A/N: OFFICIALLY... this is the LONGEST Chapter yet. And the next chapter will also be long.
Sorry its taken a bit. Life and length you know. But here... enjoy some chaos and 'manly' bonding.
All in A Day (Drakken)
Drakken watched the lab swirl around in a vision of white, blues, and blended shades. It only stopped with a small wave of nausea as he grabbed his worktable to stop his spinning chair. He should have stuck to spinning his pen in boredom instead.
His boredom was his own doing and he knew this. He'd chosen to get up shortly after four in the morning, knowing full well he had very little work he could do since he had to wait for parts delivery on Monday... And Shego would be out all day if not the whole weekend. He blinked to focus his eyes and look at the clock.
"It's only nine in the morning," he groaned.
He'd already finished what little he could on the mood ring without parts. Repaired one of the many broke down hover vehicles, cleaned his workspace twice, and attempted to watch a movie. This had all been before Shego had even left. Even more irritating than not having something to work on or someone to ramble or chat with...was the lack of thoughts in his head. Normally his mind was spinning with ideas, good or bad... But today of all days. Nothing.
He looked at his workspace where a pile of magazines and a book Drakken had thought was about butterflies now sat. He'd raided Shego's normal seating area to attempt to learn more about his flowers. The fact that Shego had taken the initiative to do so of her own volition had originally made him mildly flustered at her care for his creations and extension of himself. The fact that they now seemed to favor her demands, and her current hench-flower, Peri...had quickly turned that affectionate feeling into annoyance. He knew it was his own subconscious triggering the effect, but Shego's apparent interest in them hadn't helped either.
In looking at her books and magazines, Drakken had been reminded of the fact that Shego had once aspired to be a teacher. The numerous highlights and notes she'd made from whatever experiments she was running had spurred him into reading the book she'd left as well, though it had turned out to be a book about circumstances and environmental change...and time-travel—a topic that had for some unknown reason, made him uncomfortable.
It seemed good.
Drakken let out a loud whine as he flopped his upper body onto his worktable. He picked up his phone and then put it down. He could easily call Shego and feign an emergency; he'd done it plenty of times in the past. Though he really had no drive to make a mess and destroy his lab. Drakken sat up and rolled his eyes at his own antics. He knew that would be childish and not very healthy for their current relationship.
His finger lingered on the call button.
"No." He put it down and got up to stretch. "I mean I could check in— No."
He looked at the phone for a second before hastily grabbing it and sending a text message.
"I'm just asking how it's going...nothing dramatic. Not needy." There was a beep. "Apparently she's having a good time."
Drakken muttered under his breath as he grabbed the books and magazines he'd gathered from her spot to put them back. He was halfway towards her area before he picked up his phone again and clicked on her location. She'd told him where she was going but he only knew it was a spa.
Okay, maybe sometimes I don't listen.
Her location was off.
He glared at the phone.
"After what we just discussed the other day," he scoffed. He shot a text to her again. "Flower. Did we or did we not talk about the series of events that transpired with Botox and their disturbing family?"
Flower appeared over his shoulder and made a nodding motion. Drakken began pacing as he looked at the phone, Flower using the time to place all of Shego's things back perfectly the way Drakken had found them earlier with him rambling to his sentient attachment the whole time.
"You know since she's stopped wearing her uniform as much, I think it's time to get her a more interchangeable tracking device," Drakken said. "Perhaps earrings."
Flower appeared in his face as if to stop his train of thought. Drakken waved the foliage away from him.
"She dismissed the actual tracking implant I suggested at dinner," he sighed. "It would be much easier and it didn't warrant her shoving me into the pool either."
Flower handed him a jug of water from under his work table.
"No, I am not thirsty— Wait...actually I am," he muttered as he took the jug. "If I tell her about it...she wouldn't be mad."
Flower made a wave motion with its veins as if trying to convey he may have a point.
"And besides. She spent an hour lecturing me about cursed items and touching things without thinking... And may I remind you—she expressly forbid me from being near anything that even has a hint of magical or cursed tendencies. She forbid me! ...I ought to put a tracking device on her for just that."
Flower bopped him in the head.
"Yes. I know she's right and it was well warranted. You don't have to agree," grumbled Drakken. He looked at the Flower. "Uhg, I hate that I agree. Fine! I won't sneak her a tracking device... But I'm gonna touch something cursed in spite."
Flower hung its head.
"Nghn. Okay, I won't," Drakken whined as he fell back into his chair. It slipped out from under him. "Gah!"
Drakken lay partially on the ground as Flower handed him his jug of water again. He pulled himself up and took it. It took exactly half the jug for Drakken's internal grumbling to subside. He looked at the phone and smirked as he saw Shego's location had been turned on. She hadn't texted back...which meant she was in fact having fun with her friends. Drakken leaned on the surface and stared at his phone. He raised a brow at a missed call notification.
"When and why did Eddie call me?" He thought about tossing his phone aside and forcing himself for the tenth time in the last two hours to focus.
He did not.
Drakken pushed the call button and waited to hear his cousin's boisterous and grammatically incorrect vernacular.
"It is vernacular, right?" Drakken questioned himself. The phone went to voicemail. "It's not like I wanted to talk to him anyway."
He placed his phone down and looked at a doodle of what looked like a shield that he vaguely remembered drawing the day before. He had no idea what he was attempting to create or what had even inspired it. The sound of a buzzer going off made him jump. He looked up at the monitor across from him and saw the reminder across the screen with a picture of a water jug on it. He rolled his eyes and hit the button under his desk to turn it off.
"Now she's putting on water alarms," he grumbled to himself as he grabbed the water jug she'd brought down before leaving. "Next she'll be putting on alarms to breathe."
He rolled his eyes in agitation as he looked at the screen, then to the plant magazines he'd placed back over in her space. He felt the agitation fade away as he did so. He vaguely wondered how much of her interest was to do with her own fears of the plants, the new control she had over them, and how much was to do with him. His internal thoughts told him it was for understanding of the plants and mutation, but there was a small part that really hoped it was because she was concerned for him. He turned back to look at his desk to find Flower in his face.
"Ahg!" He swatted it away. "Don't do that!"
Flower slid his phone back to him and Drakken yanked it away from the appendage.
"I am not calling her! Whatever part of my subconscious you thrive on better mingle with the other part that knows she will get angry... The very reason I am not pretending I need help to get her here... I need to think of something to do— What!?"
Flower bopped him on the head and hit the water jug.
"I'd find a way to give you verbal skills, but I really don't need the two of you teaming up to harass and mock me," grumbled Drakken.
He looked at the water jug after taking a drink and then back at the alarm. He smirked and pulled up the small monitor on his workspace to find Shego's location on the tracker. She was at her normal Grecian spa. His brows narrowed at the idea of that Midas man she had mentioned every time she'd gone touching her. It had always bothered him, despite knowing full well there was nothing there but professionalism, he was sure... Still. He could grumble to himself about, it or ignore her vacation and spa treatments as he had in the past. The idea of a muscular beach gorilla touching her made him cringe. Drakken's brow shot up as he remembered what he'd used to do when he was crushing on Shego in the past: remind her of him when she wasn't there. He hastily dialed the number of the spa, proceeding to not only pay for whatever she wanted, but add a little flourish of adoration before hanging up.
"There... That's taken care of... Now what?" Flower was in his face again. "I am allowed to do this, you know. She and I are a couple now... I can buy her whatever I want."
Flower slumped on the table.
"I am not insecure!" he snapped.
Flower hovered in front of him again.
"Yes...well...you know what? I don't care," he shrugged. "I am just showing my girlfriend I am thinking about her."
He smirked as he said it and leaned back in his chair. He spun the chair to look around his lab. It was the best lab he had ever had, and the lair was perfect. He was relishing in his success, despite the large pink flower attempting to get into the water jug. Drakken ignored that. All the projects he had been and would be offered no doubt...all a mark of accomplishment and pride. He was sure if he looked at the schedule Shego kept, he had a multitude of events to go to.
About time, really.
