pomfrey gave a small snort, and Remus figured it was best to shut up. He didn't say another word, not until she helped him across the sparkling grounds of Hogwarts, alight with the sunrise dancing off all the dew. He slipped once and then cried out when she caught him on the side that was injured. When they got to the hospital wing she replaced the bandages with fresh ones then tucked him into his bed.

After one of his usual chocolate milkshakes, he slept soundly for nearly three hours until he was awoken by Pomfrey for visitors. James, Sirius, and Peter rudely pushed their way in the second Pomfrey tried to speak to Remus, settling around Remus's bed happily. Pomfrey shook her head, leaving them after a threat of making sure they stayed quiet.

"How was it?" Sirius whispered as soon as the door shut.

Remus grunted as he pushed himself into a better sitting position. "Not too bad," he admitted as Sirius adjusted the pillow behind him. "Thank you. How was—oh, no, it's Wednesday, you haven't had class yet."

"Is that all you can think about?" teased James.

"Ooh, we brought you stuff," Peter said, digging around in his bag till he found a small box of double fudge chocoballs. "Been saving it for you since our last trip to Hogsmeade."

"It wasn't too bad?" Sirius asked.

Remus happily opened the box. There were four chocoballs and he demanded each friend take one, refusing to take his until they selected theirs. "Not really. I could have easily bandaged myself up."

Sirius perked up. "Is it getting better, then?"

"Is what getting better?"

"Your… moons."

"No?" Remus tilted his head. "I… have had times like this before, where it isn't so bad." Sirius looked vastly disappointed, and turned his attention to his chocoball, picking at cake bits until he got to the mousse. "Er, how did your practice go, James?"

James talked about his practice for a while, then Peter filled Remus in on the big gossip going around which was Inkwood and Tanaka. Sirius cleared his throat when Peter brought it up, and smacked him, but Peter was undeterred. Apparently Sirius had spent more time with Tanaka going over their project the previous night than Inkwood liked.

Remus didn't quite understand. "You were working on a project. What's the big deal about that? It's a project. You're going to be spending time with Tanaka. Why should that make her mad?" All three boys gave him looks. "What?"

"She's jealous, you big oaf," James said, starting to punch Remus's arm then stopping himself when his fist was about an inch away. "Oh, oops."

Remus groaned at that. "I get that. It's just very silly for her to be jealous over the fact they're spending time together working on a project."

Peter leaned in, whispering, "I think it's more of the fact he spent about five hours with Tanaka straight."

"Yeah, Sirius, were you going over your project the whole time?" giggled James.

"Tanaka enjoys Herbology and is very invested in this project," Sirius said rather haughtily, licking the mousse off his fingers.

"I'm sure she's very invested in something," James said, then yelped when Sirius lobbed a bit of the chocoball at him.

"It's not like Cass is my girlfriend," Sirius grumbled, wiping his hands off on his robes, leaving smears of chocolate.

"I think that's the problem," Peter said. "'Course, if you could choose between them, which would you go for?"

If all they were going to do was talk about girls, Remus had half a mind to kick them out. This was rather boring.

"I'm not going for anyone!" Sirius snapped. "Tanaka is my Herbology partner. James spent loads of time with Nettle but you're not saying he's going for her."

"That's because Nettle sounds like a chipmunk and is about as interesting as one," James said. "Besides, I only spent maybe… forty minutes? Tops? With her?"

"Yeah, Yardley an' I only did stuff for half an hour," Peter added.

Sirius brushed his trousers off, ignoring them completely. "Remy, I'll take loads of notes for you in class today, I promise."

All your notes consist of are elaborate doodles and about one ounce of information on the lesson, Remus thought, then tried not to laugh too much as he thanked Sirius for his offer.

The subject changed to prank ideas though James did poke fun at Sirius a few more times about Tanaka until finally they all had to leave for Charms. They promised they'd visit again later in the day if Pomfrey let them, then they took off so they wouldn't be late. Remus had every intention of napping however almost as soon as he lay back down Pomfrey was at his door again, announcing another visitor. This time it was Rivers, hauling an overfilled satchel. Remus promised he was okay, and Pomfrey left them alone.

Rivers stood awkwardly by the door, clutching his satchel's strap as he stared wide-eyed at Remus. "Uh, hi."

"H-hi. Um. You c-can have a seat…"

Rivers shuffled over to the chair, sitting down, still staring at Remus. Remus shifted, wanting to slide under the covers to hide.

"Is s-something wrong?" Remus asked.

