Friday: July 20, 2012 3:45 P.M.

I got back in my car after picking up the present that Randy and I were getting for Michelle's baby shower. I had my day carefully planned out. I was going to pick up the gift, go to my therapy, and then buy groceries before heading home to cook dinner for me and Randy. Before starting my car to leave to head to therapy, I decide to check my phone. I notice I have one voicemail. I go to listen to the voicemail.

Dr. Sullivan: "Hi, Marissa, it's Dr. Sullivan. Sorry to call so last minute, but I have a family emergency. We're going to have to cancel our therapy session today. My apologies. I'm going to schedule our next appointment for this time next week. I'll call your house phone too, so I'm sure to get this message to you. See you next week."

The voicemail ends. It had ruined my whole day, and I had a huge situation on my hands. That voicemail was from over twenty minutes ago. She mentioned calling my house phone, and Randy is at the house right now. I still hadn't told him about being in therapy. This wasn't how I wanted him to find out. I quickly called Chelle.

Chelle: "Hello?"

Me: "Sorry to bother you, but I have a huge problem."

Chelle: "What's going on?"

Me: "My therapist called last minute to cancel my session. She left a voicemail on my cell phone, but she also said that she was going to call my house phone and…"

Chelle: "Randy is at the house and doesn't know yet. Did I get that right?"

Me: "Yeah…I'm going to be in deep trouble with him for this."

Chelle: "Yeah, you will."

Me: "What do I do?"

Chelle: "My best bet would be kiss his ass a bit and hope he's in a good mood."

Me: "You're probably right. I'll pick up some steaks for dinner while I'm at the grocery store. That's his favorite dinner. I'm going to hang up now. Wish me luck."

Chelle: "Good luck. Call if you need anything. Bye."

Me: "Bye."

I sigh as I end the call. "Randy isn't going to be happy with me."

I walked in the house with grocery bags. Randy immediately came over and started putting groceries away, but he didn't say a single word. I follow him into the kitchen to put away groceries.

"I bought steaks for dinner." I say quietly.

Randy nods. "I see that. It's my favorite dinner."

"I know."

Randy doesn't say anything and puts the rest of the groceries away. I glanced at him and followed him into the living room.

Randy went straight to the house phone and pressed a button. I knew he was about to play the voicemail from Dr. Sullivan.

Dr. Sullivan: "Hi, Marissa, it's Dr. Sullivan. Sorry to call so last minute, but I have a family emergency. We're going to have to cancel our therapy session today. My apologies. I'm going to schedule our next appointment for this time next week. See you next week."

I felt tears in my eyes. I felt horrible. This is not the way I wanted him to find out.

"How long?" Randy asks, with a clearly upset tone.

"About two months." I whispered.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I've been embarrassed about the fact that my personal problems have gotten to the point where I needed to go to therapy."

"I would've been nothing but supportive over this. Does anyone else know?"

"Chelle and Ryse but that's only because I had to do a session over the phone when I was with them in Tampa. Plus, Chelle has been on my ass about telling you about it."

"I see. Remember how you told me that it hurt to hear about my suspension from someone else? I think I understand now."

"I really wanted to tell you about it. I just didn't know how I was going to be able to do that."

Randy wiped a tear from my cheek. "I'm not mad. I'm just a little upset that you didn't say anything to me because I thought you'd be comfortable enough with telling me about something like this."

"I understand."

Randy held me close. "You're amazing to me. I love you, Rissa. You mean everything to me. If you're going to be going to therapy for a while, I'll be supportive."

"Thanks."

"I know probably better than anybody else what you've been going through. It's rough, Rissa. Do what you need to do."

"When we argued over your suspension, I said something that I probably should've not said."

"And what was that?"

"I made the comment about not having kids because I can't trust you. I shouldn't have said that."

"Don't apologize for that. I deserve that. I screwed shit up. We both may have not told each other about certain things, but I deserved that. You had a personal reason. I affected our schedules and income among other things. I deserve to lose some of your trust. I'm going to bust my ass to earn it back, but I think you had a point. We shouldn't be trying to bring a child into this world if I'm not being fully trustworthy. We should wait a while before we consider going down that path again. Even if you were to lose your Divas Championship soon, I want you to be able to fully trust me before we try again. I want you to get through your therapy without any extra stress, which the pregnancy might bring you."

"This is a hard conversation to have, but I see your point. We already have a lot to deal with. Plus, it's not like we don't have a kid. I just think it's not the time to bring in another one."

"I agree." Randy kisses my forehead. "We need to work on us for a little while first. Eventually, we'll get back to trying to have a kid."

"Okay. We can work on us. I've got a lot going on anyway."