He looked out the windows along the top half of the lab towards the clear blue sky and clouds as he observed his surroundings more closely. The hint of the moon still lingered in the morning sky. Images of the wreckage from when they'd gotten back to Earth flew though his mind. He shook his head and looked around the table for his notes on what he was calling Ozone Patch Assist. Or OPA. Shego had snorted at it, though he couldn't figure out why. He needed to test it before he was sure it would work. He'd debated on turning one of the storage rooms into such a facility.
"I need more insulated thermal panels," he sighed. He looked at all his other pending order forms. "Something else to wait till Monday."
He growled to himself and resumed his slumped position on his workspace.
He began scrolling through his phone contacts, proud of himself for having added and labeled important ones for emergencies; years of minor to major situations had made it a necessity. He swiped up from Motor Ed's contact to land on Duff Killigan's. He looked at the monitor a few feet away from him and slid across the floor on his chair to make a call. He wasn't about to call on his simple phone and miss an opportunity to show off his new lab in the background. He fixed his best smug grin, which faltered as the videophone kept ringing.
It suddenly dawned on him that he wasn't sure if any of his villain associates and friends would even want to converse with him. His brow knitted as he was about to hang up. There was suddenly a lot of motion and what looked like grass and then sky. The sound of Duff's muffled voice and yell made Drakken retract his hand and wait. Drakken's smug expression returned as Duff's face came into view and the scene of his private golf course showed in the background.
"So did you throw the phone or hit it with a club?" smirked Drakken.
"I was mid-swing when the thing fell out of me pocket," grumbled Duff.
Drakken raised a brow.
"Your kilt...has pockets?" he asked.
"Aye, where do ye think I keep me phone and things I nick?" Duff stated casually.
"I...I guess I never really thought about it," Drakken admitted.
"So, finally off yer high horse there, ye bampot?" asked Duff.
Drakken smirked and sat back in his chair.
"Mm, still on my high horse, thank you," Drakken proclaimed. "Just calling."
Duff rolled his eyes and looked through the large screen as if sizing him up.
"Bored," Duff said with a smirk. His cocky expression outweighed Drakken's smug demeanor.
"Yes, very much," sighed Drakken.
"I was planning on playing a few morning rounds if ye care to join me," shrugged Duff.
"Is it going to be like that weekend after you, I, and Fist tried looking for that time totem thing?" asked Drakken skeptically.
"I make no promises I won't try to blow up yer little flying car if ye touch me clubs," Duff said with narrowed eyes.
"I still contend, I did not," argued Drakken.
"Rambling or flying?" asked Duff.
"I'll be there in a little over an hour," said Drakken as he got up.
"I'll feed Buttercup while ye tinker with yer flying scrap metal," said Duff.
"It is not—" The screen hung up. "All right, just for that...I'm beating him at golf."
Flower stopped playing with the jug to turn in his direction.
"Hey, I can beat him!" yelled Drakken. Flower made a rolling motion before vanishing down the back of his coat. "Good. Stay there. I could do without your sass today."
True to his statement, Drakken found himself flying over the green hills headed towards Duff Killigan's lair. He looked at the hover car with narrowed eyes. Of course he'd decided to repair the unpainted one, the barren patches from a grappling hook no doubt and probably a collision with a few buildings from a failed plan courtesy of Kim Possible and company. He'd repaired the damages, but the craft needed to be sanded and painted. He regretted letting Shego take their normal hover car. There would be at least one hour of Duff Killigan mocking its repairs despite the man himself not having one.
An explosion went off in front of him and he yelled and yanked the steering column. He glared towards the land where he could see the lair as he steadied the hover car. Drakken's eyes shot open as he watched Duff swing, exploding golf balls in a frenzy—not at him, but at hundreds of animated flowers similar to those back at his own lair. It took Drakken a few seconds to realize that those flowers were only animated when he and Flower were near for them to react. They were attacking Duff and his lair because he himself was nearby. Drakken snickered.
"Good flower," he breathed in glee. "See, my world takeover plan would have worked, flawlessly."
He felt a shiver up his spine from Flower before the petals came into his peripheral view. He looked at Flower trying to get away from his joyous devious thoughts and focused on calming the flowers. In the span of seconds, they all retreated from Duff and slid outside the edges of the golf course.
"Get tae, ye weeds!" snapped Duff as he swatted another ball in their direction.
He let out a yell as one of the vines yanked his golf club from him before it vanished.
"Give me back me nine iron!" yelled Duff as Drakken landed the hover car. "Ye see that! Now I got flowers attacking. First tin cans from space. Now this."
"These would be mine," smirked Drakken. "Apparently they're active when I'm near... I didn't even know they were still around outside my lair."
"I know they're yours... They were fine until now," he said, glaring at Drakken. "Well keep them off the green!"
Drakken raised a brow.
"They're active normally?"
"Eh, sometimes they move a bit, swat a few birds here and there. Usually just one or two. Never seen 'em like this though." Duff looked in confusion over Drakken's shoulder. "Ye still have that going on, then."
Drakken ignored him and looked at the flowers, making a mental note to get a soil sample before he left. Flower moved over his shoulder as a bent nine iron was tossed towards them, Flower catching it and handing it over to Duff.
"What am I supposed to do with this," grumbled Duff as Flower vanished. "Eh. Where did it go?"
"Spine," said Drakken casually. "Did you remodel?"
"Had to. Aliens carved up me course," shrugged Duff. "It ain't bad...but I finally got it proper soiled."
"I'll go park the hover car—"
"Ay, would ye look at that patchwork. Yer little plants chew it up on ye there, Flower Boy?" chuckled Duff.
"Are we starting the insults early then?" Drakken scoffed. He looked over at the flowers and smirked. "Keep in mind...I could make you have to redo your lawn all over again."
"If you make those things touch any inch of me course, we'll see how much they like Drakken-flavored fertilizer," threatened Duff. Drakken snickered.
—
It was halfway through the play that they had somehow turned to simply hitting exploding golf balls off the cliff instead. Drakken was pretty certain it was because every time Duff sunk a ball, a tiny flower would shove it out of the hole, and every time Drakken missed, a flower would pull the ball in. This had resulted in another one of Duff's clubs being broken in his rage at the little flowers, threats of weed killer following shortly thereafter.
"So," Duff asked as his swing sent an explosion soaring above them, "how's being all goody-good—"
"Neutral. We are neutral," snapped Drakken. "Don't associate me with the likes of Kim Possible."
"I wasn't gonna... Yer little flowers may have warded off space garbage...but yer no Kim Possible," scoffed Duff. "The lass has far more accomplishments."
Drakken glared as he aggressively swung.
"She doesn't have a medal," he whispered under his breath.
"Oh, stop yer bellyaching," Duff said as he grabbed another ball. "How's the whole neutral thing working out?"
"Great," beamed Drakken smugly. "I can make all the things I want and not a single question as to why."
"Is that so?" Duff smirked. "Remind me to give you more calls. What about Shego? Can't imagine her being neutral."
"She seems to be doing so just fine," Drakken stated.
"For now," Duff shrugged as he swung. "Till she gets bored."
Drakken's swing didn't send the ball too far as Duff's words sunk in. He wanted to argue that Shego was enjoying leisure around the lair, assisting in small tasks, relaxing... But his brow furrowed in thought. Shego didn't like being bored... He knew that very well. The only reason she'd even considered being neutral was because he'd asked, hadn't she? He let his shoulders slump as he tried to understand her motives. Surely, she had thought about it prior. At least their last capers seemed to suggest it. It was unlikely she simply caved because of him.
Or did she?
He couldn't fathom that being the answer, despite the fact they were now romantically involved. Drakken felt the smugness return as Duff continued to prattle on about the hilarity that would ensue once she got bored with him just making whatever he wanted.
"Be careful, or she'll trick ye into giving her new evil toys," snorted Duff. "Imagine her secretly imprisoning..."
Duff trailed off and looked uneasy before shaking his head.
"Something about that doesn't sit right," shuddered Duff. He looked at Drakken. "What's with the smug grin on yer ugly mug?"
"She's perfectly content being neutral thank you very much." Drakken swung another hit confidently. "Pfft, Shego doesn't find this mug ugly."
Duff rested his hand on the handle of his club and gave Drakken a questioning look. There was a hint of a smirk on his face.
"Ye two done with being daft and blind then?" snickered Duff. "About time. Couldn't have pulled yer head out yer arse when Fist could pay up the winnings."
