Chapter 189

Louisa and I were finally sitting in the car on our way home. I had reclined Louisa's seat somewhat under her protest to take the pressure off the cervix. We had already travelled quite some miles in silence when Louisa finally broke the quietude I didn't dare to disturb.

"Come on, say it." Louisa told me sadly.

"Say what."

"I know you're dying to say it, so say it."

"I don't know what you mean." I told Louisa honestly.

"Just say, 'I told you so'." Louisa commented in a deeper voice I have learned to realise was meant to be mimicking mine.

"No." I told her firmly.

"Why not? You said I should take it easy, but I didn't listen. Now I've put our baby at risk." She concluded sadly.

"It is important that you don't worry too much. Everything can still be fine, if you follow Dr. Green's instruction carefully. Besides, the baby is already at an advanced gestation state, so even if the pregnancy has to be induced early – which is not necessarily the case – the baby would have a fair fighting chance." I explained.

"Still, if I had listened to you and taken things easier..."

"You couldn't have done a thing to prevent it." I told her truthfully, before changing gear as the dual carriageway opened up before us.

"But you always said to take it easy to help the baby?" Louisa looked up to me inquiringly from her reclined position.

"I was afraid of preeclampsia, which can easily occur when the mother doesn't take it easy."

"And this cervix thing? That's nothing's to do with it?" Louisa asked tentatively.

"You couldn't have done anything to avoid that." I stepped on the brake as some stupid tractor came out of a side road without looking out for ongoing traffic. "Well, maybe except avoiding having a trauma induced unaided delivery in a pub beforehand." I concluded, as soon as I had changed the lanes to overtake the painstakingly slow vehicle.

"You think that could be the cause?"

"Cervical tears during a previous delivery are a known risk factor. Besides, you said at that time that you're sore."

"But the doctor had examined it, and she had said it was fine."

"Dr. uhm...she had been an appalling doctor. She couldn't even diagnose herself."

"Hm. True."

Louisa fell silent. After a while she glanced at me sideways.

"You know, it would have been easy."

"What would have been easy?"

"To make me feel guilty, you know? For you to have the upper hand in telling me 'I told you so'."

"I just told you that it had nothing to do with..:" I started to protest, exasperated about the inability to grasp the concept.

"I know, I know." Louisa touched my arm slightly, which had indeed the intended calming effect. "Still. I wouldn't have known."

"There is no causal relation..." I tried to explain again.

"Yes, Martin, I understand. Still, many men would have been tempted to prove their point, no matter what the facts were."

I ducked my head.

"But that wouldn't have been honest." My wife continued. "And that's why it never even crossed your mind. Most men I've ever known – starting with my father – twisted the truth to their own liking. Most had no reservations at all saying whatever they thought suited their course best. You are completely different. You simply cannot twist the truth, not even tweak it a tiny bit." My wife grew silent for a moment and I could see her glancing at me. "Thank you." She finally told me lowly in a gentle tone.

I never know what to make of praise like this. So I ducked my head, uttering "Rubbish".

To be continued...