Rivers blushed, turning his eyes to his satchel as he began going through it. "Sorry. I guess I wasn't sure what to expect. I mean, I know you're sick and all but—I guess I—um. I picked out a few options—oh!" When he pulled his notebook out several papers went sliding to the floor. He was clearly shaken up by Remus's afflicted appearance. "Uh. Here." He thrust a piece of paper at Remus.

"I told you th-that you could pick one, it's f-fine," Remus said, glancing at the list.

Rivers was staring at him again. "I don't mind, whatever you like."

All of the listed plants seemed to be good choices. "Er, how about we g-go with—with puffapods? Th-that could be, um… fun."

"Puffapods sound good to me," Rivers said, nodding enthusiastically. "They're not that dangerous either. Si's trying to convince Deborah they should study the Whomping Willow."

Remus's stomach twisted at those words, panic sweeping through him even though there was no way either of them would be able to get close enough to discover the truth. "Sprout s-said we're supposed to b-be studying native p-plants, are we not? The Wh—Whomping Willow is no such thing."

Rivers laughed. "You're right about that. Though I think your friends wanted to do the Willow too."

"Which ones?"

"Not sure," Rivers said, shrugging. "They were all out there—uh, Black, Potter, and Pettigrew I mean—last night before curfew, near the Willow."

A chilly shiver of dread went down his spine. All three of them? Why were they there? Did one of them want to do the Whomping Willow for the project? Was that all? He'd have to find out the next day, if he was able to have visitors. Surely they couldn't suspect that led to his hideout, could they?

Remus felt so panicked he began choking which he tried to turn into what sounded (hopefully sounded!) like a coughing fit. He grabbed his glass of water, taking a long gulp. "S-sorry."

"No, you're okay." Rivers's forehead wrinkled. "Do I need to get Madame Pomfrey?"

"N-no, I'm f-f-f-fine," he managed to get out, taking another sip of water. "Sorry, no I'm—I'm fine..."

"Er, okay," Rivers muttered, averting his gaze again. "Um… you know, I was wondering… what… what do you have?"

Remus swallowed, curling his fingers tighter around the glass of water. "I d-d-d-don't like t-talking abo—about it," he stammered out, not able to deal with this question after the Willow thing!

Rivers looked back up, eyes wide. "Sorry. That was rude of me."

"No, y—you're okay. I… I'm n-not mad or anything."

Rivers was silent for several long seconds and then he whispered, "I have something too." He said it so quietly Remus was fairly sure he wasn't supposed to hear. Remus almost asked him what he had but it wasn't really fair for him to have Rivers say, when he couldn't say his problem. Except then Rivers said, a bit louder, "Do you get bullied for it? I—I know a lot of people call you Loopy an' all, but do you get bullied for being sick?"

Remus set the glass down, unsure how to answer. "Sort of," he said. "In my f-first year Sn—Snape made a big announcement in—in P-Potions when we were s-supposed to partner up, c-calling me diseased. He… he says things l-like that. Sometimes p-people say things."

"Does it bother you?"

He shrugged. "I d-don't know. Sometimes." Then the tone of Rivers's voice sunk in, and he looked up at the Hufflepuff. "Do—do you? I m-mean, are you b-bullied?" He then took a chance at admitting he had heard Rivers. "About your—your con-condition?"

Rivers hung his head low, scratching at the surface of his notebook. "Yeah. Um. That—that's what… the third years were bullying me for, a couple months ago? Um, they haven't—they don't so much anymore. Occasionally they'll say something."

"That's so bloody awful!" Remus cried out, causing Rivers to jump. "You should g-g-go to Sp-Sprout! Bullying—b-bullying over a—a m-medical c-c-condition—"

"No, I don't want to make a big deal about it," Rivers said quickly, his face paling quite a bit. "If I do, they might tell other people. Right now they're satisfied with just bothering me about it. I—I don't want them saying anything to anyone else. I don't want to tip the cauldron, you know? I was only wondering if you had the same problem. About bullying. If you dealt—how—I was—uh—well—" Then suddenly he jumped to his feet. "I should go."

"You—"

"No, I'm supposed to meet Si in five minutes," Rivers said, shouldering his bag. "Thanks for—uh, yeah, I'll—puffapods are fine. I'll see you later."

Remus watched him run out, wondering exactly what he had. Something he didn't want to get around, but not something so awful (like lycanthropy) that others finding out (like Catterick and his gang) was a big threat. Obviously, Rivers couldn't think they had the same thing, since Rivers didn't wind up hospitalized for days on end every few weeks nor did he look on the brink of death.

Remus settled back into bed, trying not to burn with curiosity since he couldn't exactly tell Rivers what he had, there was no reason for him to know what Rivers had.