"What?" asked Drakken. He was expecting more shock to rub in Duff's face.
"Oh please. Fist and I had a bet running for years even before yer kin's gathering," snickered Duff. "That only got more in on the bet."
"Why? Because she was my side-kick?" Drakken glared. "That's completely—"
Duff laughed and cut him off.
"...Oh please, ye never noticed? Like at Motor Boy's party. She was practically in yer lap. Nor was there anything 'neutral' about that little smooch ye two had. There wasn't that much alcohol in you two. Nearly everyone assumed—"
"Well assumptions were wrong!" snapped Drakken.
Duff raised a brow and Drakken grumbled under his breath.
"Even if we are together...now."
Duff shook his head with a slight teasing smirk.
"I knew ye weren't over yer crush."
Drakken felt his face grow hot and gave a grumble of garbled words before he found them.
"You all took bets, that is so...kiddish...childing...grr, you know what I mean," he hissed as Duff snorted.
"Ah, keep yer knickers undone." Duff rolled his eyes as he swung again. "I know yer ego says otherwise, but yer not that important to have everyone taking bets... Mostly yer cousin and Dementor...that one cheap guy—"
"Lucre."
"Yeah, him. He was convinced ye two were already knocking boots." Duff made another explosion.
"How lovely," glared Drakken as he grabbed another ball. "As I was saying... We are both content to be neutral and relish in its luxuries...which are many."
"Uh huh," Duff smirked.
Drakken wanted to throw the club out of sheer frustration at not being able to boast properly with Duff's lack of response. Instead, he swung hard and watched the ball hit a rock with a small burst of flames. He tried to think of something he was working on that would interest Duff enough to at least get him slightly riled up, but Duff wasn't exactly a villain of a select trade. He was more a villain for hire when needed, and Drakken couldn't figure out something that wouldn't be attempted to be stolen later for a high bidder. He was narrowing it down when he realized Duff was still talking to him.
"So, what ale finally made Shego cave?" Duff asked calmly.
It took Drakken a few seconds to comprehend his question.
"I'll have you know. There was no alcohol and I initiated it," Drakken scoffed.
"Heh. Looks like those little flowers of yours grew you some—"
"Well, this has been delightful—" Drakken's phone buzzing interrupted his anger. "Hold please— Hello?"
Drakken shoulders slumped at the voice that replied.
"Hey Cuz, finally got a signal. Seriously, these tomb things are terrible," came the crackling call of Motor Ed.
"Hello Eddie," sighed Drakken. He raised a brow. "Did you get sealed in a tomb?"
"Took a wrong turn... Seriously what's with all the—" It went silent.
"Eddie?" asked Drakken.
"Sorry, thought I saw an exit... Hey Drew, can you do me a serious solid?" asked Ed. Drakken pinched his nose in annoyance.
"What?" He already knew the favor judging by the breaking signal.
"Can you come get me?" There was a nervous chuckle near the end. "Seriously...it's dark in here."
"Well then you shouldn't annoy a person who can lock you in a tomb, now should you," said Drakken.
"Hey! She did not lock me in here... She went out and I seriously, like, forgot where the downstairs bathroom was," grumbled Ed. "Oh come on. I never ask you for favors."
"I can name several—"
"I have enough signal to call Aunt Estelle," threatened Ed. Drakken growled.
"Fine," he hissed.
"Right on! Seriously though... Avoid the jackals... They weren't fed today." Ed hung up and with a small ping, an address appeared on the small screen.
Drakken stared at the phone and took a deep breath.
"I apparently have to go release my cousin from Cleopatra's lair traps," Drakken informed Duff. "Thank you... Where are you going?"
"There is no way I'm missing an opportunity to get a look at her collection... Some of those would fetch a pretty fair price on market," grinned Duff.
Drakken narrowed his eyes as they walked to the hover car.
"If you are coming along, we are going to de-tomb Eddie," said Drakken firmly.
"Yer a right roaster if you think, I, a villain, am not going to swipe from another villain." Duff looked shocked. "Be neutral or what have ye all ye want, but don't tell me what to do."
Drakken scoffed.
"No. I mean... Just don't get cursed." Drakken hopped in the hover car and waited as Duff joined him.
"Oh, well...that's a fair point," shrugged Duff. Drakken pulled off into the air. "You know for finally getting some...yer still very tense."
"I am not tense!" snapped Drakken. "And that is none of your concern."
It was silent as Drakken gunned it over the water.
"So there is no knocking boots then," muttered Duff.
Drakken wondered at the ramifications of spinning and dropping Duff into the ocean.
There are no witnesses per se.
Drakken glared at Duff but let out a sigh.
Another time.
The trip out of the lab thus far had not been a fun day like Drakken had planned. Between the mocking from Duff and the teasing on the way to Egypt, then having to wander around another villain's booby trap laden tomb-lair to find his cousin...he didn't know why he was so surprised that he was currently running as he and Duff were chased by peeved jackals, their only warning of their pursuers being the metal clanking of the decorative golden collars the canines wore. Drakken saw a very tall wardrobe as they rounded a corner into another room.
Flower sprung forward and Drakken felt it wrap around himself. In a whirl or green and pink, he and Duff were placed swiftly on top of the high wardrobe cabinet, the canines growling and making a hollowed sort of yip and bark mixture.
"Hey, Drakken. How about using some of yer vines to get rid of the darn death dogs, aye?" snapped Duff.
Drakken's eyes shot open before glaring at the dogs.
"Nothing's happening," stated Duff as one nearly bit his foot before retracting it.
"I'm thinking," snapped Drakken.
He looked around the room they were in. There were cases of items on shelves and in containers. Jewelry adorned the walls in elegant, color-coded displays that seemed to be indications of eras. A large, emptied crate that looked to have been used to transport the very item they balanced on was nearby. Flower jetted outwards and above the biting jackals below to pull the cover away from the crate. Drakken looked at the vines and the canine teeth snapping, unsure of the crate's durability.
"Fine time for me to leave me balls in your flying tin can," grumbled Duff.
"Look for a net or something—"
Flower jetted forward and the jackals howled in alarm at the movement.
"Never-mind," smirked Drakken as the jackals yelped and growled as the vines corralled them into the crate. "Good work."
With a hefty slam the yelping was muffled.
"Did you just compliment yourself?" Duff questioned.
"I complimented Flower— I didn't see you do anything," retorted Drakken as he began to climb down.
"Couldn't just chuck them away earlier?" asked Duff as he too hopped off. "Would have been easier."
"Unnecessary," said Drakken. "We are fine—"
"Ahk, me kilt!" snapped Duff as he looked where a chunk was missing.
"Well, that could have gone unseen," cringed Drakken as he looked away. "Now to find Eddie."
"Who owes me a kilt," scoffed Duff. "Who has wild animals as guards—"
"Amy."
"Exactly, lunatics," Duff stated. "I have half a mind... Oh, would you look at all this stuff."
"Be careful Killigan... No telling what some of these might do." Drakken stepped away from a nearby table.
"Don't be daft... Not all things labeled 'curse' are... Some are just to scare ye." Duff rolled his eyes as he looked along the table.
Drakken crossed his arms as he looked around the room, attempting to remember which one of the four entry points they had run through. He tuned out Duff's chatter about items he knew others were hunting down for trades or money and carefully glanced at the doorways. His eyes drifted over some of the items where Duff had wandered. They appeared to be Roman or Greek items, looking wholly out of place in an Egyptian lair...though no more than the large death masks lined in gold along the African wall.
"Would be nice if she had maps in these rooms," grumbled Drakken.
A sudden sound of stone smashing made Drakken jump and nearly hit the shelves full of items, Flower using the wall as support being the only thing keeping him from a possible dangerous predicament. He braced himself with his hand in the space between the wall and an item encased in metal and glass. His eyes fell towards where another wall had split open, and Ed now stood looking around them.
"So that's what that did," hummed Duff as he removed his hand from a stone lever.
"Seriously, about time you showed up... Oh hey, Kilt Guy!" grinned Ed. "Haven't seen you since the rocking yacht club party.
"Yeah...ye owe me a new kilt. Yer hounds tore a chunk out of this one," stated Duff.
"Yeah, they can get like that... Seriously though...not hounds. They're some sort of extinct jackal breed." Ed made a dramatic mocking gesture when he continued as if quoting Cleopatra, emphasized further with the accent he faked. "'They're not hounds or common mongrels, Edward. They're magnificent historical creatures."
"Seriously?" asked Drakken.
"Seriously," sighed Ed.
"Extinct? Looked pretty alive to me," scoffed Duff.
There was a pause of silence as they all looked at each other before collectively answering.
"Amy."
"Eh, Cuz," Ed's eyes shot open as he looked to Drakken, "judging by the stories...I don't think you want a repeat."
"What?" Drakken followed Ed's gaze to where his hand rested.
...Even more closely to the metal and viewable glass-encased item he'd only glanced at before. His stomach sank and he retracted his hand as if an electrical current had shot through him. He felt a momentary surge of panic as he looked inside the glass. Perfectly placed on crushed blood-red velvet were the gauntlets. Their bronze color gleamed in the torch light of the lair, making them look far more ominous and dangerous then Drakken thought they needed. He crossed his arms and stepped swiftly to the center of the room, away from the tables or décor-laden wall.
He cleared his throat and looked towards his cousin.
"So, how'd you get locked in a tomb?" asked Drakken casually.
"Eh, riled up Cleo. Seriously, sometimes the babe can't take a joke," scoffed Ed as he looked at the floor before pulling a lever to open what looked like a dark pit. "I need an un-cursed rug."
"Excuse me?" asked Drakken. Duff tossed a random rug at Ed.
"I said...actually you know, this will work," smirked Ed as he laid it across the pit. "Seriously, no one step there. Now to find the other switches."
Drakken watched for a moment as Ed went to each doorway looking for a switch.
"Revenge?" asked Duff. Ed nodded. "I like it."
"So I assume the romance has fizzled," sighed Drakken as he avoided a rug being dragged by.
"No way!" grinned Ed as he placed the rug over another pit. "Seriously, Drew. Gotta keep the magic flowing... I need grease to make sure she slips, seriously. Two days in a tomb... A day in the pit ought to show her."
Duff leaned close to Drakken who shook his head at his cousin's antics.
"He's gonna be fed to those jackals," muttered Drakken.
"The woman's a nutter," Duff whispered. "Was he dropped as a child?"
"Thrown," corrected Drakken.
"Ah, makes sense. Had a cousin kicked by a goat once..."
"He bit me," Drakken glared.
Duff looked Drakken up and down before nodding.
"...That checks out," hummed Duff as he went back to looking at items. "Oi! Motor Boy, which one of these will she not notice missing?"
"Uh, well anything with a red sticker is a big 'Do Not Touch' thing, seriously," Ed spoke with a pained expression. "Especially the black crown thing... That was seriously one hell of a weekend... Seriously. Don't put that on."
"No intentions." Drakken crossed his arms tighter and took a half step away from that specific location. "I assume you will need to vacate the lair for your antics to work?"
"Yup," nodded Ed. "And feed the boys."
"I am your ride?" Drakken sighed.
"Uh, seriously Drew, obviously. If she sees my ride is gone, she'll know I'm out," snorted Ed. "Come on Cuz. Use that brain of yours... Pass me that rug."
Drakken looked at a rug to his left that had a yellow sticker on it. He assumed it meant caution. He shook his head.
"I can't touch that," stated Drakken firmly.
"Why?" asked Ed with a raised brow. "It's not red."
"Shego forbid me," Drakken spoke confidently, wondering if he could use this to get out of giving his cousin a ride even.
Somehow.
"...Since when do you listen to Green, seriously?" snorted Ed. "Pass it to me."
"Normally, her forbidding me would spite me to do so in retaliation. However, my track record is far more important to me at the moment." Drakken gestured vaguely towards the gauntlets on the wall. "Shouldn't they be buried in the ground or something?"
"Nah, the lead and glass apparently concentrate the energy." Ed scratched his head and shrugged. His brow knitted as he looked back at Drakken. "Okay, seriously, since when does Green have you whipped?"
"It has nothing to do with being whipped Eddie. I just don't like being controlled by objects, spirits, or fighting off strange anomalies I could have avoided," Drakken snapped. "And what do you mean...concentrated... Powering themselves?"
"Wait. Are you seriously afraid of Green Babe?" snorted Ed. "Lame, Cuz. I know she's a major powerhouse, but don't you have a plant thing now?"
"Her name is Shego and it's called respect," said Drakken.
"What?" asked Ed in confusion.
"They're dating now," Duff chimed in as he dug through jewelry on the table.
"Seriously!? You and Green?" Ed's eyes shot open. He raised a brow and smirked. "Mind control?"
"No!" yelled Drakken.
"Geesh, seriously, calm down. I was just checking on a bet." Ed rolled his eyes as he grabbed the rug himself. "For finally getting some action, you seriously need to mellow."
"They're not," Duff added as he held up a bracelet.
"Killigan!" snapped Drakken. He wondered how far the pit was to knock them both in and leave.
They're lucky I don't know my way out of this place.
"...Like...ever?" asked Ed casually. Duff shrugged.
"All right, we are off this topic. Can you just pick your cursed theft so we can leave!" snapped Drakken. "And are you done setting up traps? For what is only going to be a series of revenge antics, I'm sure."
"Apparently not," Duff continued. Drakken growled and restrained himself from acting on his thoughts. "Sad Fist technically won and doesn't know."
"Won?" asked Drakken as he contemplated throwing a dagger with a green sticker on it.
"Monkey Man laid his money down that you two had to leave villainy to seriously get any," shrugged Ed as he flattened out a rug.
"This one doesn't have a sticker." Duff held up the bracelet he'd been playing with. "Wonder— Oh."
Drakken's eyes shot open as he watched Duff's hand begin to turn a gray marbled color. Before Drakken could react, Ed had already sprung to turn a gemstone on the bracelet that faded the stone away from Duff's hand. They both looked at him with curiosity.
"Some things I found out not to touch," Ed waved his hand dismissively. "There might be a serious reason for the stickers...or not...seriously."
Drakken and Ed shared a glance before looking back at the bracelet that had been about to turn Duff to marble or stone.
"You know what I'm thinking?" asked Duff with a broad grin as he looked at it.
"Not very dangerous if it just clicks off," Drakken suggested.
"Seriously!? I thought the same thing," laughed Ed.
"No, ye— Grr. Fist," scoffed Duff as he held the bracelet up.
"He's already a statue," said Drakken.
Ed and Duff looked at each other and then towards Drakken.
"I think he's suggesting it might do the opposite, seriously worth a try," shrugged Ed. Duff nodded.
"Oh! Well yes, that might work." Drakken felt embarrassed it had taken him that long to figure out Duff's plan.
"Where's Monkey Man?" asked Ed. "Flight away?"
"Nah, unfortunately... Amy has taken the statue into possession," glared Duff. "Ye know she only beat me to getting him from his sea nap by a mangy hour... Buttercup is a wee baby. She can't travel that fast."
"Did she use some sort of sea creation to get to Fist?" asked Drakken.
"Who's Buttercup?" asked Ed. Drakken waved him off.
"She flirted with a deep-sea marine-biologist... He got it for her," said Duff in annoyance.
"Amy is quite the charming flirt," Drakken nodded. His eyes narrowed. "Poor dolt probably had no idea."
"Gotta dig a confident babe... She knows how to get things done," smirked Ed. "Seriously, women have the best weapon... I mean I have a serious—"
"Eddie!" yelled Drakken. Ed rolled his eyes. "Can you feed your canines so we can leave?"
"Are we breaking into animal monster babe's lair?" asked Ed.
Drakken and Duff shrugged and spoke at once.
"Aye, it's the only way."
"Not much of a choice."
Ed rubbed his chin.
"All right, I'll meet you two in a few minutes outside," said Ed as he stepped over one threshold and turned down a hallway.
"I'm gonna grab me some stuff," grinned Duff as he pulled a satchel from a pocket in his kilt.
"I'll be at the hover car— Gah!"
Drakken wasn't sure if he was terrified or embarrassed as he took a wrong step and found himself sliding down a dark stone slide. He knew he regretted leaving the lair and especially going to help out his cousin. But the processing of feelings and his regrets would have to wait. Panic, fear, and screaming had taken over in his journey.
Drakken wasn't sure how the day's occupations were a better alternative to going back to the lair and being bored... But as they crept through the back garden of DNAmy's home as the sun began to tint the horizon pink...he was contemplating turning around and finding out back in the safety of his home. He was only glad he wasn't the distraction. That was Ed's job. He heard the doorbell ring as he and Duff crouched beneath the window of what he assumed was the kitchen. A sudden thought occurred.
"What are the chances she has strange creature guards?" asked Drakken.
Duff shrugged.
"Ye have those vines, we'll be fine," replied Duff as he tried to slide the window open. "Like now."
Drakken glared.
"Is that why I couldn't wait in my hover car?" scoffed Drakken.
"Well...that and the threats of scampering off without us," said Duff.
"I thought I only said that in my head," grumbled Drakken.
He looked around them to the back door. There was a dog door, or what he hoped was a dog door. Knowing DNAmy it could be anything really. He hoped they didn't find out. He glanced over his shoulder as Flower came into view before darting through the dog door to unlock the primary one.
"Ye sure yer not going to go back to villainy? Think of all the new advantages ye have?" asked Duff.
"Neutral," hissed Drakken. Duff rolled his eyes. "Can we just go try that thing on Fist and leave? I still don't know why we just don't tell her this... Certainly she would be curious to see."
"We are not on the best of terms right now," said Duff as they began walking quietly through the large kitchen.
"You could have waited in the— Is that an Espresso Max?" asked Drakken. He detoured to a large appliance in the corner. "I think this is what Shego was talking about... It does look impressive."
"Oi. Drakken," hissed Duff. Drakken rolled his eyes and followed his friend down the hallway.
They could hear Ed's voice coming from the living room as they attempted to sneak past the archway and continue down the hall. Drakken was confused how they were going to get to the basement entrance to her lab. He glanced into the pink frilly living area. DNAmy was animatedly talking to his cousin...about the jackals. It was a very easy cover story, as it seemed confirmed that this was in fact where they came from.
"So Cleopatra wants more? She seemed pretty overwhelmed with six," said DNAmy. She giggled, "But I know how hard it is not to just want to cuddle all of them. Did she change her mind about my suggestion?"
"Eh...no," said Ed confidently. "Seriously, this is more like a surprise, you know? Her birthday is...ohm...this year."
Drakken rolled his eyes at his cousin's lack of actual knowledge.
"I suppose a month would be enough time. It's cutting it close." DNAmy tapped a finger to her lips in thought. "Before or after her birthday? I could try to have it ready on the twenty-seventh if you really need it for her birthday."
"It's in a month?" Ed asked. He cleared his throat. "On it should be fine."
"Drakken," hissed Duff. "Next time she looks towards her lab, we run."
Drakken raised a brow and looked at the door and then back at Duff.
"Kind of basic?" questioned Drakken. "Shouldn't we get Eddie to distract her so we can make it to the lab?"
Duff looked at him in confusion and then rolled his eyes.
"Ye really think she keeps him laying around the lab?" asked Duff. Drakken thought about it and sighed.
"We're going to her room, aren't we," grumbled Drakken. "I really think she and Fist both needed therapy."
"Don't we all," muttered Duff.
Drakken focused back on the conversation to look for an opening. The conversation had turned to discussing his cousin's hair...which sent all sorts of red flags flying.
"Seriously, all natural all the way," grinned Ed. "Gotta let the mane breathe, you hear?"
"It's so much like...a lion," giggled DNAmy. Drakken didn't have to hear the next sentence to know where this was going. "Say Edward... Are you partial to cats?"
She looked towards the lab which Drakken imagined sealed her thoughts of some sort of lab experiment she wanted to work on involving his cousin. He took the moment to sprint down the hall with Duff, who blindly began opening doors slowly to peek inside. Drakken followed suit and hoped no monstrosity was behind them. He glanced inside a modest-looking office with a purple shade on the walls before closing that door. Another room appeared to be a guest room with elegant curtains and large plush pillows in teal. Drakken closed the door and paused.
"This house is a perfect lair," he whispered. "No one coming in here would think that a lab of genetic experimentation was below it."
"I think the flower garden and pond out back made that clear," said Duff as he opened a door. "Hiding in plain sight... Makes sense ye think... She doesn't want anyone knowing what she's doing. Doesn't want people to know she's a villain ye know... Or a mad woman."
Drakken opened a door to a small storage room and stared while he contemplated this thought.
"Her family could come over and be none the wiser," continued Drakken.
"She does have a brother who visits," hummed Duff as he opened a door. "Ah, there we have it."
"How do you know— Oh...no," Drakken trailed off as they entered the room.
In the span of a few seconds, several things occurred that Drakken would hopefully soon forget. The brilliant pink and purple room with a massive canopy bed was the most normal thing in the room. The thousands of cuddle buddies surrounding it in cases were more than a little alarming, but not so much as the shrine-like creation surrounding Monkey Fist's stoned body. All of this was a lot to take in, so much so that he didn't even realize Duff had casually picked up the statue and was beginning to leave the room. This was more because he had found the reason for the doggy door.
"So we're taking him... What are ye looking at?" asked Duff. He followed Drakken's gaze to the bed.
What looked like a simple large dachshund curled up on the bed quickly showed DNAmy's genetic manipulation as it stretched to look at them. Several dachshund heads appeared as it got up, revealing a long furry centipede body. The two men stood taking in the creation the same way it did them. Drakken took a step back as eyes shone from the darkness of the room of other unseen creations. The dachipede monstrosity raised its multiple hackles before it charged at a speed that was only possible from its insect counterpart.
Drakken didn't know why neither screamed, because he knew he wanted to. Instead they ran, nearly tripping each other to hurry back out the back door. Duff tripped on a chair and without command, Flower grabbed both Duff and Fist as Drakken sprinted out the back door and closed it, both men out of breath and wide eyed as they leaned against the door once Flower put Duff down.
"What the hell was that?" Drakken's voice was labored and shrill. "Was it on the ceiling?"
"Why did it have so many heads?" shuddered Duff. "Who makes that...why?"
"I know what my nightmares for the next week are going to be replaced with," breathed Drakken.
"What were the other eyes?" Duff asked with a deep exhale.
"I don't want to know. I'm just glad..." Drakken trailed off as the dog flap opened to reveal the heads popping out.
"Gads! Don't just stand there." Duff ran through the garden. "Run!"
Drakken watched the thing chase after Duff before deciding to run the opposite way and jump the pond to get over the small fence. He yelled as something massive in the water that looked like a cross between a koi fish and a crocodile snapped at him. The moment he cleared the fence after tripping into some mud along its edge, he did a variant of a crawl and run as he ran along the fence edge to get back to the hover car, tripping on the end of his coat as he did so and kneeing a rock as the centipede creation barked through the fence. A glowing pink collar and light along the fence ground showed the creature's inability to cross. Drakken didn't care about formalities. He just ran.
Duff was breathing heavily and clutching Monkey Fist's statue with wide eyes as Drakken reached the hover car. They had parked it a little way off behind some large brush, which Drakken regretted. He finally let himself breathe as he leaned his head against the cool metal. He forced himself to climb into the hover car and shove Duff aside before slumping in the seat.
"I'm never coming back here again," breathed Duff. "She's a complete rocket."
Drakken blocked out the series of slurs Duff was rambling as the statue fell on him. He had to stop himself from yelling at the statue as if it were not just that. He shoved it over as they could hear Ed's voice now outside. Drakken and Duff slid down, Flower pulling the statue with them.
"Seriously, sounds like a great idea," yelled Ed towards who they assumed was DNAmy as he left. "But keep on the down low."
"My lips are sealed, handsome!" came her giggling voice before a door shut.
Drakken peeked over the dash as Ed came around the bushes with a wide grin and carelessly hopped in.
"Man, I hope Cleo likes cats," snorted Ed. "Seriously, she wouldn't let up. Eventually I switched the jackal pup for those exotic weird hairless cats... She didn't seem— What's the statue doing here? Seriously?"
"I nabbed it before the thing attacked us," glared Duff as he opened the glove box and pulled out the bracelet.
There was an exchange of understanding between Drakken and Ed before Drakken narrowed his brow.
"This is why we couldn't ask her... We were kidnapping," said Drakken. "We could have avoided all that chaos if that wasn't the plan."
"Seriously... There is about to be chaos if we don't book it. That babe's gonna notice a missing giant paperweight," said Ed as he hit the start button on the hover car.
"Eddie, this is my— Eee!" Drakken was thrown back into the seat as Ed gunned it.
They'd gone a few miles over open fields before Drakken shoved Ed aside to take over, which mostly entailed putting it on autopilot and glaring at his current company. Duff was fitting the bracelet on Monkey Fist while Ed looked smug.
"Seriously, she was totally feeling the Motor Ed!" he bragged. "I mean I know I'm hard to resist, but it's nice to be reminded, seriously."
"Seriously," scoffed Drakken. "She was going to cross you with a lion."
Drakken watched Ed's facial expression process the conversation he'd only heard the start of before speaking.
"...Can be both," he said confidently.
"Yes, well. I'm not sure how irresistible you'd be as a sphinx," Drakken rolled his eyes.
"Don't be jealous I'd make a better one than you, Cuz. Seriously." Ed crossed his arms and looked over the side of the craft.
Drakken felt Duff lean towards him.
"How far did ye actually throw him?" he whispered.
"Clearly not far enough." Drakken shook his head. "Is that what you two talked about... Her turning you into one of her creations?"
"Among other things," Ed shrugged. He grinned. "I found out Cleo's birthday is August twenty-seventh."
"She said a month Eddie," sighed Drakken. "It's August now. How do you not know her birthday?"
"...I forgot a month? Seriously, not again." Ed kicked his boots up on the dash and shook his head. "Oh please, like you seriously know Green's."
"November second," Drakken smugly retorted.
"What year?" asked Ed.
"Nice try," scoffed Drakken. "Not about to give you that fuel."
"She'd kill ye?" asked Duff. Drakken nodded. "How do ye forget a month?"
"Must have been that new rocket feature I've been building. Missing a few key parts but it's gonna seriously smooth sail when I'm done," grinned Ed. "So how's Monkey Man?"
"Eh, waste. The cursed thing's a dud," snarled Duff as he shoved the bracelet in the glove box."
"You put that in your bag of stolen stuff," snapped Drakken. "That's not staying in this vehicle."
"Whoa Cuz, chill." Ed held his hand up and made a calming motion. "Seriously, are you that afraid of Green?"
"No," stated Drakken, "I just value not being turned to stone."
Duff and he sighed as they looked at Monkey Fist.
"Right," muttered Ed as he looked over Drakken's dashboard. "Hey, it's like eight in the morning in Go City isn't it?"
"Why would I know that?" asked Drakken. He narrowed his eyes. "Why would you care?"
"Seriously? Their science museum has the parts I need for my ride," he shrugged. "We have to fly over it either way we go for the three of us... We could grab some breakfast. Seriously I'm starved."
"I am not helping you rob Go City," snapped Drakken.
"Another Green, rule?" scoffed Ed.
"No...mine," Drakken growled. "I am neutral Eddie. I am not helping you with a felony... I'm still annoyed at this kidnapping we weren't all privy to. As for Shego... Honestly she'd probably be appreciative of it."
"We did not kidnap!" yelled Duff.
"Yeah, seriously Cuz... I think in a criminal case...it's trespassing and theft at best. That's like...a fine," Ed shrugged. "Seriously. Come on... Can we at least stop through and grab food? I hear they have this seriously mega Bueno Nacho there with the best breakfast burritos. Seriously...come on."
"Technically it is our lunch and I didn't eat breakfast," chimed in Duff. "I could go for something."
"Fine," sighed Drakken. "But no stealing and no making a scene."
"Drakken, pal, yer the one known for scenes," grimaced Duff. Drakken glared.
"There is footage online of you beating an audience with clubs because someone sneezed," stated Drakken. Duff glared.
"Those are still up then, ay," he muttered to himself as he crossed his arms and glared. Ed snorted. "What are ye laughing at Motor Boy? There's a video of ye flying into a police car all over the net."
"Hey! Seriously. That was Green's scene. Not mine," snapped Ed.
"A well-deserved one," said Drakken. Ed glared. "You're lucky she was in a good mood before you ticked her off."
Duff raised a brow.
"He called her an accessory," Drakken confirmed.
"Oh," Duff's eyes shot open before they narrowed. "Aye, ye should have thrown him harder. Or at least she should have."
Drakken nodded as he took over driving so he could hit the high speed and get the chaotic day over with.
Drakken had never been more grateful for just how ignorant and excluded Go City was from the rest of the world; there was no way he would want anyone to remotely recognize him in that moment. More than anything he wanted to get back to the hover car and just leave his company there, but something told him that was a bad idea. He vaguely remembered Shego informing him of her never wanting either of them to go there, and he had assumed it was due to her past. Now he realized there was more to it.
The Underground.
If there had been a better name for the villain bar handout in Go City, it would have been 'Rotting Garbage.' For some reason, he had blindly agreed to going there after their late lunch/breakfast meal... He blamed feeling content from eating, which he regretted now due to the scent of the place they had walked into. It was dark, and dingy. The lights flickered in some parts and were completely out in others. Stains littered the ground, their removal having been long given up on he was sure. The coppery mildew scent was faint but still there, pulling at his stomach. It was surprisingly crowded for it being morning in Go City, but somehow...he wasn't surprised.
The sound of chatter and low voices over a faded broken-sounding jukebox was still not enough to drown out the squeaking sound coming from his left as they headed to the bar. He narrowed his eyes to where Monkey Fist's statue was being wheeled on a skateboard along with them. After breakfast when they had returned to the hover car to see the statue covered in graffiti...it was best to take it with them... Or so Drakken had been told as Duff and Ed returned with a skateboard of which he didn't care to ask the source.
"What a dump," breathed Drakken.
"Well, it's called The Underground, seriously. What do you expect?" asked Ed as they reached the bar.
There was a sound of running, and the bartender who had been approaching them was shoved aside as a familiar woman then stood in front of them. Her delighted expression was foreign to him and by the looks of it, to all the other patrons. Drakken raised a brow at her familiar face.
"Yes, and it's filled with trash. How can I help you three?" she asked.
"Aye, yer the Villain's Inn lass?" asked Duff. "What a relief they have good drinks that don't taste like piss in here."
"Yes! Seriously, give us some liquor," grinned Ed.
Drakken nodded as her familiarity came back: the head bartender, Gina, from the Villain's Inn. His eyes narrowed at this for a second, remembering that Macy or Maisie had replaced her upon her leaving. Images of Devious Shark and Dr. Botox flooded his mind at this; a reminder of the conversation he and Shego had just had days prior. He and Shego's talk had in fact made him wonder just how elaborate their plan had actually been.
"Dr. Drakken?" her voice cut his thoughts. "Usual? Peppermint patty?"
Drakken pulled himself away from his brooding and cleared his throat.
"Ah, yes," said Drakken. He watched as Ed and Duff looked around before leaning closer and whispering, "Without the peppermint schnapps."
"Chocolate milk then?" asked Gina. She nodded. "Got it."
"Would ye be a dear, Gina, and get me some cleaner?" asked Duff as he indicated to Fist.
"So this is where Shego came from." Ed gave a low whistle. "If her villains smelt as bad as this place, I'd seriously bail too."
"What?" asked Duff. "Shego is from Go City?"
Drakken looked as their drinks and cleaner were placed in front of them before realizing this was not a topic he should promote where Shego most likely still had enemies. Duff began to clean the paint and what looked like mysterious kiss prints off Monkey Fist. Drakken waited for Gina to go clean tables it seemed as she held her own cleaning supplies as she stepped from behind the bar. Drakken's eyes glanced at a hooded figure on the other side of Duff and then to where a large green light shone almost blindingly which only increased the effect of the smell and noise.
"Shh," Drakken waved his hand. "Listen, last time we came here, she was adamant about hiding her identity. I don't think she wants her name mentioned either."
"Seriously?" Ed's eyes went wide as he looked at the door. "I think I know why?"
"Why?" Drakken followed his gaze and froze. "Oh I could have lived my whole life without this."
"There's more in multi-colors over there," Ed snorted as he looked to his right. He grinned and leaned on Drakken who hid his face. "Seriously...there are Shego hookers up in here."
"I should have stayed at the lair," Drakken groaned, suddenly wishing he'd gotten something stronger than chocolate milk. "Can we leave?"
"Are you kidding!" laughed Ed. "Seriously? And miss an opportunity to harass Green later? Never."
"He seems rather resolved to have her be his end," said Duff as he got most of the paint off Fist. "I don't get the multitude of colors."
"Oh, no they're seriously like superheroes or something around here," Ed informed. "So like...I get it. In Vegas, there's loads of workers who seriously look like local celebs. More to charge for."
"This is enlightening and horrifying," muttered Drakken. "Finish your drinks or I am leaving you both here."
"That one looks the best," said Duff as he looked past Drakken and followed Ed's indication. "Her hair's too green but she could be a dead ringer."
"Whatchya think Cuz?" Ed nudged him and Drakken glared.
"I am in some form of hell, that's what I think," he hissed.
"A year ago, this would have been heaven and you know it, seriously... Lighten up," snorted Ed. Drakken felt his face grow hot and he could feel Flower up his spine.
"I don't want to be here and the last thing I want to do is judge which hooker looks most like my girlfriend," he growled. The cloaked person moved a few seats away. Drakken lowered his voice. "Okay?"
"Ay, we told ye. The one flirting with the guy in the cape," said Duff dismissively.
"Does he have a bird in here?" asked Ed. "Whoa, seriously major health code violation. Pfft. Villain's Inn doesn't even allow Pyro Pete in without checking his flamethrower now, seriously."
"They had to redecorate four times in a year because of it," Duff added. "Honestly... Shocked he's even allowed in."
Drakken regrettably looked towards the multi-colored attired group in the shadows. There was in fact a great resemblance of the woman to Shego, though she looked older and far too thin to be healthy. Drakken hadn't looked to see this, but the bird that they had mentioned. A familiar looking thin man in a heavy cloak was leaning on the wall talking to the woman in a clear indication of solicitation. The name came slower than the hooked nose registered: Aviarius. Drakken cringed at the thought of this scene leading elsewhere, wondering if casually destroying a lair a second time for no obvious reason could be justifiable.
"That's Aviarius... Bird villain," scoffed Drakken. "Half these so-called super villains in here never have an aspiration greater than taking over town square."
"Half can't spell aspiration," came Gina. "More drinks?"
"Yes," said all three.
"Wait, is this one of those cities where every criminal fancies themselves a super villain 'cause they got a fun name?" asked Duff. Drakken nodded. "Och come on, let's make a scene then... Half of them probably never heard of Global Justice."
"Seriously. At least we've been featured on global 'most wanted' lists... Bet they've never even been a public enemy," scoffed Ed. "I say we go get our stuff and come back and show 'em some ropes."
"Let's not," grumbled Drakken as he drank his chocolate milk. "Last thing I want to deal with is Team Go and explaining that you two just wanted to show off."
"We could have a villain party," grinned Ed under his breath. "Here in Go City... Torment all these idiots. Seriously. Come on, it would be great. Every villain comes through here at some point in their past, right? Seriously, let's shame them all."
"Hard pass," said Drakken. "In fact, we should leave and pretend we never set foot here."
"Every villain, ye say?" asked Duff. "I never heard of this place."
"Nah it's an old thing," continued Ed. "Back in the seriously notorious villain days. This place was happening... They all came through here...worked here...robbed here. Learned some serious major tricks and trades...then bailed."
"I did hench work around here when I was younger," interjected Drakken. He shook his head. "All right, let's get going. We were just stopping for breakfast, remember?"
"Nah, that was the die-off Cuz. I'm talking serious old school like back with crime bosses and stuff. Seriously dark history," continued Ed. "I'm sure there's some great lairs around here... Remember Cuz? Seriously, think of the old forgotten tech."
"How ye figure?" asked Duff. "Some price catchers maybe?"
"Oh for sure," said Ed. "We should make a day of it and go looking—"
"No," Drakken whined. "We should leave."
"Seriously, relax. Go look at Shego hookers," Ed waved Drakken off. Drakken moved his hand quickly to his neck as he felt Flower ready to attack.
"How do you know all this?" asked Duff. Drakken stopped it.
"Okay, that's enough... Eddie is nosy that's all. Can we please leave?" Drakken meant to sound demanding but it came out as a whine.
As he looked towards his cousin, he saw over his shoulder again to where Aviarius had not departed, but the woman was not talking to a different familiar face. Drakken's eyes narrowed at the other man attempting to get the woman's particular brand of attention—a thin, slender man with light hair who fueled Drakken's memory of Shego and he's recent discussion. He let his hand fall away as Flower reacted towards this visual. Ed hit the ground as his chair was yanked out from under him and whipped in the direction of the face.
"Dollmaker," hissed Drakken.
"Who...? What— Cuz!" yelled Ed as the chair whirled past him.
The chair hit its target, and no one seemed fazed save for a few of the women sprinting away and stepping over the man downed by the chair. Drakken wasn't even sure what he was planning on doing other than a threat at the very least. Before he could take another step, his plans were interrupted by a series of events that occurred in a split second. His eyes locked with the man's who, to Drakken's delight, looked fearful. Then he heard his name. Not from Ed or Duff or even Gina the bartender.
"Heroes!" came a yell. His eyes shot to Aviarius who had let out an alert whistle. "Bail!"
All at once there was movement of people scurrying and sprinting.
"Screen!" was another yell and the place erupted in a cloud of green gas.
The visuals blurred and in an instant he felt Ed grab his arm and pull him back behind the bar. With a flurry of movement, the fog vanished as a door was closed. Drakken coughed the itch from his throat from whatever chemical had been unleashed, slightly dizzy as he attempted to clear his airways.
"Told you," Duff coughed. "You make more scenes."
"I had a bone to pick," hissed Drakken. His hand grabbed the door.
"Seriously, Cuz. Whoever your beef was with ran like the rest of the cowards," coughed Ed. "Where are we?"
They looked around the dark room.
"You dragged us here," snapped Drakken. His eyes still glaring at the door.
"Hey, we followed her," said Duff as he took a deep breath and stumbled. "Too soon."
Drakken looked towards Gina who was opening up a trap door and clearing her own throat.
"That's one of Gardner and Sprout's new smoke screens," she grumbled. "I can't wait to be back at the Inn. At least there I can ban and threaten people. Take this route out. It comes up behind the dumpster in the parking lot. It's gonna be chaos to take a different exit now that they all think someone's after them."
"What?" asked Drakken as he headed towards the hatch.
"Go City isn't that dense to not know about a global alien invasion," responded Gina. "Just blind until someone says something. But hey, thanks for getting my last few days off for me. No one will be back till Friday."
"Way to go Cuz, can't take you anywhere, seriously," teased Ed. Drakken glared and rolled his eyes. "All right, fine. Let's just go. Seriously, you're such a stick in the mud."
"Nice seeing you all," sighed Gina as she closed the hatch behind them.
"It smells worse down here," grumbled Duff as he hauled Fist over his shoulder and smacked Ed.
"Ow! Watch it, this is a small space, seriously," Ed sneered as he began climbing the ladder to a port a few feet away.
Drakken crossed his arms and waited his turn. His eyes darted around the small area as he felt uneasy. Knowing Dollmaker was still out meant that Global Justice never caught up when Botox and company escaped. There was heightened unease running through him as he quickly pulled out his phone and clicked on Shego to see her location was now in Spain. He looked at Duff attempting to haul the statue and Ed complaining about the hatch. Drakken swiftly hit the call button and waited.
"Hi," came the relieved sigh of Shego. "I was just about to message you I'll be back tonight. This day has been...more than enough."
Drakken felt the tension slightly fall away at this. He opened his mouth to rant about his newly learned fact but stopped himself.
"Spa didn't go well?" he asked instead.
"You have no idea." There was a tired chuckle from her end. "I have to go, see you later."
Drakken ended the call and stared at the phone, relieved and also curious now why Shego was in Spain. Though he couldn't talk; he'd been everywhere but Greece that day himself.
"Are ye staying?" came Duff's voice from above.
"Seriously, he lectured us about wanting to go," came a sigh from Ed.
Drakken narrowed his eyes as he climbed the ladder. He was in fact dumping them both at Ed's lair, if not in the closest marsh field he could find.
Should have never left the lair.
Drakken jumped out of the hover car and groaned as he did so. The light in the sky was gone due to the time zones he had flown through that day. He felt strangely jet lagged. The dizziness was probably both from the chemical cloud and this, but he felt sluggish and tired, yet strangely alert. It was an odd feeling he couldn't place, and his skin felt warm as he walked across the patio, as if the endless sun of the day had infused into his skin. He carelessly tossed his coat on a chair as he welcomed the cool night breeze of Greece. The scent of The Underground had yet to leave him and he was annoyed at not being able to smell the salt air. He watched the flowers hanging in the pool as he walked past it.
"Don't get dirt in there or Shego will do some pruning," he snickered.
He flopped on the chair near the pool and kicked off his boots, deciding on a small break before heading in to change and possibly attempt sleep. It had been a long day and his mind was swirling with images and thoughts that were moving so fast he couldn't narrow one down to focus on. Instead he fixated on the stars and the sound of Aviarius letting off a 'hero' warning, then on what had transpired after leaving The Underground.
He rolled his eyes at the memory of him getting gas while the other two had wandered off to get air, or so he'd been told. The last thing Drakken had wanted to deal with was an armed robbery of a gas station and Shego's brothers...and yet he had. Drakken narrowed his eyes.
He didn't like the label of hero and yet...he'd clothes-lined the robber. Well, Flower had... And Drakken had been more than glad that Team Go had been called away before engaging with him... He may have hid in the hover car to avoid this...but it was a relief. He grumbled under his breath and shook his head. That had only been until Duff and Ed had returned with the stolen parts Ed had needed.
"Should have known why Eddie was being so specific about getting fuel in that location," he groaned.
Drakken stood up and stretched. His skin still felt hot.
"Why— Ah!" Drakken yelped as the vines by the pool yanked him in. "Are you kidding me!"
He sputtered out the water as he was doused in it. It took him a few seconds as he shoved his bangs out of his face and seeing Flower floating calmly in the water to realize his skin felt better. Apart from the two glasses of chocolate milk and a single water at breakfast...he had not drunk anything else since he'd left two mornings ago. His hot skin from the extended day of sunlight with no water was dehydration. He sighed and was about to climb out to go get more water when a jug was placed near his lip. Drakken rolled his eyes and looked towards the lair. His eyes narrowed as he swore he saw the tiny blue flower near Shego's window moving frantically as if giving orders to the others.
He sunk into the water before shrugging it off and tossing his undershirt somewhere on the patio. A swim didn't seem like such a bad idea after his long day. He felt his head stop racing as he floated in the water—not completely, but enough for him to think about Go City. It made him uneasy how casually he and Shego had both neglected to look into it. He now had access to certain means, or at least a few phone calls could have confirmed...and yet it never occurred to him.
His musings were ended by sound.
"You have swim trunks," came a small chuckle as Shego sat at the edge of the pool, bare feet visible where her legs crossed under her. She looked as exhausted as him.
"Yes, but your little hench-flower seems to have ordered a coup because of my lack of water," he said as he swam over to her. "And I didn't feel like going to change. Bad day?"
"Long day," she sighed, and leaned on one arm to look at him. "But seeing your scattered attire...seems like you had one."
"I went out—" Drakken began.
"I know," she hummed. "Some curious locations I might add."
Drakken raised a brow.
"Do you have a tracking device on me?" He smirked at her shrug.
"Naturally," she responded and held up her phone. "I mean, we both do."
"Still saying...chip might be easier." He watched as she shoved her phone aside. "More reliable."
"Another topic, another time." Shego shoved his bangs out of his face. He felt warm again. "I'm honestly too done with today to care why you were in Go City... Do you want to watch a movie?"
Drakken wanted to tell her what he'd learned in Go City, but her hand still messing with his hair shoved that thought aside.
"That sounds like a great idea." He rested on the ledge of the pool and smiled at her.
Shego yawned and he watched her seemingly hesitate before she spoke.
"What are the chances we can just watch it in your room instead of the living room?" she asked cautiously. Drakken wondered why she had hesitated. "Just in case I fall asleep... Couch isn't that comfy."
"Pretty good, I'd say," said Drakken. "I don't know how long of a movie I can get through without falling asleep myself."
"Good. It's settled then." She raised a brow. "Your flower friends aren't going to come barging in throughout the night, are they?"
"I think you mean your flower friends. Your little precious Peri is the one who ordered me to be tossed in the pool, remember?" Drakken snorted.
"Then you didn't drink enough water." She narrowed her eyes. "Going to have to set alarms on your phone then am I? Geesh, you'd think a grown man would remember not to die."
"I can remember...Wait...did you order this?" asked Drakken with wide eyes. "That I am to be watered if I don't drink?"
"No... Creative expression... This is on you." She indicated to the flowers and the pool. "I simply reminded them to make sure you get water... So...what would you have done?"
"...I would throw someone into a pool," he smirked as he looked at his flowers.
"Exactly—"
"So would you," Drakken cut in. Shego snorted.
"Naturally," she shoved him slightly. "I'm going to go change out of these ruined clothes. Meet you in ten minutes?"
"Ruined? They look fine." Drakken looked at the burgundy top and jeans, though there was discoloring to the top of the outfit.
"Uhg, there's a stain on the back, the jeans are all torn and unraveling—" He cut her off mid-rant as his arms grabbed her waist. "Drakken!"
He knew he might have possibly ruined the evening's plans, but he was more interested in getting even for her apparent orders. He yanked her into the pool with a large splash. He laughed as he let her go and waited for green. It didn't come, but her sputtering and narrowed eyes showed her annoyance at his antics. He hastened an explanation, though the smug expression on his face remained.
"You've had me thrown into water twice now," he gestured around them.
"Yeah, well next time it might be over the railing," she sputtered as she shoved her hair out of her face.
Drakken watched her eyes roll as she dismissively shook her head and looked at him. There was no bite behind her words and he could see the corner of her lips twitch. He took this as a cue that there was no anger under the annoyance, but slight amusement. He moved back towards her.
"A very doubtful threat," he hummed. Shego smiled deviously.
"You think so, huh?" she asked as his arms wrapped around her waist again. "You sure about that? Wrong day...wrong time... Could be risky."
"Hmm... I'll take the risk." He pulled her closer to him.
"Good to—"
Drakken cut her off with a kiss. He didn't need a verbal go-ahead to do so. Any momentary doubt he may have had fell away as she kissed him back with the same energy before pulling away to give him a smug and curious look.
"Look at you, twice in one day with the action," she taunted. "First this morning and now this. Should spend more days away, huh? Should I expect this to continue?"
"Night's still young isn't it?" he grinned.
Shego's brow shot up and he saw the flush across her face in the lights of the patio. Drakken was confused by this until he realized where they were going to watch a movie—or had planned to.
"That's not what I meant... Not at all... I ohm...meant..." He pulled away from her and felt his face grow hot. "I have no plans—"
She covered his mouth with her hand and snickered.
"Calm down there, pal," she sighed. "I would hope you'd be smoother than to not immediately panic if that was what you were implying."
Drakken pulled her hand away from his mouth.
"I would also hope so." Drakken felt his face darken. "I ohm...no... I am not— Couch preferred after this?"
"Pfft, nope. I have already mentally claimed which of your pillows I am stealing for the movie." She sighed. "Well since someone decided to include me in their swim... Meet you in twenty minutes? Don't forget the popcorn."
Drakken watched her head inside after ringing her hair out near the door. He sighed only to be smacked by Flower who had still been lounging in the water. Drakken glared at it and smacked it back.
"Now you smack me... Where was that a few seconds ago," he grumbled. He sighed and slid out of the water. "Hope you have had enough— Hey!"
Drakken was pulled back into the water.
He grumbled as he held his breath and sat under the water and watched Flower swirl around him.
Maybe the phone alarms aren't such a bad idea.
I think its time for a "relaxing" spa day!